Most younger women seem to think that I am not attractive at all. That’s the message I seem to get from them all day long every single day. Compared to younger men, I suppose I do not come across well.
I was supposedly very goodlooking as a young man. I assume so because I heard this constantly. I even had 2-3 offers to be a male model, all around age 24 which is when I assume I looked my best. I was also quite thin at that age, all the way down to 150-165. Do they want male models thin like they want female models?
I applied at one agency. They told me I was goodlooking enough but they were not sure if I could handle the rest of the job because modeling is more than just being goodlooking. I turned down the modeling jobs because I was afraid of all the gay men. I was having way too much hassle with gay men at that point in my life anyway. Actually they were turning my life into something resembling a nightmare that would never end. Every day I got up and it was here we go again.
People think most male models are gay, but it’s not true. Actually most of them are straight. I know a man who was a male model and he told me that 1/3 of male modes are gay, another 1/3 are regular guys with a wife or girlfriend and another 1/3 are trying to screw every woman on Earth. He also told me that all straight male models have to fight off gay men all the time, “like mosquitoes in Siberia” is how he described it to me. This suggests that gay men do no go after men that they think are gay like everyone thinks. Instead I assume that they simply have no idea at all who is gay and who isn’t and instead they simply go after any goodlooking man. Their gaydar is a pitiful joke.
As a young man I had girls and women after me all the time. Unfortunately I also had men after me all the time too! Now why this is, I have no idea, but I have been gaybait since my teens. Maybe someone can tell me why this is.
It felt pretty good to be the hot guy that everyone wanted or at least liked to look at. But looks don’t last. Now matter how handsome or beautiful you are, there will come a day when your looks are shot all to Hell. I suppose I am approaching that point. My looks are pretty much history I suppose. It is a natural process but it is hard to take. It’s like going from the handsomest man on Earth to the ugliest man on Earth. It’s a pretty serious blow especially if you have some egotism going on, which of course I do.
The Buddhists say, “When you bet on the body, you bet on a losing horse.” Yep.