A Pole Needs a Hole, and a Hole Needs a Pole

The title is Sex Education Lesson 1 for today.

Lin: Bob, as you said, gays are more interested in recipient rectal sex than as emitter. Just chop off the prostate gland and terminate the Lawrence of Arabia syndrome.

Yes, there is a big problem now. On their dating sites, almost all of the gay men say they are bottoms. Ok, that means they take it up the ass.

Hardly any of the men say they are tops. The tops are the insertive partners of the holes, in case you were wondering.

Well, you can’t have sex with society of bottoms. Holes just sit there. It’s like a house full of outlets with no devices to plug into them. Nothing’s going to get turned on, literally.

A hole only works with a pole, otherwise it’s like a hole in the ground, just sitting there being useless with nothing to fill it up waiting for you to trip over it.

Some gay men made Youtube videos complaining about this. They were bottoms too of course, but they were sockets in need of a plugs, and there were no plugs to be found. So no orgiastic lights get lit up.

Some of them said, “Doesn’t anyone fuck anymore?”

There have also been a lot of complaints from gay men lately about how many gay men are effeminate. A lot of gay men, even or especially the effeminate ones, like more masculine guys. The only ones who want the femmies are some tops who like to dominate them I assume. Gay men have made pleading pitches online to stop encouraging gay men to be effeminate. They have plenty of twinks, more than enough. The shortage is of bears.

Excessive girly men, all looking for a manly man, but there are few, so the sissies are stranded at the altar.

Excessive bottoms, holes waiting to be filled by the poles that never shows up.

These are the pressing issues of the day, dammit!

Well, now you know about the fascinating issues affecting gay men nowadays. Would you like some dessert with that prose meal?


Filed under Gender Studies, Homosexuality, Sex

8 responses to “A Pole Needs a Hole, and a Hole Needs a Pole

  1. Jason Y

    Gays seem to be into working out a lot. How would that relate?

    • Um. Lemme think.

      Well, when those gay poles and holes really get pounding away, it’s a Goddamn exercise machine!

      Good enough for ya?

      • Jason Y

        I suspect a big percentage of bodybuilders are gay. The obsession with physique is odd. Anyway, I remember this funny scene on Dodgeball where the owner of the big gym in town claimed a stripper sent to him was a man (by mistake) 😆

      • Jason Y

        Working out reminds me of ass fucking. Does it to anyone else? 😆 pump it, pump it.. Just give it one more ! You can do it !!

  2. Lin

    let me repeat what I said before, in the name of Jesus:

    Scientists should design a sophisticate strapped on dildo which is covered with pressure sensors meshed intrinsically with the nerve system of clitoris at the other end. Equipped with such dildos, overweight feminist butch lesbians can right the gender wrong imposed on them and entertain the bottom fags. I’m sure conservative Christians will also welcome it because it’s really a form of heterosexual relationship.

  3. Mark A

    It gets worse. Drag queens are actually usually tops but they dress like women. The few that have decided to try to win the game by putting on butch man drag and pretending are indistinguishable from the S&M types, which is just as well because it’s at least honest about the weird psychology of the whole thing.

  4. Meg

    “A hole only works with a pole, otherwise it’s like a hole in the ground, just sitting there being useless with nothing to fill it up waiting for you to trip over it.”

    Is this how you view women?? 😂

    As a woman though I feel this way a lot I don’t know if it’s a confidence thing or a society thing Robert what do you think….?

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