Actually my lousy circumstances have gone on for such long periods that it is embarrassing to even discuss it in detail.
For one thing, I can hardly hold a job.
Sooner or later, usually sooner, I start to really piss off my superiors and I inevitably get canned. This despite my trying me hardest to suck up and do everything right. Part of the problem is that I do not take well to abuse. Various jobs have tried to abuse me as a worker and my response has been to give them the huge middle finger.
At one job, they two shifts of work on my one shift to save a capitalist nickel. They fired a good friend of mine, a Black woman, in the process. That pissed me off right there, but I started trying to see how fast I could do 16 hours of work. Pretty soon I was sleeping, eating, shitting, driving to work and working. I did have the weekends. I am a hedonist, not a masochist, so this was a huge drag.
Plus I was 23 years old at the peak of my life and my whole life consisted of work, sleep and little else. I did this for a bit and then I would work my eight hours and put in seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then finally one or two hours of overtime. Of course I left a huge pile of work on my desk but so what. Incidentally, I was an hourly worker and it is 100% illegal to force hourly workers to work overtime. It’s against the labor code. You can offer workers overtime and if they take it, fine, but if they don’t want it, you can’t force them to work one minute more than 40 hours a week.
For some reason, everyone I tell this to gets outraged and tells me that employees should have the right to force overtime on workers. Anyway this went on for a bit and then they brutally fired me, just like that, a huge middle finger. I was also selling drugs all over the factory (pills) but they never caught me doing that. I had a great Valium business going. I knew people who acquired large quantities of the pills via thievery from pharmacies, and they would give them to me to sell, and we would split the profits.
Anyway, that’s one firing story and it’s not the only one. You don’t want to hear about the rest. I’ve never been able to understand why it happens at all except that people love me at first but after a while, at least some people start hating me more and more. I try to stop the process but I can’t. Then it’s over.
I have an authority complex since teenage years, and I can’t stand being told what to do by anyone, including bosses. If they are reasonable, it’s fine, but when are bosses reasonable. I just don’t suck up to anyone. So here I am, a permanent adolescent at 58 with a lifelong authority figure complex. Bosses, cops, fathers, even girlfriends, you name it, they try to tell me what to do, and get resentful, disobey them or just flip them off and walk away.
The thing is that I do not wish to solve this problem. I have decided instead that I should not work for others and instead if I work at all, it will be for myself.