Category Archives: Heterosexuality

What Is the Grey Area between Bisexual and Biromantic?

Answered on Queera.

Aren’t all biromantic people bisexual? It would seem that bisexuality would be necessary to be biromantic at all.

Let’s look at this rationally.

I am a heterosexual man. Of course I can fall in love with a woman. How the Hell could I possibly fall in love with a man if I have no sexual attraction to men?! It makes no sense.

Consider a gay man. Of course he can fall in love with a man. How in God’s name could he fall in love with a woman if he’s not attracted to women at all?! How does it make sense?

How could a straight woman fall in love with a woman?!

How could a lesbian fall in love with a man!?

None of these things make any sense at all.

Generally you feel your strongest romantic attraction towards your maximal sexual attraction. This will be true even of bisexuals.

George Michael was strongly attracted to men and women through his whole life, but he said he could only fall in love with a man. His strongest sexual attraction would have been towards men.

I have talked to lesbians who were attracted to both men and women but women more. One told me she could only fall in love with a woman. Indeed, her orientation was 25–75 in favor of women.

The two things, romantic attraction and sexual attraction, go together quite well. You fall in love with what turns you on the most. You want to have sex with whatever you fall in love with the most.

It’s not rocket science.

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What Percentage of Homosexual People Is Acceptable To You in a Given Population?

Answered on Queera.

Believe it or not, all of the answers said that if a country’s population was 100% gay, that would be absolutely wonderful! I’m sure having all the population of your country gay would be the greatest thing since sliced bread! What the Hell’s the matter with people? It would be catastrophic for any country to be 100% gay, though we’re probably headed that way in the US at the rate we’re going here.

How could having 100% of the population of your country gay possibly be a good thing!? Color me mystified.

A given population as in for a country? 3%. That’s the percentage in the US, and it’s just fine by me.

Understand that homosexuality is bad for society in the sense that it causes a lot of costly problems for society. Furthermore, taxes paid by gays do not make up for the costs that society incurs from homosexuals.

  • Homosexuals live 20 years less than heterosexuals. This is horribly sad for gay people that they miss out on so many years of wonderful life, but it seems to me that reduced lifespan is costly to society.
  • Gays have higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders. While this causes a lot of suffering to gay people, and this is sad, at the same time, mental illness is costly to society.
  • Gays have much higher rates of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse than straights. The gay male party and play, scene revolving heavily around methamphetamine and club drugs is particularly alarming. Lesbians in particular smoke a lot. The costs of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse to gays themselves are no doubt significant in terms of disease, mortality, and the suffering that can come from excessive substance abuse, nevertheless, this incurs a lot of costs to society.
  • Gay men obviously have a very high STD rate. At 20% infection rate, the HIV rate is especially alarming. Most of these diseases remain confined to the gay community and have not broken out significantly to the straight community, with the exception of the Black community with all the down low men. But the great heterosexual HIV epidemic spreading from gays to straights never occurred mostly because HIV goes from men to women and then it stops, as spokesmen from the New York Department of Public Health said as early as the 1980’s. That’s not completely true, but it is very hard to get HIV from a woman. Hepatitis A, B, and C are or were very common in the gay community, vastly more common than among heterosexuals, most of whom only acquire B and C from IV drug use. Parasitical diseases such as shigella, ameobiasis and giardiasis are also extremely common among gay men, whereas they are quite rare among straights. In recent syphilis epidemics, up to 85% of cases are among gay men. Syphilis is quite uncommon among straights. Gay men have elevated rates of anal cancer, and the rate is rising. The rate is vastly higher than the rate among straights.I would like to point out that it is gay men themselves who suffer most from these diseases, and this suffering, although self-imposed, is often tragic, horrifying and heartbreaking in particularly in the heart-wrenching case of HIV. Lesbians have very low rates of STD’s but higher rates of breast cancer. I doubt if lesbians impose a disease burden on society. The very high gay male STD rate, in particular the HIV rate, obviously imposes considerable costs to society.
  • Tragically, gay men have a suicide rate 3X higher than straight men, even in San Francisco, the most gay-friendly place in the US. The attempted suicide rate is also very high. Gay male teenagers have a tragically very high attempted suicide rate at 8X the normal rate. Suicidal behavior causes unfathomable and heartbreaking suffering on gay men. However, attempted and completed suicides impose considerable cost on society.
  • Domestic violence rates are very high in gay and lesbian couples, especially the latter. A gay man is much more likely to beat his partner than a straight man is. A woman is much less likely to be beaten by a male partner than by a female partner. This causes immense suffering to the partners of gay and lesbian batterers. In addition, domestic violence is costly to society.
  • In gay areas, gay men typically take over all of the public restrooms and turn them into miniature sex clubs. This renders most public restrooms unusable by the rest of us. Most gay men typically vociferously support the use of public restrooms as sex dens for gays. I don’t have much sympathy here. Gay men are simply being very irresponsible with this depraved mindset. Further, this is a cost to society.

It is first of all most important to point out that gay men themselves suffer worst from most from these largely self-imposed conditions, a suffering so profound that it almost moves you to tears. Compassion is essential. Nevertheless, there is a cost to society. Some of these issues may be caused by discrimination (see the high teenage gay male attempted suicide rate), but there is a cost to society no matter what causes it. Some of these problems would lessen with increased acceptance of gays, but others would linger or possibly even worsen.

The question comes up whether gays pay for the costs they bring to society. Many gays seem to have above average intelligence for some reason, especially gay men. Gays seem more artistically talented than straights. More gays than straights seem to get college degrees, in particular gay men.

Gay men seem to earn higher than average wages and are disproportionately employed in high paying and prestigious professions. I am always hearing about a homosexual, often a gay man, who is contributing something noteworthy and exemplary to our society such that it mentions a media notice. Obviously, gay men contribute more to the tax base per capita than straights. So gays, especially gay men, offer considerable benefits to society, not flowing from their homosexuality but from other aspects of their lives.

I have not discussed lesbians here because I know little about them, but I doubt that they impose serious costs on society other than reduced lifespan.

However the question rises whether gays pay for themselves. Despite their excellent contributions to society and their higher than normal tax contributions, I still do not think that homosexuals pay for themselves.

The question then arises about whether the rest of us should be willing to carry a small burden for our gay brothers.

Personally I feel that at 3%, I am willing to shoulder the costs of homosexuals to society, as the numbers are so small that it is something we can cope with. I would be willing to tolerate up to 6% gay men in society. I think we could deal at that rate.

However, if the rate of male homosexuality went higher than that, all of these problems above would increase in scope with attendant costs.

Honestly, even when you get to 10% gay men in any country, your problems are going to go up a lot. The % of gay men in New York and San Francisco is quite high, and they definitely impose considerable costs on these cities.

Once you start heading up to 15–20% of any country’s population being gay, I think it would be unsustainable for many reasons (see above).

Homosexuality in society seems to be one of those things, like many things in life, that is best in small doses.

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Filed under Alcohol, Anxiety Disorders, Civil Rights, Death, Depressants, Discrimination, Gender Studies, Health, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Illness, Intoxicants, Man World, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Public Health, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, Speed, Stimulants

Are “Camp” Straight Guys Actually More Straight Than Other Straight Guys?

Answered on Quora:

No. The campier the straight man is, the more likely that he is not even straight at all. He’s likely to be either a closeted gay, or he will come out later on. Most completely heterosexual men are not campy.

As far as straight men who are so blazingly effeminate that they are just about queens, over on Datalounge, a gay chat site, one man said that he had known several “flaming” straight men who had wives, families and two or more children. Most people shrugged their shoulders, looked at the wife and family and said whatever.

You see, back then, there were some effeminate straight men with wives and kids. People would shake their heads and say, “Boy, Joe sure likes to iron his shirts, doesn’t he? But God bless him! Every night he goes home and gives it to Mrs. Jones.” And the community of straight men and women would just except him. Nowadays, this man would be called gay continuously.

Back in those days, people were not obsessed with homosexuality. Everyone was straight until proven otherwise. Straight people were not commonly accused of being gay. The sad thing about gays coming out is that we no longer practice “straight until proven otherwise,” which in my opinion was much better, and straight men are much more likely to be called gay than they were back in the day.

So while gay liberation has been great for gay men, most good things have a downside, and this was the downside for straight men. Frankly, I can’t see how gay liberation helped straight men. It didn’t help us or improve our lives in any way, and in a few ways, it made our lives worse.

It was necessary for equal rights for gays, so we should have supported it (and I did from way back into the 1980’s when it was risky), but there sure wasn’t anything in it for us. As feminists are now talking about how feminism is good for men too, I wonder if any gay men would tell us how gay rights was good for straight men in any way whatsoever.

Anyway, this gay man said that he had followed these “flamer” purported straight married men over decades, and after 20–30 years, every single one of them had come out as gay and left their families.

A new study showed that 67% of gay men but only 3% of straight men are effeminate. Effeminate straight men are not common at all.

There are many “feminine” straight men who are quiet, soft-spoken, sensitive, like to read, write, and cook and are not macho in the traditional sense. But a lot of these men have a sort of soft masculinity about them.

I would wager that if a straight man is so effeminate that he is out and out campy, he could be straight, but the odds that he is gay or will come out as gay later on are quite a bit higher than for non-effeminate straight men. In fact, I would wager that most of them are closeted gays or will come out as gay later on.

You cannot be effeminate at all in straight male culture. Even being feminine as above is quite frowned upon. A campy straight man would not be well liked and would have to endure a lot of abuse from his peers. This sort of peer pressure keeps most straight men from behaving this way, which I feel is a good thing.

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Tony Perkins Is an Anti-Gay Bigot, But a Lot of the Things He Says about Homosexuality Are True

I don’t have a high opinion of this reactionary idiot Tony Perkins. While the label of bigot and hater seems correct about him, unfortunately a number of things he says about homosexuality are flat out true. Others are ugly opinions, exaggerations, silliness, or untruths.

The dossier against Perkins can be found here at the site of one of the worst SJW organizations out there, the toxic and cancerous Southern Poverty Law Center. Let’s look at the charges:

contending that gay rights advocates intend to round up Christians in “boxcars.”

False. OK, that’s fanaticism.

But sometimes I wonder what sort of SJW dictatorship our SJW commissar overlords would have in store for us if they ever seized power. Looking at how hate-filled, vindictive, and out and out vicious your typical gay rights homosexual is nowadays, it’s not unreasonable to fear all sorts of bad things from these maniacs.

To give you an example, these gay activists absolutely hate me although I have supported gay rights since the 1980’s when it was dangerous to do so. That’s a good 35 years. And I work on their political campaigns, though I should probably quit based on how they treat me.

In order to be a proper gay rights ally and avoid being a homophobe, the goalposts have now been moved to positions that are so far beyond the endzone that most straight men would qualify as homophobes by default simply for having the normal opinions that straight men have towards male homosexuality (hint: they have a very low opinion of it).

“What most people either don’t realize or willfully ignore is that only 16 percent of Islam is a religion — the rest is a combination of military, judicial, economic, and political system. Christianity, by comparison, isn’t a judicial or economic code — but a faith. So to suggest that we would be imposing some sort of religious test on Muslims is inaccurate. Sharia is not a religion in the context of the First Amendment.”

— FRC email, December 2015

True. That’s probably about right, sorry.

“Those who practice Islam in its entirety, it’s not just a religion. It’s an economic system, it’s a judicial system, and it is a military – a military system. And it is – it has Shariah law that you’ve heard about and those things will tear and destroy the fabric of a democracy. So we have to be very clear about our laws and restrain those things that would harm the whole. We are a nation – let me be very clear about this. We are a nation that was founded on Judeo-Christian principles, that’s the foundation of our nation, not Islam, but the Judeo-Christian God.”

Washington Watch radio show, September 2014

Mostly true. He’s wrong as usual about the Founding Fathers, who were more deists than anything else, but this is standard fundie nonsense.

The rest about Islam is more or less 100% fact.

“The videos are titled ‘It Gets Better.’ They are aimed at persuading kids that although they’ll face struggles and perhaps bullying for ‘coming out’ as homosexual (or transgendered or some other perversion), life will get better. … It’s disgusting. And it’s part of a concerted effort to persuade kids that homosexuality is okay and actually to recruit them into that lifestyle.”

—FRC fundraising letter, August 2011

False. The It Gets Better videos are not part of a project to recruit kids into the gay lifestyle. I doubt if they are trying to tell kids homosexuality is ok either. These videos are aimed at gay teenagers who are distraught, depressed, and have a high attempted suicide rate, showing them that no matter how much they are suffering now, things will get better as they get older.

It’s probably not true that gays cannot turn straights gay, but many straight women have chosen a bisexual orientation, and many straight men have chosen to engage in bisexual behavior, with more and more doing this all the time. And while you can’t turn straight people gay, that doesn’t stop gay and bisexual men from trying.

I can’t count how many times they have tried to seduce me, and they’ve done it to a lot of my friends too. Actually bisexual men are far worse about this because I don’t have much to do with gay men, and bisexual men are everywhere running about in typical straight society. They can get pretty verbally coercive and cajoling about trying to get you to join in their faggy fun too. You need to stop talking to them because they will never stop trying to cajole you into their faggy fun and games.

“Those who understand the homosexual community – the activists – they’re very aggressive, they’re – everything they accuse us of they are in triplicate. They’re intolerant, they’re hateful, vile, they’re spiteful. …. To me, that is the height of hatred, to be silent when we know there are individuals that are engaged in activity, behavior, and an agenda that will destroy them and our nation.”

—Speaking to the Oak Initiative Summit, April 2011

True. This is actually true. Gay activists are out and out ugly. In fact, I am starting hate gay men (though I should not feel that way, I know) due to so many nasty and ugly interactions with them. I will continue to support them politically of course, but the less I deal with them otherwise, the better. Gay men nowadays are the worst SJW’s of them all, like SJW’s on steroids.

False. But I really doubt if homosexuality is going to destroy the country. That’s a bit much.

“While activists like to claim that pedophilia is a completely distinct orientation from homosexuality, evidence shows a disproportionate overlap between the two. … It is a homosexual problem.”

— FRC website, 2010

True. This is a bit vicious, but gay men are vastly overrepresented among pedophiles. 35% of child molestations are molestations of boys by men. Almost all of these men are homosexual pedophiles.

False. But saying that pedophilia is a gay problem is just wrong. And it’s vicious.

The marriage debate “is literally about the entire culture: it’s about the rule of law, it’s about the country, it’s about our future, it’s about redefining the curriculum in our schools, it’s about driving a wedge between parent and child, it’s about the loss of religious freedom, it’s about the inability to be who we are as a people.”

— The Janet Mefford Show, May 22, 2014

False. None of this is true, but I can see why these Christians are upset about it. They say it goes against their religion. Well, OK. So how do you expect them to act?

Part of the FRC’s strategy is to tout the false claim that gay men are more likely to sexually abuse children. The American Psychological Association, among others, has concluded that, “homosexual men are not more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual men are.”

True. Yes, and the APA is flat out wrong and is disregarding all of the evidence of psychological “science” on this issue. You wonder why people say the social science are not sciences. Well, look no further. Actually gay men are 12 times more likely to molest children than straight men are.

Nevertheless, most gay men are obviously not pedophiles.

As the show ended, Perkins stated, “If you look at the American College of Pediatricians, they say the research is overwhelming that homosexuality poses a danger to children.

False. I do not think it is fair to say that homosexuals pose a risk to our children. “Keep the faggots away from our kids!” seems like a mean and unnecessary thing to say.

In late 2010, Perkins held a webcast to discuss the dire consequences of allowing gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military. Dubious statistics from a poll commissioned by the FRC and the Center for Security Policy – which was named an anti-Muslim hate group in 2015 – were used during the webcast.

The webcast also mentioned the FRC report, Mission Compromised, written by retired Army Lt. Col. Robert Maginnis, the FRC’s senior fellow for national security. The report contended that allowing gay men and lesbians to serve openly would undermine morale and discipline and infringe on the religious freedom of military chaplains, who would be forced to accept homosexuality and would no longer be permitted to express their religious beliefs about it.

In addition, Maginnis predicted that heterosexual service members would be forced to take “sensitivity classes” that promote the “homosexual lifestyle.” He added: “Homosexual activists seek to force the U.S. military to embrace their radical views and sexual conduct, no matter the consequences for combat effectiveness.”

False. I believe that gays are now serving openly in the US military, and this has not affected combat effectiveness like the howlers predicted.

On Oct. 11, 2010, The Washington Post published a commentary by Perkins in which he repeated his argument that anti-bullying policies are not really intended to protect students. “Homosexual activist groups like GLSEN [Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network] … are exploiting these tragedies to push their agenda of demanding not only tolerance of homosexual individuals, but active affirmation of homosexual conduct and their efforts to redefine the family.”

Half true. Sadly, this is correct. Gay activists are indeed using the anti-bullying push to promote tolerance of homosexuals, to redefine the family, and worse, to promote out and out affirmation of homosexuality.

In fact, I would argue that it goes far beyond that, and that presently gay rights activists are promoting the open celebration of homosexuality. As a straight man, I fail to see why I should jump up and down and cheer for homosexuality. What’s so great about it? Who needs it? If it disappeared from the planet tomorrow, would that be a bad thing? It probably would not, as homosexuality offers zero benefits to society while causing a long list of societal problems.

However, obviously the anti-bullying movement is also designed to protect gay students.

In 2013, Perkins claimed on CNN that allowing gay people into the Boy Scouts would put children in danger of sexual assault. When pressed by the CNN host, Perkins again resorted to the FRC’s stock claim, as Perkins once put it, that pedophilia “is a homosexual problem.” “They [Boy Scouts] are trying to create an environment that is protective of children,” he said. “This [allowing LGBT Scouts and Scout leaders] doesn’t make it more protective. There is a disproportionate number of male on boy – when we get on pedophilia, male on boy is a higher incident rate of that.”

True. Well, of course letting gay men by scoutmasters puts boys at increased risk of molestation. Isn’t that obvious? There have been plenty of closeted gay men who were scoutmasters in the past, and they molested more than a few boys. Why do you think the Scouts had the ban in the first place? Because this was a well known long-standing problem in scouting! It was hard enough to try to sort out the closet cases among the scoutmasters, and the new policy was going to flood scouts with a lot more gay scoutmasters. Just what the Scouts need.

Despite gains made for LGBT equality, Perkins and the FRC have continued their anti-gay activities, including opposition to the proposed Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). According to Perkins, President Obama was working with the “totalitarian homosexual lobby” to sneak ENDA into law and should that happen, freedom of religion will be “destroyed.”

Opinion. Well, you know, this is just wrong. In general, I think that it should be illegal to discriminate against homosexuals in housing, employment, etc. simply for being homosexuals.

But we ought to be able to discriminate on other grounds. For instance, suppose a flamboyantly gay man applies at my store to be a customer clerk. My clientele is mostly straight men, a lot of whom are macho rednecks who will not take kindly to a screaming faggot asking, “Can I help you?” In this case, I might be able to hire a gay man if he was straight acting and promised to be quiet about his orientation so as not to scare off my clientele.

Suppose you have a restaurant. The hosts are people who greet customers and show them their seats. I have a right to turn down a flamboyant homosexual who wants to work as a host because he will scare off my diners. Instead, I would happy to employ him in a backroom somewhere, but he can’t be out there greeting diners.

Other than these minor cases though, I think gays should have the same employment and housing rights as members of racial groups or the two genders.

Perkins also has worked to keep America safe from Betty Crocker. In September 2013, he called for a boycott of the iconic brand because General Mills, which produces it, donated custom cakes to three LGBT couples in Minnesota who were married after the state legalized same-sex marriage a month earlier.

Opinion. Wow. Ugly.

In 2015, as the FRC tilted into anti-Muslim sentiment – especially with the hiring of retired Lt. General William “Jerry” Boykin – Perkins said that Islam is such a danger that Muslim Americans should not have the same religious freedoms as other citizens.

Opinion. Not sure what he means by this, but this is ugly.

After a man with radical Islamic beliefs fatally shot 49 people at an Orlando LGBT nightclub in June 2016, Perkins pointed the finger at the Obama Administration – claiming that the administration marginalized Christians and elevated Islam. “We have to deal with the underlying issue, which is an ideology that’s incompatible with American liberty,” Perkins wrote. “An ideology, tragically, that this administration has empowered through its public policy and private diplomacy.”

False. Yuck. The problem here is that this attack had nothing to with Islam. The attacker himself was a gay man, so he was not killing gay men out of hatred or bigotry. Instead, he had had an affair with a Puerto Rican gay man who he met at that bar, and that man had given him HIV. This was a Puerto Rican gay bar. So he decided to take revenge against Puerto Rican gay men in general by shooting up the bar.

In a 2016 FRC email to followers about the issue, Perkins warned: “If government can force the ‘normalization’ or even the celebration of something as universally unnatural as men using women’s restrooms and vice versa, then it can force the rest of its agenda on the American people very easily,” resulting in “social chaos” and the breakdown of all “sexual inhibition and morality.”

False. I doubt if that’s going to happen, but at 60, I would love to see sexual inhibition and morality break down a lot more. Perhaps I would get more dates.

During 2016, Perkins was part of the Republican committee as a delegate from Louisiana that created the GOP platform.

Perkins reportedly proposed a plank that supported conversion therapy for minors, though the wording, apparently revised from the original, does not specifically mention conversion therapy – a pseudoscientific practice that claims to change a person’s sexual orientation from gay to straight, and has been denounced by every major U.S. medical and mental health association. The platform committee ultimately passed a resolution affirming “the right of parents to determine the proper treatment or therapy, for their minor children.”

Opinion. Conversion therapy is a controversial issue, and in general it does not seem to work, although it is proven that sex surrogacy can help some lesbians to enjoy sex with men.

After Trump’s election, the FRC and Perkins were heavily involved in the formation of policy for the new administration. FRC Senior Fellow Kenneth Blackwell was named the head of domestic policy for the transition team. The FRC also took steps to ensure the new administration would undo President Obama’s work advancing LGBT equality – efforts that come after Perkins’ June 2016 claim that a Trump presidency would be better for the LGBT community than a Hillary Clinton presidency.

Opinion. This sounds bad.

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Is It Usual for a Man to Try to Turn a Man Gay Unless He Is a Gay Man?

Answered on Quora:

No, no straight man would do that. It’s not possible to change men’s sexual orientation past a certain age, but that doesn’t stop gay men from trying to recruit or convert straight men. Actually they are just trying to seduce them into homosexuality, but they use a lot of devious means. In quite a few cases, gay men insist that a straight man is really gay and is lying about being straight. Whether they actually believe this or if this is just some sort of a ruse is not known.

Gay men definitely go after straight men all the time. Now whether they know the guy is straight or if they think he’s gay or if they don’t know is not known. Very good-looking straight men are especially plagued by this.

I knew a couple of straight men who worked as male models, and they had to fend off gay men all the time. One told me it was like “mosquitoes in Alaska.” The constant approaches and refusal to take no for an answer was making both men quite homophobic. They kept saying they were going to hit the next gay man who came after them. I don’t think they did, but they sure were angry.

Also many predominantly straight men are somewhat bisexual in orientation or behavior. It’s not uncommon for basically straight men to try to seduce other straight men into gay sex. It’s happened to me more more times than I want to admit, not that I took them up on it! The thing you have to realize is that not all straight men are 100% straight, if you know what I mean. Wink wink. Incidental, occasional or especially experimental homosexuality is quite common in straight men. I’ve seen quite a bit of this nonsense.

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What Are Traps, and Are They Gay?

Answered on Quora.

A trap is either a pre-op transwoman or possibly a gay transvestite. You will go off with them and try to have sex with them as if you are having sex with a woman. If you are a straight man and you get halfway through and realize it’s really a man you are having sex with, you might flip. I don’t want to justify killing transsexuals, but I think this is probably the reason that some transwomen are murdered.

A friend of mine picked up a woman in a taxi. They went back to his place and she started giving him a blowjob. He reached down to her panties and he felt a penis and testicles. He completely flipped out. He was still freaking out when he contacted me later on messenger.

“Am I gay, Bob? Do you think I’m gay?” He kept asking me that. It was a pretty traumatizing experience.

Yes, traps are all gay. Drag queens are of course gay, and all transwomen looking to have sex with men were previously gay men.
A true trap (a true pre-op transwoman who doesn’t tell you her status) is indeed a trap because she trapped you into having sex with a man unawares.

As a word for transwomen in general though, I think it is a slur. It would apply to transwomen who try to have sex with straight men unawares though, that’s for sure.

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How Offensive It Is to Call a ‘Straight Guy’ ‘Gay’?

Answered on Quora.

Wanna get hit? I mean punched? Like, in the face? How do you think that would feel? Would you enjoy it? Because that might be exactly what happens to you if you call a straight man gay. For a lot of us straight men, that is the ultimate insult – there is no insult worse than that. Those are fighting words. Especially if you imply we are effeminate, and we do not feel we are effeminate at all.

Most straight men want to be seen as straight. The best way of doing that is by acting masculine. So most straight men have a lot invested in the idea that they act masculine or in some way straight. By calling them gay, you attack their masculinity, and men will often defend that with fists. Or guns.

Now if you were to assume we were bisexual, it might be a different story because at least you acknowledge that we like women. If you think we like guys too, no problem. But it’s a real insult to say we don’t like women. Like I said, those are fighting words.

I live in a barrio. This is the hood. It’s mostly Blacks and Mexicans around here. There are some effeminate men around here who most people call fags or faggots. I have no idea if these guys are gay or not, but they might be. They are not well-liked. When one of them comes into the local store to buy something, the clerks will mutter, “I hate faggots.” The clerks are extremely masculine Arab and Hispanic men. This is not a good neighborhood to be gay in. I think any gay man living here probably ought to move somewhere more friendly.

But the point is, men around here are expected to act very hard and tough. If you don’t act that way, it’s not good. So I even act that way myself.

And I would never call one of these regular men around here gay. He would probably demand that I take it back, and if I didn’t, he would hit me, punch me in the face. People get hit and punched all the time around here, and nothing happens to the punchers. It’s street justice. He might even try to kill me! These men around here so value their masculinity that they might try to kill you for saying that.

I am saying you better be careful about calling men gay or even assuming they are gay unless they are obviously effeminate. To a lot of men, even a suggestion that you think they might be gay is fighting words. Unless you are prepared for a fistfight, you better be very careful who you go around calling gay.

Just presume non-effeminate men are straight until proven otherwise!

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Why Are Most People Straight?

Answered on Quora.

Heterosexuality seems to be the default in human society. Homosexuality, at least the biological orientation, is rare – probably only 2–3% of the population get wired up this way. A recent study found that 94% of men are maximally attracted to the opposite. Most of them preferred women to men, often by large margins. Only 1% these men were purely bisexual, as pure 50–50 bisexuality is rare in humans.

Most homosexuality is biological, and only 3% of men and 1.5% of women get wired up that way. However, some women are lesbians by choice. A lot of people look down on women choosing to be lesbians though, for good reason, so this limits the number of women who make this choice.

In terms of bisexuality, 13% of young women in the West are now bisexual. Only 3% of men identify as bisexual. Bisexuality seems to be a fad among women in the West, and most of this bisexuality is by choice. With male bisexuals, once again it appears that they get wired up that way, and repeated studies in the lab have shown that male sexual orientation cannot be modified by any known technique by age 15, so sexual orientation is fixed in men at this age. I mean they cannot modify it even 10% in any direction.

What is not known is whether male sexual orientation can change before age 15 or can change in childhood. There seems to be evidence for some possibility of change in childhood and puberty, but most men’s sexual orientation matches up well with what they were attracted to already as children.

Bisexual behavior in men, not orientation, seems to be on the increase lately by my observation. Here in the West, 95% of men identify as heterosexual on surveys, and most do not wish to engage in gay sex for many reasons. First, most of these men (59%) have no attraction to other men. Of those straight men who do have some attraction to men, usually it is only at a low level.

Many of these men regard gay sex as sickening, repulsive, disgusting, etc. I have talked to several straight men who told me that if offered the choice between getting shot and having gay sex, they would choose the bullet.

And many men who have some attraction to men do not wish to act on these thoughts because male bisexual behavior by choice is still very much looked down upon in heterosexual society. Most of their friends and quite a few straight women would be most displeased with them if they started having recreational sex with men. In addition, many straight men are masculine, and they regard homosexual behavior as very unmasculine. Bisexual behavior in women has much better societal support than bisexual behavior in men.

Not only is straight male society hostile to recreational gay sex, but it is very hostile to any behavior that appears homosexual. Straight men are under a lot of pressure not to walk, talk, move, sit, and adopt mannerisms that are effeminate because that is associated with gay men.

Most straight men regard it as an extreme insult to have someone say they are gay, so they go to great lengths not to appear that way. Even wimpy or soft behaviors are looked down upon in straight society, and those are not even gay behaviors. Many women will look down on or be hostile to a man who seems wimpy or even to one who seems just soft and gentle.

So if you want to know why so many straight men strut around like they are ultramasculine he-men, there’s your answer. They are going to great lengths to appear masculine and not to appear gay.

And yes, straight women are as hostile to male bisexuality as straight men are, if not worse.

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Is There a Sexual Identity Where a Person Wishes to be Lesbian/Gay, yet Isn’t Attracted to the Same Sex? I Am Confused about My Sexual Orientation and Am Trying to Find a Possibility for Me, as I Don’t Seem to Be Lesbian, yet Want to Be.

Answered on Quora.

Yes, it’s called heterosexual. There are many cases in the literature about gay men who want to be straight but are not attracted to women. Many have gone to useless therapy to try to cure their homosexuality, except there is no cure for it.

We also see many gay men, often gay boys on here, who seem to be clearly gay but are panicking and want desperately to be straight. Some are looking at straight porn in an effort to cure themselves. I am not sure how well that is going to work out as lab studies have proven that male sexual orientation is fixed by age 15. After that age, at heterosexual attraction cannot be increased and homosexual attraction cannot be increased. Men are stuck at whatever orientation they are.

There is a fascinating case in the literature I read in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. It involved a very straight man in college who desperately wanted to be gay. He very much disliked women for some reason or other and wanted nothing to do with them. However his erotic orientation was completely towards women. He hung out mostly with gay men. He had been trying to get interested in men sexually for quite some time and was having no luck at all. He presented for therapy desperate to change from straight to gay and exasperated that he could not do so.

This seems to be what is going on with the person above.

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Can You Be Androgynous yet Be Heterosexual/Straight?

Answered on Quora.

The best definition of an androgynous man is a man who has strong masculine and strong feminine characteristics going at the same time. Remember glam rock back in the 1970’s? Many of those male rockers were quite androgynous, and most of them were very heterosexual or at least leaned straight.

Another definition of androgynous means a man who looks and acts so much like a woman that you can’t tell if he is a man or a woman. Or the opposite in a woman. Almost all if not all such cases of extremely feminine men who appear to be women and extremely masculine women who seem to be men that I have studied are in fact homosexuals. In fact they are very gay.

Now if you include men like Prince as androgynes, there are indeed some straight men like this, as Prince was completely heterosexual.
Honestly we straight men had a lot more leeway in terms of true androgyny back in the 70’s. A straight man could wear scarves, velvet pants, silk shirts, short kimonos, smoking jackets, tight jeans, dancing shoes, and four inch blue platform heels without most people suggesting you were gay. People would just say you were “styling it.” You can act a lot softer, gentler, or more androgynous. You could have a strong feminine side, especially if you matched it with a strong masculine side.

Back then, people were assumed straight until proven otherwise, and there were not many out gays anyways. Accusing a man of being gay was a very serious matter, as this was seen as a horrible insult if he was straight. So most men were simply assumed, correctly, to be straight until proven otherwise. If you wanted to accuse a man of being gay, you had better have had some pretty damn good evidence to back it up.

I am actually nostalgic for those days. I had so much more freedom back then in terms of both clothing and behavior.

Now that gays are so out, we straight men can no longer wear those wild clothes I talked about above nor can we act the way I did back then. If I tried to wear any of that stuff now that I wore back then, people would automatically assume that I was gay or bi. If I told them I was straight, no one would believe me, and they would all accuse me of lying. Compared to back then, acceptable behavior and garb for straight men has become dramatically restricted.

It’s not been a positive change. We have gone backwards in a huge way.

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