Game/PUA: A Few Words on Friends with Benefits or FWB’s

That’s Depressing writes about this article:

That is so disheartening to hear. It sounds like there’s no way to have truly fun sex other than to go for prostitutes.

Forget about “girlfriends”, how about that kind of relationships called “friendship with benefits?” Can’t you get those going without it being stressful the way you describe?

Life is stressful period! All the way through and it never lets up til the end.

Also there is a down side to everything my friend! Even dream lifestyles such as in the above case, every man’s dream, often have massive downsides.

I suppose FWB’s stuff can work out pretty well, but it just that I haven’t really explored it too much.

The only problem with those is one of the parties, say Party A (often the man!), often starts to fall in love with Party B (often the woman!), and then Party B (woman) either ends the FWB thing or completely flips out and has something like a panic attack. Looking around, I have noticed that FWB’s seem to turn into love affairs on the part of at least one of the parties after a bit. It’s often the man who falls in love with the woman, and the woman who only wants sex! How how is that for a turnaround of stereotypes?

Another problem is Party A (often the woman) starts to fall in love with Party B (often the man), but doesn’t exactly come out and say it explicitly, and is quite duplicitous about it. Party B (man) notices Party A (woman)  falling in love and points it out to Party A (woman). Party B (man) is often starting to fall for Party A (woman) anyways, but he might be holding back cautiously to see if things will be reciprocated. In this case, Party A (woman) angrily denies that they are falling in love even though they are, freaks out in something like a panic attack and angrily ends the relationship. For some reason, it is often the woman who is in denial about being in love.

The women in the two examples above are often modern young women. These women often have intimacy issues, and it is common to hear them say that they have never been in love. They often also cannot reach orgasm during sex, even though they can easily reach it with masturbation.

Both examples seem to imply an intimacy fear or issue with intimacy. They have fallen into a FWB lifestyle of somewhat uncomfortable and slightly awkward loveless sex, and there are ups and downs to that. One of the downs is a near-phobia of commitment that results in a life without love but with plenty of sex along with a lot of orgasm-less sex compensated for by orgasm-rich masturbation sessions of which the latter mainly serve to painfully accentuate the former. I have read a number of articles about young women nowadays who display these characteristics. I suppose it is some societal trend.


Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Man World, Psychology, Romantic Relationships, Sex

4 responses to “Game/PUA: A Few Words on Friends with Benefits or FWB’s

  1. EPGAH

    Ouch, another negative Sign of the Times I never even thought of!
    Like you said in another thread, even a dream lifestyle has its price?

  2. Tulio

    I don’t think it’s possible for two people to repeatedly have sex with one another without one of them catching some feelings for the other.

    • Tulio

      After all, sex is the most intimate act you can have with another person. Our brains are wired to bond in that way.

      • EPGAH

        ORDINARILY, that would be true, but Robert’s second-to-last paragraph pointed out, now that sex is treated almost as casually as a videogame, it’s having side-effects with brain-wiring, even shorting out the orgasm feature.

        What do you expect when you treat “the most intimate act” as casually as a damn handshake?

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