Yes Virginia, There Is a Christian Catholicism

One of the most bizarre things about own homegrown rightwing Christian Protestant fundamentalists is that they subscribe to the belief that somehow the very first Christians of all, the Catholics, are not Christians. Whether the Papists are apostates or simply heretics is not clear, not that it matters since crazy is crazy. Some of these kooks even push philosophies that say that all evil today is coming out of Catholic Central in the Vatican.

Of course this is scriptural madness. There is no such thing as Catholics and Christians. Catholics are Christians, and I do not care how many times these schismatic born-again nuts insist that they are not.

In fact, they are the very first real Christians of all, ignoring the original Christians who were so Jewish that no Christian today in their right mind would practice their religion though many insist that they do. Yes, you ask one of these Protestant nutcases what sort of Christianity they practice and they all say that they practice “the original Christianity” of say 60 AD or so. Well they don’t practice Judaism, so no they don’t.

But in going back to what they see as the original pure untainted ideal from 2,000 years ago, these Protestant fruitcakes are the equivalent of Muslim Salafists, and when they excommunicate everyone else, they are as bad as Muslim Takfiris like ISIS. So our modern Protestant fundies are sort of a Christian ISIS without all the head-chopping. Wonderful.

Anyway, yes, Christianity and Catholicism were the same thing for 1,500 years until Martin Luther, ignoring a few heretical Catholic splits like the Cathars, who were my ancestors by the way).

The first actual church, the Syrian Orthodox Church founded in 60 AD, now being destroyed and genocided by the “Christian” United States, UK, and  EU, in addition to the jihadist Muslim Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Qatar, was a Christian or Orthodox church. Catholicism and Orthodoxy are the same thing. One looks to Rome and the other to the east, formerly to Antioch but now to wherever the head of their local branch resides, as there is no Vatican of Orthodox since the Hagia Sofia was turned into a mosque by those lovely Muslims.

It’s all one church. The Western branch is headquartered in Rome, and the eastern branch is headquartered in various nations in Eastern Europe and the Near and Middle East. Even though love to slaughter each other in the modern era, it’s still all one big church. Cain and Abel if you will.

When these fruitcakes say that Catholics are not Christians, they are actually saying that there no Christianity for 1,500 years!

According to our modern evangelical loons, apparently there was some sort of primal Christianity in the Levant in the 1st Century (which was really just ultra-Reform Judaism). These incipient “Christians” kept kosher! Since when do Christians keep kosher? See how retarded these millenarian charismatic boneheads are?

Then apparently “Christianity” went away for 1,500 years. How likely is that?

I guess the real deal was crucified or something just like its prophet. Anyway in both cases, the Romans did it.

And then in re-run of the original, in imitation once again of its prophet, Christianity somehow rose from the dead, came back from extinction, shoved the Catholic Stone aside and strode out powerfully into the glaring sun of the brand new day. The man who resurrected the church and created Zombie Christianity or Protestantism is named named Martin Luther.

Nope. Catholicism in all of its baffling forms is the real deal – the original Christianity, and it doesn’t matter how many modern Protestant Flat Earthers say it’s not true. Historical facts are historical facts, and in this case, revisionism is just lying and some very stupid and transparent lying at that.

The first World Christian Church was headquarted in Rome in the 300’s with the conversion of the crumbling Roman Empire. Those who used to feed the heretics to the lions embraced the same heresy they once persecuted so savagely. That was the shot in the arm that the religion needed, and it was smooth sailing from then on. It mattered not that Christian Rome fell because soon enough the German pagans of Rome were automagically Christians themselves. Soon afterwards, a rival Catholic Church was established in Antioch in Christian Turkey and a rather restrained rivalry was on. All attempts to marry the two ends of the compass failed, but all in all it was an amicable divorce.

If anyone is a splitter or God forbid a heretic, it is the Protestants who frankly began their journey as blood-soaked Catholic heretic genocide victims. Tortured and murdered by the million for a century, the heretics became schismatics became a bona fide branch of Christianity not long after Luther died. The two branches of Western Christianity kept slaughtering each for a while, but familial homicide is actually one of the most common types, so the massacres go are not as counterintuitive as you would think.

Anyway if you have read this far, you can see that the point of this post that anyone who says, “No, I’m not Catholic. I’m Christian,” as you hear so often around my intellectually blighted environs, is a certified idiot and a delusional lunatic.


Filed under Antiquity, Catholicism, Christian, Christianity, Comparitive Religion, Conservatism, Europe, History, Idiots, Islam, Judaism, Lunatics, Middle East, Near East, Orthodox, Political Science, Radical Islam, Regional, Religion, Roman Empire, Turkey

21 responses to “Yes Virginia, There Is a Christian Catholicism

  1. Pingback: Great News: Antonin Scalia Dead at 79! | Beyond Highbrow - Robert Lindsay

  2. Jason Y

    I went to a Catholic church and I loved it. I saw no indication they were evil, or that priests were molesters etc.. Of course, this may sound gay of me to say, but you gotta love the art work in a Catholic church. Your sure don’t see anything that beautiful in a Protestant one.

    Nonetheless, there is a dark side. It is true the church wielded massive power in the middle ages and prevented the masses from reading the Bible. I don’t know if this was on purpose, or as with modern day third world right wingers (or high caste Hindus for that matter), they wanted to keep people down.

    • This is not true : there was never any order from the Old Catholic Church to prevent lay people or commoner from reading the Bible. What prevented people from reading the Bible before Renaissance and Reformation was the sheer cost of books. A whole Bible was too costly. Most of the Bible reading was done through individual books from the Bible, such as the Psalms, but knowing the Psalms by heart after having heard them was considered a far grander and more authentic way to transmit them, writing was more thought as a kind of back-up copy. Most art of the French Middle ages was but illustrated biblical sentences : like today, people of al ranks demanded multi-media to get interested (pictures, stained glass, sculptures and also mystery theatre representations), mere book reading was thought to be a chore by nobility and commons alike, it was entrusted not to the elite but to people like monks who were rather looked as technicians devoting themselves to ungrateful tasks.

      From Reformation onwards, when bookish occupations gained a prestige they hadn’t enjoyed up to then (we may compare computer science when it was still a purely technical work only the nerds engaged into to when it grew into a mass fad with Steve Jobs and Bill Gates) the Catholic Church did not prohibit people from reading the Bible in the now more accessible books, she prohibited the reading of Protestant Bibles and Protestant translations of them for fear of the heretical messages placed in them. On the other hand she encouraged the distribution of all biblical texts (generally one biblical book at a time, for economic reasons) but with abundant footnotes of her own, as the main counter-measure to Protestantism.

      Most if not all Biblical Protestants in Catholic countries were people that strove for the advent of the reign of the moneyed and merchant classes to which they identified even when they themselves were not rich, they were people that looked for a way to cut all solidarity with the surrounding common people, quite like the American Evangelists are still doing in Latin America, they were people that opposed the generosity of Catholic kings to common people as contrary to the will of God as expressed by the spontaneous functioning of the market and of nature, they were people that looked up for a pretext to regard non belonging commoners as pagan beasts of the kind the Hebrews of yore were shown by the Biblical Chronicles to treat as such. The Catholic Church by being very aggressive towards Protestant sects became very popular at little cost in Latin countries.

      What is true on the other hand is that the Catholic Church regarded personal interpretation of the Bible without the guidance of an authorized teacher or commenter appointed by her for interpretation as of zero or negative value for salvation, depending on it was mere leisurely personal ramblings or heresy. The Bible being read in public by non consecrated lips was not considered the word of God, so as to prevent ambitious people to go into Bible-thumping to overpower audiences. Faith was to be transmitted from mouth to ear by living persons, not from pen to eye, even though the pen did enjoy a beautiful role of its own as a tool of verification.

  3. I take Catholicism and Orthodox over the Protestants and crazy Evanjewlicals as the real Christianity, the latter has become a Zionazi-American imperial cult

  4. How people try to assert that there is a difference is baffling. If hey see Jesus as the son of god and savior along with recognizing the Bible as the true holy text is really al the criteria it needs, the only exception would be Mormonism which really is similar to other regional variants of Christianity that adds to the story of Jesus like in some parts of Africa for example.

    The fact that there are differences in the policy regarding divorce, who holds the power to interpret the Bible, and not recognizing the Pope as God’s Second is irrelevant.

    • Jason Y

      No, actually the difference is quite serious. The setup of the Catholic church, especially before the 60s reform, was so authoriarian that you couldn’t blame people for hating the church. In fact, the church use to officially believe non-catholics, even some innocent non-baptized babies were headed to hell.

      In fact, I think the Catholics invented the overall hell concept, and the protestants then inherited it. I see no indication from scripture that hell is eternal (of that the suffering is anything more than symbolic). It seems to only be some sort of purgatory, though different from what Catholics call purgatory.

      Give me a break? Fire? Eternal (never ending).

    • Hasdrubal

      For the fundamentalist of any faith the heretic is worse than the heathen, because the heretic perverts the faith.
      I’ve explained to some of the Mormons I know that if the Dominionists ever took control of the U.S. they would burn them at the stake for heresy before they got to my non-believing ass.

      • That true actually, plus a heathen (such as a pagan or atheist) COULD are often encouraged to be converted and saved by them, but a heretic is one in which they show no mercy.

  5. Jason Y

    It was often a tradition for Catholics to blame Jews for everything that went wrong, and I’m sure indravaruna would agree with such sentiment. However, how much was Jews and how much the church? It was just a medevil repeat of the same crap we see preached by right wingers nowadays, especially in banana republics.

    “Oh our country doesn’t really suck. It’s all the Jews. Yeah, that’s it.” LOL

    • I feel that all of humanity’s racial problems can be solved with interracial porn. I know when I see a black chick with a phat ass I lose all of my biases. Same thing with other non white women with phat asses. slurp

      But when I see an Asian with a phat ass I….

      I’m fuckin with you Jason, asian women don’t have asses. I’ve actually been searching for a picture of an Asian with a nice ass but I can’t find one. And when I do it’s average when you compare it to a black girl or a white girl’s ass. Maybe cause black and white people store fat in their abdomen and butt while Asians store it evenly throughout their bodies. Which is also why Asian people have such puffy fucking faces.

      • I’m not going to lie, that might actually filter out some people of racist ideology. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Robert has written in the past of how some WN’s were inconsistent with their beliefs versus their sexual lifestyle. In one I think he mentions how a WN lawyer was found to have Homosexual relations with a Black man.

        As basic and primal as it sound, sexual nature of people can stir quite the revelation about their true selves on occasion.

  6. James Schipper

    Dear Robert

    You are of course right in saying that Protestantism is only about 5 centuries old, but Christianity has almost from the beginning had a Latin branch (Catholics) and a Greek branch (Orthodox). The New Testament was written in Greek. This Schism was formalized in 1054, but it existed long before then. We should really regard Christianity as a religion with 3 main branches. To think in terms of 2, Catholics and Protestants, is West-Eurocentric. The Reformation was a purely Catholic phenomenon and didn’t touch the Orthodox world at all.

    In East Europe, even today, the conflict is between Catholics and Orthodox. For instance, the conflict between Serbs and Croats is really a conflict between Orthodox and Catholics, or maybe between descendants of Orthodox and Catholics. When religion is tribalized, people may fight each other because their ancestors fought each other over religion.

    If I’m not mistaken, the Orthodox churches have always allowed divorce and remarriage. A member of the Russian Orthodox Church could divorce twice.

    Regards. James

  7. James Schipper

    Incidentally, until fairly recently, Protestantism was mainly a Germanic religion. In, say, 1900, the vast majority of the world’s Protestants spoke a Germanic language, English, Dutch, German, Swedish, Norwegian, Icelandic and Danish. Finns, Estonians and Latvians are also Protestants, but their numbers are rather small.

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