What Is Masculinity?

A female friend, wondering what it meant to be masculine, averred that masculinity was about three things: exhibiting authority, being disciplined and only fighting with equals.

While any of those things will win you masculinity brownie points from  other men, unfortunately, I do not think that you need to do any of these things to be masculine. You don’t really need to exhibit authority, though if you are masculine enough, you tend to generate that authority anyway automatically if only through fear and intimidation.

You don’t have to be cool under pressure either, although that helps. My father always fell apart under pressure, and he was regarded as masculine. But you should not wear your heart on your sleeve, you should not be too nervous or defeated-looking, you should not always be deferring to women, you should not talk about your problems, and you should never admit that you are depressed.

There is a masculine way of exhibiting depression which is to be very cynical, complain in a helpless but tough guy, what can you do sort of way about things, and act like it’s hopeless in a cynical way. This stoic attitude is called “surviving.” You go out with that attitude, and guys will ask how you are doing. If you are depressed, you shrug your shoulders stoically. The other guy nods his head and says, “Surviving, eh?” It’s ok to be “surviving.” Even if you are depressed, you are supposed to be “surviving.” You are always surviving. You have never given up. That’s masculinity. A man survives.

It’s also ok and masculine to have this sort of “Life sucks”, “Fuck life”, FTW, badass sort of mindset, once again, rather stoically. The message is: life is tough. Life is hard, but you’re toughing it out. Masculinity means you are always toughing it out. Sure, life sucks, but you carry on anyway, hope for the best and look forward to the future maybe being better.

Don’t complain too much. Men are not supposed to be bitching and complaining all the time. If you complain about your job, a lot of men will say, “Go get a new one then.” If you don’t like where you are living, men will say, “Well move then.” If you are miserable with your girlfriend, a lot of men will say, “Go get a new one.” If you complain that your girlfriend is a bitch, a lot of men will say, “Show her who’s boss! Don’t put up with that shit! Put that bitch in her place!” Though marriage is a lot trickier.

A masculine man does something about it. Whatever it is, he does something about it. No matter the problem, he tries to deal with it to make it better in some way or another.

Unfortunately you can pick on weaker people and still be seen as masculine. A lot of masculine guys beat up women and hit their kids. If they act macho enough, no one cares. In Mexican society, it is considered macho to beat your wife. I asked about a job for a friend of mine once at Walmart, and a Mexican asked, “Does he have a criminal record?” I said yes. He asked what for. I said, “Domestic violence. Beating his girlfriend.” And I shrugged my shoulders as if to say, “What the Hell kind of crime is that?” The Mexican laughed and acted like, “LOL that’s not a crime.”

It would be nice if masculinity was really about exhibiting authority, being disciplined and picking on people your own size, and indeed, displaying obvious evidence of any of these things brings you great respect points from other men, possibly because they do represent masculine behaviors.

Really, being masculine is all more just a walk the walk and talk the talk sort of thing. If you walk the masculine walk and talk the masculine talk, most men assume that you are masculine right there. That’s really all you have to do. Masculinity is more about a surface behavior of “putting on a show.” As long as you put on a good show, other men figure you are masculine enough to be ok.

11 Comments

Filed under Gender Studies, Man World, Psychology

11 responses to “What Is Masculinity?

  1. Erik Sieven

    in a way being masculine is about being born masculine. It is basically having the luck of belonging to the upper 50%, 10% or wherever you set the threshold of having:
    a) low anxiety level
    b) high aggression
    c) physical strength in general
    d) dense bones, big bones and high muscle tonus in particular
    e) high testosterone
    all of those factors are of course correlated.

  2. Jason Y

    Is it worth being shallow to get a piece of ass ? Seems like so many of the macho have nothing beneath the surface.

  3. What about men who succumbed to Suicide? Is this masculinity going off the rails? Does lack of masculinity lead to Depression/Suicide?

    Suicide is very high amongst gay men. This sounds cruel, but gay men are not very masculine.

    I believe a lot of mass/spree killers are masculinity/ introversion gone wrong. But serial killers are very masculine, mostly, though.

    Are neurotic individuals less masculine?

    Is lack of masculinity the gateway that leads to downfall of a man?

    • Jason Y

      How about Russian Roulette for the very masculine? How dumb can you get?

      • William

        RONG!
        DUM CUCK!

        EVIL COLOREDS’ ELECTED CUZ OF WHAITE GUILTE ARE MEAN TO WHAITE MEN!

        • Jason Y

          Possibly we do live in a color blind society, cause Obama could not have been elected (twice) on white guilt. No way.

        • William

          Jason- It blows my mind how modern ShamRenners solely attribute Obama’s 2008 election to “White Guilt”. They’re the ones that are supposed to be relating more to the working class!?!!? Do they realize that Bush wrecked the economy into the ground (it’s an “in”, “out” type deal, came in good, went out shite, what happened in between?) So just because they hate Blacks they are willing to have the economy go from recession to depression?

          In our fully integrated society the “Coloreds’ bad” “Whites’ good” is nonsense, and is against their own interests in many cases. Was McCain going to handle immigration any better (for them) than Obama? Nope.

          Talk about tribal-thinking idiots.

    • William

      Cuckess! Don’t you read Mann Coulter!?! evil off-White politicians like Nikki GAYley and Narco Robio are mean to White men and drive them to kill themselves! (Mann Coulter actually said this)

  4. Jason Y

    Again with masculinity is a powerful reason why IQ is down for many groups. So many unhealthy things: 2nd hand smoke around kids, smoking while pregnant, doing drugs etc.. It’s all manly stuff.

  5. Jason Y

    http://www.economist.com/news/international/21645759-boys-are-being-outclassed-girls-both-school-and-university-and-gap?fsrc=scn/fb/te/pe/ed/theweakersex – Is masculinity to blame? Could it be boys spend too much time on video games, and social media (which would seem to be a more girly thing)?

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