Category Archives: Narcissism

Please Don’t Be an Insufferable Ass

Are you insufferable, Bob ?

Santoculto perfectly fit this definition.

I agree that Santoculto could definitely be an insufferable ass. But he also had some nice, concise and brilliant views on a lot of things, particularly human psychology.

Recall that he is gay. Gay Politics won’t let us talk about this, but many gay men are narcissistic. That is one of the reasons they used to think it is a mental illness. No one quite knows why they are like that. If you think about the very shallow gay male scene in the US with its emphasis like good looks, youth, polymorphous perversion, out of control promiscuity, endless brief, near anonymous and loveless relationships, you can see how it would create a lot of narcissists. Of course it’s horribly homophobic to bring this up,  so I guess I will be a big fat homophobe and share this with you all right now.

The gay novelist John Rechy is profoundly narcissistic.

Novelists Jerzy Kozhinski and Philip Roth are notoriously narcissistic. Kozhinski actually made a vast phony history for himself full of many things that never happened. He didn’t get called out on it for a long time, and when he finally was, he simply denied it. His books are good, but he is a bit of a literary fraud as he plagiarized and made up lies about his life. In fact, his entire life could be accurately described as a gigantic fraud.

VS Naipaul in a recent biography comes across extremely narcissistic and it is generally agreed that he was a perfectly awful person.

Kiss frontman Gene Simmons is one of the most insufferable narcissistic asses in all rock and roll, and he has a lot of competition. He is probably one of the most hated people in rock music and for very good reason. Salvador Dali was extremely narcissistic, but he was so weird that it never bothered anyone. Pablo Picasso was a huge asshole, whether he was a narcissist I am not sure, but he probably was. He had a massive ego and treated a lot of his female models like crap. He had a habit of screwing his young female models, making babies with them and abandoning the girl. He did this over and over. He was a great painter, but a lot of people who knew him well said he was an awful human being.

Many actors are narcissistic. If you think about it all of the performing arts, especially film, lend themselves to narcissism. They attract narcissists and then the nature of being a performer on a stage of some sort in and of itself drives a lot more narcissism. If they get famous, that drives even more narcissism. At some point it is probably an endless feedback loop. My mother said all actors are narcissists and she said you have to be narcissistic to be an actor. There is an old joke where the journalist has been interviewing the actor. It has gone on for 45 minutes of the actor going and on about himself enjoying the sound of his own voice. At some point, he realizes his violation and tries to rectify it.

After 45 minutes:

“But anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about you now. What did you think of my latest movie?”

Get it?

Am I insufferable? God no! I am not an NPD! I don’t even think I am all that narcissistic. I cannot stand pathological narcissists. The idea that I might be one of these people I hate so much pisses me off. I have a not of problems, but that ain’t one of them. Nobody calls me that. I used to get called arrogant, but I have been working on that one really hard. I have to work on that a part of the time when I am around people, but I cannot manage it pretty well by faking it and getting underneath people.

I do not have a lot of disdain for the people I meet in day to day stuff. Most of them seem like decent enough people even if I do not wish to make personal friends of them. There are some lowlife ghetto types around here who I dislike, but they deserve to be hated, and I do not waste time thinking about them anyway.

I have been called a lot of things, but insufferable is not one of them. However, people do remark that I have a big ego, that I have have some egotism, etc. I have had some complaints that I am vain, conceited, self-impressed, etc., but that is just a vibe you will get from my mind. You will not find me talking like that because I am not a braggart and a showoff and I hate people like that. If I do have some impressive accomplishment I wish to divulge, I have the art of false modesty down to a T, so I can relate things that would normally seem like bragging, but nobody gets upset because it seems like I am embarrassed or ashamed of this accomplishment of mine. It’s an act, but so what?

I do not care if people dislike the vain, conceited, self-impressed vibes I give off. As far as I am concerned, they should feel that way too! Everyone should think they’re great! Start being great today! What are you waiting for?

I hate insufferable people. They are often quite impressed with the sound of their own voices too and they can be downright soporific when they go on one of their endless narcissistic monologues. It’s all just too much, the whole thing. It’s way over the top and typically even offensive. You often want to leave the room when they are going on and on. Of course they cannot see anything wrong with their behavior and they will barely even notice if you walk out. You’re not part of the Me Show anyway. You’re the audience. Some of the audience is leaving before the performance is over. No big, this happens all the time. They have for all intents and purposes little to no insight into their behavior.

I think narcissism is a tendency a lot of us have to watch out for. Just go look at some pathological narcissists, figure out why you can’t stand them and use that as a model for how not to be. Watch yourself on a regular basis to make sure you are not falling into that lousy mindset. Narcissists suck, and a lot of people hate them for good reason. Do you want to suck? Do you want to be widely hated for being an insufferable ass? That’s terrible! I would be ashamed and embarrassed if I acted like that.

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Filed under Art, Celebrities, Cinema, Homosexuality, Literature, Music, Narcissism, Novel, Personality, Psychology, Rock, Sex

Egotism Versus Narcissism

Apparently I have some narcissistic traits according to a therapist. But I have seen a lot of these guys, and he is the only one who ever brought it up, so I do wonder.

Another therapist called it egotism, implied that he was that way too, and said, “So what? So you have some egotism? What’s wrong with that?”

I would agree with this. I have big ego. So what? What of it? Look around you at important people. Quite a few of them have huge egos. It goes with the territory. Now you can also become a huge asshole if you have a big ego, but it is not necessary by any means. My egotism doesn’t seem to bother anyone very much.

In fact, I note that a lot of other men feel this way too. I am not particularly arrogant, but it is something I have to work at constantly. Because I have tendencies this way, I often have to manipulate my mind when I am around certain people. I tell myself lies like, “I am a worm. I am nothing. I am zero. This person is so superior to me. I am ashamed of myself.” I don’t really believe any of that, but I can play that role if I need to and brainwash my mind into thinking it is true for a bit. You would think that people would regard a person who thinks this way as disgusting and pitiful, but possibly because I do not really believe the lie I am telling myself, apparently it just comes across and nice and friendly and not pitiful and self-hating.

When I am not doing that, I have my normal egotism thing going, which just means that I like to have a high opinion of myself. I have no idea why this is pathological, and I believe everyone should have high self-esteem. Sure it runs into arrogance, but you can control that if you try. I figure I’m great. What’s wrong with that. Everyone should think they are great. That’s how I see it.

Of course there’s no evidence that I am great, and in fact, there is a lot of evidence that the opposite is probably true, but so what?

Playing roles in life is one thing (you can technically play all sorts of different roles in life as much as the finest character actors if you work yourself into it. Actually I advise it because by playing all sorts of different roles ion life you will realize that there is no real you, there is no true self, and there’s no need to figure out who you are because its constructed and you can deconstruct it or construct new selves any old time you want. People get way too trapped up in the somewhat nonsensical belief in “being yourself” or “finding the true you,” or “figuring out who you are.” To some degree it is as silly endeavor.

Anyway when I am doing my egotist thing, I notice a lot of men are very friendly to me, and they go into this egotist mode themselves where they seem to be communicating, “Hey, I have a high opinion of myself too! I see you’re great. So I am I! We’re both great, you and me.” If high self-esteem only provokes others into a similar high self-esteem mode, I fail to see the problem.

On the other hand, narcissism is a bit like a box of matches. Sure it can be very useful in life, but it can also cause you all sorts of problems if you get careless or carried away with it. You can even burn the whole house down.

Taoism applies here. The Middle Way is moderation in all things, and I would add narcissism to that list.

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Filed under Narcissism, Personality, Philosophy, Psychology

No, Pathological Narcissism Is Not OK

Even water can kill you if you drink too much of it, and at some point, the normal narcissism continuum that most of if not all humans are on gets to be too much of a good thing, and you are going into pathological narcissism. Usually this is heading towards Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something close to that.

Pathological narcissists are not acceptable. They are not ok. They are not all right. They don’t live longer than others. They’re not happier or healthier than others.

Instead of being ok, the truth is that they are simply ill. It’s not normal for a human being to be that way, as it clashes badly with smooth social and occupational functions. It’s a maladaptive disorder because it turns you into the biggest asshole on the planet, and understandably causes a lot of people to dislike you just about everywhere you go.

People with NPD are generally quite damaging. They tend to damage or harm most of the people they are in relationships with. Why? Because that’s just what they do. They can’t really do anything else. Of course they have no insight, and most are utterly incurable. The longer it goes on, the worse they get, and by the time they are in their 40’s or 50’s, almost all of them are completely hopeless and often profoundly ill cases.

As you might expect, therapy with NPD’s is typically a monumental waste of time and often quite unpleasant for the therapist to boot.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy

Aryan Invasion Again and Why Narcissism Is the Core Indian Personality

Nelly (note fake British female name) an Indian nationalist, writes:

I personally find it so funny that so many people hold onto the Aryan Invasion theory with such tenacity. This theory was made popular by Hitler, which is really funny because he was also the same person who said that the superior people were those with blonde hair and blue eyes, and also went around claiming that Jewish people were evil and should be exterminated.

Today, the majority of people know that those with blonde hair and blue eyes are not superior to any other people nor are Jewish people evil and should be eliminated. That being said, why do so many people still believe the Aryan invasion theory even though it came from a man who did nothing but spread lies in an effort to brainwash people? Why are you guys so selective in what you want to believe as being true? Why does Hitler’s credibility suddenly increase for the entire Aryan theory?

I don’t usually get involved in these debates because I realize that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and I respect that. But, there is a difference between what is an opinion and what is a fact. And the fact is that the word “Arya” is Sanskrit for “noble.”

Max Mueller, who came up with the idea of two Aryan races, used this discovery as a means of showing the common ancestry between the Indians and Europeans, not as a form of racism (Esleben, 2008, F. Max Müller, Biographies of Words and the Home of the Aryas (1888), Kessinger Publishing reprint, 2004, p.120; Dorothy Matilda Figueira, Aryans, Jews, Brahmins: Theorizing Authority Through Myths of Identity, SUNY Press, 2002, p.45).

There is also a mountain of evidence that debunks the idea of there ever having been an invasion. Archeologists and researchers have never found any indication that an invasion occurred as the skeletons discovered never suggested that an invasion ever occurred  (Gregory L. Possehl, 2002, The Indus Civilization: A Contemporary Perspective, Rowman Altamira, p. 238, ISBN 9780759101722).

The majority of Western scholars don’t refer to it as an “invasion” because they are educated enough to know that it isn’t. Those who still call it an invasion are not viewed as being credible by the rest of Western scholars, but are rather seen as racist. (Witzel, Michael, 2005, “Indocentrism”, in Bryant, Edwin; Patton, Laurie L., The Indo-Aryan Controversy. Evidence and Inference in Indian History (PDF), Routledge).

Again, I’m not expressing any opinions in the last three paragraphs. I’m literally just stating facts. That is, information that has been proven to be true by people who are experts in this topic. So, if you choose to attack me, then I don’t know what to say except go hash it out with the experts who, after years and years of research, came up with these theories instead of me.

My remarks: The Aryan Invasion Theory was not created by Hitler. The Indians called themselves Aryans. They didn’t need Mueller or Hitler to make it up. Iran means “Aryan.”

Almost all Western scholars agree that the theory is true. Only a few crackpots and nuts disagree, and they are very isolated and cannot even publish in peer reviewed journals because their theories are so antiscientific. It is not a fringe theory. It is cutting-edge modern social science.

Further, I believe that there is excellent evidence of an actual Aryan Invasion that resulted in a vicious war that left many dead and entire cities in the Indus Valley razed to the ground.

And you won’t get called racist for calling it the Aryan Invasion Theory either. You might be called that by some idiot Indian, but who cares what Indians think about this or much of anything really?

This response is also interesting.

First of all, in order to show how well read they are, this Indian nationalist peppers her comment with a lot of nice references. I admit that the references are nicely done, and I commend the commenter for her scholarship. However, I must painfully point out to this apparently blind commenter that every single one of those quotes that she quoted actually supports the Aryan Invasion Theory instead of opposing it. So her references do not support her thesis; instead they disprove it!

I see so many Indian nationalists and Hindutvadis come here adopting European-sounding names, both first names and surnames.

We even had an extreme Indian nationalist here posting under “Snow is fun.” Snow is white. It’s white and cold, and there’s not much of it in most of inhabited India. To me, giving himself that name meant that he secretly wanted to be Scandinavian. And in fact, he was an Indian expat posting from Sweden.

Others post under names like “Arya” and then proceed to rip the Aryan invasion theory to shreds. And note how many of the wildest Indian nationalists have long bailed out of Shithole India for the hated White Man’s Land, where they paradoxically live so much better than they do in glorious Bharat Mata.

They hate Whites, but they disguise their identities under White first names and last names.

They hate Whites and consider them inferior to superior Indians, yet they left superior India for inferior White man land where they somehow live much better than in Mother India.

They call themselves Arya yet viciously attack the Aryan Invasion Theory.

They hate Whites but post from Sweden.

They hate Whites but call themselves Arya.

They hate Whites but come from a society that worships White skin like a God.

They hate Whites but give themselves names describing white things like snow that are only found in cold climates were Whites are common.

They hate Whites but call themselves “Snow is fun,” which to me means “I love Whiteness.”

In other words, almost all of these Indian nationalists are absolutely crazy. The cognitive dissonance here would deafen you.

Furthermore, obvious psychological complexes such as inferiority complex, envy, reaction formation, projection, denial, narcissism, false confidence, etc. are painfully evident here. The “Indian complex” seems to be characterized by hatred and envy for their “inferiors” who they secretly ape, emulate and live among. The painful recognition that their “inferiors” are actually superior to their falsely “superior” selves is blatantly on display.

Hatred, envy, false and fragile overconfidence, an inferiority complex and especially the subconscious knowledge that their “inferior” rival is actually better than their “superior” selves and the resulting shame and rage that this engenders is almost a textbook definition of the narcissist.

I suggest that narcissism is the base personality of many Indians, especially the nationalists, ultranationalists and Hindutvadis.

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Filed under Asia, Asian, East Indians, Hinduism, History, India, Narcissism, Nationalism, Personality, Political Science, Psychology, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, Religion, South Asia, South Asians, Ultranationalism, Whites

List of Famous Sociopaths

Enoch writes:

Robert, you seem to be very knowledgeable on sociopathy/psychopathy.

What famous people (excluding serial killers) do you think are true psychopaths?

Are or were?

Here is my list. Feel free to comment.

  1. Hitler (diagnosed)
  2. LBJ
  3. Max Hardcore (surely)
  4. Kenneth Lay (definitely)
  5. Tom Cruise (also very narcissistic)
  6. Robert Blake
  7. Suge Knight
  8. Bris Brown
  9. 50 Cent
  10. Harvey Weinstein
  11. Phil Spector
  12. Christian Bale
  13. Courtney Love (also a narcissist with Borderline Personality Disorder)
  14. Khan Tusion
  15. Steve Jobs
  16. Ted Cruz
  17. Ray Sharkey
  18. Naomi Campbell
  19. Saddam Hussein
  20. Dick Cheney
  21. Rupert Murdoch
  22. Ayn Rand
  23. L. Ron Hubbard
  24. Fred Phelps
  25. Mitch McConnell
  26. Grover Norquist
  27. Rush Limbaugh (also a narcissist)
  28. Bill O’Reilly (also narcissist)
  29. Dick Fuld
  30. Chris Brown
  31. Mitt Romney
  32. Bernie Madoff (certainly)
  33. Jeff Skilling
  34. Aretha Franklin
  35. Joe Jackson
  36. Eddie Nash
  37. Alan Dershowitz
  38. Mark Wahlberg
  39. Jimmy Saville (very much so)
  40. Al Dunlap (surely)

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Filed under Celebrities, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Sociopathy

Yes, Nonconformist SJW’s Can Be Normies Too

Nebulous Maximus writes:

Can SJW’s be normies? As outwardly freakish as some of them are, they are just as conformist as normies.

Actually some of them are.

I recall a friend of mine who I used to hang out with all the time in LA. He was a professional artist who worked for movie studios. On the one hand, he was deliberately eccentric and so were a lot of his artist friends. He was a “deliberately weird hipster artist type.” On the other hand, he was unbelievably Normie to the point of being a serious asshole. He was exactly like the guy who made this website, as big of a jerk as the guy who runs the Adult Social Skills site.

His behavior was partly my fault, as from 1982-1986, I was was in very bad shape mentally off in OCD Space World to the point where I was nearly insane.

There are some Cultural Left types on the Net who hate me, and they play Normies when they bash me. They call me weird, bizarre, insane, pedophile, crazy, lunatic, senseless, nuts, all that stuff. They come to the site, they read, and it makes them mad. Plus maybe they are too dumb to understand it, or maybe they are just blinded with rage.

When you hate someone, you can often call them names like weird, bizarre, crazy, lunatic, senseless, idiot, mentally ill, dangerous, pedophile, bla bla. It helps if you don’t understand what they are talking about. So in that sense, Normie can simply be a role that just about anyone can play in order to beat up their enemies. There are about 1 million social rules about how to act and 10 million about what to say, so playing Normie gives you a nice big bag of tricks you can use to beat up on people you don’t like. I have noticed that when people don’t like someone, they often start accusing them of being odd, strange, nuts, weird, crazy, mental, dangerous, pedophile, etc. The person doesn’t even have to do anything.

For instance a Normie thing to do on the Net is to call people autistic. I assure you that I am not even 1% Aspie or autistic. I do not know how many times I have been called autistic or Aspie. I don’t know why they say that, but on the Net, you call anyone Aspie if you don’t understand them or if you want to insult them by saying they are social retards.

It is quite difficult to judge whether someone is socially retarded by the stuff they write on the Net. I can typically never tell how good or bad anyone is socially just by reading their prose. How could I? I read some guy’s blog and think, “Wow he must get three new women a week?” Then I read some other guy’s writing and say, “This guy is obviously a social retard, and clearly he’s a virgin who’s never been laid?”

How could I possibly do that by reading someone’s prose? Keep in mind that I make part of my income in mental health. It is almost impossible for me to learn anything about anyone’s psychological state by reading their prose.

There are a few exceptions.

Some narcissists are so over the top that it blares out like a foghorn. And honestly, I did run across a couple of Aspies, but it took me quite some time to figure them out. They were commenting on my site, and they actually were socially retarded in the ways they were commenting, but it was not clear right away, and it took me maybe six weeks to figure it out with each one. Generally speaking, you can’t make any sort of a mental diagnosis by reading someone’s prose. And it is almost impossible to tell well they are socially. That stuff simply doesn’t come through in prose generally.

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Filed under Cultural Marxists, Narcissism, Personality, Psychology

Narcissism and Simple Egotism: Some Distinctions

Anonymous writes:

Also, a while ago, I have examined various self-esteem tests and found this one as very “thorough” (I don’t think I can put it any other way):

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3207

Supposedly my only issue is that I have too much self-esteem to the point where there is some narcissism going on, but not so bad that it is NPD. I had another therapist for four whole years and he never called it narcissism. Instead he said I had egotism going on, but his attitude was like, “So what!” And there was also a suggestion that he might have had some egotism going on himself. Anyway, he didn’t seem to think  that simple egotism was a bad thing.

This other guy was more of a stickler on not being prideful, and he was a bit wrapped up in narcissism being unhealthy. He said that I think I am “special.” The implication is also that I have some entitlement about me, and I deserve special privileges.

That is not the case at all. I do not think I deserve to be treated in any special manner. Hell, most people are not even all that nice to me. If I could even get people to have nice to me and treat me halfway decently, I would be perfectly happy. Special treatment? You’re kidding. I will never that from my fellow humans whether it’s owed to me or not, and I doubt if it is owed to me.

I had most of the narcissism taken out of me around 40 when I finally realized that about a billion really horrible things had happened to me in my life, including so many Failures that Failure should be my middle name. This was a very humbling experience and frankly it is normal. No matter what they were like before, life is very humbling and most people over age 40 no longer believe that their shit doesn’t stink.

I told my mother that the therapist had said I was narcissistic, and she fell out of her chair laughing, and then she shook her head. “Tell him to meet “Jeffrey.” Jeffrey is a member of my extended family who us around a lot. He is a classic textbook case of pathological narcissism to the point where he has full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. At this point, narcissism can quite a nasty little beast or a massive asshole, depending on how you want to look at it.

They are not fun to be around and there are some very ugly and nasty things about them that make you want to avoid them at all costs. They are arrogant and insulting and have zero interest in whatever is going on in your life or frankly you as a human being except when they are not wrapped up in crazed, sometimes violent pathological jealousy towards you. You are either a pathetic mouse who needs to be squashed or you are the envied rival who is so threatening to you that he needs to be destroyed at all costs. You can’t win with these types.

I do not think there is even a lot of narcissism. I am just your typical vain, conceited, egotistical, self-impressed douchebag. You know who they are; you have been seeing them your whole life. Just walk into any busy nightclub to witness this interesting species in its natural habitat. Sort of like the “Paris Hilton” personality except that is also shallow. I hope I am not shallow. Paris Hilton is a bit of a shallow and silly person, but I rather like her. She definitely doesn’t seem like a narcissistic little shit.

Anyway, all of the symptoms of the Paris Hilton Personality so common among celebrity types are also found in narcissists of course. The problem is that the Paris Hilton Personality only barely scrapes the surface of narcissism.

Real true hardcore ugly narcissism is pretty nasty stuff, and it goes way beyond these surface symptoms.

I do not even understand why this is a problem. Yeah. I like myself. So what! This is supposed to be a problem? Why? Look at all the people around you with low self esteem. That is far worse.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Repost: The Indian Personality: Superiority and Inferiority Complexes Intertwined

This is a great article from a ways back that neither slams Hindu Indians nor venerates but instead simply objectively describes what is going on with them. We talk about India and this subject in particular on here, so I thought this piece would be germane to the discussion. Plus, a lot of you have probably not read it. Hopefully it will stimulate some discussion.

A fine new Indian Hindu commenter named Janardhan has appeared on our blog, and he repeats some of the same things that other insightful Hindus such as ILOR, Rahul and Pranav have said. This shows us that not all Indian Hindus are bad people and that some of them are capable of looking inwards and trying to better their society. I consider both Rahul and Pranav at least to be strong Indian patriots who simply want the best for their country. As they see it, getting the best for India is going to require some massive changes, hence their critical patriotism.

Hindus have a strange mix of superiority and inferiority complexes. Deep down they massage their ego about how their civilization was ‘da greatest’ with a total ignorance about other civilizations and their achievements. According to Hindus, Ancient India compared to the rest of the world is equivalent to comparing the city of Vienna during Mozart with highlanders in Papua New Guinea. As if Ancient India was like this huge Vienna while the rest of the world were primitive.

But during the last centuries they were first enslaved by Muslims from Central Asia/Persia (whom they consider savage bloodthirsty barbarians ignoring the intellectual side of Islamic civilization which itself was plagiarized to a good extent from Greek learning) and then the Europeans.

One difference was that in the case of Islamic invaders they could hide under the carpet the invaders’ intellectual side, and they are thus dehumanized as savage bloodthirsty monsters (this label is justified though as the Islamic rulers were quite brutal). But when the Europeans, especially the British, came, they could not ignore their obvious technological superiority with their steam engines and telegraphs.

Thus the conflicting superiority/inferiority complex feelings.

They were as per their myth Numero Uno Civilization in the world, but now they are nearly at the bottom. White people with their strange but seeming superior looks and behavior give us an inferiority complex. Besides, even the Japanese/ Koreans are way ahead of us, and now the Chinese are racing ahead. Mainland Indians just cannot accept the rise of China: “Those Chinkis like the Chinkis of Nepal and North Eastern Indians going ahead of us, not possible,” we say.

Thus the desire to prove ancient India being as technologically advanced as the modern world since the modern technological world is 90% a White creation and we cannot fathom a people other than us could have done so.

I think this is same with the Arabs with their Islam. Islam, the last word of God and having an Arab as its last and greatest prophet, has fallen behind the White nonbelievers. Oh, the horror.

Blacks, well most Indians consider Blacks as some savage monkey people anyways.

I would say we Indians are some of the most racist people in the world, but our racism is very subtle.

As someone who works in mental health, I would like to point out the obvious. A person with both a massive superiority and inferiority complex going at the same time is a common creature. This is typical for Cluster B personality types: especially Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders. But it associated more with narcissism than anything else.

In fact, all proper analyses of narcissism begin with the supposition that what is going on in narcissism is often a huge inferiority complex which is apparently being compensated for by its opposite, a huge superiority complex. My view is that the worse the narcissist’s inferiority complex, the greater their superiority complex must be to compensate for it. Whereas if one feels only a bit inferior, one has only to feel a bit superior to compensate as all human beings are trying to equalize things and get at what I call the “zero state” of perfect equilibrium where everything is ok.

Many analyses of the Indian personality on this site have noted the profound narcissism apparent in most Indian Hindus. In many cases, this also looks like solipsism, but then narcissism and solipsism tend to go together anyway (Look at the Jews, the most solipsistic people on Earth).

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Sly and the Family Stone, “Everybody Is a Star”

That’s Sly and his brother and sister Freddy and Rose along with Larry Graham on vocals. Cynthia Robinson was playing trumpet. She’s one of the greatest female trumpeters ever. She died only 6 weeks ago on November 23, 2015. You will be missed Cynthia!

Everybody is a star.
Who could rain chases the dust away.
Everybody wants to shine.
Who will come out on a cloudy day?

‘Tis the sun that loves you ’round.
When the system tries to bring you down.
Every had to shine at night.
You don’t need darkness to do what you think is right.

Everybody is a star.
I can feel it when you shine on me.
I love you for who you are.
Not the one you feel you need to be.

Ever catch a falling star?
Ain’t no stopping ’til it’s in the ground.
Everybody is a star.
One big circle goin’ round and round.

Shine, shine, shine, shine.

We are all narcissists now!

Honestly, I think Sly was onto something here. Narcissism is present in most every single human being. It’s just a question of degree – of how narcissistic you are. There are normal healthy levels of narcissism, and then as it gets more extreme, narcissism gets more and more unhealthy. At the far end of the spectrum, it merges with sociopathy in malignant narcissism to the point where it is hard to tell the narcissist from the sociopath. Now we are at the monsters like Ted Bundy, one of the most famous malignant narcissists of all time.

But unhealthy levels of narcissism are all tied up with sociopathy anyway, as the two conditions have a lot in common and are somewhat similar. All of the Cluster B personalities tend to merge and overlap into something like “Total Asshole Disorder”, “Complete Psycho Disorder”, “Get the Hell Away from Me, You Monster Disorder”, etc.

These Cluster B types have what is known as “high conflict personalities.” Everywhere they go in life, they leave a tornado-like swath of chaos and destruction to varying degrees. Why? Because that’s what they do. That’s what Cluster B people are like – this is their basic style of living.

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Filed under Music, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Serial Killers, Sociopathy

Is Everyone a Bit Borderline?

Beatrix writes:

I’m convinced there’s a little Borderline in all men & women. There’s a little Narcissist too in both men & women. Self-preservation is instinctual in both sexes.
Self-preservation is a reaction to humans’ feelings of fear and insecurity. BPD & NPD are a set of maladaptive behaviors used as a means of self-preservation & emotional regulation.

2 types of BPD’s I have encountered – Those who blame other/external events for all their emotions/problems and usually seek to harm others, aka ‘high conflict’ individuals.

Those who blame themselves for all their emotions/problems (and darned near everyone else’s too) and usually seek to self harm.

If you look at the symptoms of BPD, it looks like normal femininity gone wild. Those are more classic feminine behaviors than classic masculine behaviors. Classic masculine behaviors will be more readily seen in sociopathy, Antisocial PD, and Narcissistic PD.

You realize there are 3 female borderlines for every 1 male borderline? Ever met a man who self-harms? I haven’t met one. Another clue that BPD is feminine behavior is that many male BPD’s are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also 3-1 female to male, and once again, many HPD males are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also classic feminine behavior gone wild.

What people call narcissism in women is really just normal female solipsism. Male NPD’s vastly outnumber females, although female narcissists do exist.

However, I have had men go down the list of BPD symptoms and insist to me that they must be BPD’s. It’s just because the list is talking about a lot of stuff that is pretty normal for human beings – fear of abandonment, emptiness, boredom, emotional dysregulation, black and white thinking, a lot of out of control anger, tantrums, emotional outbursts when thwarted, identity problems or uncertainty about self, goals, and interests (very common in young people of both sexes), impulsive, high time preference, disassociate symptoms, suicidality and even push-pull behaviors.

These men do not have BPD in any way, shape or form. It’s just that when you look at the symptoms, a lot of humans seem to have at least some of these symptoms.

I have worked with a female diagnosed female borderlines. Generally I would say that by age 30 your average female borderline will have wracked up ~10 suicide attempts and a number of hospitalizations. If they are ~30, and have not even one suicide attempt yet, I question the diagnosis.

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Filed under Antisocial, Borderline, Gender Studies, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology, Sociopathy, Women