Nobody Wants the Old Guys

There are young men in this town who are obviously gay and they don’t even seem to be interested in me, and they would have been when I was younger, that’s for sure.

But if I change it from official business (ordering something at a counter) to more friendly banter, I do see something turn on in them. I suppose that it’s inevitable that as a man ages, he not only becomes less attractive to women, which is obvious, but he also becomes less attractive to men. It’s more that that thought never even occurred to me.

But now thinking of it, they say in the gay community, “Nobody wants the old guys,” and the position of an older gay man in the gay world is even more tragic than many gay lives are already. If you think straight culture is youth-obsessed, you should check out gay male culture. It’s insanely youth obsessed.

Some say it is so bad that once you are over 25, you are considered an old man and are no longer desirable. Quite a few older gay man compensate for this by entering into Daddy-Son type live-in relationships where the older man plays the Daddy and the younger man is the “son.” I have seen some of these relationships and I have heard about many others. It’s not uncommon that the older man is paying the young man’s way at least in part in these relationships. I don’t know a whole lot about male prostitution, but I have heard that it is often older gay men with some money buying sex from very goodlooking young gay men who would apparently be not very accessible otherwise.

If there are any gay men among our readers, perhaps they could give our gay friend here some advice?


Filed under Culture, Gender Studies, Homosexuality, Man World, Psychology, Romantic Relationships, Sex

4 responses to “Nobody Wants the Old Guys

  1. Pingback: A Gay Reader Requests Advice | Beyond Highbrow - Robert Lindsay

  2. Noneofmany

    God. I hope it’s not true. I just turned 31 and haven’t even begun to date thanks to my medical problems eating up my youth.

    I do, however, think that this extreme ageism isn’t really true.

    A lot of men in their thirties and forties still make homemade porn movies that draw high viewership even if their only in moderately good shape; so long as their handsome.

    At least I’m tall and handsome.

    Got the genes for muscles and graceful aging as well. I’ve been out of shape for fifteen years and significantly over weight (nothing will make you more sedintary than constant illness).

    Now after one good summer I can go on a moderately difficult hike without really even getting tired.

    All male members of my family age super slowly. Zero hair loss too. Even into our 90’s.

    Now that I’m no longer sick all the time I can at least aspire to get in shape and have a good 30’s – 40’s.

    • Handsome works for women. Women my age still rant and rave about how stunningly handsome I am. I doubt if many young women feel that way. Maybe as you age, you will find, say that in your 30’s you are attractive to men in their 30’s, in your 40’s you are attractive to men in their 40’s. You really ought to only expect to be attractive to your own age range and maybe up, honestly. The whole idea of being attractive to younger people is a bit of a joke.

    • Am you are gay yourself, do you have any advice for our gay hair-cutter friend who is trying to make a discreet pass at his ostensibly straight male client.

      I actually get asked these questions. I have some good gay male friends and they come to me asking how they should go about making a pass or picking up on some guy they like. I tell them I don’t have a clue! Never seduced a man in my life, and hopefully never will. I would not know where to begin.

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