Category Archives: Personality

What Is Like To Talk with Someone with an IQ of ~90?

Answered on Quora:

Tell you what. Go to a town where many Hispanic or Latino Americans live. Walk around a bit and talk to some people. Your average US Hispanic has an IQ of 90. So your average person in that town will have about a 90 IQ, and after you talk to a few of them, you should get a feel for how someone at that IQ score thinks.

You can also go find a bunch of White high school dropouts. They also have 89 IQ’s, right around the same. That would be a lot harder to do though.

I don’t want to use Hispanics as an example, but since they have an average IQ of 90, once you have talked to hundreds of them, you get a feel for what people at that IQ level are like.

I hate to say, but the difference between 100 IQ people and 90 IQ is quite noticeable, even dramatic.

My experience is with people who seem to have 90 IQ’s, both Whites and Hispanics. Their ignorance was shocking. They had never heard of labor unions, the Latin language, or artificial respiration.

One told me that Mixteco, an family of Indian languages in Mexico with ~40 different languages in it is a dialect of Spanish! Of course it isn’t. It’s an Amerindian language, as far from Spanish as Chinese. When someone is that preposterously and idiotically wrong, I don’t even argue with them. I just nod my head.

One told me Salinas is right next to San Diego, and he laughed at me when I insisted it wasn’t. On the contrary, they are 400 miles apart. This guy grew up in Salinas, and he had no idea where it was on a map within hundreds of miles!

Starting to get the idea?

They simply have no use for what a lot of us would call book knowledge. They exist at a much simpler level, and I imagine they are probably happier than we brooding brainiacs are.

However, they are certainly intelligent enough to do their jobs as restaurant clerks or servers, supermarket cashiers, secretaries and whatnot. They do very well at those jobs. They’re in their element.
Also their ignorance is not dangerous the way the ignorance of others is. As you move up on the IQ scale towards 100 or 110, you start finding people who are horribly ignorant, can’t think properly, but are just smart enough to get the complete wrong answer and end up reading you the wrong way, interpreting innocent remarks as bizarre, insane, incomprehensible, or dangerous.

In other words, they are too stupid to get the right answer (which is fine) but they are just smart enough to completely misread you and get the absolute wrong answer.

Some are too suspicious due to ignorance, but they are pretty easily ignored. Simply don’t ever speak to them or deal with them at all.
On the other hand, the 90 IQ person just listens to you and either understands you or doesn’t. If you are incomprehensible, they just give you a blank look or ask what you are talking about. They aren’t smart enough to read you the wrong way and get the wrong answer, because they are not coming up with any answer!

90 IQ people are pleasant enough. Most are rather simple people who do not have strong emotions. They breeze through life don’t want to cause a lot of worries, fights or problems. They take life as it is without challenging it, seeing through it, or feeling angry or frustrated with it.
They live for simple good times, conversation about basic life issues and especially people, have some understanding of psychology, and like to gossip. Some of the older ones have some understanding of business, law, taxation, duties as a citizen, how to negotiate around government and insurance bureaucracies, and even medicine, believe it or not.

They don’t expect much out of life, but they don’t cause many problems either because a lot of problems are caused by people thinking too hard and getting the wrong answer.

90 IQ people don’t ever think too hard, so they end up being rather pleasant, happy and enjoyable people.

They like jokes, sex, and food. They love to joke and laugh. There are some who work at stores around here who I joke with, tease, and laugh with all the time. We make fun of each other in the simple, friendly, and non-offensive way of close friends.

I don’t want to have a brain like that, but in a way, I envy them. It must be so much easier to breeze through life. Maybe the less you think, the happier you are.

So there is your 90 IQ person, a mixture of good and bad. The ignorance is not good from my POV. It won’t fly with me, but these people are almost four SD’s below me. I won’t have close friendships with them, but casual acquaintanceship is pleasant enough if you keep the discussion to the basic commonalities of human existence that we all share.

On the other hand, their ignorance could be seen as outset by their many positive qualities in their simple, easy-going, laughing, joking, non-serious, fun-oriented attitude towards life.


Filed under Hispanics, Intelligence, Personality, Psychology, Race/Ethnicity, Whites

Can Your IQ Increase During Adolescence?

Answered on Quora.

Yes, oddly enough, IQ does move around somewhat, including gains or losses of up to 10–15 points, during adolescence. It is not quite known why IQ can move around a bit in adolescence, but in that stage of life, you can move around in a lot of ways. Your personality is not fully formed yet, so we cannot diagnose personality disorders in adolescence.

In addition, you can intervene with some dangerous adolescents, and if you work hard enough, you can make some good progress with them. I recall a young man who seemed to be headed for a career as a rapist, but they grabbed him as a teenager and threw him into intensive therapy. He’s now 40–50, and he hasn’t raped anyone yet. Some adolescents may be on track to seriously assault, attempt to kill or kill other people. I believe that if grab them early enough as teenagers and work hard on them, we can at least get to where they don’t kill anyone during their lifetimes. I have had some good success with people like this myself.

In adulthood, your IQ gets a lot more stuck and it’s hard to raise it. Long ago when I was in high school, a friend told me that a psychologist told him that you could raise your IQ ~15 points even in adulthood if you really put a Herculean effort into it, but it’s so hard to do, that most don’t do it.

He also said that you hit a ceiling at 15 IQ points gain, and you can’t gain any more than that. I think you might be able to lose ~15 IQ points if you sit on your butt, never think or open a book, or stay stoned or drunk a lot. But you will probably hit a floor where you can’t drop it anymore no matter how much of a slacker you are.

Large IQ declines are sometimes seen in illnesses, particularly illnesses of the brain. There is a woman on Quora who documented I believe a 57 point drop in IQ due to her Multiple Sclerosis. She was at Genius IQ before and she fell down to Low Normal. Other MS sufferers also complain of IQ drops. MS is a disease of the brain, so it makes sense.

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Filed under Health, Illness, Intelligence, Personality, Psychology

Is It Rude If You Don’t Keep Your Eye Contact when People Talk to You?

Answered on Quora.

You are not supposed to yell at someone over things like that, but then I am an introvert and I hardly yell at anyone over anything, even when I probably ought to.

On the other hand, an extrovert may well yell at you for something like that because, well, that’s just the way they ride. This is one of things that makes it hard for us introverts to get along with extroverts.

They’re always raising their voices, getting angry, sort of yelling, and blowing up a little bit. Then later on they act like nothing happened. I guess they do this as a matter of course with everyone they know. To us that seems mean and it also seems like there is something wrong with them, like they can’t control themselves very well.

Now we introverts, wow. I mean someone yells at us for no good reason? To us that means the whole relationship is over. We can go years without even raising our voices at a good friend or lover. We think if you ever raise your voice at someone, you better have a damn good reason.

Avoiding eye contact is a serious social violation, but some very shy people just do it that way. It tends to shut down most conversations on its own though. If I am talking to someone and they are avoiding eye contact with me, that conversation is going to be over pretty soon. I must say that if you go about avoiding eye contact with others regularly when you talk to them, you are committing social suicide.

To me, it’s rude to order someone to look me in the eyes. I would never say that. But then I am very reticent about confronting or engaging people in all sorts of adversarial ways. I am just not an aggressive person. Anyway, I have been told a lot that I don’t look people in the eye when I talk to them. Not so much anymore, more when I was young. I always thought I was looking them in the eye, but I guess I wasn’t, or maybe not enough!

I can be very soft-spoken myself, and people do ask me to repeat things fairly often. I would probably talk louder in that class. If someone was speaking so softly that I could not hear them, I would tell them to please speak up. But I would say it very nicely.

Often if you are in a quiet place, the other person will just start speaking softly too, and then you have two soft-spoken people conversing in a quiet environment. To us introverts, that’s a gloriously intimate event, one of life’s most special pleasures. There’s something very special about two friends speaking in very soft tones to each other in a quiet environment. It’s just you and then, alone together against the world. It’s beautiful, really, or at least to an introvert.

And if you are with a woman, and she starts speaking quietly along with you in a quiet place, that often means she’s up for something intimate and sexually oriented, so that’s another plus. By lowering her voice like that, she is lowering her guard and opening up her door or gate for you, so to speak. She’s also descending to a very intimate place with you. It would be unusual for her to do that with only platonic overtones.

Things are getting sexy, man! Bust a move, brothers! Go for it!

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Filed under Culture, Personality, Psychology, Romantic Relationships

Something Wrong with my About Page?

I think a lot of my haters people simply hate me for being me. An example is my About page. For some reason, almost everyone on the Net hates that page. I think one person on the whole Net, a guy on American Renaissance, actually figured out what I was trying to say on that page.

I’ve reread it 5,000 times to try to figure out what’s wrong with it, but I’m stumped. It’s actually rather clever, and I think it’s pretty funny too. Sure, it uses some big words, but if you can’t handle obscure vocabulary and lexical gymnastics, you’re reading the wrong damn site. is that-a-way. You know, the site most people hang out on?

Almost always when someone posts that About page, the reaction is, “Wow, that guys really insane/crazy/lunatic/mentally ill/weird/freaky/bizarre/incomprehensible.” The About page is apparently evidence of insanity. As someone who works in mental health, you would think I know a thing or two about that. I’ve read that page over and over looking for sins of mental disorder or dysfunction, and for the life of me, I can’t see any signs of psychosis or  any mental illness on Axis 1 or 2 on that page.

The latest is that the About page is very weird, disturbing, and creepy, and it makes people very uncomfortable. Why? What’s so weird about it? How is it disturbing? Where’s the creepiness? Why in God’s name would a page like that make you creeped out or uncomfortable? I don’t get it.

Guess what? That About page is me. It’s really, really, really, really me. If you hate my About page, you simply hate me because that page is me at my absolute essential self, my being, my soul, my Dasein. You don’t hate me for one sentence I said or the way I walk or how I looked at that waitress or the strange expression in my eyes or some funny mannerism I just made. You don’t hate me for some minor situational behavior. It’s much worse. If you hate the About page, you hate me at my very core essential self. In other words, you’re an enemy. When someone hates you for being you, hates your true, pure, real, authentic self, they’re gone. There’s no bringing them back, and nothing you do can change them because you can’t stop being you.

More importantly, if someone hates you at your deepest inner self, your very Being, why on Earth would you want to change yourself to please this person?

You know what? What you see is what you get. You either like me or you don’t. You either love me or hate me. Take your pick. And if you hate me for simply being me, if you hate me at my very essence of selfhood, I have only one thing to say to you:


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Filed under Personality, Philosophy, Psychology, Vanity

Types of Haters: Situational Haters

In some cases, your behavior will be such that you are turning off large numbers of people most places you go. I have gone through some phases like this. Honestly, I was suffering from an anxiety disorder at the time, but boy did it make people hate me. If lots and lots of people are hating you everywhere you go, you should be able to piece together some sort of a reason.

For one reason, when that many people start hating you, a lot of your haters are going to be basically good, decent people who you have driven off for some reason. Good people like this don’t like to hate people, so if you turn them off, they will often tell you why. The problem is that they almost never come right out and say it. They will tell you what you are doing wrong, how you are turning them off, but they will only say so by hinting around in very roundabout ways.

If you are good at reading minds, you might also be able to figure it out. If you have good self-awareness, you can monitor your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and note when you set people off.

This is harder to do with your thoughts, but I have gotten to where I can literally tell that I am turning people off with my thoughts. Then you can figure out exactly which thought patterns it is that ” make people mad. “I upset people when I have X particular thoughts” or “I upset people when I start thinking in X particular manner.”

If you monitor your feelings, you can do the same thing. “I notice when I feel X way, people don’t like it.”

Behaviors are much easier, but you have to figure out exactly which of your behaviors turned someone off, and it’s often not so simple. Someone might be mad at you for something you did six hours ago, or even yesterday.

In order to do this, you need to have excellent consciousness of your own thoughts, feelings and even behaviors. I doubt if most people do and even if they do, they’re probably too insecure to admit they are wrong.

These situations are exceptions to the Hater’s Rule. These people are not Essential Haters. Essential Haters hate you deep down inside and there’s rarely anything you can do about it. These people are lost to you and you need to ghost them.

But when you are seriously screwing up in life as I was when I was ill, you are going to get a lot of Situational Haters. They don’t really hate you at your essence. Instead they hate some particular thoughts, feelings or behaviors you are engaging in. These people can actually be brought back around, believe it or not. If you can stop the thoughts, feelings or behaviors that bother them, most of these people will forget about what you did to make them mad and they will indeed come back. You can make friends or acquaintances with them.

This is because these people were not comfortable hating you in the first place. They didn’t hate you at your core, they simply disliked some of your behaviors. People who only dislike your behaviors and not your core tend to be better people. They think of themselves as nice people and they don’t like to hate others. Your behaviors are making them mad, and this makes them upset because as good people, it feels bad to hate someone for some silly behaviors. Deep down they wish you would stop doing whatever you are doing and start acting better so they could like you as they wish to do.

It’s important to figure out how many people hate you, where, and when. There’s lots of people who hate me on the Net but not a whole lot in real life. This is because contrary to my Net haters, I am actually a pretty decent guy who is friendly and acts quite normal most of the time. This means that these people hate me just for some crap I am writing and that there is nothing wrong with my core as a person. If I was as awful as my Net haters say, just as many people who hate me in Meatspace as on the Net.

If most people more or less like you or  are indifferent to you but  you have a few haters, you are probably doing ok. I am constantly monitoring my behavior everyone I go to see what affect I am having on people. This means that I can figure out when some particular behavior of mine made upset someone because I am looking for things like that all the time.  People who are indifferent to you don’t really hate you. They don’t care enough about you to hate you. Most people are pretty indifferent to most people they meet. Indifference isn’t hate. They’re two different things.

However,  if you are starting to turn off lots of people everywhere you go in life, no e exceptions as has been the case a few times in my life, you really need to look at whatever you are thinking, feeling or behaving that is making people mad.

It’s not possible to be a normal, decent, friendly and nice person and still have most of the world hate you. This is the view of the paranoid. Most people are not that evil. In other words, if you are making people dislike or hate you everywhere you go, you are probably doing something wrong or there is something wrong with you. Some deformed people elicit reactions of hate everywhere they go, but it is not due to changeable behavior. Instead it’s due to their deformity. Still there’s something wrong with them. Bottom line is if too many people are hating you too much of the time, there is something wrong with either you or your behavior and you need to look into that.

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Filed under Personality, Psychology

You’re Weird, You’re a Nerd, You’re Crazy and Other Retarded Normie Insults

If someone thinks I’m a nerd, how do I fix that? Your average normie idiot says, “Duh, quit being such a nerd!”

If someone thinks I’m weird, how the Hell do I fix that? But what if, as is typically the case, I haven’t the faintest idea of how I am being weird in the first place? Likewise, normies will always say, “Duh! Quit being so weird, you idiot!” I have been hearing this most of my life, but after four decades, I still can’t figure out what I do that’s so weird.

When someone tells you “you’re a nerd” or “you’re weird” not only are they being normie retards, but they aren’t really telling you anything at all. Because “you’re a nerd” or “you’re weird” is not an objective criticism.

If you think I am a nerd, no problem. I want to know exactly what I am doing that is so damned nerdy. Then maybe I can fix it.

Likewise, one of the least helpful things you can say about someone is that  they’re weird. You think I’m weird, no problem. You certainly won’t be the first one! But if you think that, I want to know how exactly I am being weird. What precisely I am doing that is so weird? I need to know this so I can figure out how to fix it.

I almost never call people stupid normie insults like “nerd” or “weird” or especially “crazy.” I’m way too smart to be a normie retard like everyone else.

Even if I think someone is weird, I will usually describe precisely what it is that is weird about that person. But it’s not an insult I use much, mostly because I think weird is a compliment, not an insult.

I almost never just call someone “crazy.” Of course, I work in mental health, so even if I do call someone crazy, I assure you that I am going to lay out precisely what it is that is crazy about that person. I might even throw in a genuine DSM diagnosis to back it up. But it’s not a word I use once because once again, within limits, crazy is more of a compliment than an insult to me.


Filed under Personality, Psychology

Solipsism Is a Core Aspect of Female Nature

One uncomfortable fact of life that any halfway wise and honest man who can hear and see figures out at some point in life (I didn’t figure this out until I was in my 50’s) is that females are naturally solipsistic. It’s their basic nature. The more you hang around with women and especially if you get into close and intimate relationships with them (and  the more the better) the more this becomes so starkly apparent that it is almost impossible to deny it. The only way you can deny it is by lying to yourself.

In other words, women, like most of us flawed humans, are all wrapped up in themselves most of the time. But then men, like most of us flawed humans, are all wrapped up in themselves too. Mother Theresas are like four leaf clovers.

The youngest ones of course are the worst of all. This starts around age 16 and certainly by 17 when a female finally recognizes herself as a sexual object for men (which she literally is no matter how much feminists complain). Hence the endless poses, standing in front of the mirror and now endless photos of themselves and even videos of themselves, often with all sorts of posing, the makeup, the outfits, etc.

All of this feeds the histrionic and solipsistic nature of the female to make herself up as a sex object for men who plays all sorts of roles. Hence the constant changes in hair color, style, makeup, clothing, etc.  – these can all be seen as constantly changing roles that women play in their sexual persona – which is frankly directed more at other women (presumably competitors?) than at men. Women have told me that women dress up, wear makeup, and change their outfits and hair all the time to impress other women, not impress men.

“Women dress up for other women. It’s to impress other women,” a particularly perceptive 43 year old blonde divorcee told me several years ago while openly flirting with me over a coffee at a Starbucks. “Men will fuck anything,” she told me, “There’s no need to pretty yourself up for men.”

That solipsism is an essential trait of the Female Character should not be taken as an insult. As in most things, the Female Character has a masculine corollary in the Masculine Character. Hence on the metric of selfishness (and all humans are selfish no matter what  you think, and necessarily so) the layout looks like this:

Character                  Masculine     Feminine


Self-centeredness    narcissism    solipsism

Men are naturally narcissistic, and woman are naturally solipsistic. Pick your poison. We are dealing with basically selfish humans here, and humans are flawed by nature from birth itself.

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Filed under Feminism, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Narcissism, Psychology, Sex, Women

Problems of the Arab Mind, with a Nod to Raphael Patai

Interesting comment on the site from this old post, which I really ought to run again. It sure would be nice to talk to this woman some more. I would like her to elaborate on her comments here. From the way she describes it, it is almost like Arab culture is an actual Culture of Narcissists, with most of the men being narcissistic mostly due to how they are raised. And yes the women are raised to feel inferior from the very start. This is the case in family life even from the early years. It is clear to the Arab girl growing up that the boys and men in the family are superior to the girls and women.

I totally agree with Robert. Being cunning while having no resources is natural to them. They also involuntary gaslight everyone around them 24/7, from business tactics to the closest people in their life (Yes, even family).

I am Latina and after being married to one and traveling to North Africa several times, I can assure you it takes their holidays of Ramadan to get them to actually help other people. They can walk right past a child dying of starvation and not offer and feel no remorse. They are unbelievably selfish to a point an American could never grasp. This is what allows them to get into relationships with other narcissistic Arabs. It’s sickening really because all women want is love, and a woman will never be happy married to an Arab for long.

They have an uncanny ability to manipulate and gaslight/brainwash people. It’s really fucking scary. All that charm with their good looks fucks your head up. They will break your spirit, disconnect your soul from your body, and hold it in a suspense state. I finally broke away after 13 years of loving and hoping he would change. I had to literally start recording our conversations because he would have me questioning my own sanity. When I was alone I would play those conversations back to myself because I honestly couldn’t remember at the time what was going on around me.

It’s all just so sad. I lost all those years living in CPTSD, and now I’m in total isolation. So what I’m saying is stay away from them as much as possible or you will be sucked in. Keep in mind I am a professional. I am a current member of SHRM and also a Human Resource Director.

The sad part is their women stand up for them because they were born and breed to be slaves via humiliation from the beginning. This is the way cults, the military, and other organizations manipulate their members to mind control them. These women don’t even know that they were born to gaslight themselves. Sad but true.

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Filed under Arabs, Culture, Islam, Narcissism, Personality, Psychology, Race/Ethnicity, Religion, Romantic Relationships, Women

High Self Esteem Does Not = Narcissism

Everybody thinks that high self-esteem and narcissism are the same thing. Maybe 90% of folks on the Net talking about narcissism believe this. They’re all wrong. Yes, all narcissists (NPD’s) have high self-esteem (too high really), but many people have high self-esteem who are not narcissists ( NPD’s)

By the way, I have an official opinion from my favorite therapist, a Clinical Psychologist i have known for years, that I do not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Idiots on the Net call me “narcissist” all the time, but they do not understand the word. But I was concerned enough that I was getting called this that I contacted my old therapist. The reason was because I was worried I was a narcissist (NPD). Why worried?

Because to tell the truth, I really do not like narcissists or NPD’s too much. I have known a few of them, and they turn me off. Some of them are out and out awful. The idea that I am one of these people I dislike so much was concerning to me. I would like to point out that it is dubious if anyone with NPD would ever worry about being a narcissist. The fact that you are worrying about such a thing in the first place indicates that you are probably not one because narcissists just don’t do that.

My therapist said I have “high self-esteem” which he said is generally regarded as a sign of good mental health. Please note that in recent years there has been a lot of backlash against high self esteem, with a lot of people saying it is not as good as we thought it was.

I now recognize that most of my best friends and role models of old had high self-esteem. Few if any of them were actual narcissists.

Most physicians, attorneys, professors and others with high positions I have met have high self-esteem and big egos, but few of them seemed to be actual narcissists.

I have dealt with a few famous people in my life, as in people who have Wikipedia entries, and they had very high self-esteem. In fact, some were out and out arrogant assholes with egos the size of small planets. But I doubt even these pricks were actual narcissists. They were just typical famous people with huge egos. Having a huge ego is a typical outcome for famous people, and big egos are omnipresent among those holding high positions in the professions.

The thing that is missing is the abuse. Simply having an excessively elevated opinion of yourself is not a definition of narcissism. Yes, narcissists have this, but many non-narcissists do too. The non-narcissists have what is called “high self-esteem.”  The narcissists have behond high self-esteem on the Self-Esteem Highway off into full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

My therapist also said that another word for self-esteem was narcissism. So people with low self-esteem actually suffer from low narcissism, most folks have ordinary levels of narcissism necessary for any healthy life and people with high self-esteem have what is called high narcissism, which as noted, is thought to be a good thing. The problem is that as your self-regard grows higher and higher, you start to care less and less about others.

Simply put, abuse is an integral part of any NPD diagnosis. You can have an ego the size of Jupiter, but if you are still a good person who is nice and kind to other people, there is no way on Earth that you get an NPD diagnosis because we think that you are functioning well.

No abuse, no narcissism.

I don’t engage in narcissistic abuse of others. I have healthy friendships and relationships with women ( some of the later even go on long-term, as in years) and I get along well with at least some family members. Narcissists don’t have healthy relationships. Their relationships are full of narcissistic abuse and all the crap that goes along with that.


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Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Response to Do Intelligent People Realize That They Are Smarter Than Anyone Else Surrounding Them?

Here is an unpleasant but typical response to my answer from Quora. This is such a typical response or answer that it could nearly be cookie-cutter. The IQ Forum is a great place for savants, geniuses, and other gray matter freakazoids to go on about their beloved secret secret, but sadly, it’s also badly invaded by IQ haters, almost all of them liberals.

You have to wade through endless tiresome pages of liberal screed and screed, of liberal snicker and snark about how IQ means nothing, how the tests don’t measure intelligence, how a high IQ only means you scored well on a test, how everything else in the world is important because IQ isn’t, how really high IQ people never talk about and those who do are not that smart (an American lie), how all of the other eight or 80 or 800 different types of intelligence are just as good as IQ, how everyone needs to shut up about IQ (so why are you in the IQ section?). 

You must wade through eye-drooping yawners such as the endless annoying conflation of intelligence and wisdom (which are not the same thing), the neverending remarks about the obvious, like how intelligence does not equate to success – duh, the repetitive copypastas of very high IQ (160) Stephen Hawking’s painfully retarded remark about IQ, the constant examples of high IQ fools, idiots and failures, over and over, drearily and boringly.

All of the liberal IQ-hating tedium and pablum, tirelessly reiterated and regurgitated like some liberal verbal perpetual motion machine, on and on, the same old liberal same old, the same tired liberal shit, the same snoozing Liberal IQ Denial which is really, let’s face it, Liberal Intelligence Denial.

This post, while perhaps well-intentioned, ironically comes off a bit arrogantly. You seem consumed with how smart you are—navel-gazing, in a way, and feel free to express this only in the safety of an online medium. It smacks of narcissism that you feel is too dangerous to express in the real world. I may have misgauged the tenor of your post but it seems superfluous and states the same thing in more than one way. We get it, you’re incredibly smart.

I also think there’s something fallacious about your conviction: while your IQ may be in the 99.99 percentile, this is only one way of measuring intelligence. Does your IQ mean you could be Beethoven, Steve Jobs, or even a civil rights hero not requiring “objective” genius? Of course not. Only a TINY percentage of the population can achieve those heights and it’s safe to say that IQ is only a small piece of the puzzle. Other factors, not reflected in an IQ test include creativity, emotional intelligence, memory, articulacy and language skills, charisma, and more.

IQ Hatred is the American disease. It’s deeply embedded in our culture.

Sigh. You just can’t escape the liberal IQ bigots, can you? Even on the Quora form IQ section which has been specifically set aside for us high IQ types as nearly the only place in society we can talk about these matters due to attitudes like the commenters, the IQ haters and IQ bigots swarm right into our safe space IQ bar nevertheless and start throwing chairs around and picking fights.

We know. We know we can’t talk about this shit. We know it’s a social faux pas. We know it’s a social violation. Mostly due to prejudiced liberals like the commenter. That’s why we mostly never talk about it, especially in public with folks we do not know well. Alas, even here in the IQ section of Quora, our one tiny safe place on Earth where we can go on and on about our brains, it turns out to be a damned social violation even here.

Narcissism which is kept hidden to yourself and hence invisible to anyone isn’t even narcissism.

Narcissism is NPD – a personality disorder.

Anything less than that is relegated to self-esteem. Narcissism and self-esteem are synonyms. High narcissism just means high self-esteem, and it’s generally seen as a sign of good mental health. Thinking you are hot shit or the cock of the walk or having a high opinion of yourself is not necessarily narcissism. In fact, many such folks have robust mental health.

Vain and conceited people are not necessarily narcissists. Most such folks simply have high self-esteem.

Having a big ego does not necessarily mean narcissism. Most such folks simply have big egos, often because they have been very successful.

I have dealt, usually fleetingly, with some pretty famous people in my life. Like have their own Wikipedia entries famous. Quite a few had huge egos, and arrogance was extremely common. You feel like you are talking to a 20 foot high marble statue staring down its nose at you from above. It’s a very humbling experience. Yet I think most were not narcissists. They just had egos the size of small planets, and often for a good reason.

Narcissists are assholes. All their self-esteem is for themselves, and there’s nothing left over for anybody else. They don’t care about others. They don’t like or love others much. As long as you still love other people and treat them well, you can have an ego the size of Jupiter and not be a narcissist.

The conflation of egotism/self-esteem with narcissism is ubiquitous in US society. Usually the folks doing it are fairly educated. But they all wrong, and many are even projecting.

Once again, “hidden” narcissism isn’t even narcissism because narcissism is pathological and is defined by causing interpersonal difficulties. If nobody can see it, it’s not doing anyone harm.

PS I work in mental health.

Not sure what the commenter’s IQ is, but I wonder if it is in the very high IQ range. I doubt it. Because you see, someone in that range would not have written his post because he doesn’t understand very high IQ people, probably because he is not one. I have met many very high IQ people and observed many others in my life. My whole family is high to very high IQ.

The thing about very high IQ people is that it is quite common for them to be very aware of this fact most of the time. And most of them love to talk about it if you get them alone, contrary to the American lie that if you talk about, you don’t have a high IQ because supposedly high IQ people do not need to talk about it.

Well, maybe they don’t need to, but a lot of them do talk about it, and I will bet you good money they were not lying about their scores.

In fact, it is quite normal for a very high IQ person to talk about it. I have courted and dated a number of very high IQ women, and every one of them loved to talk about this subject. Why not? If you are superior in some way, go ahead and take your pride. You deserve it.

They are extreme outliers in terms of IQ, and like most people with a superior talent, they tend to be a bit obsessed with it, which is normal, and I say good for them.

As IQ rises, it becomes more and more one of the most important things in their lives. Their intelligence is so far above average that they are nearly aliens, and this is jarringly apparent nearly everywhere they go. Their minds are always churning along like a Cray computer and that’s hard to ignore. You are being reminded of your super-brain all the time, every hour, and often more than that. So it ends up being on your mind a good part of the time because your super-brain takes over your world and starts coloring and changing everything about it via its distorted lens.

By the way, navel gazing isn’t narcissism either. It’s called solipsism, and yes, I am solipsistic. A lot of very smart introverts are. Nearly all females are. As you don’t like solipsists, I assume you don’t like females.

Lastly, IQ clearly does not correlate with success. My individual income last year was in the 27% bracket, and that’s the most money I made in my life. Nevertheless, such outcomes are not uncommon for very high IQ people, and as IQ rises above mine past 150 and especially to 160 and up, this problem gets so much worse. A lot of 160+ IQ men are single, celibate, never married, painfully introverted, and living in poverty or near poverty in a single apartment. It’s nearly a typical outcome.

Lastly, IQ is the only measure we have that measures intelligence.It is a test of, more than anything else, pure brain speed.

  • A higher IQ means a faster brain. 
  • It also means a more efficient brain. The higher the IQ, the better your brain utilizes glucose.
  • It also means a larger brain. As IQ rises, so does brain size.
  • Higher IQ also means superior abstract thinking.
  • Higher IQ means better short term and long term memory and also faster and better recall (to contradict the commenter’s statement about no tie between IQ and memory).
  • Very creative people tend to have high IQ’s. The best musicians and artists tend to have high IQ’s. I’ve known a lot of them.

Success in our society is not well correlated with intelligence, as society tends to value a lot of things more than sheer brains. This is the lesson of the commenter’s last paragraph where you discuss things IQ does not measure.

IQ is the only measure of intelligence that we currently have. It’s not that it’s only one of the ways – it’s the only way, period.

The commenter makes the mistake of correlating geniuses – Jobs, Beethoven, MLK – with very high IQ people in the genius category. 1% of the US is in the genius category. That’s 3.3 million geniuses in the US. Not all of them will grow to be the folks the commenter discusses of course. Geniuses like Jobs and Beethoven are very rare. Of course they also tend to be very high IQ, but just because you are one of the 3.3 million does not mean you are like Beethoven.

This is another mistake that Americans often make – conflation of genius in the sense of Mozart or Jobs with genius as an IQ metric = 140 IQ, just a place on the IQ highway. They are not the same, but people like the commenter conflate them all the time for some unfathomable doggoned reason.

Creativity: The most creative people tend to have high IQ’s.

Emotional intelligence: Right. Although EQ and IQ correlate fairly well, many very high IQ people are social retards or especially social failures. And as IQ rises, in fact, social failure, mostly due to sheer weirdness, rises.

Memory: IQ measures memory.

Articulacy and language skills: IQ measures language skills very well, articulatory skills, not much at all.

Charisma: Of course not and in fact as IQ rises into the very high IQ range, charisma drops off dramatically and reverse charisma such as open social failure sets in.

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