If you want to know who is gay and who isn’t, just go to the gay community and ask them! They typically do not lie about such things, and they will often put you in touch with people who have had sex with them, especially the males!
Lindsay Graham: Well, of course she is gay. In fact, her Tea Party opponent is presently gay-baiting her in the primary. Sleazy, but she deserves it. In 2008, Graham got a 0% rating from the Human Rights Campaign (I am on their mailing list by the way). Time to out these closeted, self-hating, queeny old Southern gentleman!
Mitch McConnell: Senator from Kentucky. Although it is indeed 100% true that Mitch was thrown out of the US military for gay sex, until recently that is all we had. Her closest friends have apparently known that she is gay for many years. She was spotted in Thailand as a sugar daddy for a Thai transsexual. On the other hand, she has a wife and three children, but so did Larry Craig. I think there is a pretty good case for this one, but we need some more evidence. Get cracking boys!
Barbara Mikulski: More or less liberal Democratic Senator from Maryland. I have generally liked her, but I never knew she was a lesbian. Apparently it’s very well known! You learn something new every day.
Herbert Kohl: Former Democratic Senator from Wisconsin, is apparently gay beyond a reasonable doubt. He’s also no longer a Senator. Never heard of that one.
Mark Kirk: Republican Senator from Illinois. Apparently this one is for real. Never heard of that one either.
Roberto Arango: Former Republican Senator from Puerto Rico. Resigned when she was caught posting pictures of herself on a gay cruising site.
David Drier: Former Republican representative from California. Well-known long-standing case. Her aide, who is also her boyfriend, lives with her and goes on trips with her everywhere Drier goes.
Ed Schock: Former Republican representative from Virginia. Apparently this one is for real, but I never heard of it. Resigned when she was caught leaving messages on a gay dating hotline.
Aaron Schock: Republican representative from Illinois. Apparently a good solid case has been made. She even brings her boyfriends to fundraisers and has been spotted in gay bars in both Chicago and DC. People who went to high school with her said she wasn’t fooling anyone even back then. Aaron’s lover is her campaign manager, who is a married gay or bisexual man who lives in Peoria and works as a carpenter.
Patrick McHenry: Republican Representative from North Carolina. Longstanding rumors about this gal, and there definitely seems to be something to it. Recently spotted in a bar in Hickory, North Carolina, drunk and kissing a man. Consider yourself outed, bitch!
Robert Aderholt: Republican representative from Alabama. Locals on the political scene in Alabama have insisted that she is gay for a long time now. I think they are correct.
Trent Franks: Republican representative from Arizona. She was driven out of the Arizona legislature due to her obsessive and aggressive sexual behavior towards the young men who were working there. Now she is in Congress, no doubt doing the same thing.
John Barasso: Republican Senator from Wyoming. She has been outed by a gay investigative reporter who has not been wrong yet. Looks like a good one! Has a known lover, and it’s long been known in Wyoming politics that she is gay. Lives in Caspar, Wyoming, where it has long been known that she is gay. She has taken many gay lovers over the years, always handsome young men. She took many trips during this time, always bringing her boy toys with her. She recently married, a beard apparently.
Dana Rohrabacher: Republican Representative from California. A psychologist I knew was friends with the Rohrabachers and said that Dana “didn’t like women.” She also often brought women to functions who were just friends and not girlfriends, more or less beards. The gays say she is a closeted gay, and they tend to be right about these things, so let’s go with that for now.
Rick Perry: Strong evidence that the Republican Texas governor is apparently a strong bisexual with strong drives for both males and females. A number of men have come forward and said they had sex with Tricky Ricky.
Charlie Christ: Former Republican, now Democratic, governor of Florida. Her former boyfriend has even gone public. Just before she got elected governor, she married a beautiful woman. In interviews, her wife has hinted that she is definitely gay.
Linda Lingle: Republican governor from Hawaii. She’s a lesbian? New to me. It’s apparently true! She lives in a condo in Hawaii Kai with her female lover.
Karl Rove: Famous Republican strategist during the Bush Administration. Still active behind the scenes in Republican Party politics. A former high ranking Republican official, a female attorney from Alabama named Jill Simpson, has come forward claiming that Turdblossom is in fact bisexual.
His latest lover is the president of a conservative bloggers group, the National Bloggers Council, an Arab named Ali Akbar. Akbar has convictions for credit card theft, theft and burglary. Soon after the news broke, Rove engaged in a quickie marriage in Austin, Texas, to Karen Johnson, apparently to deflect the bisexual rumors. There are rumors that Karen Johnson is a lesbian, but they seem to be based on her appearance. On the contrary, she seems to be ravenously heterosexual, and has been linked to numerous men down through the years.
During the first months of the bush Administration, Rove was seen at several gay nightclubs in DC. There are reportedly photos available that show Rove “doing more than dancing.” He is also said to have cheated on her wife, Darby Hickson of Mobile, Alabama. Whether he cheated with men or women is not known. According to Simpson, the rumors of Rove’s bisexuality are long-standing. PS. Rove seems to be bisexual rather than gay. He has an appetite for the ladies too.
George Stephanopolis: Famous Democratic Party strategist. Difficult case. He was spotted several times in DC’s gay neighborhood “J-town,” but that doesn’t mean much. Maybe he was shopping? I used to hang out in West Hollywood quite a bit myself. He was also seen with a man said to be his former boyfriend, and George was acting quite smitten with him. Hillary Clinton threw a temper tantrum when George’s book came out, calling him, “That damned queen!” A man who knows him well outed him a few years back and pegged his gym trainer as his lover. He recently married at age 40. Difficult case, but very interesting.
Henry Cuellar: Democratic Senator from Texas. Longstanding rumors but no evidence yet.
Orrin Hatch: Republican Senator from Utah. Now that’s a new one! I would certainly like to see some good evidence for that one. As it stands now, no good evidence. Unproven.
Paul Ryan: Republican Senator from Wisconsin. This one is very bizarre, but there doesn’t seem to be any good evidence to back it up. Nevertheless, some talking heads on MSNBC seemed to be hinting in that direction. No good evidence yet, but do keep digging, boys!
Susan Collins: Republican Senator from Maine? Show me the evidence first. There has long been a rumor that she is a lesbian, but there does not seem to be much evidence to back it up. What is bizarre though is that when asked if she is a lesbian or not, she refuses to answer the question (will neither confirm nor deny). That is generally a sure sign of a closet case. All you straights out there, if someone asked you if you were gay, would you say, “I will not answer that question.”? WTH. No way. Any straight person would just deny it. However, at age 59, she recently got engaged to an older man for the first time in her life, complicating the question.
Chuck Schumer and wife: Democratic Senator from New York. Supposedly Schumer is gay and his wife is a lesbian! WTH? This one suffers from a profound lack of evidence.
Richard Lugar: Former Republican Senator from Indiana. Said to be a bathroom cruiser a la Larry Craig. You’re kidding! Suffers from a lack of good evidence.
Eric Cantor: Very powerful Senator from Virginia. WTH. There doesn’t seem to be anything to this one at all, and it seems to be based on the idea that he is somewhat feminine and soft-spoken. I think this is just yet another case of, “He’s not gay, he’s just Jewish!” Has a wife and three kids.
Jan Brewer: Republican governor of Arizona. Never heard that one before. No good evidence for this one.
Adam Kinzinger: There are also many rumors about this Republican Representative from Illinois. This one is apparently not true, and it was only started because he is good buddies with Aaron Schock. Kinzinger appears to be straight. In fact, he is apparently maniacally heterosexual.
John Kitzhaber: Former Democratic governor of Oregon. He had a prominent girlfriend recently. He married her right before he took office, and then he divorced her as soon as he got out, which is weird. This one suffers from a severe lack of evidence.
Maria Cantwell: Liberal Democrat from Washington. Boss and campaign manager Ron Dotzauer was a prominent former boyfriend, and she broke up Ron’s marriage to his wife Angela. This one seems to be not even true at all.
Marcus Bachmann: Republican husband of Michelle Bachmann, Republican Representative from Minnesota. Psychologist, one of his specialties is Christian conversation for gay teens. He is a very effeminate man, but that means nothing. Apparently an effeminate straight man.