Category Archives: Women

Women’s Double Standards on Staring

Jason Y writes:

I think there is a fine line between flirting and staring (like “Why don’t you take a picture. It lasts longer :lol:.) Good idea not to stare even if it was back in the 1950s.

Flirting is even worse than staring. Women get stared at all the time, so what? But you really ought to be careful who you flirt with. If you flirt with a woman who is not receptive to your flirting, you’re going to make her angry and it’s not a pleasant scene

I am not really into staring at women myself. I look at them, but I know how to look at them without staring.

  • Look a bit, then look away, then look a bit, then look away.
  • Look at the whole group of them and no one in particular, and she will be part of that group.
  • Look at her out of the corner of your eye.
  • Wear sunglasses, and look at them out of the corner of your eye.

Anyway, women and girls have been staring at me all my life, when these bitches complain about men staring at them, they leave me cold. You bitches do it too, so shut up!

What Does It Mean When a Woman Stares at You?

When a woman stares at you, it usually means she wants to fuck. Especially if they stare at you in a particular way like they are robots, frozen, hypnotized or one of the Stepford Wives. When they go into that trance/hypnotized state, it always means that they either want to fuck, they like you in a sexual way, or maybe they are just having a sexual fantasy about you. Guaranteed.

I don’t get these stares much anymore at my age, but if I do, I am certain of what it means.

I suppose there are other stares that do not mean she likes you, but usually women who hate you, think you’re weird, think you’re a creep, etc. don’t stare at you. That’s pretty much the last thing they do. You disgust them, so they are trying not to look at you.

I haven’t run into a lot of unpleasant stares from females in my life. I suppose they exist, but I do not have a lot of experience with that.

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Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Sex, Women

A Fascinating Phenotype from Fiji

Very interesting phenotype from Fiji.

Very interesting phenotype from Fiji.

Wow, she sure is beautiful, eh? I found this photo on Facebook and I know nothing about this young woman except she lives in Australia and she says her family origins are from Fiji. Fiji is a Melanesian island and most of the people there are Melanesians. I am not sure if it was ever a French colony but many islands in that area were colonized by the French and some still are.

There is large population of South Indians living in Fiji. They migrated there about 100 years ago, mostly from the North of India. They now speak a language called Fijian Hindustani. The ISO lists it as a separate language. Apparently it is a result of a number of North Indian languages mixing together in Fiji 100 years ago. Since then, quite a few English and Fijian loans have gone in. Intelligibility with Hindi is not known and it might be interesting to investigate.

I wonder if this woman is of Indian stock. She looks like she could be.

I met an Indian man in town once who told me that he spoke Fijian Hindustani and was from Fiji. He told me that the politics of the island was a mess because the Fijians and Indians were always fighting for power and both were very tribal. If the Fijians got into power, they would lock the Indians out, and if the Indians got in, it was the other way around. Zero-sum game for all concerned.

Feel free to comment on this woman and her possible racial origins.

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Filed under Babes, East Indians, Language Families, Linguistics, Melanesians, Oceanians, Pacific, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, South Asians, Women

Rising IQ in Western Women

Women have 5 IQ less than men in average, because their brain is smaller (Political correctness claims otherwise, they also say that overweight women are the most Beautiful). But but there are intelligent women of course. It’s only an average.

Historically, this was true, but I think the figure was 3.5 points, not 5 points. At any rate, there are many bright women and I have met many very high IQ, even genius women.

My colleague Jim Flynn has recently released evidence showing that in the US, women now match men on IQ. He thinks this is due to the increasingly complex nature of modern society and women are getting better at manipulating their way around all of this complexity and hence they are becoming more intelligent.

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Filed under Gender Studies, Intelligence, Psychology, Regional, Sociology, USA, Women

Robert Stark Interviews Matt Forney about Tag the Sponsor

Here.

He also refers to one of my articles.

I enjoyed this article, but I am starting to feel cold about the Alternative Right stuff. All of these morons keep insisting that I am a rightwinger, but I go to rightwing sites and I want to punch the computer. I do not agree with these people at all. Matt is very much anti-Left and that is a big turnoff. I am against the Cultural Left, but not the Left per se. Forget that.

Topics include:

Matt’s article Tag the Sponsor Exposes the Depravity of Modern Women about Instagram models who whore themselves out to Arab oil sheiks in Dubai

The depravity of Dubai and other oil rich Arab Gulf states

Do these women become irreparably damaged?

How society’s sexual mores have declined

Matt’s article on Cassandra Lynn’s Death Shows Why You Should Never Wife Up Broken Girls

Matt’s review of Jared Taylor’s Face to Face with Race

Matt’s article The Triumph of Hope Over Experience about Mayor Bill De Blasio and New York City

How New York City’s gentrification killed it’s created energy and how it’s symbolic of today’s decline in creativity

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Filed under Conservatism, Depravity, Left, Middle East, Political Science, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, Romantic Relationships, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, Urban Studies, USA, Women

What Is the Connection Between Feminism and Lesbianism?

Anonymous writes:

I’m more interested in how you think women hate men. Facts, statistics, anything? A source would be great. I just feel that your input is still very opinionated. I’d also like to further my theory in the opposing side. Though, I can understand the stereotype that feminists are all hairy, lesbian, hippies. But feminism is about inequalities toward women; and sometimes that is even caused by other women.

Where did I say that women hate men? Some women hate men, but most do not. A lot of women have a certain amount of built up anger towards men, but they may also have a lot of fondness towards them too. They have mixed feelings towards men, as many of us have mixed feelings towards a lot of things.

Do feminists hate men? A lot of them sure act like they do. And it’s been this way from Day One. Many of the greatest heroes or feminism were extreme man-haters, often lesbians or lesbian-separatists. Lesbian obsession is well known in feminism. Lesbians lesbians lesbians. It goes on and on.

Yet lesbians are only 2% of women. Yet lesbianism represents far more than 2% of lesbian discourse. If feminism was not connected to lesbianism, one would assume that feminists would talk about lesbianism maybe 2% of the time, right? Yet they talk about it far more than that. This implies that lesbianism is a very important part of feminism.

And yes, many feminists are lesbians, and there are branches of feminism, such as lesbian feminism and radical feminism, that actively promote lesbianism and man-hatred. In the 1960’s there was a big movement in feminism for women to go off and form their own lesbian communities “to try to live apart from men.” These were the first lesbian separatist movements. Many women who went off and joined these communities and got involved in lesbianism later decided that was not what they liked and left those communities. Hence many of those communities sort of withered away.

I understand women very well and I have known many women in this life. I have long noted that women who call themselves feminists seem angry at men and are often man-haters. In fact, there is a linear relationship. The more of a feminist the woman is, the more of a man-hater she is. However, I do believe that there are feminists who are not man-haters.

And the loudmouths that are heterosexual? At the end of the day and they need cock like any other straight women. The more sexually active a heterosexual feminist is, the less she hates men. There is a linear relationship there too. The more she loves cock, the less she hates men. Many women who truly love cock and men explicitly reject feminism and say they are not feminists because they associate it with man-hatred, lesbianism and other things. These women’s attitude seems to be “I love men too much to be a feminist.” I run into this attitude all the time.

So there is a disconnect between feminist discourse, in which the man-hatred and contempt for masculinity and male sexuality is obvious, and the most feminists actually live their lives. When it comes to man-hatred, most feminists talk a great game but when it comes down to it at the end of the day, most of them love dick too much to truly hate men. And most women who love cock love men. I never run into a man-hater who on the other hand loves cock. I am not sure if they exist.

But feminist leadership has been heavily lesbian. There must be a reason for this odd fact. And many feminists converted to lesbianism upon getting heavily into feminism. They call themselves political lesbians. They simply turned lesbian because they hated men so much.

Most of the feminists who truly hate men seem to be lesbians. Or they have quit having sex for whatever reason.

A lifetime of experience leads me to this conclusion.

For a long time I believe the feminist line that “feminists don’t hate men.” Then I started going to a lot of feminist websites and reading a lot of feminist material. The man-hatred was so thick you could cut it with a knife. That is when I started thinking that the “feminists hate men” was not the lie that feminists say it is but instead had some validity. Sure, not all feminists are man-haters but a lot of them are. The accusation has some basis in fact.

Why is feminism so wildly obsessed with lesbianism far to the degree that they ought to be. Keep in mind that feminists logically should only talk about lesbianism 2% of the time. Yet lesbianism counts for far more than 2% in feminist discourse. One asks, “Why the lesbian obsession?” Because lesbianism, especially political lesbianism, is the ultimate in hatred and contempt for men. It is the ultimate expression of a profound hatred for males. Hence the lesbianism obsession in feminist discourse derives directly from man-hatred and from nothing else.

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Filed under Feminism, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Radical Feminists, Sane Pro-Woman, Sex, Women

Borderline Personality Disorder: A Brief Overview

Stealth writes:

I guess that’s what you call it when someone experiences emotions more intensely than usual?

To put it mildly.

It is worse than that. Borderlines are trainwrecks. Human trainwrecks. And as if that were not bad enough, many of them are simply doing it on purpose. Why? Because they like to. They like to be crazy. They enjoy it. It’s fun. It’s fun to be nuts, to go in and out of the hospital, to attempt suicide over and over, to ruin your own life and that of everyone else around you. They’re doing what they want to do. This is how they want to live their lives.

A typical day for a Borderline is a maelstrom of intense emotionality, with strong states of anxiety, depression, rage, depression, etc. alternating throughout the day, often via rapid shifts even within the hour. They are up, down, and all around and all over the place at once. The hallmark symptom of the Borderline is rage. That is why Borderlines are Human Tornadoes and most sane people try to stay clear of them. They enjoy this rage and guard it zealously.

Most Borderlines are only capable of being good for a short period of time. With one Borderline I knew, I would calculate how long she was capable of being good. Towards the end, it was down to about 8 hours. She simply could not be good beyond 8 hours. She would fall apart and start acting bad again. Another Borderline I stayed with for a while was only capable of being good for 12 hours before she would start acting bad again. She would be a monster for the first half of the day, and then turn reasonable in the second half of the day.

When I say acting bad, this is what I mean. Borderlines “act bad” in the same way that 2 year old’s do. In fact, my opinion is that Borderlines are permanently 2 years old. If the world of the narcissist can be summed up by, “And now we are six…” the Borderline will be forever a 2 year old. They honestly stopped growing right around that time.

The worst Borderlines look to me like a human shaped like a drinking glass. Picture a human being as a drinking glass. In the case of the Borderline, someone dropped the glass on the floor and it’s now shattered into 100 or 1,000 pieces. I have worked with Borderlines who seemed about that shattered. The feeling one gets is you look upwards, circle your eyes round a few times, and say, “Where do I begin?” That’s the problem with the Borderline. The glass in on the floor, broken. There are 100-1,000 pieces on the ground. The clinician looks at the mess and throws up his hands because he can’t begin to figure out how to put this human being back together again.

The worst Borderlines have split so badly that they have developed what appear to be different personalities. I have known two Borderline women who seemed to have multiple personalities. I do not think this is true Multiple Personality Disorder, the existence of which is uncertain anyway, but it would look a lot like it to anyone who is not a clinician.

You can actually see the different personalities come out to play and watch as they take over the person. The personalities come and go as the Borderline moves in and out of them, oblivious. A relationship with a Borderline is a case of “Who is home today?” You never really know who is home. You never know what sort of a mood they will be in. They are unpredictable, worse than the weather.

Certainly Borderlines are in a tremendous amount of pain. On this basis, they deserve our sympathy. The problem is that it is hard to feel sympathy for Borderlines because most of them behave horrifically. The Borderline is always right. You are always wrong. The Borderline attacks you all day long when you have done nothing at all. This is called, “Fighting back.”

Borderlines are always picking fights, but they can’t see it so they see themselves as always “fighting back.” Their victims “started it,” except that they didn’t. The Borderline’s aggression is “self-defense and fighting back” even when the victim has done nothing wrong. You cannot retaliate against a Borderline. If a Borderline attacks you 500 times and you fight back on the 501st time, that is called “aggression.”

Any sort of fighting back by the victim is reason for extreme escalation, and the Borderline then starts “firing nuclear weapons.” Borderlines are extremely observant and one very interesting thing about them is that they will be able to figure you out very well, probably better than most people have ever figured you out in their lives.

They can’t figure themselves out, but Borderlines are brilliant at understanding others. Unfortunately, they do nothing good with this and only use this soul-mining information to create databases of all of your sore points, weaknesses and Achilles Heels. The create Oracle databases out of your weak spots and any time you try to fight back against them, they start shooting nuclear weapons at your rawest nerves.

As you can imagine, this behavior is infuriating. Most of us spend most of our lives dealing with folks who may be difficult at times but in general are not infuriating. Borderlines are infuriating. They are enraging. They “try to push you to your limits.” My own view that what Borderlines are doing is called, “Trying to get murdered.” It would not surprise me if a lot of battered and murdered women were Borderlines. Victims are not always as innocent as they seem. A lot of victims of violence are actually “asking for it” and I have little sympathy for such intrepid and heedless folks. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Borderlines are often suicidal. The Borderlines that I have worked with typically had racked up 8-13 suicide attempts by age ~30. Obviously, most of these are melodramatic cries for help and attention and are not serious. Borderlines often cycle in and out of the hospital. They are often in therapy, but often little gets done there other than infuriating the therapist.

There is some evidence that some folks can sort of graduate out of Borderline behavior. There are some women who get to this point at about age 40. I am not sure how healthy they are, but they do not have BPD anymore. BPD is hard to treat because the person is so shattered, everything is everyone else’s fault, and honestly, most of them really don’t want to get better.

Oh, one more thing. Almost all Borderlines – 80% – are females. Many male Borderlines are gay or bisexual, as Borderline can simply be seen as the Female Principle run amok. Male Borderlines are very bad. They are much worse than the females. They are often violent and many can be found in jails and prisons. It is hard to believe that anyone could act worse than a female Borderline, but male Borderlines accomplish this.

If you have a Borderline woman in your life, get her out of your world. Now. Not now, yesterday. Just do it.

With the onset of feminism and the unleashing and feralization of Western females, BPD has exploded. Fully 8% of US females are BPD’s. That number has been growing in recent years. I have spoken to my mother about her generation, and while women have always been nutty, there is no way that 8% of women were BPD’s in my Mom’s generation. In contrast, most women were rather sedate and controlled as being a “crazy woman” was seen as very shameful, at least in my mother’s circle. The “crazy women” in the family, friend circle or neighborhood were whispered about in hushed tones while the others shook their heads.

It is clear to me that increasing numbers of women in the US are mentally ill. This has coincided with the modern era and in particular with feminism. My conclusion is that there is something about feminism and the modern world that is making women crazy.

There is much more to say about Borderlines, but I will just leave it at this for now.

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Filed under Borderline, Feminism, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Mental Patients, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Women

Feminists Don’t Even Understand Men

These silly feminists don’t understand us men at all. It is odd because their whole raison de etre is all about hating us and yet they don’t have the faintest understanding of us. They have written endless documents about men and spent decades lecturing the world about us, and they don’t even have the faintest understanding of us.

As a Leftist, what makes me sad is really sad is that the only people who really understand men are conservatives. Isn’t that sad?

The Right understands men, especially the Cultural Right. The Manhattan Institute, who I despise, has written some superb articles about the Manosphere and how feminism created this whole Manosphere Backlash Nightmare in the first place. They get it. I hate them, but they got the memo.

My mother understands men. Her support for feminism is odd in such an older women (born 1932), but in her case as with so many feminists, it all boils down to revenge.

Feminism is revenge against men.

Feminism started out as equal rights but it quickly evolved into revenge as all Identity Politics groups do at some point. For instance, Black rights groups are much more motivated by revenge against Whites than equal rights for Blacks these days. This is because they have evolved beyond equal rights are now into the move towards Supremacy.

No Identity Politics group wants equal rights. But they all start out this way, and in this aspect of their evolution, they are correct and deserve and gain a lot of support. But they quickly move beyond that into revenge and the drive for supremacy.

Honestly, any Identity Politics group advocating mere equality is going to be left in the dust by the groups advocating domination and supremacy, as the latter will outcompete the former.

All women from my mother’s generation understand men. However, some of these older women are feminists. I know some of them.

These older feminists have a vengeance mindset:

Men hurt women for many years. The only way to get back to the equality of a zero state is to counter the male traditional abuse with vengeance based abuse of men.

At some possible future point, the abuses of each sex by the other will all balance out, and then we will arrive at the zero state everyone really wants, but this probably will not happen because once groups get a vengeance mindset, they seem to want to hold onto their retaliatory tactics forever. In other words, in order to sign a peace treaty and quit fighting, Identity Politics would have to admit that they are no longer victims.

However, at some point, former victims will become rulers. This is the phenomenon known as When Victims Rule. Even when victims transform into rulers, they are loath to give up their victimhood. The Jews are a classic case of When Victims Rule. The worst thing you can do to a Jew is take away his victimhood. This is a dangerous thing to do, and the Jew will do anything, possibly even kill, to retain his cherished abused status.

I don’t like the ideology of these older feminists, but they get it. Their ideology is:

Yes, women are insane, but so what? They still have a right to repress men because…:

1. Fairness (victims have a right to victimize their abusers to “balance things out”)

2. Puritanism (vengeance against male sexuality)

3. Women got their feelings hurt (vengeance for assaults)

Number 3 is especially important. If you study female psychology, you realize that the worst thing in the world is for a female to get her feelings hurt. Of course they get their feelings hurt every day of their lives, but no matter. It is still the worst of cardinal sins if you are the one who hurt her feelings.

Worse, when this ultimate sin has been committed against a woman, she has a right to use any weapons at her disposal to retaliate, so great was this crime. All the rules of war are off. Why? She got her feelings hurt.

The most base, amoral, sleazy, evil and even criminal tactics are all approved. Why? She got her feelings hurt.

That crime gives the mandate to remove all rules from the subsequent retaliation. Many women have told me that they have a right to engage in the most abusive tactics towards people they hate.

You would not believe how many women have told me that they had a right to make up complete lies about their enemies. Now this is something I will never do. There is nothing worse than false accusation. I will not do this to my worst enemy. Why should I? If he is really as evil as I say he is, I shouldn’t have to make up things about him. Right? The record of evil should speak for itself.

And if I have to make up things about my worst enemy, this implies that he was not such a bad person after all, right? If so, then why do I hate him? Why is my worst enemy a good person? What does that say about me that I make enemies out of good people? See what I am getting at?

You never make a false accusation about any human ever for any reason. I would not make up a false accusation about Hitler! Why should I? His record of evil is bad enough, why bother about making up lies about his evil when the facts should suffice?

There are other problems. If you hate someone, it is usually based on, “I am a good person and they are a bad person.” I am convinced that this what most interpersonal feuds are about. But when you make up lies about your enemies, you’re no longer on the good side of the ledger. Now you are being a bad person too. And how can a bad person attack a bad person on a good vs evil basis? See? Moral warriors must retain the high ground or lose all standing in their crusade.

Hi, I am a bad person and I want to fight this other bad person because he is evil.

Why would anyone ally with you on that basis?

And warriors need allies as otherwise wars are lonely affairs.

I would add that the women of my mother’s generation didn’t seem to like sex very much. The less women like sex, the more they want to stick it to men because of:

1. Puritanism
2. Revenge

Women who really like to have sex with men don’t want to stick it to us very much because they figure the result will be less sex for them, and women who love men are typically cock addicts. I am serious. They are addicted. They cannot keep away from the dick. Even many feminists are like this. So one of the requirements to be a feminist jihadi is to either not like sex with men very much or to be a clueless fool, a hungry person who is eliminating their own food supply.

If you talk to any woman from a 3rd World country, they understand men implicitly.

All men from 3rd World countries understand men completely.

The guys in the Manosphere are sleazy misogynists and I hate them, but of course they understand men. They know us too well, and this is part of the problem with that movement.

Traditional society has always understood men.

But feminists don’t even get us at all.

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Filed under Conservatism, Cultural Marxists, Ethics, Feminism, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Political Science, Politics, Psychology, Sex, Women

What Was So Bad about the 1950’s?

Was the West pre-1960`s not fucked up?

From the stories I have heard from older people. They were even more fucked up then the PC culture we have right now.

Don`t work on sundays, you will suffer in hell forever. Because God loves you.

Well up to a point agree with you. Because these idiots ruled the world.
It`s only a matter of time and not having a climate/oil/nuclear apocalypse
before the rationalist Chinese will take over.

I lived in the 1950’s.

I cannot think of one family who believed in not working on Sundays. I grew up in a White suburb and any sort of store was always open on Sunday. That was not a very religious city. Nobody talked much about religion when I was growing up. Hell was rarely mentioned if at all. Yes, we went to Sunday School, but it was a very secular affair. No one talked much about God either. You didn’t hear “God loves you,” very often. In fact, in my city, people who went on like that were called “Jesus freaks” and “religious nuts/kooks.” Nobody much liked them.

There was no Black slavery. Nobody knew anything about religious oppression, though there was quite a stir when Kennedy ran for President. A lot of people thought a Catholic could not be elected President, but he won. People were not very wild at all then. It was a very conforming era. You would never see a female stranger going off on a male stranger in public. It just never happened. Women deferred to men. Of course women were as bitchy and insane as they have ever been, but even that was toned down a lot because it was considered dishonorable to be a “crazy woman,” so even in the home, women did not act out very much. You never saw a woman going off in public, ever. And women did not attack men. Never.

Let me give you an example. I constantly hear from men about how their gf’s and wives assault them. Yes they physically attack them. I have had gf’s attack me too. Back then, before the 1950’s, this hardly ever happened. For the women in my Mom’s social circle, it would be considered deeply shameful to strike your husband. It was just not done. That was what trashy, low class and non-White women did. A proper middle class White woman never did such a thing.

Look around you at the women you know. Notice how many of them are insane and exhibit symptoms that resemble Borderline Personality Disorder? Notice how many are suicidal or attempting suicide? Although of course women have always had a tendency to be crazy, back in that era, it was considered very shameful to be a crazy woman so women mostly kept their nuttiness to themselves. For instance, there was one woman in my Mom’s circle who was a well-known nutcase, Borderline Personality Disorder. Nowadays she would not even be abnormal. She would be considered a perfectly normal woman. This woman was utterly despised by all the women in her circle as a “crazy woman” who “attacked and belittled men,” and “could not control herself.” The man she belittled was her husband. My Mom’s circle thought is was disgusting and sickening for a woman to beat up on and pussy whip her husband like that. That was the mark of a deplorable woman.

So you see, all of these things are now completely normal and nobody bats an eye. What would be consider batshit nuts and grounds for scandal and shunning 55 years ago is now known as “normal female behavior.” In other words, feminism has decided that is not normal and healthy for women to act insane, violent and evil.

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Filed under American, Borderline, Culture, Feminism, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Mental Patients, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Race/Ethnicity, USA, Whites, Women

The Enigma of Female Pain Freaks

Sam writes:

“RL: …demanding that I shit in her mouth…”

Sam: I don’t understand this at all. I have no clue. Blank. How this can in any way be pleasurable I can not fathom. The only thing I can think of is the girl is mentally ill and wants to be abused. Why girls want this, I don’t know. It may be possible that it’s a remnant from the ancient past. When villages were attacked in cave man times the Men were all killed. It would make sense that only the Women who could become completely submissive could survive. Any trouble and they were killed. So maybe a psychological defense for abuse survived in those Women whose relatives were all killed but them.

She definitely was into being abused. That was what she was all about. She wanted me to do all sorts of crazy and kinky things to her which you folks really do not need to know about. I agreed to most of them. I take requests you know. I played the role she wanted me to play like an actor in movie playing a character. I wasn’t taking it seriously. It was like a great big game, which is all sex is to me anyway.

Except I won’t shit in a chick’s mouth. Not yet anyway. I hope I am strong enough to never do that. Personally, I do not think any self-respecting man should ever do anything like that to any woman ever, for any reason.

A man who does that – I don’t want to call him a loser. He’s disreputable. Sinking. He’s turned himself into whale shit, and that’s at the bottom of the ocean. Something essential inside of him has died.

I think if I ever did an awful act like that, I fear that a very important part of me might die, perhaps that last Gnostic flickering dim light of humanism left in my corroded heart, the flickering match among the ruins, might wink out one last time, I would go black, blank and lost, and the night would last forever.

If I ever descend so low as to do something like that, honestly I hope I just kill myself. Seriously. Because then I would be a monster, and ghouls must not walk among men.

A man should retain some dignity in life if only so he can sleep well at night, and I sleep very well, thank you.

I have to look at myself in the mirror too, you know.

I won’t go into details, but a few times I violated my own moral code so badly that I couldn’t look in the mirror for a dozen weeks afterwards. Every time I looked at that glass I saw this ugly monster glaring back at me, and I would swell up with bubbling rage, so badly did I want to kill that man in the glass. It was all I could do to keep from actually hitting the glass.

I was also suicidal. On those same few occasions when I have morally abased myself by my own standards, I wanted to die for weeks afterwards. Just to it. Get it over with, dammit. Smash the mirror, kill the ugly mirror-man hiding in the glass, then off the trembling sack of bones while you are at it for a double play and a home run at the same time.

Adhering to a moral code is important for my self-esteem, and I doubt if I am the only one. It is so much easier to like yourself if you think you are basically a good person.

And it might be nice to get to ~80 without looking back on your life, wincing, cringing and plunging your head into your cupped hands.

Back to the crazy girl. After that scene, we did some really perverted, kinky, twisted and crazy stuff at her request, and I got into it a bit, but it was more stage acting than mining a part of myself.

Yes, she was full-on submissive, into being abused. She told me that she wanted to be some sort of a submissive sex slave for a dominant master, preferably a great big mean Black guy.

The sex scene continued off down the hallway and into the bathroom – you will have to use your imagination here. In the bathroom, knees on the floor, hysterical with crazed lust, she suddenly blurted out, “I want to be branded!”

Branded! Huh? Yeah that’s right. She wanted to be branded with a hot branding iron like a cow. Nuts. What kind of a human wants to be branded like a cow with a hot metal branding iron? I don’t get it.

I do not think I could brand a woman. That is too over the edge. Once a man starts branding women with hot irons, he should check himself into the nearest prison to protect society from his own black heart. Monsters and men must walk apart.

I can’t inflict much pain on women during sex, even when they are masochistic and actually request it. It doesn’t do anything for me, and it feels weird to be making another human suffer physical pain like that. You’re actually torturing another human being you know.

I had this girlfriend once who was a masochistic submissive, totally into pain. She was also the world’s biggest fag hag, and she had this whole circle of twisted gay male masochistic pain freak friends. She would regale me with stories of her gay best friends. Making an inch or two with her fingers, she would recount, mesmerized, “He’s not satisfied until the welts are this big!” Her eyes would go huge and wild, and she would circle her head around when she recounted these tales, staring straight ahead with a frozen hypnotized deer in the headlights expression.

I would shake my head, act disgusted and say, “Quit talking about your crazy fag friends. These guys are sick fuck fags, and hearing about them makes me want to puke!”

This crazy woman wanted me to squeeze her nipples during sex. Hard. Real hard. I mean real hard! Then she would writhe and collapse onto her stomach, moaning in pain, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I would look up dazed and shake my head around, eyes batting confused while I thought, “What the Hell is wrong with this flipped out bitch? Why the God’s name am I doing this anyway? It feels so weird to hurt someone like this. It doesn’t even really feel good.”

I didn’t even particularly enjoy it, and I chalked it up to not being much of a sexual sadist. I felt like a maniac, and it felt more creepy, disturbing and frightening than anything else.

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Do Women Become Irreparably Damaged after Allowing Arab Princes to Defecate on Them?

Question of the day for you all. Inquiring minds need to know!

Which reminds me…

I really do not think I could crap on a woman or certainly not crap in her mouth. Sure I’m depraved, but even I have limits.

I was with a girl once who wanted me to do that to her. She was in back of me on her knees doing whatever you imagine she might be doing back there. She asked me to shit in her mouth!

I thought a bit, and then said, “No way!” Incredibly, she got angry at me, started crying and began beating her fists against my ass cheeks, demanding that I shit in her mouth. Despite the tantrum, I still refused. We did do some other shockingly depraved, twisted and perverted stuff later on that night, but that one demand was just too far. I really do not think I could shit on another human being for any reason, and I surely could not shit in someone’s mouth. I think if I ever did that to another human being, an important part of me would die forever. There are some doors that you just won’t through no matter how easy it is to turn the knob.

15 year old girl.

I was 21 years old, a mere boy.

It was only 1979, but it was long ago in another world.

When I reached 22, I quit having sex with underage girls. I was still getting requests from my teenage girl platonic friends who wanted to fix me up with their friends who supposedly wanted to date me (some as young as 14), but now I was turning them down. I was starting to get seriously afraid of cops, handcuffs and criminal records. It’s been 36 years, and I haven’t so much as touched a girl since. And in this climate, it needs to stay that way.

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Filed under Coprophilia, Depravity, Girls, Jailbait, Sex, Women