Category Archives: Personality

New Interview with Me Up

Conversation between me, Pilleater and The Adventure Kid. I really like both of these two younger guys. Pilleater is an Amerasian man who is promoting something called Asian Aryanism, which promotes the idea that Whites and Asians (NE? SE?) are superior races and they should get together to form a new mixed race.

I think he is also a separatist in that he wants to split off his own state, but instead of a white state like everyone else wants, he wants to have a site for Whites and Asians (and nobody elses). That of course is a racist vision, but it’s one that I can almost stomach, although it will never come to pass anyway.

I have always said that if you are going to be a racist anyway, you might as well hate as few people as possible. Which is why Pan-Aryanism is better than standard White nationalism. While White nationalism is bizarre in insisting that the only White people are from Europe. They conveniently leave out folks like Turks, who are excluded simply on the basis of their religion, and sometimes Armenians, who I guess are just a bit too swarthy, eh? And of course, they insist Jews are not White, but it’s obvious to anyone that Jews are White people. The WN’s just arbitrarily make this distinction because they hate Jews and wish to exclude them.

However, on Stormfront, I believe that they have been bending the rules somewhat. There was a furor a while back when 300 Armenian members were thrown off the site. But after some discussion, Don Black allowed them back on on the basis that Armenians are Whites. Iranians were supposed to be banned as non-Whites, but a number sneaked on anyway and started posting openly as Iranians. Black didn’t do anything, which seems to imply that he thinks Iranians are White.

The conversation covers all sorts of topics. It was supposed to be about the Alt Left, but we ranged all over the place like the free range humans that we are. A lot of psychological discussion, talk about SJW’s; Identity Politics; socialist and capitalist economic systems; China; Japan; socialism, nationalism and national socialism; Marie Le Pen; race and IQ; intelligence, morality and crime; guilt in sociopathy and OCD; gay male culture, behavior and psychopathology; the nature of guilt and its relation to morality and intelligence; the psychological status of modern college students; selfishness; narcissism; the Internet; the marriage of the Cultural Left with neoliberalism; intelligence and crime; Blacks and crime; and Black IQ, etc.

We talked about everything under the sun and even a few nasty things growing in the dark.

Enjoy!

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Filed under Armenians, Asians, Blacks, Capitalism, Crime, Economics, Europeans, Heterosexuality, Higher Education, Intelligence, Iranians, Jews, Left, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Near Easterners, Neoliberalism, Psychology, Race/Ethnicity, Racism, Sex, Socialism, Turks, Vanity, White Nationalism, Whites

Introverts FTW!

From We Don’t Like You Extroverts:

Forced to tolerate mean girls: I wish the extroverts at work would stop getting angry at us quiet people who have to do quality control on their work. They talk all the time, except when we have to show them the corrections we had to make. Then they get sullen and defensive and make snide remarks about how we have “eagle eyes” to find their mistakes. They expect us to take up their slack and cover for them. They gossip about everyone and compliment managers on their clothes and then get all catty after they leave the room. I despise them, but have to tolerate it for now.

This poor Quiet Person has just discovered why misogyny is a thing. But beyond that, she discovered something else, something’s that’s not a thing. That being The Sisterhood.

Feminism is doomed. How? By the simple fact that it is based on the notion of the Sisterhood, and guess what? There is no Sisterhood! Most women I know say that women have treated them much worse than men have.

I know a number of women who tell me that they are female misogynists. They actually hate women. They only like men. They’re sick and tired of their own gender. That’s ok. If they ever get too tired of them, just hand them over to me. I know how to deal with them. If they get too ornery, I’ll just tie them to the bed. That usually calms ’em down right quick!

But yeah, you extroverts realize how annoying you are? If you guys would stop projecting for maybe one minute out of your whole damn lives, you might be able to figure it out, but that would require Introspection, and you all don’t have any. We Quiets patented that invention long ago. And one can have too much of that also, like any good thing. Even water. Don’t believe me? Drink 130 glasses and get back to me, or have the coroner call me instead.

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Filed under Feminism, Gender Studies, Personality, Psychology, Women

You Can’t Win

If anyone asked me for my general view of life, this would be it.

Humans have a tremendous potential for shittiness and just generally being awful. And when they get like this, there is typically no way to turn them around. Often you just have to walk out the door and come back another day when they are in a better mood. It is seldom possible to determine why someone is being a shit, and most people will deny it if you bring it up.

Or they will get angry. Or they will say, “Well, I am being a shit because you are making me this way!” You sit back and think, “OK, how am I making this person act like a shit?” And you can never think of one single thing. You can try to change your behavior in a thousand ways to try to pull them out of it, and usually nothing works. And you will often never find out what is bothering them. If you can’t figure out what’s bothering them, how can you fix it? Even if you can figure out what’s bothering them, it’s some internal issue that you can do nothing about. You can try everything, compliment them, give them money, you name it, and usually nothing works.

Generally this is something internal to the person. Usually you have done nothing wrong except show up and offer up your face as a punching bag. There’s no use trying to make a person feel bad about being a shit. You act mean back, and now they will act twice as bad. Go submissive? Fails. Turn quiet? It sort of works, but then it turns into an ugly scene where they are not talking, and they have this look that says, “Thank God you are not talking to me, you little shit!” You can walk out the door without saying goodbye to shame them, and usually their attitude will be, “Yeah, and fuck you too! You’re leaving! Good!” They never feel any guilt about their behavior and it’s always 100% justified.

Anger is one of the hardest things to pull people out of. Anger and hate feel good. They make you feel strong, and if you are not used to feeling strong, the feeling is very empowering. Once people are told they are being angry and unpleasant, they almost never stop doing it. Generally they deny it and say they are not the slightest bit angry at all. They will throw it at you. “Oh you are just too sensitive!” They will chalk it up to humor: “I’m just being funny. Don’t I get to laugh every now and then?” Then they will get a hurt look on their face like you’re so mean, you won’t even let them laugh. You are so cruel!

You tend to get a lot of projection in these cases. So the person is sitting there being a shit, and you are wracking your mind trying to figure out how to pull them out of it, and pretty soon they start accusing you of being mean and angry. This is completely mystifying unless you can figure out that they are projecting.

Almost all the time, the anger is internal to the person. They never want to admit that, and they project their anger onto you as you are the nearest object to project it onto. If you mention that the anger is internal to them, they get furious and deny it. But it’s usually something going on with them. Something in their lives is stressing them out, driving them crazy, or making them despairing, hopeless, and impotent. There seems to be nothing they can do and no way out. They’re screwed, and it’s not their fault. It’s never their fault. It’s always those other bad people who laid all this misery at their innocent feet. Here we have the denial + projection combination that is very common.

When you are with someone like this, sometimes you can wait it out. I had a girlfriend who was like that for about the first eight hours of the day. I tried hundreds of ways of  responding to it, and nothing worked. You couldn’t even mention she was being a shit. Of course, she would deny it and get furious. You just had to wait out the first eight hours of torture and the final eight hours of the day were typically quite pleasant if not on top of the world. So the relationship was pleasant ~50% of the time, which is actually not bad as far as relationships go.

Usually you just have to leave. Just walk out the door. Don’t call them again. Wait until they call you. Tell yourself that they have a wild hair up your ass, you did nothing wrong, and it’s not your fault. Sooner or later they will call you back. No doubt they will be very nice and friendly. Accept their friendliness and never mention that they were a complete shit the last time. That conversation is sure to go nowhere, and now their nice mood will turn ugly pretty fast.

The principal goal of life is try to try to manipulate other humans, yeah that’s right, I said manipulate, so that they are shitty a minimum amount of the time and they are pleasant a maximum amount of the time. If you hope to have relationships with other people with no fights, you will never have a friend. If you hope to have romantic/sexual relationships with no unpleasantness or fights, just hang it up and go live in monastery.

You can have an incredible amount of joy in a deep relationship with deep love and good sex. There’s nothing better. But if you think you are going to get all those highs without paying for it with any lows, you are sadly mistaken. The cruel truth is that the ugliness, fighting, brushfires, forest fires, and general unpleasantness of deep relationships is simply the wages you pay to buy those great times. If don’t want the lows, you will never get the highs. If you want the highs, you will have to pay with the lows. Better to just figure that the only way to get the highs is by earning them through the lows, accept that and make peace with it, and try to focus on the upside of relationships, which can be considerable, while ignoring or philosophizing away the bad stuff as an inevitable wage to buy the gift of the great times.

Love is like a drug.

You pay for your highs with the lows, crashes, withdrawls and hangovers.

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Filed under Personality, Philosophy, Psychology, Romantic Relationships

MBTI Types

Well I just learned that I am an INFP-A. And a girlfriend seconded that enthusiastically.  We are The Counselors, The Mediators, The Peacemakers, the Healers, The Idealists. Considering that the former is my job, I suppose it makes sense.

Looking over the list of famous INFP’s, I see only one, the sociopath John Kerry, who is not some sort of an artist type. All the rest are writers, artists, philosophers, actors and actresses, musicians and movie directors. Apparently we are creative folks or a bunch of weirdo artists, take your pick.

Anyone else figure out their MBTI type? Use the comments to discuss your MBTI type or anything relating to various types or the theory itself.

259 Comments

Filed under Personality, Psychology

Updated March 9: Profile of the Evansdale-Delphi Serial Killer

Note to commenters: Please stop referring to Unsub as a pedophile. He may well be one, but that’s something that can be determined from this crime as it was not a pedophilic offense. Instead, this was a hebephilic offense. And the perpetrator could certainly be seen as a hebephile, although he’s not necessarily one. If you want to refer to the nature of the offense, use the word hebephilic instead of pedophilic. If you wish to refer to Unsub’s paraphilia, please refer to him as a hebephile and not a pedophile.

Thank you so much for this. I am getting tired of words being misused. And now we are being scientific on the board.

Note 2 to commenters: I am really getting sick and tired of saying this, but most of the material below is made up of rumors and my own opinions and theories. None of that is represented as fact. The only thing that is represented as fact as statements sourced from LE or the media.

And incidentally, the way I wrote up the case is precisely how detectives work a case. Detectives do not work cases using the scientific method. If they did, they would hardly solve one case. It’s more “We believe this for now…this is true for now…at the moment, this is what we think happened…we believe…” They are throwing out endless theories about what really happened and accepting them as (temporary) facts. They are then continuously revising and throwing out theories and creating new ones.

Being  a detective is about being wrong. Not just once, but being wrong over and over so many times your head will want to come off. If you can’t handle being wrong, then detective work is surely not for you. Finally detectives arrive at enough information to file a case against someone, but a lot of that is not factual either. They believe he did the crime. They believe that this, that, or the other happened with no way to really prove it – it’s just what they conjecture.

If he is convicted, then the theory that he did the crime is validated as fact, but I am not sure what other evidence is. And even court decisions are not scientific fact because they get overturned all the time. There are not a whole lot of 100% certain, clear scientific facts in LE work, detective work on the judicial system itself. A good portion of the decisions made turn out to be theories, temporary but unstable facts, beliefs, hunches and guesswork, all represented as fact in the court.

If you have issues with theories, opinions and what not, just quit reading and get the Hell off my site right now and never come back. I am really getting sick and tired of this BS.

Profile of the Evansdale Child Killer

by Robert Lindsay

The initial Unsub profile of the Evansdale Child Killer was written on February 25 with an update on February 28. I have updated it a lot with new information. Major changes were made in the profile.

I have been wrong many times in the past about all sorts of things, and of course I could be completely wrong about this too. But this time, I do strongly believe that the Unsub described below may be the man responsible for both of this crime.  

I am not a professional in this area. I am amateur, a dilettante. This is done more for my own entertainment as a hobby than as a profession. I do not claim that this profile is an accurate behavioral profile of the Unsub of the sort that the FBI produces regularly. I am just some amateur who is fooling around. So keep that in mind.

I am not stating this as fact. Things below may or may not be true. I believe much of the below is true because I have been able to document it as fact. Other things are more up in the air and are simply opinions that are strongly held by me. 

Profile

First of all, let us look briefly at the crime.

More than one killer? In Evansdale, this is not known. The fact that Unsub may be a member of a network of pedophiles adds weight to the theory that he may have had a partner. Perhaps the network brings men together who share common criminal interests.

Purpose of killings? There has been much suggestion of why these killings occurred, to try to prevent identification, for sex trafficking, or a mistake because one of the girls ran, scream or freaked out. None of these are true. This pair of girls was abducted for the specific purpose of rape and murder for thrills. These were thrill kills. Unsub is the sort of man who gets a strong erection when he thinks about raping and murdering little girls. This is what gets him off. As the intention was murder from the start, sadly neither girl stood a chance.

How did Unsub arrive at the crime scene? He drove to it with his vehicle, parked it near the abduction site, and abducted the girls.

Where are the girls raped and murdered? I believe that both girls were quickly removed from the abduction sites and taken away somewhere to a motorhome where they were raped and murdered. These motorhome was parked in a remote, out of the way place for three weeks. At some point during this three week period, the girls were raped and killed.

Disposition of victims. After he raped and murdered the girls, he drove them to a dump spot. In Evansdale, it was 20 miles away from the abduction site.

Body dump spot: The bodies were dumped at near a stream in a park.

Abduction zone: Unsub committed his abductions in parks near bodies of water like streams, that have one or more bridges, especially railroad bridges.

Dump zone: After he killed the girls, he dumped the bodies 20 miles away.

Crime time: Both crimes were committed on the 13th of the month, possibly because 13 is an unlucky number. The Evansdale crimes were committed on Friday the 13th, which is an especially unlucky day. The Delphi crimes were committed on the 13th and the next day, which was Valentine’s Day.

Sick humor: Unsub seems to have a sick sense of humor. He abducts and kills on unlucky days like the 13th as if to say that this is your unlucky day, girls! Rape and murder ha ha! He may have hit on Valentine’s Day for a similar reason. Here’s your Valentine’s Day gift, girls! Rape and murder! Have fun!’

Leaves town and did not come back for some time: In one of these pairs of killings, Unsub left town the day of the abductions. No one knew where he was and it was theorized that he was in some structure such as a cabin, trailer or motorhome parked in some very remote place.

Destroys evidence by three weeks: Unsub worked very carefully to remove all evidence within three weeks of the killings. He sold the motorhome three weeks after the abduction, but first he cleaned it very thoroughly, wiping down the whole structure. removing newspapers or pillows from the windows and throwing away all sheets.

Method of killing:  Unknown in Evansdale. I believe he really enjoys this part of the crime. This is where the crime reaches an ultimate peak experience for Unsub, a once in a lifetime great feeling or rush.

Unsub is aged 55-65 based on his photos, voice and other things. Roundabout let’s call it ~60.

Unsub is a pedophile, a heterosexual pedophile. He likes little girls from age 2-12, mostly around age 6-10. However, 13 and 14 year old girls are not too far out of his AOA. Many pedophiles are also hebephilic, and it’s common for pedophilic AOA’s to include girls age 13-15 because these girls still have enough of a childlike quality to attract the pedophile. By age 16, most girls are simply too grown up for all pedophiles and hebephiles.

Unsub may be a nonpreferential pedophile. That means he is may also attracted to adult females, and he may enjoy having sex with them regularly. Not all pedophiles are exclusive. Nevertheless, his sexual preference is for girls age 6-10. His attraction to adult females is lower than to little girls, but may still be adequate for adult heterosexual functioning. I may not like women his own age though. If approached by a woman his own age, he may tell her that he only dates young women. If he dates adult women at all, he will probably confine himself to the youngest possible ones. I believe he may also have sex with boys, but only if he dresses them up in girls’ clothes so they look like girls as he is a heterosexual pedophile

Unsub is also sexual sadist. He has been a sexual sadist since no later than age 14, but he has been repressing the sexual sadism at least to the extent of not being murderous. At some point in at least the last five years, this control has broken down and is no longer repressed. This has coincided with an increasingly menacing look to him.

In appearance, Unsub may be balding with white hair. In the past, may have had stringy long blond hair. He may have had a goatee and mustache in recent years, but lately he has may have shaved most of it off except for a mustache and bit of a goatee.

Unsub looks downward instead of looking people straight in the eye. This could give the impression of “looking down at others.” This is intentional, as I feel that Unsub does indeed look down on others. He thinks very highly of himself, is narcissistic and thinks he is better than others. He also thinks he can outsmart police, and I believe he has been doing just that for the last five years when he has been getting away with murder.

Unsub may have altered his appearance since the Evansdale murders. In the past he may have had rather long stringy blond hair, a mustache and a goatee. He altered his appearance since the Evansdale killings by shaving off the beard.

In the past, Unsub was often smiling and seemed happy go lucky. He looked harmless enough. He was surely molesting children, but he was not violent yet, so his face remained open and friendly.

In recent years, Unsub’s face has gotten angrier. He has been slowly developing an air of menace in recent years. This is because he has been transforming from a nonviolent pedophile into a violent pedophile. While in the past his fantasies were about non-coerced sex with children, they have now turned much more violent, and now he mostly fantasizes about rape and murder of girls age 6-10. Why he changed from a nonviolent to a violent pedophile is not known.

Unsub was paunchy for most of his adult life from age 40 on. Around 15 years ago at age 45 and probably for some time prior, he was heavier. His excess weight mostly went to his width, so he looked something like a football lineman. After age 45, he lost a lot of that weight. He has retained somewhat of a paunch since at least age 40. From 2012-present, he remained with this thinner frame, but I believe he retains a paunch to this day.

Unsub is not a happy serial killer. Instead he is a tormented one. Since the murders, he has grown much darker. He has also aged prematurely and looks much older than he did even a few years ago. His smile is gone and has been replaced by a look of sadness and especially rage. Now he looks downright mean. His friends have reacted to this by telling him he has aged. Others said things like, “Cheer up! Smile!”

Somehow this double homicide aged him and made him much sadder and angrier. This means that the Evansdale killings significantly stressed him out. Even though these type of crimes stress him out, he still commits them. That is because he is driven in some way to commit crimes like this. It is now a sort of addiction. He is addicted to rape and murder.

Unsub has few hobbies other than pedophilia. He likes to hang out in local places like taverns, coffee shops, pool halls, etc. Here he likes to relax with friends and shoot the bull. He is a member of some sort of sporting group, possibly a pool-shooting league.

Unsub’s writing appears somewhat uneducated. He makes some spelling errors that an educated American never makes. However, in his rural Iowa area, he is about as educated as most people he knows, as most of them write about as poorly as he does.

His IQ is not particularly high. It is probably ~105-110, but he probably acts less intelligent than that. This can be seen in his poor writing style.

Unsub graduated from high school. He graduated from a religious college. Unsub is not good at completing scholarly tasks. He starts them and quits or takes a long time to fulfill his educational goals. For instance, he took 10-15 years to complete a four year college degree. He has a hard time sticking to tasks and has a tendency to drag things out. Why he does this is not known.

Unsub’s employment is working class. He repairs objects in some way. He is quite good mechanically. He works as a computer consultant or repairman, a mechanic, a truck or school bus driver, or at a factory.

However, he has the same desultory attitude towards work as he has towards school. Bottom line is that Unsub is a bit lazy. He would rather kick back and enjoy himself than work or go to school. He has a problem with sticking to either work  or school. Many tasks are started but never finished, but this does not bother Unsub much.

Unsub has not always been like this. This lackadaisical style developed in middle age. As a young man, he was much more productive. At one point he even owned his own business. I am not sure about how successful this business was though.

Unsub was in the US military. He participated in one of our Middle Eastern wars. I do not know when he joined the military. However, he  suffered some sort of an injury in service and was sectioned out. This was about 25 years ago.

I believe Unsub is quite religious. He is an evangelical Protestant Christian like so many in the surrounding area. He graduated from a religious college. He is probably very active in his local church, where he is regarded no doubt regarded as a great man. He probably has a number of friends through this church. How he reconciles his strong religious faith with raping and murdering little girls is hard to figure.

Although he has been losing his looks since his mid-50’s, Unsub was an attractive man until quite recently. He had a sexy appearance in a sort of bad boy, devilish way. He appeared masculine and handsome in a tough guy way.

Women in the local area were attracted to him due to his good looks. Even after age 50, he continued to attract attractive, sexy women all the way down to age 30. A number of the local younger women used to think he is “hot” or “cute.” No doubt this has gone to his head somewhat, and he thinks of himself as a ladies man.

Unsub is a fixated pedophile and has been so since age 14 at the latest. His pedophilia is one of the major themes of his life. I do not believe he has been controlling his pedophilia, and I think he has been molesting girls for quite some time. He may have gotten quite good at it. I believe that many people do not realize that he is a pedophile. He is still probably close to some members of his family and their friends. They probably do not suspect him of being a pedophile.

Unsub has married two, and he has a number of children and stepchildren through these marriages. Relations with one ex-wife probably are not good. The marriage ended bitterly, and there were some court battles with the ex-wife accusing Unsub of various outrages in an attempt to get full custody of the children. They had joint custody for a while, but there were big scenes and battles associated with this, so it didn’t work out well. Unsub and the ex-wife have engaged in big fights in public in broad daylight.

At least one of his ex-wives has a low opinion of him. This is because she has experienced his sociopathy firsthand. Unsub was been very mean and cruel to her during their marriage.

This ex-wife is now deathly afraid of Unsub and regularly tell people this. She accuses him publicly of being a pedophile and a sociopath. She considers Unsub to be a very dangerous person. She has accused him publicly of molesting specific girls and even boys. She tried to turn him in over this, but it didn’t go anywhere. If asked about this, Unsub probably says she is making this up as a bitter ex-wife.

I believe his children may also suspect Unsub of being a pedophile. Nevertheless, they continued to visit him in joint custody after the murders. However, after some court battles, his ex-wife has now retained sole custody of most of the children. Unsub retained custody of no more than one child. In addition, the ex-wife has moved out of the area quite a ways away to another state. Her location is 400-600 miles away from her previous one.

The ex-wife has several children of her own, four or more. The ex-wife continued to have kids into her 40’s. I believe that Unsub has molested at least some of his children and that this molestation went on for years. I believe he dressed two of his stepsons up like girls and molested them for years. I am unsure of how good his relationship is with his children, but at least some of them accuse him of being a pedophile. The children are all minors or they were when Unsub was still married.

Unsub has not always resided in the Iowa area. He was born in Ohio. Then he lived for a decade in Texas. Then he lived for 19 years in Tennessee. He moved to Iowa ~25 years ago, when he was ~35 years old.

The killer does not live in either Evansdale. He’s not that stupid. But I do believe he lives or at least used to live near there. He resides or used close to Evansdale.

I believe that Unsub took the Iowa girls to a motorhome of his. He then drove the motorhome to a remote area somewhere and was not seen for three weeks when he was in this place.  Within 12 hours of the Evansdale abduction, he left the area in  Evansdale where he was staying with a relative. He stayed away for at least three weeks.

It was in this motorhome that he raped and killed those girls. He blocked out the windows with either pillows or newspapers and may have even soundproofed the vehicle in order to do this. Afterwards he cleaned the motorhome as thoroughly as he could.

Unsub does not have a lot of money, but I  he owns or did own a modest home in Iowa close to Evansdale. He may used to own a motorhome which he used in this crime and then disposed of. His principal residence has the appearance of a sparsely or poorly-furnished bachelor residence. The walls are white with a white carpet. It is not even well-lit inside, and the residence has a dim look about it, even in daytime.

Unsub is is divorced and he lives alone. He probably has little girls over at his residence from time to time, but I am not sure if he molests them there or not. He has some photographs of little girls in his residence. I do not know if he collects child pornography, but he probably has a significant collection of photos of cute little girls obtained in a variety of places. He has some photos of himself with a little girl or two next to him.

Unsub continues to drive a fairly nice car. This car is a red Ford compact.

In the Evansdale killings, there was talk of a white SUV in the area where the girls disappeared. It was never proven to have any connection with the murders. I believe that Unsub used that white SUV to commit the Evansdale crimes. It is known that he did own a white SUV around 2012-2013, but it was broken down when last photographed. Nevertheless, photographs do show a white SUV parked next to his garage.

Unsub seems to take these murders rather hard. They take their toll on him. The Delphi Murders upset him because for a time he was considered a suspect but I believe he did not commit the Delphi Murders and has been ruled out. However, he is aware that people are now actively linking him to the Evansdale killings, and this is making him worried and highly stressed out. A couple of months ago, Unsub vanished from his central Iowa city. He seemed to vanish off the face of the Earth and has not been seen since. I believe he was feeling the heat from being a Delphi suspect and he is also worried that more people are pointing the finger at him over the Evansdale murders.

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26 Comments

Filed under Crime, Criminology, Girls, Iowa, Law enforcement, Midwest, Narcissism, Pedophilia, Personality, Psychology, Psychopathology, Regional, Serial Killers, Sex, Sociology, USA

How to Act Masculine

GondwanaMan: I wanna be masculine.

There’s not much to it. Masculinity is a show. It’s a mask you put on for other men. It’s simply a behavioral display and most any man can learn to act this way if they practice.

Practice. Try to act masculine. First try to think in a masculine way. Then start envisioning yourself as a masculine man. Look at masculine men and frankly just imitate them. Imitate actors. I do that a lot. I actually imitate of a couple of porn stars from the Golden Age because I like their style. One is Jamie Gillis. He was a bastard but he had a good style.

It won’t look funny at all. Try it on for size and see how it works. Even if it feels like you are doing the most idiotic parody of masculinity on Earth that would make anyone burst out in laughter, you probably are not. You are probably just acting the way many men do all the time. Keep on practicing when you are alone. Get it to where it starts to feel pretty normal. The more it feels normal, natural and not forced, the better it will come across. At some point,  hopefully it will become a sort of second nature and you will act this way without trying.

Try not to worry so much about what others think. If you are prone to being very self-conscious and sensitive, say to yourself over and over, “I don’t care about them. I don’t care about you. I don’t give a damn what you think about anything! You think I care? LOL yeah right. I don’t care what you think!”

This sounds narcissistic if not sociopathic but if you are already introverted and sensitive, you are so far on the other side of Cluster B that thinking those thoughts will not turn you into a monster. You will be your normal pleasant self, but you will care a lot less about what others think.

This is very important. Fear is a life-killer. If you worry what everyone thinks all the time, you will hardly ever act. You won’t ask many women out. You won’t even approach many women. You might be scared to act masculine. All of these things are life-destroying because if it goes too far, you end up living an isolated life with little dating, fun or human interaction. Shy people are usually very nice, but shyness can ruin your life by keeping you from doing much of anything at all.

“If you think you’re masculine, you’re masculine, period.”

My father, who had a typical moronic view of masculinity, used to get furious at me when I said that. But it’s true.

For some reason this is very controversial with a lot of idiotic masculine men. A lot of masculine men are very stupid about masculinity. They treat it like it is some precious elixir that only the finest anointed ones are gifted with. The rest of the men will never attain it no matter how hard they try. So many men have told me things like, “They’re trying to be men. But it’s bullshit because they’re not men.” This is retardation. Got news for ya, pal. If you’re trying to be a man, you are a man. It’s real simple. If you’re trying to  be confident, you are liable to act a lot more confident.

I have known many unmasculine men in my life. Most were soft, passive and sometimes wimpy.  There are no unmasculine men who think they are masculine. Feminine, soft, passive or wimpy men know that they are not masculine. They simply don’t care, or they don’t feel that they have it in them. Trust me that most of these men did not even try to act masculine. I know this because they confided this in me.

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Filed under Gender Studies, Man World, Narcissism, Personality, Psychology

High Narcissism (High Self-Esteem), Solipsism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Differential Diagnosis

Trash: NPD is sort of like Attention Deficit Disorder. The terminology is getting tossed around a great deal but I think a vast, vast number of people would fit its criteria.

No, Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD has very precise criteria, but clinicians do screw it up. I really doubt if true NPD is overdiagnosed. It is not an extremely common disorder. However, much has been written about how we are becoming more narcissistic as a society. That may be true, but that doesn’t mean we are in an NPD epidemic.

My last therapist told me I was a narcissist – not NPD but narcissistic traits. This took me aback because I am not real fond of these types. They really rub me the wrong way and mostly they are just too much. I have one in my family and he has been known on many occasions to not be a very unpleasant person. There is a real ugly and nasty side to this disorder when it gets bad. They truly do not care about you, are not interested in you at all, and they can be very mean and cruel. Not that they care about that either. Of course they are also utterly clueless.

My best therapist has told me that I am not a narcissist. He said I am self-centered, but that’s more of a case of being all wrapped up in my own stuff to think about others much rather than being selfish. It’s related to my OCD and a lot of OCD’ers are pretty much all wrapped up in their own stuff. This is often confused with narcissism, but it’s not the same thing. It’s more like solipsism. I admit I am pretty solipsistic. It’s not that I don’t care about others. I do, but I am so wrapped up in myself all the time that I do not have a lot of energy left over for others.

He also told me that I have high self esteem. This could also be called high narcissism if you believe that narcissism = self-esteem. In that case, low narcissism would be low self-esteem. However, high narcissism in the sense of high self esteem, though it may seem a bit much, and such folks are often conceited, vain and egotistical, is considered healthy in that generally empathy is fairly well preserved. It is typically considered to be a sign of good mental health. Personally, I think everyone should have high narcissism or high self esteem. Why not? What’s wrong with everyone thinking they are great? How is that bad?

The problem is that people keep going beyond high narcissism all the way into pathological narcissism or NPD. The problem here is that now self esteem has gone so high that as it gets higher and higher, one cares less and less about and has less and less empathy for others. To put it briefly, at some point, the more you love yourself, the less you love others. I am not sure why that is, but perhaps there is only so much love available in a human.

Also at some point, self esteem gets so high that you feel better than or superior to others. This tends to coincide with low empathy. I don’t claim to fully understand narcissism as it is an extremely complex subject. I have been studying it deeply for over a decade now, and it still doesn’t really make complete sense to me, but that’s typical of a lot of mental issues. I’ve also been studying sociopaths for most of my life, and they still don’t make sense to me. I can’t for the life of me see how anyone could be like that. To me they don’t make sense.

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Filed under Anxiety Disorders, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, OCD, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Psychologists Say Trump Is Severely Mentally Ill

Well, we knew that.

The particular illness he has s called Malignant Narcissism. Although it is not in the DSM and has never even been proposed, it has a theoretical long history in psychiatry. Karen Horney did some of the best early descriptive work on it, and Otto Kernberg added to that with a superb monograph in 1984. Unfortunately, most of the writing about this disorder is coming out of the psychoanalytic community, where dubious theory is common.

Think of narcissism as self-esteem. They are the same thing, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Almost all human beings are narcissistic, and narcissism is an essential part of the makeup of any healthy human. However, as with most things, even water, you can have too much of a good thing.

Narcissism, like most things in abnormal psychology (or for that matter, on Earth), exists on a continuum.

At the far left, we have low narcissism, which could be seen as low self-esteem. This is not a good condition, but it is very hard to fix once it gets set in.

Healthy narcissism is the sort of thing that most people have.

High narcissism is better seen as high self-esteem and it is generally regarded as a sign of good mental health. Some people might find these people a bit too much, and some people refer to them as vain, conceited, or self-impressed. At worst, they can be arrogant, condescending, and cocky and they can wear out their welcome after a bit. However, if the downside of the feeling (arrogance, condescension and cockiness) are played down, high self-esteem does not generally get too much in the way of functioning well as a human being. In addition, many of these people retain a lot of empathy for others,  but as they tend towards arrogance and cockiness, they can start to seem unempathetic.

Beyond that, we move into the toxic zone of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which may also exist on a continuum of mild NPD, moderate NPD and serious NPD. If you told the first two that they had NPD, they would laugh in your face and turn it into an attack on you. The latter may well recognize that they have this condition, but they don’t care that they do, or else they like it.

Beyond NPD, we move into the area of Malignant Narcissism. This is a poorly understood construct, but I believe that it does exist and should be in the DSM. This could be seen as narcissism heading off into psychopathy. They are sometimes called Narcissistic Sociopaths.

A lot of people think that narcissism and psychopathy are on the same spectrum , as the sociopath is the ultimate narcissist. In a way he is, but it is in an odd way. To the narcissist, other humans exist, but he just doesn’t care about them.

For the sociopath, in a sense, the sociopath is the only person in the whole world. Not only does the world revolve around them but even worse, the world is them and they are the world. Other humans don’t exist as such. They exist in a way, but they are not really human. Instead, other humans are like the hammers and screwdrivers in your tool chest. Sure, they come in handy sometimes, but they’re not exactly alive. And I can take that hammer or screwdriver and do whatever I want to with it. I can throw it away, set it on fire, throw it in a river, or smash it to pieces. Which is about how a sociopath sees you – as a handy tool that is about as alive as a rock which can be destroyed or tossed aside if he desires to without any more of a thought as you would give to tossing away any nonliving thing.

Here is a good schematic on the Narcissistic continuum:

Low Narcissism (Low Self Esteem) -> Healthy Narcissism -> High Narcissism (High Self Esteem) -> Mild Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – Moderate NPD – Serious NPD -> Malignant Narcissism -> Various degrees of sociopathy and psychopathy ranging from 20-40 on Hare’s Psychopathy Scale

They kept saying Trump had NPD, but I always wondered about that. I have met a few NPD’s in my life, and I have known at least one quite well. Sure, they are insufferable, and they can be serious jerks, but they didn’t seem to have the same level of crazy as Trump. I kept thinking, “Well, severe NPD is a pretty nasty illness,and they can seem pretty nuts,” but I was unsure about that statement.

And now it all makes sense. The reason he seemed so extreme for an NPD is because he is not an NPD at all.

Instead, he is something considerably worse, a Malignant Narcissist. It is separate disorder from NPD, past NPD on the road to sociopathy. But I do not understand this illness well, and it has never been in the DSM, though it ought to be.

NPD’s can definitely be dangerous, but in general they are too obsessed with their wonderful greatness and their superb lives to commit serious violence and risk imprisonment. They also might not want to hurt their glorious public image.

The one thing you need to know about Malignant Narcissists is that they are dangerous. Now that doesn’t mean that they are ever going to do anything truly bad, and they may go through their whole lives without spending an hour in jail. But the potential for some serious bad behavior all the way up to serial murder is there.

To give you an example of how dangerous a Malignant Narcissist can be, Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Politics, Psychology, Psychopathology, Republicans, Serial Killers, Sociopathy, US Politics

Please Don’t Be an Insufferable Ass

Are you insufferable, Bob ?

Santoculto perfectly fit this definition.

I agree that Santoculto could definitely be an insufferable ass. But he also had some nice, concise and brilliant views on a lot of things, particularly human psychology.

Recall that he is gay. Gay Politics won’t let us talk about this, but many gay men are narcissistic. That is one of the reasons they used to think it is a mental illness. No one quite knows why they are like that. If you think about the very shallow gay male scene in the US with its emphasis like good looks, youth, polymorphous perversion, out of control promiscuity, endless brief, near anonymous and loveless relationships, you can see how it would create a lot of narcissists. Of course it’s horribly homophobic to bring this up,  so I guess I will be a big fat homophobe and share this with you all right now.

The gay novelist John Rechy is profoundly narcissistic.

Novelists Jerzy Kozhinski and Philip Roth are notoriously narcissistic. Kozhinski actually made a vast phony history for himself full of many things that never happened. He didn’t get called out on it for a long time, and when he finally was, he simply denied it. His books are good, but he is a bit of a literary fraud as he plagiarized and made up lies about his life. In fact, his entire life could be accurately described as a gigantic fraud.

VS Naipaul in a recent biography comes across extremely narcissistic and it is generally agreed that he was a perfectly awful person.

Kiss frontman Gene Simmons is one of the most insufferable narcissistic asses in all rock and roll, and he has a lot of competition. He is probably one of the most hated people in rock music and for very good reason. Salvador Dali was extremely narcissistic, but he was so weird that it never bothered anyone. Pablo Picasso was a huge asshole, whether he was a narcissist I am not sure, but he probably was. He had a massive ego and treated a lot of his female models like crap. He had a habit of screwing his young female models, making babies with them and abandoning the girl. He did this over and over. He was a great painter, but a lot of people who knew him well said he was an awful human being.

Many actors are narcissistic. If you think about it all of the performing arts, especially film, lend themselves to narcissism. They attract narcissists and then the nature of being a performer on a stage of some sort in and of itself drives a lot more narcissism. If they get famous, that drives even more narcissism. At some point it is probably an endless feedback loop. My mother said all actors are narcissists and she said you have to be narcissistic to be an actor. There is an old joke where the journalist has been interviewing the actor. It has gone on for 45 minutes of the actor going and on about himself enjoying the sound of his own voice. At some point, he realizes his violation and tries to rectify it.

After 45 minutes:

“But anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about you now. What did you think of my latest movie?”

Get it?

Am I insufferable? God no! I am not an NPD! I don’t even think I am all that narcissistic. I cannot stand pathological narcissists. The idea that I might be one of these people I hate so much pisses me off. I have a not of problems, but that ain’t one of them. Nobody calls me that. I used to get called arrogant, but I have been working on that one really hard. I have to work on that a part of the time when I am around people, but I cannot manage it pretty well by faking it and getting underneath people.

I do not have a lot of disdain for the people I meet in day to day stuff. Most of them seem like decent enough people even if I do not wish to make personal friends of them. There are some lowlife ghetto types around here who I dislike, but they deserve to be hated, and I do not waste time thinking about them anyway.

I have been called a lot of things, but insufferable is not one of them. However, people do remark that I have a big ego, that I have have some egotism, etc. I have had some complaints that I am vain, conceited, self-impressed, etc., but that is just a vibe you will get from my mind. You will not find me talking like that because I am not a braggart and a showoff and I hate people like that. If I do have some impressive accomplishment I wish to divulge, I have the art of false modesty down to a T, so I can relate things that would normally seem like bragging, but nobody gets upset because it seems like I am embarrassed or ashamed of this accomplishment of mine. It’s an act, but so what?

I do not care if people dislike the vain, conceited, self-impressed vibes I give off. As far as I am concerned, they should feel that way too! Everyone should think they’re great! Start being great today! What are you waiting for?

I hate insufferable people. They are often quite impressed with the sound of their own voices too and they can be downright soporific when they go on one of their endless narcissistic monologues. It’s all just too much, the whole thing. It’s way over the top and typically even offensive. You often want to leave the room when they are going on and on. Of course they cannot see anything wrong with their behavior and they will barely even notice if you walk out. You’re not part of the Me Show anyway. You’re the audience. Some of the audience is leaving before the performance is over. No big, this happens all the time. They have for all intents and purposes little to no insight into their behavior.

I think narcissism is a tendency a lot of us have to watch out for. Just go look at some pathological narcissists, figure out why you can’t stand them and use that as a model for how not to be. Watch yourself on a regular basis to make sure you are not falling into that lousy mindset. Narcissists suck, and a lot of people hate them for good reason. Do you want to suck? Do you want to be widely hated for being an insufferable ass? That’s terrible! I would be ashamed and embarrassed if I acted like that.

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Filed under Art, Celebrities, Cinema, Homosexuality, Literature, Music, Narcissism, Novel, Personality, Psychology, Rock, Sex

Egotism Versus Narcissism

Apparently I have some narcissistic traits according to a therapist. But I have seen a lot of these guys, and he is the only one who ever brought it up, so I do wonder.

Another therapist called it egotism, implied that he was that way too, and said, “So what? So you have some egotism? What’s wrong with that?”

I would agree with this. I have big ego. So what? What of it? Look around you at important people. Quite a few of them have huge egos. It goes with the territory. Now you can also become a huge asshole if you have a big ego, but it is not necessary by any means. My egotism doesn’t seem to bother anyone very much.

In fact, I note that a lot of other men feel this way too. I am not particularly arrogant, but it is something I have to work at constantly. Because I have tendencies this way, I often have to manipulate my mind when I am around certain people. I tell myself lies like, “I am a worm. I am nothing. I am zero. This person is so superior to me. I am ashamed of myself.” I don’t really believe any of that, but I can play that role if I need to and brainwash my mind into thinking it is true for a bit. You would think that people would regard a person who thinks this way as disgusting and pitiful, but possibly because I do not really believe the lie I am telling myself, apparently it just comes across and nice and friendly and not pitiful and self-hating.

When I am not doing that, I have my normal egotism thing going, which just means that I like to have a high opinion of myself. I have no idea why this is pathological, and I believe everyone should have high self-esteem. Sure it runs into arrogance, but you can control that if you try. I figure I’m great. What’s wrong with that. Everyone should think they are great. That’s how I see it.

Of course there’s no evidence that I am great, and in fact, there is a lot of evidence that the opposite is probably true, but so what?

Playing roles in life is one thing (you can technically play all sorts of different roles in life as much as the finest character actors if you work yourself into it. Actually I advise it because by playing all sorts of different roles ion life you will realize that there is no real you, there is no true self, and there’s no need to figure out who you are because its constructed and you can deconstruct it or construct new selves any old time you want. People get way too trapped up in the somewhat nonsensical belief in “being yourself” or “finding the true you,” or “figuring out who you are.” To some degree it is as silly endeavor.

Anyway when I am doing my egotist thing, I notice a lot of men are very friendly to me, and they go into this egotist mode themselves where they seem to be communicating, “Hey, I have a high opinion of myself too! I see you’re great. So I am I! We’re both great, you and me.” If high self-esteem only provokes others into a similar high self-esteem mode, I fail to see the problem.

On the other hand, narcissism is a bit like a box of matches. Sure it can be very useful in life, but it can also cause you all sorts of problems if you get careless or carried away with it. You can even burn the whole house down.

Taoism applies here. The Middle Way is moderation in all things, and I would add narcissism to that list.

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Filed under Narcissism, Personality, Philosophy, Psychology