Women always want the best.
– Oscar Wilde
I would add teenage girls to that. Women and teenage girls always want the best.
First of all, I would like to point out that one of the main drivers of Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria has been feminist therapists exactly like this woman posting below.
A teenage girl is with an older man. People end the relationship, and everyone starts screaming about how she got abused and molested and damaged and ruined and how now she has to go a therapist now get over her being a victim of “child molestation.” The girl is typically utterly baffled and doesn’t feel 1% harmed by the relationship, which she probably started herself anyway.
They ship her off to the feminist therapist who drills it into her head endlessly about how she was a victim of “child molestation,” about how she is a “child,” presumably the same thing as what are known as little girls, and how if she doesn’t “recover from the damage,” she will be scarred and crippled for the rest of her life.
At first the girl thinks this is insane and stupid and probably wants to slap the therapist. But after a while, the therapist brainwashes her very well. Now the girl is going on and on about how she got molested, abused, raped, damaged and potentially ruined. What was formerly probably the peak experience of her young life is now regarded as a horrorshow of nightmarish abuse. She starts to develop a number of mental symptoms due to all the “abuse” she got. She was quite sane before. She was sane before, and now she’s crazy! Iatrogenic therapist-induced mental disorder. Way to go feminists! Instead of making crazy people sane, you’re doing the opposite. You’re making sane people nuts. Good job! You want a medal for that?
“On another note, how can you possibly “groom” a teenage girl? You can only groom children, and teenage girls are not children.”
Children, teenage girls, and grown women can ALL be “groomed.” Grooming occurs when a power figure (teacher, parent, dominant partner in the relationship) deliberately establishes an emotional connection and relationship with another person in order to exhibit control and to lower their inhibitions, usually for the purpose of exploitation or abuse.
Little by little, a seemingly healthy relationship becomes darker as the person is isolated from their family and friends, suffers mental and physical abuse-and sometimes sexual, becomes mentally and physically dependent upon the other person, and begins suffering from self-esteem issues and other behavioral and mental health problems.
Battered women are “groomed” every day. Just ask the formerly confident, attractive, independent woman who, after years of mental and physical abuse, finds herself kowtowing to their partner’s every wish and demand, losing her autonomy, and finding herself mentally unable to leave the relationship.
Women and teenagers are groomed in a different way. They’re taught to sit quietly without asking questions, to immediately respond to any text or phone call, to put their own needs and desires aside to focus on what their partner wants, to dress and behave in public the way the other person wants, to give in to sexual desires that make make them uncomfortable, to respond to things in a manner in which they are uncomfortable. They’re groomed to do these things in the beginning by being rewarded, just like a dog is rewarded for treats. And later, when they’re not complacent, they’re punished.
Certain women are targeted. Perhaps they appear vulnerable or weak. Or maybe they’re just young. They learn to gain the other person’s trust. They find their needs being met. Then the relationship becomes sexualized. From there, control is maintained. At that point, they’re often so entangled within the relationship that it’s difficult to get out.
If you’d like, I can provide data, research, case studies, and message boards where you can read many experiences from women and teenagers who have been “groomed.” From women and teenagers who have escaped abusive relationships and even sex trafficking situations.
“She probably seduced him. That’s how this stuff usually goes.”
I would like to see citations for peer-reviewed studies that show that the “most men having sex with teenage girls are doing it because the girls seduced them” and that “Also in almost all cases it is consensual”. Because I can tell you, as a woman and former teenage girl, that’s not been MY experience. As a family therapist, that certainly goes against the studies I’ve seen and read – not to mention the experience I’ve had with dozens of my young clients.
Regardless, a 13-year-old is a child. No matter how “mature” they appear, no matter if they’ve started menses or not, no matter if they have the body and vocabulary of a 20-year-old-they’re are NOT a woman. Either legally or emotionally.
Do you have a daughter?
I don’t have one, but if your daughter is a teenage girl, I bet she is pretty angry about the way you are trying to “protect” her from a harmless thing she doesn’t even want to be protected from in the first place! From her point of view, you’re annoying and in the way, big time.
In every case I heard about personally, the girl seduced the man. In all the cases I have read about on the Net, the girl went after the man. Teenage girls like men, you know. They mostly like boys, but there’s definitely a fair number of them who like men too, usually the better looking ones.
And teenage girls did this too me more times than I can count when I was having sex with them from ages 18-21 and then later when all relationships were platonic. I never sought out underage girls even as a young man when I was dating them. I didn’t have to. I just sat back and waited for them to come to me. They approached me or mutual friends said the girl wanted to go out with me. “Hey Bob, do you want to go out with Clarissa (14 year old girl)? She wants to go out with you.”
And I certainly never sought them out as “easy lays,” mostly because they aren’t. Teenage girls are not easy targets. It is actually quite difficult to date them if you are an adult. If we lowered the age of consent right now, it would be murderously difficult for me to date a jailbait. I’m too old for them, and they’re too hard to get anyway.
I have never in my life heard of men seeking out teenage girls as “easy targets.” Why would anyone do that? Girls like men enough that if you are into teenage girls and you are goodlooking and have good Game, all you have to do is sit back and wait for them to come to you, or at least make the first signals.
I have never in my life heard of a man who “could not get a woman his own age,” so he went after teenage girls. It boggles my mind that women and feminists actually believe this ludicrous notion. It doesn’t work that way! If you can’t get a woman your own age, of course you cannot get a teenage girl because they are far harder to date than grown women your own age.
I am 59 years old and although somehow I do date attractive young women in their legal teens through 20’s (against all odds and to my own astonishment), I must say that it is horribly difficult. And when I have to deal with young women in my regular doings around town, most of them look at me like, “Get the Hell away from me, creep!” It was never like that before. It was the opposite. Obviously I am too old for them. This is 100% due to age and 0% due to anything else. Even if it were legal, dating teenage girls would be even harder for me than young women because honestly they harder to get if you are older. The younger the female, the harder it is to get her if you are an older man.
For one thing, teenage girls are much pickier than women. In every case I have known personally, the girls seduced the men, and the men were basically studs, players, playboys, womanizers, or whatever you want to call them. These were good-looking men with great Game who did great with women. Even in the cases I read about in the paper, the girls seem to be targeting the “Alphas.”
I have talked to teenage girls about this, and they told me, “We are not really into older men that much. But if we are at all, we only want the best, the cream of the crop.” Teenage girls are boy-crazy, and they will date all sorts of teenage boys. You don’t have to be an Alpha at that age. Many teenage girls have Beta or even Omega boyfriends. They are not so selective about boys their age. But once you start getting above the boys into the men, teenage girls get far pickier.
Bottom line is as far as I can tell, Beta and especially Omega men cannot even hope to get a teenage girl. Those girls only want the ~20% best men in your age group.
Look at cases in the paper. How many times have you heard of teenage girls pursuing movie directors (Roman Polanski repeatedly), rock stars (Bowie, Steve Tyler, Jimmy Page and surely many others), rich men (Trump, Jeffrey Epstein), teachers (strong authority figure with a good job and better than average smarts), writers (JD Salinger). See? They make a beeline for the best men.
Which has exactly been my experience. There are men out there who are attractive to most of the women. Call them the Alphas. Typically there are a number of women who would gladly date these men. These are the men that “all the women want.” Well, guess what sort of men teenage girls like? Exactly that type. Girls want the same cream of the crop men that the women want. Girls and women are not all that different when it comes to sex. They all want the same thing.
Why on Earth would you get involved with a man if it wasn’t consensual? If it’s not consensual then it’s rape. If it was rape, why didn’t you report it to the police? Color me baffled. You say in your practice you have met many teenage girls who were in nonconsensual relationships with men. Leaving the family aside (where coerced sex with minors is very common) how many girls get into nonconsensual relationships with men? Why would anyone do that? Are you saying that all these girls were raped? That every time they had sex, it was a rape? That’s what nonconsensual means. Rape. If all these girls got raped, why didn’t they report it to the police?
If most of these cases are really rapes and not consensual, why doesn’t LE file rape charges against the men? Instead it’s usually some statutory type charge that merely says his only crime was having sex with a female in some restricted, off-limits age range.
I’ve never heard a typical older man-teenage girl relationship that was not 100% consensual. If it’s not consensual, why would she be there in the first place. Teenage girls are pretty damn smart. You can say that kids don’t have the ability to consent because they are unclear on the concept in the first place. But to conflate the lack of agency of little girls with the wariness, worldliness and sophistication of teenage girls and argue that somehow teenage girls can’t figure out what consent means is nuts. Of course they know what it means. Only kids don’t know, and teenage girls aren’t kids. They’re neither children nor adults. We might as call them girl-women. I know them very well. They are far smarter, wiser and sensible about this stuff than most people think.
Every case I read about in the paper appears to be consensual, especially long-term relationships. How many times have you read that the girl refuses to testify against the man because she loves him, thinks he did nothing wrong or regards the relationship as consensual? I have read that so many times that I can’t count it. She often pleads with the court to release him, saying she hasn’t been harmed in the slightest.
The court disregards the fact that this was a crime involving two people where there somehow was no victim and heaves the guy into prison and throws away the key. In fact, so many teenage girls refuse to testify in these cases that it is almost expected behavior. The only reason the men ever go down is because someone else reported the case. The girl almost never reports the case. Why would she? She’s doing what she wants to do.
This non-testimony is such an epidemic that many states had to dig out their laws and make new laws and rules so that the testimony of the victim was not even required for a conviction. They had to throw out proof of harm because most of these teenage girl fake-victims will swear on a stack of Bibles that they were not harmed at all.
I would say that the one group that is probably most angry at all about this Teenage Girl Mass Hysteria is the girls themselves. Quite a few of them want to get with hot men, but every time they nab one of their dream men, people like you grab her beloved boyfriend and throw him in prison. Hell, the “victims” themselves probably hate this mass hysteria more than anyone else. Most of the “victims” probably hate the law that is supposedly “protecting them.” Isn’t that rather idiotic?
I still don’t believe a woman can be groomed. The author says grooming occurs whenever there is a power discrepancy. Does she realize how often there is a power discrepancy between adult men and adult female sexual partners? Does the author think it should be illegal to “groom” women? Would she propose an anti-grooming law for women victims of grooming?