Category Archives: Psychotherapy

Thank God for That Feeling!

Really the optimistic and pessimistic views of life are both true and equally valid. This is what you figure out if you understand the Tao. Pessimism is a part of optimism and vice versa. Most of the time, it is the best of days and the worst of days, both at the same time. And that’s ok. That’s the Tao. The circle is completed. Once you realize that life is both wondrous and utterly horrible, often both at the same time, you feel greatly liberated and you no longer fear sadness or depression.

The main problem is that we are always trying to run away from our feelings. We have bad feelings and we run around like our the back of our shirt is on fire trying to toss of the flames of hell in our minds. This problem is compounded by therapists who too often try to get clients to stop thinking bad feelings and feel good ones instead. Problem is this does not really work. Say your marriage is breaking up. Even if you were in an abusive marriage, it’s still sad. And many people mourn the death of their marriage.

Usually a therapist will urge the client to not feel that way and instead be happy that the marriage is over. This is useless because the person is going to feel sad and mourn anyway. Clients should be encouraged to experience their bad feelings. Just sit and be alone with them. Meditate on them. If you are alone with your bad feelings for a while, often you get tired of bored with them and you don’t want to feel that way anymore. What really happened is you got the sadness or mourning  out of your system. If you run from it forever, you never get it out of your system. You have to stop running some time. And when you stop, here come your bad feelings, coming right up behind you. No matter how fast you run,  your feelings will always catch up to you.

Just as it is axiomatic that  you cannot run from your fears, similarly I doubt if you can run from your feelings. Feelings need to be allowed to come into consciousness, accepted and processed. After a bit of that, you may get tired of them, and now it is time to move along.

I have clients that are often dealing with a lot of unhappiness. I deal with suicidal people all the time. I have had clients attempt suicide on me right in the middle of a counseling stretch. I have already lost one client to suicide, but he was deeply depressed, had already attempted several times before, and when I first talked to him, he told me had a “suicide machine.” He had rigged up some sort of a device to give himself helium in order to commit suicide. Problem was it did not work very well.

The NHS in the UK really killed this man because they freaked out unnecessarily about his symptoms which sent him into a suicidal tizzy. He went away for a while and a few months later, I heard that three weeks after our last session, he was swinging from the ceiling of his home.

Increasingly I tell my clients who are dealing with sadness, depression and bad feelings  to just go ahead and experience that feeling. I say, “If  you feel sad, say ‘Thank God for that feeling!'” and you can go sit down somewhere and just get into the sadness of life, which is about 50% of it anyway. It is a legitimate part of life and it is ok to experience it without fear. The real problem is that people feel sad and start getting frantic trying to make the feeling go away. Go ahead and experience your feelings. They won’t bite. They’re yours. There’s no point running away from them if they’re yours.

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Filed under Depression, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Philosophy, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

About My Employment Status

I am sort of getting tired of answering questions about my employment that I get from haters every day. Here is a statement on the matter from another site a while back.

I live off a trust fund, and I also work as a therapist. I make some money writing and I do a few other things like brokering deals between consultants and clients, things like that. The reason I do not work is due to health. I am not in good enough health to work. Otherwise I have been working or in school my whole life. My last job title was Linguist/Cultural Anthropologist.

I do not use any government programs, so I am mystified at people always saying I am on welfare or collect a government check. I have no idea where they came up with that idea.

Here are my income sources in the last year or so:

Income Sources

Trust fund. Had $700,000 at the start, but now it is a lot less. It is a spendthrift trust, so I am locked out of it. They have always given me right around a poverty level wage only because my grandfather wanted me to survive but he also wanted to force me to work, so he made it small enough so I could survive but would not live comfortably. The idea was to force me to work because he did not want me kicking back my whole life as a trust fund kid. It was made spendthrift because he figured that if I had control over it, I would blow through the thing in a few years as I was a bit of a spendthrift, party boy and playboy as a young man.

Counseling. Peer counselor. I focus mostly on one condition, a DSM anxiety disorder, which, frankly, I am an expert on. I work with clients all over the world, mostly in the US but also in Chile, El Salvador, Canada, Australia, the UK, Ireland, Germany, Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, Spain, and Switzerland. I also work with problems in living, deep stuff (exploring your deep self or childhood issues) and growth stuff (learning how to grow to become a better and more functional human being).

People often break down in tears and start crying right in the middle of sessions. Happens all the time. I deal with suicidal people all the time. In fact, I lost one client to suicide already. I have had clients who were attempting suicide while I was working with them. It can be hard to deal with. I have no degrees, credentials or licenses in this field, but in California, you do not need one. Just hang out your shingle and call yourself “Counselor” and say come talk  to me about your problems. I do not get a lot of business, but I do get some. Considering that I lack all of the things you usually need to do this work, I am amazed that I get any work at all.

I read a lot of books on this subject and I have been studying psychology for 40 years. I had decades of therapy. I read up on counseling psychology and mental illness all the time so I am pretty much self-taught. You would be amazed how many jobs you can do simply by teaching yourself how to do them. It’s a myth that you need degrees, credentials,. etc. to do this or that job. Just teach yourself.

The longer I do this, the better I get at it. It is a stressful job though. I do one 1 hour session and I feel like I just ran a mile. I sometimes have to go lie down. The clients are in so much psychic pain that it seems to leak out of them and into my body. If you are empathetic at all this is going to happen.

Brokering deals between graphic artists and clients. I put the clients and artists together, negotiate prices, etc. and then take a cut for myself.

Conflict resolution/arbitration. In cases of graphic artists and clients where they have come to a standstill and nothing is getting done. An example: client has spent $~1,000 and is not satisfied with the product. Artist has stopped speaking to the client or returning his phone calls or emails. Client sent work back for endless revisions, and eventually the artist just had it. I wade in there, talk to both sides, figure out the nature of the dispute and try to settle the matter so that everyone is happy. I am actually quite good at this.

Webpage design/graphics. Mostly graphics. Working with graphics for people who need websites done. Work with graphic artists.

Graphics editor for books. I was recently a graphics editor for a book. I was in charge of maps. I worked with a graphic artist and told him what to label the areas and where to  shade in the areas we needed to shade in. We used a lot of sources, all of which were wrong. It was a great big mess,  but it was fun to put together the jigsaw puzzle.

Webpage design consulting. Consult with webpage designers who are having problems with their pages to fix their issues.

Selling information. As crazy as it sounds, I have actually made money doing that. I have some pretty much secret information about a few things that a lot of people want but few people have access to. An example would be a geographical location of an  unusual place that a lot of people want to get to, but the location is a closely guarded secret. So I ell directions to this location and then work with them afterwards to help them reach the site, etc. Yes, you can actually sell information! Isn’t that crazy?

Medical counseling. Work with heterosexual men who are worried that they have contracted HIV from sexual contact with women. I am an expert on this type of transmission and have been studying it for over 30 years now. I know more about it than most physicians.

They tell me the situation, and I lay out the odds that they may have contracted the disease based on their situation. I also tell them how HIV is acquired from women and tell them about the various surveys that have been done. I also have a lot of percentages, facts and figures about this type of transmission, like say 1% chance after 40 encounters. I tell them about all the different types of testing, the accuracy, etc. Then I follow them through any tests that they need to take in the next few months. And if they have anxiety or obsessive issues about possibly contracting this illness, I work with them on that, as I am very good at calming down or talking down people who are in the midst of anxiety episodes. I do it all the time.

Author. Just published my first book, or chapter in a book I should say. It is an 80 page chapter. I am supposed to be paid for this at some point. Book was published in Turkey in a university press. Took me 500 hours or three months work at part time. I worked with professors from all over the world on this project. I also had to go through two rather brutal peer reviews. I also came up with the name for this book series, but I was not paid for that.

Sell advertisements. I have made a bit of money selling ads on this site, but honestly it has been very little.

That’s it. I am always looking for new ways to get money though. I wake up every morning and think, “How am I going to get some money today?”

I became ill 21 years ago and have not worked at a regular job since. If I did not have the trust, I would try for Disability. Before I got ill, I was always either working or in college or both. There was never a time when I was doing neither.

If you enjoy the hard work that goes into this website, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site. Donations are the only thing that keep the site operating.

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Filed under Art, Health, Illness, Labor, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Vanity, Writing

Resolved: Transgenderism Is a Mental Illness

RL: I work in mental health, and I have to diagnose people a lot, or at least offer my opinion of a diagnosis as I cannot give out legal DSM diagnoses . I even have to do differential diagnosis constantly where I have to figure out which of two diagnoses a person has. Believe me, these cases can be very confusing.

Magneto: In your opinion, is being transgender a mental illness? I mean, I am aware of the statistics that gays/trans people have a far higher suicide rate than heterosexuals, which would seem to suggest that it is a mental disorder.

But it’s kind of hard to think trans are mentally ill when you are looking at a fucking sexy ass Asian ladyboy who is far hotter than any real woman you’ve ever been with. To be honest, I hope trans continues to become more mainstream and more men do the transition into females. Fine with me, more food to choose from, in my opinion.

Ha ha. So, more pussy, even if it’s fake pussy, eh? I’m not sure I am down with that.

 

Is transgenderism a mental illness. Of course it is. In most cases anyway. And the rate has gone up 600X since the 1970’s. If it is some actual biological condition in the brain like sexual orientation, one would not expect the rate to skyrocket like that.

Rates of biological conditions don’t change much. The rate of homosexuality has probably been 3% for a very long time. Homosexuality appears to be an incurable biological condition that gets wired up in their brains somehow. It is a developmental disorder like left-handedness and a number of other things. Something goes wrong hormonally in utero, and the result is male or in some cases female homosexuality. As it is a developmental disorder, would you expect the rates of left-handedness to go up 600X? Real biological conditions just don’t work like that. Why would the hormonal aberrations that cause homosexuality have gone up 600X? They wouldn’t. They would stay at some consistent rate that is close the the rate of things going wrong in utero.

Hence except in a few cases, transgenderism is not a biological disorder. I really feel for these boys who feel like girls from age 2 or whatever. I am willing to consider a biological disorder there.

Yet a biological disorder can also be a mental illness. Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder and even OCD look like biological disorders, and all are also mental illnesses.

These seems to be a “fad” disorder that a lot of folks are developing on their own in a similar way to how these therapists create mental illness in previously healthy girls who got molested. It’s a cool way of going crazy.

Studies in China show that ~3% of the population feels as if they are the opposite sex. So if we let this thing explode, we could end up with a 3% tranny population. In the past, these people became homosexuals (in itself a sort of transgenderism) or perhaps feminine men and masculine women.

When I was growing up in the 1970’s, we had this idea that all men and women have masculine and feminine components, even heterosexual ones. Just because a man has a feminine side or a woman a masculine one doesn’t mean he is not a man and she is not a woman, nor does it mean that either one is a homosexual.

I have a pretty strong feminine side myself, as many people used to think I was gay or bi. I’m not a Man’s Man at all. I’m not macho enough for that. I’m a Ladies’ Man who prefers the company of women. Most Ladies’ Men are not as masculine as Man’s Men.

I worry that if I were growing up today, I might have been sucked into this nonsense and decided that I was a tranny and I was really a woman or something insane like that.

If a man thinks he is a woman or a woman thinks she is a man, that is known as a delusion. It’s just not true. So they’re psychotic in a sense. And the treatment (sex change operation) doesn’t appear to make them any mentally healthier. So why do it? If the treatment doesn’t help the person, we stop doing it.

13% of people who have sex changes actually re-transition. So men who turn into women turn back into men, and women who think they are men turn back into women. If it was a real condition, one would not expect to see that. Homosexuals don’t suddenly decide to be straight. Left-handed people don’t decide to be right-handed one day. Transgenderism in childhood is highly transitory. 73% of transgender children are cured by adulthood. That is, by the time they are 18, they have abandoned the idea that they are the opposite sex. Biological conditions do not have such high spontaneous cure rates.

There have been quite a few spontaneous cures of transgenderism even in adulthood. There are a number of cases where a man was in therapy for transgenderism, and he showed up for therapy one day and announced that he’s no longer transgender. He’s really a man and realizes that and feels like one now. Then he gets up and walks out of the office. Just like that.

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Filed under Anxiety Disorders, Asia, Biology, China, Gender Studies, Girls, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, OCD, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Psychotic Disorders, Regional, Schizophrenia, Science, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology

Rates of Homosexuality and Bisexuality Skyrocketing in the US

Here.

As you can see, the rate of homosexuality and bisexuality in the US has been rising steadily for decades now. Or has it? Who knows!

This is the main problem I have with the Gay Rights crap. I have been saying forever now that the more the gays push and push, the rate of homosexual behavior is going to climb and climb.

No one knows if anyone is born gay. No one knows what the rate of homosexuality is. Maybe it’s 3%. But is it always 3%, forever, all around the globe? Who knows? Could it maybe be 20% someday or in someplace? No one knows.

It’s true that male sexual orientation cannot be altered past age 15, but even that notion makes gays very angry. This is why: the gay scam is that all gay men were “born that way” but any of us straights can just convert to bisexuality anytime we want to. Wink wink. Clever game they play, see how it works? Anyway, gays have even admitted that the born that way thing is a lie. They have no idea if it’s even true or not. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not, but they don’t say it because they think it’s true. They say it because it’s clever propaganda.

They just invented the born that way line because they thought people would like them more if they thought gays could not help being gay. But they are on record as saying that that they themselves don’t even know if it’s true and that it’s basically just a propaganda lie the gays made up. Yes they are on the record saying exactly that, I am serious. And the gays say that what their goal really is is that even if all gay men chose to be gay, that that would be ok too. That’s their endgame.

The 10% scam is another great big fat lie. The gays repeat the 10% lie endlessly. It is based on Kinsey’s flawed research, and no other studies have ever replicated it. All modern surveys come up with 2-3%. But the gays keep chanting 10% over and over, and all of us are expected to go along with the 10% lie, lest we be homophobes if we don’t fall for it.

OK so all gays and bis are “born that way,” right? This is the gay lie, or scam or whatever. OK, if that’s true, then why the Hell is the rate going up? Is whatever factor causes them to be born that way increasing steadily in our modern era, oddly paralleling the increase in gay rights? And what might that factor be? No one knows. And why might it be rising in tandem with gay rights? Hmmm.

The gays have a scammy answer to this question. According to the gays, the rate of homosexuality is never going up! If it appears to be going up, that’s only because more and more are “coming out of the closet.” Wink wink. Obviously this stupid theory is not even falsifiable, but never mind. Do you see how this scam works? Wink wink. Even if the rate were going up or even skyrocketing, we would never be able to tell because all of the increases were just people coming out of the closet. Wink wink. Hell, we could get to 90% gay and bi (we are probably headed there anyway I assume) and the gays would deny that any increase ever took place. All of those 90% were just in closet before slowly coming out with every new generation. Wink wink.

There is zero science or even logic in nearly all of the shibboleths that the gays push. Gay Politics is just another form of Identity Politics – it’s propaganda for gays just as feminism is propaganda for women, MRA’s are propaganda for men, BLM type movements are propaganda for Blacks, trans rights is propaganda for trannies, on and on. None of the arguments of any of these movements are based even 1% on science or even logic. All of these movements are just political scams based on propaganda lies meant to favor whatever group they happen to be lying about at the time.

And assuming the rate of homosexuality and bisexuality is going up, why in the Hell might that be? No one knows. Is anyone studying it? Nope. It would be terribly “homophobic” even study such a question! If the rate has been going steadily up, doesn’t that imply that not all gays and bis are born that way in the fashion that the gays lie, I mean say? OK, so if all these folks are not born that way, what on Earth caused them to go gay? No one knows. And apparently we will never know because the gays are furious at anyone even trying to study the cause of homosexuality.

What’s behind all of these lies? If you follow Gay Politics as long as I have, this form of IP has very simple goal: gays and bis wish to increase their numbers. They also want less discrimination, but increasing their numbers is a very important part of this movements. Gay men make no secret of the fact that they would be ecstatic if all men were bisexual. That’s their paradise, and it’s one of the goals of their movement.

Isn’t it true that sexual orientation cannot be changed via therapy? Nope. No one has ever proven that either. It cannot be changed with men, but no one knows if that is true with women. In fact, there are many examples of women going gay relatively late in life. There is no evidence whatsoever that these women were “born that way” and were “living a lie” the whole time they were straight. There are also a number of cases of women identifying as lesbian and then going straight. Some women identify as straight, go lesbian and then go back to straight again. It’s a game of Musical Orientation.

If a woman can go gay and then go straight again, how on Earth is that evidence of being born that way? The only obvious observation of women’s wildly changing orientations through life is that these women seem to be making conscious choices to either go gay or go straight or go gay and then go back straight again. I don’t see how it could be anything other than a conscious choice these women are making.

OK, if women can apparently choose to change their orientations at will, then who says we can’t change their orientations in therapy? Yet all of society, many state governments, the entire Cultural Left and unbelievably the American Psychiatric Association now state as an official policy that Sexual Orientation Change therapy does not work for males or females, causes much harm, is junk science and must even be banned by law.

Any evidence that this therapy does not work for females? Nope. Any evidence that it causes harm? It can, but that’s mostly when kids are shoved into it against their will. If one wishes to go to this therapy, it would probably not be harmful. Then why should we ban it? Because gay people made up a bunch of lies about it that the whole country, including all of US science, has fallen for, and hence we have to ban it because the propagandists want us to.

And actually the new line with gays is not that orientation cannot be changed. Their official line is that we do not choose our orientation, that all gays and bis are born that way, but that somehow sexual orientation can be changed, but it can’t be done by therapy, it can only be done by the individual. OK, they’re all born that way, but anyone can change. The therapy doesn’t work, except you can do it on your own, and it does work. None of this makes the tiniest bit of sense. Do you see that?

They continue to say that all gay and bi people were born that way. Do you understand why they say that? Do you see the scam? If all gay and bi people were born that way, then they can’t change! But on the other hand, gays are quick to point out that straights can turn bisexual at any time. How convenient of them! All of them are stuck being gay forever and all of us can turn gay at any time. Get it? Wink wink.

So what is homosexuality? Some dark force that once acquired, sticks with you for life no matter what? And what is heterosexuality? Some weak force that can always be decreased but never be increased? This is the scammy nonsensical argument that the gays have set up. So if all of them are stuck being gay and bi forever, and all of us can turn at least bi at any time, guess what’s going to happen over time? Wa-la! Good guess! The numbers of gay and bi people are likely to increase! I told you one of their main goals was to increase their numbers. I’ve been studying this movement for decades, and this is one of the main aims of their movement – to increase their numbers. I know exactly what sort of sneaky games they are playing.

In this way homosexuality is like Islam. Once one converts, you are stuck for life, and there’s no leaving. Islam was deliberately set up in this scammy way in order to deviously increase its numbers. The gays seem to be following the Islamic model.

As a scientific minded person, I find all of this quite discouraging. Apparently not one single modern fact coming out of Gay Politics is even true. Apparently not one thing that we are all required to believe about homosexuality and bisexuality is even factual. We are all just supposed to repeat the propaganda and the lies, and we’re all evil homophobes if we don’t.

I’d like to know what causes homosexuality and bisexuality in men and women. I’d like to know if the rates change across space and time. I’d like to know if they differ around the world, and if so, why. I’d like to know if the rate is going up or down, for Chrissakes, and if so, why.

Apparently all science-minded research on this subject is out because the gays have decided that it’s automatically homophobic before the studies even begin. So we just have to sit back and watch society increasingly go gay and bi and wonder why on Earth this is happening, what we can do about it, if it’s ever going to stop, and if there’s any way to stop it or even slow it down.

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Filed under Cultural Marxists, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Politics, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Regional, Science, Sex, US Politics, USA, Women

Destroying Many Myths about Teenage Girl-Adult Man Relationships

Women always want the best.

– Oscar Wilde

I would add teenage girls to that. Women and teenage girls always want the best.

First of all, I would like to point out that one of the main drivers of Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria has been feminist therapists exactly like this woman posting below.

A teenage girl is with an older man. People end the relationship, and everyone starts screaming about how she got abused and molested and damaged and ruined and how now she has to go a therapist now get over her being a victim of “child molestation.” The girl is typically utterly baffled and doesn’t feel 1% harmed by the relationship, which she probably started herself anyway.

They ship her off to the feminist therapist who drills it into her head endlessly about how she was a victim of “child molestation,” about how she is a “child,” presumably the same thing as what are known as little girls, and how if she doesn’t “recover from the damage,” she will be scarred and crippled for the rest of her life.

At first the girl thinks this is insane and stupid and probably wants to slap the therapist. But after a while, the therapist brainwashes her very well. Now the girl is going on and on about how she got molested, abused, raped, damaged and potentially ruined. What was formerly probably the peak experience of her young life is now regarded as a horrorshow of nightmarish abuse. She starts to develop a number of mental symptoms due to all the “abuse” she got. She was quite sane before. She was sane before, and now she’s crazy! Iatrogenic therapist-induced mental disorder. Way to go feminists! Instead of making crazy people sane, you’re doing the opposite. You’re making sane people nuts. Good job! You want a medal for that?

Rebecca Patrick-Howard:

“On another note, how can you possibly “groom” a teenage girl? You can only groom children, and teenage girls are not children.”

Children, teenage girls, and grown women can ALL be “groomed.” Grooming occurs when a power figure (teacher, parent, dominant partner in the relationship) deliberately establishes an emotional connection and relationship with another person in order to exhibit control and to lower their inhibitions, usually for the purpose of exploitation or abuse.

Little by little, a seemingly healthy relationship becomes darker as the person is isolated from their family and friends, suffers mental and physical abuse-and sometimes sexual, becomes mentally and physically dependent upon the other person, and begins suffering from self-esteem issues and other behavioral and mental health problems.

Battered women are “groomed” every day. Just ask the formerly confident, attractive, independent woman who, after years of mental and physical abuse, finds herself kowtowing to their partner’s every wish and demand, losing her autonomy, and finding herself mentally unable to leave the relationship.

Women and teenagers are groomed in a different way. They’re taught to sit quietly without asking questions, to immediately respond to any text or phone call, to put their own needs and desires aside to focus on what their partner wants, to dress and behave in public the way the other person wants, to give in to sexual desires that make make them uncomfortable, to respond to things in a manner in which they are uncomfortable. They’re groomed to do these things in the beginning by being rewarded, just like a dog is rewarded for treats. And later, when they’re not complacent, they’re punished.

Certain women are targeted. Perhaps they appear vulnerable or weak. Or maybe they’re just young. They learn to gain the other person’s trust. They find their needs being met. Then the relationship becomes sexualized. From there, control is maintained. At that point, they’re often so entangled within the relationship that it’s difficult to get out.

If you’d like, I can provide data, research, case studies, and message boards where you can read many experiences from women and teenagers who have been “groomed.” From women and teenagers who have escaped abusive relationships and even sex trafficking situations.

“She probably seduced him. That’s how this stuff usually goes.”

I would like to see citations for peer-reviewed studies that show that the “most men having sex with teenage girls are doing it because the girls seduced them” and that “Also in almost all cases it is consensual”. Because I can tell you, as a woman and former teenage girl, that’s not been MY experience. As a family therapist, that certainly goes against the studies I’ve seen and read – not to mention the experience I’ve had with dozens of my young clients.

Regardless, a 13-year-old is a child. No matter how “mature” they appear, no matter if they’ve started menses or not, no matter if they have the body and vocabulary of a 20-year-old-they’re are NOT a woman. Either legally or emotionally.

Do you have a daughter?

I don’t have one, but if your daughter is a teenage girl, I bet she is pretty angry about the way you are trying to “protect” her from a harmless thing she doesn’t even want to be protected from in the first place! From her point of view, you’re annoying and in the way, big time.

In every case I heard about personally, the girl seduced the man. In all the cases I have read about on the Net, the girl went after the man. Teenage girls like men, you know. They mostly like boys, but there’s definitely a fair number of them who like men too, usually the better looking ones.

And teenage girls did this too me more times than I can count when I was having sex with them from ages 18-21 and then later when all relationships were platonic. I never sought out underage girls even as a young man when I was dating them. I didn’t have to. I just sat back and waited for them to come to me. They approached me or mutual friends said the girl wanted to go out with me. “Hey Bob, do you want to go out with Clarissa (14 year old girl)? She wants to go out with you.”

And I certainly never sought them out as “easy lays,” mostly because they aren’t. Teenage girls are not easy targets. It is actually quite difficult to date them if you are an adult. If we lowered the age of consent right now, it would be murderously difficult for me to date a jailbait. I’m too old for them, and they’re too hard to get anyway.

I have never in my life heard of men seeking out teenage girls as “easy targets.” Why would anyone do that? Girls like men enough that if you are into teenage girls and you are goodlooking and have good Game, all you have to do is sit back and wait for them to come to you, or at least make the first signals.

I have never in my life heard of a man who “could not get a woman his own age,” so he went after teenage girls. It boggles my mind that women and feminists actually believe this ludicrous notion. It doesn’t work that way! If you can’t get a woman your own age, of course you cannot get a teenage girl because they are far harder to date than grown women your own age.

I am 59 years old and although somehow I do date attractive young women in their legal teens through 20’s (against all odds and to my own astonishment), I must say that it is horribly difficult. And when I have to deal with young women in my regular doings around town, most of them look at me like, “Get the Hell away from me, creep!” It was never like that before. It was the opposite. Obviously I am too old for them. This is 100% due to age and 0% due to anything else. Even if it were legal, dating teenage girls would be even harder for me than young women because honestly they harder to get if you are older. The younger the female, the harder it is to get her if you are an older man.

For one thing, teenage girls are much pickier than women. In every case I have known personally, the girls seduced the men, and the men were basically studs, players, playboys, womanizers, or whatever you want to call them. These were good-looking men with great Game who did great with women. Even in the cases I read about in the paper, the girls seem to be targeting the “Alphas.”

I have talked to teenage girls about this, and they told me, “We are not really into older men that much. But if we are at all, we only want the best, the cream of the crop.” Teenage girls are boy-crazy, and they will date all sorts of teenage boys. You don’t have to be an Alpha at that age. Many teenage girls have Beta or even Omega boyfriends. They are not so selective about boys their age. But once you start getting above the boys into the men, teenage girls get far pickier.

Bottom line is as far as I can tell, Beta and especially Omega men cannot even hope to get a teenage girl. Those girls only want the ~20% best men in your age group.

Look at cases in the paper. How many times have you heard of teenage girls pursuing movie directors (Roman Polanski repeatedly), rock stars (Bowie, Steve Tyler, Jimmy Page and surely many others), rich men (Trump, Jeffrey Epstein), teachers (strong authority figure with a good job and better than average smarts), writers (JD Salinger). See? They make a beeline for the best men.

Which has exactly been my experience. There are men out there who are attractive to most of the women. Call them the Alphas. Typically there are a number of women who would gladly date these men. These are the men that “all the women want.” Well, guess what sort of men teenage girls like? Exactly that type. Girls want the same cream of the crop men that the women want. Girls and women are not all that different when it comes to sex. They all want the same thing.

Why on Earth would you get involved with a man if it wasn’t consensual? If it’s not consensual then it’s rape. If it was rape, why didn’t you report it to the police? Color me baffled. You say in your practice you have met many teenage girls who were in nonconsensual relationships with men. Leaving the family aside (where coerced sex with minors is very common) how many girls get into nonconsensual relationships with men? Why would anyone do that? Are you saying that all these girls were raped? That every time they had sex, it was a rape? That’s what nonconsensual means. Rape. If all these girls got raped, why didn’t they report it to the police?

If most of these cases are really rapes and not consensual, why doesn’t LE file rape charges against the men? Instead it’s usually some statutory type charge that merely says his only crime was having sex with a female in some restricted, off-limits age range.

I’ve never heard a typical older man-teenage girl relationship that was not 100% consensual. If it’s not consensual, why would she be there in the first place. Teenage girls are pretty damn smart. You can say that kids don’t have the ability to consent because they are unclear on the concept in the first place. But to conflate the lack of agency of little girls with the wariness, worldliness and sophistication of teenage girls and argue that somehow teenage girls can’t figure out what consent means is nuts. Of course they know what it means. Only kids don’t know, and teenage girls aren’t kids. They’re neither children nor adults. We might as call them girl-women. I know them very well. They are far smarter, wiser and sensible about this stuff than most people think.

Every case I read about in the paper appears to be consensual, especially long-term relationships. How many times have you read that the girl refuses to testify against the man because she loves him, thinks he did nothing wrong or regards the relationship as consensual? I have read that so many times that I can’t count it. She often pleads with the court to release him, saying she hasn’t been harmed in the slightest.

The court disregards the fact that this was a crime involving two people where there somehow was no victim and heaves the guy into prison and throws away the key. In fact, so many teenage girls refuse to testify in these cases that it is almost expected behavior. The only reason the men ever go down is because someone else reported the case. The girl almost never reports the case. Why would she? She’s doing what she wants to do.

This non-testimony is such an epidemic that many states had to dig out their laws and make new laws and rules so that the testimony of the victim was not even required for a conviction. They had to throw out proof of harm because most of these teenage girl fake-victims will swear on a stack of Bibles that they were not harmed at all.

I would say that the one group that is probably most angry at all about this Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria is the girls themselves. Quite a few of them want to get with hot men, but every time they nab one of their dream men, people like you grab her beloved boyfriend and throw him in prison. Hell, the “victims” themselves probably hate this mass hysteria more than anyone else. Most of the “victims” probably hate the law that is supposedly “protecting them.” Isn’t that rather idiotic?

I still don’t believe a woman can be groomed. The author says grooming occurs whenever there is a power discrepancy. Does she realize how often there is a power discrepancy between adult men and adult female sexual partners? Does the author think it should be illegal to “groom” women? Would she propose an anti-grooming law for women victims of grooming?

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Filed under Crime, Feminism, Gender Studies, Girls, Heterosexuality, Jailbait, Law enforcement, Man World, Mass Hysterias, Pedophile Mass Hysteria, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Romantic Relationships, Sane Pro-Woman, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, Women

What’s with All the Rape and Sex Crimes?

You have to go through a regional paper that segregates articles by theme to actually realize the extent of rape-type sexual offenses, including rape and murder.

Child molestation is a whole other ball of wax, and it’s complicated by the drooling, psychotic autism of calling adults who have sex with teenagers pedophiles and child molesters, but I am absolutely stunned at the number of men who are having sex with actual children, like girls 12-under. And a surprising number of them involve violence too. Are all these guys pedophiles?

Pedophiles are only one of the four types of child molesters.

80-93% of child molesters are non-pedophiles. They’re just criminals. They’re not into girls any more than any other guy. They do this because these are aggressive, manipulative, amoral, probably somewhat sociopathic men who take advantage of young girls due to the fact that they are an easy target. Most of this is familial. On Indian reservations in Canada where it is estimated that 100% of girls are molested, most of the molesting is familial. It’s Daddy or Uncle or Grandpa or whoever.

The others are familial, opportunistic, trysexual and psychopathic.

I won’t deal with the first three right now.

Psychopathic child molesters differ from pedophilic ones in that they have no preference for prepubescent girls. Their sexual orientation age-wise is as normal as any other man’s: They are maximallly attracted to females age 16-up, and progressively less attracted as age goes down. Psychopathic child molesters molest girls because they have no morals, and they have a “screw anything that moves” attitude. A girl, a woman, what differenced does it make? All potential targets. Sure, he doesn’t prefer girls, but they will do in a pinch.

The problem with automatically treating all child molesters as psychologically disordered and having a paraphilia is that most of them are probably neither. They’re not nuts in any way. They’re just criminals. If they don’t prefer girls for sex more than any other man, there’s no sexual disorder to treat.

“Screw anything that moves” is not a sexual disorder. “Take advantage of naive daughters and nephews” is not a sexual disorder. “No morals” is not a sexual disorder. “Manipulative scumbag” is not as sexual disorder. My understanding is that most of these guys get labeled pedophiles and thrown in to pedophile treatment programs. It’s really dubious how many of them get helped by these programs especially when there’s nothing much to fix. Worse many them get labeled “mentally disordered sex offenders.” That means they have a mental disorder, in this case a sexual disorder. See any sexual disorders above? Neither do I.

Obviously true fixated pedophiles need to be in a program. Even out of incarceration, they should probably be in regular therapy to keep them from offending or re-offending.

But when a man’s problem is not that he’s a pedophile but that he’s a psychopathic monster, how are these pedophile treatment programs supposed to help him? How are they supposed to help Weird Uncle who prefers women but goes after girls in a sleazy pinch? They can’t.

I would wager that most of these men, if they have any disorder at all, have an impulse control disorder. That’s not in the DSM yet. But just you wait. It would be a bad idea to put Impulse Control Disorder into the DSM because we just labeled half the population crazy. Probably 50% of the population can’t control their impulses well.

Are there treatment programs that teach men how to control their impulses? No idea. Are there programs that aim to impart morals into a morally barren human? Probably, but how good is that going to work. How do you create something that was never there?

I am starting to wonder what the Hell is the matter with us men. I’ve never done anything like this, not even date rape. I don’t get the appeal. If she’s not willing, it’s no fun, right? If she doesn’t want to do it, shrug your shoulders and say, “Fine, I will sleep on the couch then.” Trust me, she will get up in the middle of the night and drag you back to her room. An abundance mindset is always helpful. I guess I have raped if you count the feminist daffynition of rape, but the feminists are so insane on this subject that they would put 50 million men in prison. The feminist definition of rape isn’t even rape. It’s not nothing. It’s just junk, like most anything a feminut says.

But this stuff below is the real deal. As much as I dislike feminists, I am starting to se why so many of them starting hating us men. We’re pretty hateable you know. Hell, I don’t even like men, and I’m a guy!

I’ve been dating some women around age 50. Nearly every single one of them had either been raped. And they had all had a man try to kill them. I figure by age 50, most women in the US have either been raped by a man or had a man try to kill them. That’s pretty sorry.

Ladies I would like to apologize on behalf of all men for the despicable behavior of my gender. It’s an outrage what we do to you. The rapes, the assaults, the beatings, the kidnappings, the imprisonment, the attempted murders and the murders. I can’t believe what you put up with from us. Sometimes I wonder why any of you like any of us anymore.

If you a law-abiding citizen who rarely if ever commits a crime that victimizes the innocent, or at least one who stays out of jail for more than 5-10 hours in their life, the background level of crime in society is absolutely stunning. Sure you’re likely to avoid being a victim of a serious crime, at least this year, but the sheer numbers of crimes occurring in normal everyday America is mind-blowing. And these are just sexual crimes, some of the worst of all.

If you start doing research on less serious but still victimizing crimes, the number of them occurring on any given day even in your area is out of this world. It’s hard to understand how many heedless fools there are out there who are not inhibited by the threat of imprisonment. And there’s a Hell of a lot of sick fucks out there. Incredible how many sickos are running around. It boggles the mind.

Keep in mind this is just this year and the year’s barely even getting started. And in just this one country with 4% of the world’s population. So multiply these cases by 25.

And fully 70% of the cases below that occurred in this year alone happened in only two states, North Carolina and Florida.

And then you think about this factoid that only 4% of rape cases ever result in incarceration and it’s even more shocking. So there’s 25X more of this stuff happening that perpetrators are getting away with.

Autopsy: New Mexico girl was raped and strangled on 10th birthday, had STD when she died

Jesus.

Couple charged in ‘rape-murder fantasy’ killing of girl, 14, prosecutors say

Wow, no words. Good Lord! Her own Mom was involved in the imprisonment, beating, torturing, drugging and raping of this girl. I’ve heard of Moms being driven batty by unruly teens, but isn’t this a bit extreme?

 

Florida man held girlfriend for 2 weeks, raped her and used pliers to rip her nails off

Another girlfriend rape, but this guy threw a lot of violence into the mix. This guy needs to get together with Pliers Bittaker.

Sex offender wearing electronic monitor accused of raping woman in NC

Darwin award.

Man accidentally confesses to rape during police job interview

Date rape. OK, you’re a jerk and an idiot. Enjoy your Darwin Award in jail. Perhaps you can tape it to the wall.

Woman stabs man who allegedly tried to rape her, escapes attack

Good for her, but what’s his problem? She stabbed the guy who was trying to rape her. Damn.

Brother of Panthers tight end Greg Olsen given $103,000 bond on rape charges

Hmmm, wait. He raped his own longterm girlfriend? How is that even possible?

Man accused of sexual assault in Burlington arrested

What the Hell is your problem?

Man allegedly pulled gun, attempted to sexually assault woman after she turned down grilled cheese

This one is actually funny. He’s a rapist and a stand-up comedian!

Burlington middle school teacher accused of statutory rape

This last one is the only one I feel sorry for. But she’s 45! And the boy was 15! Jesus. Anyway, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to that kid so far in his life and it looks like his teacher is teaching him a bit more than readin, writin and arithmetic, no?

All right. So what do we do with this silly woman who has an Impulse Control Disorder in the sense that’s not able to inhibit her desires or separate thoughts from actions. Not to mention heedless and foolhardy. This retarded society is probably going to give this cougar 5 years for her extracurricular tutoring of this fortunate young man. Then, our special needs society is going to make this dingbat woman register as a sex offender for the rest of her life when all her victim proabably said was, “Thanks Mom, I mean teacher.”

So what would I do? What do you do when there’s nothing to be done but throw up your hands.

Fire her. Pull her credential. Make it so she can never teach again. That ought to be good enough. If she can’t find a job, I suppose she can always become a cougar porn star. I recommend she specialize in the Mommy-son fantasy market.

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Filed under Amerindians, Canada, Corrections, Crime, Criminology, Florida, Gender Studies, Girls, Law enforcement, Man World, Mental Illness, New Mexico, North America, North Carolina, Northeast, Pedophilia, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Race/Ethnicity, Radical Feminists, Regional, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, South, USA, West

Resolved: It Should Be Legal For Teenage Minors to Have Sex with Each Other

It should not be illegal for teen minors to have sex with each other. Teen minor sexuality and childhood sex play are considered two different things.

Teen Minor Sexuality

In California, teens may not be arrested for having sex unless it is bad like forcible rape.

Childhood Sex Play

In my counseling practice, I hear stories of childhood sex play and even incest, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual, all the way to bisexual orgies, on a regular basis. Many of these cases would be called child molestation in our current parlance. However, that’s not what it is. Ages involved range from six to 15, both males and females. Females are just as likely to engage in childhood sex play as males.

Childhood sex play involves sex play involving children younger than age 13 as at least some of the partners. In some cases, teens aged 13-15 were involved with younger kids all the way down to age eight. Most people would call it child molesting, but I would not. Most minors are not capable of true child molestation. A kid can’t molest another kid. A lot of kids even up to 13-15 have no idea what they are doing and should not be held responsible. Female teens are just as likely as male teens to be involved in this. In fact, in the two cases I am aware of, the girls were 13 and 15, and the children were boys down to age 8. I do not believe either of these girls were child molesters ,and what went on was not child molesting. That doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, but in general this is not an LE matter.

This goes on all the time, and LE should not get involved. In the case of childhood sex play, children should be discouraged from doing this. If it doesn’t stop, they need to go to therapy. LE needs to butt out of this and let this be solved by families or at worst social services.

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Filed under California, Gender Studies, Law, Law enforcement, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Regional, Sex, USA, West

Is Psychiatry a Pseudoscience?

Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it!: I think Mr Lindsay would do well to read Crazy Like Us if he hasn’t already.

Is psychiatry a pseudoscience?

Yes and no. That is, the phenomena of mental illness are genuine, but their investigation is sorely lacking in rigor. This added to the fact that psychiatry is a business in the US and the Anglosphere more generally results in huge over-diagnosis, pathologizing difference, etc., and children are the easiest marks for this con.

As someone who works with people who have actual diagnosed DSM disorders on a regular basis, I definitely think that a lot of these things are real, and they are indeed disorders. We actually try very hard not to pathologize anything that could remotely be seen as normal conduct, and we cast a wide net for that phrase.

The people I deal with have Axis 1 disorders, and they are suffering from the most incredible pain and misery. Many of them are almost literally living in Hell. I lost one client to suicide. Further, the disorder often makes it very hard for them to function well in society. It’s not uncommon that I have clients who have been hospitalized, sometimes on multiple occasions.

Axis 2 is real too. Those are real disorders. I have known some people on Axis 2 (personality disorders), and trust me, they are not normal in any way, shape or form. Mostly they are making other people miserable, but the disorder is usually screwing up their own life in a big way too.

As far as psychiatry being a pseudoscience, well, I get people who are misdiagnosed all the time. I’m not allowed to give legal DSM diagnoses, but I tell them my opinion on what they have and how they are misdiagnosed. Often I get people diagnosed psychotic who are not psychotic at all.

Some of them are pretty crazy, but just because you feel really nuts does not mean you are psychotic. Psychosis is a loss of touch with reality. If you are not out of touch with reality, you are not psychotic. Psychosis is grossly misdiagnosed in the US. If you feel really crazy, you get diagnosed “psychotic.” It is just the field’s way of saying “this person is seriously crazy.” But seriously crazy is not the same thing as psychotic. You would not believe how nuts people can feel without being psychotic. Your world can get seriously weirded out when you are not even psychotic at all.

I also get people who are mis-prescribed all the time. Psychiatrists hand this stuff out like candy and they severely play down the side effects.

In short, yes it’s a real science, but we don’t have formal tests like lab tests or X-rays to actually make a perfect diagnosis. So we have to go on symptoms, and it can be quite hard to diagnose a mentally ill person correctly. I have dealt with people who had been diagnosed with 10-15 different disorders. There was no way that they currently had all of those conditions when I spoke to them. This person was extremely ill though, I would agree with that. Unbelievably ill.

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Filed under Health, Medicine, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Psychotic Disorders, Science

No, Pathological Narcissism Is Not OK

Even water can kill you if you drink too much of it, and at some point, the normal narcissism continuum that most of if not all humans are on gets to be too much of a good thing, and you are going into pathological narcissism. Usually this is heading towards Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something close to that.

Pathological narcissists are not acceptable. They are not ok. They are not all right. They don’t live longer than others. They’re not happier or healthier than others.

Instead of being ok, the truth is that they are simply ill. It’s not normal for a human being to be that way, as it clashes badly with smooth social and occupational functions. It’s a maladaptive disorder because it turns you into the biggest asshole on the planet, and understandably causes a lot of people to dislike you just about everywhere you go.

People with NPD are generally quite damaging. They tend to damage or harm most of the people they are in relationships with. Why? Because that’s just what they do. They can’t really do anything else. Of course they have no insight, and most are utterly incurable. The longer it goes on, the worse they get, and by the time they are in their 40’s or 50’s, almost all of them are completely hopeless and often profoundly ill cases.

As you might expect, therapy with NPD’s is typically a monumental waste of time and often quite unpleasant for the therapist to boot.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Therapy: A Pointless and Unpleasant Endeavor

Like everyone on Axis 2, the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder thinks they are fine. Obviously the problem is everybody else. They will just go through their whole life blaming other people. That’s how they ride.

They rarely if ever show up for therapy, and when they do, it is often at the behest of others who are forcing them into therapy because the narcissists is driving these people insane and ruining their lives. Once in therapy, the narcissist plays games, engages in a boatload of manipulation, does no work on themselves because after all there is nothing to be done, and often engages in a lot of ego and narcissistic games with the therapist, including insulting the therapist, thinking he is better than the therapist and telling him so, deciding that the therapist is a lousy therapist, etc.

If you tell them they are narcissists, will generally either reject the diagnosis, ignore it, blow it off with some humorous blustery remark, decide that psychiatry is a pseudoscience, or say, “So what? I like being this way.”

They might take it as an insult, but they usually will not react aggressively. Instead you will see a spark of recognition and alarm in their eyes. The narcissist is not an idiot. Many are highly intelligent and in fact, sadly it goes with the territory. At some level, most if not all narcissists now what is going on. The problems is they don’t care, or they like to be this way.

If you keep reminding the narcissist of what he is, he will stop being flippant about it and start getting aggressive. Expect dirty fighting, devious and crafty manipulation, nasty insults, or walking out of the room. Keep it up, and the narcissist will just end the relationship. The narcissist is not going to sit there and let you call him a narcissist all day. He’s too good for such degrading treatment. If he cannot do that, at some point, he will probably create a nuclear explosion of a fight and try to terrorize you into not bringing up the subject again.

Generally speaking, they are a complete waste of time in the office, therapy with them is often quite unpleasant, and nothing gets done anyway. It’s not uncommon for the therapist to simply fire the narcissist as client, informing him that nothing is getting done. This a relief to the narcissist, as now he has an excuse to quit the degrading therapy. Technically this is client abandonment and an ethics violation, but the decision is always mutual, and nothing was getting done anyway, so why prolong the pointless endeavor?

Theoretically, the narcissist can be cured. Since lions cannot change into tigers, all we can do with personality disorders is turn the bad side of a basic personality type into the good side of that type. The good side of Narcissistic Personality is Confident Personality. These people can be a bit much too, but they are healthy enough that they can function quite well especially in a hyper-competitive capitalist society like ours. The goal of therapy with an NPD is to turn them into a Confident Personality. But good luck with that.

There is so much more to talk about with narcissism and NPD, but let’s leave that for another day.

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Filed under Ethics, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy