How Common Is Sex among Siblings among Teenagers and Young Adults?

Sammy writes:

“Brothers and sisters fuck quite a bit, as teenagers…”

Really? Brothers and sisters who grew up together from day one in the same household? How do you know of this? I’ve heard of it happening between step brothers and sisters, but never heard of it happening between actual “blood” brothers and sisters who both share the same parents and grew up in the same household. Percentage-wise, how often would you say the latter happens (and what are you basing this on)?

Unfortunately a lot of this falls under the category of “child molestation,” but it usually isn’t. A lot of teenage boys have sex with their vulnerable younger sisters. With the sisters, it is often more or less consensual. Childhood sex play often involves brothers, sisters, cousins, and their friends. The age ranges of childhood sex play can range from six all the way up to 15 for both sexes, and it is possible that all ages can be involved at the same time. For instance, scenes, often with brothers, sisters and cousins, can occur with groups where the age ranges from 8 all the way up to 15 and can include both homosexual (often lesbian) and heterosexual conduct.

Not only do brothers and sisters have sexual experiences particularly in adolescence, but sisters have a lot more sex with each other than you could possibly imagine. Young teenage sisters around the ages of 13-15 who are just discovering the joys of masturbation (as almost all teenage girls are nowadays at a very early age, typically 13) have lesbian sex with each other, mutually masturbate each other, etc. I would say that maybe 5-10% of sisters in this age group engage in this activity. All of the cases I saw involved girls with a predominantly heterosexual orientation. So most sisters who are doing this are not lesbians. Instead they are straight or possibly bisexual.

I discovered a lot of this activity when looking through forums where younger teenage girls were discussing sexual issues such as onset of first pubic hair and sexarche, onset and frequency of masturbation, and some other sexual things. It is from these forums that I derive my 5-10% figure because ~5-10% of the girls on that forum admitted to having sex with their sisters. The age range for this sister-sister sex was 13-15.

Sources: I work as a counselor, and I hear stories of childhood sex play from clients constantly.

Teenage boys having sex with their younger sisters is extremely common as we can see from recent famous cases. It is typically brushed under the carpet, as it possibly ought to be.

Arrest in these circumstances is just wrong, and in California, other than rape, all sex between juveniles of all ages is legal. You simply cannot arrest two kids for doing consensual sexual things with each other. If there is a serious age discrepancy with a teenager (usually a boy and typically a brother) doing sexual things with a young child (usually a girl and typically a sister), the teenager must be told that this is unacceptable and must stop, and they should have to undergo counseling.

Generally this sort of thing is handled by Social Services, social workers and therapists in California and not law enforcement, which is how it ought to be. In extreme cases of teenage boys serially molesting young girls, they may be remanded to the juvenile justice system, but they may not be tried in the adult system. At any rate, clinically this behavior means little as according to the DSM, pedophilia cannot be diagnosed in people age 16 or younger.

There are videos on the Internet of brothers having sex with their sisters or at least of people claiming to be brothers having sex with sisters. I have no idea how old they were, but they appeared to be older teenagers. I felt that they were genuine.

To give you an example of how common this activity can be at least in certain circumstances, in Egypt, due to a housing crisis, young people are not able to move out of the parental home, so young adults of the same family are often living under the same roof. Not only that, but living conditions are so overcrowded that these late teens and  young adults are often sleeping in close quarters in living rooms, etc.

A recent article in the US press noted that there is an extremely high level of sexual activity among brothers and sisters occurring in urban Egypt in these circumstances. The brothers and sisters engaging in this activity were ~16-23. Egyptian society didn’t seem to be interested in doing anything about it. I assume that this behavior was either denied, brushed under the carpet or dealt with in the family, probably by silence and willful ignorance. Law enforcement was not getting involved.

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42 Comments

Filed under California, Egypt, Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Incest, Law, North Africa, Regional, Sex, USA, West

42 responses to “How Common Is Sex among Siblings among Teenagers and Young Adults?

  1. Jason Y

    I couldn’t even stand the thought of my adult family naked, much less having sex with them. So much for my adult family going to a nudist camp. Note, most of my family are “stereotypically, as society would falsely say”, beautiful looking. Nobody is fat etc..

  2. Vid

    This is pure sick. I dont think it is that common esp in close-knit families. Usually this kind of behaviour is observed when there are a lot of family issues like divorce, domestic violence, rape etc are going on. In muslims I dont know, but in many religions this is completely prohibited and it is parents fault if something like this is ever caught.

  3. Marilyn

    I think it occurs more often in families where the children are not properly socialized outside the family, and within the larger extended family, and not educated in a spiritual faith to make them aware that this is not acceptable behavior. Exploration of your own body is not prohibited, but a mutual sexual experience between siblings is not healthy for them emotionally, aside from the immorality of it. Incest may have been allowed years ago but time has proven this to be an unhealthy and unwise attitude toward sex.

    • Tony

      I agree. My first wife was the youngest of a family of six children, three girls and three boys. In the course of our 10 year marriage, she occasionally mentioned that she was very close to the oldest boy in the family, and gradually I was able (often with the help of alcohol!!) to get her to go into more detail.

      It was soon obvious that they had both been intimate with one another and had had oral sex. But some time later when my wife was very aroused and a little drunk, she admitted that she had had full sexual intercourse with him a number of times. I asked her how she felt about it, and she told me straight that she had really enjoyed the experiences and would certainly do it all over again if she had her life again. It clearly didn’t do her any harm at all, and I would go as far to say that she was a terrific lover who enjoyed sex immensely and made it very good for me too.

      In comparison, my second wife who was a Roman Catholic Convent Schoolgirl was and continues to be hopeless at sex, with so many hangups that I have had to quietly go elsewhere on occasions for relief. I would certainly have left her a long time ago if I didn’t love her so much!!

  4. Doesn't matter

    In native reserves in Canada it’s pretty much a guarantee that brothers will sexual molest their sisters once they start puberty. I’ve heard stories of parents putting locks on their youngest daughters door. Incest is huge in Canadian native reserves, but a lot of the time it’s not consensual. That’s at least what the girls I’ve dated said, but part of me thinks it is sometimes. Usually it’s forced at first i think, then it becomes consensual, but I can’t be sure about this. I know the girl I was talking to about this was in tears when talking about her experiences. I just find it hard to believe such rampant sexual incest is all not consensual. If it’s happening that much, some it has to be consensual

    • What does an aboriginal Canadian girl say after sex? Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my cigarettes.

    • Kirsta

      What is wrong with you? It may be consensual SOMETIMES, but sex that is “forced at first” is NOT CONSENSUAL, it is ALWAYS RAPE. And guess what, rape does happen “that much”.

  5. abcde

    i think if there is consent between the siblings and they are enough mature to understand the physical pleasure, its not a bad idea

  6. Hank

    If it is consensual, neither is under age, and if they take all precautions to pratice safe sex to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, the question is: why not? Under such conditions it is a victimless “crime”. They may fulfill in the physical and emotional needs of both. Inter sibling sex is common in many European countries (France, the Netherlands, Russia, the Scandinavian countries), often with the knowledge of the parents (who in many cases will even assist their son and daughter to practice safe sex, and have ample opportunities to be alone together). There it is no big issue and incest is not a crime.
    With the advent of HIV and STD’s, and with reliable safe sex methods, inter-sibling sex is a good alternative to high risk sex with others. Besides, society’s attitude towards sex has changed over the years: it is no longer practiesed mainy for procreation (breeding, such as in the animal world) and practised for recreation and mutual enjoyment.

  7. Paule

    I am here because my partner has recently disclosed to me that he has had a sexual relationship with his older sister while they were “younger” (assuming teenagers, also 5 years apart). Now I have only been seeing him for the past 12 months, but what I can tell is that his whole family is close and functioning. My own family is more dysfunctional then his. He is 40 and seems to be unaffected by it. He also understands that sexual relationships between brother and sister are considered “taboo”.

    I am a very nonjudgmental person, but this I find this concerning, so I’m basically trying to understand it. Is it because I believe it to be unnatural that I find it hard to understand his calmness about it?

    • Of course that is why you cannot understand his calmness about it.

    • Dee

      I too care about someone who had an almost identical situation, I’ve wondered how it’s affected him as an adult, I don’t think it’s a positive thing. I know he feels guilt and it’s affected his sexuality. At this point I can only offer to have an open ear and let him speak when he feels that he has something to say about it. He seems to have a pretty normal relationship with his family members now. Some things are best left in the past and forgotten…

  8. Jason Y

    Finding a 2nd or 3rd cousin hot isn’t abnormal but should be massively discouraged anyway. However, there is some inborn resistance to seeing one’s family naked. However, among nudists for some reason they don’t seem to care and of course going beyond nudity is incredibly disgusting.

  9. Justin

    When I was growing up in the 1980s, I knew of several cases where an older brother had been sexually involved with a younger sister. They were not exactly open secrets, but the girls sometimes talked to their friends and there were a few pregnancy scares. To the best of my understanding, the girls preferred not to be in sexual relationship with their brothers. Excluding the clear cases of forcible rape, they were pressured into it in various ways by their brothers who usually had a lot of influence over them as an older sibling. They consented (though I would think the the words “submitted” or “relented” would probably be more appropriate) to the sexual contact for a lot of reasons. Either they thought that was normal, they didn’t want to get their brother in trouble, they didn’t think anyone would believe them or take their side, or they were emotionally dependent on their brothers because of emotional or physical neglect by their parents or guardians and had sex with them to keep from being rejected by them. The only case I personally knew of where the girl supposedly had no problem with the sexual relationship she had with her brother, she had a personality disorder and boundary issues. I don’t know if her problems stemmed from the relationship with her brother or from other things. She also slept with other people of both sexes from an early age and worked as a stripper.

    You can make all kinds of excuses for that kind of behavior, but I’ve never known anyone who had been in that kind of relationship who ever said it was healthy or who didn’t regret it. This kind of thing messes people up and they have problems developing healthy relationships.

  10. Zak Zhango

    Reading the bible it is clear that the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve must have had sex together so how about that for setting an example?

  11. Lance

    I would try it if my sister was hot but both are NOT at all hot. Still the idea is a turn on, I bet there would some kind of repercussions. Lance

  12. LPC Counselor

    When does sex play and discovery become a problem? Brothers and sisters often show and ask each other how this works and what does it feel like. Since parents fail to educate children when they are ready to listen, the sibling older or younger becomes the resource to ask. Continual sexual contact after siblings become older is not appropriate, but without parents being involved, the limit becomes distorted.

    It happens and it does not always cause social problems. Without my older sister, I may never have known about sexuality. Parents never talked about sex. In fact my mother never knew she could have an orgasm til she was finished having children, and her daughter asked her about it.

  13. Joe

    I’ve been attracted to my sister since I was 7 or 8 years old, and at 13 that’s when I became very attracted to her. She is 2 years younger than me and did flirt with me back then like giving me the eye, etc., but we never touched unfortunately.

    But I believe if the feelings are mutual between brothers and sisters of a similar age and it becomes physical, it can be tremendously beneficial for both. Just think about it. If you have a partner who loves you whatever happens, it can be mentally and physically helpful, especially through difficult times like your teenage years at school and university.

    The only drawback I can see is the law and cultural attitudes towards it making it hard and thus destructive to both people. I think only in a few cases is it ever abusive, and these are the ones that get the publicity. Unfortunately the majority where the brother is the oldest, he wouldn’t think of hurting his sister because it will reflect on him for the rest of his life and damage him mentally if he had any morals. I believe these brothers who do hurt their sisters have mental health problems or have some form of brain damage or inherited disorder.

    • Peter

      I think that many brothers and sisters go through a young hormone induced flirtaceous period starting around puberty. You could call it experimental. In my case it started at 16 with the same age difference as Joe above. In our case it was consensual and she did touch me and I can say it was very beneficial to both of us at the time. There was no forcé and it was almost a daily occurence for many years. It was extremely pleasurable but I do have regrets and guilt but not at the time. We decided to end it because it was a relationship that had no future and we knew it was wrong but to me very exciting.

      • Rob Nally

        Peter,
        It was almost exactly the same with my own sister. Yes it was very pleasurable over more than a 10 year period but we had to end it for the same reasons.
        Rob

  14. Joe, surely the real drawback is that if there is a baby born from brother and sister there is more of a chance that an undesirable gene will be present in the baby as there is insufficient diversity of DNA from the parents?

  15. How would this effect someone’s self image or self esteem? In later relationships would these memories be repressed. Certainly would not be a topic of conversation. Would you encourage continuing this behavior? Would you remain neutral? Would you pursue “why” ?

    • Um, I would not encourage such behavior. Instead I would remain neutral. But I would make it illegal to carry an incestuous baby to term. If you don’t abort it, you are both going to jail. I do not see why it is a problem other as long as they do not have kids.

      I am absolutely stunned at the numbers of brothers and sisters who fuck each other, even off into adulthood. It’s mind-blowing.

  16. Mimi

    How could anyone be turned on by their sibling??? Wrong and disgusting!!!!!!!!

    • Zak Zhango

      Please tell us more Mimi – just why is it wrong and disgusting? I can understand that social conditioning from childhood may make you believe that but with an open mind as an adult why would you believe that?

      • Mayur Varshne

        It may not be entirely unnatural to get physically attracted to one’s sister but the very same person can pretty well get physically attracted to his mother or his daughter.

        An individual can not be allowed to get carried away with every single whim and fancy of his.

  17. Meg

    I am VERY sexually attracted to my half-brother but we were not raised together I’m also very sexually attracted to my birth father who did not raise me. Can’t act on it though 😦

  18. jason voorhees

    TRB

    Typical Redneck Behavior.

  19. ROBERT J A VESSELL

    I FOUND YOUR ARTICAL VERY INERESTING AND I CAN VERAFI MANY OF THE THINGS YOU TOUCH ON BECAUSE I ENGAGED IN SEX WITH MY SISTER NO INTERCORS BUT ME SLIDING MY PENIS BACK AND FORTH OVER HER VAGINA AND CLITORIS MAKING HER VERY WET AND GETING ME OFF AND HER AT SAME TIME.

  20. It never occurred to me. My sister is nine years younger than I am.

    When I was 13-18, my sister was 2-9. At age 20, my sister was 11 years old. We were never that close anyway.

    Besides that, I am not saying she is not attractive, but I am not attracted to my sister at all for whatever reason.

    Now my girl cousins on the other hand…Wait, let’s not go there…

    • Zak Zhango

      Quote Robert:
      “Now my girl cousins on the other hand…Wait, let’s not go there…”
      Oh go on!
      …….please?

      • It’s part of history now, never to be repeated. I can’t be talking about those times on here. They might read this blog and if they find out I am talking about that, they will literally murder me. And most of my family knows nothing about it either. Could be scandalous. Let’s just say I was extremely close with at least one of my girl cousins and leave it at that, ok? Let your imagination run wild!

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  22. flav

    I also had a sexual relationship (oral sex) with my younger sister when I was 14 and she was 10. It was part of a game that we played together several times. Although it seems that both of us enjoyed it, I have felt guilty during my whole teenage years (I was scared of each car coming to our home, thinking it may be the police) until nowadays (I’m 29). We never talked about it, but I definitely would like to. So for me it was a pleasure moment followed by loads of remorse.

  23. Joe

    Any study of various animal group behaviors will indicate, as did exclusive breeding of specific “bloodlines.”
    The Christian belief of creation from Adam and Eve doesn’t leave us very much to interpret or question. However, the idea that Adam and Eve were the first man and woman, the fact that God put indemnity between them. Adam forced to till the earth, Eve to bear children, one could misunderstand that God wanted to punish them. Rather, the punishment was WORK! And not living in the paradise of the Garden of Eden.
    I like to put it in this context, as a child of the “cloth.” The Roman Catholic Church was notorious for separating children from parents at birth, or giving the wrong child to the wrong parent, or the parents wanted to arrange a marriage. Just imagine your parent’s lying to you. You fall in love with your “sister,” AND SHE’S NOT! Talk about psychological abuse!
    You make love, but you feel guilty because years after, you unjustly thought you committed incest. Then the community you live in shuns you, your “friends’,” abandon you, you literally want to die.
    You do find out that you are DISTANT COUSINS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER YOU WISH!
    If the state you live in will let second cousins marry, as does the Roman Catholic Church, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
    In Judiasm, there’s the story of Ruth and her father. Which kept the blood line of King David. It wasn’t uncommon for the daughter of the father to have her way with her father or brother. This behavior wasn’t entirely shunned, but when religion, holy text, or the “moral system,” based on the previously discussed religions’ holy texts has codified what sexual behavior is legal or illegal…..REFER TO ZOOLOGY AND THE BEHAVIORS’ OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.
    This “argument,” can lead to heated discussion questioning Monagomus Relationships’, or any ” regulation,” of sexual behaviors’.
    Also, sexual behavior between jueveniles’ 16 years and under, its exploratative nature should be consider part of the natural progression from adolescence, to early adulthood, etc…

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