Category Archives: Intoxicants

Why Doesn’t He Hurry Up And Die Already?

His name is Henry the K., but we leftwing children of the revolutions of the 1960’s always just referred to him as “Satan.”

People who truly know me know that I came out of the Vietnam War protest era, although I actually worked for Richard Nixon’s aptly named CREEP at age 15 in 1972, at my mother’s behest, for which I will always forgive her.

However, in 1968, I went door to door with my Cold War Liberal father campaigning for “Clean Gene” Eugene McCarthy, a forgotten Democratic politician who ran on a strict antiwar banner in the fateful Democratic primaries of 1968. I was only ten years old.

The well known riots at the Democratic Convention came later that year. I remember those also. Mayor Daley turned his police loose on protesters and many relatively peaceful protesters were badly beaten by police. A nearby park in Chicago was taken over by protesters and named “People’s Park.” Inside the convention, an equal amount of chaos ensued, with the party coalescing around establishment candidate Hubert Humphrey, who did not run on an antiwar ticket. I remember Humphrey well too. He seemed a decent enough man at the time.

The Chicago Seven were later placed on trial for conspiracy after the demonstrations. They included Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and a number of others, mostly Jewish. They were represented famously by Jewish radical attorney William Kunstler, who has always been one of my favorite people. Although my father was against the Vietnam War, he really hated those hippies. He used to inveigh against “Ay-bie Hoffman.”

By 1974, I’d added long hair, rock music, LSD and marijuana to my high school studies. I hung out with hippies, potheads and acidheads. I remember once David A H, a bisexual hippie senior who nevertheless always left me alone. He used to take windowpane LSD by putting it right on his eyeball.

Nixon was one of our villains. You have to understand that in that era, if you identified with the hippie movement, still going gangbusters in 1975, Nixon was probably automatically your enemy. Hating him was almost a cultural requirement. He represented, all in one man, of everything we were against. The perfect human voodoo doll.

One day David said matter of factly, “Nixon always looks like he hasn’t shit in a month.” A good one-liner!

I always felt that that was one of the best summaries of Tricky Dicky I’d ever heard.

K. was Nixon’s right-hand man. Although he was not an attractive man, ponderous, overweight, nerdy, homely and bespectacled, he had an odd reputation as a playboy, often seen escorting various actresses in public. I remember one morning at the breakfast table my father was looking at the latest pic of him with some comely model draped on his arm.

“Boy,” my father remarked. “This administration’s really got problems if Kissinger’s their playboy.” A good zinger!

The more I read about this man, the more convinced I am that he is something approaching pure evil. He has to be a psychopath of some sort. He’s one cold-blooded bastard at least. He look in his face and you see a man with heart of ice. There are probably few people as hated among my anti-Vietnam War cohort as this man. I’m getting very impatient waiting for him to kick off so I can dance on his grave. He’s stuck around far too long already.

Just hurry up and die already, Henry!


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Filed under Cannabis, Cold War, Culture, Democrats, Hallucinogens, History, Intoxicants, Jews, Left, LSD, Politics, Pop Culture, Regional, Republicans, US Politics, USA, Vietnam War, War

Psychosis Is Bad for Your Brain

The problem of psychosis is not only the devastating social and societal effects it has on individuals and their effects on society. New research suggests that going psychotic is bad for your body itself.

These active psychotic processes seem to cause actual damage to the brain – consequently the negative symptoms seen later which may be a manifestation of that. In acute psychosis, you often get excess dopamine flooding out of dopamine neurons – in fact, L-Dopa, a dopamine drug given to Parkinson’s Disease characterized by dying dopamine neurons has the side effect of acute psychosis. It is thought that the excess dopamine flooding out of these neurons may damage these neurons or the connections.

Damaged dopamine neurons could cause the flattened affect, boredom and “staring at  your shoe for 10 hours” negative symptoms that occur later in the illness as some of these same symptoms are characteristic of Parkinson’s. Any major flooding you get out of neurons might damage the neuron. MDMA causes massive outflows of serotonin and it definitely damages serotonin neurons or more precisely the connections between them. The connections are damaged and become shorter and frayed. They do grow back but they typically don’t grow back to their full length and breadth. You get massive outflows of dopamine with methamphetamine also, and increasing evidence shows that this drug can also damage the brain, once again more the connections (dendrites) rather than the cells themselves.

You hear over and over how drugs kill brain cells but they don’t usually do that. It is more common that they damage the connections or they make it so a certain receptor on a particular type of cell does not work quite as well. Your brain cells are dying off all the time anyway, as they peak at age 23 and then drop off every year until death (this is why musical and mathematics prodigies peak very early in life – music and math benefit by high fluid intelligence or sheer brain speed.

Bottom line is being psychotic is bad for your brain. That’s as good a reason as any to get a handle on any active psychotic process.

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Filed under Amphetamine Psychedelics, Hallucinogens, Health, Illness, Intelligence, Intoxicants, MDMA, Mental Illness, Neuroscience, Psychology, Psychopathology, Psychotic Disorders, Science, Social Problems, Sociology, Speed, Stimulants

Germs, The Other Newest One

I feel your body’s close to mine
I hear your breath and mine in time
I know I’m nothing but it’s you that I need
I touch your skin and it starts to feed

You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another crash

My eyes meet yours in secret glance
Our bodies locked in ancient stance
You whisper something and I know it’s good
You’re acting crazy just like I knew you would

You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another crash

Embracing my life between your thighs
We will perform in the deadly skies
Reducing my mind to endless nights
You send my dreams to their demise
Realized by your last breath …

I take your hair in to my hands
I pull it tight to fit your demands
Feel my body into yours
I Know it’s right cause that’s my soul you stir

You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another crash
You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another crash
You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another crash
You’re not the first you’re not the last
Another day another CATCH

In case you are wondering, this is about a homosexual love affair Darby had with another boy at the Hollywood Arts Free School he went to. But no matter. Naked Lunch is a great book, and Death in Venice will never be matched. Art does not abide our petty preferences. This higher calling is meant to transcend your petty prejudices. Art’s not about right and wrong. It’s about beauty, even when it’s ugly as sin.

God, I love this music. Very, very hardcore punk rock from the bowels of Los Angeles late 70’s to 1980. It’s so vicious it’s almost evil, but that’s why it’s great. Anyway I’m a bit of a Germ myself, infecting the bowels of this decaying nation.

I’m certainly contagious, good and bad. Just ask some of my exes.

No wait.

I saw these Germs maniacs in concert once at the Hong Kong Cafe. We got there and there were these angry punkers throwing bottles against the outside of the building. They glared at us, and we looked at them like, Hey not us, guys. We got inside, and we knew some of the local maniacs in there.

Diane Chin of the Alleycats was there. She really liked me one night, but she gave me 10 seconds to make a move. I didn’t do it, so she treated me like dog crap under her shoe for the rest of the night. I looked up at her wailing away on the stage. She seemed to be glaring at me. Apparently I just failed Shit Test 1, and there wasn’t going to be another.

Some of these psychobitches give you one damn chance. You need to move on them very aggressively in 10 seconds or so. You need to walk right up to her, put your arm around her, and drag her  off with that look in your eyes that says you know you’re going to do this baby, no one can turn me down. Of course that violates #metoo 101. You just committed sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexual misconduct, and if you play your cards very carefully, you commit rape later on that night if she’s willing.

These psychobitches actually want to be more or less raped by a brutish man. They want you to walk up to them, grab them, and start kissing them like they can’t say no. They want to be dragged off by their hair like the cavemen did. They want to be told what to do and ordered around. They want the confidence of Superman and the brooding danger of Marlon Brando. If you can’t measure up, you’re a pussy, and she wants to kill you.

She wore all leather, but that doesn’t mean much. Most punker chicks were submissives deep down inside, like all normal women.

Anyway there she was.

My friend points to her and says, “See that chick there? Diane Chai of the Alleycats?”


“She’s nuts!”

I look over at her.

“Yes, I can see that.”

“When she does her slamdancing thing…”


“That chick! She…actually…breaks…tables!” His eyes are falling out of his head.

Well I knew she was a psychobitch, and now that was confirmed. I made a mental note not to impersonate any tables that night.

My friend’s sister was there along with her best friend, a perpetually scowling punker chick with leather and frizzy hair. You would think she was a dyke looking at her, but no way. She softened up and went submissive if I tried to talk to her. That means, “I like cock.” Dykes don’t to that. Dykes send in reinforcements when you try to talk to them, unless you’re gay, in which case they might like you and treat you like their little boy pet.

I went to the bathroom. There was the great Darby Crash, lead singer of the Germs! Famous! Sort of. A complete maniac! No really, read a biography. He’s all dressed in leather like a street tough. He’s got this sneering snarl that’s rather appealing if you’re a mountain lion. I’m washing up. He sees me and smiles/sneers whatever. It’s not exactly unfriendly. He’s just saying Fuck the World, and he hopes you agree. He looks like he’s  going to bust out laughing. His life was a bad joke, so he probably should have.

“Got any Tuuuuuuuuuinalssss?” He asks me with the not unfriendly James Dean sneer, a smiling laugh waiting to bust out and blow up the room.

His voice is is faggier than the Castro. He’s making limp wrist gestures. This dangerous maniac is actually a flaming faggot! What the Hell, man? The leather, the homicidal look, the deranged masculinity of a caged animal, and wrap it up with a mincing queen. It’s not even a product. It’s an April Fools Joke. Nothing about it even makes sense.

He’s asking me for Tuinols. Those are downers, barbiturates. Also called Blues. Popular back then.

Take one, and it’s like drinking a six pack.

Drink on them and you might die. Get behind a wheel, and all bets are off.

Give one to a chick, and she’ll turn into a half-conscious slavering nympho who won’t remember a thing in the morning. These pills do have their uses, you know? Girls liked to take them so they could have slutty irresponsible sex with the excuse that they were too wasted to be responsible, with the added benefit of being amnestic the next morning. Who knows what the truth is?

The thing is probably just a confession booth in a capsule. “I now absolve you of all responsiblity!” A blue excuse.

Well, I dealt drugs of course. I did for many years. And never got caught. Neener neener cops. I never sold pills though. Those are dirty and ugly. Sell them to some idiot, and he crashes into a bicyclist at night. You’re on the hook for felony murder and a guilty conscience til death no bottle can wash away.

“Nope, sorry,” I said. “Tuinal cigarettes. All I have are Tuinol cigarettes.” Well there’s no such thing. That’s an assholey thing to say, but then, Darby was an asshole, so it was probably appropriate.

“Tuinol cigarettes!?” he scoffs, realizing it’s a stupid joke. Part of him wants to hit me, and the other part wants to bust out laughing.

He starts sneering, and bursting out laughing in outrage, snarling out the door holding back the laughter.

I decided that I sort of like the guy, and now I just met a famous and very dangerous punk rock musician.

We go back to the club and buy Heinekens. My friend’s sister goes submissive, crumbles when I say hi. All the evil in her wrings out like a sponge. Now she’s a ragdoll, waiting to be taken. I get it. She wants to be raped too. All these scary punker bitches do. They’re all little girls at the end of the day.

Rape!? Well. Consensual rape. Let’s put it that way. You know, the way most mammals do it?

All you have to go is grab her like a maniac. And no, you don’t ask permission, you #metoo boneheads. Asking permission is pussy. It’s fail. A man doesn’t ask permission for anything. He takes what he wants, caveman-style.

I’m too chicken, so it’s a fail. Been listening to too many feminists. The only way to seduce her would be very roughly anyway, and that violates sexual misconduct, sexual harassment, and assault right there, with (consensual) rape later on if you get lucky. I’ve turned pussy. It’s all the fault of feminists and paying too much attention to my mother. About certain things, a man should never really listen to his mother. Listen to his father? Maybe.

The first show is Joanna Went. Apparently she’s actively psychotic or something. Her act is some sort of a schizophrenic breakdown on stage. I’m wondering if she’s really crazy or just a maniac like all the rest of these animals.

“Catatooooonic!…………Schizophreeeeenic!……..” She wails at no one and nothing. Her eyes look crazed. She’s got football player shoulder pads on like a circus freak. On a chick with pink hair. Well. That’s weird. Partway in, she starts ripping at the pads. The pads come open. They’re filled with shredded cheddar cheese! That makes perfect sense!

She’s grabbing handfuls of the cheese and throwing it out into the audience, wailing like a crazy woman the whole time. The maniacs in the audience are picking up handfuls of cheese and throwing it everywhere. Pretty soon the whole audience is caught in an actual blizzard of cheese. Like zero visibility. We are all covered with cheese. We’re pissed off, so we reach down and grab handfuls of cheese and start throwing them at Joanna. Hard. As hard as possible. That bitch. She threw cheese at us! For some reason, she likes this and smiles. She wants you to hate her. She’s trying to piss you off. It’s Duchamp and Man Ray, half a century too late. Dada, get it?

This nonsense is called Performance Art. I am not sure what the artistic statement is. Apparently that she’s crazy, we’re all crazy, and the rest of the world is nuts too. I think she could have said that without creating cheese blizzard, but it’s ok. Now I have another cool story to brag about.

The Germs come out.

There’s an air of menace in the club. It’s scary, you might get hurt. But that’s exhilarating too. Like war. The rush of impending potential violence. You’re on edge, but you’ve never been so excited.

The drummer is Don Bolles. He looks like a maniac.

The guitarist is Pat Smear. He looks like he’s criminally insane.

The bass player is this hot blond reform school runaway chick. She looks dangerous too.

Hell, they’re all dangerous. So’s the audience. That’s the general idea here. After a while, the dangerousness infects you, and you start getting antisocial yourself. I’m starting to feel pissed off. I guess that was the plan.

The band careens off into their set. This is some of the most terrifying music I’ve heard. Pure savage wailing raw animal menace. Perfect for a predatory animals like us. Apex predators. We forget that too often. We can kill everything else.

I’ve got nothing to be mad about, but I hate the world anyway. I’m not sure what the problem is, or if it’s even a problem. I want to hate the world, so maybe it’s adaptive. But why? I’m probably just not getting laid enough. But even if I was getting laid, I’d still be pissed off. I was 23 years old.

And now I’m gonna be 22!
I said a…Hey hey!
And a boo hoo!

– Iggy Pop and the Stooges, 1970


Speed jive

Don’t want to stay alive
When you’re 25

– Mott the Hoople, All the Young Dudes, 1972

You get the picture. Young men don’t need a reason to be angry.

Look back in anger.

What are you rebelling against?…What do you got?

Who knows what causes this aimless and meaningless anger of young men? It’s probably all down to testosterone poisoning.

The set’s halfway over.

Darby Crash has that same wild sneer and the 5150 look. He looks like he needs to be Baker Acted, and soon. He’s crouched down on the stage like a wild animal. Like a tiger. Or lion. Same man-eating look.

Everybody is starting to hate him. That’s the idea. Why? He’s an asshole! Just look at him! He wants you to hate him, get it? It’s not even serious. It’s a band of provocateurs.

People are throwing stuff at the stage, mostly at Darby because he deserves it most. The more people throw stuff, the more he smiles, crouches lower and screams like a man-eating feline. I’m starting to hate him. He’s really pissing me off.

We have cokes full of ice. There’s only ice left. I am grabbing handfuls of crushed ice and throwing it this freak on stage. Hard! Try to him! Hit him!

But why?

Because he’s an asshole! Just look at him.

The more ice that gets thrown at him, the more he smiles. It’s all a bit sado-masochistic. But as long as I’m dom, it’s all good.

The show crashes on until it ends, a freeway pileup in the fog on a sound stage.

We stumble out of the building.

It’s New Years Eve, 1979. Tomorrow will be a whole new decade.

The 70’s are over. Bye bye Hotel California. Bye bye paradise. Call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye.

Hello Germs. Hello Hell. Hello Other Newest One.

It’s the end, the end of the 70’s! It’s the end, the end of the century!

We lurch out of the building and into an alleyway. A crazed, drunken man stumbles into our path. He can’t even walk. He careens nearly into us and crashes to the ground. He picks himself up and looks back at us wildly. We stop. He has granny glasses. He fell on his face, and one lens is smashed. There’s blood all over his eye. It’s Clockwork Orange and Night of the Living Dead combined. Pure horrorshow, droogies.

Maybe he’s gone blind. Who knows?

It’s horrible. There’s blood pouring out of his eye socket. He puts one hand up to his bleeding eye and lurches off ahead of, fertilizing the dawn of the new decade crimson red in his path.

It’s a whole new decade. Things are getting scary. Reagan just won. Nothing makes sense. Everyone’s pissed off and, no one knows why. A new decade looms ahead, glowing ominously with pregnant danger.

We shake our heads at the horror and the spectacle.

A whole new decade has come crashing in filth and fury. We drive home in near silence on the freeway. After all we saw, there’s no words to add. The words are sucked out of us for a good hour. We still don’t quite believe it happened, and we are trying to take it all in.

And that was the night I saw the Germs.


Filed under Art, Barbiturates, Depressants, Feminism, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Intoxicants, Man World, Music, Punk, Rock, Sex, Women

How Well Can Very High IQ People Do High Level Work of any Kind after Say One, Two, Three Drinks or under the Influence of Other Drugs?

This is a question I asked on Quora, so obviously I cannot answer it. I got some answers that were quite interesting though.

There are 11 different answers here, and you are welcome to look them over.

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Filed under Alcohol, Cannabis, Depressants, Dope, Hallucinogens, Heroin, Intelligence, Intoxicants, LSD, Narcotics, Psychology

Mexicans Are Ok; Mexican Culture Is Crap


I agree, but I would say that white rural rednecks are high in the running as well as Mexican Indians.

The whole problem with Mexicans comes from mestizos, most of whom are 50-70%+ White. It’s not really a race thing with Mexicans so much. More like a culture that is pure crap, like Black culture. It’s not nearly as bad as Black culture (Black ghetto culture is 2-3X worse statistically but probably much worse on the ground), but I don’t like Mexican or Chicano (Mexican-American) culture, sorry. It’s not my culture. I grew up with White middle class culture, and that’s the culture I prefer. All of my relatives live in that culture more or less. I prefer my own culture. Is that some sort of a crime now? I am a bigot if I prefer my own culture to other cultures?

Mexican culture is just not for me. I have grown up around it my whole life, and I don’t like it. Some of my best friends growing up were Mexican or half-Mexican. I even had Mexican girlfriends and dated half-Mexican teenage girls. They were both 15 years old. I later had a 1/4 Mexican girlfriend. But all of those people pretty much just acted like White people. They had fully assimilated into ordinary California American culture.

One 15 year old girl was into Chicano culture, but it was not that bad back then. She was a gang girl, and she used to fight other girls! Haha! She sure was devoted though. Too bad I only knew her for a weekend, which I basically spent with her.

Chicano culture in the 1970’s was far less toxic than it is today.

I was even friends with the local Chicanos at the school, especially the girls. This was strange as almost no White guys made friends with these Chicano dudes. However, one of my friends somewhat befriended some of the girls. Their culture basically blew, as it was gang culture centered around being lowriders, driving souped up vehicles, and listening to “oldies” pop music from the 1950’s and 1960’s.

None of them did well in school, and they were very apathetic. The girls often had teardrop tattoos on their eyes. The men wore white t-shirts and were apathetic but friendly at least in a passive sense. For some reason they seemed sad most of the time, and it was as if they wanted to live this tragic, resigned to fate, somewhat doomed yet not dangerous “life of sadness” with little agency for some romantic or psychological reason. The sadness was almost the essence of their rebellion and ethnic subculture.

Some of those girls used to tease me in a friendly way. I forget why. Basically they did not associate with Whites. They lived in a rundown part of town called Motown or Dogtown. The gang activity was very low level and they were mostly just neighborhood social clubs. There was some gang violence, but it was mostly just fistfights like in West Side Story. There were no homicides whatsoever.

In contrast, most people I knew with some Mexican heritage simply assimilated more or less completely to ordinary American culture. They were only different in being somewhat more traditional, patriarchal, more rigid sex roles to some extent, and having strong family values. For instance, my half-Mexican friends were outraged that I would flip off my father and yell, “Fuck you!” at him. They called that “disrespecting your parents” and shook their heads at it.

The sex roles were not completely rigid. One of my best friends, CA, later came out gay, moved to LA soon after age 18 was quickly dead of HIV in the 1980’s. We had no clue at all that the guy was gay, although now that I think back, he never dated, had no interest in women whatsoever, and did have a lisp that we never thought much of. He displayed absolutely zero sexual interest in us, but gay boys and young men around age 15-21 are often in denial about their homosexuality, so they aren’t giving off vibes of attraction to men like most gay men do. You can become friends with them, even quite close if not best friends. They are completely normal and some of these seriously closeted young gay boys and men can be a lot of fun. They usually like to take drugs a lot for some reason.

His father ran a barber shop and was a typical macho Mexican man. The barber shop was covered with these soft porn girlie magazines. Nevertheless he was this sly, nearly juvenile delinquent (like all of us) stoner guy, 15 years old, and we would go over to his house and smoke weed and listen to albums like Jimi Hendrix “Are You Experienced” and have this total space voyages on weed.

My early pot trips were extremely weird for a long time – almost as bizarre and otherworldly and even terrifying but exciting as LSD trips, with the exception of being utterly hilarious in some weird, scary extraterrestrial way. For all intents and purposes, I was on another planet or even another universe on  those early trips. Nevertheless, I kept having those weed trips, in part because I like to live dangerously. Over a couple of years, they mellowed out and became a lot more normal as I also became a much more regular user and even a serious street level dealer for a while. I lived as a criminal for 14 years, running a regular drug dealing business on the side for mostly pot and psychedelics. And I never got caught!

The gangs committed no victimizing crime at all. The toxicity has come in that these gangs have become far more antisocial and criminal and their fights have become murderous as they became flooded with handguns and developed their own sort of sick gun culture.


Filed under American, California, Cannabis, Crime, Culture, Dope, Hallucinogens, Hispanics, Homosexuality, LSD, Mestizos, Mexicans, Mixed Race, Race/Ethnicity, Sex, USA, West, Whites

Mexican Indians Are Not a Problem in the US or in Mexico

Trash: Mexican Indians of certain tribes would be a close second (to US ghetto Blacks).

Mexican Indians do not really act bad at all. We have lots of them around here and they cause almost no problems whatsoever. They are these short, dark, rather squat, very reserved,  and stoic ancient  people with ancient village traditions that go back forever. The men are, very masculine in a sense of being tough as nails and stoical but almost androgynous in another sense of being almost painfully quiet and passive to an extent that is nearly feminine.

They are very relaxed, and you often see two Mexican Indian men walking down the street with their arms around each other. That’s not considered gay at all. Gender roles are quite a bit more relaxed than with mestizos. I hear some of those Indian cultures down there even accept their local version of transvestites and some of those Indian cultures are nearly matriarchies. Women are everywhere running everything. They run outdoor markets for instance.

Of course, they have a terrible problem with alcohol. You can see them late at night sometimes stumbling around drunk. In fact, some of the local gang punks I knew around here had made a habit out of “rolling paisas.” The “paisas” are the Mexicans who barely speak English, often Indian. “Paisa” basically means an illegal immigrant. They work heavily in the fields so much so that they have monopolized them and are hostile to others who try to work there.

One of my White friends worked in the fields for a bit, but he said the work was very hard and there was no way to keep up with the paisas, who had it down somehow. Also the paisas had monopolized the fields, and they let Whites know they were unwanted.  They would try to drive you off the job. There was quite good money to be made on piecework if you worked extremely fast. Some of the paisas are now using meth out in the fields to work faster.

The gangsters would go out at 3 AM after bars closed and look for “paisas to roll.” They would see one stumbling down an alleyway drunk (they are mostly on foot and many have no cars) at 3 AM after the bars let out. They would roll him by hitting him and knocking  him over and  then rifling his pockets for money. Paisas typically do not have bank accounts because they are illegals, so they keep all of their earnings in their pockets all of the time (they get paid in cash). They paisas are typically not badly injured in these attacks, but they might lose $300. Also they will not go to the police because they were drunk and illegals are scared of going to the police.

For the most part, they simply will not talk to you even if you try to talk to them. Some of them still speak their Indian languages, which sound completely insane and nothing like Spanish. I was walking by a store one night and I saw several Indian men in a circle speaking what sounded very much like Chinese! I asked them in Spanish, what language they were speaking, and although they did not want to talk to me, they said Trique. Trique sounds Chinese because it has tones like Chinese and other East Asian languages. I even asked them in Spanish how well the different Trique languages could understand each other. They answered, but their basic attitude was, “Get lost.”

There is not much crime in their villages either. They deal pretty harshly with criminals there. A lot of the women are not pretty, particularly as they age as they age very poorly. But some of the young women are strikingly beautiful, although there is a tendency to be fat. Those hot young Mexican Indian women will not have anything to do with a White man. They won’t talk at me or look at me or anything. They seem to only date Indian men.

The whole problem with Mexicans comes from mestizos, many of whom are 50-70% White. It’s not really a race thing with Mexicans so much. More like a culture that is pure crap, like Black culture. It’s not nearly as bad as Black culture, but I don’t like Mexican or Chicano (Mexican-American) culture, sorry. It’s just not for me. I have grown up around it my whole life, and I don’t like it. Some of my best friends growing up were Mexican or half-Mexican.

I even had Mexican girlfriends are dated half-Mexican teenage girls. They were both 15 years old. I later had a 1/4 Mexican girlfriend. But all of those people pretty much just acted like White people. They had fully assimilated into ordinary California American culture. One 15 year old girl was into Chicano culture, but it was not that bad back then. She was a gang girl, and she used to fight other girls! Haha! She sure was devoted though. Too bad I only knew her for a weekend.

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Filed under Alcohol, American, Amerindians, California, Crime, Culture, Depressants, Hispanics, Illegal, Immigration, Intoxicants, Labor, Mestizos, Mexicans, Mixed Race, Race Relations, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, Sociology, USA, West, Whites

David Bowie, “Ziggy Stardust”

Want to see God? Well, here you go. Ziggy Stardust from the album in 1973. People do not realize that this guy was actually not popular at the time. To be into Bowie in 1973 was to be a freak, a weirdo. No one was into him except for some freaks and weirdos. A lot of them were stoners. This was basically very hardcore super-underground drug music for drug culture types.

Most of these types were seriously outside of society. All the men had very long hair and lived lives that revolved around sex, drugs and rock and roll.

There is so much more I could say about Bowie, but will be all for now. Maybe later.


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Filed under Dope, Glam, Intoxicants, Music, Rock

Drug Culture in the 1970’s

The drugs back then were mostly just pot/hash/hash oil, some cocaine (not much), and psychedelics, especially LSD. PCP was also quite popular but it was also very much maligned. It was usually not called PCP but instead it was called “crystal” or “cannabinol”. Crystal would be sprinkled on marijuana leaves and passed off as pot. Cannabinol looked like a very small amount of silly putty. It was smoked.

Many to most users saw themselves as “hippies.” Hippie culture was still going very strong in the early to mid 1970’s. In fact, hair never got that long in the 1960’s. It was in the 1970’s when men really started wearing  their hair long and hippie culture definitely went mainstream in a huge way. In the  1960’s, I think it was always somewhat sidelined as a freak phenomenon. Most high school and college students in the 1960’s were probably not hippies. I would wager that many more were in the 1970’s.

LSD was usually “windowpane” – some of the craziest, strongest LSD I have ever taken. It was just a tiny sliver that looked like a piece of very thin glass. Some people would  put it in their eyeball! It gets into your bloodstream just fine that way.

I remember one day, two of my best friends showed up at high school with a cassette tape box. They opened it up and showed it to me. Inside were 300 hits of Brown Windowpane LSD. It was very early in the morning. The school day was not yet through before they had sold out the whole box – all 300 hits in a school with 3,500 students enrollment. That shows you the extent of drug use at a White middle to upper middle class high school in the suburbs in those days. Drug use was off the charts. Could you sell 300 hits of strong LSD at a suburban high school nowadays before the day was out without getting caught?

This was another thing. No one would tell on you back then. Narcs were seriously hated and if you turned in a drug user or dealer, your name was mud for eternity. There were probably straight-o’s that might turn you in, but  I think even they were afraid of being “narcs.” If an undercover officer tried to make a drug arrest in the middle of the school day, I am afraid that he might actually start a riot – that’s how anti-police high school students were back then. Anyone who wanted to be a cop when he grew up would be completely eliminated from everyone’s social circle as a “straight-o”, a “geek” an “idiot” a “loser” and especially a “pig.” If he tried to attend a party, someone might hit him. “Police officer” was simply not an acceptable career choice.

Neither was going in the military. This was during the Vietnam War Era with Watergate going on, and all high school kids hated Nixon. Only a complete idiot would volunteer for the military. Remember that during this era, ROTC offices on college campuses were actually being bombed and burned to the ground! I do not know one person who went in the military after high school.

Why would anyone do that? Such a person would be known as an “idiot” and really, you would not even want someone like that in your social circle. At the very least, you would be a “square” and that was very bad. Squares got ostracized in the worst way, thrown out of most social circles and no one would talk to them. They might join up with some other squares and form some square clique, but everyone else avoided them. Also to be a square was to be a “geek” and a nerd, and the idea was no chick would look twice at you.

That’s how popular acid was back then. Most people didn’t take it many times – just a few times here and there. But others were acidheads – I had friends who took it every single weekend for years on end and eventually racked up ~300 trips. I never met a single LSD casualty in my life. I don’t think they exist. One of my best friends is held up as a classic LSD casualty,  but there is nothing wrong with him at all  other than the fact that he seems very weird in that he has all sorts odd mannerisms, etc.

The problem with the LSD casualty account for this guy is that he is 100% normal and logical in his mind – if anything, he is an inhibited introvert. Supposedly the acid caused all these weird, basically neurotic or eccentric mannerisms, but the thing is, I knew this guy when he was only in 7th Grade before he had taken even one drug and he was far weirder than than he was after the dope. If you want to play cause and effect, go for it, but in his case, you are forced to conclude that the drugs actually made him more normal. Truth is this guy was weird as Hell from day one and he was way weirder before drugs than afterwards, so  you were not  seeing drug effects, you were just seeing some naturally eccentric person.

Interestingly, I saw his IQ score when my counselor showed me mine b because his name was right next to mine. He had the exact same IQ that I have – 147. So this was probably a case of  as IQ rises higher and higher, you start to reach a point of diminishing or even negative returns where with each rising IQ point, the person seems to get weirder and weirder and this actually gets seriously in the way of making a living and even functioning well in society.

That’s why you see all those 160+ IQ men who are not married, never date, are celibate, live alone in small apartments, are painfully shy and introverted, are unemployed or have very low paying jobs and live on the edge of poverty. These people have the problem that they are so damn smart that they are basically too smart to even function in our society, so they end up being social and occupational failures in many ways.

I have seen some very bad trips – a friend of mine was hospitalized for 48 hours on a bad LSD trip that was more funny than anything else. I never had a bad trip on LSD, but I have only taken it nine times.

There were also pills called “whites”. That was illegally manufactured amphetamine made by motorcycle gangs. I believe I have heard that the stuff was never anything but ephedrine. They were quite popular. Downers were also popular, especially Seconal. Those were called “reds.” I took one once and it was like drinking a six pack – a similar seriously drunken feeling.

Meth was for all intents and purposes nonexistent.

Cocaine was very expensive and hardly used outside of very wealthy circles. However, it was heavily glamorized as a harmless recreational drug, which it is certainly not.


Filed under American, Cannabis, Coke, Crime, Culture, Dissociative Anesthetics, Dope, Education, Hallucinogens, Higher Education, History, Intelligence, Intoxicants, Law enforcement, LSD, PCP, Politics, Psychology, Regional, Republicans, Speed, Stimulants, US, US Politics, USA, Vietnam War, War

How Can I Know If My IQ is Decreasing?

Answered on Quora.

It probably isn’t.

Even very heavy marijuana use in adulthood does not appear to decrease IQ, and I believe IQ may be preserved in heavy alcohol use also and even alcoholism, believe it or not. It’s pretty hard to permanently reduce your IQ.

IQ can go up or down by up to 15 points in adolescence. No one knows why this is. But once you hit adulthood, it’s pretty stable. You can change a lot of things about yourself, but in general, IQ’s not one of them. Be happy with your IQ score. If it’s low, it’s not your fault and you did not make it that way. If it’s high, thank God for the probably inborn gift and realize that you did nothing to give yourself that high IQ. You just lucked out in the
Genetic Lottery is all. There’s no point in feeling pride about something that was simply given to you and you did nothing to earn.

A recent study showed that people who used cannabis heavily before age 18 did show IQ declines of up to 7 points. But this study is now being questioned. It’s good advice to wait until you are 18 to use marijuana on a regular basis. There seems to be a lot of problems with using marijuana in adolescence that are not present when you wait until adulthood to start.

A lot of times say with heavy drug use of different drugs, we can show mental declines in various areas on neuropsychological batteries. These are looking at specific subaspects of mental function. But even in these cases, IQ itself is often preserved.

IQ is pretty darn stable otherwise. It’s pretty hard to get a permanent reduction in something like that.


Filed under Alcohol, Cannabis, Depressants, Dope, Hallucinogens, Intelligence, Intoxicants, Psychology

Delphi Murders Update August 30, 2017: Update on the Crime and a Profile of a Delphi Murders Suspect

New Delphi Murders Update!


I am getting really sick and tired of saying this over and over, but most of the material below is made up of rumors and my own opinions and theories. None of that is represented as fact. Furthermore, I am not using rumors as reliable sources as has been alleged. I never said they were reliable sources. How reliable is a rumor? That’s for you to determine, but in general a rumor is not considered to be a reliable source, and they are not treated as such below.

 The rest of what we are reporting are in general our hypotheses about this crime. These hypotheses have changed several  times in the course of this investigation, but that’s the way all detective work is. If you don’t want to be wrong, don’t be a detective because being a detective is all about being wrong. So our hypotheses are just that. If you are not sure what a hypothesis is, go look it up. It’s just a guess or hunch that you are setting out to prove. We do not believe we have proved much about this crime yet, but we do have a lot of hypotheses going. All of those hypotheses are by their nature temporary and may be changed at any time. If they are born out, then they will become more permanent.

The only thing that is represented as fact are statements sourced from LE or the media. If you have issues with rumors, theories, opinions, hypotheses, etc., just quit reading right now and get off my site and don’t come back. You will not be missed!


I thought I made this one thing perfectly clear as Richard Nixon used to say:

I have no sources whatsoever among the families of the girls.

I have no sources whatsoever in LE, local or otherwise. 

There ya go.

What I do have is sources close to the families. These people generally live in Delphi and the surrounding region. So that makes my rumors even more hearsay. I’m not even talking to the families. I am talking to people who talk to the families!

Of course I have no LE sources. I thought I made that clear. Never have. Yes, I have talked to some of them, but of course they didn’t tell me a thing. A couple of times they told me that a certain person was a POI or that a certain person had been cleared with an airtight alibi. I suppose they don’t mind giving out that information. But other than that, they don’t tell me jack. It’s hard enough to even get them to call you back. I think if I asked them if my name was Robert Lindsay, they would say, “I am sorry, but I cannot comment on matters relating to an ongoing investigation.” That’s how bad it is.

So what do I have? Once again, I have sources who are close to LE. They get their information from LE, then they talk to me. So once again this is even more hearsay, as I am not even talking to LE but to the people who are talking to LE.

I really wish people would quit claiming I have LE or family sources. I just don’t. If you think I have these sources or if  you have any problems at all with my sources, just quit reading my stuff right now and get off my site. You will not be missed!

NOTE TO COMMENTERS 3: The lies never end. The latest is “Lindsay takes other people’s theories and claims they are his own.” Of course I don’t. This website is nothing but a compendium of rumors from all over the Net regarding this crime. I go through the rumors and try to rank them on a scale of weak to strong. I compare them against other rumors to see which one is better. All sorts of theories have been flying around since day one. I report those too.

The theories are really just more rumors. I’d say the vast majority of the rumor theories reported here were thought up by other people. I find most of my theories on other sites about this crime. That’s how it works, you know. You get theories about the crime from others. Yes, you use your own theories, and you use other people’s theories. I really do not have time to down through the list of theories and say where I got them from. I have come up with a few of my own, but even with those, I guess someone else thought of them first. Also a lot of the theories here are also the result of constant brainstorming I do with my fellow sleuths. If you I “steal other people’s ideas” (a laughable concept in itself) or have problems with me reporting rumors, just get off the site right now. You will not be missed!

Notice: All of the really hot discussion and sleuthing on the site has headed over to the private password-protected forum, where our team of ~200 websleuths has been working on this case and has assembled a huge case against our suspect, including videos and many photographs. Instructions on how to get on the private forum.

This is a profile of a man who we feel is the best suspect in the double murders of Abigail Williams and Liberty German in Delphi, Indiana on February 13, 2017. In also contains some new evidence on the crime and a new rundown of the crime itself.

New Information

But first of all, we have some new important information on a Vehicle of Interest in the crime.

More on the Vehicle of Interest in the case

In the last report, we detailed a vehicle we believe is the VOI in this case. The photo below is a photo of this VOI. This vehicle is a late model white Dodge Dart with paper plates. It was seen seven miles south of Delphi on the morning of the crime. We are not sure who the man in the photo is, but we feel he may be the man on the bridge. The woman who lived here thought this vehicle was suspicious, so she wrote down the license number.

We believe this license number with the paper plates was either stolen or given to this man in Kokomo. We traced the license plate back to Kokomo, but could not get any further information .

Previously we thought this man rented this car. We now believe that this man may own this vehicle.

The VOI in the crime is said to be a late model white Dodge Dart with paper plates. It was seen at the trailhead by a witness at ~3  PM on February 13., which was exactly the time that this crime was occurring.

As you can see, the vehicle in this photo and the VOI in the case have the same descriptions. Both are described as late model white Dodge Darts with paper plates. We believe that the car below is the same car that was used in the crime six hours later on the bridge in Delphi. It stands to reason that this man may be the man on the bridge, but we can’t prove that yet.

I can tell you who this man was visiting though. This man was visiting a woman’s son at this woman’s house. The son lives a ways away, but was visiting his mother at the time. The man in the white car was reportedly visiting a man named BH at this home. We have no information whatsoever on whether BH was involved in the crime that occurred later. At the moment, we have little reason to suspect that he was. However, he does have a criminal record and was arrested only a few days after the murders. We do not understand the relationship between BH and the man with the white car. We have no idea how they know each other or the reason for the visit that morning.

As we now believe that this car is owned by this man and not rented, we now believe that the man on the bridge may have used his own car to commit this crime. However, he tried to cover it up by putting fake paper plates over his real plates. We have a suspect who is rumored to drive a late model white Dodge Dart, but we have not been able to prove that he actually has a car like that. It’s only a rumor. We have been working to try to figure it out, but car ownership information is hard to come by.

There are new reports coming in that the VOI was seen by more people than this one woman. There are now reports that several people saw that car there at the bridge that day.

The reason we think the late model white Dodge Dart with paper plates is the VOI is because to our knowledge, this is the only car seen that day that has not been cleared.


Reportedly a photo of a white compact car near the Monon Bridge on the day of the murders. However, this car does not match up to the white vehicle photographed in front of the woman’s house. There are suggestions that this photo may not even have been taken on that day or in that place. It has been traced back to a woman who is trying to frame her ex husband for this crime, so this photo may simply be a photo of his vehicle. Bottom line is this photo has no relevance to this case.

Despite the red herring and the dead end regarding the photo above, we are hearing that more people are coming forward saying that they say a white late model Dodge Dart with paper plates at the bridge around the time of the crimes. But no photos have emerged yet of this vehicle at Monon Bridge that day.

There are different stories regarding the woman who took these photos and the man in the photo. The woman was reportedly shown a number of photos of different men and asked if any of them were the man with the white car. When shown a photo of our suspect, the woman supposedly pulled her car over to the side of the road,  leaned out the car door and vomited. So she had a very violent involuntary reaction to a photo of our suspect. However, before this happened, she was shown a number of photos of possible persons who the man by the white car might be, and the woman was saying yes to all of them. Obviously they are not all the man by the white car. Unfortunately, this witness has serious credibility issues

White Dart with license #

Photo of Vehicle of Interest (VOI) 1. Photo taken in the early AM seven miles south of Delphi, Indiana on 2-13-17, eight hours before the Delphi murders occurred in that same town. The person was at a woman’s house visiting the woman’s son, a man named BH. An identical vehicle was seen at the crime scene at the time of the crime. We believe that this may be the vehicle used by the man on the bridge in the crime. We believe that the man in this photo may be the man on the bridge. The license # is written on the photo.

More About the Home Where the Photo Above Was Taken

Unfortunately, this woman’s home and life’s involvement in this tale is not over. The day before the killings, two persons came over to visit her daughter, MA. These persons were KC and TJF. The two picked up MA and took off to go to the woods by the bridge supposedly to cook up methamphetamine. The notion that there were meth cookers in the woods that afternoon led to all sorts of what I call the Meth Theory. Most involved these dealers and cookers and apparently the three people above, killing the two girls for all sorts of possible reasons, mostly that the girls happened upon the meth cooking operation. These theories in general are no good and I reject all of them.

Nevertheless over the period of 2-12 AM and 2-15 PM, these three were gone and were reportedly cooking meth at some point during this time frame, but it’s not known exactly when or where. All of these people were high out of their minds on meth and heroin for three days and all used a benzodiazepine that is known for pretty much erasing your memory. The daughter, MA, came home late on 2-15 beaten up and complained that she had been beaten and gangraped and some point over this period.

People thought this may have happened in the woods, maybe when the girls were being killed, but this gang rape probably occurred elsewhere, probably in someone’s home. At the same time, there is rumored to be a photo of a group of men on their knees with their pants down kneeling around the body of a naked woman. For some time, people wondered if this was a photo of what was done to the girls, but now it appears that if this photo exists, it depicts this gang rape of MA and not any rape or murder of the girls.

MA  was reportedly a willing partner in this gang rape, as it was done as a gang initiation to initiate her into some gang.  The gang appears to be an Aryan Brotherhood White Supremacist organization, but it is not the AB. Instead it is some local group not affiliated with them. After the initiation, MA become the property of the gang and they could do whatever they wanted to with her. They could sell her, give her away to other people, force her to prostitute herself, all sorts of things. As a result of the gang rape in which KC probably participated, MA was given to KC by the gang. Her boyfriend for the next ~6 weeks was KC, but apparently she was forced into this relationship.

When MA returned home, the woman called the police on all of them. KC was arrested that day on 2-15 on meth charges.

In the aftermath of the three day ordeal, MA reportedly confessed in part to the murder of the girls. She stated that she “wanted to know what it felt like to stab someone, so she stabbed someone.” She did not know who she stabbed, when or where. Furthermore, all of their minds were as good as erased for the three day period due to the benzo ingestion. I am not sure if her confession has been turned into police. We believe this is a false confession, the result of a beating, a gang rape and three days of heavy drug use. Anyway she has no details about this “stabbing.” Further, MA does not seem capable or murdering those girls. KC and TJF are pretty lousy men, but from what I know about them, I can’t see them murdering these girls, especially for no particular reason.

The woman has been interviewed by both the FBI and the Indiana State Police. We do not know what has come of this, but our information now is that LE does not believe the Meth Theory of the murders is a valid hypothesis.

As far as MA goes, at some point, she was sold to a man up in Wisconsin. She had to go up there and live with this man who bought her for a month or so. Later she was in rehab. This woman makes a lot of dubious choices, has terrible friends, and has gotten herself into a heap of trouble, but I don’t think she’s a murderer.

The Actual Murders


The following consists of a number of rumors about how the girls were killed. Most of these rumors have not yet been validated and should be taken with a huge grain of salt. However, the rumors in italics are apparently true to the best of our knowledge:

Probably or Fully True Rumors

Both girls were disrobed either partially or fully. One was naked, but the other had a top on. Both girls were bottomless, and the panties of both girls were found at some distance from the crime scene. Some of the girls’ clothing was found in the creek.

One girl had the top half of her body covered with leaves.

There was blood and dirt under Liberty’s nails and dirt under Abbie’s nails. Abbie’s nails were badly torn up.

Police believe that Libby had 4-5 chances to escape, but did not flee because she was so dedicated to her friend that she vowed to not leave her friend in this horrible state with this monster. In real life, they were inseparable.

One or possibly both girls had their throats slit. One girl’s throat was so badly cut that she was nearly decapitated.

More Uncertain but Plausible Rumors

At some point, at least one of the girls was stricken with the blunt end of a gun.

At least one of the girls had the back of her head badly bashed in with a heavy object, possibly a rock.

One girl had a knife wound to the heart and another wound to the jugular vein in her throat.

The stake to the stomach is one of the reasons for the consistent rumors that one of the girls was pregnant. It is not known if either girl was in the early stages of pregnancy, however this is a persistent rumor that we have not been able to refute despite our best efforts to do so. The rumor initially stated that one girl was pregnant, but now it says that the other girl was pregnant. Another rumor is that part of the attack was set off by the killer becoming enraged when he found out one girl was not a virgin. We have been trying very hard to refute the pregnancy rumor but have been unable to do so. At the moment, we have no idea at all if either girl was pregnant. It’s a black hole.

The killer used some sort of strong chemical to try to destroy any of his DNA left at the scene.

The girls were  “posed” in the crime scene.

New Rumors

There are some shocking new rumors that have recently surfaced.

The blockbuster is from the wife of an LE officer who was working on the case. Her husband could not sleep at night, and he finally broke down and told her what was done to the girls. The LE officer reported that branches or bundles of sticks had been shoved into the girls’ vaginas and anuses. Furthermore, the girls had numerous stab wounds and branches or stick bundles were shoved into these too.  There has been a long standing rumor that one of the girls had a stake rammed into her from above. We have been attacked viciously for reporting this. We have tried very hard to negate this rumor, but we have never been able to do so. Now with this new rumor, it finally seems that there was something to the stake rumor all along.

Another is the involvement of a large knife with a gut hook in this crime. After the crime happened, LE were asking around at local hardware stores if anyone had bought a large knife with a gut hook recently. They asked this at the CVS near the bridge. There are two possibilities here. One is that a knife like this was used on the girls and LE were able to determine this by looking at the nature of the wounds. The other possibility is that the killer used this knife in the crime and then left it at the scene for whatever reason. At the moment, we favor the theory that the knife was left at the scene by killer, but there’s no hard evidence one way or the other.

We also have new information about the witnesses who saw the Bridge Man in the area that day who were used to draw the composite. One wonders where the witness(es)  saw the Bridge Man. One rumor says he was seen parked in his car next to the cemetery. The other stories are simply that a few people saw the Bridge Man around the bridge at that time.

The Bridge Man and Our Suspect: Too Many Coincidences

We believe that the Bridge Man is wearing boots from the Indiana Packers plant in town. The suspect formerly worked at Indiana Packers for a significant period of time from the mid-90’s to mid 2000’s and may have retained work boots from that job.

We believe that the Bridge Man is a fisherman. The suspect is an avid fisherman almost to the point of obsession and fanaticism.

The Bridge Man is definitely left-handed. The suspect is also left-handed. Actually he is ambidextrous, but he prefers his left hand.

The Bridge Man is bowlegged. The suspect is also bowlegged, probably from extensive horse riding as a youth. We have a photograph of the suspect next to a horse. The suspect grew up right around the area of the crime in the vicinity of a lot of horses.

The Bridge Man is duck-footed; that is, his feet go outward when he walks. The suspect is also duck-footed.

The Bridge Man has an injury to his left knee which is obvious in the moving gif’s of him walking on the bridge. The suspect also has a serious injury to his left knee, has several deep stitches on it, and sometimes wears a knee brace. We have a photograph of the suspect’s scarred left knee and a photograph of the suspect wearing what appears to be a knee brace on his left knee.

The Bridge Man is 50-60 years old. The suspect is 52 years old.

The Bridge Man is 5’8-5’10 and weighs 180-220 pounds. The suspect is 5’8, and when last weighed was 170 pounds, but that was a few years ago, and he seems to have gained weight after his recent release from prison.

The Bridge Man appears to be in good shape for his age based on the way he easily navigates the rickety, frightening bridge. Being an avid outdoorsman, the suspect has been in great shape his whole life, but he has developed a paunch as a recent middle-aged development.

The Bridge Man smokes and is smoking during the crime. He may also smoke cigarillos, as a cigarillo wrapper was found at the scene. The suspect also smokes, and he does smoke cigarillos. We have a video of the suspect smoking a cigarillo.

We believe that a white compact vehicle may have been used by the Bridge Man to commit this crime. The suspect was photographed the night before the crime in Indianapolis, and the photographs were posted to a social media page the night of the crime. We have two of these photographs. In one of these photographs, the suspect is standing next to a white compact car. We believe that this photograph was used by the suspect to foreshadow the crime he intended to commit the next day by leaving a tantalizing clue, which is something that he loves to do.

In the number and strangeness of the tantalizing clues this suspect leaves about his crimes, the suspect resembles the Zodiac Killer, the BTK Killer and others. The suspect also likes to ridicule and mock LE. If this case ever goes to trial, it may go down in history on the same level as those other crimes where the criminal left clues behind to tease and taunt LE.

We have quite a few more coincidences between the suspect and the Bridge Man, but we do not want to release that material now due to fears of harming the investigation. All of our material was officially turned over to LE on Friday, July 21.

More about the Man on the Bridge

Although the Bridge Man is said to be wearing a fanny pack in the bridge photo, he is actually wearing what is called a deer kit. This typically contains scissors, knives, etc. for cutting up the game that the hunter has killed, and the Bridge Man’s pack may have contained similar items. He may have used some of these items to cut up the girls.

BG pantleg object

The fanny pack. We now believe that this is something called a deer kit. These kits are used by hunters to cut up their deer, and a gut hook knife is indeed one of those knives. Another is called a caping knife. They usually contain five different types of knives. We believe that BG may well have up to five different types of knives in that deer kit.

We know the Bridge Man is left-handed because we believe he has a left-handed gun holster strapped to his right side with a semiautomatic pistol in it. We believe we have now have photos of a holster very similar to the one that the Bridge Man is wearing. We believe he is wearing a vintage leather lefthanded holster. We believe it was made by the Amish and BG purchased it from the Amish. Photos of a very similar holster follow.

Photo #1.


This is the type of gun holster used by Bridge Man.

Photo #2.

s-l1600 a

View of Bridge Man’s type of gun holster, the exact model no doubt.

Photo #3.

s-l1600 c

Apparent closeup on the material in the model of gun holster that Bridge Man is wearing.

Photo #4.

s-l1600 b

Another view of Bridge Man’s type of gun holster.

We know the Bridge Man has a gun on him as it can clearly be seen in outline under his jacket.


Click to enlarge. Photo clearly shows a semiautomatic handgun holstered on his right, which means he is lefthanded. That object can only be a gun.

We believe that the Bridge Man gun is an M1911 early model, pre-1986. As far as how this gun was acquired, one theory is that this gun was purchased also from the Amish, as they have many such guns available for cheap. The other possibility is that the Bridge Man stole this gun from Ron Logan of all people. In December, Logan had many guns stolen from his house by a young druggie woman he had living there. If this gun is stolen from Logan, it may be from this heist as no doubt these stolen guns were distributed around. We are not sure at the moment which of these two theories is true or even if either of them are. However, we believe that the type, model # and year is correct, and the ultimate provenance of this gun may well have been via a purchase from the Amish.


Photo of the type of gun we believe was used in the crime. This is an early model pre-1986 Smith and Wesson M1911 semiautomatic handgun.


I believe that this is the type of gun that BG used. This is an M1911 semiautomatic pistol pre-1986, originally purchased from the Amish, who have many of these for sale. It also may have been recently stolen from Ron Logan.

As you can see above, the Bridge Man has three different objects that we believe may have been purchased from the Amish. We believe that the Bridge Man has some connection to the Amish community. He is either Amish himself (possibly shunned Amish) or he grew up around the Amish and German Baptists and knows them very well. Indeed, we believe the Bridge Man grew up in Delphi not far from where the crime occurred.

One of the keys to the crime is: Amish, shunned Amish, German Baptists.

Next we move on to another object in the Bridge Man’s possession that has caused a lot of puzzlement. No one quite seems to know what this object is. We had a few hypotheses of what it was, but they did not test out well. We believe we have now settled on an excellent theory of what this object is. See the photo above and also the longer distance photo of the Bridge Man above to see this object for yourself. It is definitely there. It is a strange rectangular object that is somehow strapped to the Bridge Guy’s left pants leg.

rectangular object under left pant leg

Here is the rectangular object under BG’s left jeans leg. It is in light blue. The red circle is around some unknown object.

When we blew up the photo, at first all we saw was a strange “W” object. We had no idea what it was.

fishing net bag with W

This is our initial enhancement of the rectangular object. We thought it had a W object in it, and we had no idea what that was.

One of our sleuths asked at work and a woman at work said she thought it was something called a “net fishing bag” that fishermen sometimes use. She had one herself.  But we still needed to explain the rectangular object that the net fishing bag did not explain it well.


This is a net fishing bag. We believe that this is the object that appears rectangular under BG’s jeans.

Upon rotating the object, we were able to see it better. Now we could see the bag shaped object (the net fishing bag) enclosing the rectangular object. But what was the rectangular object. Via this view, we decided that the rectangular object was a knife carrying kit with knives in it. We counted three knives in the kit and based on the shape, we felt that they were fishing fillet knives. So the rectangular object is a net fishing bag with a knife carrying kit inside with three fishing fillet knives.


This is the rectangular object, enhanced and rotated to the lect. Now we can not only see that the object is not really rectangular but is instead more bag shaped.

The photo below shoes some of the type of knives that may be inside of this knife kit.


Knife case with three knives in it. We believe that a similar case is the rectangular object. I assume that the knives can be secured in the holder in some way or sheathed. I assume that there are knife cases like this which lock or close. In that case, we solve the problem that “no one would carry knives in the bag like that because they might get cut.” If they are in a secured knife case or sheathed, the knives are safe and are very unlikely to injure the person barring catastrophic circumstances (hit by a car, long fall from a high place, etc.) Even then a locked case would no doubt stay intact.

If this theory of the object is valid, more things become clear. The Bridge Man may well be a fisherman. After all, he has a fishing kit on him. He may also be a hunter based on the deer kit. On the other hand, deer kits like that are sometimes also called fisherman’s kit.

We believe another key to the crime is fishing, fish and fishermen.

Next we will move onto the Bridge Man’s boots. First of all, we believe he is wearing boots and not sneakers or tennis shoes. The boots are black. Notice the white stripe going all around the boots?

BG Indiana packer boots

Closeup of Bridge Guy’s boots. Look at the white stripe around them.

Now look closely at the boots below. Several days after the crime, LE released this photo of these boots in an evidence bag. Then they said that the boots had nothing to do with the crime, but LE always says things like that. A couple of days before, Indiana State Police had raided Indiana Packers. The stated reason was a bomb threat, but we believe there was no bomb threat. Instead that was just an excuse to shut down the plant and raid the police. After LE were done with the raid, they walked away with a pair of Indiana Packers workboots.

A few days later, a photo of these IP boots is released innocently to the media, however, they are in an evidence bag. Obviously LE felt that these were the model of boots that the Bridge Man was wearing. When we blow up the Bridge Man’s boots, we see now that his black boots with the white stripe all around them are an excellent match for the IP boots in the evidence bag.


Black shoes with white stripe. This is a perfect match for BG’s shoes. These shoes came from Indiana Packers. These are Indiana Packers work boots that everyone has to wear there. So BG was wearing Indiana Packers workboots.

BG-IP boots

Here is a side by side comparison of the Bridge Man’s boots and the Indiana Packers boots seized by LE during a raid, placed in an evidence bag and released to the media. That the Bridge Man is wearing Indiana Packers boots is a good theory based on the evidence.

The blowup of the Bridge Man below is interesting for two reasons. First of all, he is not smoking something in that photo. The cigarette in the right of his mouth was Photoshopped in. It is not known if the smoke on the left side of his face was also faked. However, one thing is obvious in this photo and in any photo of the Bridge Man, and that is his massive nose

BG smoking

Blowup found on the Net that reportedly shows the Bridge Man smoking. This is now thought to be a Photoshopped fake, or at least the cigarette on the right side of his mouth is faked. There also appears to be some smoke on the left side of the Bridge Man’s face here. It’s not known if that smoke is real or faked. Bottom line be careful of this photo.

However, look at the composite below. See any massive nose? Of course not. So what gives?


Composite photo of the Delphi Killer suspect.

Look back at that huge nose in the blowup. But no matter. It’s huge in any video of the Bridge Man. Many have remarked on his huge nose. But he has no huge nose. His nose is quite average. Solution to the problem? Simple, the Bridge Man is disguising himself by wearing a fake nose! Wa-la! Problem solved.


A fake nose similar to the one the Bridge Man is wearing. This may be purchased for ~$5 online. One of my fellow sleuths has suggested that BG has a fake nose. A group of women on one of the saner Delphi Murders pages on Facebook first suggested this theory to me and I believe they made a good case for their argument. He’s disguising himself.

The motivation for this crime is hard to figure out, but we suspect it may be similar to many serial killers. Although there is no evidence yet that the Bridge Man has killed other people beyond this crime, he certainly may have. Hence we believe the Bridge Man is a “serial killer type” instead of a serial killer. In that case, the motivation for the crime is that of a sexually sadistic psychopathic serial type killer.

We know much more about the Bridge Man but are not releasing it due to fears of harming the investigation. All of this information was officially turned over to LE on Friday, July 21.

The Suspect

Suspect’s Background and Life Story

The suspect resides within a 20 mile radius of Delphi.

The suspect is a former resident who grew up in Delphi right around the area of the crime and still knows all of the landowners around there, including Ron Logan, Marvin Sandifur, the Mearses, and Ivan Brumbaugh. The suspect is either Amish (shunned), German Baptist or is strongly associated with one of those communities. He knows the area around the crime scene, including Logan’s land, Deer Creek itself, and the bridge like the back of his hand.

The suspect has a low education level but probably graduated from high school.

The suspect had a very messy divorce with his ex-wife, including violent child custody issues. The suspect did a short stint in prison for badly assaulting his ex-wife.

The suspect has a long record of mostly minor crimes with some jail stints and one short prison stint. All crimes were committed in Indiana. Crimes were mostly repeated drunk driving but also assault and harassment charges. All of his ex-wives have no-contact orders against him, which implies domestic violence on his part in each case.

In terms of crimes for which he has not been caught, he has been accused of petty theft. We also have suspicions that he may have been t\involved in arson, perhaps multiple arsons and that one or more of these arsons has resulted in homicide. We believe he may be a serial killer, and we suspect he may have been involved in at the very least one other multiple murder in the local area, although we cannot prove it and don’t have much evidence along those lines. We are currently investigating his background to look for other possible crimes he may be tied to, especially arsons and homicides.

The suspect is no longer employed and we believe he is on disability, but in the past he worked at different jobs, including handyman and electrician.

Suspect – Social Aspects

The suspect has strong, warm feelings towards his two grown children and seems to have a great relationship with them.

The suspect has a new girlfriend about his age who may be a native ethnic White of the region. She is a kind, sweet, gentle lady who absolutely adores the suspect and nearly worships him as a god. They appear to have a stable, warm, loving relationship. She is apparently completely clueless about his dark side.

Relations with the ex-wife are not known. Some say that the suspect has strong hatred for his ex-wife, but this is uncertain.

The suspect has a circle of warm friends with whom he has good relations. These are very masculine, tough, hard, outdoorsy men of about the same age who think he is completely on the up and up. We believe he’s fooling them all.

The suspect can seem quite warm and friendly, “like your best friend.” He is easy to befriend, when befriended seems charming and disarming, and seems increasingly harmless the more you get to know him.

Suspect – Psychological Profile

The subject has Axis 2 Cluster B pathology. The suspect is a psychopath and has narcissism/Narcissistic Personality Disorder/Malignant Narcissism. He has no Axis 1 Disorders. He is not psychotic. In fact, he is very sane, almost too sane, and that is part of how he gets away with his crimes. There are no signs of mood disorder. The suspect appears calm with little or no anxiety issues.

The suspect is strongly heterosexual. Although rage and hatred towards females seems apparent with the crime the suspect may have committed, these feelings are otherwise not obvious in his life. The suspect sometimes displays hostility to women. A lot of men do this when provoked, but he does it with little provocation, and his reactions are quite extreme, often including rape and death threats.

The suspect is very masculine in the manner of many middle-aged men in the area. He is a hard, tough man who uses foul language and has a rough and sometimes menacing way of speaking.

The suspect seems normal, but the following concepts also describe him well: sneaky, devious, unreadable, slick, bad boy, naughty, playful, outlaw, gleam in his eye, and rebellious. He appears to be hiding something or keeping a secret. There is a general feeling of what you see is not what you get.

The suspect is the ultimate chameleon. He is an enigma, puzzling and hard to figure out, an actor who sees life as a series of roles. He does not appear suspicious to most observers. Instead he hides in plain sight and blends right in with society. He is very capable of fooling people, an Academy award-winning actor who sees life is an endless series of roles to be played based on whatever the needs of the given situation may be.

The suspect is capable of fooling people so easily because he is a sneaky, devious, underhanded, conspiring and plotting man. Most of his actions are well plotted and planned, even calculated to the point of being choreographed. The suspect displays little spontaneity other than regular rages.

His IQ is surely within the 84-116 normal range (2/3 of the population) and probably within the 90-110 range (half the population), though he may be towards the lower end. However, the suspect is much more intelligent than he appears and possesses a sheer animal, devious, and cunning intelligence. In terms of this sort of intelligence, he has a genius IQ. He is a very hard man to fool, and he is an expert at reading others.

The suspect has a violent hair-trigger temper which can be set off at any time with little provocation. Although he has committed acts of serious violence in the past, this temper nevertheless generally takes a verbal rather than physical form and consists of menace, threats, stalking, harassment, terrorizing and intimidation.

The suspect takes little or no responsibility for his actions and blames others for everything. He attacks others and then claims to be acting in self-defense.

The suspect is a pathological liar. Reactions when caught in his pathological lying are temper tantrums, rage, ranting, and veiled threats via angry and menacing language.

In his court cases, the suspect engaged in shameless, pathological, defensive lying and blaming of others.

The suspect has the following life themes:

  • You can’t win.
  • They’ve got it in for me.
  • Life is a game.
  • I’m fooling them.

Suspect – Verbal Style

The suspect has a versatile verbal style and can seem sentimental, poetic, moving and even philosophical. He is capable of fooling people into thinking he is a person who cares deeply about life’s small and kind wonders.

Verbal defenses are denial, rage, rants, and especially redirection. Other defenses include an excellent ability at distracting people and directing attention away from what is important. For this, he utilizes red herrings, irrelevancies, redirection, minor details, fussing, wrong turns, wrong directions, wrong way streets, and misdirection.

The suspect is also a storyteller and likes to tell long, rambling, colorful, Mark Twain-style stories that tell it like it is about what seem to be ordinary people and communities but in fact are anything but. He can be entertaining in this role. He turns off some who find him a quasi-literate blowhard, but others find him endearing, as his stories could be seen as charming.

Suspect – Appearance, Lifestyle, Habits, Beliefs and Opinions


The suspect has one large tattoo on his upper right front shoulder. We do not know what this is a tattoo of.


The suspect has some sort of gang ties with the Aryan Brotherhood (AB), possibly as a result of his incarceration. We have photographs of the suspect throwing Aryan Brotherhood gang signs. Nevertheless, we have little evidence that he is a White Supremacist, and on his social media pages, he comes across as an anti-racist, even a coastal liberal variety. He may have only joined the AB for protection in prison.

The suspect appears to be a carefree practical joker who lives a playful, laid back, easy-going lifestyle where most things are jokes, and little is to be taken seriously. He is the life of the party.


The suspect is a regular drug user. He mostly uses marijuana, which he enjoys a lot.

The suspect was formerly a very heavy drinker, and many problems, especially legal ones, resulted from this. We believe he may now be sober.

Beliefs and Opinions

The suspect’s philosophical outlook can be summed up as a cynical one that humans are lowly animals who are corrupt at their core and are driven by low, base interests. He accuses LE and small town government people in the local area of being incorrigibly corrupt. His reaction to the picture he paints of Tobacco Road sleaze in the underbelly of Mayberry RFD small town White America is offended, cynical, fatalistic and somewhat disgusted – the good citizen outraged by omnipresent sleazy corruption.

The suspect has a very low opinion of LE in Delphi and the surrounding area, as he claims that they ran him out of town as a habitual drunk driving offender. He has a grudge against local LE.

The suspect’s political beliefs are quite liberal. He comes across as an aging hippie type, unusual for Indiana.

Suspect – Role in the Investigation

The suspect has inserted himself deeply in the investigation to an almost unprecedented degree. He is now one of the most well-known people who are “trying to find the killer.” We believe he is doing this in part to try to divert attention away from himself, but another factor seems to be narcissism, possibly even Malignant Narcissism, which means he can’t help himself. He loves the limelight and the sound of his own voice and is something of a publicity hound. We al so believe he likes the idea that he is hiding right under the noses of everyone and getting away with it and thinks this is all some sort of a joke.

The suspect’s attitude towards the investigation is hard to figure. We believe he is nervous and fearful of being caught but also sees the whole thing as a hilarious game of cat and mouse. He’s thinks he’s fooling LE and all of society, getting away with murder, and hiding right under their noses. He also seems to be playing a game of, “Neener neener. I’m the killer, and you’ll never catch me ha ha!” In this sense he resembles the Zodiac Killer and the BTK Killer.

The suspect sought out LE (FBI) early in the investigation in order to leave a tip. We have a video of him calling in this phone tip.

We believe he did this as part of a plan to frame an innocent man. We believe he was originally going to commit this crime and then lay low, but that changed after he was photographed and recorded on audio. Over the next month we believe he then formulated an elaborate case to try to frame an innocent man, a former workmate who he had had a falling out with. This consisted of a very long and elaborate theory which did not make much sense on examination. Further, the man he attempted to frame did not seem like the type to do such a crime. The suspect also included a number of videos as part of this plan. He then went out on the Internet and tried to promulgate this theory on a number of websites and on Facebook and Youtube. He was fairly successful at this until some people started catching on to his scheme.


Filed under Crime, Intelligence, Intoxicants, Law enforcement, Mental Illness, Midwest, Narcissism, Personality, Psychology, Psychopathology, Regional, Serial Killers, Speed, Stimulants, USA, Wisconsin