Category Archives: Borderline

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Sociopathy/Psychopathy

Whitedawg: I was kind of wondering, commenting about the personality traits/qualities of regular everyday people or elected officials, more so than Teddy. There is little doubt Ted crossed a lot of lines.

But it’s not so evident to most that President-elect Trump may have some serious problems that can influence his decision making and tweeting. Many people know non-serial killing psychopaths, sociopaths, and malignant narcissists. And some of those traits are looked at as positive.

I am not sure how many non-pathological Malignant Narcissists there are out there.

George W. Bush was said to be sociopathic and the same was said about LBJ. Hitler was clearly a psychopath, and he also had Paranoid Personality Disorder.

I have known a number of people who had what I would diagnose as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. At first they may seem likable, but there is something pretty awful about them somehow even when they are being good. The one I knew best caused massive damage to me in my life until I severely restricted contact with them. Another person close to me got to know two NPD’s very well and has recently fallen out with one of them.

NPD’s are harmful! If you get involved with an NPD, you are probably going to get harmed or damaged. It’s just what they do. They harm people. That’s their nature. I would advise any of you if you have any NPD’s in your life to think seriously about whether you want this person in your life or not. It’s possible to have them in your life while causing little or no damage, but more often than that, there’s something toxic about them. If they haven’t hurt you yet, they probably will at some point in the future. I don’t cotton to assholes much, and I’ve suffered far too many of them for one lifetime. I don’t have any NPD’s in my life, and that’s the way I like it.

It’s generally a good idea to get all of the Cluster B Personality Disorder types out of your life. Cluster B is Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I have dealt with a few people who seemed pretty sociopathic in my life. They all harmed from me. Some of them stole from me. There is one I know to this day, and he is one of the most frightening people I know. The worst is you think he is nice because he has this sort of awful charm about him, so you go make friends with him again, and that’s always a big mistake. He came into my house, stole a $275 Guatemalan knife hanging on my wall when he had my back turned to him and was out the door. I was told he sold it for $10 to buy weed. He is a Bulldogs gang member, has scars from bullet wounds, and I believe he has a criminal record.

I knew his brother, and he came to my house one day carrying a small gun under his jacket. It was larger than a pistol but smaller than a rifle. I guess it was a semiautomatic. Not knowing guns, to me, it looked like a sawed off shotgun. He was bringing it to the local school where he attended in case he might have to fight his gang enemies. He told me he didn’t care if he lived or died anymore. He was only 19 years old when he told me that, a mere boy.

Last time he came over, I let him in and we sat down and watched some videos. He took out a very large knife and put it on the table. He said he did it to put me at ease. I actually did not mind that he did that. I prefer that if people are armed when they see me that they remove their weapons and place them on some furniture near us. That sort of evens the score a bit and shows a lot of trust. I suppose either of us could grab the weapon and murder the other person but it never happens. Plus I sort of like to live dangerously like an outlaw, and this is in line with that image.

A destructive sociopath comes into your life like a whirlwind. All sorts of wild and crazy things happen to you for a while, and it is like you are caught up in an exciting tornado thunderstorm. It’s all pretty wild and crazy, and nothing makes much sense, but you just go along because they seem so fun and charming, and these folks have a sort of a “pull” or attraction to them. I know of no other way to describe it but you might call it a forcefield. There is something about them, possibly in the very look in their eyes, that sort of hypnotizes you and sucks you into them and their world.

At some point, the sociopath vanishes from your life, whirling away in the distance like a funnel cloud. You look around at your life, and everything seems to be in ruins. It’s like someone came into your house and turned everything upside down, threw a lot of stuff on the floor, and now everything is a mixed up mess. You and your life have been seriously damaged by some unknown entity. You don’t even know what hit you. You look around at the human wreckage and think of the times when the sociopath was whirling around in your life and you think, “What in the Hell was that, anyway?”

These people don’t make sense. I have been studying sociopaths forever, and I have even done some psychological counseling with sociopaths. If they are young enough, you can still work with them to some extent and maybe prevent serious damage in the future. After decades of studying sociopaths, they still don’t make sense to me. I think the only way to understand sociopaths is to be one.

16 Comments

Filed under Antisocial, Borderline, Crime, Democrats, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality Disorders, Politics, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Republicans, Serial Killers, US Politics

Introverts, Extroverts, Pure Introverts and Frustrated Extroverts

Gregory Chelli writes:

I think introverts generally have a lower social intelligence than extroverts.

Autistics are true introverts, they don’t like to be with others because they don’t understand them well. They are like naturally bad at maths people who don’t like maths as a result of their incapacity. There are probably no bad at maths people who fantasizing about equation and maths problems, as there are no autistics fantasizing about being in a conversation with people.

The frustrated extroverts or extroverted loners you are talking about are generally persons with high social intelligence who can’t fully use their gift in real life because of some emotional problem, like timidity for example. So, as you said, they end up created imaginary social situations in their mind to relax themselves. An analogy would be a math genius who is prevented to do maths for some reason, like being in jail. He would be thinking about imaginary maths problem most of the time without being able to do real math stuff on a blackboard or in a notebook.

There are probably true introverts with high social intelligence and true extroverts with low social intelligence. But these ones are exceptions. People generally like to do what they are good at.

NB: people with extremely high social intelligence may not be interested in people, because the general population would look autistic, and thus not interesting to them.

What do you think of this comment?

I suppose it depends on the definitions of introvert and extrovert. Supposedly 80% of the population are extroverts, whatever that word means. True introverts are only 20% of the population, whatever that word means. I suppose extroverts really like to be around people. Introverts like to be around people a little of the time but not a lot of the time. They need their space. I know introverts will talk at a dinner table for a bit and then retreat to their bedroom with a book. Or you will talk to them at a table for a bit, but then they want to stop talking and read the paper.

Introverts absolutely do not sit around fantasizing about being around people all the time when they are alone. Forget it. And anyone who does that is not an introvert. Forget it. They’re just not. Normies would probably insist that this person is an introvert or a “loner” just because they are alone all the time. But Normies are retarded.

I would say that just because you are alone all the time doesn’t mean you are a loner! How about that?

Now we need to define the word loner. Normie retards say that loners are people who are alone all the time, but that’s not the definition of a loner. A true loner or real loner is someone who really has need or use for other people and simply prefers to be alone all the time because that is what makes them happy. If they are forced to be around people, they probably try to leave after a while because they start to feel uncomfortable.

If you are alone all the time but you don’t enjoy it or you hate it and you dream of being around people, you are not a real loner. Really you are not a loner at all. We might call you a “fake loner.” In this case, we are looking at the difference between real loners and fake loners.

I think introverts like being alone, but they don’t want to be alone all the time, although there are some who do.

I do not think shy people are necessarily introverts. Nor are social phobics for that matter. Normies say they are, but Normies are idiots. For instance a shy person who does not really like to be alone a lot but ends up being alone due to shyness is not an introvert. Forget it. Especially so if the shy person is fantasizing about being around people all the time.

I would gather that that person has probably not been shy their whole lives. Perhaps there was a time when they mingled with people much easier, but then something happened to them, and they turned shy. The reason they are fantasizing being around people all the time is because at one point in their life, they were doing this, it was going well, and they were having a lot of fun. In other words, they want the old times back again.

Or perhaps they may have an anxiety disorder. Quite a few extroverts develop anxiety disorders. If a person develops an anxiety disorder, it doesn’t really matter how good their social skills are because they will not be able to use them well. They may well know all the rules and have all the skills, but when the anxiety comes out, it’s all for naught because 100% of the people around them are going to reject them in one way or another. They may well even be extroverts who like the idea of being around people, but the anxiety kills off all the fun by making everyone reject them and makes being around people a great big drag. Eventually they might just stop trying.

Normie idiots think only introverts get anxiety disorders, but that’s just not so. I have even heard of cases where wild, hypersocial, life of the party types in their teens developed social phobia at age 18 to the point of hardly being able to leave their houses. There has been no actual personality change here, and true personality change is not common anyway. The person has simply become ill. Theoretically, if you could cure that illness, the shyness would go away, and they would be their old hypersocial selves again because that is who they are deep down inside.

I do not believe that the deep down inside person really changes in most cases. Normie morons insist, “Anyone can change their personality,” but that’s just wrong. You are what you are. Your personality is your personality. You’re stuck with it. Get used to it. It’s yours. All yours. That said, no one is stuck with a lousy personality.

One theory is that there are good and bad sides to all personality types. The good side of Antisocial personality is Aggressive Personality. The good side of Narcissistic Personality is Confident Personality. The good side of Borderline Personality is Sensitive Personality. I believe the good side of Dependent Personality is Devoted Personality, and the good side of Paranoid Personality is Cautious Personality.

8 Comments

Filed under Antisocial, Anxiety Disorders, Autism, Borderline, Dependent, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

The “Crazy” Personality Disorders: Borderline Personality Disorder

People with Borderline Personality Disorder can seem quite crazy. 80% of cases are women. These women are often called nuts, crazy, crazy women, crazy woman from Hell, etc. These are the classic crazy women who display remarkable mood changes from depression to happiness to ecstasy to anxiety to rage, perhaps all in one day or even in a single morning. The PD is characterized by frequent and dramatic mood changes.

Borderlines also engage in a lot of push-pull behaviors, teasing and seductiveness and dramatic shifts between love and hate. They tend to either idealize people as near Gods or demonize them as completely evil. They also often switch back and forth with the same person, seeing him as both wonderful at one time and diabolical the next.

This is called splitting. It is a primitive defense that children frequently use. Young children split the world between good and evil. Good is pure good, and evil is pure evil. The child loves his parents one minute, and the next hates the parent’s guts when they are thwarted or reprimanded and sent to their rooms. How often have you heard a small child scream, “I hate you Mommy!” and run to their room crying?

Most people get over this Manichean view of the world by the time they are adults, but Borderlines never do that.

Relationships with Borderlines are characterized by constant chaos and drama that never ends. If you are in a relationship with a Borderline, you need to get out of it because it is going to be nothing but continuous chaos and drama as long as you are with them. Borderlines often do not think there is anything wrong with themselves, or perhaps even more disturbingly, they actually enjoy being crazy. The latter is my theory from being around Borderlines quite a bit. I am convinced that they actually love being nuts. Perhaps it is exciting.

Borderlines are often in and out of the hospital. They are very commonly suicidal. I met two Borderline women, one in her late 20’s and the other in her early thirties. One had tried to commit suicide 13 times, and the other had tried 8 times. The suicide attempts are often deliberately fake which is something women do a lot. They actually want the suicide attempt to fail. They probably do this as a means to get attention, and there is a good chance that it is a cry for help too. They are trying to get people to pay attention to their misery and chaos.

Some Borderlines can be dangerous or homicidal. Many or possibly even most male Borderlines are or were incarcerated in jails or prisons. Male Borderlines are much more dangerous than female Borderlines. I do not think I have ever met a male Borderline, but I have heard that they are very bad news. You probably do not want to have a man like this anywhere near your life.

I have met extremely ill Borderlines who appear at first glance to be extremely crazy. I have seen some where I thought, “Wow, this is the craziest, most insane person I have ever met.” These very ill types can appear psychotic. I am not sure if they are actually psychotic or if they just appear that way.

They present as chaotic people who tell all sorts of wild, dramatic, often contradictory stories about their lives, many of which seem to be completely made up or delusional notions. These stories often have to do with enemies who are supposedly persecuting them or wild and chaotic stories of abuse when they were children. Upon close examination, many of these disturbing stories are not even true. The person is either making them up, has a poor boundary between reality and fantasy, or is delusional.

They can be litigious, battling their enemies in court. Even female Borderlines are often arrested, often for wild fights with one of their enemies or lovers. Sometimes a disturbing level of violence is used in these fights. The murderer Jody Arias is an example of a homicidal female Borderline.

They are hated by clinicians and mental health workers because of their constant drama and chaos which often involves extreme anger, tirades, tantrums, threats, and generally Hellish behavior. There are clinicians who hate Borderlines so much that they refuse to take them. Not that it matters because they usually don’t get better in therapy anyway.

3 Comments

Filed under Borderline, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Repost: The Indian Personality: Superiority and Inferiority Complexes Intertwined

This is a great article from a ways back that neither slams Hindu Indians nor venerates but instead simply objectively describes what is going on with them. We talk about India and this subject in particular on here, so I thought this piece would be germane to the discussion. Plus, a lot of you have probably not read it. Hopefully it will stimulate some discussion.

A fine new Indian Hindu commenter named Janardhan has appeared on our blog, and he repeats some of the same things that other insightful Hindus such as ILOR, Rahul and Pranav have said. This shows us that not all Indian Hindus are bad people and that some of them are capable of looking inwards and trying to better their society. I consider both Rahul and Pranav at least to be strong Indian patriots who simply want the best for their country. As they see it, getting the best for India is going to require some massive changes, hence their critical patriotism.

Hindus have a strange mix of superiority and inferiority complexes. Deep down they massage their ego about how their civilization was ‘da greatest’ with a total ignorance about other civilizations and their achievements. According to Hindus, Ancient India compared to the rest of the world is equivalent to comparing the city of Vienna during Mozart with highlanders in Papua New Guinea. As if Ancient India was like this huge Vienna while the rest of the world were primitive.

But during the last centuries they were first enslaved by Muslims from Central Asia/Persia (whom they consider savage bloodthirsty barbarians ignoring the intellectual side of Islamic civilization which itself was plagiarized to a good extent from Greek learning) and then the Europeans.

One difference was that in the case of Islamic invaders they could hide under the carpet the invaders’ intellectual side, and they are thus dehumanized as savage bloodthirsty monsters (this label is justified though as the Islamic rulers were quite brutal). But when the Europeans, especially the British, came, they could not ignore their obvious technological superiority with their steam engines and telegraphs.

Thus the conflicting superiority/inferiority complex feelings.

They were as per their myth Numero Uno Civilization in the world, but now they are nearly at the bottom. White people with their strange but seeming superior looks and behavior give us an inferiority complex. Besides, even the Japanese/ Koreans are way ahead of us, and now the Chinese are racing ahead. Mainland Indians just cannot accept the rise of China: “Those Chinkis like the Chinkis of Nepal and North Eastern Indians going ahead of us, not possible,” we say.

Thus the desire to prove ancient India being as technologically advanced as the modern world since the modern technological world is 90% a White creation and we cannot fathom a people other than us could have done so.

I think this is same with the Arabs with their Islam. Islam, the last word of God and having an Arab as its last and greatest prophet, has fallen behind the White nonbelievers. Oh, the horror.

Blacks, well most Indians consider Blacks as some savage monkey people anyways.

I would say we Indians are some of the most racist people in the world, but our racism is very subtle.

As someone who works in mental health, I would like to point out the obvious. A person with both a massive superiority and inferiority complex going at the same time is a common creature. This is typical for Cluster B personality types: especially Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders. But it associated more with narcissism than anything else.

In fact, all proper analyses of narcissism begin with the supposition that what is going on in narcissism is often a huge inferiority complex which is apparently being compensated for by its opposite, a huge superiority complex. My view is that the worse the narcissist’s inferiority complex, the greater their superiority complex must be to compensate for it. Whereas if one feels only a bit inferior, one has only to feel a bit superior to compensate as all human beings are trying to equalize things and get at what I call the “zero state” of perfect equilibrium where everything is ok.

Many analyses of the Indian personality on this site have noted the profound narcissism apparent in most Indian Hindus. In many cases, this also looks like solipsism, but then narcissism and solipsism tend to go together anyway (Look at the Jews, the most solipsistic people on Earth).

20 Comments

Filed under Antiquity, Asia, Asian, Asians, Borderline, Britain, Colonialism, Culture, East Indians, Europe, Europeans, Hinduism, History, India, Islam, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Political Science, Psychology, Psychopathology, Race/Ethnicity, Racism, Regional, Religion, South Asia, South Asians, Whites

Harm OCD Versus Other Conditions: Differential Diagnosis

This is a repost of a very popular post of mine on psychology. It just received a massive update and major changes have been made. It is offered here in case you did not read it the first time and are interested in the subject.

A very frequent complaint in OCD patients is thoughts of harm, either harming oneself or others. The general rule is that the person never acts on the thoughts, although this is somewhat controversial. Some say there have been a few cases of OCD sufferers acting on their harm obsessions. It’s just that I have personally never heard of a case.

In addition, as a counselor, I have worked with countless OCD sufferers who have this particular theme over the past eight years as they come to me for help. I haven’t met one person yet who acted on the thoughts nor have I heard of anyone who has, and I have known people who have had this theme for more than 25 years.

However, sometimes sufferers start to commit the act, but they stop before they are able to carry it out.

In one case, a man had an obsession about turning his bicycle either in parked cars and pedestrians. Sometimes he would just start to act on the obsession and turn his bicycle towards the people or cars, but every time he did this, he simply crashed his bike. No one was hurt other than himself.

Generally, people read my articles and simply self-diagnose as OCD with whatever theme they have going. 100% of the people coming to me self-diagnosing as Harm OCD were in fact suffering from that very condition.

What to look for:

Resistance: I would look first and foremost for resistance. Look at how hard the person fights the thought. The harder the person fights the thought, the more likely it is to be an obsession. In fact, I would say that thoughts that are ferociously resisted are always or almost always obsessions.

Resistance to thoughts is not commonly seen in other conditions if it is seen at all. Most persons without OCD simply do not ever try to stop or fight off their thoughts. If you ask them, they will say things like, “I only think things I want to think,” and “I don’t have unwanted thoughts.” So resistance to thoughts in people who do not have OCD is probably not common.

Although it is often said that resistance is a bad sign in OCD as it makes OCD worse, I don’t mind seeing resistance. The reason is that if a person is ferociously resisting and doing so successfully, then first of all, I am quite sure I have a case of OCD so the diagnostic conundrum is over and also I know that the the OCD is simply not that bad yet.

As OCD gets worse and worse, resistance gets harder and harder. I have talked to a number of people who have gotten to the point where the thoughts have simply taken over the person’s mind and are going all the time. They can’t resist them anymore, if they ever could. Inability to resist thoughts or thoughts that have completely taken over is a sign of a more serious case.

Ego-dystonic: The person hates the thoughts, or at least it seems as if a large part of the person hates the thoughts. The new theory is that the entire self hates the thoughts and that no part of a person wants an obsession, but this is a bit controversial. Nevertheless, this is what I believe. One  hears OCD sufferers say things like, “I hate this with every fiber of my being.” That’s a good sign when they can think like that. As the condition worsens, the person gets more and more confused about whether they like the thoughts or not or want to get rid of them or not.

In an advanced case of Harm OCD, the person will feel evil and it will seem as if they like the thoughts and do not want to get rid of them. This can cause diagnostic confusion. Feeling evil, feeling like they like the thoughts and feeling like they don’t want them to go away are all aspects of advanced Harm OCD. The key here is ego-dystonicity. These feelings cause alarm and profound anxiety in the person as they feel that they are turning evil against their will or that they are becoming something that is in opposition to their true self.

Ego-alien: The person is often confused as to why they are even thinking these thoughts. One  hears such things as, “I have thought a million times, why the Hell would I even think of this stuff even one time, ever?…I love my mother/father/husband/wife, etc. so why am I thinking about killing them?” If you ask the Harm OCD sufferer if they feel angry, they will usually say that they don’t. The person is often frankly mystified why they are even having these feelings in the first place.

Another part of the ego-alien aspect is that the person feels that the thoughts are not even really their own. They know that the thoughts are just thoughts and they know that the thoughts are coming only from themselves and not from an outside entity, but nevertheless the thoughts are so alien to the person’s identity that they often seem like they are not the person’s own thoughts.

The person’s inner voice can become split into a “sane voice” and an “OCD voice.” The OCD voice can sometimes sound like it is someone’s else’s voice other than the person’s own inner voice. Really it is just the person’s inner voice morphing into a new form. This experience is so alarming that the person often fears that they are going psychotic.

Thoughts go against the person’s morals: This is the reason for all of the distress, resistance, anxiety and alarm. The thought of hurting or killing random others or loved ones or certainly people one is not angry at all with seems profoundly wrong on at least some level to the Harm OCD sufferer because typically deep down inside the person with this theme is paradoxically enough, an extremely moral person.

And oddly enough, they are often remarkably passive and non-violent. This clashing of one’s morals is what engenders the strong resistance, discomfort, anxiety, worry, and alarm.

Differential diagnosis: There are apparently quite a few people with ego-syntonic fantasies of hurting and killing other people. Sometimes it is someone they hate, and sometimes it is anyone in general, women in general, or some particular ethnicity, race or religion in general. The major problem with thoughts of harming others is that the people who are never going to do it are often the main or only ones who show up clinically.

That is, often the only people showing up inn therapy are the Harm OCD sufferers or in other words, the only people who show up for therapy are the people who are never going to commit these acts.

The people who are really thinking seriously about hurting or killing other people or who like to think about such things it and are not bothered by these thoughts, feelings, urges or plans, and they simply do not seek help. This is a real problem: truly violent people generally simply do not show up clinically asking for help to try to stop acting on their violent urges. It would be nice if they did, but they just do not.

These people are variable. Some go through life choosing to think these violent thoughts, and sometimes it is just a phase that they give up at some point. This is often seen in an  adolescent male. In some cases of course, they act on the thoughts of harming others, and these are the people you read about in the papers.

But in many other cases, they never act on the thoughts and can go years, decades or a lifetime with frequent thoughts of harming others that are never acted on even once. For every one person running around being a serial killer, there are probably 100 more  who dream of such things but due to various controls or fears, they are able to avoid acting on their fantasies. People have more control than we think. Nobody has to do anything.

Sociopathy: This is not OCD. Sociopathy develops in childhood and adolescence and is generally a long-standing problem. A non-sociopathic person simply cannot turn into a sociopath in adulthood de novo; it’s not possible. If you’re not a sociopath by age 18, you will never be one.

An informal survey of sociopaths on an Internet forum for sociopaths revealed that most to all sociopaths said that they enjoyed thinking about harming others. A typical comment was: “Thinking about hurting or killing people is one of the few things that I actually enjoy thinking about.”

So we see that most sociopaths take great pleasure in thinking about hurting or killing people. They think about it whenever they want to. If they want to think about it, they do, and if they don’t want to think about it, they don’t. The harm thoughts are ego-syntonic. They don’t feel bad about having these sorts of thoughts. Thinking about these things is simply their idea of a good time.

Unfortunately, most sociopaths never show up in a clinician’s office. Just thinking about something is fortunately not grounds for hospitalizing someone. Anyone can fantasize about being any kind of criminal that they want to be. As long at they don’t do anything, there’s nothing that the law or psychiatry can do.

Lack of guilt: You will sometimes run across people who have violent fantasies about people they hate. This is not OCD. They will often tell you that they are not going to act on the thoughts, but the fantasies sounds like a good idea since they hate the person so much. They do not feel guilty about these thoughts; instead they enjoy them. The thoughts are not resisted. A famous psychiatrist said, “A homicidal fantasy a day keeps the psychiatrist away.”

In more florid cases such as Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder, the person is making overt threats and seems to be capable of carrying them out. They generally don’t act on the threat, at least not homicidally, although they often commit minor acts of impersonal violence, damage property, and are generally menacing. Obviously in some cases they do commit acts of serious violence thought. But in my experience, the overwhelming majority of homicidal threats are simply empty threats.

Nevertheless, if presented clinically, this is cause for alarm, and in the US, under the Tarsakoff Rule, persons making homicidal threats can be hospitalized for making specific threats towards a specific person. In other words, in the US, if a person says, “I feel like killing people,” there is no grounds for commitment. There’s nothing to act on.

But in the US, if a person is making a specific threat towards a certain known individual that seems to be a credible threat, clinicians have to notify the person being threatened, and the person making the threats may be legally involuntarily hospitalized, although in many cases, they are not committed, or if they are, it is only for the 1-3 day minimum.

Note that it is very hard if not impossible to determine in a clinical setting exactly who is dangerous and who is not.

Potential serial killer stopped: A recent case history along these lines in a journal is instructive. A man had Bipolar Disorder. At some point in the disorder, he developed elaborate fantasies of being a serial killer. He had assembled a very fancy murder kit, including all the implements he might need. He also had a list of ~20 people he was going to kill. He had been following and observing them for some time and had taken precise notes on many aspects of their locations, travels, and behavior. He had notebooks with elaborate plans on how he planned to kill these people.

It’s not known how or why he revealed this in therapy, but he did. The threat was considered credible enough to be actionable. He was hospitalized for 1.5 years in an institution in which he underwent intensive therapy and was given medication. At the end of the period, his fantasies and desires to be a serial killer had been completely eliminated.

The team said this was a very unusual case of successful intervention. They noted that he was not a sociopath, and this was probably the only reason that he volunteered his plans in therapy and was able to renounce and be alleviated of his desires, and return to society as a healthy member. The man had some ambivalence about his plans, and this was due to his not being a sociopath.

This was not a case of OCD.

He enjoyed his elaborate plans, had been planning them for some time, had assembled kits and stalked potential victims and had elaborate, pleasurable, long-standing and ego-syntonic fantasies about homicide which were not resisted.

A person with Harm OCD will never assemble a murder kit, write down elaborate plans for how they are going to kill people, stalk potential victims or even carry weapons. The overwhelming emotion in Harm OCD is fear, and the tremendous fear will prevent them from doing any of those things.

Harm OCD sufferers often go to great lengths to keep from acting on their thoughts. Some “disarmed” themselves before they went to see another person. They would remove all “potential weapons” from their person so they could not use them to attack the person they were with. They would also   “disarm their vehicle” when another person was getting into it. They would take all potential weapons and hide them under the seat of the car so they would not use them to attack the person.

Sexual sadism: Sexual sadism is a paraphilia that almost always develops in its strong form in childhood or adolescence. The person’s preferred means of arousal involves hurting, humiliating, degrading, insulting and abusing an other person. These are people who like to hurt other people. They get off on it sexually.

A very large number of serial killers are sexual sadists. They kill in order to get off sexually. Their masturbatory fantasies since childhood or adolescence have typically involved sadism, torture or even homicide.

It is very common for serial killers to have a history of kinky sex with their wives or lovers. The kinky sex usually involved bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.

In addition, the severe sexual sadist may have an erotic arousal to images of women who are either dead or appear to be dead. These people, typically men, collect photos of dead bodies or women who appear to be dead.

Unfortunately, sexual sadism tends to escalate over time. There have been cases of serial killers or murderers who could only orgasm if they were pretending to strangle their wives.

A rather typical case might look like this:

A gay man with sexual sadism presents for therapy. Sadism is extremely common in the gay community. His sadistic activities have been slowly escalating over time. The last time he had sex, he burned a man with cigarettes. He got so excited that he wanted to kill the man, and he had to restrain himself from doing that. He presented to therapy thinking he was out of control. He was afraid he would kill the next man he had sex with.

This is not OCD. Fantasies in paraphilias such as sexual sadism are typically very pleasurable. The thoughts, images, feelings and urges are either seldom or never resisted. So what we look for her is an ego-syntonic syndrome with a lack of resistance. In addition, we are looking for strong sadistic sexual fantasies, typically dating from an early age, that are powerfully arousing. Such fantasies will be absent in Harm OCD.

The potentially confusing aspect of paraphilias and OCD is that while the paraphilia gives the person a great deal of sexual pleasure, and they often spend a lot of time masturbating to the paraphilic fantasies, it is rather common for them to feel strong guilt after they have an orgasm and the excitement fades. Alternately they can feel a lot of guilt about the paraphilia itself as in the case of exhibitionism, voyeurism or body part fetishes.

What is going on here is something like an addiction. Paraphilias look like addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling or pornography. The paraphilic “addict” loves his paraphilic “high” and often feels out of control with wild pleasure almost like a roller coaster ride when they are caught up in the high of the addiction. They often describe themselves as feeling out of control in this phase.

When the drug run is over or the addict wakes up with a hangover or an empty wallet at the casino or drug party, there is a crash in which the addict feels terrible that they are so powerless over their addiction. They also feel guilty and pained that they are suffering the aftereffects of the addiction. Feelings of self-loathing are common in this phase.

However, in some very bad cases of Harm OCD, violent and sadistic thoughts about torture, murder, cannibalism etc. intrude quite often during masturbation or possibly sex. This is not sexual sadism; it is OCD. This is relatively common in Harm OCD, and the sufferers often describe it as being  extremely unpleasant. The difference here is the intrusive nature of the thoughts which are generally not present in sexual sadism, where instead of being intrusive and resisted, the thoughts are pleasant and welcomed.

On occasion, a sociopath or potential serial killer will present to someone or other, more often law enforcement than a clinician. Usually they present only once and then go away. Possibly years later, they may begin killing. In one case, one of the prime suspects for the possible Smiley Face Killer Gang presented to a police station about powerful urges to drown young men. He was afraid he was out of control, and he was going to act on them. The police could do nothing to retain him.

This is not a case of OCD.

This is a sociopathic person who simply feels out of control.

In a case in the UK, a serial killer gave a warning years before killing that he felt he was out of control and was afraid he was going to kill someone.

Once again, this is not OCD.

It’s another sociopath who fears they are losing control. This person will be having strong, long-standing ego-syntonic fantasies of homicide which are not resisted. They are pleasurable to the person, but they do not want to act on them, probably due to fear of going to prison. Over time, homicidal fantasies may become stronger so that the capacity to resist putting them into action becomes more difficult. This is what happens when these people fear they are losing control.

In short, a diagnosis of Harm OCD is relatively straightforward and should prevent few problems.

What we are looking at here is the difference between problems of fear and problems of desire. OCD is a problem of fear. These other problems are problems of desire.

8 Comments

Filed under Anxiety Disorders, Borderline, Crime, Law, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, OCD, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Serial Killers, Sex, Sociopathy

What Attracts Women

I will go through these one by one here:

  1. Hypergamy
  2. Women’s dishonesty about what they’re attracted to being biologically hardwired because of them wanting one man to beta provide and another man to fuck her.
  3. Looks = Personality. Your personality and behavior are largely dictated by uncontrollable factors (how people reacted to you during upbringing, hormonal profile during puberty, your background, etc.).
  4. Social life and hence status being extremely affected by the way one looks.
  5. Men being more productive and contributing more to society and to general development throughout history, and how marriage and monogamy in the old days was a way to control and make sure that every man got his needs met and hence contributed to society. Basically one can easily conclude that female to male choice based mating selection is very bad for society overall.

Let’s start with 1 first.

Hypergamy

Yep, females are hypergamous by nature. The Blue Pillers, feminists, male feminists, etc. are absolutely furious about this notion. They say it’s all a great big lie. Are they really that clueless?

But yes, female hypergamy is real. It is also a big problem if unleashed. In order to keep it at least manageable (because you can never get rid of it altogether), institutions such as marriage with enforced monogamy are devised so you can have a halfway civilized society and restrain female hypergamy significantly.

Women’s dishonesty about what they’re attracted to being biologically hardwired because of them wanting one man to beta provide and another man to fuck her.

Yep. Women lie about what they want. They lie about what turns them on. They lie about a thousand things. Why they lie so much, I have no idea, but I suspect that women don’t even know what they want or what turns them on either.

I do not agree with women wanting one man to be a Beta provider and another to provide stud service. Ideally, I think most women would like to marry Chad, tame him so he’s monogamous, and hopefully have Monogamous Chad Dream Man be a great provider for her so she doesn’t need to settle with a Beta as a provider.

You will notice that women’s romance novels are typically about this totally unrealistic dream man who is this hunky male model stud who is a man’s man, masculine as can be but at the same time sensitive, loving and kind, who has women after him all the time but settles down with the heroine after she tames him.

My mother notes that the male heroes of romance novels are men that more or less do not even exist in real life. So women’s dream men are so fantastical that they probably don’t even exist. They’re pining for nonexistent entities!

The problem that Alphas are often lousy providers. Many Alphas are not employed. A lot of others work in the criminal economy, often selling drugs, etc. A surprising number work at low paying jobs and continue to live in cheap apartments and drive old cars into middle age. A stunning number of Alphas are in jails and prisons. Many Alphas spend most of their life essentially living off women in exchange for providing what boils down to gigolo service.

Even if a woman could pin Chad into a long term relationship or marriage, Chad makes a lousy boyfriend and an even lousier husband. He tends to be an incorrigible cheater, among other things. He is at least a little bit narcissistic/sociopathic, he is typically vain, conceited and egotistical and is often rather short on empathy. In other words, Chad is an asshole.

So women don’t need a Beta provider. They need a provider, period. Chad would be the #1 pick of course, but he’s not available, so she settles for Mr. Beta with the good job as a provider. But now she still needs Chad for sex. What’s a lady to do?

Looks = Personality, your personality and behavior are largely dictated by uncontrollable factors (how people reacted to you during upbringing, hormonal profile during puberty, your background etc).

This is very sad, but there is probably a lot to it. I do not think we are doomed by what happened to us in junior and senior high school, but those experiences are so important that it is hard to overlook them. While no one has a set in stone lousy personality, we all have a certain personality type, and it is set by the end of adolescence.

There is a healthy and unhealthy side of each personality type. Even the Sociopath has a healthy mirror image called Aggressive Personality. The Borderline has Sensitive Personality. The Dependent has Loyal Personality. The Narcissist has Confident Personality. And so on.

A man with good looks often has so many great experiences during these formative years that he ends up with a nice personality pretty much locked in place by the time adolescence is over. The man who had a rocky road all through middle and late school years has a huge hurdle to overcome in transcending these traumas and becoming healthy.

Social life and hence status being extremely affected by the way one looks.

This is sad as Hell too, but there is probably a lot to it. People need to consider that when they see people with great/poor social skills and high/ low status that quite a bit of how high someone scores on those variables may be due to uncontrollable factors like looks.

Men being much more productive and contributing much more to society and to general development throughout history, and how marriage and monogamy in the old days was a way to control and make sure that every man got his needs met and hence contributed to society. Basically one can easily conclude that female to male choice based mating selection is very bad for society overall.

Women are not going to like this one. But I would agree that men create civilization. There have been periods in history when most of the men left, often to wars, and the society was left with mostly women to run the show. Things fell apart pretty quickly. Women simply can’t create or run civilizations. They need men to do that for them. Women can help the men run things, but they can’t do it alone. This is quite all right. Women can’t do everything. The sexes tend to need each other.

But since civilizations needed men to create them in the first place and then to run them, marriage and monogamy was a way to control society such that most if not all men got their basic needs met. Once their basic needs were met, these men would be able to do a good job contributing to society. Bottom line is a totally free market in marriage where women’s choices set the tone is probably going to cause all sorts of societal problems, like maybe mass shootings for one.

9 Comments

Filed under Borderline, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Literature, Man World, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Novel, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Romantic Relationships, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, Sociopathy, Women

Is Everyone a Bit Borderline?

Beatrix writes:

I’m convinced there’s a little Borderline in all men & women. There’s a little Narcissist too in both men & women. Self-preservation is instinctual in both sexes.
Self-preservation is a reaction to humans’ feelings of fear and insecurity. BPD & NPD are a set of maladaptive behaviors used as a means of self-preservation & emotional regulation.

2 types of BPD’s I have encountered – Those who blame other/external events for all their emotions/problems and usually seek to harm others, aka ‘high conflict’ individuals.

Those who blame themselves for all their emotions/problems (and darned near everyone else’s too) and usually seek to self harm.

If you look at the symptoms of BPD, it looks like normal femininity gone wild. Those are more classic feminine behaviors than classic masculine behaviors. Classic masculine behaviors will be more readily seen in sociopathy, Antisocial PD, and Narcissistic PD.

You realize there are 3 female borderlines for every 1 male borderline? Ever met a man who self-harms? I haven’t met one. Another clue that BPD is feminine behavior is that many male BPD’s are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also 3-1 female to male, and once again, many HPD males are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also classic feminine behavior gone wild.

What people call narcissism in women is really just normal female solipsism. Male NPD’s vastly outnumber females, although female narcissists do exist.

However, I have had men go down the list of BPD symptoms and insist to me that they must be BPD’s. It’s just because the list is talking about a lot of stuff that is pretty normal for human beings – fear of abandonment, emptiness, boredom, emotional dysregulation, black and white thinking, a lot of out of control anger, tantrums, emotional outbursts when thwarted, identity problems or uncertainty about self, goals, and interests (very common in young people of both sexes), impulsive, high time preference, disassociate symptoms, suicidality and even push-pull behaviors.

These men do not have BPD in any way, shape or form. It’s just that when you look at the symptoms, a lot of humans seem to have at least some of these symptoms.

I have worked with a female diagnosed female borderlines. Generally I would say that by age 30 your average female borderline will have wracked up ~10 suicide attempts and a number of hospitalizations. If they are ~30, and have not even one suicide attempt yet, I question the diagnosis.

5 Comments

Filed under Antisocial, Borderline, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Sociopathy, Women

Personality Disorders as Out of Control Gender Principles

Beatrix writes:

As you know Borderlines’ severity can vary from slight to completely ruinous behaviors. I would think the Borderlines you would see professionally would be on the ruinous end of the scale where their behaviors had caused them serious problems.

The problem is that Borderline traits are extremely common in human beings, especially in females. Some of my recent girlfriends were pretty erratic and yes, they did display some significant or even marked BPD traits. One I am certain was not a BPD though and the other one had never been diagnosed, and honestly as nuts as she is, I am still not sure if she is diagnosable BPD. I described both of them to my mother and the first thing she said was, “Is she a Borderline? She sounds like a Borderline.”

I am honestly of the opinion that there is a little borderline in every woman. A lot of women have a little borderline in them, but some have a vast amount of borderline in them to where we call them BPD’s because they are so outrageously pathological.

BPD is simply the Feminine or Female Principle run amok and gone completely insane and taken to its ultimate extreme.

Likewise Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder are simply the Male or Masculine Principle run amok, gone wild and taken to the max.

Too much female, not enough male = bad.
Too much male, not enough female = bad.

Both the male and female principles have good and bad sides. What BPD’s NPD’s and sociopaths have done is take everything bad about the Gender Principle and take it to the ultimate.

1 Comment

Filed under Borderline, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Narcissistic, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Sociopathy, Women

More on Borderline Personality Disorder

Ed writes in saying that his wife is a Borderline. His statements are in quotes, followed by mine.

My wife is likely borderline, and I haven’t commented (same with the contribution!) because I’ve been too busy dealing with her.

I am so sorry that this is going on with you, Ed. You have my deepest sympathy.

“Borderline Personality Disorder” was originally named that because the people who had it were literally regarded as borderline crazy. Not quite crazy enough to be committed, but still crazy.

It was also called “Borderline Schizophrenia” and “Pseudoneurotic Schizophrenia.” Both of these have gone over either to Schizotypal Personality Disorder or mostly to BPD. It was thought to be on the edge between neurosis and psychosis which is actually not a bad characterization. There was a lot of talk of “borderland states” and whatnot. This was back in the day. A lot of this work was going on in the 1940’s-1960’s. And quite a few Borderlines look somewhat Schizotypal too. I think there may be a link there somehow.

I think the current term is “Emotional Dysregulation Disorder” which is a more accurate description.

This is exactly what is going on with the Borderline person.

I also understand that “personality disorder” was a sort of jumped together category where behavior was put that psychiatrists weren’t sure was mentally ill, or just badly adjusted.

Not really, if you read up on psychology, the link between Axis 1 and Axis 2 is quite clear. BPD probably went into Axis 2 because it is a long-term illness, it does not respond to medication, it starts early in life and continues for decades afterwards in a stable and persistent manner and they do not seem to want to get better. All of which is Axis 2 in a nutshell.

but BPD/ EDD has been moving more in the direction recently of the mentally ill category.

BPD is funny as an Axis 2 disorder because unlike most personality disorders, these people really do seem to be actually mentally ill instead of merely having a character defect.

My view of mental illness, and again psychiatry is moving in this direction, is that all mental illness is just a manifestation in terms of thought and behavior of an underlying physical problem.

The more time you spend around Borderlines, the more you are convinced that it is so obvious that there must be something wrong with their brain somehow, and yet they can shut the symptoms down at will, so it is confusing. Furthermore, meds don’t fix them, which makes you think Axis 2 and not a biological brain issue.

I find the main problem in dealing with someone with the disorder to not be the abuse so much as the constant chaos, upsetting of plans, and so on which seems to stem from a need for attention.

Yes involvement with a BPD can be described as endless drama and chaos. It will go on like that into the forseeable future. Borderlines are certainly very narcissistic, and they are the center of the universe all the time. This is one of their main problems. The world revolves around them.

I’ve read that people with the disorder grew up in chaotic, broken households, and they learned how to deal with it, so they subconsciously try to recreate these conditions wherever they go.

I am not sure. I knew one Borderline, and I have never met anyone from such a dysfunctional and screwed up background. Both parents were heroin addicts, criminals and thieves, chronically depressed and suicidal, made regular suicide attempts, were in and out of jail all the time, moved often, and were regularly homeless. The mother committed suicide, and within a week the father committed suicide also. Pure Hell.

This person, instead of trying to recreate chaos, seemed to have somehow gotten broken into 100 pieces like a shattered glass on the floor, apparently by this chaotic upbringing.

But some Borderlines grew up in healthy households.

And yeah, men can have it, but it manifests itself somewhat differently. Think of the worst boss you ever had.

Male Borderlines are bad. I have never met one, but I have heard about them. They can be quite dangerous. They also engage in a lot of drinking, drug abuse and theft. Many of them are in prison or jail, which is where they belong if you ask me.

15 Comments

Filed under Borderline, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

Borderline Personality Disorder: A Brief Overview

Stealth writes:

I guess that’s what you call it when someone experiences emotions more intensely than usual?

To put it mildly.

It is worse than that. Borderlines are trainwrecks. Human trainwrecks. And as if that were not bad enough, many of them are simply doing it on purpose. Why? Because they like to. They like to be crazy. They enjoy it. It’s fun. It’s fun to be nuts, to go in and out of the hospital, to attempt suicide over and over, to ruin your own life and that of everyone else around you. They’re doing what they want to do. This is how they want to live their lives.

A typical day for a Borderline is a maelstrom of intense emotionality, with strong states of anxiety, depression, rage, depression, etc. alternating throughout the day, often via rapid shifts even within the hour. They are up, down, and all around and all over the place at once. The hallmark symptom of the Borderline is rage. That is why Borderlines are Human Tornadoes and most sane people try to stay clear of them. They enjoy this rage and guard it zealously.

Most Borderlines are only capable of being good for a short period of time. With one Borderline I knew, I would calculate how long she was capable of being good. Towards the end, it was down to about 8 hours. She simply could not be good beyond 8 hours. She would fall apart and start acting bad again. Another Borderline I stayed with for a while was only capable of being good for 12 hours before she would start acting bad again. She would be a monster for the first half of the day, and then turn reasonable in the second half of the day.

When I say acting bad, this is what I mean. Borderlines “act bad” in the same way that 2 year old’s do. In fact, my opinion is that Borderlines are permanently 2 years old. If the world of the narcissist can be summed up by, “And now we are six…” the Borderline will be forever a 2 year old. They honestly stopped growing right around that time.

The worst Borderlines look to me like a human shaped like a drinking glass. Picture a human being as a drinking glass. In the case of the Borderline, someone dropped the glass on the floor and it’s now shattered into 100 or 1,000 pieces. I have worked with Borderlines who seemed about that shattered. The feeling one gets is you look upwards, circle your eyes round a few times, and say, “Where do I begin?” That’s the problem with the Borderline. The glass in on the floor, broken. There are 100-1,000 pieces on the ground. The clinician looks at the mess and throws up his hands because he can’t begin to figure out how to put this human being back together again.

The worst Borderlines have split so badly that they have developed what appear to be different personalities. I have known two Borderline women who seemed to have multiple personalities. I do not think this is true Multiple Personality Disorder, the existence of which is uncertain anyway, but it would look a lot like it to anyone who is not a clinician.

You can actually see the different personalities come out to play and watch as they take over the person. The personalities come and go as the Borderline moves in and out of them, oblivious. A relationship with a Borderline is a case of “Who is home today?” You never really know who is home. You never know what sort of a mood they will be in. They are unpredictable, worse than the weather.

Certainly Borderlines are in a tremendous amount of pain. On this basis, they deserve our sympathy. The problem is that it is hard to feel sympathy for Borderlines because most of them behave horrifically. The Borderline is always right. You are always wrong. The Borderline attacks you all day long when you have done nothing at all. This is called, “Fighting back.”

Borderlines are always picking fights, but they can’t see it so they see themselves as always “fighting back.” Their victims “started it,” except that they didn’t. The Borderline’s aggression is “self-defense and fighting back” even when the victim has done nothing wrong. You cannot retaliate against a Borderline. If a Borderline attacks you 500 times and you fight back on the 501st time, that is called “aggression.”

Any sort of fighting back by the victim is reason for extreme escalation, and the Borderline then starts “firing nuclear weapons.” Borderlines are extremely observant and one very interesting thing about them is that they will be able to figure you out very well, probably better than most people have ever figured you out in their lives.

They can’t figure themselves out, but Borderlines are brilliant at understanding others. Unfortunately, they do nothing good with this and only use this soul-mining information to create databases of all of your sore points, weaknesses and Achilles Heels. The create Oracle databases out of your weak spots and any time you try to fight back against them, they start shooting nuclear weapons at your rawest nerves.

As you can imagine, this behavior is infuriating. Most of us spend most of our lives dealing with folks who may be difficult at times but in general are not infuriating. Borderlines are infuriating. They are enraging. They “try to push you to your limits.” My own view that what Borderlines are doing is called, “Trying to get murdered.” It would not surprise me if a lot of battered and murdered women were Borderlines. Victims are not always as innocent as they seem. A lot of victims of violence are actually “asking for it” and I have little sympathy for such intrepid and heedless folks. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Borderlines are often suicidal. The Borderlines that I have worked with typically had racked up 8-13 suicide attempts by age ~30. Obviously, most of these are melodramatic cries for help and attention and are not serious. Borderlines often cycle in and out of the hospital. They are often in therapy, but often little gets done there other than infuriating the therapist.

There is some evidence that some folks can sort of graduate out of Borderline behavior. There are some women who get to this point at about age 40. I am not sure how healthy they are, but they do not have BPD anymore. BPD is hard to treat because the person is so shattered, everything is everyone else’s fault, and honestly, most of them really don’t want to get better.

Oh, one more thing. Almost all Borderlines – 80% – are females. Many male Borderlines are gay or bisexual, as Borderline can simply be seen as the Female Principle run amok. Male Borderlines are very bad. They are much worse than the females. They are often violent and many can be found in jails and prisons. It is hard to believe that anyone could act worse than a female Borderline, but male Borderlines accomplish this.

If you have a Borderline woman in your life, get her out of your world. Now. Not now, yesterday. Just do it.

With the onset of feminism and the unleashing and feralization of Western females, BPD has exploded. Fully 8% of US females are BPD’s. That number has been growing in recent years. I have spoken to my mother about her generation, and while women have always been nutty, there is no way that 8% of women were BPD’s in my Mom’s generation. In contrast, most women were rather sedate and controlled as being a “crazy woman” was seen as very shameful, at least in my mother’s circle. The “crazy women” in the family, friend circle or neighborhood were whispered about in hushed tones while the others shook their heads.

It is clear to me that increasing numbers of women in the US are mentally ill. This has coincided with the modern era and in particular with feminism. My conclusion is that there is something about feminism and the modern world that is making women crazy.

There is much more to say about Borderlines, but I will just leave it at this for now.

39 Comments

Filed under Borderline, Feminism, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Mental Patients, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Women