Category Archives: Psychology

Does a Body Count Matter with Sexual Partners?

Answered on Quora.

I think it matters for straight women.

For straight men, I am not so sure. Quite a few will refuse to date a woman who has a high lay count. But not me. I have had gf’s who had experienced 50 sex partners, 3ways, lesbian affairs, you name it. This did not bother me at all, and I had long-term love affairs with them.

Men don’t care about inexperienced women. My last gf was an 18 year old girl who not only was a virgin, but she had never been kissed! It was fine with me.

Women are different. If a man is too sexually inexperienced by too late an age, females may find him to be a disgusting nerd, loser, Beta, Omega, etc. I don’t know what to say about that, but if you are still a kiss-less virgin at age 25–30, I would not go around shouting it to the skies.

If a man has a high lay count, in straight society he is simply a stud. If word gets around about his lay count, he may well get dates based on that alone, as a certain type of female is attracted to guys with high lay counts. He’s a stud, and she wants a stud. A lot of females think this way, but it is more common when they are younger.

I knew a guy in college who were the wildest womanizers you ever met. He would literally date and have sex with 3–4 females every single day. Supposedly he was an evil predator or something in the new feminist way of thinking, but back then, everyone loved these guys. Females would hear about him, and their first reaction would be, “How do I get in on this?” They would almost literally line up outside his house and even take a number to get a shot at him.

This question is difficult because I sort of have to divulge my numbers. All I will say is I have dated over 200 females in my life. Of course I didn’t have sex with all of them. You can extrapolate a lay count from that. At my age (60), women actually ask how many sex partners you have had. It’s part of the “job interview” before they date you or early in the relationship.

Although of course there are women who get excited when they hear my numbers, there are others who have flat out rejected me. I am actually losing dates from having been too much of a player! A couple of women have recently told me that I am too much of a slut and consequently they won’t date me. One said she had a rule that the men she dated could have a maximum of 20 sex partners, no more.

So you can get to a point in life where you have had sex with so many women that other women won’t even go out with you! Who would have thought?

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Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Psychology, Romantic Relationships, Sex, Women

Do Some Women and Men Choose To Be Lesbian or Gay? If So, Why?

Answered on Queera, I mean Quora.

Many straight women have gone gay. It happens all the time. And the reverse.
However, many lesbians appear to be true biological lesbians. The lesbianism is early-onset and is often associated with a masculinized female. I’ve studied many of their histories, and it looks biological somehow.

Straight and bi men cannot change their sexual orientation, at least after age 15. Before that, we do not know. I know of one case where a boy went from straight to gay between ages of 9–11. However, choice may not have been involved. Males may be able to somewhat change orientation in childhood, but this is a black hole of theory, as it is never studied.

Some straight men have chosen to live a gay lifestyle, mostly because females have seriously rejected them. This is maybe 5% of gay men, if it is even that high.

Also quite a few straight men choose to engage in varying amounts of gay sex. They prefer women, but they have sex with men on a lesser basis for a variety of reasons. They are simply choosing to do this. Why any straight man would choose such a thing is absolutely beyond me. Among the crowd I grew up, there would be nothing worse than for a straight guy to do such a thing. It was the ultimate taboo.

The number of straight men who have chosen a gay lifestyle must be very low.
Most gay men, 95%+, are biologically gay. They got wired up this way, probably in the womb due to hormonal fluctuations. They had no choice in the matter.

If you have read this far, you can see that sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior, and they do not always line up. Straight men can absolutely choose to engage in gay sex! They do it all the time. But their orientation does not change.

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Filed under Biology, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Man World, Psychology, Science, Sex, Women

How Can I Know If My IQ is Decreasing?

Answered on Quora.

It probably isn’t.

Even very heavy marijuana use in adulthood does not appear to decrease IQ, and I believe IQ may be preserved in heavy alcohol use also and even alcoholism, believe it or not. It’s pretty hard to permanently reduce your IQ.

IQ can go up or down by up to 15 points in adolescence. No one knows why this is. But once you hit adulthood, it’s pretty stable. You can change a lot of things about yourself, but in general, IQ’s not one of them. Be happy with your IQ score. If it’s low, it’s not your fault and you did not make it that way. If it’s high, thank God for the probably inborn gift and realize that you did nothing to give yourself that high IQ. You just lucked out in the
Genetic Lottery is all. There’s no point in feeling pride about something that was simply given to you and you did nothing to earn.

A recent study showed that people who used cannabis heavily before age 18 did show IQ declines of up to 7 points. But this study is now being questioned. It’s good advice to wait until you are 18 to use marijuana on a regular basis. There seems to be a lot of problems with using marijuana in adolescence that are not present when you wait until adulthood to start.

A lot of times say with heavy drug use of different drugs, we can show mental declines in various areas on neuropsychological batteries. These are looking at specific subaspects of mental function. But even in these cases, IQ itself is often preserved.

IQ is pretty darn stable otherwise. It’s pretty hard to get a permanent reduction in something like that.

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Filed under Alcohol, Cannabis, Depressants, Dope, Hallucinogens, Intelligence, Intoxicants, Psychology

Can Both Dependent Personality Disorder and Schizoid Personality Disorder Exist in a Person at the Same Time?

Answered on Quora.

That’s not possible at all. One diagnosis would cancel out the other one. It’s not possible to have both diagnosis.

A Dependent PD is characterized by an excessive need for others and an intolerance of being alone.

A Schizoid PD is characterized by no need for others at all and a love and preference for being alone.

You can’t both need  people and not need people. You can’t both love and prefer being alone and be unable to tolerate being alone.

The diagnoses cancel each other out.

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Filed under Dependent, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Is Overthinking about Personal Interactions in a Social Setting Part of Dependent Personality Disorder?

This is typical and often pathognomonic of Social Anxiety Disorder. It can also be seen in some people with Avoidant Personality Disorder. But with Social Anxiety Disorder, this symptom is always present.

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Filed under Anxiety Disorders, Dependent, Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

Are Psychopaths Really Bad People?

Answered on Quora. There are a lot of answers on there from psychopaths themselves saying that they are not bad people at all. Don’t listen to them. Seriously, just don’t.

Of course they are. But then, I don’t cotton well to assholes. I don’t see how anyone could tolerate such an aggressive and hostile person for very long. As a general rule, if you let a psychopath into your life, you will be harmed. Not maybe harmed, not a chance you will be harmed, but a certainty that you will be harmed. Because that’s what they do. Psychopaths harm and damage other humans as part of their basic life trajectory.

Even controlled psychopaths like some surgeons (a great profession for a controlled psychopath) are not very pleasant to be around. While they are not criminals, most people who know them will say that they are assholes or bastards. Of course, to a psychopath, that is a compliment.

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Filed under Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

What Is the Most Misdiagnosed Mental Illness?

Answered on Quora. A lot of the other answers are also very good if you are interested in psychiatry.

I work for the most part only with persons with OCD. I don’t even claim to be able to treat any other mental disorders. When I get people with other disorders, I refer them out, especially if they badly need help.

OCD seems to be poorly diagnosed. I get people who obviously have OCD who have been misdiagnosed as something other than OCD all the time. A lot of the time, the clinician simply does not know what is wrong with the person. At other times, they diagnosis is simply something like “anxiety,” which is not very helpful, as there is a lot more to OCD than just anxiety. The people given a diagnosis of “anxiety” in general were not being properly treated.

The second one I get a lot of is some form of psychosis. It is very common for people with OCD to get a misdiagnosis of some form of psychosis. I see a lot of “psychosis”, “mild psychosis”, “mild schizophrenia”, “psychotic depression”, “schizophrenia”, “manic psychosis”.

Almost all of these people are being treated with antipsychotic drugs, and in almost all cases, the drugs are not working or are even making them worse. I simply tell them that they are not psychotic, the diagnosis is in error, please fire your psychiatrist, and look around for another one until you find one who figures out that this is OCD.

The problem is that people with OCD quite commonly appear psychotic when the illness is bad. They “appear” psychotic, but if you examine them very closely, it becomes glaringly obviously that they are in fact not psychotic at all!

In addition there is a form of OCD called by its sufferers “Schiz OCD” in which the person worries and obsesses that they are going psychotic. They often worry that they are developing schizophrenia. I have seen more people with this problem than I can count. Some of them were properly diagnosed, especially by clinical psychologists, but many others were not.

The condition is further muddled by the fact that the person will start to develop a number of “psychotic-like” symptoms that can even include perceptual alterations. They develop “fake auditory hallucinations” where they think they are hearing voices but actually they are not. They are just misinterpreting ordinary sounds in the environment as hallucinations. They also develop “fake delusions” in which they worry that they believe crazy things when in fact they do not.

I am now very good at differentiating fake hallucinations from real ones and fake delusions from real ones and worrying that someone is psychotic from actually being psychotic. But it took me a long time to figure it out, and it’s not clear or obvious at all unless you are very good at diagnosing this particular condition.

Also the obsessions themselves or the illness itself can simply look like a psychosis. I could give you some examples, but space is limited here. Suffice to say that OCD can be a very strange, weird illness and the obsessions can look like delusions. You have to be good at differentiating between an obsession and a delusion, and the distinction is not clear at all.

However, an obsession that looks like a delusion has a particular “feel” about it that an actual delusion simply does not have. It’s more of a Gestalt, intuitive or impressionistic conclusion than a logical one.

Suffice to say that people with OCD often have a certain sameness about them. I like to say “they are all reading off the same script.” After you have seen enough of them, you can practically spot them 1/2 a mile away blindfolded at night, but few clinicians see that many people with OCD.

When OCD is extremely bad, it does indeed look like a psychosis, and the difference between severe OCD and “psychotic OCD” (which actually exists) is not clear at all. I had people who I mulled over for months whether they were actually psychotic. However out there they are though, generally reality testing is still somewhat intact.

You can start getting into the territory of some truly bizarre symptoms. I remember describing one girl’s symptoms to a retired LCSW with decades of experience. She said, “Well, this person is psychotic. That’s all there is to it.” I actually now believe that she was not, but if I told you the very weird ideas going through her head, you would probably immediately say psychosis too.

The problem is that in order to get good at this sort of micro-diagnosis, you have to see a lot of people with the disorder. After a while, you start seeing a common syndrome and a diagnostic picture develops. But a clinician who only sees people with those symptoms rarely if at all has little opportunity to hone his diagnostic skills.

If any clinicians are reading this, you can see that I am complaining that many clinicians do not understand this condition well, hence it is often poorly diagnosed and treated. I believe it is important for clinicians to understand this poorly understood disorder better. How to go about doing that, I do not know. That is for you to decide.

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Filed under Anxiety Disorders, Health, Medicine, Mental Illness, OCD, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotherapy, Psychotic Disorders

A Good Take on Khan Tusion, Notorious Porn Director

Interesting comment from a commenter on the famous “Porn Star Assaulted on Set post. That post gets a Helluva lot of views and it’s also been posted around quite a bit. If you want to see what Tusion is accused of in this matter (and other matters) head on over to the post and read up on it.

I must say that I generally agree with this fellow’s sentiment. I like it kind of rough sometimes, but that’s not as nuts you think. Do you have any idea how many women like it a bit rough? Are you kidding?

The reports about Khan Tusion bothered me on a deep level. Indeed, those clips themselves are very disturbing. The Facial Abuse site is similar. I’ve long felt that that site needs to be shut down. Those sociopaths are doing exactly what Khan is doing, with predictable results.

I really don’t get this. If I am in bed with a woman, it’s because I like her. If she’s my girlfriend, it might even be because I love her. If I like her or love her, why in the Hell would I treat her like shit? This has never made sense to me.

W. Addams: I just don’t understand why people can’t understand the difference between consensual rough sex porn and actual abuse. I’ve heard people argue that the actresses knew what they were in for, that they are stupid “whores”, etc., for getting involved with rough sex porn, and some people even say “He wasn’t even hitting them that hard, what’s the big deal?”

Dudes. I watch a lotta porn. I watch BDSM and rough sex porn. I practice BDSM and rough sex with my partner. Let me tell you– there is a way to do it that isn’t abusive.

One of the biggest issues with Tusion’s approach is the emotional/mental abuse. It’s quite personal in nature. He talks about the actresses’ families and parents while they’re engaged in degrading acts, demands to know the childhood names their parents called them, makes them say hello to their fathers, etc. He tells them they’re stupid, shit, worthless, etc. But all of it is done on a personal level, as an attack against the woman — the human being — herself.

In any rough porn, what typically happens is the sub actress (or actor) is given a safe word that she can use at any time.

Also, she is asked at the beginning what her limits are, and the director and dom actors will stay within them and not then try to bully her on-camera into going beyond them (something Tusion does).

Finally, these scenes are almost always enacted as an alternate reality — a situation like “school girl and principal” or “patient and nurse,” or even just the alternate reality of the actress as her actress self, not her real self. This creates a level of distance which makes a safe place for people to explore outrageous kink.

Tusion disregards all of this and flat-out mentally abuses human beings, on purpose.

There’s no reason for this except sociopathy. It isn’t just “misogyny.” It’s more than that. It’s a lack of respect for a fellow human being.

Just because someone is in porn doesn’t mean they deserve to be treated like absolute garbage. If anyone consumes porn, you know full well that you are a hypocrite if you criticize porn stars. You’re just as guilty as they are for supporting the porn system. So support them when they speak out about assholes in the industry. No one should be working with Tusion again.

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Filed under Masochism, Pornography, Psychology, Sex, Sociopathy

The Female Sex Drive as Sociologically and Societally Mediated Mechanism

A previous post talked about people who like their sex a bit on the rough side. An incredible number of women like their sex like that. And don’t ask me how I know that. They seem like these pretty, fussy, dainty little angelic virgins when you see them in public, but there’s a whole other side to the Feminine Character.

It’s not that it doesn’t exist, it’s more that it doesn’t get turned on all that much. It’s like there’s a lightswitch on their back and you have to flip that thing into the On position to bring out the latent nympho. And I am convinced by a lifetime of experience that the majority or even the vast majority of women are latent nymphos – they just need the right man to bring it out of them. If he never shows up, the nympho simply never comes out to play, and you end up with a rather puritanical, anti-sex woman with a low sex drive. There are whole societies like this. That is because those societies take that light switch and turn it to the Off position, and it’s hard for women in those societies to turn on the switch.

So you end up with generations like my mother’s. I used to hear the women of her generation sit around and talk, and of course they talked about sex. The general impression was that they were not into it that much, that it was a chore their husbands imposed on them, that men were way too horny, etc. The old male cliche about female sexuality – that women don’t like sex too much. They often said that if they could give up sex for the rest of their lives and just be cuddled and held in bed instead, they would do it. Indeed, older surveys showed up to 2/3 of women checking yes on that statement.

There’s no way that these modern women would settle for that. Most single women that I meet masturbate to orgasm all the time if they don’t have a partner. They range in age from 18-59. Every day or even 3-4 times a day is not unusual. Once they figure out how to get that orgasm, they’re basically addicts. Further, we now live in a society that has taken that switch on females’ backs and turned it to a permanent On position. This is how a society of females acts when you turn that switch on and leave it on. In some ways, they’re almost as horny as men.

The female sex drive has no essential nature. It exists, but only as a switch to be turned On or Off. And who gets to decide if that switch is On or Off? Society. In any given society, the female sex drives of its members is mostly determined by the extent to which society allows it to express.

Turn it Off and you get a society of Puritanical women don’t like sex too much – the old cliche about female sexuality.

Turn that damn thing to On, especially at a very early age – say teens or even early teens, and watch out.

It’s like letting wild animals out of the zoo to roam around the streets. Females are capable of a lot more than you think. It’s just that it doesn’t naturally come out. It needs to brought out of them or simply “allowed”.

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Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Psychology, Sex, Sociology, Solitaire, Women

Male Homosexuality as a “Syndrome”

Roy Kozlowski: I love being fisted, have it elbow deep and a few times double fisted. Always have gloves and plenty of crisco. Was at a party a while back and let 6 men and 3 women fist me I loved it. Swallowed at least 12 loads of cum it was awesome would like it again.

This is a rather typical statement from a gay man. I can’t even count the number of times I have seen gay men write something similar. Face it, gay men are extreme whores, they are incredibly sleazy and they are sexually degenerate as Hell. And this is coming from a sexual libertine.*

I don’t necessarily begrudge them being this way because I think they are always going to be this way.

This behavior seems to be a permanent feature of male homosexuality. It is part of the “syndrome” of male homosexuality, and it is indeed a syndrome.

This is why clinicians insisted it was a mental illness for such a long time. Now I do not think it is a mental illness for a variety of reasons. First, there’s no cure or treatment. Second, the person is often completely happy and is not making everyone around them miserable. We generally only diagnose mental illness when the person is upset about it, when it is messing up their lives or when it is causing them all sorts of interpersonal problems with others.

Homosexuality fails on all of those tests. Another important test would be the sanity of gay men. If homosexuality were a mental illness, gay men would all be pretty nutty. Yes, gay men are pretty nutty. Go hang around an area that is swarming with them for years and you will figure that out for yourself. And they are significantly more mentally ill than non-gay men, although most of the pathology is in relatively minor things like depression and anxiety, which are always elevated in groups of gay men.

However, the fascinating thing is that there are gay men who are not just healthy but incredibly healthy. I know because I have met them. If there are significant numbers of gay men who are the picture of mental health, we cannot possibly call it a mental illness because robustly sane people cannot be said to have a mental illness.

So homosexuality is not a mental illness although, I would argue, it acts like one! That is, it is a syndrome. Homosexuality usually comes as a package with a lot of other things attached to it, and quite often those “barnacles” are pathologies of one sort or another. So whatever causes the homosexuality might cause the other issues too.

My current argument is that it is a developmental process in the womb – that is, homosexuality is a developmental disorder like, say, left handedness. Studies show that gay men in the most pro gay nations have just as much psychiatric pathology as those in homophobic countries, implying that the mental stuff is a feature, not a bug. However, purely anecdotally, in recent years, the young gay men that I meet seem to be so much mentally healthier than the ones I grew up. They’re so healthy that sometimes I wonder if they are really gay!

Before we knew what this illness was all about – We used to think homosexuality was caused by childhood upbringing and straight guys turned gay, even against their will, meaning you could turn gay at any time. I actually used to worry that this would happen to me. I imagine I was not alone, as jokes about turning gay were very common in that era.

Back in that era of ignorance, the subject of gay men would come up. My mother would always look at me gravely and say, “They’re not happy. That’s one thing about gay men. They’re just not happy.”

One time I stayed over at a friend’s house who was living with a gay man. I met him early in the AM and then later on for breakfast. I told my mother about it the next day as I had just gotten out of college and was still at home. She looked at me deeply. “They’re not happy,” she said. It perked me right up and lights went off in my eyes. “Yes!” exclaimed with stunned recognition and acknowledgement of her wisdom. “He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy at all.” I shook my head. “Yes,” she said, nodding her head.

A very popular book about lesbianism forever now is called The Well of Loneliness. One of the best plays ever written about homosexuality (I highly recommend it) is called The Boys in the Band A group of gay men in their 40’s get together and talk about life. Their basic unhappiness is palpable and tragic. Once again, the basic unhappiness of homosexuals seems more of a feature than a bug. Somehow or other, it’s part of the “syndrome.”

If we see homosexuality as syndromal, so many things light up for us.

The vastly decreased lifespan; the frequent hatred for women; the hatred for their fathers; the effeminacy; the bitchiness; the extreme and nearly deranged promiscuity and polymorphous perversity; the obsession with seducing straight men; the love of opera; the almost bizarre obsession with sex; the increased and often extreme sadism and masochism; the somewhat elevated rate of pedophilia; the marked preference for younger males (the preferred age is 18-20); the very frequent obsession with pederasty and teenage boys; the seeming death-wish underneath so much of the behavior; the basic unhappiness, the elevated levels of depression and anxiety, the heavy use of tobacco, drugs, and alcohol; the very frequent domestic violence; the nearly messianistic proselytizing; and even the apparently elevated creativity…it’s all part of a package.

And if you go back and read the earlier analytical literature on homosexuality, they may have been wrong about the cause, but their description of homosexuals was immaculate and touched on everything above. The reports often had a numbing sameness about them through decades. In terms of descriptive psychology, the portrayal was almost perfect. And although the profession got far off track in trying to cure it, even Freud said it was basically incurable. He also said it wasn’t really a mental illness even if it was not exactly an optimal outcome.

The usual Cultural Left comeback is that straight people are like that too.

Really? Did you see how that gay man acted at that party?

Just how many straight men go to sex parties and orgies and act like that? How many straight men like to get fisted in their asses, much less double fisted? I can tell you, having researched this, that it is very few.

How many women live like this? How many women go to parties and get fisted and double fisted by groups of people. There are now some women in porn who are getting fisted, mostly in BDSM porn (you can see a lot of this at Kink.com) but that is a very bad trend. I have never met a woman who liked to get fisted in the ass. Most are not even wild about anal sex, for Chrissake. How many women go to parties and suck off 12 men and swallow the semen of all of them? I’ve never met one woman in my life who did such a thing, and I’ve met and dated a lot of women.

The number of straight people who engage in such over the top ultra-whorishness and near-deranged perversity is very small. In fact, I’ve never met one in my life. But this level of sexual debasement and degeneracy is very common in gay men. Statements like you see above are not uncommon at all. Go to gay websites where they talk about their sex lives and read around.

The Cultural Left keeps insisting that gay men are just like straight men except for the PIV sex. Well…no, they’re not. Gay men are…well…they’re different, and it’s not just about where they stick their dicks. They’re different from us on a completely different level, so different that male homosexuality is nearly a syndrome or cluster of common behaviors in and of itself.

* I would like to add that not all gay men are like this. Some gay men are upset and condemning of the profound whorishness of gay men. I knew a gay man who was not like this at all. In fact, he had been celibate for the last five years. So while a lot of them are like this, it is definitely not all of the. Some gay men are rather conservative sexually.

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Filed under Cultural Marxists, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Man World, Mental Illness, Pornography, Psychology, Psychopathology, Sex