Daily Archives: November 2, 2012

The “Whatever” Song

The greatest Zen “Whatever!” song ever written. The best version was by Doris Day in an early movie.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother what will I be
Will I be handsome will I be rich
I tell them tenderly

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be
Que Sera Sera

I’ve been hearing for a lot of my life:

“You seem like you don’t care.”

“You seem like you don’t give a damn.”

“You’re lackadaisical.”

“You walk too slow!”

“Even when you’re working hard, it doesn’t look like it. You need to look like you’re working hard!”

“You remind of guys in my high school who were always the last ones in every group, always trailing behind.”

“You have a ‘kick back’ attitude!”

I heard most of the BS when I was a young man, usually by bosses. I heard some shit like this, then they fired my ass. They often said I was lazy. I’m not lazy. I work, but I’m a human. I work at a normal human pace, like a human being should.” I’m not a horse or other kind of an animal, and I don’t work like one. If you don’t like it, well, fuck off.

I had a job about 24 years ago. They said that there was only one person in the building of ~50 people who was doing the work and more accurately than I was. But I was working at the same pace as I have my whole life.

I simply don’t like to work for other human beings. Me and bosses are like oil and water. We just don’t mix. I finally figured this out, and now I’m a lot more peaceful about things.

The attitude that all these Type A weenies complained about all my life is simply the one exemplified in this song. Sure, I had my worries and my ups and downs. Even with an anxiety disorder, this song is always playing in the back of my head, trying to balance out all the weird worries. It’s a counterforce you throw out there to attack all the worrying and negative bullshit in your head.

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be

I used to have this friend named TR. One day he was over at my place in the morning. My roommate was asleep, I was getting ready to go to work for the swing shift. It was ten in the morning.

The bong was going back and forth, and I showed him my latest collection of the legal drug industry’s  finest, lifted straight from a pharmacy. My friend worked there as a clerk, and he regularly ripped off the best drugs and sold them to me. I then resold them on the street. Chloral hydrate, Talwin, Valium, Codeine. We even got pharmaceutical Merck cocaine, 93% pure.

I was a popular guy. The Valium ran out of stock as soon as it came in. It was popular with even the squarest of middle class real estate broker types in the suburbs. Everyone harassed white collar type wanted those slow blue cruisers.

That morning I was dressed in a man’s Japanese kimono over pants and a shirt. A lot of people hated it and said it was faggoty, but it was fun to wear mostly just to piss people off and get reactions. In Japan, it’s totally normal for a guy to wear a short kimono. It’s not faggoty.

We were talking about his wife.

“Ahhh, she’s a prude, dammit!” he cursed. That means not enough sex. Hard for a 28 year old guy.

I looked down at the ground. It was so sad, there was nothing left to say. Sometimes all you can do is look at the ground sadly.

A while later, TR said, “You know what? Sometimes I want to get away from all the bullshit, from everyone. From my wife, my work, my friends, the whole world. I always wanted to get a cabin up in the mountains in Colorado, go live there all alone, and just say fuck you to the whole world.”

This guy was one of the biggest extroverts I ever knew, but I got it. The monastic life always has a strange pull to it. A lot of us want to be Thomas Merton, climb seven stories up a mountain, and just meditate until we die.

Fuck the world! FTW!

We started talking about some difficult stuff. Some of TR’s friends were mad at me. They were criticizing me. It was hard to take. It was hurting my feelings to hear this stuff.

TR was sympathetic.

He smiled softly and looked over at me.

“It’s all bullshit anyway,” he said. He was singing Doris Day’s song in his head.

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
What will be will be

“What’s all bullshit?” I asked quizzically.

The smile got a lot wider. Now it was near as big as the damn room.

“Everything,” he said. “Everything.”

“Everything’s bullshit?” I asked dumbfoundedly. Surely some things must matter here and there, no? What of a world where nothing matters, a Doris Day world?

“Yep.” He was still grinning. “Everything’s bullshit. Everything.”

We both broke into uproarious laughter. Soon the bong was traveling back and forth.

“What’s bullshit?”

“Everything! Everything!”

Damn right. Meditate on that, motherfuckers.


Filed under Music, Philosophy

Jews Don’t Care Either

The finest of the Jews don’t really give a damn either. Not even the Yiddish speakers. Sure, they cared to some extent while they were getting Holocausted and whatnot. I mean they were trying to save their asses and not get murdered, so you have to care somewhat if those are your goals.

But even nowadays, the best of the Yiddish speakers, when they are not thinking about the bad old days of the Shoah, selling sick porn to the Gentiles, running the banks, monopolizing the fur, gem and retail trade industries, brainwashing us deviously through the media, encouraging Black and White miscegenation, sucking on mohels or just generally encouraging the downfall of the Christian West while safely ensconced in fancy digs on the Upper East Side or the Hollywood Hills, they can relax pretty well.

They pour another glass of grape wine while this song plays in the background and dream of unattainable shiksas from high school.

The best Jews don’t give a flying fuck either. They just seem like they do. It’s just another Jew trick, sillies.


Filed under Europeans, Jews, Music, Race/Ethnicity

Good Music for Your Chinese Zen Meditation

Just play in the background and put it on endless repeat.

It’s the Chinese way of saying, “Whatever!”

As for me, instead of saying, “Whatever!” I usually say, “I think I’ll have another beer!”

1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Music