Category Archives: Psychotherapy

Destroying Many Myths about Teenage Girl-Adult Man Relationships

Women always want the best.

– Oscar Wilde

I would add teenage girls to that. Women and teenage girls always want the best.

First of all, I would like to point out that one of the main drivers of Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria has been feminist therapists exactly like this woman.

A teenage girl is with an older man. People end the relationship and everyone starts screaming about how she got abused and molested and damaged and ruined and how now she has to go a therapist now get over her being a victim of “child molestation.” The girl is typically utterly baffled and doesn’t feel 1% harmed by the relationship which she probably started herself anyway.

They ship her off to the feminist therapist who drills it into her head endlessly about how she was a victim of “child molestation,” about how she is a “child,” presumably the same thing as what are known as little girls, and how if she doesn’t “recover from the damage” she will be scarred and crippled for the rest of her life.

At first the girl thinks this is insane and stupid and probably wants to slap the therapist. But after a while, the therapist brainwashes her very well. Now the girl is going on and on about how she got molested, abused, raped, damaged and potentially ruined. What was formerly probably the peak experience of her young life is now regarded as a horrorshow of nightmarish abuse. She starts to develop a number of mental symptoms due to all the “abuse” she got. She was quite sane before. She was sane before and now she’s crazy! Iatrogenic therapist-induced mental disorder. Way to go feminists! Instead of making crazy people sane, you’re doing the opposite. You’re making sane people nuts. Good job! You want a medal for that?

Rebecca Patrick-Howard:

“On another note, how can you possibly “groom” a teenage girl? You can only groom children, and teenage girls are not children.”

Children, teenage girls, and grown women can ALL be “groomed.” Grooming occurs when a power figure (teacher, parent, dominant partner in the relationship) deliberately establishes an emotional connection and relationship with another person in order to exhibit control and to lower their inhibitions, usually for the purpose of exploitation or abuse.

Little by little, a seemingly healthy relationship becomes darker as the person is isolated from their family and friends, suffers mental and physical abuse-and sometimes sexual, becomes mentally and physically dependent upon the other person, and begins suffering from self-esteem issues and other behavioral and mental health problems.

Battered women are “groomed” every day. Just ask the formerly confident, attractive, independent woman who, after years of mental and physical abuse, finds herself kowtowing to their partner’s every wish and demand, losing her autonomy, and finding herself mentally unable to leave the relationship.

Women and teenagers are groomed in a different way. They’re taught to sit quietly without asking questions, to immediately respond to any text or phone call, to put their own needs and desires aside to focus on what their partner wants, to dress and behave in public the way the other person wants, to give in to sexual desires that make make them uncomfortable, to respond to things in a manner in which they are uncomfortable. They’re groomed to do these things in the beginning by being rewarded, just like a dog is rewarded for treats. And later, when they’re not complacent, they’re punished.

Certain women are targeted. Perhaps they appear vulnerable or weak. Or maybe they’re just young. They learn to gain the other person’s trust. They find their needs being met. Then the relationship becomes sexualized. From there, control is maintained. At that point, they’re often so entangled within the relationship that it’s difficult to get out.

If you’d like, I can provide data, research, case studies, and message boards where you can read many experiences from women and teenagers who have been “groomed.” From women and teenagers who have escaped abusive relationships and even sex trafficking situations.

“She probably seduced him. That’s how this stuff usually goes.”

I would like to see citations for peer-reviewed studies that show that the “most men having sex with teenage girls are doing it because the girls seduced them” and that “Also in almost all cases it is consensual”. Because I can tell you, as a woman and former teenage girl, that’s not been MY experience. As a family therapist, that certainly goes against the studies I’ve seen and read – not to mention the experience I’ve had with dozens of my young clients.

Regardless, a 13-year-old is a child. No matter how “mature” they appear, no matter if they’ve started menses or not, no matter if they have the body and vocabulary of a 20-year-old-they’re are NOT a woman. Either legally or emotionally.

Do you have a daughter?

I don’t have one, but if your daughter is a teenage girl, I bet she is pretty angry about the way you are trying to “protect” her from a harmless thing she doesn’t even want to be protected from in the first place! From her point of view, you’re annoying and in the way, big time.

In every case I heard about personally, the girl seduced the man. In all the cases I have read about on the Net, the girl went after the man. Teenage girls like men, you know. They mostly like boys, but there’s definitely a fair number of them who like men too, usually the better looking ones.

And underage teenage girls did this too me more times than I can count when I was having sex with them from ages 18-21 and then later when all relationships were platonic. I never sought out underage girls even as a young man when I was dating them. I didn’t have to. I just sat back and waited for them to come to me. They approached me or mutual friends said the girl wanted to go out with me. “Hey Bob, do you want to go out with Clarissa (14 year old girl)? She wants to go out with you.”

And I certainly never sought them out as “easy lays,” mostly because they aren’t. Teenage girls are not easy targets. It is actually quite difficult to date them if you are an adult. If we lowered the age of consent right now, it would be murderously difficult for me to date a jailbait. I’m too old for them, and they’re too hard to get anyway.

I have never in my life heard of men seeking out teenage girls as “easy targets.” Why would anyone do that? Girls like men enough that if you are into teenage girls and you are goodlooking and have good Game, all you have to do is sit back and wait for them to come to you, or at least make the first signals.

I have never in my life heard of a man who “could not get a woman his own age,” so he went after teenage girls. It boggles my mind that women and feminists actually believe this ludicrous notion. It doesn’t work that way! If you can’t get a woman your own age, of course you cannot get a teenage girl because they are far harder to date than grown women your own age.

I am 59 years old and although somehow I do date attractive young women in their legal teens through 20’s (against all odds and to my own astonishment), I must say that it is horribly difficult. And when I have to deal with young women in my regular doings around town, most of them look at me like, “Get the Hell away from me, creep!” It was never like that before. It was the opposite. Obviously I am too old for them. This is 100% due to age and 0% due to anything else. Even if it were legal, dating teenage girls would be even harder for me than young women because honestly they harder to get if you are older. The younger the female, the harder it is to get her if you are an older man.

For one thing, teenage girls are much pickier than women. In every case I have known personally, the girls seduced the men and the men were basically studs, players, playboys, womanizers, or whatever you want to call them. These were good-looking men with great Game who did great with women. Even in the cases I read about in the paper, the girls seem to be targeting the “Alphas.”

I have talked to teenage girls about this, and they told me, “We are not really into older men that much. But if we are at all, we only want the best, the cream of the crop.” Teenage girls are boy-crazy, and they will date all sorts of teenage boys. You don’t have to be an Alpha at that age. Many teenage girls have Beta or even Omega boyfriends. They are not so selective about boys their age. But once you start getting above the boys into the men, teenage girls get far pickier.

Bottom line is as far as I can tell, Beta and especially Omega men cannot even hope to get a teenage girl. Those girls only want the ~20% best men in your age group.

Look at cases in the paper. How many times have you heard of teenage girls pursuing movie directors (Roman Polanski repeatedly), rock stars (Bowie, Steve Tyler, Jimmy Page and surely many others, rich men (Trump, Jeffrey Epstein), teachers (strong authority figure with a good job and better than average smarts), writers (JD Salinger). See? They make a beeline for the best men.

Which has exactly been my experience. There are men out there who are attractive to most of the women. Call them the Alphas. Typically there are a number of women who would gladly date these men. These are the men that “all the women want.” Well, guess what sort of men teenage girls like? Exactly that type. Girls want the same cream of the crop men that all the women want. Girls and women are not all that different when it comes to sex. They all want the same thing.

Why on Earth would you get involved with a man if it wasn’t consensual? If it’s not consensual then it’s rape. If it was rape, why didn’t you report it to the police? Color me baffled. You say in your practice you have met many teenage girls who were in nonconsensual relationships with men. Leaving the family aside (where coerced sex with minors is very common) how many girls get into nonconsensual relationships with men? Why would anyone do that? Are you saying that all these girls were raped? That every time they had sex, it was a rape? That’s what nonconsensual means. Rape. If all these girls got raped, why didn’t they report it to the police?

If most of these cases are really rapes and not consensual, why doesn’t LE file rape charges against the men? Instead it’s usually some statutory type charge that merely says his only crime was having sex with a female in some restricted, off-limits age range.

I’ve never heard a typical older man-teenage girl relationship that was not 100% consensual. If it’s not consensual, why would she be there in the first place. Teenage girls are pretty damn smart. You can say that kids don’t have the ability to consent because they are unclear on the concept in the first place. But to conflate the lack of agency of little girls with the wariness,  worldliness and sophistication and argue that somehow teenage girls can’t figure out what consent means is nuts. Of course they know what it means. Only kids don’t know, and teenage girls aren’t kids. Their neither children nor adults. We might as call them girl-women. I know them very well. They are far smarter, wiser and sensible about this stuff than most people think.

Every case I read about in the paper appears to be consensual, especially long-term relationships. How many times have you read that the girl refuses to testify against the man because she loves him, thinks he did nothing wrong or regards the relationship as consensual.?

I have read that so many times that I can’t count it. She often pleads with the court to release him, saying she hasn’t been harmed in the slightest. The court disregards that fact that this was a crime involving two people where there somehow was no victim and heaves the guy into prison and throws away the key. In fact, so many teenage girls refer to testify in these cases that it is almost epidemic or expected. The only reason the men ever go down is because someone else reported the case. The girl almost never reports the case. Why would she? She’s doing what she wants to do.

This non-testimony is such an epidemic that many states had to dig out their laws and make new laws and rules so that the testimony of the victim was not even required for a conviction. They had to throw out proof of harm because most of these teenage girl fake-victims will swear on a stack of Bibles that they were not harmed at all.

I would say that the one group that is probably most angry at all about this Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria is the girls themselves. Quite a few of them want to get with hot men, but every time they nab one of their dream men, people like you grab her beloved boyfriend and throw him in prison. Hell, the “victims” themselves probably hate this mass hysteria more than anyone else. Most of the “victims” probably hate the law that is supposedly “protecting them.” Isn’t that rather idiotic?

I still don’t believe a woman can be groomed. The author says grooming occurs whenever there is a power discrepancy. Does she realize how often there is a power discrepancy between adult men  and adult female sexual partners? Does the author think it should be illegal to “groom” women? Would she propose an anti-grooming law for women victims of grooming?

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Filed under Crime, Feminism, Gender Studies, Girls, Heterosexuality, Jailbait, Law enforcement, Man World, Mass Hysterias, Pedophile Mass Hysteria, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Romantic Relationships, Sane Pro-Woman, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, Women

What’s with All the Rape and Sex Crimes?

You have to go through a regional paper that segregates articles by theme to actually realize the extent of rape-type sexual offenses, including rape and murder.

Child molestation is a whole other ball of wax, and it’s complicated by the drooling, psychotic autism of calling adults who have sex with teenagers pedophiles and child molesters, but I am absolutely stunned at the number of men who are having sex with actual children, like girls 12-under. And a surprising number of them involve violence too. Are all these guys pedophiles?

Pedophiles are only one of the four types of child molesters.

80-93% of child molesters are non-pedophiles. They’re just criminals. They’re not into girls any more than any other guy. They do this because these are aggressive, manipulative, amoral, probably somewhat sociopathic men who take advantage of young girls due to the fact that they are an easy target. Most of this is familial. On Indian reservations in Canada where it is estimated that 100% of girls are molested, most of the molesting is familial. It’s Daddy or Uncle or Grandpa or whoever.

The others are familial, opportunistic, trysexual and psychopathic.

I won’t deal with the first three right now.

Psychopathic child molesters differ from pedophilic ones in that they have no preference for prepubescent girls. Their sexual orientation age-wise is as normal as any other man’s: They are maximallly attracted to females age 16-up, and progressively less attracted as age goes down. Psychopathic child molesters molest girls because they have no morals, and they have a “screw anything that moves” attitude. A girl, a woman, what differenced does it make? All potential targets. Sure, he doesn’t prefer girls, but they will do in a pinch.

The problem with automatically treating all child molesters as psychologically disordered and having a paraphilia is that most of them are probably neither. They’re not nuts in any way. They’re just criminals. If they don’t prefer girls for sex more than any other man, there’s no sexual disorder to treat.

“Screw anything that moves” is not a sexual disorder. “Take advantage of naive daughters and nephews” is not a sexual disorder. “No morals” is not a sexual disorder. “Manipulative scumbag” is not as sexual disorder. My understanding is that most of these guys get labeled pedophiles and thrown in to pedophile treatment programs. It’s really dubious how many of them get helped by these programs especially when there’s nothing much to fix. Worse many them get labeled “mentally disordered sex offenders.” That means they have a mental disorder, in this case a sexual disorder. See any sexual disorders above? Neither do I.

Obviously true fixated pedophiles need to be in a program. Even out of incarceration, they should probably be in regular therapy to keep them from offending or re-offending.

But when a man’s problem is not that he’s a pedophile but that he’s a psychopathic monster, how are these pedophile treatment programs supposed to help him? How are they supposed to help Weird Uncle who prefers women but goes after girls in a sleazy pinch? They can’t.

I would wager that most of these men, if they have any disorder at all, have an impulse control disorder. That’s not in the DSM yet. But just you wait. It would be a bad idea to put Impulse Control Disorder into the DSM because we just labeled half the population crazy. Probably 50% of the population can’t control their impulses well.

Are there treatment programs that teach men how to control their impulses? No idea. Are there programs that aim to impart morals into a morally barren human? Probably, but how good is that going to work. How do you create something that was never there?

I am starting to wonder what the Hell is the matter with us men. I’ve never done anything like this, not even date rape. I don’t get the appeal. If she’s not willing, it’s no fun, right? If she doesn’t want to do it, shrug your shoulders and say, “Fine, I will sleep on the couch then.” Trust me, she will get up in the middle of the night and drag you back to her room. An abundance mindset is always helpful. I guess I have raped if you count the feminist daffynition of rape, but the feminists are so insane on this subject that they would put 50 million men in prison. The feminist definition of rape isn’t even rape. It’s not nothing. It’s just junk, like most anything a feminut says.

But this stuff below is the real deal. As much as I dislike feminists, I am starting to se why so many of them starting hating us men. We’re pretty hateable you know. Hell, I don’t even like men, and I’m a guy!

I’ve been dating some women around age 50. Nearly every single one of them had either been raped. And they had all had a man try to kill them. I figure by age 50, most women in the US have either been raped by a man or had a man try to kill them. That’s pretty sorry.

Ladies I would like to apologize on behalf of all men for the despicable behavior of my gender. It’s an outrage what we do to you. The rapes, the assaults, the beatings, the kidnappings, the imprisonment, the attempted murders and the murders. I can’t believe what you put up with from us. Sometimes I wonder why any of you like any of us anymore.

If you a law-abiding citizen who rarely if ever commits a crime that victimizes the innocent, or at least one who stays out of jail for more than 5-10 hours in their life, the background level of crime in society is absolutely stunning. Sure you’re likely to avoid being a victim of a serious crime, at least this year, but the sheer numbers of crimes occurring in normal everyday America is mind-blowing. And these are just sexual crimes, some of the worst of all.

If you start doing research on less serious but still victimizing crimes, the number of them occurring on any given day even in your area is out of this world. It’s hard to understand how many heedless fools there are out there who are not inhibited by the threat of imprisonment. And there’s a Hell of a lot of sick fucks out there. Incredible how many sickos are running around. It boggles the mind.

Keep in mind this is just this year and the year’s barely even getting started. And in just this one country with 4% of the world’s population. So multiply these cases by 25.

And fully 70% of the cases below that occurred in this year alone happened in only two states, North Carolina and Florida.

And then you think about this factoid that only 4% of rape cases ever result in incarceration and it’s even more shocking. So there’s 25X more of this stuff happening that perpetrators are getting away with.

Autopsy: New Mexico girl was raped and strangled on 10th birthday, had STD when she died

Jesus.

Couple charged in ‘rape-murder fantasy’ killing of girl, 14, prosecutors say

Wow, no words. Good Lord! Her own Mom was involved in the imprisonment, beating, torturing, drugging and raping of this girl. I’ve heard of Moms being driven batty by unruly teens, but isn’t this a bit extreme?

 

Florida man held girlfriend for 2 weeks, raped her and used pliers to rip her nails off

Another girlfriend rape, but this guy threw a lot of violence into the mix. This guy needs to get together with Pliers Bittaker.

Sex offender wearing electronic monitor accused of raping woman in NC

Darwin award.

Man accidentally confesses to rape during police job interview

Date rape. OK, you’re a jerk and an idiot. Enjoy your Darwin Award in jail. Perhaps you can tape it to the wall.

Woman stabs man who allegedly tried to rape her, escapes attack

Good for her, but what’s his problem? She stabbed the guy who was trying to rape her. Damn.

Brother of Panthers tight end Greg Olsen given $103,000 bond on rape charges

Hmmm, wait. He raped his own longterm girlfriend? How is that even possible?

Man accused of sexual assault in Burlington arrested

What the Hell is your problem?

Man allegedly pulled gun, attempted to sexually assault woman after she turned down grilled cheese

This one is actually funny. He’s a rapist and a stand-up comedian!

Burlington middle school teacher accused of statutory rape

This last one is the only one I feel sorry for. But she’s 45! And the boy was 15! Jesus. Anyway, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to that kid so far in his life and it looks like his teacher is teaching him a bit more than readin, writin and arithmetic, no?

All right. So what do we do with this silly woman who has an Impulse Control Disorder in the sense that’s not able to inhibit her desires or separate thoughts from actions. Not to mention heedless and foolhardy. This retarded society is probably going to give this cougar 5 years for her extracurricular tutoring of this fortunate young man. Then, our special needs society is going to make this dingbat woman register as a sex offender for the rest of her life when all her victim proabably said was, “Thanks Mom, I mean teacher.”

So what would I do? What do you do when there’s nothing to be done but throw up your hands.

Fire her. Pull her credential. Make it so she can never teach again. That ought to be good enough. If she can’t find a job, I suppose she can always become a cougar porn star. I recommend she specialize in the Mommy-son fantasy market.

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Filed under Amerindians, Canada, Corrections, Crime, Criminology, Florida, Gender Studies, Girls, Law enforcement, Man World, Mental Illness, New Mexico, North America, North Carolina, Northeast, Pedophilia, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Race/Ethnicity, Radical Feminists, Regional, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, South, USA, West

Resolved: It Should Be Legal For Teenage Minors to Have Sex with Each Other

It should not be illegal for teen minors to have sex with each other. Teen minor sexuality and childhood sex play are considered two different things.

Teen Minor Sexuality

In California, teens may not be arrested for having sex unless it is bad like forcible rape.

Childhood Sex Play

In my counseling practice, I hear stories of childhood sex play and even incest, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual, all the way to bisexual orgies, on a regular basis. Many of these cases would be called child molestation in our current parlance. However, that’s not what it is. Ages involved range from six to 15, both males and females. Females are just as likely to engage in childhood sex play as males.

Childhood sex play involves sex play involving children younger than age 13 as at least some of the partners. In some cases, teens aged 13-15 were involved with younger kids all the way down to age eight. Most people would call it child molesting, but I would not. Most minors are not capable of true child molestation. A kid can’t molest another kid. A lot of kids even up to 13-15 have no idea what they are doing and should not be held responsible. Female teens are just as likely as male teens to be involved in this. In fact, in the two cases I am aware of, the girls were 13 and 15, and the children were boys down to age 8. I do not believe either of these girls were child molesters ,and what went on was not child molesting. That doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, but in general this is not an LE matter.

This goes on all the time, and LE should not get involved. In the case of childhood sex play, children should be discouraged from doing this. If it doesn’t stop, they need to go to therapy. LE needs to butt out of this and let this be solved by families or at worst social services.

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Filed under California, Gender Studies, Law, Law enforcement, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Regional, Sex, USA, West

Is Psychiatry a Pseudoscience?

Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it!: I think Mr Lindsay would do well to read Crazy Like Us if he hasn’t already.

Is psychiatry a pseudoscience?

Yes and no. That is, the phenomena of mental illness are genuine, but their investigation is sorely lacking in rigor. This added to the fact that psychiatry is a business in the US and the Anglosphere more generally results in huge over-diagnosis, pathologizing difference, etc., and children are the easiest marks for this con.

As someone who works with people who have actual diagnosed DSM disorders on a regular basis, I definitely think that a lot of these things are real, and they are indeed disorders. We actually try very hard not to pathologize anything that could remotely be seen as normal conduct, and we cast a wide net for that phrase.

The people I deal with have Axis 1 disorders, and they are suffering from the most incredible pain and misery. Many of them are almost literally living in Hell. I lost one client to suicide. Further, the disorder often makes it very hard for them to function well in society. It’s not uncommon that I have clients who have been hospitalized, sometimes on multiple occasions.

Axis 2 is real too. Those are real disorders. I have known some people on Axis 2 (personality disorders), and trust me, they are not normal in any way, shape or form. Mostly they are making other people miserable, but the disorder is usually screwing up their own life in a big way too.

As far as psychiatry being a pseudoscience, well, I get people who are misdiagnosed all the time. I’m not allowed to give legal DSM diagnoses, but I tell them my opinion on what they have and how they are misdiagnosed. Often I get people diagnosed psychotic who are not psychotic at all.

Some of them are pretty crazy, but just because you feel really nuts does not mean you are psychotic. Psychosis is a loss of touch with reality. If you are not out of touch with reality, you are not psychotic. Psychosis is grossly misdiagnosed in the US. If you feel really crazy, you get diagnosed “psychotic.” It is just the field’s way of saying “this person is seriously crazy.” But seriously crazy is not the same thing as psychotic. You would not believe how nuts people can feel without being psychotic. Your world can get seriously weirded out when you are not even psychotic at all.

I also get people who are mis-prescribed all the time. Psychiatrists hand this stuff out like candy and they severely play down the side effects.

In short, yes it’s a real science, but we don’t have formal tests like lab tests or X-rays to actually make a perfect diagnosis. So we have to go on symptoms, and it can be quite hard to diagnose a mentally ill person correctly. I have dealt with people who had been diagnosed with 10-15 different disorders. There was no way that they currently had all of those conditions when I spoke to them. This person was extremely ill though, I would agree with that. Unbelievably ill.

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Filed under Health, Medicine, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Psychotic Disorders, Science

No, Pathological Narcissism Is Not OK

Even water can kill you if you drink too much of it, and at some point, the normal narcissism continuum that most of if not all humans are on gets to be too much of a good thing, and you are going into pathological narcissism. Usually this is heading towards Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something close to that.

Pathological narcissists are not acceptable. They are not ok. They are not all right. They don’t live longer than others. They’re not happier or healthier than others.

Instead of being ok, the truth is that they are simply ill. It’s not normal for a human being to be that way, as it clashes badly with smooth social and occupational functions. It’s a maladaptive disorder because it turns you into the biggest asshole on the planet, and understandably causes a lot of people to dislike you just about everywhere you go.

People with NPD are generally quite damaging. They tend to damage or harm most of the people they are in relationships with. Why? Because that’s just what they do. They can’t really do anything else. Of course they have no insight, and most are utterly incurable. The longer it goes on, the worse they get, and by the time they are in their 40’s or 50’s, almost all of them are completely hopeless and often profoundly ill cases.

As you might expect, therapy with NPD’s is typically a monumental waste of time and often quite unpleasant for the therapist to boot.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Therapy: A Pointless and Unpleasant Endeavor

Like everyone on Axis 2, the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder thinks they are fine. Obviously the problem is everybody else. They will just go through their whole life blaming other people. That’s how they ride.

They rarely if ever show up for therapy, and when they do, it is often at the behest of others who are forcing them into therapy because the narcissists is driving these people insane and ruining their lives. Once in therapy, the narcissist plays games, engages in a boatload of manipulation, does no work on themselves because after all there is nothing to be done, and often engages in a lot of ego and narcissistic games with the therapist, including insulting the therapist, thinking he is better than the therapist and telling him so, deciding that the therapist is a lousy therapist, etc.

If you tell them they are narcissists, will generally either reject the diagnosis, ignore it, blow it off with some humorous blustery remark, decide that psychiatry is a pseudoscience, or say, “So what? I like being this way.”

They might take it as an insult, but they usually will not react aggressively. Instead you will see a spark of recognition and alarm in their eyes. The narcissist is not an idiot. Many are highly intelligent and in fact, sadly it goes with the territory. At some level, most if not all narcissists now what is going on. The problems is they don’t care, or they like to be this way.

If you keep reminding the narcissist of what he is, he will stop being flippant about it and start getting aggressive. Expect dirty fighting, devious and crafty manipulation, nasty insults, or walking out of the room. Keep it up, and the narcissist will just end the relationship. The narcissist is not going to sit there and let you call him a narcissist all day. He’s too good for such degrading treatment. If he cannot do that, at some point, he will probably create a nuclear explosion of a fight and try to terrorize you into not bringing up the subject again.

Generally speaking, they are a complete waste of time in the office, therapy with them is often quite unpleasant, and nothing gets done anyway. It’s not uncommon for the therapist to simply fire the narcissist as client, informing him that nothing is getting done. This a relief to the narcissist, as now he has an excuse to quit the degrading therapy. Technically this is client abandonment and an ethics violation, but the decision is always mutual, and nothing was getting done anyway, so why prolong the pointless endeavor?

Theoretically, the narcissist can be cured. Since lions cannot change into tigers, all we can do with personality disorders is turn the bad side of a basic personality type into the good side of that type. The good side of Narcissistic Personality is Confident Personality. These people can be a bit much too, but they are healthy enough that they can function quite well especially in a hyper-competitive capitalist society like ours. The goal of therapy with an NPD is to turn them into a Confident Personality. But good luck with that.

There is so much more to talk about with narcissism and NPD, but let’s leave that for another day.

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Filed under Ethics, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

Can Gay Men Still Be Attracted to Women in Some Sort of Way?

I smash one more insane Cultural Left lie below.

The Cultural Left regularly states as one of its theorems that most if not all gay men get turned on by females on a regular basis. Why the Cultural Left wants to insist on this nonsense, I have no idea.

In general, the Cultural Left hates “generalizations.” They don’t want any laws or rules about anything. Or corollaries or theorems. Or well-supported conclusions. It’s scientific nihilism all the way.

We cannot “generalize” (which means form a conclusion by testing a hypothesis against the collected data) about anything on Earth. Nothing means anything. Or everything means nothing. Or nothing means everything. Or everything means everything. Or everything means anything. Or something. Or something. Or whatever. Or mumbo jumbo. Or bullshit.

Oh, and no labels! The Cultural Left hates labels because labels imply definitions and in the wild and woolly bonkers world of the insipid Cultural Left, definitions are generalizations, and generalized conclusions are bigotry. All generalizations are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, looksist, speciesist or just some generalized form of oppression by the dominant paradigm of whatever the beaten down subaltern of the day is.

If you notice, the asinine scientific nihilism of the Cultural Left is straight out of the social sciences, where notoriously nothing can ever be proven except whatever silly PC theory the social scientist wants to prove, typically with no evidence, while the obvious common sense wisdom of ages is all “scientifically disproven” by a bunch of fake social science studies and is at any rate waved away as racism, sexism, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, homophobia, transphobia or whatever whatever bla bla. Oppression Olympics.

My answer to this question on Quora:

Newsflash: Gay men don’t get turned on by women! Isn’t that shocking?
Most of the gay men posting below are simply lying. Endless studies in the lab have shown that the typical gay men reacts in the following way:

maximal attraction to males

minimal attraction to females

In fact, this is one of the most robust findings in social science! They’ve tested it so many times that no one wants to test it anymore because everyone knows how it comes out.

To put it another way, how many straight men are turned on by men? Most of them are not, and even those that are have quite low levels of attraction to men.
Hard bisexual men are not common. Most men lean hard one way or the other. Most bisexual men lean straight and usually hard straight. A much smaller percentage of bisexual men lean gay ,and many of those lean hard gay. Fully 87% of men with a bisexual orientation in the lab lean straight. The other 13% lean gay and those vary 2/3 leaning hard gay and 1/3 being significantly bisexual.

I have not the faintest idea why all these gay men below are falling all over themselves to lie that they get hard for women on any regular basis.

Is there some sort of shame in not being turned on by women? So you’re not turned on by women? So what? Or as I would say, lucky you, now you don’t have to be driven insane by them like we are!

If you asked a group of straight men on here if we ever get turned on by men, would they be falling all over each other to deliriously confess how they regularly get hard for Brad Pitt? These gay men trying to desperately to prove that they get hard for women strike me as self-haters. The implication being that a man who cannot get turned on by women is defective somehow. Sad.

I work as a psychological counselor. In the course of my counseling, I have many people who come in with problems that involve sexuality in some way. In these cases, I do a sexual orientation assessment of my male clients. Contrary to the nonsense you are reading below about “don’t believe in labels,” the truth is that labels are completely appropriate for men when it comes to sexual orientation.

That is because by no later than age 15, it has been proven in the lab that male sexual orientation is completely fixed. Not only can gay men not be turned straight (as proven endlessly in the lab), but, even more pessimistically than that, gay men cannot even be moved anywhere towards straight on the orientation scale. A 0-100 gay man cannot even become 10-90. A 20-80 gay man cannot become even a 30-70.

There is no data on whether straight men can turn gay, but if it works one way, it must work the other. In fact, there is one intriguing case in the literature of a miserable and hopelessly heterosexual male college student who hated women and desperately wanted to be gay. He spent most of his time hanging around gay men trying to turn gay. He told the clinician that he had tried everything he could think of to turn gay, and nothing had worked.

We men are simply up the creek as far as our orientation goes. We are whatever we got wired up to be, and that’s that.

The sexual orientation assessment simply assesses what the man was turned on by as a child and then up until age 15, as I don’t care what happened after that, as nothing could have happened anyway. All gay men told me that they were strongly attracted to males from puberty on, and some told me that they were into males even as early as childhood. Most of them reported no attraction to females during childhood, puberty and adolescence.

So far, all of my gay male clients have told me that in general:

  • They rarely look at women and check them out sexually, in most cases never do so. They’re checking out the guys, all guys, all the time.
  • Even more importantly, they never fantasize about sex with women. Like never, ever. All men, all the time.
  • Perhaps most importantly of all, they never think about women when they masturbate. Not even once, ever. It’s all men, all the time.

I have not yet had one gay man in my practice who had any significant attraction to women. Now that’s anecdotal, not scientific, but it ought to tell you something.

Some of the men above who showed no significant reaction to women had identified as 25-75 bisexuals to me on my scale, which is reasonably bisexual. A 25-75 man is maximally attracted to males and attracted to females at only half that rate. However, my 25-75’s practically speaking had no real attraction to women at all. So you see gay men often identify themselves as much more bisexual than they are.

Furthermore, in interviews with women married to closeted gay men, the wives say that their husbands displayed no interest at all in their bodies, even when they were naked. The husbands were often fascinated with male bodies, some claiming to be sports fans and collecting bodybuilder or other magazines that showcase jacked handsome men. They report that their husbands showed a particular aversion to cunnilingus.

The husbands often preferred sex from the rear position, and some liked anal sex a bit too much, if you catch my drift. Others reported that the husband showed little or no interest in sex. Reports of longterm impotence among closeted gay husbands are common. Girlfriends have told me that they have disrobed partially or fully in front of gay or suspected gay men, and the gay men did not look at them for one second and even acted like nothing in the room had changed!

This has actually been born out in the lab, as until recently all studies of so called “bisexual” men found that they tested in the lab exactly the same way as gay men:

  • maximally to men
  • minimally to women

The researchers concluded that “bisexual” men were simply gay men who cannot accept being gay due to stigma or prejudice, so they identify as bisexual because that is more acceptable to society.

This scenario continues to this day, as males in their late teens on through their 20’s identify at fairly high rates as “bisexual.” A common scenario is young men in their 20’s identifying as “bisexual” while they have wives or girlfriends. Yet these men spend most of their free time in gay bars and clubs. If you follow these men to age 30, you will find out that nearly of them have come fully out as gay by then. It simply took them all through their 20’s to accept that they were gay. Sad.

However a study was recently reported where researchers found a group of “bisexual” men who were actually bisexual in that they reacted significantly to both men and women in the lab. So it appears that they do exist. However, pure bisexual men or 50-50’s seem to be quite rare. Surveys show that only 1% of men can be classified this way.

Men are leaners. We either lean straight or we lean gay, often pretty hard one way or the other. This is even true of bisexual men. I do not know why this is, but that is what the research shows us.

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Filed under Cultural Marxists, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Left, Man World, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Science, Scum, Sex

Repost: How Common Is Sex among Siblings among Teenagers and Young Adults?

One of the more shocking posts to have appeared on this site is this post about incest among siblings. It is getting reposted around a lot these days, so I thought I would repost it for those of you who might have missed it the first time. I honestly think this behavior is much more common than realized. I also think that in most cases is not pathological, as it is quite consensual, and even where it is abusive, I would recommend therapy instead of incarceration for the abuser, typically a teenage boy molesting his sister or female cousins. 

Sammy writes:

“Brothers and sisters fuck quite a bit, as teenagers…”

Really? Brothers and sisters who grew up together from day one in the same household? How do you know of this? I’ve heard of it happening between step brothers and sisters, but never heard of it happening between actual “blood” brothers and sisters who both share the same parents and grew up in the same household. Percentage-wise, how often would you say the latter happens (and what are you basing this on)?

Unfortunately a lot of this falls under the category of “child molestation,” but it usually isn’t. A lot of teenage boys have sex with their vulnerable younger sisters. With the sisters, it is often more or less consensual. Childhood sex play often involves brothers, sisters, cousins, and their friends. The age ranges of childhood sex play can range from six all the way up to 15 for both sexes, and it is possible that all ages can be involved at the same time. For instance, scenes, often with brothers, sisters and cousins, can occur with groups where the age ranges from 8 all the way up to 15 and can include both homosexual (often lesbian) and heterosexual conduct.

Not only do brothers and sisters have sexual experiences particularly in adolescence, but sisters have a lot more sex with each other than you could possibly imagine. Young teenage sisters around the ages of 13-15 who are just discovering the joys of masturbation (as almost all teenage girls are nowadays at a very early age, typically 13) have lesbian sex with each other, mutually masturbate each other, etc. I would say that maybe 5-10% of sisters in this age group engage in this activity. All of the cases I saw involved girls with a predominantly heterosexual orientation. So most sisters who are doing this are not lesbians. Instead they are straight or possibly bisexual.

I discovered a lot of this activity when looking through forums where younger teenage girls were discussing sexual issues such as onset of first pubic hair and sexarche, onset and frequency of masturbation, and some other sexual things. It is from these forums that I derive my 5-10% figure because ~5-10% of the girls on the forums admitted to having sex with their sisters. The age range for this sister-sister sex was 13-15.

Sources: I work as a counselor, and I hear stories of childhood sex play from clients constantly.

Teenage boys having sex with their younger sisters is extremely common as we can see from recent famous cases. It is typically brushed under the carpet, as it possibly ought to be.

Arrest in these circumstances is just wrong, and in California, other than rape, all sex between juveniles of all ages is legal. You simply cannot arrest two kids for doing consensual sexual things with each other. If there is a serious age discrepancy with a teenager (usually a boy and typically a brother) doing sexual things with a young child (usually a girl and typically a sister), the teenager must be told that this is unacceptable and must stop, and they should have to undergo counseling.

Generally this sort of thing is handled by Social Services, social workers and therapists in California and not law enforcement, which is how it ought to be. In extreme cases of teenage boys serially molesting young girls, they may be remanded to the juvenile justice system, but they may not be tried in the adult system. At any rate, clinically this behavior means little as according to the DSM, pedophilia cannot be diagnosed in people age 16 or younger.

There are videos on the Internet of brothers having sex with their sisters or at least of people claiming to be brothers having sex with sisters. I have no idea how old they were, but they appeared to be older teenagers. I felt that they were genuine.

To give you an example of how common this activity can be at least in certain circumstances, in Egypt, due to a housing crisis, young people are not able to move out of the parental home, so young adults of the same family are often living under the same roof. Not only that, but living conditions are so overcrowded that these late teens and  young adults are often sleeping in close quarters in living rooms, etc.

A recent article in the US press noted that there is an extremely high level of sexual activity among brothers and sisters occurring in urban Egypt in these circumstances. The brothers and sisters engaging in this activity were ~16-23. Egyptian society didn’t seem to be interested in doing anything about it. I assume that this behavior was either denied, brushed under the carpet or dealt with in the family, probably by silence and willful ignorance. Law enforcement was not getting involved.

6 Comments

Filed under Africa, Crime, Egypt, Heterosexuality, Incest, Law, Law enforcement, North Africa, Pedophilia, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Regional, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology

Can Gay Men Still Be Attracted to Women in Some Sort of Way?

I smash one more insane Cultural Left lie below.

The Cultural Left regularly states as one of its theorems that most if not all gay men get turned on by females on a regular basis. Why the Cultural Left wants to insist on this nonsense, I have no idea.

In general, the Cultural Left hates “generalizations.” They don’t want any laws or rules about anything. Or corollaries or theorems. Or well-supported conclusions. It’s scientific nihilism all the way.

We cannot “generalize” (which means form a conclusion by testing a hypothesis against the collected data) about anything on Earth. Nothing means anything. Or everything means nothing. Or nothing means everything. Or everything means everything. Or everything means anything. Or something. Or something. Or whatever. Or mumbo jumbo. Or bullshit.

Oh, and no labels! The Cultural Left hates labels because labels imply definitions and in the wild and woolly bonkers world of the insipid Cultural Left, definitions are generalizations, and generalized conclusions are bigotry. All generalizations are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, looksist, speciesist or just some generalized form of oppression by the dominant paradigm of whatever the beaten down subaltern of the day is.

If you notice, the asinine scientific nihilism of the Cultural Left is straight out of the social sciences, where notoriously nothing can ever be proven except whatever silly PC theory the social scientist wants to prove, typically with no evidence, while the obvious common sense wisdom of ages is all “scientifically disproven” by a bunch of fake social science studies and is at any rate waved away as racism, sexism, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, homophobia, transphobia or whatever whatever bla bla. Oppression Olympics.

My answer to this question on Quora:

Newsflash: Gay men don’t get turned on by women! Isn’t that shocking?
Most of the gay men posting below are simply lying. Endless studies in the lab have shown that the typical gay men reacts in the following way:

maximal attraction to males

minimal attraction to females

In fact, this is one of the most robust findings in social science! They’ve tested it so many times that no one wants to test it anymore because everyone knows how it comes out.

To put it another way, how many straight men are turned on by men? Most of them are not, and even those that are have quite low levels of attraction to men.
Hard bisexual men are not common. Most men lean hard one way or the other. Most bisexual men lean straight and usually hard straight. A much smaller percentage of bisexual men lean gay ,and many of those lean hard gay. Fully 87% of men with a bisexual orientation in the lab lean straight. The other 13% lean gay and those vary 2/3 leaning hard gay and 1/3 being significantly bisexual.

I have not the faintest idea why all these gay men below are falling all over themselves to lie that they get hard for women on any regular basis.

Is there some sort of shame in not being turned on by women? So you’re not turned on by women? So what? Or as I would say, lucky you, now you don’t have to be driven insane by them like we are!

If you asked a group of straight men on here if we ever get turned on by men, would they be falling all over each other to deliriously confess how they regularly get hard for Brad Pitt? These gay men trying to desperately to prove that they get hard for women strike me as self-haters. The implication being that a man who cannot get turned on by women is defective somehow. Sad.

I work as a psychological counselor. In the course of my counseling, I have many people who come in with problems that involve sexuality in some way. In these cases, I do a sexual orientation assessment of my male clients. Contrary to the nonsense you are reading below about “don’t believe in labels,” the truth is that labels are completely appropriate for men when it comes to sexual orientation.

That is because by no later than age 15, it has been proven in the lab that male sexual orientation is completely fixed. Not only can gay men not be turned straight (as proven endlessly in the lab), but, even more pessimistically than that, gay men cannot even be moved anywhere towards straight on the orientation scale. A 0-100 gay man cannot even become 10-90. A 20-80 gay man cannot become even a 30-70.

There is no data on whether straight men can turn gay, but if it works one way, it must work the other. In fact, there is one intriguing case in the literature of a miserable and hopelessly heterosexual male college student who hated women and desperately wanted to be gay. He spent most of his time hanging around gay men trying to turn gay. He told the clinician that he had tried everything he could think of to turn gay, and nothing had worked.

We men are simply up the creek as far as our orientation goes. We are whatever we got wired up to be, and that’s that.

The sexual orientation assessment simply assesses what the man was turned on by as a child and then up until age 15, as I don’t care what happened after that, as nothing could have happened anyway. All gay men told me that they were strongly attracted to males from puberty on, and some told me that they were into males even as early as childhood. Most of them reported no attraction to females during childhood, puberty and adolescence.

So far, all of my gay male clients have told me that in general:

  • They rarely look at women and check them out sexually, in most cases never do so. They’re checking out the guys, all guys, all the time.
  • Even more importantly, they never fantasize about sex with women. Like never, ever. All men, all the time.
  • Perhaps most importantly of all, they never think about women when they masturbate. Not even once, ever. It’s all men, all the time.

I have not yet had one gay man in my practice who had any significant attraction to women. Now that’s anecdotal, not scientific, but it ought to tell you something.

Some of the men above who showed no significant reaction to women had identified as 25-75 bisexuals to me on my scale, which is reasonably bisexual. A 25-75 man is maximally attracted to males and attracted to females at only half that rate. However, my 25-75’s practically speaking had no real attraction to women at all. So you see gay men often identify themselves as much more bisexual than they are.

Furthermore, in interviews with women married to closeted gay men, the wives say that their husbands displayed no interest at all in their bodies, even when they were naked. The husbands were often fascinated with male bodies, some claiming to be sports fans and collecting bodybuilder or other magazines that showcase jacked handsome men. They report that their husbands showed a particular aversion to cunnilingus.

The husbands often preferred sex from the rear position, and some liked anal sex a bit too much, if you catch my drift. Others reported that the husband showed little or no interest in sex. Reports of longterm impotence among closeted gay husbands are common. Girlfriends have told me that they have disrobed partially or fully in front of gay or suspected gay men, and the gay men did not look at them for one second and even acted like nothing in the room had changed!

This has actually been born out in the lab, as until recently all studies of so called “bisexual” men found that they tested in the lab exactly the same way as gay men:

  • maximally to men
  • minimally to women

The researchers concluded that “bisexual” men were simply gay men who cannot accept being gay due to stigma or prejudice, so they identify as bisexual because that is more acceptable to society.

This scenario continues to this day, as males in their late teens on through their 20’s identify at fairly high rates as “bisexual.” A common scenario is young men in their 20’s identifying as “bisexual” while they have wives or girlfriends. Yet these men spend most of their free time in gay bars and clubs. If you follow these men to age 30, you will find out that nearly of them have come fully out as gay by then. It simply took them all through their 20’s to accept that they were gay. Sad.

However a study was recently reported where researchers found a group of “bisexual” men who were actually bisexual in that they reacted significantly to both men and women in the lab. So it appears that they do exist. However, pure bisexual men or 50-50’s seem to be quite rare. Surveys show that only 1% of men can be classified this way.

Men are leaners. We either lean straight or we lean gay, often pretty hard one way or the other. This is even true of bisexual men. I do not know why this is, but that is what the research shows us.

2 Comments

Filed under Cultural Marxists, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Left, Man World, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Ridiculousness, Science, Scum, Sex

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Sociopathy/Psychopathy

Whitedawg: I was kind of wondering, commenting about the personality traits/qualities of regular everyday people or elected officials, more so than Teddy. There is little doubt Ted crossed a lot of lines.

But it’s not so evident to most that President-elect Trump may have some serious problems that can influence his decision making and tweeting. Many people know non-serial killing psychopaths, sociopaths, and malignant narcissists. And some of those traits are looked at as positive.

I am not sure how many non-pathological Malignant Narcissists there are out there.

George W. Bush was said to be sociopathic and the same was said about LBJ. Hitler was clearly a psychopath, and he also had Paranoid Personality Disorder.

I have known a number of people who had what I would diagnose as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. At first they may seem likable, but there is something pretty awful about them somehow even when they are being good. The one I knew best caused massive damage to me in my life until I severely restricted contact with them. Another person close to me got to know two NPD’s very well and has recently fallen out with one of them.

NPD’s are harmful! If you get involved with an NPD, you are probably going to get harmed or damaged. It’s just what they do. They harm people. That’s their nature. I would advise any of you if you have any NPD’s in your life to think seriously about whether you want this person in your life or not. It’s possible to have them in your life while causing little or no damage, but more often than that, there’s something toxic about them. If they haven’t hurt you yet, they probably will at some point in the future. I don’t cotton to assholes much, and I’ve suffered far too many of them for one lifetime. I don’t have any NPD’s in my life, and that’s the way I like it.

It’s generally a good idea to get all of the Cluster B Personality Disorder types out of your life. Cluster B is Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I have dealt with a few people who seemed pretty sociopathic in my life. They all harmed from me. Some of them stole from me. There is one I know to this day, and he is one of the most frightening people I know. The worst is you think he is nice because he has this sort of awful charm about him, so you go make friends with him again, and that’s always a big mistake. He came into my house, stole a $275 Guatemalan knife hanging on my wall when he had my back turned to him and was out the door. I was told he sold it for $10 to buy weed. He is a Bulldogs gang member, has scars from bullet wounds, and I believe he has a criminal record.

I knew his brother, and he came to my house one day carrying a small gun under his jacket. It was larger than a pistol but smaller than a rifle. I guess it was a semiautomatic. Not knowing guns, to me, it looked like a sawed off shotgun. He was bringing it to the local school where he attended in case he might have to fight his gang enemies. He told me he didn’t care if he lived or died anymore. He was only 19 years old when he told me that, a mere boy.

Last time he came over, I let him in and we sat down and watched some videos. He took out a very large knife and put it on the table. He said he did it to put me at ease. I actually did not mind that he did that. I prefer that if people are armed when they see me that they remove their weapons and place them on some furniture near us. That sort of evens the score a bit and shows a lot of trust. I suppose either of us could grab the weapon and murder the other person but it never happens. Plus I sort of like to live dangerously like an outlaw, and this is in line with that image.

A destructive sociopath comes into your life like a whirlwind. All sorts of wild and crazy things happen to you for a while, and it is like you are caught up in an exciting tornado thunderstorm. It’s all pretty wild and crazy, and nothing makes much sense, but you just go along because they seem so fun and charming, and these folks have a sort of a “pull” or attraction to them. I know of no other way to describe it but you might call it a forcefield. There is something about them, possibly in the very look in their eyes, that sort of hypnotizes you and sucks you into them and their world.

At some point, the sociopath vanishes from your life, whirling away in the distance like a funnel cloud. You look around at your life, and everything seems to be in ruins. It’s like someone came into your house and turned everything upside down, threw a lot of stuff on the floor, and now everything is a mixed up mess. You and your life have been seriously damaged by some unknown entity. You don’t even know what hit you. You look around at the human wreckage and think of the times when the sociopath was whirling around in your life and you think, “What in the Hell was that, anyway?”

These people don’t make sense. I have been studying sociopaths forever, and I have even done some psychological counseling with sociopaths. If they are young enough, you can still work with them to some extent and maybe prevent serious damage in the future. After decades of studying sociopaths, they still don’t make sense to me. I think the only way to understand sociopaths is to be one.

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Filed under Antisocial, Borderline, Crime, Democrats, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality Disorders, Politics, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Republicans, Serial Killers, US Politics