Are “Extroverted Loners” Really Loners?

Found on the Net:

Extroverted loner – An extroverted loner would prefer to mingle with others for relaxation but for some reason ends up spending most of their time alone.

– Stuart K. Hayashi. Life in the Market Ecosystem. Lexington Books. 2014.

An extroverted loner is someone who longs to be around people but for whatever reason ends up being alone a lot of the time. To me, these people are just not real true loners at all. An extroverted loner, for instance, would spend a good part of his time when alone fantasizing that he was with other people. I have worked with people who spent most of their time alone, but they told me that most of the time they were alone they were fantasizing that they were with other people. I told these people that there was no way that they were real loners, and I did not even feel that they were true introverts. This sort of person might be thought of as a “frustrated extrovert.”

The reason I think these folks are not introverts is because real introverts do not spend most of their time when alone fantasizing that they were with other people. When real introverts are alone, they are perfectly happy, and they are not fantasizing that they are with other people. Perhaps they are quite happy to be away from people for a bit.

I am dubious if all shy people are really introverted. Probably many shy people are true introverts and are quite happy to be away from others. Yet some shy people are frustrated extroverts. I have met people who told me that they were very shy, and they spent a lot of time alone, but when alone, they spent most of their time fantasizing that they were with others.

I would say that it all boils down to your fantasies. Your fantasies tell you who you are. If you want to figure out who you really are, examine your fantasies. There is the secret key to your psyche.

So this indicates that a shy person can also be a frustrated extrovert. Perhaps they are afraid to approach others or fear being rejected.

If you go up to people, even those you see regularly even at say work, and try to make friends with them, there is no guarantee at all that that person will make friends with you. I understand this quite well. I am quite sure that there were a number of people I worked with who probably did not want to be friends with me at all. That’s normal and expected, but it shows you what happens if you walk up to people, even people you know fairly well, and try to make friends with them. You may well be blown off.

I have been blown off in this way hundreds to thousands of times in my life, and I have also had probably hundreds of friends down through the years. Most people probably just don’t want to be your friend. Quite possibly a few folks want to be your friend, but it’s not so easy to figure out who they are, and they might not approach you.

Most people are retarded Normies, and Normie retards do not understand what “loner” means. A loner means someone who dislikes people, has no use for them and is perfectly happy to be alone all the time. However, Normie morons think that everyone who is alone all the time is a loner! Not true! If they are very unhappy being alone all the time and long to be with others, then they are not loners at all! But all Normies are retarded, so they just can’t seem to figure that out. I forgot to add that there is no human being that a Normie hates more than a “loner,” even though they don’t even understand what the word means.


Filed under Personality, Psychology

7 responses to “Are “Extroverted Loners” Really Loners?

  1. Jason Y

    I would like to be friends with other people, but they don’t want to be my friend, LOL Mocking crying face.

    No, really a lot of times that’s the case. Of course, in some instances, I wouldn’t want to be their friend cause I’d view doing so as “selling out” my beliefs etc..

    Actually I’d rather work alone on projects etc… but I do long to be with others. I remember in South Korea, it was such a joy to see another westerner, it didn’t matter who it was, to have a normal conversation about anything.

    I think what it is, is that i like alone time for most of the time. That’s probably why working in South Korea didn’t bother me much, the isolation, but I do at times long to be social and have fun.

    • Jason Y

      Most of the places I was at in South Korea were isolated, and I didn’t seek out foreigners as I don’t drink. I just basically lived a hermit existance, also because I couldn’t really communicate with the Koreans anyways, not like I can with westerners.

      I did do some heavy drinking and partying in one town. But that was an isolated incident. It’s probably better to not party and drink as drunkards want to drink all the time and that becomes your life. There is no time for positive things like working out, jogging etc…

    • Another William Playfair Web

      Why did you live in South Korea?

  2. Gregory Chelli

    I think introverts generally have a lower social intelligence than extroverts

    Autistics are true introverts, they don’t like to be with others because they don’t understand them well. They are like naturally bad at maths people who don’t like maths at a result of their incapacity. There are probably no bad at maths people who fantasizing about equation and maths problems, as there are no autistics fantasizing about being in a conversation with people.

    The frustrated extroverts, or extroverted loners you are talking about are generally persons with high social intelligence who can’t fully use their gift in real life because of some emotional problem, like timidity for example. So, as you said, they end up created imaginary social situations in their mind to relax themselves. An analogy would be a math genius who is prevented to do maths for some reason, like being in jail. He would be thinking about imaginary maths problem most of the time without being able to do real math stuff on a blackboard or on a notebook.

    There are probably true introverts with high social intelligence and true extroverts with low social intelligence. But these ones are exceptions. People generally like to do what they are good at.

    NB: people with extremely high social intelligence may not be interested in people, because the general population would look autistic, and thus not interesting to them.

  3. jan

    Always taught i was introverted but i am probably somewhere in the middle.
    What`s that called, ballanced?

  4. Pingback: Loners Are The Most Loyal And Intellectual People You Will Ever Meet. Here's Why...

  5. Mayur Varshne

    There can be a very peculiar kind of loners, those who truly love beauty in every form yet prefer to keep to themselves unless they can really connect with somebody.

    Loners can, in fact, be people who are very volatile and therefore, pretty guarded and selective.

    Nothing much wrong with the loners as long as they give the respect where it is due.

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