Jason Y: Generally, I would disagree with crying and find it unmanly. Nonetheless, I think those obsessed with masculinity, honor culture on the level of Chuck Norris etc.. are masking insecurity. But hey, we all go thru karate phases etc.. growing up. At some point, though, it begins to seem idiotic.
No they aren’t. Those guys are the most secure about their masculinity of all.
Want to get along with them? Real simple. Just mirror their behaviors somewhat and abide by their codes of ethics and behavior. They really do not require much, and it is surprisingly easy to get even the macho-est guys to respect you.
Guys don’t really care too much about how you live your life. I had women tell me, “Oh masculinity is courage or honor or dignity or work ethic or grace under pressure or bla bla this or that,” but really it’s not any of that. These women were shocked when I said all you have to do is walk, talk, sit, stand, hold your coffee cup, move your limbs, and have mannerisms in the proper way. There is also an emotional code you should conform to but that’s not too hard. There is also a behavioral and ethical code which is about how you are supposed to act and what you are supposed to say in any given circumstances.
The women were stunned, “You mean all you have to do to be a man is display certain mannerisms and behaviors, tone of voice, etc.”
That’s it. Masculinity in the US is more of a talk the talk thing than a walk the walk thing. It’s all about a certain type of display. You engage in that display and you are pretty much in. Not much else is required. You ought to be heterosexual. Masculine men don’t like faggots too much. They may accept them, but they don’t want them in their club. Nor are faggoty straight men welcome. That gay stuff is just not ok. It might help if you can get laid too. Even better yet if you can pull hot women. If you are straight, get laid and pull hot chicks a lot of masculine guys will give you a break on all sorts of other things.
There are a few other things. Don’t be a flake. That means emotional. Don’t be too emotional. In fact, you might not even be able to be very emotional at all. Masculine men don’t seem to like much emotional display, especially negative emotion. They don’t even like anger too much. Too much anger looks scary and it looks like you don’t have your shit together. Also you seem like a “kook” or a “nut” – someone who is going around looking for fights. Believe it or not, that is very unacceptable in masculine culture.
Masculine men actually spend a good part of their time toning down their anger, ignoring it, burying it, displacing it, etc. Men are so violent and dangerous that any proper functioning male society has to have rules that call for mass tamping down of the anger most if not all of the time. Once you loosen those controls and let men get as angry as they want to anytime they want to, they will start fighting.
And fights among men are just too ugly. They get physical almost immediately because words lead to fists very fast among men. And physical fights among men are not ok at all because men are so strong, so dangerous and with such potential for extreme violence that there is almost no such thing as a simple fistfight that is guaranteed to leave it at that. Even a simple shouting much or God forbid a fistfight can escalate very quickly into dangerous, harmful or even deadly violence.
This is why when you see a lot of men together, one thing you will notice is that they are actually going to extreme lengths to keep any fights from breaking out. This leads to a lot of insincerity, men pretending to like men they don’t even like, and a lot of BS talk like endless jokes or talk about sex, sports or other meaningless subjects. All of those stupid jokes and pussy talk has one main purpose – to keep these men gathered here from killing each other!
If any sort of hassle or fight breaks out, a lot of men will dive in quickly to break it up. Even arguments get shut down by others very fast. The reason is because all men know how violent and dangerous men are so even arguments can blow out of control very fast. And most men want to minimize violence in their lives as much as possible. Most men have dealt with male on male violence and most have figured out that it’s not a pretty picture. It’s not harmless good fun. It’s scary as hell and most men are very much afraid of the violent potential of other men. Men who do not fear such things usually end up dead or in prison at a pretty early age.
Women actually display far more anger and violence than men, but in women the rage and violence is almost all verbal and emotional. It does not often go physical and even when it does, no one gets hurt because women are too weak and wimpy to fight well. This is actually a good thing because if women were as physically dangerous as men, the world would be at least twice or more as violent and dangerous as it is now and you would not want to live in that world. Every time I hear a man bitching about women, I say, “Sure they’re nuts, but that’s because they’re not like us. You really want to live in a world where all the women act like men? Living in a world where 50% of the population is men is bad enough.”
I would also say that gay men are much more violent and angry than straight men, but once again, it is mostly channeled into a lot of verbal aggression, bitchiness, bitch-outs, temper tantrums, jumping up and down, screaming and yelling, etc. Yes, you heard me right. When gay men get angry, they act exactly like an angry woman! It’s pretty easy to take because a man having a womanly bitch-out is more comical than infuriating.
People do not give men enough credit for the tremendous efforts they go through to keep the peace. Men are probably 1% as violent as they would like to be, or even less. That’s how repressed our rage and violence is. You take those controls off, and you get Iraq, Syria or Afghanistan real fast.
Don’t be nervous. Men hate nervousness. It is a feminine quality.
Don’t be depressed. If you are, hide it, dammit. Lie and say you’re not. Drink. Do something else instead. Anything. Men really hate depressed men. It’s unbelievably pussy. And women don’t like depressed men either. Actually, they hate them with a ferocity that must be seen to be believed.
Know the rules. Don’t break the rules and say or do stupid shit. That’s being a flake, a kook, a weirdo or an idiot.
Keep the gay stuff out. Homosexuality is out among masculine men. That’s the one place no one wants to go. You can’t even talk about it very much. Homosexuality is the turd in the punchbowl at any gathering of masculine men. Not only can you not do such things, but you cannot even think such things. A man giving off gay vibes like he’s turned on by other guys will see those vibes get picked up very fast and other men will start avoiding him. He may be asked to leave the gathering. Why? He’s the turd in the punchbowl. He’s ruining the whole gathering with his stupid faggy BS.
It might help if you worked. Men don’t like bums too much. You can’t work too hard to please other men. In fact, if you work more than one job or more than 40 hours a week, you will earn immense respect from other men for some reason. Workaholism is rewarded.
Don’t leech. Men don’t like leeches. If you do leech, lie and say you don’t. It’s not masculine to live off social services.
Don’t have a woman who openly ridicules you in public. If she ever does that, get in her face and say, “Shut up bitch!” It doesn’t matter who hears you or how shocked other people are. Nothing will happen. And you will earn brownie points for standing up to the bitch. Men don’t like pussy-whipped idiots who let their women push them around and bitch them out. Just having her do this is not bad in itself. What’s bad is if you puss out like a little girl, act submissive and hurt and tell her to stop in some whiny, high-pitched girly voice. It’s disgusting to just sit there and take it like a pussy.
You have to either fight back against the bitch or act cold and mean towards her. If you are in say a restaurant and your girlfriend is bitching you out in public, people might start giving you funny looks. I remember older Mexican men looking at me with disgust when that happened to me. You need to have serious consequences for that behavior. If that happens, tell her to shut up and then stand up and say, “I am leaving until you stop being such a bitch.” Go outside. Go sit in your car. If it’s your car, you can even ask when she will be done and tell her you will come back and get her when she’s done. Or if you have not ordered yet, tell her you are leaving and she’s either coming with you or taking a taxi home.
It’s not so much that it is humiliating to have your woman bitch you out in public. It’s more the reaction of the people around you. Some other people will be disgusted by her bitch-out and their attitude will be that you are a big fat pussy girly-boy who cannot control his woman. You lose a lot of respect from those people and their respect is important.
It’s not real difficult to get along with masculine men. Just follow some basic rules, be very careful about every little thing you say and do, and everything should go smoothly. Most such guys want to like you. They would much rather like you than hate you. If you act in a likable and proper way, they are more than happy to have you as one of them.