Narcissism and Simple Egotism: Some Distinctions

Anonymous writes:

Also, a while ago, I have examined various self-esteem tests and found this one as very “thorough” (I don’t think I can put it any other way):

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3207

Supposedly my only issue is that I have too much self-esteem to the point where there is some narcissism going on, but not so bad that it is NPD. I had another therapist for four whole years and he never called it narcissism. Instead he said I had egotism going on, but his attitude was like, “So what!” And there was also a suggestion that he might have had some egotism going on himself. Anyway, he didn’t seem to think  that simple egotism was a bad thing.

This other guy was more of a stickler on not being prideful, and he was a bit wrapped up in narcissism being unhealthy. He said that I think I am “special.” The implication is also that I have some entitlement about me, and I deserve special privileges.

That is not the case at all. I do not think I deserve to be treated in any special manner. Hell, most people are not even all that nice to me. If I could even get people to have nice to me and treat me halfway decently, I would be perfectly happy. Special treatment? You’re kidding. I will never that from my fellow humans whether it’s owed to me or not, and I doubt if it is owed to me.

I had most of the narcissism taken out of me around 40 when I finally realized that about a billion really horrible things had happened to me in my life, including so many Failures that Failure should be my middle name. This was a very humbling experience and frankly it is normal. No matter what they were like before, life is very humbling and most people over age 40 no longer believe that their shit doesn’t stink.

I told my mother that the therapist had said I was narcissistic, and she fell out of her chair laughing, and then she shook her head. “Tell him to meet “Jeffrey.” Jeffrey is a member of my extended family who us around a lot. He is a classic textbook case of pathological narcissism to the point where he has full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. At this point, narcissism can quite a nasty little beast or a massive asshole, depending on how you want to look at it.

They are not fun to be around and there are some very ugly and nasty things about them that make you want to avoid them at all costs. They are arrogant and insulting and have zero interest in whatever is going on in your life or frankly you as a human being except when they are not wrapped up in crazed, sometimes violent pathological jealousy towards you. You are either a pathetic mouse who needs to be squashed or you are the envied rival who is so threatening to you that he needs to be destroyed at all costs. You can’t win with these types.

I do not think there is even a lot of narcissism. I am just your typical vain, conceited, egotistical, self-impressed douchebag. You know who they are; you have been seeing them your whole life. Just walk into any busy nightclub to witness this interesting species in its natural habitat. Sort of like the “Paris Hilton” personality except that is also shallow. I hope I am not shallow. Paris Hilton is a bit of a shallow and silly person, but I rather like her. She definitely doesn’t seem like a narcissistic little shit.

Anyway, all of the symptoms of the Paris Hilton Personality so common among celebrity types are also found in narcissists of course. The problem is that the Paris Hilton Personality only barely scrapes the surface of narcissism.

Real true hardcore ugly narcissism is pretty nasty stuff, and it goes way beyond these surface symptoms.

I do not even understand why this is a problem. Yeah. I like myself. So what! This is supposed to be a problem? Why? Look at all the people around you with low self esteem. That is far worse.

20 Comments

Filed under Mental Illness, Narcissism, Narcissistic, Personality, Personality Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathology

20 responses to “Narcissism and Simple Egotism: Some Distinctions

  1. Jason Y

    I’m wondering if parents posting their young children’s actions on Facebook 24/7 are feeding a future unhealthy narcissitic personality.

    I have noticed that some people who are given to much love, especially girls, grow up to be total bitches who think everything in life is a joke.

    • Jason Y

      Yes, my comment is motivated by a bad encounter with a girl. I noticed on her Facebook page that she’s the litle southern belle. That would explain why she’ such an airhead.

  2. Jason Y

    Definitely social media narcissism repulses me beyond imagination, especially when it’s the “family coddling type”, as I mentioned about the above southern belle bitch.

    Mark my word, and especially in this area, you can go on Facebook and say things, post things, and all your family will kiss your ass. They’ll tell you your wonderful and laugh at all your jokes etc. .all of that, just as long as you conform to the family.

    However, this behavior, I’m telling you can lead to some horribly shallow personalities, and personalities of people who think they’re cute and beautiful, and sometimes can lead to people who think everything is a joke, are so cruel, they would even make fun of retarded people (as well as a lot of times being racist).

    • EPGAH

      Have you ever thought that maybe the nonwhites’ bad behavior is narcissism? After all, we’ve been coddling them for half a century, even telling them the crimes they commit are “cute” and “not their fault”…
      So to them, not only is everything in life a joke, but they can do no wrong, right?

      • Jason Y

        Possibly, I won’t hold out the chance of that. After all, I’m a free thinker. I don’t always stick up for non-whites.

        It does seem like that a few of them assume jobs should be given to them, without consideration there are a lot of poor whites who don’t have he same opportunity, cause after all, these “non-white” narcissists only care about their people.

        Yes, you did bring up a major point.

        • EPGAH

          Wow, you’re actually conceding a little, I’m impressed!

          But make no mistake, the nonwhite narcissists care about THEMSELVES, not “their people”. From Jesse Jackson who admits to feeling “relief” when it’s NOT one of “their people” behind him when he hears footsteps down to the street thug who loots and burns for ITS OWN best interest. Its PEOPLE suffer because they acted like Orcs, they get treated like Orcs, right?

          And it’s not just jobs, or even college slots. It extends to the very streets.
          When a thug is confronted by a cop, they don’t think they should surrender! They think they’re God, and should fight the cop, force the “infidel” cop to surrender, instead. When the cop doesn’t put up with this shit, and kills them instead, it’s the ULTIMATE refutation of their “godhood”–until the cop gets fired, so it restores their ego, their worldview was “correct” after all, “See? You act against us, YOU get punished! WE ARE IN CONTROL!” (Or something of that nature, anyways. We can debate exact phrasing later, if you like.)

          And don’t forget when they breed more than they can afford and can always count on the Civilized World paying for their excess.
          Remember the old joke about cats thinking they’re Gods when humans feed them and clean up their messes? Same with savages.

          We need to break this God Complex–that our own treatment of these scum for the last half-century created–if we ever want to get anywhere in improving their behavior.

        • Jason Y

          A GOD complex in anyone or any race is very bad. I think at one time an aggressive attitude on the part of blacks (and other groups) might have been justified, but now it’s becoming tyrannical and is actually working against them.

          Actually some blacks, Phil for instance on this blog, don’t like the condescending attitude of white liberals. He may have a point.

        • Jason Y

          While I agree a lot of government programs are good and needed, too much coddling and government programs with NO accountability makes people soft and could ultimately spoil people.

        • Jason Y

          The problem lies in the fact human nature needs to be corrected before programs can work with certain people. However, note, the US government has played a huge role in making sure a lot of people’s nature is bad, on purpose. For instance, they purposely neglect black education, promote a prison/industrial complex, among other things.

          I mean, do you REALLY think the government wants to end black crime, one parent homes, disruptive black schools etc.. ? They do not, because it’s profitable. I mean, they can always find some Morgan Freeman character from the movie “Lean on Me” to do the job.

        • EPGAH

          “While I agree a lot of government programs are good and needed, too much coddling and government programs with NO accountability makes people soft and could ultimately spoil people.”

          Thank you and Kudos on figuring that out. They ARE spoiled. The riots we see now are the tantrums of spoiled brats. Just on a much larger scale.
          Just as the Menendez murdered their grandparents for forcing them into tennis lessons, thugs are burning and looting cities as retaliation for punishment.

          But your sentence “human nature needs to be corrected”, that is the ULTIMATE God Complex! We’ve made rivers flow uphill, we’ve brought the dead back to life, but “fixing human nature” is just beyond anyone’s abilities yet. Whole countries have failed because of it, with millions of people dying when they went against human nature!

        • EPGAH

          “The US government has played a huge role in making sure a lot of people’s nature is bad, on purpose” I had expected you to continue pointing out the flawed nature of Welfare (And its abuse by mega-breeding single mothers) here, but instead, you said something about “neglecting Black education”? You cannot train the unwilling. You can lead nonwhites to info, but you can’t make them thin, much less learn.

          Even if you could somehow fix the idea that learning is “acting white”, Blacks are proven to be more disruptive in a school environment–when they’re not truant. And worse, when one IS disruptive, rather than IT being punished, the one who tries to remove it or silence it is punished. Look at the firings of teachers who tried everything from “Corner Therapy” to duct-tape to silence the disruptive…Then look at the firing of that cop in Spring Valley who had to LITERALLY pick up a disruptive student and carry her out the door!

          Or when a teacher spanks the brat for being disobedient?
          http://abcnews.go.com/US/maryland-substitute-teacher-caught-belt-discipline-students-video/story?id=31169753
          Note they say the TEACHER is caught, not the disruptive students!

          Actually, neglecting Black education would be a good thing, if you could put the ones who couldn’t be bothered learning to WORK! Maybe the threat of Community Service would make them pay attention?

          A Morgan Freeman character is not what’s needed in most Black schools, you need something like the mercenary in “Substitute”
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Substitute
          “Power Perceived Is Power Achieved”.

        • EPGAH

          And Phil is ABSOLUTELY right about the condescension implicit in these Liberal “help” programs.

          If you and I were playing a game together, anything from basketball to Call of Duty to some IQ test, and I told you you’re such a loser that you need bonus points even to be my EQUAL, much less BETTER than me, you’d smash me in the face for the insult, right?

          And yet, isn’t that exactly what every one of these “help” programs are doing, Affirmative Action just does it the most blatantly obvious?

        • Jason Y

          Sorry mistake in html. Here is my response to ep-gah and his view that liberal help programs are condescending and babyish:

          Not always, but sometimes. We have to be on the lookout for “over-kill” in anything.

          Of course, the stuff that would really HELP black people, among others, including poor whites, as I said in other comments, is not implemented cause it isn’t profitable to corporations.

        • Jason Y

          quote by ep-gah

          “The US government has played a huge role in making sure a lot of people’s nature is bad, on purpose” I had expected you to continue pointing out the flawed nature of Welfare (And its abuse by mega-breeding single mothers) here, but instead, you said something about “neglecting Black education”? You cannot train the unwilling. You can lead nonwhites to info, but you can’t make them thin, much less learn.

          Even if you could somehow fix the idea that learning is “acting white”, Blacks are proven to be more disruptive in a school environment–when they’re not truant. And worse, when one IS disruptive, rather than IT being punished, the one who tries to remove it or silence it is punished. Look at the firings of teachers who tried everything from “Corner Therapy” to duct-tape to silence the disruptive…Then look at the firing of that cop in Spring Valley who had to LITERALLY pick up a disruptive student and carry her out the door!

          Or when a teacher spanks the brat for being disobedient?
          http://abcnews.go.com/US/maryland-substitute-teacher-caught-belt-discipline-students-video/story?id=31169753
          Note they say the TEACHER is caught, not the disruptive students!

          Actually, neglecting Black education would be a good thing, if you could put the ones who couldn’t be bothered learning to WORK! Maybe the threat of Community Service would make them pay attention?

          A Morgan Freeman character is not what’s needed in most Black schools, you need something like the mercenary in “Substitute”
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Substitute
          “Power Perceived Is Power Achieved”.

          No, I strongly disagree. Black people could be trained as well as anyone else. However, the government does not want to put in the “muscle” to do the job effectively. It’s because it’s more profitable to neglect the population, and then send a proportion of them to prison.

          In a sense, liberals are candy coated faced liars, cause they’re working hand in hand with the prison/industrial complex. Also note blacks have the most abortion, something which liberals idolize. In fact, abortion was concieved as a eugenic way to control the black population.

        • Jason Y

          Actually, and this probably isn’t a shock to people on this blog, I was a wuss in school and bullied. lol Yes, even in white schools, the adminstration is unwilling to punish disobedient kids, bullies etc.. Much the same also in black schools where it’s simply expected by the society that the kids will go to prison. But that’s fine and dandy cause it’s a very profitable scheme, much as the medical industry is.

        • EPGAH

          And when the Government DOES send in the muscle, the muscle gets punished–for doing the job it was ordered to do. Isn’t that what muscle is supposed to do? If they say “Take This One Out Of School”, and he does…why punish him for it? That is EXPLICITLY what happened in Spring Valley.

          As to your “not always but sometimes”, that’s the worst non-answer you’ve ever given. Either you’re my equal, and you don’t need a cheat to compete with me…Or you’re deeply inferior to me, you need to cheat to even PRETEND to be my equal. If you’re my equal and you still cheat, then that’s an insult to one or both of us.

          You are sadly correct about the bullying thing, I myself was suspended for fighting back against a bully.

          This is why people whose parents can afford it don’t go to public school at all. Homeschool students outscore public school students in all categories. Problem is, most families don’t have — or don’t TAKE — the time to homeschool their kids. Private school DOES have a way better curriculum, as they can discriminate out the dumb ones, but there’s a more “refined” class of bully at private school.

  3. Anonymous

    I don’t mean to get personal, but honestly, I got the impression that you have low self-esteem. But, I don’t know you, so I won’t make conclusions.

  4. My sister was a narcissist. I’m convinced that she had NPD. Horrendous is the best way to describe being with her. Nasty, demeaning, demanding person. It got to the point that I had to stop calling her because I couldn’t take the abuse. It was sad, though, because she had cancer and I knew it was terminal yet I could barely stand to talk to her; and I only went to visit her once while she could still ambulate because some relatives were coming to visit from Europe. I did manage to visit her at the very end when her body was totally wracked with the disease. It was such a shame that, even though I wasn’t going to see her again, I couldn’t bring myself to go stay with her earlier than the very end; but she brought it on herself.

    I recall one conversation. I told her that I was going to a wedding in CA and that I’d be visiting Yosemite while there. She answered, “Yeah! You can go all the way across the country to see THEM, but you can’t come and see me!” Now, this was after the boyfriend had told me that she had ordered him not to say anything to me or my other sister about her medical status. She didn’t want us to see her in this wretched condition.

    That’s the way it is with these narcissists. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Everything involves them and their feelings. You only exist to serve their needs be it tearing you down in order to build up their ego; using you to suck every last bit of enegy or money or whatever out of you because you exist solely to please them when and where they need it. It’s not only demeaning to you but tiring.

    I have read up on them and the only way to deal with them is to avoid them. Sad but true. Just my two cents worth.

    • Guy from Montréal

      I haven’t spoke to my own father in 20 years because of him being such an asshole, yes avoidance is the only solution.

  5. I’m so happy, I’ve found my friends, they’re in my head.
    I’m so ugly. Broken mirrors.
    I’m so horny. Nobody wants me.
    I’m so lonely. Shave my head.
    Light my candles in a daze cuz I found God.

    I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m fast, I’m pretty, and can’t possibly be beaten.
    I am the king! I am the greatest! I’m a bad man!
    If you ever dreamed of beating me, you better wake up and apologize.
    What percentage of the people are coming to see you?
    100% are coming to see me, but 99% coming to see me get beat!🙂

    You can change your attitude but not your personality. It’s the law of psychology. I’m the narcissist. All or nothing.

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