Category Archives: Humor

Even Ducks Don’t Like Indians

You Indians better work on your personalities! You’re even starting to piss of the birds for Chrissake, and birds are pretty stupid. Where do you think birdbrain came from? And ducks are some of the dumbest birds of them all.

My high school biology teacher once told us that ducks were very stupid.

On her farm where she grew up, there was this path they walked down every day, and the path turned sharply into a low spot where a pond of water had collected in the trail.

The pond was easily avoided if you knew it was coming. The ducks would walk along the path and then turn the corner and land right in the water, upsetting and surprising them. They never learned anything from one day to the next, like a lot of humans I know. Every day they made the same damned mistake and fell into the pond squawking again. They simply could not recall that there was a bend in the trail and a hidden pond after it that they had fallen into the day before.

I guess these London swans* are not too stupid though! They seem have figured out like so many of us in the West that Indians are lousy people!

*If you are interested, there are three types of birds: ducks, swans and geese. They are all related as members of the larger Duck Family. Swans and geese are separate genera, something I was not aware of (I just learned that today!). Swans and geese are larger than ducks. They must be closely related though because swans and geese can interbreed to form hybrids (I just learned that today too!). Isn’t life cool? Here I am at 60 years old and I am still learning new things, even new basic facts about our world, almost every day! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think that’s really neat. H who is not busy growing is busy dying.

I’m confused. Sure, humans have racist impulses; Ballets like Swan Lake are said to be ‘racist,’ but…UK Swans Hate Ethnic Minorities (right click to open in new window):

(Birds have more acute eyesight than human I check).

“Angry ‘Racist’ Swans are Terrorizing Students at Warwick University

The bullying birds have been spotted standing guard at a campus footbridge to stop humans from crossing. Students say they are being continually confronted on their way to lectures. And the birds – who are currently in their breeding season – are said to be particularly aggressive towards Indian students. One victim, a 24-year-old student who asked not to be named, said:

“I am from India, and they attack me especially – they focus straight on me. We have been warned that the swans will be a bit feisty at this time of year, but they go for me all year round. I think they don’t like too many Indians in England – maybe the swans here are a little bit racist.”

……………….

When the yanks pick an African ballerina to play Odette, the swan queen, they picked one with fairer skin and without peppercorn hair.

16 Comments

Filed under Animals, Birds, Britain, Domestic, East Indians, Europe, Humor, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, South Asians, Wild

Too Funny

Is this off some TV show? How did they set this up anyway?

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor

When You Tryin To Be a Gangsta…

LOL.

1 Comment

Filed under Humor

Designated Shitting Streets, Coming to America Soon!

abhay-patel-bobby-jindal-and-nikki-haley-618x317

Bobby Jindal, Nikki Haley and Abhay Patel (who the Hell is that?), street shitters all!

All of you fans of Indian Designated Shitting Streets pining for the same here in the US won’t be crying in your coffee long. A few supporters of Designated Shitting Streets have already made their way into US politics. Of course they are all Republicans. What do you expect? Indians want all of their poor to drop dead tomorrow, and Republicans want all of our poor to drop dead yesterday. A difference? Semantic quibbling!

Well, I am here to bear news of good hope for all of you who have been waiting anxiously all this time for the arrival of Designated Shitting Streets on our benighted shores. With the arrival of casteist reactionary Indian feudalists like Haley and Jindal into the American Dark Enlightenment/neoreactionary scene, Designated Shitting Streets will not be far behind!

Now you will no longer have to spend thousands on an overpriced plane ticket to some shithole to witness the ineffable glory, timeless beauty, and ancient rhythm of Designated Shitting Streets (now all marked as National Landmarks by the Indian government). You will not even have to leave your own country to partake of the age-old rhapsodic beauty of squatting humans on a hot pavement in the blazing sun.

They’re coming to America! Yes. Your dreams have come true, and your prayers have been heard. Sooner than you think, there will be a Designated Shitting Street within a few hours drive of your own home! As the world’s greatest tourist artifacts, arcana, rituals and celebrations make the way to our very homes, the greatest glories of the ancient world, such as India’s world-renowned Designated Shitting Streets themselves, will so on be no more than a few hours’ Sunday drive away from your very own eyes and noses.

4 Comments

Filed under Asia, East Indians, Humor, Immigration, India, Politics, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, Republicans, South Asia, South Asians, US Politics, USA

2030, India Superpower!

india-open-defacation

India Superpower!

2030, India Superpower! Bow down before the new world superpower or forever hold your tongue.

17 Comments

Filed under Asia, Humor, India, Regional, South Asia

How the Designated Shitting Streets Meme Came about

2050! India Superpower! Poo is in the loo! Designated shitting streets are now designated shitting planets!

Designated…Designated…Designated…Designated…Designated…Designated…Designated…Designated.

You realize that has turned into one of the funniest internet memes of them all? Designated shitting streets?

You know how that started? It was on 4chan and people were making fun of Indians for shitting in the streets and everywhere else for that matter. They had all these memes up there, and some Indian nationalist came on there ranting and raving, “2030 India Superpower! We’re going to kill every single one of you!” You know like they do. And then he said that Indians don’t shit in any old street anyway. “We have designated shitting streets,” he said. Well, it took off from there.*

That and the Goddamned idiot wagon wheel flag are too much, man. That one Indian nationalist idiot singlehandedly created one of the most hilarious anti-Indian memes ever made.

Congratulations! Jai Hind!

*I think I was one of the first bloggers to find that conversation and I had a jpg of that whole conversation at one point. After that idiot tried to defend himself with the “designated shitting streets” excuse,  everyone just dogpiled all over him and beat up him up for a long time after that. He just sputtered along muttering that he was going to kill all of them like they always do.

4 Comments

Filed under Asia, Humor, India, Regional, South Asia

New Mammal Discovered!

16602591_10208554819414403_5421593211395932172_n

A new mammal has been discovered! This captive specimen has even been turned into a pet. They are characterized by a feline appearing head and tail, however the body is long, thin, and twisty like a worm or an eel. Very odd. Cryptozoology is not fake! New mammals are being discovered all the time.

1 Comment

Filed under Animals, Cats, Domestic, Humor

Corpse Landmarks on Mount Everest

I don’t care about all the fools who died climbing Mt. Everest or K2. Actually K2 has killed quite a few more people than Everest. The people who got killed climbing Everest are still sitting there on that mountain, frozen human hot dogs on an icebox mountain. I’m not sure what it means that they are still there. Maybe there is no way to go get the body. Those bodies are actually marked on maps and are used as landmarks by people climbing the mountain!

Can you believe it? You are looking at a map climbing Everest and your friend points in the distance at this darker colored object on the mountain. That’s Climber #74 over there. We call him Human Frozen Burrito for short. It’s on the map. Find Human Burrito on the map, and you can figure out where we are on this infernal mountain.

7 Comments

Filed under Asia, China, Death, Humor, Regional, South Asia, Tibet

He’s Dead, Jim

A little edification for your Monday.

You’re welcome.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor, Pop Culture

The Girlfriend Application

28537445_1553244538128678_1827312130_n

Girlfriend application.

Anything we can add here, guys?

Here’s one:

Do you have a gag reflex? Yes_____  No_____

Any more?

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Humor, Man World, Psychology, Romantic Relationships, Sex