What Androgyny Is And What It Is Not

As a straight guy who has spent a good part of his life being accused of being gay, I know a lot about this subject. I never understood where this is coming from, but when it all boils down, I must be an androgynous fellow. A lot of gay men call themselves androgynous, and people think androgynous means gay. I think that’s ridiculous.

A truly androgynous man, the sort of man that I am, should ideally have very strong components that are both masculine and feminine. For instance, the masculine part of me is very strong. I feel that part of me is as masculine as any man who has ever walked the face of the Earth. Most guys figure this out about me somehow, and more or less give me the benefit of the doubt and accept me as a man even if they can’t totally figure me out.

For some reason, women are so retarded that I’m not sure if they’ve ever been able to see this side of me. This includes girlfriends that have known me for a very long time. What this means to me is that only men understand masculinity. Men understand masculinity because it’s what we are all about.

Women have a very stupid and lame idea of what masculinity is – that is, they really don’t understand what it’s all about. Women’s view of masculinity must just be a caricature of what masculinity is. Sure, they can see it where it’s obvious, but apparently they can’t see it where it’s not obvious.

Anyway, if you have a part of you that’s as masculine as any man who’s ever walked the face of the Earth, then surely you’re a masculine guy. If you have a feminine part going on too, it doesn’t cancel out the masculine part. They both exist in tandem. Women don’t seem to get this, apparently because they’re retarded.

So, yes, there is a feminine side of me. I’m not sure if I like it or not. Maybe I do. Anyway, it’s a part of me, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to make it go away. I notice that when I’m alone and very relaxed, it comes out a lot more. I probably try to tone it down when I’m out, because it confuses people and gives them wrong and stupid ideas.

A girlfriend once told me, “You’re too sexy to be straight! Women look at you and they think, this guy’s way too sexy. He couldn’t possibly be straight!” This is probably one of the only women who has ever understood me, other than my Mom. That makes two.

The gay view of androgyny is the mainstream view. So those genderqueer characters – the lesbians who are so dyked out that they’re male for all intents and purposes, the Australian male model who looks like a woman, are said to be androgynous. But that’s complete crap. The ultra-dyke is 100% masculine, 0% feminine. The Australian male model is 100% feminine, 0% masculine. Too what degree is this androgyny?

Androgyny is when both masculine and feminine parts exist in the same individual. The stronger those parts are and the more they are in equilibrium with each other, the more androgynous the person is. The most androgynous man would have strong masculine and feminine characteristics. My model for the ultimate androgynous man was always the rock stars of the 1970’s, especially Mick Jagger, the New York Dolls, Steve Tyler, etc. There’s this extreme masculine element in them, but then there’s that other thing, too.


Filed under Gender Studies, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Man World, Music, Rock, Sex

44 responses to “What Androgyny Is And What It Is Not

  1. dano bivins

    Oh man…laffin…stand by for the shitstorm from the retards!
    LMAO. You’re a hoot.

  2. P-I-C-S

    You have a deep voice. Are you sure you’re androgynous? Pics!!!

  3. Daniel

    Mick Jagger is total pussy hound. Steve Tyler is pathetic.

    Androgynous questions=: what is the fem analogy to scratching one’s balls in public?

  4. dano bivins

    I imagine it’s all relative really. The measure of how masculine a male is depends on whether he keeps company with Marine Force Recon Sub Unit one members–or guys in an office in New York City.
    Whether you hang with roofers/oil rig workers, or starbuck’s barista’s.
    Whether you pal around with Aryan nations members at the Wagon Wheel bar, or chartered public accountants who dream of changing professions and being a lion tamer.

  5. marco

    I agree with your post regarding the androgynous man. I too feel that women are fucking morons regarding their ability [or
    lack thereof] to perceive & understand masculinity. Also queers have truly “poisoned the well” so to speak, regarding any sort of genuinely intelligent rational discourse on the subject of male androgyny – because queers are all too happy to buy into mainstream stereotypes & distortions of androgyny & are too stupid & myopically self – centered [ just like feminists!!] to have a clue or to give a shit that their exibitionistic embracing of stereotypes perpetuates mainstream assumptions & ignorance regarding the androgynous heterosexual man. I live in San Francisco so perhaps my viewpoint is heavily influenced by my experiences in S.F.

  6. Pingback: Love and the Androgynous Man « Women in Contemporary Relationships

  7. Adam Brunswick-Stokes

    does anyone notice men of different ethnicities act differently– in my opnion celtic men (men of western european descent | irish, english, scotish, north spanish, french, some czech, some poles etc) are super, super expressive and even look more feminine as opposed to the other white majority in the US, the germanics, hispanics…im a super masculine gay man and my mom is czech but my dad is german..i feel like my masulinity is the german side but my expressiveness and homosexuality comes from my mom side (she had a gay uncle) she is straight of course tho….i also feel like when the celtic blood entered the black community (ie. irish ppl mixed heavily with blacks when they first arrive in us, especially in the deep south) so it created many men with a strong gay propensity however in a community that is very homophobic thus creating a sub-culture of being on the DL and the black community being famed with this certain phenomenon and black women always talking amongst themselves about men who are “suspect” which is a very strong theme in movies with all-black cast as leads (ie. beauty shop, boys in the hood, for colored girls etc) this is just part of my theories, im thinking of creating a blogspot in the near future…the psycho-social and anthropological dynamics are very evident once they are unearthed and verbalised…just my two cents #JMTC….also in places like berlin more gay men are tops as opposed to a gay US city like LA where bottoms are 99 percent of the gay men….this is all very true once u really think about it…the most annoying “fem” gay men are always irish, scottish, french (no offense its just an observation, i like “celtic” descended people and have nothing against them) even if u go way back the “celts” were very gender-reversed, their women were warriors and they even have women in the highest position, only england allows a queen to rule with out a king other countries with remaining monarchies have the law written that only males can recieve the throne and no queen will rule with out a king…the two longest running english monarchs have been women–elizabeth 1 and elizabeth 2. think about it, this all makes a lot of sense….the way we act is a direct result of genes we inherit, POINT.BLANK. theres a reason for everything, ya just gotta look in the right places for the answer.

    • Nordic

      What the fuck are you talking about? You clearly have never been to western europe, know what counties are IN western Europe or know ANYTHING about celtic history and culture

    • I understand exactly what you are talking about. And I find your musings very experimental and deeply analytical on a cultural,historical and philosophical level. Forget the fool who says you know not of what you speak.

  8. Bhabiji

    A girlfriend once told me, “You’re too sexy to be straight! Women look at you and they think, this guy’s way too sexy. He couldn’t possibly be straight!”

    Bobby Ji, I can’t see this. Can you post some pics of yourself at the time she said this? Give us, your loyal readers and commenters, a chance to rate you on the 1-10 scale?

    • It’s not the way I look; it’s the way I act.

      • Bhabiji

        How do you act?

      • Emil Atik

        Yes, it is for sure that the look also matter the way you are into regard genders.But that could be exceptations to the homosexual men, they can surely be both of them, masculine and feminine. Without its ridiculous and weird. I hope you get it, otherwise you say heterosexual men becoming more femininie than lesbians and masculine gays, and that’s absolutely weird and it also dosen’t make any sense, however we also have that meterosexuality that ruin all the “real man look” What a pity:-)

  9. Robin

    I agree with your premise, except that word ‘retarded,’ ought to be replaced. As someone who works with those with a developmental disability
    I can assure you the word, in the context you describe, is extremely hurtful and inflammatory. Surely the feminine element of your psyche can recognize that words can hurt, and I urge to to call up that empathy and compassionate part of you. Replace the word.

    • honyok

      actually Robin retarded people are so retarded that they are not even aware that the word retard is inflammatory or degrading. I think we should stop this political correctness crap and go back to the days when we called Gay people Faggots and Queers &.Lesbians – were called carpetmuchers and leg Lickers and bull dikes. REALLY ALL THESE SO CALLED GAY PEOPLE ARE REALLY JUST PERVERTS. Nature did not intend for species of the same sex to be attracted to one another. How can they reproduce? As far as special needs people – go back to the basics
      Idiots, retards or retardos, maniacs, morons. Just tell it and call it like it is.
      that works for me. I am a retard and I like being called one.

      • Fly By Night

        @EM Well yes for the most part for most people – they are trying to be verbally nice – I notice younger people are more apt not to use the negative terms.
        I mean its not perfect but it is better. Also Realize one thing about me EM
        sometimes I just throw things out there to get a rise out of people.
        That is being a troll. However due to one of your recent post directed towards me I promise to clean my act up. I have a question …How did you know I was a married man?

    • I agree with Robin here. I echo this post, except for the r-word. I am autistic, so I take disability rights seriously. Besides, people don’t sound very intelligent themselves when they use words of such low vocabulary.

  10. I love what this srticle says and i agree most women sre stupid…

    • Thanks for your feedback my dear!

      • honyok

        I dated this chick or er uh dude once – and this person had a combination of male and female sex organs. So when we finally got down to business I was rather confused and politely asked – well which one of these do I do? and the person said “take your pick” and just go for it.
        That is one night I will never forget.

      • honyok

        Hey Roberto
        Back in my old poontangin days I took this chick home who was ugly as homemade sin. I mean she was a 5 star dog. BUT she had a killer body complete with a perfect ass and a huge set of knockers. WOW
        Her pimply face, cross eyed, and buck teeth were so bad my Big Johnson just could not stay hard.
        Being the resourceful person I am I had her hold an old playboy centerfold of Miss July over here face while I poured the meat to her. IT WORKED !!
        In fact at the time I exclaimed “Hey this is great, its kinda like jacking off with real pussy” Who wouldve thought right?
        Nothing succeeds like success. She was a good sport about it too.
        I am sharing this experience with you just in case you or others find yourself in the same circumstances you will know what to do.
        I mean UGLY Chicks need love too…… so make it happen

        • Sure, why not?


        • honyok

          @ Robert

          I tried that first but my patriotism was not erotic enough to generate the ole libido.
          “Miss July made it happen” (several times)

        • honyok


          I can also quote scripture…
          Those of you who are without sin may he or she cast the first stone….

        • honyok

          You say “You think it is hate that makes you strong”

          I beg your pardon – I dont believe I said anything about hate in my posting. I mean me and the young lady both enjoyed ourselves. Actually she thanked me for my ingenuity. Where you get hate out of that I have no clue. I was hoping that you gals would really give me hell over it though.

        • honyok

          I can tell you are a very charming and witty lady.
          You have shown us that you can indeed be funny without being crude. I apologize if my recent post have insulted you and I will refrain from doing this sort of thing in the future. I guess I was having fun at the expense of others. Which is not nice. but you know how we Trolls are. I mean it this time.

        • Fly By Night

          Talking about androygenous people – back in the day I used to frequent this topless bar that was known for its drop dead gorgeous beautiful women. The owner was also known for his perverted sick sense of humor. I made the mistake of going in there one night and forgot that it was April fool’s day. I no sooner got set down when this gorgeous blonde plops down on my lap. I thinking OH YEAH – What a Doll
          Then she speaks in a very deep voice that would make Barry White sound like a Soprano “Whats your name honey”? There was also a visually disturbing bulge enlarging occurring below (his or her) waist in the pelvic area. (I have promised to clean my act up so I am trying hard not to be too graphic or crude) The bar owner and his cronies were laughing their asses off at my expense. – I will return with more tales from the underbelly of humanity. My friends tell me I should do a book.

  11. jameson7

    I think our whole ideas of gender are pretty stereotyped period. I think all of the hard intellectual cultures are going to have some androgynous aspects as either masculinity or femininity taken to the extreme is not conductive to refinement.

    Are their really people that are completely incapable of having a feminine side? Even if they were raised by women and a feminist dad or something? I find it difficult to believe. If you increase your testosterone by bodybuilding or some sort of competitive sport there is no way you won’t become more masculine.

    American male culture in particular is itself obsessed with a caricature of masculinity and males often identify with masculinity over everything else. Why would woman have a different idea of what male masculinity is?

    You have with Blacks a culture that never valued intelligence compared to masculinity(intellectualism isn’t useful with Lions) and the result is selectivity towards very masculine men and women….yet they don’t have any less homosexuality to show for it. How much of the link between male femininity and homosexuality is in fact psychological?

    “This is probably one of the only women who have ever understood me, other than my Mom. ”
    You mention your mom quite a bit Robert. You know who else has a close attachment to their mothers? Jewish men…..and they aren’t exactly known for being archetypes of masculinity.

  12. Fly By Night

    Reblogged this on Fly by Night.

  13. thnxx for writing this article.i actually feel a sigh of relief on hearing this.i m 18 yr old guy who loved to have his masculine body.i love to have hair on my chest and would lyk them to grow more but over the last one yr i had felt conscious of feminine side in me .like sometimes my expressions were feminine while talking and sometimes i have felt like a girl.sometimes i have experimented with walking lyk a girl but i have never done this in public.i would be embarassed about myself to do so.this week i had thought of committing suicide just bcoz i read one article and felt i was transgender.i feared i might turn into women and it was better for me to die than to be women or inbetween.please guide me more on androgyny.

    • now im feeling relieved that there are people lyk us who have mix of feminine and masculine emotions and would still love to be in a sex assigned to them at birth.please rreply

  14. Lyds

    Maybe this post is forgotten (no replies), but anyway I just wanted to add – tq for writing this, in name of us ‘androgynes’. As an androgynous woman, with a mostly male brain, I wish I could meet more of my male counterpart!! Guys that have both sides, are not embarrassed by them, and are attracted to women (because until now, all I found were gay T_T)

  15. Pete

    It’s always difficult to study gender and sexuality. Many people feel that androgyny exists mostly in women since it’s easier for them to pull off the sort of look. And the female gender and sexuality is often fluid, very independent of each other. But many believe that the male gender and sexuality is not and often closely associated with one another. Feminized brain structures in men are thought to be indicative of homosexuality. But believe it or not some traits like empathy and compassion in males are thought to suggest some feminized traits. But I think bc of the culture and everything androgyny in males is more discreet. Maybe the so called metrosexual men are androgynous but I do agree about sexual orientation. People think men are either gay or straight and those who claim to be bisexual are just in the closet. But that’s not the case. It all seems to be the result of testosterone during fetal development…men are more sensitive to it so it has a profound effect on behaviour but maybe slightly less that doesn’t affect sexual orientation could actually be more attractive to females. Yes females crave masculinity and the masculine guys are likely to be more sexually experienced but when it comes down to it an androgynous male could make a good partner and parent. Ideally it’s good to have the best of both traits that can be seen beyond physical appearance like personality traits (conscientiousness, openness, extraversiok) and even masculinized traits are thought to affect intelligence so it all works out

    • Actually, the most notorious players that I ever knew, guys that seemed like they were trying to break Wilt Chamberlain’s record, were at least somewhat androgynous. Some of them were frequently accused of being gay. Women like androgynous guys! A lot of them LOVE androgynous guys!

  16. Ricco

    Really, This whole article is absurd. I feel as if when reading this i got the gist you are not to fond of you’re feminine qualities aka Androgyny. A true androgynous male is not ashamed or hesitant in presenting themselves in a feminine way because they have completely confidence in their sexuality. I am a true androgynous male. I am a model who does favor the look of Australian Models but i assure you my girlfriend finds my Androgyny quite attractive. In retro just come to terms with who you are and finally accept the fact that their is nothing wrong with being gat. If some says hey i though you were gay, i say nope but i take it as a compliment that you did so. I mean lets not look at gay statistics that show the groups overwhelming amount of success and overall happiness in life. I mean damn, I’m not gay but i sure wanna know what all the fuss is about. I’m learning not to think so much about sexuality and just live by the erection in my pants. If it makes my cock jump I’m obviously turned on. And the women are retarded reference makes me question your love for women… every man knows thats a no no.

    • Gays do not have overwhelming success. They live 20 years less than straights. Gays do not have extremely happy lives. They are much unhappier than straights. The fuss is nothing but pro-gay propaganda.

      Male androgyny does not man a man acting feminine. It just means strong masculine and feminine traits going both at the same time (pure androgyny).

      All right idiot, I am banning your ass. Back to the Outback with you!


  17. Phillip

    Thank you so much for sharing such an informative article.

    I am a gay man and have recently being wearing female clothes and make up.
    Although I’m enjoying it, and enjoying the experience of being with another man dressed in lady’s clothes, I have also been feeling very confused.

    Am I androgynous, am I a cross dresser?
    Am I both?

    Reading your article has helped me understand myself. And I’m embracing every aspect of myself. I’m very grateful that I’ve come across article.
    Thank you 🙂

    Sincerely, Phillip.

    • I am not sure if you are an androgyne or not! To me, the ultimate male androgyne has a very strong male aspect and also, well, something else. I am thinking Mick Jagger, the New York Dolls, David Johansen, T Rex, Mott the Hoople, Queen, Steve Tyler, Iggy Pop, etc.

      Other than your physical body, how do you feel? Divide it into masculine and feminine. 50% feminine? 100% feminine.

      It would hard to be a pure androgyne and wear women’s clothes, although the Dolls used to dress up like chicks a lot. They were still androgynes because they had an extremely masculine side even while dressing up like that.

      I am very glad that you are happy.

  18. Pingback: Literature Review about Androgyny | culcbagnoj

  19. TurnTables

    Not all women are retarded

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