Category Archives: Dope

Get Her Drunk! Give Her Drugs! Have Sex with Her! Yay!

That is, I get loaded or drunk on dope or booze with women and then I fuck them. Of course the women and girls are willing participants, but feminuts say it’s rape anyway. Anyway, intoxicated sex is a blast, and I recommend it to all discerning degenerates. I have gotten high on a lot of drugs with women and then had sex with them, mostly marijuana and cocaine, and pills. The only pills were tranks like Xanax. They are ok for sex as they relax you.

I’ve never done psychedelics, Ecstasy or PCP and had sex. It sounds a bit frightening. I don’t do speed. I’ve never done narcotics and had sex, but that sounds like a bad idea anyway, and the only narcotics I ever took were pills, and I hardly ever used them. Narcotics kill sex anyway.

Don’t dose women. That’s as sleazy as it gets, and it’s quite illegal these days.

Do I feed women drinks to get them drunk? I dunno? As I usually drink along with them, I guess not. Don’t feed women drinks to get them drunk.If you want to get her drunk, I understand, but you may as well drink along with her. It’s only fair.

If a woman gets drunk and has sex, it’s rape and she’s not responsible, say feminuts. That can only be possible if women are children. So are women children? I guess women are children.

I would like to point out that a lot of females have sexual inhibitions, and they deliberately drink themselves to get themselves loosened up enough for sex. I have been a party to such self-dosing on many an occasion. Taking the feminut theory logically, I guess these women are raping themselves by getting themselves drunk, but even when women rape themselves, I guess men are still guilty.

After all, feminists insist that women are eternal children, objects who have no agency. I agree that women are objects, but I do not agree that they have no agency.

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Filed under Alcohol, Cannabis, Coke, Depressants, Dope, Feminism, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Intoxicants, Man World, Narcotics, Sex, Stimulants

LSD, Flashbacks and HPPD

Man with OCD here. I’m taking medication for it. I will take LSD for the first time in a few weeks. What are the possibilities of having HPPD? You’ve said you got visual disruptions, what does it feels like? Is it the same thing which is called “flashbacks”?

I am not even sure what flashbacks even are, and I am not sure if I have experienced them. After I first took LSD at age 16, my marijuana trips changed dramatically. It was like the LSD had altered my brain and changed the pot trips. The pot trips became way weirder, more colorful and rather frightening, but I sort of enjoyed them anyway in the way that you enjoy the very scary rides at the amusement park. They scare the crap out of you, but you love it. Plus it was like journeying to another planet every time I smoked pot.

About six months after I had taken LSD, I went to look in the mirror. To my shock and horror, my entire face was deep, dark blue almost like someone who has had a heart attack. I flipped out and ran upstairs to my parents room and looked in their mirror. Now my face had changed and it had a slight reddish tinge to it. I ran down to the downstairs bathroom again and looked in the mirror again and all that was left was a faint greenish tinge over my face. I think I ran back to my parents’ bathroom instead and looked in the mirror again.

I have no idea why I was running from mirror to mirror, but my instinct just old me that there must be something wrong with the mirror. Thinking about it now, it seems so idiotic, but that is what I felt at the time. This time all of the colors were gone. The whole thing could not have taken more than a minute or two.

I happened one more time a few months later in the same mirror. This time it was a very deep dark red, as deep and dark as the blue-purple had been. I did the same thing of running from bathroom to bathroom and mirror to mirror, and after a minute or two, it went away.

I always thought for some reason that thee were LSD flashbacks, though I never had those colored faces on LSD. I do not know why I thought it was an acid flashback. I suppose I could not think of any other reason.

It never happened again, and to this day, I have no idea what caused it. I never worried about it although it was a hallucination. I never worried that those hallucinations meant that I was mentally ill or brain damaged somehow. I simply shrugged them off. Non-mentally ill people can hallucinate and even hear voices at times. The occasional hallucination is not big deal and nothing to fret over. You guys can call me insane all you want to because I had couple of hallucinations. See if I care.

I doubt if many people get HPPD from one use of LSD, but perhaps it is possible. I have dated some women lately who are or were LSD users. One ~50 year old woman had taken LSD 350 times. Another much younger woman had taken it maybe 30 times and was definitely a current user. These are only two heavy users that I have met in recent years. Neither woman had any HPPD symptoms at all. I know many people who have taken LSD, including folks who have taken it many times, and I never met anyone who had HPPD. I think it is not common.

However, a recent survey of university students found that of those who had taken LSD 50 times or more, 45% had HPPD symptoms. You really need to think about HPPD if you are considering becoming a heavy LSD user.

I took LSD nine times and other psychedelics (mescaline, peyote, LSA, Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds, psilocybin) about another 20-30 times, so maybe ~30-40 trips total. I have not taken psychedelics since an acid trip in 1987, 29 years ago. I am a bit worried about doing psychedelics now. I figure I am nuts enough as it is, so why take psychedelics and risk making myself even crazier than I already am?

I am not sure when the HPPD hit, but it is not very bad. On some occasions, I get very bright colors. I rarely get them anymore, but sometimes if I have taken a lot of caffeine or the drug Benadryl, I get the colors again. Actually the world looks much better all lit up Technicolor like that. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It only bothers me if I start freaking on it and thinking, “Why is the world all lit up this? Is there something wrong with my brain?” If I just relax and accept it, it’s not a problem and actually is rather fun.

I called up an eye doctor once and complained about my symptoms, and he busted out laughing over the phone. “Oh! The colors are getting better, huh? Well that’s great! Hope you enjoy it! We only care when the colors are getting worse. What you have is not a problem.”

Apparently he was referring to loss of color vision.

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Filed under Cannabis, Hallucinogens, Intoxicants, LSD, Mental Illness, Psilocybin, Psychology, Psychopathology

Crack Smoking Parties, Wilshire District Los Angeles, 1986

I had gone out on a date with what you might call a High Class Crack Whore, and after a date that ended us up smoking crack in a mixed race party in the Wilshire District, I got mad at her and left the bitch at that party very late at night, which is exactly what she deserved. I had gone off to another party with some other Black woman who pulled me away from the crack whore. This new bitch turned out to be nothing other than Middle Class Crack Whore #2.

Well, I got an hysterical phone call from my own mother the next afternoon. “Bob!,” she screamed. “What did you do to that woman!?” I said, “Whaaat?” I had no idea what had happened. Her mother had called my mother the next afternoon because the girl never came home from her date with me, which was news to me. All I knew was that I had left her at some party in the Wilshire District the night before. I had no idea what happened to her after that.

I told my mother what had happened and how she refused to go home with me, so I just left her at a party in the Wilshire District at 2 AM with no way to get home. Since she had no way to get home, I assumed that she never made it home. My Mom called the girl’s mother back and told her my story.

I was pretty upset with my Mom for thinking that I had killed a woman on a date and left her in a ditch or even for thinking I was capable of that,and I told her so.

I had left the party, and we had both gone out to my car where a stupid argument took place. She left my car and went back into the party. I sat out in my car waiting for the dumb bitch for a very long time. Then I met some other people from the party who were leaving the party. I asked them where the girl was, and they said she was back at the party. I told them that I was waiting for her to leave with me, but they told me that she said she was not leaving with me and was instead sitting up at the party talking crap about me. I swore at her and called her a bunch of names.

The other Black women took sympathy. One of them grabbed me and said, “Oh, you’re cute! I want a cute White boy! Hey, you come with me baby! You’re with me now. That bitch doesn’t even like you. I’m your date tonite, not her.” Then she grabbed me, put her arm around me and started kissing me really hard while talking very dirty in my ear. The other Black woman acted like this was absolutely disgusting maybe because some Black women think the idea of sex with a White men is sickening.

Well, we went back to her place with some other people, mostly Black but also one White guy. There was a bit of a party at her place now. Well, that did not go very well either, and long story short, I left that party too, equally disgusted at Bitch #2.

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Filed under California, Coke, Intoxicants, Man World, Regional, Stimulants, Women

Teen Drug Culture in a California Beach Town, 1974

When I first started smoking pot at age 16, my weed trips were completely bizarre, almost like going to another planet. They were sort of terrifying and fun and the same time. I think they were mostly fun because I felt so damned weird! I could see how other people  could possibly flip on a pot trip like that, but I just rode the tiger and took off on the space journeys. These very strange pot trips continued for some time in the early days. They were a lot like LSD trips.

I took LSD and PCP one time each just about before I even smoked pot, and after I took acid, all my pot trips changed dramatically and got way weirder.

I am not sure why that happened, but back then people said if you took LSD, it would change your pot experiences for some time afterwords.

We smoked pot in people’s backyards, in hidden places at school, everywhere we could find a hideout. It was all very clandestine, and we could get busted or get in trouble at any time. I mean marijuana was quite illegal at the time.

There was a huge grass field in the back of the school near the auditorium and tennis courts. I believe it was a baseball field. Huge throngs would go out there every lunch and sit around in these huge hippie circles. They would often smoke pot. So much pot was being smoked at lunchtime at school that you could see clouds of smoke rising up from the back lawn!

Good times!

I remember once my friends brought a huge batch of LSD to school. A lot of it was in a an empty cassette box that said, “Led Zeppelin and the Allman Brothers.” They brought ~400 hits of LSD to school in the morning, and by lunch they had sold the whole thing! There was that much of an LSD market at a high school of maybe 3,000 kids. This acid was called Brown Windowpane, and it looked like tiny slivers of glass almost too small to even see. That stuff was insanely powerful, much stronger than a lot of the blotter acid I saw later. You were not even supposed to take a whole hit. A half a hit was highly recommended.

There were a few flipouts from that batch. A good friend of mine, 15 year old kid, flipped hard on it and ended up in the hospital for 48 hours or so. He came back to school afterwards looking dazed, confused but in general just fine. He didn’t exactly flip. More like he started hallucinating in a very bad way and was running around in public reacting to his hallucinations.

He was tripping very hard near my friends’ apartments, and he walked up to some guy’s apartment door and rang the doorbell for no reason. He didn’t even know the guy. A man opened the door, looked at him and started talking, and then suddenly the man’s head caught on fire and turned into a ball of flames! My friend flipped out, screamed and ran down the sidewalk to the intersection screaming all the way.

He started walking across the crosswalk when the cars in front of him all turned into gigantic steel bulldogs! The headlights turned into eyes, the grills turned into mouths, and the whole front of the car was a dog’s face. The cars then started lurching up and barking at him very loudly.

The Car Bulldogs seemed to be attacking him. He flipped and started attacking the cars stopped at the intersection. He started defending himself against these metal dogs, and he would run up top the front of the cars and start kicking the headlights and especially the barking grills and pounding on the hoods while yelling and screaming. Well, people thought definitely that was pretty weird behavior, so they called the cops, and that’s why he got taken in on 48 hour hold.

Good times!

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Filed under California, Cannabis, Culture, Dope, Hallucinogens, Intoxicants, LSD, Regional, USA, West

Jefferson Airplane, “Go Ask Alice”

This song is so great. One of the greatest songs that ever came out of the 1960’s Cultural Revolution.

I saw this group when they were called the Jefferson Starship in 1973 at the Shriner’s Auditorium in downtown LA near USC. Pot smoking was a pretty big deal with society back then, and LA had some super-hardline sheriff whose name escapes me now. He was famous for taking a very hard line on marijuana use, especially at rock concerts. When we walked in, they handed us flyers from the sheriff saying,

This venue is not a haven for marijuana smoking.

Other text then followed. I think it said if you smoke pot here, you are going to be arrested and prosecuted. Those flyers were all over the hallways on the ring of the auditorium, scuttering around on the floors.

Inside, the pot smoking was subdued, but it went on anyway. Well, I and my 16 year old friends snuck pot into the auditorium and also smoked it. This was a bit hard to do, as you might get searched before you went in.

There weren’t any LAPD there. There were these private plainclothes security guards instead, but they were hauling people off for pot smoking nevertheless. I remember this long haired guy next to us took some crushed ice out of his drink and balled it up into a sort of snowball. Then he hurled it as hard as he could at the security guard down below. He beaned him right in the head! Our whole section erupted with cheers!

Good times!

Anyway a good time was had by all, and I got stoned out of my gourd. Back then when I first started smoking pot, marijuana trips were like these bizarro space journeys to another planet or another world.

I think the Starship came out, held up one of the flyers and told the sheriff to fuck off or something. They were very good at that time. Early Starship was still excellent. They were led by a guy named Marty Ballin who was just fantastic. I think later on, they tended to peter out; however, the Starship did write a few good songs, the names of which elude me now.

The whole audience erupted when the first eerie chords of Go Ask Alice filled the room.

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Filed under Cannabis, Culture, Dope, Hallucinogens, Intoxicants, Music, Pop Culture, Psychedelic, Rock

Teenage LSD Tripping, California 1974

I remember once my friends brought a huge batch of LSD to school. It was in a an empty cassette box that said, “Led Zeppelin and the Allman Brothers.” They brought ~400 hits of LSD to school in the morning, and by lunch they had sold the whole thing! There was that much of an LSD market at a high school of maybe 3,000 kids. This acid was called Brown Windowpane, and it looked like tiny slivers of glass almost too small to even see. That stuff was insanely powerful, much stronger than a lot of the blotter acid I saw later. You were not even supposed to take a whole hit. A half a hit was highly recommended.

There were a few flipouts from that batch. A good friend of mine, 15 year old kid, flipped hard on it and ended up in the hospital for 48 hours or so. He came back to school afterwards looking dazed, confused but in general just fine. He didn’t exactly flip. More like he started hallucinating in a very bad way and was running around in public reacting to his hallucinations.

He was tripping very hard near my friends’ apartments, and he walked up to some guy’s apartment door and rang the doorbell for no reason. He didn’t even know the guy. A man opened the door, looked at him and started talking, and then suddenly the man’s head caught on fire and turned into a ball of flames! My friend flipped out, screamed and ran down the sidewalk to the intersection screaming all the way.

He started walking across the crosswalk when the cars in front of him all turned into gigantic steel bulldogs! The headlights turned into eyes, the grills turned into mouths, and the whole front of the car was a dog’s face. The cars then started lurching up and barking at him very loudly.

The Car Bulldogs seemed to be attacking him. He flipped and started attacking the cars stopped at the intersection. He started defending himself against these metal dogs, and he would run up top the front of the cars and start kicking the headlights and especially the barking grills and pounding on the hoods while yelling and screaming. Well, people thought definitely that was pretty weird behavior, so they called the cops, and that’s why he got taken in on 48 hour hold.

Good times!

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Filed under California, Dope, Hallucinogens, Intoxicants, LSD, Regional, USA, West

Teenage PCP Tripping, California 1974

My very first drug experience was actually with PCP an! I smoked PCP before I even smoked pot!

The PCP trip in 1974 was taken with my some of my more non-immediate family relatives, and it was one of the weirdest experiences I have ever had. It was like being on Mars.

We didn’t even know it was PCP. We were in my male relatives’ station wagon at the drive-in far away from my home. One of my female relatives, a 15 year old girl, whipped out a joint that she called a “crystal” joint. Well, “crystal” meant PCP, but we didn’t know that, and she didn’t exactly clue us in.

My two brothers aged 13 and 10 years old (!) both got totally blasted on PCP that night. I remember my 13 year old brother was in the back seat with this huge stupid smile on his face.

He kept leaning towards us in the second seat with this idiot grin. He would take out his finger and point it at us and say,”Suffer the little children to come unto me…” He was laughing like a moron the whole time. Well, he would get about that far into his Biblical spiel, and the whole car would erupt with “Shut up!,” and I (sometimes with some help) would grab him, yell, “Shut up!” and throw him really hard into the back of the car. He would go crashing back yelling in protest. We thought this violence was hilariously funny.

About 5 minutes later, he would be leaning over the second seat again with that moronic grin, shaking his finger at us, and saying, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, said the Lord.” We would all yell, “Shut up!” And then I would throw him hard crashing into the back of the car again. This insipid sequence repeated itself endlessly, maybe 30 times, for the duration of the movie.

The movie was The Hindenberg, and my relatives in the front seat kept yelling at everyone to shut up and watch the movie. I was so zoned out in another universe that I had no idea what the Hell the movie was about. I do remember a black and white image of a gigantic blimp on the screen though.

And one point, one of my female relatives, the 15 year old girl, started giggling in this idiotic teenage girl giggle, and the next thing I knew she had her face down in my lap. She kept rubbing her face into my cock beneath my pants while giggling idiotically. It seemed like she was trying to give me a blowjob right there in front of everyone. I had no idea what to do. I don’t like public sex, and I was practically a scared 16 year old virgin anyway, so that was as far as it went.

I remember the others kept saying, “Hey, why is (teenage girl’s name) trying to give Bob a blowjob?!” The others would shout, “I don’t know!” She would not answer. Instead she would keep giggling insipidly and while burrowing her face into my crotch and nibbling and slobbering on my pants like a terrier at a hole in the ground.

Anyway, I better stop now because these people are still alive, and if they read this and figure out I am talking about them, there will be Hell to pay.

I forgot to add…

Good times!

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Filed under California, Dissociative Anesthetics, Dope, Intoxicants, PCP, Regional, USA, West

Mexifornia: What a City Overrun with Hispanic Illegal Aliens Looks Like

My city in the Central Valley of California is frankly completely overrun with illegal aliens. However, the city is not as devastated as you think. This is one of the largest agricultural regions in the US if not the world. Most if not all Mesoamerican illegal immigrants in this town are deployed in agriculture as field workers, where they get up early in the morning, take buses to work every day and then come home in the afternoon. These are hardworking men who work a full 40 hour week if not more at very difficult work, and they do not have much time or inclination to cause problems.

Furthermore, although it is little discussed, one reason that the illegal immigrant crime rate is not higher than it is is that many illegals are totally paranoid of law enforcement, live under the radar as much as possible and are terrified of deportation. As such many of them try very hard to obey the law as much as possible, as getting in trouble with police could lead to deportation. These people are more or less hiding and trying not to make waves or call attention to themselves.

If you talk about illegal aliens loudly around here, the Mexicans act like they want to fight you. It is a very emotional issue with them, and most of them are either illegals themselves, once were, or have family or friends who are illegals or once were.

A while back, many Mexican-Americans opposed the illegals. Now they all support them. There is nothing good about the illegals. Most are not bad people (I assume, or at least the ones I see them around here a lot, as this is a migrant labor town), but on the other hand, there is nothing positive about them. They are just poor, uneducated, backwards and not very smart working class and peasant types from the 3rd World. It’s not a first world population.

When a town goes from White to Hispanic as the illegals flood in:

The wages crash, all of the “jobs Whites won’t do,” which were actually all being done by Whites, disappear, as there is mass displacement of mostly working class Whites from low level jobs.

There really are no jobs Whites won’t do unless it’s working in the fields, and around here there are countless legal Hispanics working in the fields. It’s a lie that it’s all illegals in the fields. Migrant workers come here, get legalized, and then keep working in the fields because this is what they have always done.

Also it often pays by piecework now, so the Hispanics can often make a lot of money out in the fields. There is a corresponding rise in meth use by migrant workers in order to do their piecework faster. Mexican legal immigrants with green cards and Mexican-American US citizens (there are huge numbers of these people around here) continue to work in the fields as this is what they have always done. At times even the children of illegals (US citizens), who incidentally were often gang-associated, work in the fields! Around here I know a number of former gang associates aged 18-23 who are now happily working in the fields, as this is young man’s work. They are US citizens, born in the US.

Yes, Whites won’t work in the fields, but Mexicans will, and that includes illegal, legal and citizen Mexicans.

The crime rate rises as illegals displace working class Whites.

Housing becomes scarce and prices rise as illegals cause a demand rise in housing prices.

Gangs proliferate, usually the children of the illegals and not the illegals themselves. It’s a lie that illegals are criminals or mostly criminals. Most are workers, and they often work very hard. They are simple, backwards peasants from a 3rd World country who have no business in a first world country. The criminal and gang element instead comes from the children of the illegals.

Crime is often property crime. Business that hardly had a break-in before now suffer very frequent burglaries. A lot of the property crime is petty as Mexicans tend to be two-bit, penny ante, low value thieves who prefer to steal little stuff like a $25 hubcap or a $30 phone charger. You must lock your doors in a Mexican town or your car will be burglarized because Mexicans love to break into cars. After several years in a Mexican town, all of your hubcaps will be stolen because Mexicans steal hubcaps.

There is some violent crime in my town but not a whole lot. Most serious violent crime like homicide is done by legal residents, often gang member children of illegals. I am not aware of much sex crime around here. I know one guy who suffered an attempted robbery at 9:30 PM, but it was a cheap penny ante shakedown by an unarmed teenage gang type US citizen who did not even have the knife he claimed to have.

There are also beatings, muggings and robberies of paisas, which is what the illegal migrant workers are called around here. These happen from 10 PM-3 AM. The muggings are carried out by local gang members and associates. Paisas are targeted because they carry large amounts of cash around with them and are often walking around very drunk late at night carrying up to a couple hundred dollars. Roll a drunken paisa in an alleyway at 3 AM and score $200. That’s the typical violent crime around here. I do not think that the drunken paisas are injured very often in these robberies. The gangsters just knock them down and take their money. They want the money. They don’t want to seriously hurt them.

Anyway, when a city goes from White to illegal Hispanic, there is a transformation that might be best termed a decline. There is a general decline in the city or town that is hard to put your finger on, but is a combination of all of the things above. The decline is not severe or catastrophic, and many Hispanic towns are quite livable, but that fall is quite notable. I do not understand why we need to import a population that causes a decline in towns and cities. Why?

It would be wrong to say the Mexicans recreate Mexico because they do not. The resulting city is typically not Mexico Norte. Why this is is not known, but it seems just living in the US causes Mexicans to act a lot better than they act in Mexico. People assimilate to culture. In Mexico, Mexicans assimilate to a horrible culture called Mexican culture. Here they assimilate more towards a much better culture called American culture. They do not fully assimilate upwards, but it’s good enough. Instead what you end up with is what I might call “a somewhat upgraded version of Mexico.” It’s not the nightmare horror called Mexico, but it’s neither that great city on the hill called the USA. It’s something in between.

The city remains livable especially if there are still quite a few Whites (particularly moneyed Whites) around to keep the ship afloat. In such cases, there are enough Whites around to more or less run things and keep the show from badly falling apart, which is what typically happens in California when a town nears 100% Hispanic. I live in an agricultural region, and many of the White farmers around here are wealthy. There are farmer mini-mansions on the outskirts of town. At 25-30% White, an Hispanic town full of illegals is still livable if some of the Whites have money.

The Whites have enough competence and money to keep the show running, and they encourage competence in the Hispanic employees and citizens below them by example. Hispanics are not necessary bad citizens or employees, but they need guidance. As long as a city has that certain level Whites around to maintain society and keep the Hispanics acting pretty good by example, the decline is quite attenuated.

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Filed under Agricutlure, California, Crime, Culture, Hispanics, Illegal, Immigration, Intoxicants, Labor, Legal, Mexicans, Mexico, North America, Race Relations, Regional, Social Problems, Sociology, Speed, Stimulants, Urban Studies, USA, West, Whites

RIP David Bowie

Wow, that really hit me with a shock.

He had been very ill with cancer for the last 18 months, but they had kept it a good secret. In addition to the cancer, he had a heart scare seven years ago when he had to have an angioplasty. He made very few appearances in recent years. Shockingly, he made a stage appearance a mere month before he died, and he looked reasonably healthy. But his rail-thin appearance stunned a lot of people and left many of them wondering what was going on.

What type of cancer did Bowie have? He died of liver cancer, but it was not primary liver cancer. Instead David Bowie died of lung cancer that spread to his liver and caused secondary liver cancer. Well, that’s what the rumor mill says anyway.

Lung cancer itself is a bitch, with 5-year survival rate of a terrifyingly low 5%. In other words, lung cancer is a death sentence. Everyone I knew who had it was dead pretty damn quick. Liver cancer is not much better, with a 5-year survival rate of 17%. Liver cancer is pretty much a death sentence too. I have known a few people who had it, and none of them survived long.

I always loved David Bowie, even back when it was pretty uncool to like him. I started listening to him around 1974. I do remember that the Ziggy Stardust album from 1972 was still popular around that time.

Hunky Dory from 1971? Even earlier stuff like The Man Who Sold the World? Hardly popular at all, though I do remember being at some stoner hipster groovy people’s house around that time, and a teenage girl smiled a sly, devious smile and put on The Man Who Sold the World.

Aladdin Sane was quite popular, but only with the stoner underground freak crowd. I remember when it came out, and one of my best friends, MJ, went to visit a mutual friend of ours, an Italian guy who worked in a liquor store at the beach but lived all the way up in in north Orange County. MJ went over to that guy’s apartment one night, and they listened to that album and smoked lots of weed until dawn, MJ later told me.

Pin Ups followed later in 1973. This album was not very popular at all; however, some of the “underground” crowd was into it. I first heard it on an 8-track in a Volkswagen being driven by one of my total hipster surfer cool guy friends as he pulled his car up to us late one school night out in front of NF and DN’s house. I think his name was Perrault. The song was Sorrow, and damn it was cool.

I was just starting to smoke pot at the time, and I was growing my hair long. I got hazed pretty bad when I first started to hang out with the cool guys because they were pretty rough street kids, basically juvenile delinquents. RN, NF, CD and TB were there.

We were all smoking pot outside late one school night.

They hazed me. CD and TB swarmed me, jumping in to hit me and jump away. They were calling me gay. I kept saying, “I’m not gay. I’m not gay.”

It was one of the most traumatic nights of my life, dealing with that bullying. It was also my first gay bashing, and two much worse ones would follow. Yes, it is true! Straight guys get gay bashed too! Quite a few of them do in fact.

RN was trying to calm the scene down, saying, “It’s cool. It’s cool.” I don’t think he thought I was really gay, so I suppose he thought it was an injustice. NF was quietly snickering. He didn’t think he thought I was really gay either as he knew me pretty well since he was the one who introduced me to the local delinquent crowd, but I guess he thought it was funny.

I put up with the hazing, and pretty soon I got to hang out with the bad boys, but they never totally accepted me. CD and TB later burglarized my house and stole my coin collection. A year earlier, CD had thrown a rock through my window. I was in the room at the time, and it was terrifying.

CD was basically evil, but TB was just a stoned out delinquent surf cat. I met TB ten years later around 1984, and he acted very apologetic. He didn’t say anything, but his body language told me he seemed sorry for what he had done to me. He had cleaned up his act as so many White delinquents do and had a good job and a girlfriend.

NF, who was basically heterosexual, later turned into a gay rent boy or a gay prostitute in Laguna Beach. He was the kept man of an older gay man. I always figured he was in it for the money because he always seemed basically straight to me. A tough badass surfer juvenile delinquent, he was extremely macho and overwhelming. He always had beautiful girlfriends. A lot of very good-lookng young straight men get into gay prostitution. I guess they do it for the money. It’s quite common.

When he was about 30 years old, NF the kept boy was a passenger in the  sports car owned by his older Sugar Daddy. They sped through an intersection in Laguna Beach very late one Saturday night, and NF never made it out of that car again. A terrible car accident sent NF, maverick, stud, Greek God, surfcat and ultimate bad boy, into the archives.

RN turned into a White Supremacist and moved to Idaho.

CD was still a sadistic shit the last I heard, and it was rumored that he beat his wife a lot. Some people seem to be born evil.

JB across the street was a Mormon who was never into dope or rock and roll. He was the typical straight guy. Apparently much later in the early 1990’s, he became a heavy cocaine user. He came around to my friend BD’s workplace one day and said goodbye to BD. BD didn’t understand what JB was doing. Why was he saying goodbye? Huh? But there’s a logic to most things people do. JB was going around to all of his old friends and saying goodbye to them one by one. Very soon afterwards, he went home, sat down, pointed a gun at his head, pulled the trigger and blew out his brains. We were all stunned.

The rock and roll had come a year earlier or so. The fights with my father over the hair were legendary and often quite violent. A lot of objects got smashed up. Good times! I was fond of tipping the dinner table over when everyone was seated at it, and everyone’s food would go crashing on the floor. Usually a plate or two broke. Dinner was often interrupted by me jumping up at the table and yelling, “Fuck you!” at my father as I threw a glass of water in his face. Those fights were cool! A great time was had by all. God I love my family! We sure knew how to live it up. Lot of excitement growing up, and never a dull moment!

Pinups was a very underground album, and only the coolest, hippest people were into it.

Diamond Dogs came out the next year in 1974. It wasn’t a hit, and most people just thought it was weird. However, the title track is awesome, and Rebel Rebel is out of this world!

Next came Young Americans in 1975, which was Bowie’s disco album. I was very much into the disco craze at the time. I wore platform shoes – at one type I had four-inch high purple platform shoes. I wore cotton and silk scarves a lot. Some people thought it was gay, but most people called it “stylin’.” Gay men don’t usually wear scarves. But a lot of straight disco guys were wearing scarves back then.

I know Tim Leary was fond of silk scarves. Some friends of mine used to visit Tim and Rosemary at their house in the Hollywood Hills pretty often. Once DL and I were in a video store on Sunset Avenue in Hollywood on the Strip in the 1980’s. DL said, “Bob! Look! The Godhead! It’s Timothy Leary!” He had his hands folded in front of him and was bowing his head repeatedly like a Buddhist monk in the direction of a white haired man at the checkout counter.

It was Timothy Leary himself, the first time I had ever seen the man. Leary had a copy of Amadeus in his hand and was renting it for the night. He had a huge ear to ear grin on his face. Every time I saw him on TV, he always had that grin. Face it, if you took LSD 2,000 times and saw God as many times as he did, you might never stop smiling either.

I had velvet pants and silk shirts. All of that sounds pretty faggy, but you have to understand that all of this stuff was the style back then, and most of the guys who were wearing this stuff were straight disco guys. Gay men didn’t wear clothes like that, but they did have their own gay disco scene about which I know little.

I hated Young Americans, but I still like some disco music. In 1973-75, Bowie, Mott the Hoople, the New York Dolls, Queen, Lou Reed and T. Rex were pretty much the glam scene. The glam scene was extremely underground and druggy, and you hardly ever met anyone who was into it. The people who were into it were basically “freaks” who were completely outside of society.

A lot of more conservative types hated all of the above music, which they thought was sick. I believe the basic complaint was that the glam bands were a bunch of faggots. It wasn’t true, but they did play up a phony angle like that – fake faggots, or straight guys pretending to be gay to shock people.

None of the big glam stars except Freddie Mercury were really gay, and even Bowie and Reed who were playing around with homosexuality later “came out” as straight. Back in those days, it was groovy, transgressive and shocking to be bisexual, and there was a bit of bisexual chic going on, but I never saw much of it. Bowie was always a closeted straight man, and Iggy Pop said he got more pussy than any man he ever knew. “From waitresses to heiresses, David Bowie fucked them all,” said an incredulous Pop.

Reed later settled into a longterm straight relationship with Laurie Anderson, who was always straight but played up the lesbian look and act as some sort of a weird art statement. A girlfriend of mine told me that she knew people who knew Reed, and they described him as omnisexual or pansexual. He pretty much fucked anything that moved without much preference or care. All of Mott and T. Rex, the rest of Bowie’s band and the rest of Queen were all straight. They were messing around with the androgyne look, which incidentally was very popular among straight men at that time.

I went to see Bowie for the first time on the Station to Station tour when the human chameleon was in his Thin White Duke role. It was bad, man! I went with BA and maybe BD, and we smoked pot the whole concert and got stoned to the gills. You could openly smoke pot at rock concerts back then, and generally no one even cared. There was security all over the place, but they generally never tried to stop the pot smoking. Pretty soon a huge cloud of pot smoke would collect toward the top of the stadium. Funny.

BA died ten years ago at age 47. He was a hardcore alcoholic who used alcohol to make a beast of himself. People went outside one sunny late morning and saw him in his parked car, slumped over the steering wheel. He would never drive that car again. A massive heart attack kindly released him at last from the unbearable pain of being a man.

The next year featured Station to Station. By this time, Bowie was mainstream. I still think Station to Station is one of the greatest albums ever made. During this phase, Bowie was living in London and was completely gone into a drugged out world – in Bowie’s case, cocaine. He got completely out there on coke to where he was more or less psychotic.

Cocaine was a much discussed but little used drug back then. It was so expensive that really no one could afford it, but everyone was in awe of it anyway. At that time, we thought cocaine was a “soft drug” like pot, and boy were we wrong about that. I was already hearing ugly stories about cocaine as early as 1976, and with  the years, they only got worse.

Low came out in 1977 and was widely panned by critics. This was an ambient music album patterned on the work of Kraftwerk, Brian Eno, etc. I actually liked Low a lot, and I still do. I think it is underrated. It was such a change for Bowie that people were freaked out by the new sound. Philip Glass later described Low as a “work of genius.”

Later in 1977, Heroes came out with the same type of weird ambient music. However, this was more popular. The single Heroes was well received, and it’s always been one of my favorite songs of all time. The Heroes album was very weird, but I still like it.

In 1978, when I transferred from junior college to four year university, Lodger came out. Lodger was widely panned upon release, and some still hate it. I liked it a lot at the time though, and it was a bit of a cult album. Note that Low, Heroes and Lodger were seldom played among the crowd I ran with in the US, though they topped charts in the UK. The only people listening to this stuff in the US were “underground” people.

However, time has been kind to Lodger, and its status seems to increase with each passing year. It is now regarded along with The Man Who Sold the World and Diamond Dogs as one of Bowie’s most underrated albums. Boys Keep Swinging is a great song off Lodger.

Scary Monsters (Super Creeps), released in 1980, was also very weird, but by this time, Bowie was starting to get a bit more mainstream, and his popularity was moving out of the underground crowd. The title track and Ashes to Ashes were hits on the album, and Ashes to Ashes ended up being a huge hit single in the US, where it was on the radio all the time. The title track was a less popular song, although I like it about as much as Ashes to Ashes. During this phase, Bowie was into the New Romantic movement, which most of you have probably never heard of.

1981 featured only a single with Queen’s Freddy Mercury called Under Pressure, but boy is that one incredible song. It’s one of my favorite songs of all time, a work of genius and as good a song as Heroes. By this time, Bowie was just about mainstream.

1983 saw the release of Let’s Dance with the fantastic hit single China Girl, one of the greatest songs he ever did. That song was very popular with the mainstream crowd, and it seemed to never leave the radio dial. Not that it mattered, as you could about listen to it all day anyway with no loss of pleasure. The song Let’s Dance was also a big hit, but I never liked that song much.

After Let’s Dance, Bowie never made another good album until two days before his death, and he did not write one good song for the next 23 years. Most of his albums and singles in that period were poorly received.

However, I heard a track off of Black Star which came out just this month, and I think he finally broke his losing streak with that album. I heard part of one of the tracks on the radio today, and it was awesome!

Black Star had been 18 months in the making. Bowie started making it at the same time as he got diagnosed by metastatic cancer (Get it?). The album absolutely baffled listeners who didn’t seem to know what to make of it.

But now that he is dead, this haunting, dark, brooding yet sentimental and beautiful album titled Black Star makes sense, and people are putting the pieces together. Bowie knew he was headed out, and Black Star was his farewell. Black Star is David Bowie saying goodbye to all of us. It sounds a lot like the Low/Heroes/Lodger ambient sound of the late 1970’s, the perfect sound for one last exit from the Stage.

A wave, and gone.

Goodbye David Bowie. I loved thee well.

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Effects of Cannabis on the Brain?

From the Internet:

There are no positive advantages, unless maybe you are suffering from serious depression when you smoke and only smoke once in your life. If you smoke marijuana even as infrequently as once a month, in miniscule doses, it will annihilate any mathematical learning you have, and you will be incapable of thinking precisely at all.

The effects take many days to reverse themselves, and the forgetting that happens during those days is permanent.
You will just annihilate your mind, and you will be left an a-mathematical zombie. This is not a side-effect of the drug, it is the main effect, and it sets in at infinitesimal doses, much smaller than those required to get you high.

This sounds like a horror story, but I have seen similar horror stories, mostly centered around math. There are claims that top mathematicians refuse to use the drug and claim it effects them for up to a week afterwards.

Do we have any cannabis users in the group who are also good at math? Can you verify or refute this fellow’s charges? Refer to them by number in the comments if you wish to discuss the charge one way or another.

  1. You will just annihilate your mind, and you will be left an a-mathematical zombie. I used it for years and it surely did not seem that my mind was annihilated. I don’t do math so I cannot comment.
  2. If you smoke even a tiny amount once a month, you will never be able to think precisely. This just seems wrong.
  3. Smoking even a tiny amount once a month will annihilate any mathematical learning that you have. No comment. My math skills are low-level, but pot never destroyed them.
  4. If you smoke even a tiny amount once a month, the effects take many days to reverse. This does not seem correct, but sometimes it seems like I can feel the effects for about 2 days afterwards.
  5. If you smoke even once a month, it takes many days to reverse the effects. You will do a lot of forgetting during those days, and the forgetting will be permanent.

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Filed under Cannabis, Education, Hallucinogens, Intoxicants, Neuroscience, Science