Boyhood Is Vicious Because It Has to Be

I don’t think being bullied toughens anyone up, I’ve not seen such a phenomenon. I think people say that in order to wash their hands of any responsibility so they can go back to having fun. If parents of bully children would simply spank their boy/girl, this would diminish bullying. I’ve know people who were disciplined early in life like that and yes, they cut the shit.

You can’t stop boys from bullying other boys. Especially the nearly universal bullying of the serious outliers. Nearly everyone is going to get in on that. The very serious bullying by the psycho, evil “professional bullies” or superbullies who bully many other boys does not seem to be helpful or at least it didn’t help me anyway. I could never figure out what I could change about my behavior to get them to stop. Actually I think there was nothing I could have changed about my behavior to satisfy the psychobullies.

It toughened me up. Not the bullying. I didn’t get bullied that much anyway. That’s because I acted normal enough so as not to become a universal target of bullying.

But I got toughened up by the whole vicious culture of boyhood. I think it is good that boyhood is vicious. It has to be.

I got toughened up by the threat of bullying. There were certain behaviors that were so extreme and disliked that if you acted that way, you might just get hit. And by bullying the outliers who were acting in seriously inappropriate ways, I learned the lesson of, “You act like that, you get hit!” So I tried very hard not to act like that, and it was good for me to learn that.

14 Comments

Filed under Gender Studies, Man World

14 responses to “Boyhood Is Vicious Because It Has to Be

  1. RockT

    The culture of boyhood does need some aggressiveness, yes. But the bullying can go way to far, leading to spree killings later in life. Also, many bullied kids are highly intelligent and thus must be cultivated for their minds, while most all bully kids are mediocre t stupid- there are enough of those in the world already. Don’t underestimate physical discipline, it can, and does reduce bullying. If the bully is put in his place early by mom & dad, it will reduce (notice I did not say “stop”) it significantly, so that it stays in the realm of boyhood aggression. People are so afraid of this truth- yes, smack your punk son or daughter.

    • Also, many bullied kids are highly intelligent and thus must be cultivated for their minds, while most all bully kids are mediocre to stupid- there are enough of those in the world already.

      You seem to be talking about the real vicious sort of bullying that is done by the “professional bullies” or “superbullies.” These boys are usually dumb and they bully very high numbers of boys. I do not think their bullying is good for anyone.

      What I was referring to was “normal” bullying where the “bullies” are maybe 80-90% of the class, most of whom are not professional bullies and the bullied are the serious hardcore rejects.

      My group of friends were just regular boys. Some of us were very bright. None of us were stupid. The boys we picked on were not even necessarily all that smart. A number of them were sort of stupid. They were more the “universal reject” types.

      You seem to conflating two different sorts of bullying here. “Normal bullying” in which the bullies are maybe 80% of the boys and the victims are seriously abnormal and pathological bullying in which a few very mean professional bully type boys bully many other boys who are more or less normal.

      They are two completely different things.

      The sort of bullying where most of the boys are picking on some professional victim is going to be very hard to get rid of. You’re not going to be able to round up the parents of 80% of the boys and get them to stop doing what everyone else is doing.

      • RockT

        Yes, I was. I see that you mean “bullying” more in the teasing/ribbing/rough housing sort of way. Which is normal enough. But it can eventually lead to more psycho bullying, as they say: “you’re appetite grows as you eat.”

        Sorry for any confusion.

        • I do not know. ALL of us engaged in this teasing/ribbing/roughhousing stuff, and none of us turned into psycho bullies. The psycho bullies were ~5-10% of the boys I believe. It’s not a large number. None of us turned into evil psychobullies. I do not think there is anything to worry about. If you think you are going to eliminate the normal teasing/ribbing/roughhousing world of boyhood, you are in for a rude surprise.

          IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

        • RockT

          The same could be said of income equality and redistribution. No need to “eliminate” it, just manage/harness/reduce it. That can be done, easily and cheaply by a few well placed slaps early in life.

        • Jason Y

          The same could be said of income equality and redistribution. No need to “eliminate” it, just manage/harness/reduce it. That can be done, easily and cheaply by a few well placed slaps early in life.

          True, that seems to reduce it. I think what Robert is referring to is big brother teasing. My big brother used to do that. For instance, once I brought home a Bat Man game and it wasn’t good, and he cyncally said “It sucks” 😆 Stuff like that. That’s just normal.

        • Jason Y

          If my punk nephew I mentioned had more exposure to my younger big brother, than he wouldn’t have come out so mean, cause my big brother would have teased him so much, that it would put him in his place.

          Myself, I have a more easy going personality that just couldn’t handle my nephew.

  2. Jason Y

    When you say effeminate, my view differs from Robert’s. Bascially I take effeminate to be boys who are little bitches.

    For instance, my two nephews went to the beach and they bitched the whole time down there. I mean, think about it, two upper middle class boys complaining cause they were forced on a beach vacation.

    They also bitched cause they were forced to go to thier grandma’s house and to a wedding both of which, hear this, bored them…

    So I criticized their behavor, and then, my family criticized me. Saying it was none of my business, and I was being a narc and douche. It was like I was the wussy.

    • Jason Y

      Note these boys were way older than boys. One was 14 and the other 16.

    • You think 10 year old boys should be ok with boys who are so effeminate that they act like flaming faggots!? You’re crazy. Normal boys are never going to be ok with boys who act like that. Nor should they be. You want the lesson to be that it’s ok to act like a total flamer when you are 10 years old?! As soon as you make that behavior ok, you have a risk of a lot more boys engaging in it.

      • Jason Y

        I’m more concerned with immature behavior than acting gay. For instance, as I was saying those ungrateful teenagers being jerks to my family and on a vacation which many poor kid’s parents will never be able to afford.

        No I don’t really like boys acting like girls nor would I raise a boy to act like a girl or visa versa. But everything isn’t set in stone. For instance, some girls are tomboyish and some boys are less athletic.

  3. SHI

    Often bullied kids themselves turn out big bullies in adult life. Look at Donald Trump, I’m sure he got some nasty treatment in boyhood.

  4. Jason Y

    Blame it all on JT

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