This ran, incredibly, a full six years ago, but it’s amazing how well it has held up to the test of time. It’s such a good post that it deserves a rerun.
Curious asks me about my “game” philosophy. I didn’t want to write this post, but I decided to bang one out anyway.
First of all, women have no understanding of Game, similar to how they do not understand many things. Women think Game is evil. They think Game involves trickery, scamming, deceiving, and manipulating as a form of seduction. Of course it can be that, and seduction is the biggest scam of them all. Honest player is an oxymoron. But it needn’t be so. It’s possible to have great Game if you are simply a very sexy man who is appealing to women.
Your Game is your sex appeal and everything you do to get women to like you.
Really your Game is simply your sex appeal. Your Game, more specifically, is all of those techniques, styles, behaviors, thoughts, feelings and manners that a man uses to try to get women. All men have Game. Even men with monogamous partners have Game. The monogamous man who is irresistible to women, the guy ever woman in the office wants but can’t have – this man has fantastic Game.
Obviously married men used Game to get into the relationship in the first place. Many monogamous men are nevertheless very smooth operators who are quite sexy to women. That’s their Game right there.
And their Game is also whatever techniques, styles, etc. they are using to keep the relationship on the up and up because all relationships with women, even marriages, must be Gamed. You have to Game your woman. You have to Game your wife. I’m sure there are a lot of men out there who will jump up and scream that they do not use any Game in their relationships or marriages. If that’s true, I feel sorry for them. I can’t think of an easier way to blow up a relationship or marriage than refusing to Game it and Game it well.
There are a set of blogs out there talking about Married Man’s Game. Yep, your Game is ongoing even after you get married, and there is a recognition in the Manosphere that even relationships and marriages must be Gamed to keep them functioning well.
Women will not understand anything I wrote above and will go on insisting that Game is some diabolical form of scammy and sleazy seduction. As I said, it can but it needn’t be. Fine. Let them think that. But you men should know better if you got this far already.
Where do you usually meet women? Bars? Social circle?
What does your Game consist of? What do you talk about with women that gets them attracted to you?
Women like me, and I know how to talk to women. Or at least they used to, and I used to. Now I’m not attractive to anyone. A lot of women still like just fine, but they don’t want me getting to close, especially the younger. It’s a very surface friendliness with the idea behind it that I should not try to make it friendlier and more personable.
I assume I still know how to talk to women. In fact, I just talked to a few women today on some dating sites. Apparently I’ve still got it.
I also understand women extremely well, that is, “I know women.” I know how they operate and how they think, and I can figure them out to some degree to the extent that they can be figured out by anyone. It’s very important to become a “student of women” and try to figure out what makes them tick.
This education should be reality based and subject to reality testing with real world women and not just something you read in some guy’s book or on a website somewhere. Like most things, it comes from real world experience.
Sadly, men who have little experience with women will never learn to understand them well and hence will probably continue messing up with them, acting inappropriately, etc.
I often go quite slow, and women often say I am very nice. That’s why they like me. They say, “You are kind to me”, “You are very nice to me.” Stuff like that. I know you are not supposed to be a nice guy, but it works pretty good for me.
On the other hand, I do not tolerate much in the way of shit from women. If they get out of line, sometimes I just say things like, “Shut up bitch!” Then I give them a big grin and start laughing. Curiously, they often respect that, but I would not overdo it. Women like a guy who stands up to their shit when they overstep their bounds.
I generally “let the woman lead” as far as conversation, flirtation, talking about sex, and whatever goes. I hold back and just make occasional probing remarks here and there and now and then and see how they respond. They are usually the ones who start talking about sexual stuff first, because I am not into jumping off with that. Sometimes I get the impression that they get frustrated with me because I am not moving on them, so they start moving on me.
I also apologize a lot and even ask if I offended them if I say something sexual. The response is usually, “No! Not at all!”
I know that going slow like that is not supposed to work, but it works for me.
My philosophy is “let the woman lead.” If you put her in charge of the situation, she feels empowered. It’s also important to have an accepting role of female sexuality. I don’t slut shame. I even slut praise. This opens them up so they feel relaxed about being sexual.
A lot of times they confess all sorts of wild sexual stuff to me – how they screwed two guys at once, got gangbanged, had sex with a woman, and all of the weird kinks and perversions they have. You would be amazed at how much wild sexual stuff many ordinary women have done and how bizarre, kinky, or even sick their fantasies or kinks are.
I accept all of their wild sexual activities and kinks. I cheer it all on and try not to slut shame in any way whatsoever. In my opinion, slut shaming in any way puts the cooler on female sexuality. Even women who have been to orgies and who like to have sex with other women don’t really like being slut shamed.
If a woman is more proper or takes pride in not being a slut, I cheer that on too, and tell her that I appreciate a woman like that, a woman who’s not a slut and takes pride in her sexual propriety. You praise her for being a good girl.
I know it’s hypocritical to both praise sluts for being sluts and good girls for being good girls, but that’s the way I roll.
I never admit or confess to any sexual weaknesses such as not getting any or being unsuccessful with women in any way, shape, or form. Nothing turns a woman off more than a guy who can’t get any.
I do make references to my sexual history, typically just to alleviate concerns that I am some sort of a virgin. I use “fake modesty” when I do this and say it in a matter of fact way like I was talking about drinking water. I also act like I am embarrassed about my history and often say it’s not all beds of roses, that there’s a downside to promiscuity. Women like studs but not braggart studs. More like modest studs who act like it’s no big deal, like breathing air.
I also often say that my promiscuous days are in the past, and now I am looking for one woman, as I am too old to run around now. That’s probably a lie, but it’s a great line. If you come right out and say you’re a player, and that’s the way you roll, you turn a lot of women off who don’t want to be Woman Number 4. Most women want to be Woman Number 1, and you have to make her feel like she has a chance to do that, even if she really doesn’t.
So don’t say, “I’m a player.” She thinks you will pump and dump her or you have various other women, and most women don’t dig that. Much better to come off as “reformed and chagrined player who had his fun but now he’s seen the light and ready to change and be a one-woman man” even if that’s a complete lie, which in my case it always has been. It doesn’t matter if what you tell women is true or not; all that matters is whether this or that line or attitude is going to work or not. If it doesn’t work, don’t say it. If it works, say it. Whether it’s true or a lie is irrelevant when dealing with women. If telling the truth is going to work, you tell the truth. If lying is going to work best, then you lie. Real simple.
I make a point to say how I like women better than men, and I prefer the company of women to the company of men ,and that’s just the kind of guy I am and have always been.
If they ask me why I never married, I say that I dated 200 women and girls in my life, and I had a great life with a lot of great love affairs and even long term relationships. That turns a number of them off right there, but others either laugh or get intrigued. Often they express shock and disbelief. Probably the most common reaction is uncontrolled laughter. For some reason, most humans, boys, girls, men, and women from 8 year old boys to 80 year old women think notorious playboys are hilarious. This is true across cultures too. That holds across cultures too. I told that to an Indian friend of mine and he told his wife, a proper and prim Brahmin women who may have been a virgin when she got married. I was afraid she would act disgusted but he told me she laughed for a good 10 minutes.
Then I say, “I just never married any of them.” Women don’t like older never married men too much. When I was younger, they didn’t even like younger never married men. The idea is that there is something wrong with you that turns off women, or you can’t get laid and you are a 40 year old virgin. Basically, never married screams “Loser!” to a lot of women. On the other hand, players get a pass.
If some notorious player never married, no one really cares too much. That is considered an acceptable way to be a hardcore bachelor. Once again, a lot of people seem to think it is hilarious too. As you get older, it can get even more hilarious because older men are not supposed to be like this. Older players are almost defying the laws of physics and for some reason, they are even more hilarious. They’re like a runaway train that even the US airforce can’t get.
I am happy being alone. I never say I am lonely or miserable even if I am. If I am depressed, I usually lie and say I’m not. I can’t think of anything stupider than telling a woman you’re lonely, miserable, or depressed. You might as well take a felt pen and write loser across your forehead. This is what I mean when I said you have to lie to women. Being honest to women all the time simply doesn’t work. It’s a guaranteed fail. Why do it? You trying to win points with Jesus?
I admit that I am broke, but I say that I don’t care, and I am not into money. If you say you are broke and miserable, once again that screams loser.
Bottom line is if your life is screwed up in any way, don’t admit it to women. It’s a guaranteed fail. Simply embrace the screwed up areas of your life and say you are perfectly happy living in a slum, driving a rattletrap, or eating cans of beans for dinner or whatever it is that is messed up about your life.
The main thing is that if she sees you as weak, you are not going to get any. It doesn’t matter if you are weak in various ways in your personal life. All of us men are weak. The only men who are not weak are liars and dead men. So what if you’re weak about this or that! Just don’t admit it to women!
Women hate whiners. If you whine, women say get off your ass and solve your problem, idiot! And don’t complain too much, at least about personal stuff. You can complain about non-personal stuff all you want.
I am a very easy-going guy with a great sense of humor.
I ask women a lot about their own lives and get them talking about themselves a lot. This is great because people love to talk about themselves, and most guys don’t listen to women at all. If a woman is going on and on about the latest crazy drama she is involved in, simply lean forward, make occasional comments like, “I see”, “ok”, “And then what happened?”, “Ahhhh”. “He did?”. you get the picture. That’s called active listening. You don’t have to actually listen to her. I think you should try to listen, but if her crazy hour-long drama story leaves you baffled, just lean forward and pretend you understand.
I’ve been doing this my whole life and women always say what a fantastic listener I am. Truth is a lot of the time I am just pretending to listen to them or humoring them when they are rambling on about some convoluted drama. I doesn’t work to tell women to shut up or that you are bored, that they’ve talked enough, or that you don’t care. That’s a fail. A lot of men do this. Men are notorious for not listening to women at all, telling them they are boring, tuning them out, walking out of the room, telling them to shut up, etc. I understand why men do this because women’s endless soap opera lives are rather insipid from our point of view.
The more crucial matter is: You want to get laid or not? Women love good listeners. That’s the best thing you can be. When women are happy with your behavior, they tend to reward you. As in, you get laid. What I am saying is pretend to listen to her if you want to have a sex life. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to some convoluted and absurd drama after dinner for a couple of hours. When she’s done, she typically said what a wonderful listener I am, got a smile on her face, and said let’s go in the bedroom. Get it? If you’re a good listener, she rewards you by fucking you!
With women I know on any level, I figure out where I am with them sexually to the extent if I can say anything remotely sexual or even friendly. Test the waters now and again with friendly conversation and see how far it goes. If she shuts it down, pack up and leave. Too many men keep pounding away and rejecting women like they are broken coke machines, and if you bang on them enough, a bottle comes out.
If you to figure where you are sexually with her, there are things you can say to bring that out. Compliment her on her outfit. Tell her she looks beautiful today. Be very careful about sexual conversations with women you know if you are not sure they are ok with that. That’s a serious danger zone. You can only talk about sexual stuff with women who have greenlighted you to do that. Way too many men get too friendly with unfriendly women and get way too sexual with women are not even friendly to them, forget sexually interested. This is the source of most women’s complaints about creepy behavior.
Women are not broken coke machines. A shutdown is a shutdown. It means bye bye, not try harder, I’m playing hard to get, etc. Way too many men keep persisting in the face of the obvious shutdowns and this the root cause of this #metoo idiocy.
With a lot of young women nowadays, I can’t even get very friendly with them by engaging them in much conversation, forget talking dirty or flirting. They see me as an old man, and while they are polite to me, any conversation other than perfunctory is regarded as “overly friendly,” and if I try to do it, I tend to get hard shutdowns pretty quickly.
I monitor the situation all the time with all the women I know or in my life and keep a database in my head regarding where I am with them on a friendly or sexual basis and hence how I am allowed to talk to them. Then I proceed to deal with them accordingly.
You can talk to different women about different things at different levels. Figure out what are the permissible levels of conversation with each women you deal with regularly and then deal proceed. Update regularly as if they were entries in a database. The more you do this, the less you will be accused of inappropriate or creepy behaviors.