My answer to this question on Quora:
I’m gay and very emotional. I’m losing hope of finding a partner who shares my values because so many gay men seem to want random hook-ups and not much more.
Being gay has me feeling lonely, depressed and, even worse, as if I’ll never find true love in my life.
It has long been proven in the lab that gay men cannot be turned straight. Nothing has ever worked. All treatments have failed. Not only that, but new data shows that by age 15, gay males are already fixed in their orientations. Not only can they not be turned straight, but they can’t even move them one bit on the scale, say from a 0–100 to a 10–90. So it is looking that gay males being gay and not only that but their sexual orientation scale is 100% fixed by age 15. What turns you on, turns you on, if you are a male that is.
We do not know if straight males can turn gay because no one ever shows up in the lab wanting to turn gay. But how does it make sense that gay men cannot turn straight but straight men can turn gay? It is not possible, right? And if gay males’ sexual orientation is fixed early on, then straight men’s is too, right? So it is looking a lot like males get “stuck” somehow at whatever their orientation is.
However it is not known how or when males get stuck. Perhaps male sexual orientation can change in boyhood before age 15. No one knows.
And no one knows if gay men are “born that way” either, however, the latest research indicates that male homosexuality appears to be a developmental issue or developmental disorder if you will.
Something goes wrong in the womb with the mother’s hormonal levels and this appears to cause male homosexuality along with a lot of other things such as left-handedness. In fact, left-handed men have a very elevated rate of homosexuality. If it really is a developmental disorder like left-handedness, then people are indeed “born that way.” Not only born gay, but also born straight and perhaps bisexual, etc.
Females seem to be able to move around a lot more and some lesbians can be changed in the lab. Whether they go from lez to straight or to bisexual is not known, but they are able to react to men after therapy in the lab. So at least some females can change their orientation.
If males are stuck at whatever their orientation is, they have no choice other than to accept it. If you are gay, you’re gay. If you’re straight, you’re straight. If you are bisexual, you’re bisexual. Quit trying to change yourself and just be happy with who I realize that the gay scene is a tough one, but I am not qualified to give you advice on finding a good gay man partner. But many gay men seem to have this problem, and the gay scene is notorious for having many men who just want endless affairs and no relationships. So you’re not alone.