As a straight guy who has spent a good part of his life being accused of being gay, I know a lot about this subject. I never understood where this is coming from, but when it all boils down, I must be an androgynous fellow. A lot of gay men call themselves androgynous, and people think androgynous means gay. I think that’s ridiculous.
A truly androgynous man, the sort of man that I am, should ideally have very strong components that are both masculine and feminine. For instance, the masculine part of me is very strong. I feel that part of me is as masculine as any man who has ever walked the face of the Earth. Most guys figure this out about me somehow, and more or less give me the benefit of the doubt and accept me as a man even if they can’t totally figure me out.
For some reason, women are not able to see this side of me. This includes girlfriends that have known me for a very long time. What this means to me is that only men understand masculinity. Men understand masculinity because it’s what we are all about.
Women have a limited and incorrect idea of what masculinity is. They just don’t get it. Women’s view of masculinity must just be a caricature of what masculinity is. Sure, they can see it where it’s obvious, but apparently they can’t see it where it’s not obvious.
Anyway, if you have a part of you that’s as masculine as any man who’s ever walked the face of the Earth, then surely you’re a masculine guy. If you have a feminine part going on too, it doesn’t cancel out the masculine part. They both exist in tandem. Women don’t seem to get this either for some odd reason.
So, yes, there is a feminine side of me. I’m not sure if I like it or not. Maybe I do. Anyway, it’s a part of me, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to make it go away. I notice that when I’m alone and very relaxed, it comes out a lot more. I probably try to tone it down when I’m out, because it confuses people and gives them wrong and stupid ideas.
A girlfriend once told me, “You’re too sexy to be straight! Women look at you and they think, this guy’s way too sexy. He couldn’t possibly be straight!” This is probably one of the only women who has ever understood me, other than my Mom. That makes two.
The gay view of androgyny is the mainstream view. So those genderqueer characters – the lesbians who are so dyked out that they’re male for all intents and purposes, the Australian male model who looks like a woman, are said to be androgynous. But that’s not correct. The ultra-dyke is 100% masculine, 0% feminine. The Australian male model is 100% feminine, 0% masculine. To what degree is this androgyny?
Androgyny is when both masculine and feminine parts exist in the same individual. The stronger those parts are and the more they are in equilibrium with each other, the more androgynous the person is.
The most androgynous man would have strong masculine and feminine characteristics. My model for the ultimate androgynous man was always the rock stars of the 1970’s, especially Mick Jagger, the New York Dolls, Steve Tyler, etc. There’s this extreme masculine element in them, but then there’s that other thing, too.