Night of the Living Anthrax Zombies

Here.

After a 75 year hiatus, anthrax zombies rise from their permafrost graves to kill again! They have killed a boy and a grandma so far and hospitalized 72 other humans. In the meantime as far as non-humans go, they have killed over 2,300 reindeer. This variety doesn’t like to eat brains*, but they can kill you dead just the same.

Whew! It’s a good thing there’s no such thing as global warming! They really had me worried there for a second!

*One of my favorite movie lines of all time comes from that great movie. It’s near the end when the huge police forces have been killed out to kill the zombies, who can only be killed with a bullet to the head. A nervous civilian asks a ranking cop if the zombies can move fast on the ground.

“Are they fast?” he asks anxiously.

The captain looks disgusted and turns away like he wants to spit on the ground. “Nah,” he says. They’re slow. They’re dead. They’re all fucked up.

God smiles down on you, George Romero.

9 Comments

Filed under Death, Environmentalism, Eurasia, Global Warming, Health, Illness, Regional, Russia

9 responses to “Night of the Living Anthrax Zombies

  1. William

    Based on the way the Black Death spread/was contagious, it is now thought to be anthrax, coming out VIA peasants and their crops.

    It also makes sense because it did better in warmer (but not too dry) climates, like South France, where there are presumably more crops. I’ve read 80% of the population down there was killed, versus 25% of somewhere like England.

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