It’s actually quite simple – so simple that there is nothing to it. I can always, or almost always, tell if a man is gay or bisexual. It’s as clear as air. Obviously, some men are very effeminate, so that’s suspicious. Yet there are many effeminate straight men out there – I’ve met them.
One surefire way I can always tell if a man is gay or bi is how he acts when he’s around me. Gay and bi men always, or almost always, give off a sexual vibe when they are around me, like they are sexually attracted to me. If I’ve spent quite a lot of time around a guy and never got that vibe, I generally say he’s not gay or bi. I haven’t been wrong yet.
This is really the most obvious thing on Earth, so you would think that stupid men would figure this out. Yet I’ve had male friends who knew me for years, through countless girlfriends and dates the size of parade, guys who I spent a very long time with, even took long overnight trips with. Of course I never gave off any gay vibes towards these guys because I don’t play that way. Even after knowing me for over a decade, I had very good friends insist that they always thought I was gay.
As I said, gay and bi men give off vibes. A man who has a lot of girlfriends and dates is almost certainly not gay. That’s really dubious. And if you’re around a guy a lot, you can tell if he likes women or not.
There’s an old friend of mine named DN. Everyone always called him gay because he’s pretty, sensitive and soft. But I spent a lot of time with him, and I knew he liked women as much as any man who ever lived.
You can tell when a guy likes women. It’s so obvious that I don’t understand why it’s controversial. When there are pretty women around, they look. They talk about women. Their eyes light up when they see women or talk about women.
I used to live and work in Hollywood, and I hung out in Hollywood for years. Hollywood has more gay and bi men than there are blades of grass in field. It’s an exaggeration to say I’ve met 100,000 gay and bi men, but that’s what it seems like. There are said to be gay men who try to fake people into thinking they like women. I’ve never met a gay man yet who fooled me into thinking he liked women. They must be exceedingly rare.
I always knew that DN had a gay side, but he never acted on it. I could tell when we were changing to go in the pool. He said some funny things. Gay men were constantly hitting on him, and people were always saying he was gay. We used to talk about this stuff.
He always said, “I’m not into that stuff.”
I would say, “Yeah, me either. Screw that.”
The pool incidents showed that DN had a bi side of him in that he had some attraction to males, but he didn’t feel like acting on it. Meanwhile, DN was screwing a small army of women. That guy got more women that most guys will in 20 lifetimes.
Later on, he moved in as a roommate with a gay man in West Hollywood. He lost his job, and the queer said either give it up or I throw your ass on the street, the way they always do.
One time I went up to LA, and DN and I went out on the town in Hollywood, trying to pick up model and actress types. You know how that goes. I ended up on the couch. I woke up at 3 AM, and my best friend was in there screwing the queer!
I was like, “Whoa!”
I got up in the morning, and DN was defiant. I lost a contact lens, and they both made a big game of finding it, putting their queery hands all over me.
I decided he was still my friend, which was a bad idea. He went off into queerdom bigtime. I’m sure he still likes women, as that will never go away. Last I heard he was living with a woman in Santa Barbara.
What’s odd is that of many people who’ve known DN, they don’t give him credit at all. According to them, he was a fag in 6th grade (we all used to kick his ass for being such a pussy), and he’s a fag now. That small army of women? They look at me dumbfounded when I bring it up, like it’s completely irrelevant. I tell them that he’s always had an extreme attraction to women, and they look at me like I’m speaking Greek.
“He’s a fag, dammit,” they insist.
Fag fag fag fag fag fag fag fag. Once a fag, always a fag. That’s their mindset.
Truth is, the guy is very much bisexual, probably one of the most fully bisexual guys I’ve ever known, but no one can wrap their idiot head around that.
Just as it’s clear as air when a man is gay (or bi), as a man who’s attracted to other males is a dead giveaway, it’s also clear as day if a man is straight (or bi) – that is, if he’s attracted to women. Gay men don’t look at women. Period. I had a gay boss once, and he treated the women like they were part of the furniture. They weren’t even there. I’ve never in my life seen a gay man check out women like straight men do. If a guy obviously checks out women a lot and seems very interested in women, he can’t possibly be gay.
As my mother noted, “It doesn’t matter if the guy is 13 or 93, if a beautiful woman walks into the room, they all perk up and look at her, and their eyes light up. Gay men don’t do that.”
How can you tell if a man is into other guys? He acts like he’s attracted to you, if you’re a man.
How can you tell if a man is into women? He checks out women, looks at women, talks about women, etc.
How can you tell if a man is bisexual? This is very hard to determine and is further complicated by the fact that there all sorts of different types of bisexual men. If you spent a lot of time around the guy though, you might be able to figure it out.
From a woman’s point of view, the one thing that is not clear is a bisexual man.
A woman can tell very simply if a man is attracted to women or not, and many women have figured this out about me, which shows women are not completely retarded. If a guy checks out chicks, he’s into women. 100% fact. No two ways about it. On the other hand, it’s hard for a woman to figure out if a guy is into guys or not.
So all a woman can tell for sure about a man is:
+gay = never looks at females
+straight or bisexual = obviously looks at females
For a woman, a man who’s attracted to you or to women in general (he looks at women) is straight or bi. A man who’s not (he doesn’t look at women) is gay. Simple.
The reason this is limited is because it’s hard for a female to figure out if a guy’s into guys or not.
A man can easily make the following determinations about another man:
+ straight = not obviously attracted to you
+ bisexual or gay = obviously, clearly and shamelessly attracted to you
A man who is attracted to you is bi or gay. A guy who’s not is in most cases straight. Very simple.
The reason this is limited is because it’s hard to figure out if a guy is into women or not, although if you spend a lot of time around him, this should become quite clear.
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