In junior high, I was not popular with girls or with much of anyone. But one nerdy girl seemed to worship me from afar. She would always nominate me for Class President or other accolades. I’d get maybe two votes, hers and mine, and that’s it, but it was interesting.
In ninth and tenth grade, I was an idiot. I was a nerd. I hung around with “the brains” a bunch of very smart guys who were complete nerds. I ate lunch in the Chess Club. That was all brilliant nerdy boys and zero girls. No girls like us or me either. None of those nerds could girl a girl with a million bucks and God’s help. And a lot of them were wimpy, feminine or even effeminate. I have no idea if anyone of them were gay, but a surprising number of those wimpy nerdy boys acted like effeminate faggots.
Bullies and neighborhood delinquents made fun of me. They would circle around me like vultures, call me gay and run in to hit me and then run away laughing. I would never fight back but instead I just stood my ground and took the abuse. I denied the charges and tried to slap them away, but I never ran away. Eventually they would quit and give me some of their pot they were smoking. Girls made fun of me for not having a girlfriend.
They openly mocked me. After a while of that, I decided I was going to be a cool guy. There were various tracks open to coolguyhood, but most were closed off to me.
But there was always stoner or better yet, drug dealer. So I turned into a drugger, a stoner. I grew my hair long, started listening to rock and roll, smoking weed and even taking LSD. Back then if you had short hair, you had “geek hair” and no girl would want you. If you wanted to get laid, you had to grow long hair like a hippie/surfer/doper/delinquent/bad boy. Pretty soon I was going to booze and pot parties. It wasn’t long before I was getting girls and having sex. And now a modicum of popularity opened up to me, and by my senior year in high school, I was at least somewhat popular. I was lost in a marijuana haze most of the time and my grades suffered, but I could care less. It was cool guy or die.
By this time I had turned into a bit of a bad boy and delinquent myself and I had a few brushes with the law. So I tuned the bullied victim role completely around.