The Myth of Male Heterosexual HIV

Update: The comments section on this article is now closed. Continue your comments at the new thread.

We have a reactionary commenter in the comments section who is posting the usual scare stuff about the risks of males in the US getting HIV from a woman. In truth, the risks are very low. To the extent that they exist at all, they exist in the form of regular sex with a woman who has HIV. I mean regular sex. Like hundreds of times, preferably over years. That’s how a male gets HIV from a woman in the US.

Your chances rise slightly with every encounter with an HIV positive partner, so if you are having sex 100’s of times with an HIV positive woman, you risk starts going up. Your risk from a one time or casual encounter with even a known HIV positive female is nearly zero. Your risk from a woman with unknown status is even lower.

These folks like our commenter like to go on an on about how condoms don’t prevent HIV. Well, technically it is true. There were some studies in which serodisocordant couples (one had HIV, the other did not) were followed for ~5 years. Some used condoms all the time, others sometimes, others never. There was significant risk to the females in the never use category, some risk to the females in the occasional category, and low risk to the females in the always category.

There was no risk to the males who used condoms. Of the males who never used condoms with their HIV positive partners, only 20% were HIV positive after 5 years and 100’s of sex acts. You can see right there how hard it is for a guy to get HIV from a woman in the US.

If condoms were such a big risk to women nevertheless, we would expect to see some women in porn getting HIV from men using condoms. Not one case has yet been reported.

If HIV is such a risk to men from having sex with women, we should be seeing some infections in porn. Not one man has caught HIV from a woman in porn yet, even though for decades, most scenes did not use condoms and to this day, many still do not.

It’s so hard to get HIV from a woman in the US that most guys should not waste time worrying about it. If you regularly have sex with women who shoot dope, you have more to worry about. If you have a regular partner, you might want her to get tested if you don’t know her status, as regular sex with an HIV positive woman over 100’s of acts is somewhat risky.

It’s always nice to know people’s status. I know mine. It’s negative. I’ve been tested. A few times.

Males get HIV infection in three ways.

  1. Gay sex. Usually receptive anal sex. Other acts and positions are much less risky.
  2. Sharing needles with illegal drug users. Don’t do it.
  3. Heterosexual sex. The number of cases is so small that I would almost say don’t worry about it, but not quite.

All these Black and Hispanic guys with HIV who are giving it to women in their communities are getting it by gay sex and sharing needles. With the Black guys, there is a lot of down low gay sex and some needle sharing. With the Hispanic guys, it’s almost all needle sharing.

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771 Comments

Filed under Americas, Blacks, Health, Heterosexuality, Hispanics, Homosexuality, Illness, North America, Public Health, Race/Ethnicity, Regional, Sex, Social Problems, Sociology, USA

771 responses to “The Myth of Male Heterosexual HIV

  1. Mort Goldman

    The alarmism about heterosexual HIV in general is yet another example of how the bad ideas of the PC left and the religious right come together. The PC left wanted the public at large to believe that “anybody could get AIDS” because they wanted the mainstream to care about it, and guessed (probably rightly) that no one would care if it were seen as a disease of gays, drug abusers, and blacks.

    The right… I don’t know how it served their agenda to suggest–as so many did–that it could be caught from toilet seats, mosquitoes, etc. Most rightists openly or secretly viewed it as a judgment of God upon people they disliked. It seems to me that they would be undermining their own position by going on to suggest that innocent White Christian Americans could catch it by not carefully spreading strips of toilet paper on the toilet seat. The illogic makes my head hurt, but what I see going on is a conflict between their impulse toward cruel judgmentalism and their love of scaring themselves and others silly. But ask yourself: if someone revealed that he had AIDS, but that he’d gotten it from a mosquito bite, do you think these religious rightists would buy it? I’m guessing not.

    • The Right loves it because they are sexual reactionaries who want to scare straights into either celibacy or marriage, along the lines with the religious right. But it’s not just the religious right who feels this way. The secular right does too. They’re all sexually conservative or reactionary. That’s an essential part of conservatism.

      • coward

        What exactlyare the reasons why conservatives try to sexually restrain us? How exactly does this benefit them?

        • Thirdeye

          Dictating the intimate details of people’s lives trains them to accept totalitarianism. Hysteria arising from sexual repression makes people easier to manipulate.

      • Tim

        ROBERT LINDSAY ” The Right loves it because they are sexual reactionaries who want to scare straights into either celibacy or marriage, along the lines with the religious right.”

        Yes Sir! My Reaction, is to hide my 9yr Son, every time the Priest comes knocking for donations, for a new church roof (Legal Defense Fund).

        To all, Save the Children! Hide the Boys!

        Tim.

    • Bud Frank

      Oops, it was supposed to look like this:

      “The alarmism about heterosexual HIV in general is yet another example of how the bad ideas of the PC left and the religious right come together. ”

      We in America get the best of both worlds, don’t we?

  2. Ó Dochartaigh

    I have always been terrified of getting AIDS, I was actually just tested recently. I turned down so many girls in high school because they seemed too skanky. I’m 23 now and tend to just fuck first and ask questions later. The christian right has given me a relentless fear of sex, (Appalachian upbringing I guess) it is a shame really, because sex is just too much fun. I like these numbers Robert, but what are your sources?

    • I’ve been studying this stuff hardcore for 28 years now. That particular study I read in a medical research library at St. Agnes Hospital, Fresno, in the early 1990’s. I think it’s a pretty famous study.

      I remember when I first read about AIDS in February 1982 in Beverly Hills. They were calling it GRID back then, and they did not have a clue what it was all about. They thought it had something to do with sex. The doc quoted said, “You hate to tell these guys to quit having sex and be celibate…” All cases were highly promiscuous young gay males.

      That same month in LA I say a gay man walking through an alley late at night and he looked like death warmed over, like pics from those Confederate concentration camps. The epidemic was just beginning, and we didn’t even know it at the time.

  3. Ó Dochartaigh

    Also, why do gays get Aids more than Heterosexuals?

    • Dave Coe

      Anal Sex.

      • Juliette

        Ok first off ANYONE can get AIDS. It is the type of sexual act you are engaged in that matters, as well as the frequency. Unprotected anal sex (whether done by two males, or a man and woman) has the highest risk of contraction. Gay males may be over-represented in the HIV positive category because they may think that since they cannot get pregnant, they do not need to use condoms. It is first and foremost the failure of the education system and parents who have not taught our youth proper sex education (presumably because they do not have all the right facts either). Sexual intercourse is only slightly less risky without a condom, but that is only because the elasticity of the vaginal wall is greater than that of the anal wall. The chances of contracting HIV through needle use is even lower because of blood pressure, which tends to flow out not in, yet the risk is still there. Fondling of the genitals by use of hands and not sanitizing is also risky because you are mixing the bodily fluids. Oral sex can also be risky if condoms or dams are not used, but this risk is low unless the giver has open wounds on their hands or mouth. Planned parent hood has a ton of information about sexually transmitted infections and info about sexuality in general. So no, these men are not having “gay sex” and spreading it to women. They are just not being careful enough, or respectful enough to take acre of their’s and others’ sexual health.

        • Juliette

          also to add, the current demographic who are contracting HIV and other STI’s at the highest rate are elderly people in nursing homes. Why? Because, again, since their female reproductive days are long over, they do not feel the need wear protection.

        • Jessie

          Ive known this for years after I got freaked out after I had sex without a condom. I looked in medical books and studies and discovered the risk of a straight man, like myself getting HIV was about 1 in 5 million per each act. It takes 1,000 contacts on average for a man to acquire HIV from an HIV + woman. So thats a thousand times and only if you are unlucky enough to find an HIV + woman. Now what % of woman who dont do injectable drugs have HIV? Not many, 1 in 5,000, converge the two numbers and you arrive at 1 chance in 5 million per act and thats unprotected sex…So go have that one night stand and dont worry about getting HIV. The car ride home is far more dangerous for a straight man..Now if she is sharing needles or banging gay men every night then your risk goes way up but it is still pretty small…Ive a lot of buddies through who were scared they had HIV, I gave em these odds and it helped relax them. BTW, that was years ago and they are all doing fine, no HIV. I also took an HIV class for Healthcare Professionals years ago for my job, and the class said nothing of straight men having an extremely small chance of getting HIV. I even confronted the teacher, she didnt even know or understand the information. I got one of the test questions wrong because I answered it the truly correct way, not there version of nonsense.

        • Right on brother! Spread the news!

  4. Dustan Howell

    The DL theory is a farce. The majority of black women get infected through IV drug use or sex with an IV drug user. Stop stigmatizing black men!

  5. Rafa

    I’m a child of the 80s. I moved to the U.S. in 1981…right about the same time when AIDS was becoming a hot topic in news programs. When I was a kid in elementary and middle school all throughout the 80s, we were bombarded with the Just Say No! campaign. Coming from a community in South Texas that’s always been over 90% Hispanic, it seems that all the posters and billboards back then stressed a rejection of drug use. I don’t remember much anti-sex campaigns, because quite frankly, HIV cases here have been quite low in number. Even ONE HIV case is one too many.

    By the time I became sexually active in the mid 90s, there was always that fear of AIDS that was drilled into our heads by the national media. So, obviously, most of the time I did use a condom. But, because of those few times that I didn’t, I went ahead and got my first HIV test, just to be on the safe side. I still remember to this day the interview I had with the guy from the health clinic who took my blood sample. First he asked, “Are you gay or bisexual…have you had sex with another male?” I said, “No.” Then, he asked, “Do you do drugs…do you inject any substance with a syringe?” I said, “No.” Then, came the most comforting words a heterosexual guy could ever hear. My interviewer then said…”You’re low risk.”

  6. jint

    Interesting article. I believe most authorities simply add unprotected heterosexual transmission as a high-risk factor only to be on the conservative “safe-side” of things. As authoritative figures, government organizations have to lean on the side of caution due to the many liability issues that could result. The CDC said the risk is 1 in 2000 for female to male transmission. That is sex once a day for 5 and a half years and still maybe not catching it. Also, the CDC being a government body, is being conservative even with that figure. The risk is real, but grossly inflated. The risk of being killed by lightning is somewhere along the lines of 1 in 1,500. Your risk is higher to die in a car crash today than it is to catch HIV from any single heterosexual event. In fact, many experts won’t even recommend testing even if the unprotected exposure was to a prostitute.

    still wrap it up

  7. Texas pete

    Ive had one encounter with a female(status unknown)one time nd I got tested two months after nd it was neg. But what im tripping off is why do I feel the chills(inside) but its been going on since dec. January nd its now augustbut I havent been having any of the symptoms that they post that I should nd is it that im thinking bout too much? My question is should I be worried bout having it? Plz respond im scared I dnt want it

  8. Ishmael

    I know that gays have a higher chance of AIDs, but why? In particular, why is the bunghole the problem?

    I never understood why.

    • Perhaps something to do with the higher chances of ‘tears’, leading to transmission of fluids. The human anus wasn’t really designed to accomodate a penis.

      • Jason C

        Never before was it so clear to me the reason that “tears” as in torn material and “tears” that fall from your eyes are spelled the same, as they both can result from the human anus’s penile inability

    • Jason

      It’s because cells in the anal cavity highly express the receptors HIV uses to bind to the host cells…”stickier” place for virus leads to increased chance of transmission

    • Nightowl2548

      They go both ways, only the receiver is at high risk of catching it, but the giver has probably also been receiving and that receiver will go on to be the giver in a future encounter and pass it on. They don’t go on “dates” as monogamous couples and wonder whether or not they are going to get laid. They go to bathhouses and sex clubs like that “Cockpit” in the Al Pachino movie “Cruising” where they have anonymous encounters with people initiated by simply winking across a room. Often they will start out the evening “receiving” from some dude, and then once all hot and ready from taking it up the behind they will find some other dude who takes them up the behind. The typical homosexual man racks up so many sex partners to boggle the mind of even the most promiscuous heterosexual “player.” This is simply because there is no neurotic, prudish woman in the mix to say “no” even after jumping through all the hurdles of wining and dining them. Don’t ever let any lying feminist tell you that “women want it just as bad as men” “there’s no difference between the sexes” because it just ain’t so.

      • Pacino angered gays with that film but it was a fairly accurate depiction of homosexual life in the city: there were not ONE but SEVERAL serial rapist homosexuals on the loose.

        Lesbians generally are monogamous. Or semi-monogamous. Their behavior is similar to male-female couples.

  9. Kohlj

    I had a few sexual encounters with former heroin (who’s HIV status is unknown) 6 months ago, and for the past month I’ve been stressing out. I used condoms for all sexual encounters, except for recieveing oral sex from her. I’m a completely straight non drug using male, I’m going for my first HIV test on Wednesday. Should I be stressing out?
    Thanks,
    Kohl

  10. Daniel

    You’re totally wrong . Prostitution is a crime in many countries. Most of men who use prostitution in such countries do not say the truth about their HIV infection.
    Gays have no reason to ie about HIV , just in countries where homosexuality is illegal. But in most countries in europe and everywhere prostitution is a stigma and many people hate prostitution.
    Prostitutions face violence and prison in many countries and also in the U.S. Prostitution is bad.

    Many gays use condoms . Not every bisexuel has sex without condom. Heterosexuals also ate monkeys . Therefore hetrosexuals were also infected with HIV and spread it beacuse te most men who use prostitutions
    are sraight beacause there is not many bisexuals nad if a bisexual infected a woman the straight people spread it beacuse straight people mostly use prostitutions without condom.

    It is not the fault of bisexuals it is the fault of straight people who always want sex with prostitutes and have analsex , too. Analsex is not ahomosexual practise . Many heterosexuals favor analsex.

    Many who use prostitutions lie about their HIV infection beacuse they can’t say the truth in countries where prostitution is illegal and punishable.
    So straight people then dsay that they had bisexualsex or homosexualsex . Because it’s shocking for them that you really can get HIV as a heterosexualman.
    Many do not believe in existence of HIV or say HIV is a gay desease. Most men who use prostitutions are straight and HIV+ .Many Prostitutions are HIV+

    http://greece.greekreporter.com/2012/04/30/three-more-hiv-infected-prostitutes-found-in-athens-by-keelpno/

    Heterosexual people spread HIV trough sextourism . Many lder men in the UK have said that they had sex with prostitutions without condom in Asia and now
    they got HIV . Ask the U.K. ! There is not so many gays to spread HIV to so many straight people and also not so much bisexuals and not all have sex without condom. It is known
    that the most STRAIGHT people hate condoms . The most gay men use condoms and favor oralsex . And analsex is a heterosexual practise .It always was read history.

    • Nightowl2548

      Whoa! Wait a minute, I’d say you’ve got it ass backwards. No heterosexual man is going to lie and say he got it by going gay! More likely a gay is going to lie and say he got it from a female prostitute to save face. Otherwise he’s admitting he had a dick up his ass, one of the most shameful things any man who values his manhood could possibly admit to. There is a reason there are still vast numbers of gay dudes in the closet. When people find out someone is gay in their minds eye they immediately imagine that dude taking it up the ass and that provokes a visceral emotional reaction that forever colors their opinion of that individual.

  11. Matthew Bruce

    I am a 24 year old hetrolsexual male from UK. On July 21st 2012 I had unprotected vaginal sex with a prostitute in Singapore (From Thailand). FIVE weeks after possible exposure I got a full STD check, bloods were negative but she did pass gonorrhoea to me. The NHS GUM Clinic told me to get re-tested at 12 weeks. I’m am scared to the point of panic attacks. I have almost convinced myself I shall have HIV…

    • I do not think you have HIV, but obviously you have gonorrhea.

      • ColinNY

        I had unprotected sex with a white escort in Philadelphia. I drank so much I don’t remember much except that the condom didn’t fit and she said, do it anyway. I immediately got on a zpak. Will this “kill” any on the bacterial stds? Should I get aids tested?

      • Daniel

        LOL! You in the U.S. have not the expreience with prostitution like we do in the EU !!! More than hundred prositutions were tested HIV positive in Poland. In Germany more and more prostitutions report HIV infection or were identifyed to trnsamit HIV although they knew about their HIV status , in Vietnam most prostitutes have HIV and in Greece 10 prostitutes were tested and officials found out the prostitutions got HIV and infected other men . In St.Louis (Yes. we’re now in the U.S.) a prostitute infected many men with HIV knowingly(all in the news) Mathew don’t believe you have no risk . The liberal is trying to legalize Prostitution as a good think. The right does not want it because of traditional reasons. All try to win support and both are not right. I know many men who have barebacksex with prostitutes here in Germany and all got HIV . Barebacksex between heterosexuals is called AO-Sex in Germany . Many heterosexuals do that . Many do not even test , many do not bielieve that HIV exists and have sex with 50-60 woman every month . In the U.K. heterosexuals have the highest HIV rate ever trough sextourism in Asia, Gambia where also older women have unprotected sex with africans and call-boys. In Austria heterosexuals have more HIV than homosexuals and in switzerland , too.
        Many people say that they had gay sex but they had sex with a prostitute or do not want to realize that also heterosexual people get HIV, also liberals. why they say they had homosexual sex? Because in many countries in Europe homosexuality was never aproblem especially in scandinavia etc. but prostitution is illegal . Men who have sex with prostitutes can’t tell the truth about the way how they got really infected , so they say to hurt homosexual sex because it is not bad to be gay in such countries , it was always normal but prostitution always bad .
        Also in Africa, prostitution is not allowed but many do can’t say that their homosexual for excuse!!! Because homosexuality is not legal in many african countries, So heterosexuals are forced to say the truth about thier real rway they got HIV . But truth is also homosexuals are not allowed and homosexuality is illegal in africa so that is why also many gays can’t say the truth about how they got HIV infected . They have to say they had heterosexual sex. Both are lyin .

      • Anuj

        Hi
        I’m from India
        And I had a sex with a sex worker on 7 October and my condoms slipped into her vaginal and act was for 5-7 mind
        And got checked for hiv in 6 days
        Now I have itching over body and few cough and here in India we are having extreme heat so do you think I am infected or not

  12. David G

    As a straight male who contracted HIV from a female I find Robert Lindsay to be a bit off base, the real risk factor is in how much viral load you partner has at the time of intercourse and what condition your immune system is in, so doing blow all night with a hooker who happens to have a viral load count of 300,000 puts one at a way higher risk than your normal one night stand. HIV can also ride along with other diseases like Chlamydia, gonorrhea etc etc so do yourself a favor always wear a rubber

    HIV is a mysterious disease I was unknowingly infected at least 2 years when I met my wife and we had unprotected sex at least 200 times before I found out my status and she never got HIV. I have never been sick in years, but when my T cell count fell to 350 I started Meds I started Meds my Viral load is now undetectable and T cells are 675 so HIV can be controlled, so if you unfortunately get this disease don’t jump out a window quite yet.

    aug 2012
    “more than a quarter of new HIV cases each year are heterosexuals, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.” there are also an estimated 140,000 heterosexual couples in which one person is infected with the AIDS virus.

  13. Rancho

    I had an sex with one prostitude and I made mistake of my life by having sex without condom and i ejacuted in her vegina, Now I am nervous If I can cath HIV. I don’t whether she is infected but I surely know she is having sex form more than 5 times from last 5 years. Is there any way I can ascertain that I am not infected befvore three months? What is the ideal time for geeting tested?

    • When did this happen? What country do you live in?

      • Rancho

        Hi Rob,

        This happened last Saturday (13th Oct). I am from India.Please let me know my chances of getting infected.I think I alreday had some infection for which I started taking antiboitics after consulting doctor.

        Mental tension is huge!!!

        • HIV is transmitted heterosexually in India. Nevertheless, it’s probably not real easy to get it from a woman. I don’t understand well how HIV is transmitted in India.

          Ask around and see how long you should wait before you get an HIV test.

        • Rancho

          Hi Rob,

          I got hold of the girl and HIV have been tested to negetive (Girl’s). But I presume she can still be in the window period. What are the odds of me not getting infected.

        • I would say that she doesn’t have it. The chances are overwhelming that you don’t have it.

  14. Ryan

    What about magic johnson and eazy e they got hiv from woman

  15. EB

    you cant compare a athlete and rapper, to the average joe, those dudes had 100s of women probably.
    Anyway Mr Lindsay, i got myself in a pickle, last weekend had sex with this chick for the first time, condom was on then came off, i turn the lights on blood all over the sheets and on my penis. IF she even has hiv does her bleeding boostt up my chances of getting it.? And how accurate are one month hiv test?

  16. bahar shah

    burg,
    i had a unprotected vaginal sex with high class russian prostitute in a middle east country 6 months ago and am really scared now to be tested. i never had any stds and completely healthy now.i want to know what is the risk?

    • Very low. You usually get sick after you get infected with HIV. Soon after, you get a sort of a flu reaction that lasts a little while. By six months along, you would no doubt be feeling something. Go get tested anyway, but the odds you got it are almost nil. It’s very hard to get it from a woman anyway.

  17. shyam

    i hv sex with prostitute 1 months ago.she put me condom as my penis was semi erect .it happened in south korea .i have vaginal sex.later i feel guilty .she went but i didnot see condom on penis and also i forgot to ask. i donot eseculate and my penis was dry too.now i m afraid of hiv.i went to hospital to test for std .doctor said fine,i cant ask any more bcz of communication problem.is there any chance of contacting hiv and std test include hiv too.and one more thing i didnot have any symptoms at all.plz help me…………..i m really scared.

  18. honyok

    Hey Bra
    I dont see comments being posted
    You did not ban me did you?

  19. everyone infected after hiv will hitted by flu like symptoms which is persistent for several days

  20. ryan

    robert i need your help! back in january 2011 i had unprotected first time se with a girlfriend who was long distance she lived in new jersey i lived in houston texas i stayed up there with her family for 4 days,we had sex for the first time sunday night around 10 or 11 if i remember correctly,she had just started her period so she had some blood,i pulled out and came on a towel,she claimed thats the first time she had sex without a condom and if i had an std she would kill me,well the next morning i was feeling sick,like ewww you know real weak achy her mom gave me some advil it helped,then the net day after i went home i was real sick i couldnt get out of bed i was so achy and weak,she was 22 and i was 29 reading these articles really has me scared please help.ryan

    • You might have gotten HIV, but I doubt it. Take the test to make sure. How have you been feeling in the meantime?

      • ryan

        fine so far,just those two days,i got sick in march fever sore throat a bacterial cold chest infection my doctor told me but that was this year in march.i just dont understand why i would be so sick afterwards i rarely get sick but new jersey is cold and i live in texas

  21. Kirk@aol.com

    HIV is pretty easy for a white male to get from a hooker…most white males do not publicize their illness as other groups do. I got it from a hooker. All it takes is for her to have some vaginois or other womens issue and it’s as easy to catch as anal at that point. White straight folks keep hiv to themselves 99.9% of the time

    • John jay

      No one publicizes it. Regardless of whether the individual publicizes it, it must be reported at time of diagnosis. And official statistics Suggest that only 10% of new cases are heterosexual males, and of those, only 10% are white heterosexual males. So in the US, only 500 new cases of white heterosexual males are diagnosed each year, or probably less than 1 in 100,000. It is certainly possible, but close to impossible for those white males practicing safe heterosexual sex, particularly if it is not anal.

  22. potatohead44

    If I have had unprotected sex (all pre ejaculation) with 5 white women (1 American, 4 Brits) how likely is an infection? From the previous comments I guess low but the anxiety is horrible. Are transmission rates in the US and UK similiar?

    • Virtually zero. But go get tested anyway. At least you can have a test in your hand to show new women.

      • Dumb mistake

        Robert. I am a 35 year old man from Canada. I made a bad choicewrnbnne 3 years ago while living in Ontario and got a girl from backpage.com while going through major relationship turmoil. As my luck would have it that day, the condom broke. And admittedly I felt the extra sensation while she was riding me but I did nothing about it for about 5 mins when she got off, it was ripped right down to the shaft. I never worried about it until now. Lately I been feeling real shitty. Dizzy, night sweats, mild headache, tired all the time. My cdc, ECG and urine all came back normal. I thought about that one time and panicked. I thank you for this thread as it has eased my mind a little and I regret the fact that my worries have stole my mood away while on vacation with my kids in disneyland. I’m going to get tested to put this to bed. Please indulge me a little. Is it reasonable to start feeling hiv shittyness after 3 years? Ps: I’ve since had unprotected sex with a few girls including my current monogamous relationship of 1 year.

        • I would think you would have had symptoms by now. Have you ever had an HIV test before?

        • Dumb mistake

          I had a negative test right before it happened. Since then I hadthis incident, and then a few unprotected flings. I like to fuck without a condom, but this has me really scared. So if I move beyond my current gf I need to learn to wrap it up. I also have hpv, no outbreak at the time to my recollection, and have just recently been educated on that topic. Thoughts? Thanks in advance.

        • Dumb mistake

          Also, and lastly, I keep reading (been trying to tell myself to stop reading) that symtoms usually dont appear for 10 years or more….. can you explain the contradiction?

        • I do not think you have it. Not many Western call-girls are positive, and even if they were, it would be hard to catch it from them anyway.

          HPV does not increase your chances of getting it. Why don’t you go get another test anyway? Personally, I get tested regularly if only to show the results to any new women who happen to wander into my life.

          While you are at it, get tested and then hopefully vaccinated against Hepatitis A and B. I just did.

        • That 10 years stuff is a bunch of bullshit. Most people get symptoms in the first 3 weeks. In the first ten years, you will have symptoms, but they might not be the symptoms of full-blown AIDS. However, some people get infected and are dead of AIDS very quickly, even within a year. You see this in the gay community quite a bit.

          After 10 years, you now have symptoms of full-blown AIDS. That is what it means.

        • Dumb mistake

          Ok well Ill take your educated word over my paranoia at this point. I will get tested again as the stress is doing a number on me and likely for nothing. I think I was tested and poked with hep vaccine last time i tested for hiv when I told her I had been to the carribean a few times. Thanks again. This thread really eased my anxiety….. and as I read in earlier posts, Im sure Ill move on to the next worry when this one is laid to rest.

        • There are two Hepatitis vaccines, A and B. You need to get both of them.

          Look at all the guys who have commented on this site. Many of them went and got HIV tests after I told them to. Note that not one single guy on this thread has come back with a positive HIV test!

        • Dumb mistake

          I did notice that. And I dont even bang sluts in the ass in bangkok, however I did bang one girl in the ass since that time. I was vaccinated with twinrix i believe, but ill make sure to find out for sure what they stuck me with. Funny how not until you start feeling unusually or virally ill does that shit seem important. Now its about the most important thing ever. Thanks. Ill be sure to post my result on here when its done.

        • Dumb mistake

          Well after a 2 hour wait in the clinic the lab closed. (Canadian healthcare) so I made it to the lab today for hiv and hep testing. Have to wait a week for the results. The anxiety is really building up. I can’t wait until I don’t have to worry about this anymore.

  23. ryan

    robery so what do you think? after i had sex with my ex girlfriend who was on her period and i got sick,do you think i got hiv?

  24. john

    ok a friend of mine had sex with a hooker in thailand. according to him, she seemed clean, no obvious marks on body or anything to suggest any form of illness. sex lasted about 30 min. both came – so vaginal fluids present. after 2 weeks exactly to the day, he got sick, flu like symptoms, first day high fever, second day still some fever and headache, runny nose, sneezing, 3rd day just coughing not fever but diahorrea (afrter taking several medicines) , 4th day fever and headache and coughing. – does it sound possible that he could have caught it ? 100% hetero and no anal sex involved. or is this more likely to be a common flu ?

  25. jason

    Thanks to Robert for trying to clarify a myth.

    People are too paranoid about HIV or Sex with a prostitute(just use a condom)…..If you want to believe it’s a very possible reality, then you can catch it from anyone. Who’s to say that your gf/wife or bf/hubby don’t have it. Are you going to ask her/him to take a TEST before you guys start having sex? People can have shaky past (parties, trips, cheating, whatever).

    Should we WORRY about it? No, these things happen in the moment anyways because you body needs to fuck and your brain cannot stop you (hello!!! we’re not robots). I’m sure no one intentionally want to get HIV. If you happen to get HIV unintentionally, it’s just fate. The same fate can be said about you getting into a car accident and die.

    It’s more about being positive in life about all things. If you’re a negative person, then so the fuck what if you get tested free of HIV. You’re probably very likely to worry about something else after a couple of hours and and still feel bad.

    Just enjoy sex, however you get it. It’s a must do for a hollistic happy life.

  26. jack

    Hey, i am scottish and had sex with a Chinese girl on new years day who is studying over here , it was a one night stand and i was using protection but i think the condom snapped at the bottom near the end, i asked her after the sex about her sexual history and she said to me that she always uses protection and stuff and that her previous partner was also scottish, she seemed to be very healthy also, what are the chances i could have hiv? i know part of me is saying very little but i have such a fear of it that i get worried about having it 😦 i mean if she did have it i am sure she would of told me as who would risk getting a charge for manslaughter when paying £9000 a year to study abroad?

    • Not too many Chinese women have it. Most who do are either whores or drug addicts or sleep with drug addicts.

      You are very unlikely to have HIV, but you can go and get tested anyway if you are really worried.

      • Jack

        Thanks for the reply i was just worried because it snapped at the bottom. Do you know what i can do about this hiv anxiety i get struck with every-time i have sex? its pretty much ruining my sex life :/ im so glad i found this article man it has toned down my anxiety hugely man

  27. kandi

    The “anyone can get HIV” message is a complete farce.
    How do minority groups (homosexuals, IV drug users, commercial sex workers, and other people most likely to contract this disease) finance millions of dollars of research for drugs,trials, possible vaccine development , and health care programs? Well, they need help. In order to receive federal funds for
    these programs, they must make EVERYONE believe that HIV/AIDS could become THEIR personal problem, too. As if the disease can strike anyone, at anytime, without warning. The advocacy groups for this minority population have done a fabulous job of perpetuating the myth that HIV/AIDS is in EVERY church, school, and neighborhood in the USA, and that it is as easy to catch as a winter flu. It just isn’t true.
    HIV IS out there. It is a concern, and while not AT ALL common in completely heterosexual, NON-IV drug using people, it may be a good idea to test at least once, but the benefit is most likely limited to the tester’s own peace of mind.
    Interestingly, the people who are most likely to have themselves tested are also the people who are LEAST likely to be infected.
    This is because people who are knowledgeable about HIV are also knowledgeable about how the virus is spread. People who are concerned with knowing their status are also concerned with safe-guarding themselves. Once they receive a “negative” result, they (usually) take precautions to maintain it in the future. On the rare occasion one gets an HIV positive result, they are referred for treatment. Once treatment begins, the drugs reduce the risk of transmission to others as well.
    And let’s not FORGET-HIV isn’t all that easy to get, in the first place! Certain acts increace the risk, but due to the way fluids are exchanged during sex, heterosexual men are at a natural advantage for avoiding infection. Unless you have an open sore on your genitals (syphilis canker, herpes sore, raw membrane tissue, or inflammation in the urethra), vaginal secretions will not actually enter your body. Without an entrance point, it cannot enter your bloodstream, which it MUST do to cause infection.
    Oral sex isn’t a significant risk. Enzimes in saliva afford some protection, and even if you have a cut in your mouth (unless it is VERY fresh), blood cells create a “force field” of sorts, at that site, to keep out bacteria to assist in healing, and avoid a mulititude of infections.
    Even a cut on the hands or fingers (unless serious enough to be a source of SIGNIFICANTLY NOTICEABLE blood loss) isn’t usually a tremendous risk.
    I hope this comment helps to calm SOMEONE’S mind! While HIV is “out there”, it isn’t as likely as the propaganda would lead one to believe.

  28. The guy

    Hey rob I’ve been tripping out and been stressed about potentially having hiv her status is unknown and it was only one time but I understand that’s all it takes I’ve gotten tested 13 days after the incident and went on google and read that there was a 3 month waiting period the risky act happened towards the end if November and its January and I’m freaking out because I’m feeling fatigued I’m really scared and need some real statistics please help

    • Where are you located and what were the circumstances of your sexual act with this woman?

      • The guy

        I live in Pennsylvania and it was just one time vaginal I got tested at 2 1/2 weeks after exposure and to my horror I read there was a three month waiting period I’ve been an emotional wreck I’m not eating right I need sleep medication to sleep I wake up exhausted and I need answers there was a lot of vaginal fluid I do not know her status and when I ask her about it she stops talking to me which has me even more worried I did ejaculate in my pants after I pulled it out it was for like 1 minute but I was pushing hard and deep in her vagina so I am really freaking out

      • the guy

        thank you rob i’m going to get a rapid hiv test tomorrow i cannot sit around and wait for results i need to know now, thank you for the info

  29. jared

    How common is hiv in high school students? Particularly girls, and what are the risk factors of a straight white male getting hiv in his teenage years from a girl if he and she are both sexually active?

    • The risks are very low. However, there have been a few cases recently of young White women (18-23 or so) getting HIV and giving to their boyfriends.

      Just get tested, get her tested, and basically don’t worry about it.

      It is VERY HARD to catch HIV from a woman in the US.

    • Nightowl2548

      “How common is hiv in high school students?” Virtually ZERO except for the few boys who are adventurous enough to go out to the particularly creepy gay cruising spots and take it up the ass bareback from strangers. Dude, aids just ain’t out there amongst heterosexuals, the few man bites dog stories are the exception to prove the rule. Nanny state people, aids activists, bible thumpers have been LYING to you big time to further THEIR agenda. They knew all along the public wouldn’t give a damn about gays dying off unless they could scare them they’d share that fate and support all the spending it took to develop treatment for it. But as a matter of reality more high schoolers get aids on TV after school scare specials than in real life. Harry Highschool just ain’t gettin’ “the aids” from Sally Homecomming Queen, then passing it on to Nancy Drew who then gives it to Jack Armstrong the All American Boy through a bout of “Heavy Petting” without Dental Dams. That’s the fiction they want you to believe.

  30. Leo

    Dear Robert,
    I have recently made 2 terrible mistakes and the psychological consequences are literally killing me.
    I know there are a lot of people with real diseases out there and I apologise with the if my fear and anxiety can be considered as a stupid thing.

    Here the details:

    On the 3rd of November 2012 I had unprotected vaginal sex with a British white girl (30 years old) I met in a bar. She looked fine and when I started worrying she guaranteed me she was fine and reassured me.

    On 7th of December I did the same thing with a Lithuanian girl (21 years old).

    On 10 of December I did the first hiv test 4th generation (Negative).

    On 20th of December the Lithuanian girl and I did another Hiv test 4rth generation (both negative).

    I cannot calm down. It has been the worst Christmas ever.

    How accurate are these tests?

    What are the odds I got infected?

    What do you suggest me to do?

    Please answer.

    Regards

  31. Leo

    thank you very much for your answer. this fear is making me destroy my life….work, family and friends. Can t sleep and do things as I used to. Need to move on but the confusion about different type of test and window period is killing me psicologically. Thank you very much again. Ciao

  32. john

    Dear Robert,
    I had protected sex with prostitute in North Carolina (she was Korean) about 4 weeks ago – about 20 minutes of sex. As far I as I can tell, condom used properly and wasn’t defective (put my own on), did not break after took off. I did take off with same hand I used to masturbate. However, I came down with all the flu like symptoms very common with early HIV (and fit the 4 week window exactly) – chills, aches, sore throat, still swollen glands in neck after 1 plus week, white tongue. Went to family doc – not flu, mono, or strep. It seems unlikely that I could get hiv – but freaking out after researching on internet. Hoping its just a viral infection with a lot of people being sick in general. What do you think? Thanks.

    • I do not possibly see how you could get HIV from this incident, but go ahead and get tested anyway.

      • john

        Thank you for your reply. So scared to get tested for fear of positive test that I’m sick to my stomach and can’t really function. Don’t I have to wait until 3 month mark after possible infection to get fully tested? Thanks.

        • No, you don’t have to wait 3 months to get tested. You probably don’t even have HIV anyway, and I don’t see how you could have gotten it from this last encounter.

  33. Fred

    Met a girl at a club in Thailand and went back to her place…put on a condom and then she said she didn’t like them and pulled it off! Then she pulled me into her and I entered her extremely loose vagina one time. I pulled back in horror and felt vaginal fluid on my penis. No blood though. Pretty terrified now even though it was just one second…

    • When did this happen? Why don’t you go get an HIV test. I don’t think you were in her pussy long enough to catch HIV if you ask me.

      • Fred

        I hope you’re right. It was less than three weeks ago. Hasn’t been long enough yet to test, but I will go in as soon as possible. Can you clarify why it is easier to catch outside of the US/Western countries?

        • Nightowl2548

          It’s easier for NGOs and the aids racket to make up bogus statistics about places most of their audience is unlikely to go and check out for themselves.

      • Fred

        I’m back for a 2-month update. While I did experience some symptoms that were a little worrying (such as slight burning/itching in urethra), tests for all STDs came back negative. I consider the results conclusive.

  34. There are different HIV subtypes outside the US that transmit much easier via heterosexual sex.

  35. Aussie

    Hi Robert, I have been following your blog over the past few weeks and I like your upfront and to the point answers. Im a 27 year old male and I live in Australia which has a very low HIV/AIDS rate. Last week, I engaged in sexual intercourse with a female I had been seeing for a few months. The girl is a university educated nurse (her dad is a doctor in addition to this), she doesnt do drugs and never has, and from she tells me she hasnt slept around. While we were having sex, the condom broke and my penis was exposed to her vaginal fluids. Upon seeing this as soon as we finished, I took myself to the bathroom and washed my penis thoroughly. She has confirmed to me that she is STI free, but you can never be to sure. Given the fact that she is a nurse and that her dad is a doctor, I believe she is well educated about this and would be STI free. However, given my paranoia about this and the fear mongering in general about unprotected sex in the media, I have concerns that I may have caught something and my fears keep going to HIV. If my penis was only exposed to her vagina and vaginal fluids for a short period of time (approximately 30 seconds) what are my chances of contractiing HIV? From my research, only 2,300 women in Australia are known to have HIV out of an entire population of 22,000,000 people. Given this, I know my chances would be basically zero from the statistics, but at times I have bad ass luck. Any opinion you have would put my mind at ease alot.

  36. zac

    I’m talking maybe at most five time unprotected……all close friends advise ahe isn’t infe ted……bit u can never be sure

  37. zac

    to actually put my question right to the point……..I had a couple riaky exaposures in the past but since then I have had two children. by two different women both were relationships of one year and then one of two years……both women are nevative……..am I in the clear

    • I do not think you have it, but you can always get a test to get a baseline.

      First of all, hardly any White women have it anyway, especially one like this one.

      Second of all, even if they do, it’s quite hard to get it from them as long as you don’t do things like fuck her in the ass.

      • zac

        Ok thanl u for your thoughts……..I have even fucked mysons mother in the ass numerous times in the last two years….with ALOT of unprotected sex too many to even put a number on. it

  38. Joe

    Greetings Robert, the other night I got drunk and had unprotected sex multiple times with a white female for about 2-3 hours…In America. She said she has had approximately 15 partners in the past, and was recently tested for all std’s and was clean/negative. But who knows. If you were in my situation would you waste any time worrying about contracting hiv? I’ve been beating myself up for being such a fool!

    • Based on the sex act you had and the woman’s history, the odds are almost zero that you got it from her. It’s very hard to catch it from an American woman anyway. But you may as well go and get a test just to get a baseline.

  39. in fear

    hi robert,

    last July 2011 or Aug 2011 i had one time vaginal sex with a chinese prostitute here in Abu Dhabi heres the details;
    1. i tried to kiss her in the lips but she refused (this made me think later on why she refuse?). (also that time i had a bleeding gum, maybe due to gingivitis).
    2. before we start she massage me with a liquid like some oilmint in my groin, near my anus and in my penise and while doing this she was pressing her finger as is she was looling for something and i feel that she was also waiting for some reaction from me. then she told me that i am very stron (again this makes me think later on an got afraid that she was really looking for some one to inflect with)
    3.I asked her for an oral sex which she agreed provided i wear condom (whihc she her self bring and pun on me). For several minutes she was kissing and sucking my dick.
    4.She inserted my dick to her, she was on top of me them we change position, i made a doogie style (also vaginal). however, the condom slipped nearly exposing my shaft but i still continue inserting my penise to her until i cum (mayber three times insertion). I also sucked and bit a little her nipples.
    5. Then she remove the condom and checkit for some thing and then wipe my cum with the blanket.
    6.Then on Oct or Nov i had a fever, rashhes at both side of my body (itchy and flaky), sore troat and head ache and congeted nose due to a severe cold.
    7. Then last may or June 2012 I was searching something in the internet when i accidentaly click the HIV and i saw the symptoms which brings me to recall the symptoms i had last year and my fear started to grow every day until last July 2012 I asked help from my nurse friend here in abu dhabi to help me got HIV test and he referred me to his med tech friend working on one of the hsopital here in abu dhabi but the test was done discreetly as it was very hard to get an appointment here due to a very strict policy when it come to HIV and that time i feel i can no longer last for one day without knowing my status, so these med tech friend of my friend got some blood and have it tested and after 45 minutes of wiating thanks God according to them Im NEGATIVE, but i did not actually see any paper result as it was not done in accordance to procedure which made me doubted the result but my nurse friend told me that the test was actually done, and they will never lie or tell a story because its againts their profession. But still i am searching the internet and fear that i have it? Please, kindly tell me your opion on the sexual act we’ve done, How risky is my act of kissing her lips with a bleeding gum, sucking her nipples (i was thinking that its bleeding). Pleas help, my mind is always preoccupied with this thouths. By the way im aFilipino working in abu dhabi

    Thanks

    • Look you do not have HIV. None of the things you did can give it to you, and not only that but you tested HIV negative! Please stop worrying.

      • in fear

        Dear Mr. Robert,

        Thanks for the promp reply. Im going to try my best to foget this and moveon with my life in a simple and straight way. Thanks again for your opinion.

      • Hi Robert. Had sex with a sex worker over 6 weeks ago. Used protection and to the best of my knowledge the condom did not break. However, a couple weeks ago I developed a rash on the fold of my arm that looks much like the maculopapular rash. Could this be a symptom of a new infection???

  40. Icantstandthis

    I screwed up and had sex with a Canadian escort . The condom broke and we had sex for about 10 minutes. Just oral and vaginal intercourse. Its been 5 days and i feel anxious as hell. I feel like i have a fever but its only 5 days which as i understand is way to early to develop HIV flu, i guess its what my brain vs body game? Any comments???????????

    • It’s extremely difficult to get HIV from a woman in North America due to the HIV serotype here that is pretty much bloodborne. It more or less needs blood to blood contact. In general, men in the NA get it from an HIV positive regular female partner after several years of regular sex, saying after having sex with her maybe 500 times. Even after you have sex with an HIV positive woman in NA 500 times, you only maybe have a 20% chance of getting it. Anyway, most Canadian escorts are high class and do not even have HIV.

      Go ahead and get tested anyway, but I don’t think you have it. Few men in NA are getting HIV from sex with females.

  41. Mack

    can having sex for 10 mins maximum with a condom, with a Chinese woman of unknown status studying abroad be bad? i think the condom tore near the end at the bottom, i did not ejaculate though?

  42. I don't know what to do

    Hi Robert , I am from California straight male , I was wondering how hard is to get HIV here in CA , I’ve been having unprotected sex with friends know them all , I am 18 years old , I’ve been so confused last year , a family of mine was sick then she passed it to me and I was sick for a long long time , because I would drink and smoke , but the nasal congestion stayed , now I am thinking I probably have HIV , because it doesn’t go away then I stopped smoking and my breathing problems are feeling better , so I don’t know what it is , I am probably too scared the fact that HIV might be very common around here , please help

    • It’s not common at all. You can hardly get it from a female in California especially if she is White. But anal without condoms can give it to you. Why don’t you go get tested just to get a baseline? I seriously doubt if you have it.

      • I don't know what to do

        Thanks for your response Robert , I am not that sexually active I have only been with 19 girls and most of them were my girlfriends or friends , that I still know them , talk to them etc , I just turned 18 last year so I have done it with like four 18 year olds , and the rest were like on their 15’s 16’s as I was too back then , some of them are hispanic not drug addicts , school friends and church friends , actually one of the girls that I’ve been with is pregnant and is having twins , she had a blood test etc , which that one was the one I was more worry about since she seemed like a type of girl that goes around but turns out she’s lesbian and had only been with 4 guys I felt it too since her vagina was really close , the other girl asked me if I was clean before I had sex so I am pretty sure she was clean too and the last one is this girl from church we are really close to her , anyway I have been eating a lot and gaining weight just by thinking of HIV , I think my depression and stress is making me go crazy , really crazy , so I think I’m just going to test myself , I have no symptoms but breathing problems which I already had before because I was a bad smoker , but then I got sick by a family member and it got worst , but now that I am a free smoker I am feeling better so maybe I was wrong , all these symptoms google searchs I’ve done make me get confuse, Do you think I really need to take an HIV test ?

        Thanks for your help again Robert

  43. Hey Rob, I’ve been reading your article because of my HIV anxiety. 22 yr old male living 30min outside Atlanta. Had unprotected sex with this girl, both of us are white, on January 28th, seemed like a slut, because I was drinking heavily. I was in her probably for like 5-6 min when I was honestly too drunk to keep going on. I did ejaculate but I pulled out. I also had oral sex with her as well. The very next day I had some irritation in the back of my throat. Wasn’t until Feb. 6th that I woke up with a swollen lymph node on right side of neck and extremely painful sores on the back of my throat. Went to the doctor twice and said it was just pharyngitis. I found that hard to believe cause its just now going away TODAY. As far as I know it was just that sore throat, lymph node. I’m been very worried that I have HIV that its interfering with school and work. The doctor did test test me for mono, which came back neg, and said it was some sort of viral infection causing the symptoms, which HIV is a virus and put my anxiety to a whole new level. Thanks for all the help you’ve provided in your article.

    • It’s almost impossible to get HIV from a White woman of that age and background in the US with a single instance of sex, and few of them even have it anyway. Why don’t you go get tested now at 17 days just to clear your mind.

  44. Daniel

    Doctors do not know that heterosexuals have much more HIV because most heterosexuals do not get tested. In Germany more than 50 000 men have unprotected sex with prostitutes everyday it is called AO-Sex . They do not want to get tested because they fear the HIV+ Status because then they could not have unprotected sex with prostitutes anymore if they knew the HIV positive status. Also many of them do not believe in HIV . in many countries prostitution is illegal , also in EUROPE. But theer are thousands of men who have sex with prostitutes. Also in the U.S. prostitution is a stigma , many heterosexul men do not talk honestly about having sex with prostitutes unprotected. It is easy to say I had gay sex or bisexul sex because doctors and people think HIV/AIDS is mostly a gay/bisexual PROBLEM but exactly that makes it hard for heterosexuals when they got HIV diagnosed . They lie. ! I know one heterosexual who got HIV and he siad that he lied to the doctor about his hiv infection . He told the doctor that he had gay sex and is gay and that is how he got HIV infected. But truth still is he is heterosexual and had no sex with men . I was with him at a party with six prostitutes that most of the men enjoyed bare /unprotected.
    In Europe you only call it bareback in english speaking countries , in other countries you call it AO-Sex (if you’re heterosexual , cuz most of them are heterosexual , you can aks them and read their polls and look at thier bareback pictures with the prostitutes) and GAYS CALL IT BAREBACKSEX All people that do AO-Sex do not want public to know beacuse they fear forced HIV tests then. So that is why they do not call it bareback sex like gays do. In every country where homosexuls do have a hard LIFE nad there ‘s a lot of rumors about gays , AO Sex is popular . Many do it . In countries where homosexuals live accepted and there are no atmosphere of intolerance , people (heterosexuals) do not have a AO-Sex Scene. Not many do it there. So in countries where gays have it hard it is easier to say I am gay as heterosexual because people HIV in a connection with homosexuals there and not with heterosexuals . Heterosexuals are holly they would never have unprotected sex, One Nite Sands etc. heterosexuals are made to ake kids. that is why it is so hard for heterosexuals in such countries with much AO-Sex to say Yes now I have HIV and I am not gay I am heterosexual and YES I also like sex with many people. But many heterosexuals there fear that people will talk about the infection what’d they think if when a heterosexual got HIV and not a homosexual. I studyed AO-Sex a lot and YES I think in Africa gays are lying because they have to otherwise they’re gooing to go in jail. Homosexuality is illegal there. But In western countries like the U.S. , Europe etc. heterosexuals lie about their sex adventures because prostitution is illegal. AO-Sex is unknown for most people, it is easier to say I am gay and had MSM Sex instead of saying I am heterosexual and had unprotected sex with XXX .

    So I think there’s lot of gays HIV+ but also many heterosexuals and bisexuals … but gays are more open about sexuality and that is why it is easier for them to talk about sex than a heterosexual , especially because heterosexual men know the stigma that people will think you’re a big losser when you have unprotected sex with prostitutes or someone else . You’re a man , you should visit church, make a family, have a wife forever …but what’ll people think if you’re having sex all weel , and also unprotected etc… That is why I think so… Heterosexuals do have it much harder to talk about sex than gays…

  45. jay aka trey

    I had sex with 11 diffrint women in a year with no condoms I’m so scared I might have hiv but never Did anal just nasty to me now coupke months ago a male calles me and was like u don’t know me but U got the aids I was like what who is this the he calls bxk and said u got aids bro u was messin with the most nastyiest bitch in north Carolina go get tested dude freaked out i lost 20 pounds not eating right scared ass hell what u think i have it just be 100 percent with me thank u

    • You probably do not have it, but why don’t you go and get tested anyway?

      • jay aka trey

        Cause its killing me so bad I’m scared to even go see a docter i have 2 kids one was born this augest but Nothin doctors never said any thing about the blood work done on my kid or girl friend now I ask half of my inconters they all Say hell no I don’t have it now weight loss can that be a symptom of hiv and couple months ago I had a big boil looking thing on my leg can that be to thank u so muck jay

  46. jay aka trey

    Thanks Robert alot makes me feel better now that person that called I called back and they where like no nobody called u from this number then they where laughing now what i didnt tell u these 11 girls was 18 to 25 never older than that every girl looked healthy no signs of hiv I don’t feel sick no swollen lymnobes I have dierea some times but when i dont eat nothing but I time a day my last incounter was 7 months ago my girlfriend had a child bye me in augest they test every baby / mother for any deases she came out clean so woo relief I’m just asking what are my chances from vaginal intercourse no blood and did know any ones status sorry to bother u just need help thats all thanks Robert agian

  47. jay aka trey

    Thank u Robert I won’t get tested cause if I got It I just wanna die so fuck it I’ll leave it in gods hand thanks tho

    • Red

      do you worry at all that you’re spreading hiv?arent you worried you can spread it to your babies. Other or the next 11 girls?

  48. Jonathan

    I don’t know why I always think I have hiv even when I test negative. I have sex with one partner but in the last 3 weeks I had sex unprocted twice with 2 different women whom I know. One is my nephews long time young babysitter and a friend I know is negative. Why do I feel that we can randomly create hiv if we are both negative? Am I paranoid or am I screwed. I really like this article. The others I’ve read try to scare you into always wearing a condom or just not having sex at all.

    • You are suffering from some anxiety condition.

      • Brownguy0

        Robert,
        I had unprotected vaginal and oral sex, lasting a total of 30 min, with a Thai girl in Singapore last June. I met her at a club and took her back to my hotel. I performed and received oral and banged her hard for 15 min. A few days later I got a sore throat and general malaise. Doctor gave me 2 shots in the ass, some meds and some throat gargles. He thought it was oral gonorrhea (in fact he was very convinced he knew right away that’s what it was). Felt better a few days later. Almost 6 weeks after exposure I had full std tests and all came back negative. Nothing. Now, almost 8 months later, with no symptoms at all, I’m getting paranoid because my current partner is feeling unwell all the time.
        Please tell me I’m crazy.
        I live in California.

  49. JJ

    I had sex with an escort/call girl a week ago. I’m 25 and circumcised and live in Alberta Canada. She claimed she was only 20 and did look around that age range. She started off by giving bj with a condom on and then had intercourse. The condom ended up rolling off around halfway and i ended up finishing without a condom but I did not ejaculate inside her.. I was intoxicated and made a poor choice. It was the 2nd time in my life I didn’t I actually had intercourse without a condom. I don’t remember know how long I was having intercourse but I would say no longer then 30mins at least. She even asked me do you have any std and i said no. I asked her and she said she was tested a week ago and shes clean but I dont know what she was tested for. I have a history of anxiety so after a few days I started to worry and have probably looked up about HIV/AIDS on the internet then I have ever did in my life combined. I even contacted her a few times through text and worrying that I might of caught something and shes kinda annoyed and said trust me im clean and go get check anyways if you want to. I’m so worried and afraid to even go get checked and the thought of even having hiv is just horrifying. I read articles like this and feel good again but then I keep thinking about it too much and start to worry that I have it.

    • Go get tested anyway, but obviously you did not get HIV from this encounter. Canadian call girls hardly have it anyway, it’s quite hard to get it from a woman in North America, and she just got tested.

  50. Mr VP

    Hi Robert,

    I was away on holiday to Thailand where after getting very drunk I engaged in unprotected vaginal sex with a bar girl. We had sex three time and carried out oral sex on each other. Not once did I ejaculate inside her but I am extremely worried that I may have contracted a STI and worse still HIV.

    It has been 10 days since the encounter and have developed a white layer on my tongue however there is no discharge or pain whilst relieving myself.

    I am going crazy from the worry and would like some expert advice on the chances of contracting STIs/ HIV. What do you think I should do?

    This is the first time I have done anything like this before and feel really stupid as this is not something I make a habit in doing. It was a silly mistake and hope I don’t pay with my life.

    What do you think the chances are?

    • The white on the tongue is not a good sign. That could be oral thrush. It’s not likely you got it after only one encounter, but unfortunately, in Thailand, this is possible and it has occurred with Thai prostitutes. Wait another 20 days, and then get tested. If you get tested now, you only have a 40% chance of getting an accurate result.

      Please come back and tell us how the testing went. We are concerned about your case my friend.

      • Mr VP

        Now I am very concerned – do you think it is HIV?

        • It is possible that it is HIV, but it’s also quite possible that it is not. You really need to wait another 3 weeks and then get a test. Or if you have some money, you can get another type of test in only four days.

          Let us just wait and see about this, ok?

        • Macka

          I actually live in Thailand now, although I hear there is a strain here and it is easier to get I still don’t hear of many cases from women to western men, although I know it can happen and does, more so with local thai guys in thai brothels (often with both men and women).

          Surprisingly, I have heard that the HIV rate of bar girls servicing tourists and western guys is allot less than the ones who service local thai men. I’m pretty sure you’ll be ok, there are allot of STD’s here though which you need to be careful of, just go get tested.

          In saying all that, I had an encounter myself over the border in laos a few weeks ago and I had a tear on my penis from a rough handjob and then stupidly had sex with her bare back and although it was only for about 5 mins I’m sure it’s enough. I’m pretty paranoid myself and can’t stop googling for info to make myself feel better, I tend to spend more time on the sites that talk about low rates for males catching from females, that’s why I like this page 🙂

          I recommend you go for a test asap anyway then go back for a second one after, the 1st test will put your mind at ease.

  51. Mr VP

    I guess so – what other options do I have. Should i get the oral thrush treated? Maybe go and see a doctor? I can’t believe this – one night of stupidity!

  52. tcf13

    My boyfriend is from west africa…Ghana. He is there visiting. If he were to have sex with women unprotected while he is there what would be the chances of him getting hiv?

    • Possibly relatively high. You need to find out the HIV rate for Ghana. OTOH, we used to know a lot of people from Ghana and Nigeria, males and females, and I am not aware that any of them had HIV.

  53. Peter Pan

    I am man who like sex and had alot ladies over the years.i am now having the sore throat and white at back dry skin eta I has test before and neg I reading all your stories interesting . The only thing I did 3 month was to sux cox for the first time and we cum from it that why I am worried ? Theyaje it out to so easy to get and yes you have to be safe correct. Any like to here you answer

    • Hello there my friend! Unfortunately, you are in a part of the world where the HIV rate is very high!

      Nevertheless, let us get back to the sex you had. The only sex you had in the past 3 months was that for the first time, you had sex with another man. You both sucked each other’s cocks until you came. You are wondering whether you can get HIV from this. From him sucking your cock, no way, Jose. From you sucking his cock, even until he cums in your mouth and even if you swallow it, it is quite hard to get HIV this way. However, there have been a few cases here and there. In general, these men had some sort of serious allergies of some kind that had caused some sort of erosions in their throats and this is how they apparently got it. If you are going to do this again, don’t swallow. But better yet, don’t have sex with guys! Gay men have an extremely high HIV rate the world over.

  54. The venting guy.

    Hey Robert,

    Been reading your blog, its very very interesting. I really like how you approach the disease and the facts you use, I must say I agree on most of them.

    About a year ago I had sex with a prostitute, I live in Colombia, which after looking at the CIA World Factbook has a lower HIV prevalence rate than the US. The act itself was pretty normal, it took a while, about an hour or so, I never came but it was with a condom which never broke or anything. Even at some point it moved a little which was noticed right away and the condom was changed.

    After this encounter I’ve had sex with two girls, both pretty normal if you ask me, but both where without a condom. I haven’t got any flu-like symptoms, fever, or whatever but still this anxiety crap keeps getting the better of me and I keep worrying like hell. What I do think is that if you actually get a virus as strong and “deadly” as HIV it would be imposible not to have any symptoms and feel overall very healthy.

    Truth is im 25 years old and getting tested scares the hell out of me, I know both of this girls and keep in touch with them, so im pretty sure that if anything was wrong with them they would tell me. But still… I can’t help to think what if I would be possitive, what would this imply on my life. So many plans, dreams, things to do and such would go pretty much to the toilet.

    So im here just venting a bit, telling my story to whoever might relate to it and to ask you what I should do. Like I said, Getting tested really scares me because of the implications it would have on my life, I also think, which might be stupid but I still believe it, that we are very close to finding a cure. Maybe its wise to wait a bit, making sure that my next sexual acts are always with protection and when a cure comes out just get tested to be certain im clean.

    PS, All of the acts where heterosexual, I’ve never done anything ass related or homosexual related. I also read the circumsided men have a lower risk of getting std’s… is this true?

    Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate it!

    • We are not anywhere close to a cure at all for this blasted illness.

      There is absolutely zero percent chance that you got HIV from these encounters. Therefore, you may as well go and get tested just to clear your mind. You are worrying excessively and unnecessarily. Since your chances of acquiring HIV are so low, there is no reason to feel anxiety for getting tested.

  55. Leo

    Hi Robert,
    I d like to have your opinion about the HIV testing window period.
    there are different views in different countries and from doctor to doctor.
    CDC: 3-6 months
    new york gov: 3 months
    France: 6 weeks
    Italy, uk, switzerland, germany, belgium, austrslia: 3 months.
    specialists: from 4 weeks to a year.

    That s source of anxiety for a lot of people.

    after 2 risky episodes in UK (unprotected sex with2 girls met in a club) i was tested 127 days after the first encounter and 92 days after the second with 4 generation hiv test (duo). results: negative.

    Can you clarify your opinion on the window period please?
    Have you got any data?
    do any need to get tested at 6 months mark?

    thanks

    Leo

    • Theoretically you could have it, but realistically, you don’t have it. It’s very hard to catch it from a woman in the UK from regular heterosexual sex. And you are negative at 3 months, so basically, you don’t have it.

      Yes a few are negative at 3 months and turn positive at 6 months, and a very few don’t show positive until 1 year.

      Those were not high risk encounters. Those were low risk encounters. Straight unprotected regular sex with females is not high risk. Instead it is quite low risk.

      • Leo

        Hi Again,
        and thank you for your quick feedback.
        The window period topic is really killing me psychologically.
        here some links:
        France – http://www.has-sante.fr/portail/upload/docs/application/pdf/2009-10/synthese_depistage_vih_volet_2_vfv_2009-10-21_16-48-3_460.pdf

        UK http://www.bashh.org/documents/2613

        Do you think the health authorities would take the risk of declaring people HIV free if they were not absolutely sure?

        Maybe people with weak immunity system would turn positive later.

        Other links: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV—Prevention/what-is-the-window-period-for-hiv/show/1704700

        One more question (since a lot of people question the reliability and existence of hiv testing). Do you trust hiv test? does hiv really exist?

        You comments would be very much appreciated.

        • Look man, you just don’t have it, ok? Just tell yourself, “I don’t have it!” and just move on with your life, ok? That is all you can do. Only a few people turned positive late, and those were health care workers no doubt with robust immune systems.

        • Leo

          thanks again. those were health care workers….. so the only one with a sure date of exposure! this window period is a tricky thing. I am not going to bother you again. Thanks

      • John Stamossi

        Hi Robert,
        The info you post is very useful and has brought me a great deal of comfort reading it. thank you so much for that. I am an American male living in Peru at the moment. in the past month or so I’ve had four sexual encounters all Heterosexual and Penis-vagina. Two encounters wore a condom, one encounter condom broke and next encounter did not use one. I realize that is low risk based on what ive read here. However i’ve had a rash that extends from the pubic top to my inner thigh and i would like to know just much more risk that entails. thank you in advance for your help.

        • Herpes? Go to the doctor and have it checked out.

        • John Stamossi

          I know for sure its not herpes because i have already been to the doctor and have been taking medication for it. It is in fact just a rash. do you think my chances infection a lot higher because of it?
          John

        • Is a rash one of the first signs of HIV infection? I doubt if it is.

          Why don’t you go get tested?

        • John Stamossi

          Sorry if I didnt clarify but the rash i had was there before and during the encounters. But you are absolutely right i will get checked. thank you for everything Robert, i appreciate it.
          John

        • trevman randall

          how much more likely would it be to acquire HIV from sex while you have a rash anyway? it can’t be that much. I would think you’re more likely to get it if you have sex while having an open sore like herpes and warts and such… Robert?

        • You won’t get it if you have a rash. Women in the US hardly shed any HIV anyway, and it’s all out of their vaginas. The titers are so low I am amazed you can get HIV from a woman at all. They are barely even high enough to transmit.

        • trevman randall

          ya Robert’s right I’ve been at this for quite some time and every credible source basically corroborates everything he said: for example, one report stated, “The transmission female to male is so small that
          its only theoretical, unlike the measurable male to female long term
          risk of repeated expose to the same man….”

  56. Mike

    Robert,

    Have been reading your comments and wanted to ask you about an expierence I am worried about. About a year ago now I got really drunk and had sex with a stripper in Miami. We had oral and vaginal sex, and about 10 minutes into it she stopped me and told me the condom had broke. I am not sure of her nationality, but she seemed hispanic if i had to guess. I am worried sick because I do not know when the condom broke and how long i was having sex with her un protected. About a week after it I had direhea and just and upset stomach, no other real symptom though. Now I have moved to new york, and ever since this I have been getting colds what seems like regulary. I seem to always have a sore throat. I am worried sick that I could have got HIV from her but am too nervous to go get tested. Everything I have had says how un likely it is to get it from one time exposure even if she was positive and i didnt use a condom at all, which I did for some part of it even though it broke. I know your going to say go get tested to be sure but do you think there is much risk at all from just this expierence? Thanks.

    • You need to just go and get tested, that’s what you need to do. Because unless you do that, you are never going to stop worrying. I really do not think you have it anyway, the odds are so low.

  57. Dan

    Hey Robert,

    I think I have HIV OCD.

    25 yo hetero male from Manhattan. I was tested in January after a 18 month window period. I have been abstinent for 2 years now. My doctor told me that it should be a ritual for adults to get tested. Once the blood was drawn from my arm, I all of the sudden felt panic.I Had a full blood test, and while I waited for the results, I had a rapid test. Both tests came back negative. No HIV, no Clap, syphilis, herpes, etc……..Honestly, a lot of girls think I am gay because I constantly turn down the opportunity to have sex, and when I do have sex, I am always feeling dirty and guilty. But anyway, these results I received are conclusive, yet I still worry. Why the fuck am I still worried? Do I have a mental problem here? Should I seek a specialist? Should I take medication? I constantly think about the consequences of HIV!! I have totally lost interest in sex. Any girl that approaches me in a bar, I turn away because I think she might have HIV. I mean, I masturbate to girls at least 3 times a week because I know that we will never be in actual physical contact………… In addition, I have been drinking a lot of beer lately while on antibiotics. I know that antibiotics kill good bacteria and I think the excessive beer drinking mixed with the antibiotics has given me a yeast infection in my butthole. Now I am worried that I have HIV because of the yeast infection, which could easily be explained by the antibiotics, pasta, bread, and 6+ yeasty beers a day… I am a mess. An absolute mess. I should be able to find peace of mind in my 17 month window period results right?

    • Hi there, yes it does look like you have HIV OCD. You don’t have HIV. Period. That’s all there is to it. As far as worrying about women having it, well, don’t worry about that. Go here, register an account, and tell them what is going on.

  58. Daniel

    Robert
    I had sex with a 42 women who is recently divorced. She has 4 kids and does massages out of her house. I live in Virginia. We had unprotected sex once that last for maybe 10 min. She was very tight. I had to use spit to lube her up. I did ejaculate in her. She said she doesn’t do that kinda of thing on a long time. It felt like it had been a while for her. I’m freaking out now though. I feel horrible cause o cheated on my wife. I won’t sleep with wife now because of HIV fear. Should I be so paranoid?

    • I don’t think you have it, but why don’t you go get tested anyway?

      • Daniel

        What do you think the chances would be? She told me she was tested in sept2012. She’s the only other women besides my wife that I’ve ever had unprotected sex with. Well it was only 4 days ago so getting tested now wouldn’t do me any good right?

    • Aakash

      Pussy pistoning has 0 chance ZERO fuckin chance of getting you HIV. Wouldn’t rule out HPV or warts though. You’ll see if there are any warts in a few weeks.

      The scaremongering is insane. As long as you don’t take a dick up your ass, you have a very low chance of getting it.

      Btw, out of curiosity, I’d like to know any milf with 4 kids that’s very tight. How did that happen?

  59. Mo

    Hello, i’m currently worried made on of the biggest mistakes of my life. Got drunk one day had sex with a prostitute, had unprotected oral sex and then protected vaginal sex with durex extra safe. I made a mistake that i took the condom off then wore it to enter her again, dont think i touched her fluids and condom didn’t break. Im really scared to death and i had a sore throat the next day and i assume i’m allergic to latex cuz the tip penis is irritated and get a burning sensation while peeing, help please!! Yeah thid was in egypt with an egyptian prostitute

    • Hi, you don’t have it. There’s no HIV in Egyptian prostitutes anyway. But go get a test just to get a baseline anyway.

      • Mo

        I’m really sorry to bother u but i’ve stressing over it, can’t sleep, go out or eat. How well do u know that egyptian prostitutes dont have it. Thank u

      • Jojai76

        Just looking for a second opinion. Would getting a handjob from a stripper that used saliva as lubricant justify being worried about hiv or getting tested?

        • Jojai76

          Oh yeah I’m in America on the east coast

        • No, there is no way that you could possibly get HIV from this act. But have you ever had an HIV test? Why don’t you go and get an HIV test to get a baseline?

        • Jojai76

          Thank you, I get tested yearly, was just wondering if I needed Ito bump my test date sooner! But I’ve gotten 3 opinions from hiv specialists/professionals/ one being a doctor. all said its absolutely not spread that way. I’m in a relationship and had a bit too much to drink at a bachelor party, just trying to play it safe! Thank you very much, now ill just have to deal with the guilt and not the fear

  60. suicidal

    Dear Robert,

    I left a message a few months ago about how my fear of getting tested has been ruining my life for years. I have been on anxiety medications for 5 years and they are really evil fucking things. I live in Asia (not Thailand) and frequent massage parlors. Always used protection. Anyway, I had enough of the not knowing and all the accompanying guilt last week and went and got tested. It was negative. I felt so great after getting the result and my anxiety started to leave me like big waves. I could literally feel it leaving my body. That lasted for a week and I was on a natural high. I was starting the long road to recovering from anxiety and meds. I vowed to never put myself at risk like that ever again and get a girlfriend instead (which may not be any less risky). Well, a week later, I went out for a drink to celebrate and after getting totally fucked up, I ended up back in the same massage parlor with my favorite girl. In my drunken state, I convinced myself that having went for so long, having always used protection and still getting a negative result, one last time to bid farewell to that way of life would be OK.

    Well, something happened that has never happened to me before.

    After doing her for maybe half an hour, she gets on top for about 2 or 3 minutes max. She was really grinding it and arching back which stretched my thang kinda into an uncomfortable forward extended position instead of up. She said she was tired and wanted me on top again. As she got up, she was like: “Where did the condom go?” My heart sank. She gets up and fishes it out of her. It wasn’t broken, nor was it very deep inside. When I woke the next morning with a serious ass hangover, I was so angry at myself because I knew I was not going to be able to live with myself. This massage parlor is huge and has been around for years. They insist on condoms and I have been told the girls are tested every 3 months. I also think it is likely that it slipped off when she went to get up as she didn’t hold the rubber as she got off, which means I probably wasn’t exposed…I was drunk, she wasn’t, so surely she would have felt a lose condom inside grinding around on me, right? But then again, I may have been exposed for a good 2 minutes. I am suicidal man. A few words of advice would help. I got nobody to talk to…I feel I have ruined the life I only just took back last fucking week.

  61. suicidal

    Will it really show up in 2 weeks? The place I went use this rapid 15 minute test here. That was the only reason why I had the balls to get it done. I couldn’t wait a day or a week.

  62. I had sex with q black hoe about q month month ago Ive been testing likr crazy but its been Like crazy I was only fuckin like 20 secs till I felt the rubber felt werid I pulled out and noticed it was riped then I stoped I got test last week and it was negative….it was exactly u think I should let it go I try but it has me traumatized

    • Where did you have sex with this woman?

      • I’m from La bro I’m tired of worrying I been tested like 4 times in April …..we all make mistakes and I’ve been really scared

      • It’s been 3 weeks goin on 4…and all where negative..I’m tired of worrying bro I need to move on from this …I’m tired of being scared

        • I’m from LA Robert sorry bout that..I got tested last week which was 3week post possible exposure…..my doctor told me that my results came back good ….but all the other stuff I read on the internet about one Month being to soon to test has me still worried i can’t let it go I fill like its something that’s stuck in my head ….what should I do

        • 3 week test is just fine for the exposure that you had.

        • And I know ur not worried about me ..but why give people advice if ur just gonna act like u don’t want to hear them….no disrespect but ur website is the only thing that keeps me going…

        • Sorry, I am very tired right now. Just stop worrying about it, assume you don’t have it, and move on. Or you can get tested in 3 months, but then you will worry again that you should wait for 6 months or a year. 3 weeks is fine for such an extremely low risk as yours.

  63. coward

    Yo Robert I regularly have unprotected sex with a bunch of black girls, can I get HIV from that? These girls also slut around with a bunch of guys who in turn turn screw a lot of other girls.

  64. coward

    Isnt HIV found in vaginal fluids, and as a result HIV positive mothers have to deliver their babies via Caesaerian section? I have heard people tell me this, but I am not sure if this is true.

  65. u have to be careful and always wear protection because the statistics is scientific data after the fact… during the encounter you dont know your risk rate just because you are having heterosexual sex.. he/she can have another std/ bacteria/ yeast infection that increases your chances by far. you can knock her period on, or make her bleed from dryness or ruff-ness, she can have a viral overload (infested), or you can have a weak immune system… no one can just use general information for specifics. u have to know each case subject’s health history, sexual practices and body responses to properly tell the exact probability of the 2 specific people passing the virus during an encounter. my ?, why does it take 2000 times when if antibodies hits your system and your immune sys doesn’t fight it off, its a done deal wether its round 2 or 2000? please help me understand..

    • What’s up Rob …..its been 35 days Since a possible exposr…and my results are still negative….do u think a 6 week test would ever turn positive. Im not gonna wait 3 months I’m tired of thinkin bout this stuff….and whats ur opinion on 8 weeks…

      • Just forget it man. Just assume that you don’t have it and move right along. The condom broke and you were only in here for 20 seconds. Anyway, it is hard to get HIV from a prostitute in the US, even a Black one in LA. And especially with an exposure like that.

  66. Im just a lil scared cause today I fill sick and rundown….u think its HIV if I just got tested Monday..ans now its Friday

    • Well I got tested on Monday bro and now I fill like I’m gettin sick ….its been 36 days since I mad a stupid mistake…..I want to move on with my life man …

  67. I’m not gay u dum fuck….and Ayy pussy like u I bet has never been with a girl in his life……now go back and play lord of war craft I fucken weirdo…..its people like u that don’t make it in life

    • coward

      Anyways, g-man, you DO NOT HAVE AIDS. Just take a Valium or Xanax and relax. You probably will get some VD if you fuck enough bitches without a condom, but hey, we are all gonna die one day anyways, so who cares? Just enjoy your life.
      The world is a dangerous place. You can be infected ANYDAY. Just enjoy life anyways, or you will die, from a heart attack.

      • This hiv scare has turned my world around…I just don’t want it …I regret what’ I did I used protection too I always havee bullshit condom just ripped….wwhats ur opinion on this shit

        • Idk man my tester even told me if he seen me around again that he was also gonna send me to get some help….Ive been like this for almost 5 .6 weeks I’m tired of it bro…Ii don’t knoe what yo do no more

        • Have u gotten tested recently ….I use to be like u dog I was out hear fucken all these females thinkin I’m big shit and I actually caught the clap from one of these bitches…..so I know what fucken aroumd could lead to …..I been trippin ever since the day I gave up the weed and I’ve been smoking for 7 years straight….we all make mistakes man and I was drinking when I mad mine ….u think a 5 week test will ever turn positive…

  68. I’m Mexican bro but I have my black homies..I live in watts I guess u could say the ghetto….and what do u think my results are gonna be in one month….when I first fucked up I convinced my self that I had HIV or aids and the doctors in the hospital where scaring the shit out of me man…its not so much havin aidcan’t picture myself with HIV even if u could live a healthy life..

    • U think ill be alright…I spoke with Robert and he tells me to leave it alone but I cant everyone has told me to but I can’t…buy the way where u from bro

      • Dam I guess we got something on common and where I’m from there’s always something happening too….I don’t know if u ever heard of watts but its right next to Compton….maybe one day I could look back at all this and laugh cause I need to move on …and a month isn’t that long I’ve been dealing with this all of April I know I could make it until june….I just wanna hear that result already

    • Look coward, I am going to have to ban you. You are trolling the site. You can’t come here and troll the site. It’s not this post that is the problem, it is the lot of them.

  69. mq

    Rob are men more likely getting hiv from a female hiv+ prostitute then you are a female hiv+ non prostitute?

  70. 6 week test is good. 3 month test is good. 8 week test is ridiculous.

  71. Mike

    Eh Robert im stressing out mayb you can help calm my nerves, Im a male 21 i recently had unprotected sex with a stripper in Canada (ontario) the condom broke and i really dont know how long i was inside of her for but i would guess 5 mins if i had to ball park it. I put a new condom on and then cummed, I also had a tiny scap on my penis do to previous masturbathion and it probably ripped opened at the time, I got hiv test about 2 weeks after came back neg, and she got one too the next day and it came back neg as well, hows it looking for me? thanks.

  72. wolf

    If this migh help some posters stressing out for peanuts : aids is bullshit that’s the explanation for your heterosexual males have no Hiv. You get it from frequent (daily) intravenuous ior anal drug or medicine injections that shut down your immune system. It is a giant hoax by big pharma (like the out of africa theory you believe in 🙂 ) .
    But first watch this nobel prize winner detroy aids.

  73. Yep you really need to let this ride, you know.

  74. I try to let it go ..my HIV counselor That I’ve been driving nuts said he was gonna test me on wendsay which would be exactly

  75. So does it mean that if u have sex wit a positive woman 4 jst one ejaculation the probability of contractin the disease is zero?

  76. aneesh

    I am a 26 year old male from India. Yesterday i had unprotected sexual intercourse (oral and vaginal) with a call girl of whom i am not sure is HIV +ve or not. I know i did a very stupid thing , but it was my first sexual experience in my life and i was not getting an erection using condom , so we ended up doing without any protection. I did not ejaculated inside her, but she had orgasm 2 times during the act.

    Now that everything is over i am so freaked out about my future.
    What risk is there for me to get infected?

  77. Worry Wart

    Say a guy had unprotected sex with a woman with unknown status one time 6 years ago and engaged in oral sex and the intercourse was basically in and out a few times and no ejaculation. His girlfriend of 2 years has asked me, I mean “him” to get tested. He had no sexual relations at all for 4 years between the aforementioned woman and his current girlfriend. Low risk…right?

  78. Phillip

    I had unprotected sex with a prostitute that a couple nights ago. This was about 30 seconds of unprotected, after several minutes of a condom did nothing for me. She claims she is clean and was tested a month ago and came up negative. I had her take an over the counter Oraqucik yesterday, which was negative. My fear is the window period……but I think I al letting anxiety get the better of me and the risk is astronomically low.

    Thank you for the info and time you put in here.

  79. Ai

    Hi robert i am from new delhi india and just on 26th july night i got pretty drunk and had sex with a black (negro ) woman(sex worker) and while having sex my condom broke. The exposure must ve been for less than a minute so i quickly changed my condom plus i am circumcised . As far as she told me she gets her tests after every 3 months and she seemed pretty safe as she dint even give me oral sex without condom plus delhi only has an hit rate of 0.25% one of the lowest hiv states in the country . i ve been freaking out since then . I went to the hospital next day and got my pcr p24 antigen hit 1 and hiv2 which all came negative . I started my pep within 20 hours lamivudine and zidovudine and 3 days later got my cbcs and kft and lft ,vdrl ?rpr hepatitis b surface antigen antibodies to hepatitis c all came non reactive but my bilrubin level has increased is it due to the pep . I am freaking out to death .PLease help me out

    • I really doubt if you got it.

      • Ai

        So sir ur suggesting me that the nightmares i am going through because of this medicine is a waste and can i discontinue taking it since its fucking my digestive system up …..Also i your replies above you ve said that indian cases are different from that in us and uk

        • You do what you want to do. There is a small chance that you got HIV, but I doubt it. If you got HIV and you quit the meds, you are screwed. But if you don’t have HIV and you quit the meds, you are fine.

          I really do not think that you caught it honestly.

          You won’t get it from one minute in her pussy.

          She gets tested every 3 months, which is great.

  80. Ali

    Thats what she told me that she gets checked every three months but i don’t know that ……does my taking the medicines reduce the transmission by any chance ….Anyways just want to tell you i love your blogs and your doing an amazing job educating people about such things ….cheers!!

  81. steve

    I had protected sex with a CSW In abu dhabi, I am from the UK. It was a very short encounter maybe a minute or two. after sex deposed the condom washed myself very well and urinated after. I have fordyce spot on the base of my shaft… can HIV be spread through those little bumps. what are my risks, I test negative after a rapid hiv test at the 2 week point..

  82. Alex

    Hii guys i stay in india i have had unprotected sex many times in the last 5 yrs but never got tested 6months ago had sex with a housewife and one day she called me and said she is hiv+ i got the chills running trough my spine so went for a hiv test next day to my suprise i tested negative i consulted the pathologist and asked him to do one more test to which he laugfed an said if u want to waiste ur money we can do one more test again the same result ao went to a govt hospital for a test report again negative how is this possible

  83. Manny

    Pat Robertson delved into a discussion about AIDS during a recent episode of “The 700 Club,” in which he suggested that infected individuals in cities like San Francisco purposefully infect others by cutting them with special rings.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/pat-robertson-aids-rings_n_3824401.html

  84. worriedsickdude

    Hi whilst in Florida 4 weeks ago I had a hand job in a asian massage parlour. All was fine but then the woman cleaned me (including the head of my penis) with a hot towel from an incubator. I later worried that if the towel was not cleaned and had been used to clean other males it would possibly be able to infect the head of my penis with another dudes sperm! What are the risks here?

  85. worriedsickdude

    thank you for your time and energy with regards to this thread along with patience!

  86. Gigue

    About four years ago, I had unprotected penis/vagina sex with a girlfriend of mine. I never knew her status. She got around in college, but I don’t think she ever did hard drugs or anything of the sort.

    Here’s the thing: I was only inside of her for a couple minutes until I realized that I didn’t have a condom, so I pulled out and never entered her again. I started thinking about this, and now I’m a little paranoid.

    I don’t think I ever developed any symptoms. I’ve of course had a regular cold or the flu for a day or two here and there over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that could be described as what some people are calling the “worst flu ever,” which seems to accompany ARS.

    I’ve started up a new relationship with someone, going steady. I want to be healthy for her, and from what you’re saying, it seems statistically impossible for me to have received anything from the aforementioned lady. Should I really spend the money on a comprehensive STD test, or should I just put this out of my mind and get on with my life? Thanks for everything.

    • There are free and county clinics that give STD screens for free. You might want to get and HIV test just to get a baseline. I doubt if you caught anything from her. You didn’t get HIV, and the other STD’s all have noticeable side effects in the male. Trust me, I know!

      • Gigue

        Thank you for your prompt response! When you say so casually that I “didn’t get HIV,” are you basing this on the fact that I haven’t experienced strange symptoms after 4 years, or on the fact that I haven’t received any other STD symptoms, or what? (I’m a straight, white male, clean and sober, if that helps.) I purchased an oral HIV test online an hour or so ago.

        • It is extremely difficult for a man in America to catch HIV via vaginal intercourse with a woman for a variety of reasons. You certainly won’t get it from 2 minutes in a pussy with a regular chick with no risk factors. Plus, you got no symptoms afterwards. Further, your health has not deteriorated in the interim.

          Bottom line is it is quite difficult for a man to get this disease from a woman in the US from vaginal intercourse. It does happen from time to time, but generally it is via a wife or steady gf that the guy is having sex with many times on a regular basis.

          The HIV titers in vaginal fluid are so low that I am amazed it even transmits. Further, it is pretty hard to find an entry point in the penis.

  87. Gigue

    So you mean to say that after 4 years, my health should be pretty bad?

  88. Danny

    Robert,
    I recently had sex with a white female prostitute in Virginia (10/7/2013). During intercourse the condom came off and we stopped. Normally I would not worry but a day before I had jerked off using soap as lubricant and my cock was still,raw and/or had abrasions at time of sex. Could vaginal fluid get in the abrasions? What is the likelihood of me having hiv? When should I test ( and how)?

    I am really freaking out. It has gotten so bad I am scared to even get around my kids after shaving (cuts) or going to the bathroom. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

    • You probably didn’t get it. Have you have had an HIV test before? Wait 3 weeks and go get a test. No reason to act paranoid around your kids. A parent with HIV almost never gives it to their children.

  89. Danny

    Thanks for the reply. I’ll do what you say. In terms of odds does “probably” did not get it mean it’s unlikely like say 1 in 100, or 1 in 1000, or 1/3? Not trying to be difficult, just anxious. I appreciate all the help and advice.

    PS I enjoy your blog.

  90. Danny

    Thanks so much. All the best.

  91. glenn

    hi Robert,

    I was in Thailand last week and was with a thai prostitute..
    the condom snapped and I came inside her..
    once I noticed I quickly went to the shower washed it the best I could and urininated in the toilet..
    7/8 days later I have got the flu/running noise..
    would washing and urinating make any difference and I want to get tested straight away but I might not get an accurate reading..

    what is your advice im panicing here…

  92. PAUL

    I am reading this now, I literally put my penis in a girl for no more than probably 10 seconds, about 6/7 months ago and then I realized what I was doing is putting me at risk. I never ejaculated in her but now I am shitting a brick here trying to book an appointment for a test in Belfast is very difficult

  93. Slick Jones

    Hi Robert , I too am from India and am really scared and tensed , I did have an encounter with a prostitue just 24 hours ago wherein she kind just rubbed my penis on her vagina during which time My penis may have entered her vagina by only an inch , I realized this and within about 5 secs took out my penis., Am so scared that I haven’t had a nights sleep and Can’t seem to stay focused during the day, don’t know what to do,was even planning to start antiretoviral drug treatment after emailing a doctor but the doc emailed back saying that “the treatment was not indicated for me” and would have serious side effects , he suggested getting a test only after a month and said that even if that were negative would have to go on testing every month till the completion of 9 months.
    I do remember that she was really wet and that I too may have had pre-cum

  94. Kylie

    Hey Robert,
    So I’ve read your post about how the likelihood of men contracting HIV from heterosexual sex with women is very low, can you say the same for women? I’m a 21-year-old female from the Philippines, university-educated, and haven’t really slept around. Became sexually active when I got together with my boyfriend of 2 years, and we were each other’s first. Apart from being monogamous, we consistently used condoms for birth control. So we broke up recently and I had a one-night stand with a guy I met who was a few years older than me. He seemed pretty average, and apart from having had a few girlfriends, he was also fuck buddies with a few girls he knew from college, but other than that I didn’t really know him that much. It was the first time I had unprotected sex, and the first time I’ve had sex since the breakup. I’ve never had anal sex. I want to tell myself that because it only happened once and the chances of this guy getting it seemed pretty low, odds are probably in my favor. Probably gonna get a test soon, but some reassurance would really help a lot, thanks.

    • Women definitely get it from men, but it does not transmit easily that way either. In almost all cases, there is some sort of a long term relationship and the woman gets it from sleeping with the guy multiple times over a period of time. In some other cases, there was rough sex and the woman had some bleeding in her vagina, and that can cause transmission.

  95. Kylie

    And if it helps, he didn’t ejaculate inside me. This happened 3 months ago.

  96. Kylie

    Wow, really appreciate the swift response. That definitely calmed me down. I didn’t bleed afterwards, and it was just a one-time thing, so safe to say it’s low-risk then?

  97. RV4pilot

    I am a male and on November 14th I had a single act of unprotected sex with a woman. She told me that she had not had penetration for three years, so she claims she is sexually inactive. I do not know her HIV status. On December 11th I had the antibody HIV test. On December 13th I was told the results were negative. However, I read that the window for the antibody test is 2 – 8 weeks, and I was tested only four weeks after the encounter. I have scheduled a blood draw on Monday Deember 23rd for the HIV RNA test. Even though the antibody test came back negative, I am terrified of the results of the RNA test. How much should I be worrying???

    • You should not be worried at all.

      • RV4pilot

        Thanks. Do you think that the test in four weeks was long enough to wait? I’m still going to have the RNA test, even though it is vey expensive. Just to be sure. The data says have a 0.05% chance of getting HIV. I hope I am not the one. I am fretting because earlier this year my wife of 33 years died and I have now met a wonderful lady. If a one time act gave me HIV and I lost her because of that don’t know what I would do. I am making myself crazy…

        • If I were in your boots, a 4 week negative test would mean “I don’t have it,” but as you pointed out, that’s not necessarily true.

          Who says you have .05% chance of having HIV? What is that statistic based on?

    • That’s IF she had HIV. What are the odds that this woman had HIV? Maybe 1% chance, if that, right? OK now divide .05 by 100 and what do you get? .005%

      Now on top of that, you have a negative test at 4 weeks! How many negatives at 4 weeks turn positive later on? Small number no?

      Have many antibody-negative tests go positive on RNA? Got any figures?

      A 6-week test is always great. You should have gotten the test at 6 weeks instead of 4.

      • RV4pilot

        When I had the test at 4 weeks I didn’t know about how long to wait. I had my annual physical and mentioned it to my doctor and he wrote the scrip for the test. He said I shouldn’t worry. He didn’t suggest waiting any specific time. Then I had to go in to get the results since they won’t give them over the phone. That scared me. The PA said I was fine and that I shouldn’t worry. She said that if I wanted to be sure I should get tested in three months and gave me a scrip. So, I guess I shouldn’t be too concerned, but I am a worrier by nature. The RNA test will tell the tale. I get blood drawn tomorrow they say that results are available in 1 – 2 days. I expect that I should hear something Thursday.

        • You are just not going to get it from screwing a woman one time via vaginal sex unless maybe she was bleeding inside or something of that nature.

          That .05% is based on studies where men had regular sex with their HIV positive wives and partners for years on end. Even then, after five years of very regular sex, only 20% had gotten infected. For some reason, most guys who get infected do so after many instances of regular sex with an HIV positive woman. Why that is, I have no idea, but guys just don’t get it from one time PIV sex here in the US.

          You can get it from a single instance of insertive anal sex with no condom with a woman though. It goes rather easier that way.

  98. RV4pilot

    I so very much hope you are right. I will post my results when I receive them. Thank you very much for the hope you have given me.

    • RV4pilot

      Results came back HIV-1 RNA not detected. My relief is palpable. You were right. Thank you for all your support and information.

  99. fighter

    Hi sir, last time a had sex with white sex worker in capetown. She gave me oral without condom but with condom in vaginal sex. After 2 weeks I had ghonorrhea but already cured. I think I got it with oral sex, what is my chance of having hiv?

    • 0%. You don’t have it. You got gonorrhea from her throat when she gave you oral sex. You can definitely get gonorrhea from a woman giving you a blowjob, but no way can you get HIV that way. That is because gonorrhea can live in your throat, but HIV can’t. It lives in your bloodstream more or less.

  100. John

    Hey robert,im a african american male and i had protected sex with a african american hooker exactly a month ago in atlanta,but i say last 20 second the condom ripped and i ejaculated in her,she said she was clean,but i am still scared,ive be searching websites and its making me feel worse.i had a swollen lymph node behind my ear for about a week but it dramatically swollen down and u can hardly notice it now,i had a dry cough for a couple days,and on and off headeaches and nausea,and a little sore throat,and other websites say they are all symptoms..but can it just be anxiety and a lil cold..im not feeling any flu symptoms..should i be worried??

  101. Jojo

    Well I fucked this Native woman in California 10 minutes with a condom and about 5 without it until I cum and she was on her period heavily bleeding and shit…. Dumb fucking idea I know…. She didnt wanted to fuck because she was bleeding but fuck alcohol makes you fucking retarded… I tested negative at 5 weeks with a 3rd generation test that is somehow comforting. I have yet to hear of a case of a man getting hiv from a woman on her period fuck I hope and pray I’m not the first….

    • You would think you could get it if she is on her period, but like you, I have never heard of a case. Take your 5 week 3rd generation test to the bank. It would be good enough for me.

  102. Jairmey

    Mr. Lindsay hello, I would like to share my experience with you so here goes, Im 19 years old, and my bare penis was exposed to the inside of a girl who I hear is very promiscuous for approxiamtely 1 minute before I withdrew from sex because I realized i was making a huge mistake, I asked her before and after about having hiv aids and she said she doesnt, even after she got upset and said “Just go to the doctor so they can tell you that your ok”, i have been living in extreme anxiety for the past month, i suffer from anxiety and depression anyway but this is just too much, i want a family in the future and all that and im just scared…what are my chances of NOT having this disease, my biggest fear is her not even knowing she has it and having a high viral load

  103. Jairmey

    thanks! what makes you say I dont though??

    • 1. She does not have HIV. Few White American women do. Those that do shoot dope.

      2. One minute in woman’s vagina won’t give you HIV.

      HIV is a blood borne illness, it goes by blood. And it is very hard to go from woman to man in the US.

  104. Jairmey

    Bless You Mr Robert! so I shouldnt worry and go back to skating and soccer and live my life??? That what if thought is killing my mind

  105. Jairmey

    I also saw a vid put up by a woman in the Detroit area ( im not in that area) thats saying the names of the men shes had sex with and shes saying she has HIV and shes like I want you all to know you are going to die and you are going with me, This scared the living fuck out of me but then again all scientist and doctors say HIV seldom transmits from one exposure so does that mean I should just not worry about that video? it really shot my anxiety through the roof

    • Look, if you have sex with an HIV positive woman say 750 times over maybe a five year period with no condom as part of a regular marital relationship, you only have a 20% chance of getting it from the woman. So if you have sex with an HIV positive woman ~750 times over ~5 years, there’s an 80% chance that you won’t even get it, see?

      It goes a lot better by anal if you fuck the woman in the ass. Then you can get it a lot more easily because your penis might be exposed to blood in her anus.

  106. Jairmey

    oHH I see….so I shou;dnt be worrying?

  107. Hang it up dude.

    You should be more worried about getting chlamydia or gonorrhea instead. A lot of young Black girls have especially chlamydia and it’s easy as Hell to get with one brief act of vaginal intercourse with a woman. You get obvious symptoms though. That’s why you might want to wrap it.

    You also might want to get an HIV test just to show to women. Having a recent clean test is nice to show to a girl. Really all of us straights should just be getting tested pretty regularly.

    You also might want to get the vaccine for Hepatitis B or Hepatitis A. You can’t get Hepatitis B really from sex with woman, but you can theoretically get Hep A from anal-oral contact with a woman. Not sure if that is in your sexual repertoire.

    Also go and get yourself the HPV vaccine. They are mostly giving it to girls but they need to give it to guys too. HPV is everywhere and by age 50 most all of us have it. Thing is you can give it to a woman and she gets cervical or throat cancer or you can catch it from a woman and get throat cancer.

    Herpes is out there, it’s incurable, but it’s really no big deal and it won’t kill you. You take some pills and it goes away. One out of six Americans already has it.

    Other than that, there is not a whole lot to worry about as far as sex with regular American women, not street whores.

  108. Jairmey

    ok sorry for all my questions thanks so much for your help, I feel much better now, soon ill be over the whole thing. but yeah ive never done anal or none of that, this was the first time my bare penis has been in a girl and im just really paranoid, i really cant imagine even the thought of having hiv. this girl is definately a whore but ive come to realize the odds are in my favor from you and many other professionals.

    • Definitely a whore LOL! Well there a place in the world for a woman like her, as Elton John sings. There will always be whores, it’s inevitable.

      Anyway, if you have health care, go get:

      Hep A vaccine
      Hep B vaccine
      HPV vaccine

      Big risk from women and girls is gonorrhea and chlamydia, so you might want to wrap it. And Herpes is something to think about, but there is no way to protect against it. There really are not a whole lot of risks screwing non prostitute females regular style in the US.

      The real VD risk is guys screwing guys, but I take it you don’t swing like that LOL.

    • Congratulations on losing your virginity too. Welcome to manhood my friend!

  109. Jairmey

    It would be a good idea to start back my therapy sessions too right?

  110. Jairmey

    Also have you ever heard of anyone catching it from such a brief hetero encounter??Even her load was high?

  111. Jairmey

    My diagnoses is Anxiety and Depression

  112. Jairmey

    What do you mean?

  113. Jairmey

    My own mom even told me to just forget it and stop stressing

  114. Jairmey

    Now it feels as if i have a tiny lymph node in my neck….i dont know what to do,,,i kinda wish i was dead…

  115. Jairmey

    Someone please reply to me im fucking freaking out, im sorry to keep posting, im just a kid my whole life is waiting for me

    • Trent

      Hey, same thing happened to me when I was 20. I ended up wasting 6 months of my life because I thought I had HIV. The lymph node is nothing. You’re fine. Just be safe from now on. Don’t waste your life worrying like I did.

  116. Jairmey

    Can you share your experience with me? and thanks man, much love

  117. Jairmey

    Also why does everyone tell me they dont believe i have HIV when i put myself at a risk, but it was small

  118. Jairmey

    I just had a anxiety attack that was so bad my mom had to pull over, now it feels like i have two lymph nodes on my neck i keep feeling for them,..its been two months since the encounter…i seriously need help

  119. leo

    do not wait any further to get the needed help. this thing has almost ruined my life. please do not do 100s of tests. make sure you do it at the right deadline and check all the equipment used. OCD can easily transfer on something else. do not read internet. it is hard i know. I am still on medication . get professional help before it s late. regards

  120. cryingchild

    Hi Robert,
    Hopefully just to ease things up a little bit on my anxiety.. I just want to know my risks..

    I had a stupid one exposure to unprotected vaginal intercourse with a prostitute from Philippines. it lasted less than 30 minutes. now I don’t know the status of the girl..

    I am circumcised by the way.. and this is the only exposure I had that is considered to be risky.. I had my test 1 week after the exposure and it resulted as non-reactive. now I am about to get tested again on march 2.. which will mark the 85th day.. I hope everything turns out well!

    Keep up the good work on your blog.

  121. Gottlieb

    Adieu Alan Turing genes!! Adieu!!

  122. Jairmey

    I tested NEGATIVE on the oraquick at home test!!!! thanks for all your support!!

  123. Jairmey

    Should trust that result or test again to make sure??

  124. Jairmey

    Ok…ok your right Mr. Rob, sorry for being a little prick, thanks

  125. John

    Robert, I have a question. This past weekend I had sex with four different prostitutes at a red light district in South Korea over a two day span after feeling down and having too much to drink on both occasions. Since then I have not only felt worse about myself but am very concerned about any possible stds, especially HIV. In each incident a condom was used for vaginal sex but there may have been oral sex without one. On one occurrence I went a little soft and the girl had to change the condom. I cannot recall all the details but remember nothin else out of the ordinary. I have since been tested and everything came back negative but know that two days between the incidence and test is probably not enough time. I have had a slight sore throat and stuffy nose that is already feeling better but nothing serious (possibly from anxiety or drinking). I have been reading a lot about my risks and also read genital herpes can increase your risk so when I found a small red dot near my genitals where a condom wouldn’t cover I got more worried. However the doctor said it was just an ingrown hair and seemed to think it wouldn’t have added any risk and it doesn’t look open or bloody. Prostitution seems to be common in Korea and I’ve read that the HIV rate is very very low (lower than the USA) so I don’t know how worried I should be. Other than feeling like an idiot, I’m wondering…. Should I be very concerned?

    • Your risk of getting HIV = 0%. Prostitutes in Korea hardly have it anyway.

      Your risk of other stuff is very low. I suppose you could get Herpes with a condom. You can also get HPV with a condom.

      • John

        Thanks for the speedy reply and the reassurance. I know what I did was dumb. Could the alcohol have had any effects other than slight memory loss? And would I need to even bother worrying about a sexual experience with someone else? Would you recommend getting a test in a few months to be safe?

        • There is no need to get any testing whatsoever. I suppose you could get tested for HPV if there is even a test.

          You can also get the HPV vaccine. I want it myself.

          Other vaccines:

          Hepatitis B – mostly gays, but be on the safe side.
          Hepatitis A – mostly gays but you can get it from a restaurant too.

          That’s it for vaccines sorry.

        • If you have never had an HIV test before, go get a baseline done.

        • John

          I got tested this week after the incident and was all clean. Thanks for the advice

        • John

          Robert, I know you said not to worry but I’ve had a sore throat and slight cough all week. My tongue also felt a little strange. I’m very anxious to the point I’m thinking about going to an international clinic for an RNA test. Is there any chance anything could have passed through the ingrown hair? Or from when the condom might have slipped? When I popped the sore yesterday solid white pus came out like I read an ingrown hair should so I don’t think the sore was anything else but still find myself very anxious. What if the condom malfunctioned or one of the girls was on their period and I never noticed? Am I over concerning myself?

        • John

          I also feel there might be some swelling in the lymph nodes in my neck. Could that even be related after just one week?

        • An RNA test makes no real sense at this point anyway to assuage your fears. You need to wait until March 2 or better yet March 24 to get a test that will really put you to ease and give you a baseline.

          Have you been to a therapist or a psychiatrist? Have you considered you might have an anxiety disorder.

          LOOK.

          It is THEORETICALLY possible that you could have have caught HIV from these encounters. Yet I would bet excellent money that you did not and I can say with high confidence that you did not. ANYTHING is possible. Once you accept that anything is possible but you don’t have it, you will not get over this thing.

        • It is coincidental or you are imagining all of this stuff. Many people have come to my on this post worried they have HIV. Many of them I flat out told them that they did not get it from this encounter. I have not been wrong yet!

        • John

          I appreciate the reply. I was actually treated for anxiety years ago and have OCD tendencies so I’m probably thinking about it too much. Your confidence certainly helps to assuage my fears and I’ll skip on that test then and wait until one of those dates.

    • Joe

      Protected sex is protected if the condom was used correctly.
      there are nearly 700 women infected with HIV according to UNAIDS (2011). There are nearly 1.2 million prostitutes in korea with a population of 25 million people in seoul. Also, RLD people do not go bareback. Foreigners are NOT aloud to have HIV in the country so the HIV foreign rate is even lower. I read that only 33% of the prostitutes use condoms or something…(not sure). 25% of sexually active people in korea use condoms. I doubt you can get infected if you had sex with prostitutes who use condoms. Plus if they put it on without you guys even negotiating… they are probably safe.
      Tell me how the test went.

  126. fcoll

    I engaged in some risky behavior last night and I am very concerned and worried. I had sex with an older woman. I used a condom at first but then took it off. My penis was only inside her vagina for about two minutes without the condom on. Maybe less. I highly doubt that this woman had HIV. Still, I am worried. By the very rare chance that this woman did have HIV, what are the chances that I could have contracted it from her? I have read that it is much harder for a male to contract HIV from a female. Given the information I have presented and the fact that my penis was only inside her without the condom on for maybe two minutes maximum, does it seem likely that I would have contracted it? I highly doubt that she had HIV and she definitely was not an Intravenous drug user. She was an older woman and I don’t think she has sex very often. Also, I don’t live in a very large area. I live in a small town. I may sound crazy but I am very worried. Does anyone know any statistics about HIV contraction? I know that most people are just going to tell me to go get tested so I can stop worrying so much, but that wont ease my mind for now. Can someone please help me? Should I be this worried about this? I’m quite panicked over this. I am naturally a worried person and I have had this problem before. I’ve worried about things like this before. Is anyone educated in this type of thing? Please help if you can. It would really ease my mind. P.S- If i decide i want to get tested how long should I wait to make sure that it would show up if I did?

    • Have you ever been tested for HIV before?

      You did not catch HIV from this encounter. Even if she were HIV-positive, you had a 1/10,000 chance of getting it from her, but she isn’t HIV-positive, so no need to worry.

      If you really worry, wait 6 weeks and get tested.

      • fcoll

        Robert, I have never been tested for HIV. I have actually only had sex without a condom with two woman in my life. Your statistics are quite comforting at this point. This recent act only lasted all of two minutes. I am still slightly concerned but I find it to be mostly mental. I have a tendency to HIGHLY over analyze things. Especially about my health. I would still feel a great deal of comfort if I went and got tested. I have never been tested for anything. I was wondering if I should go to the local health department. Do they have a test that would test for everything including HIV? Or is the HIV test a different procedure? And, do you recommend that the test be done in six weeks to get an accurate HIV test result? Thank you Robert.

  127. sacin

    Hi Rob,
    I had sex with an escort woman in chicago and had protected anal and oral sex.But when I was doing vaginal my condom slipped out and within 20 seconds the woman made me realise it.I did not wash my penis but I just put on new one and continued.
    I really don’t want to get tested.Is there any possibility of getting STDs (hiv, Clady Mia, gonorrhea etc?
    It happened a week back and today there is itching and kinda my penis foreskin is blown

    Kindly suggest if I need to be concerned about this..

  128. John Foley

    Hi Robert.
    Based on all the commentary on this blog I guess I shouldn’t be worried but I still am. Here’s my story.
    I am a 31 year old uncircumcised male, heterosexual and non-drug user, born and raised and currently living on the west coast of Canada. My wife and I separated a few months ago. 17 days ago I got drunk and had one-time unprotected “traditional” sex with a female friend of mine. I pulled out and blew my load on her stomach.
    I dont know what her std status is because I didn’t bother to ask. What I do know is that she’s quite a skank and that has me worried. I’ve felt no ill effects since the event and from the looks of things I haven’t contracted herpes or anything that might show up soon after. I want to get tested now just to put my mind at ease but I dont know if a test this soon would be very accurate.

    • Have you ever had an HIV test before? Get an HIV test to get a baseline anyway. Wait 4 days and take the 3 week test.

      I must tell you that being uncircumsized puts you at risk of getting HIV. The risk may be up 7-8X as great if you not circumcised. Those studies are coming out of Africa where there is another HIV strain that spreads more heterosexually than this one, but still. Can one get circumcised late in life? I strongly urge you to get circumcised.

      • John Foley

        No I’ve never been tested before, I never had unprotected sex with anyone but my wife before this. I know my wife is clean because we had a child last year and they tested her for everything.
        So hypothetically, if my female friend that I had sex with does have hiv, because I’m uncircumcised my odds of catching it have gone from 1/300 to roughly 1/40? I’m starting to freak out a little more now.
        Also, as you can tell I’m new to this situation, what exactly do you mean by ‘baseline’? Is the 3 week test fairly accurate?

        • Baseline is an initial reading of any test.

          Your risk is 1/10,000. No idea what it is if you are uncircumcised, but it may well go up. It goes up in Africa a LOT, but that subtype over there spreads easily through vaginal sex.

          If you are going to keep on having sex outside your marriage, I would get cut if I were you. Also being uncircumcised ups your cancer risk.

          6 week test is the gold standard, but 3 week test ought to be just fine.

          Personally, I do not think you have it! I have told many guys who came to the site in the past that I predicted they did not have it, and I have not been wrong yet!

  129. John Foley

    Thanks Robert, I’ll consider getting cut but what happened was a one time deal, a total drunken accident. My wife and I are separated right now but if I get away with this clean, I’m gonna try way harder to make things work between us.
    I dont know if it makes any difference but both myself and my friend are caucasian western canadians. There is virtually no black, african, or almost any minority population in this area. I dont even know how many guys my friend has been with but I do know there has been at least a few within the past year. Thanks again.

    • Jairmey

      Yeah man mr Rob told me I didn’t have it from putting my dick in this black whore for 2 minutes and he was right. If ur really scared get an oraquick from the drug store I did 3 of them , all negative. One at 9 weeks one at 11 weeks and finally to conclude one at 3 months. Also Rob would you trust these mouth swabs? They are FDA approved and is it true people who have it will test positive much sooner than 3 months? Cuz I still have symptoms

  130. Randy

    My risk is that I made out with a woman about a year ago several times for long periods / deep French kissing. I don’t know if there was blood… But we both have bad gums. I’ve not had sex but with one woman in my life and We are monogomus. Her results were negative over the summer. I haven’t been tested in awhile…. But my only risk factor was making out with a woman that I shouldn’t have several times….I am looking at an Oraquick test I purchased right now. I’m scared that if my risk factor is small and I have a false positive I will lose it. with the things I’ve told you what are the chances of me testing negative on an Oraquick home test and putting this risk behind me. I want some peace.

    Am at at risk of having HIV from the makeout exposures?

  131. Sean

    Robert,
    Sorry to be another straight male to bombard you with questions, but this is undoubtedly not a story you have heard by now. I had unprotected, vaginal sex with a girl who was 5 months pregnant AND had ovarian cancer. I did not use a condom because my idiotic thinking told me – “Can’t get her pregnant twice, right?”. I know nothing of the man who got her pregnant, and I kinda started to freak out. Assuming she is not lying, which I truly believe she is not, she was tested for STD’s by her doctor 1 month ago, and came back clean on everything. So, I know I’m probably just freaking out here – but what are the chances that after 4 months she did not begin to produce the HIV antibodies, came back with a false negative test, and then passed it to me after 1 time of unprotected vaginal sex? There seems to be some doctors and scientists who believe that you can provide a false negative test after 3 months even, and being on anti-cancer med’s could aid in it, seeing as how the persons immune system may already be suppressed. It’s probably about the same as getting struck by lightning twice, eh?

    • Statistically, anything is possible. She could have given it to you from one vaginal sex episode. She may have HIV although I really doubt it. She could possibly have HIV even with a 4 month negative test. However, statistics is an odds game, and as such, I am willing to bet with 100% certainty that you do not have HIV. You simply did not get it from this woman.

      But what is preventing you from getting your own HIV test.?

      • Sean

        Not a thing – I plan on it once I hit the 13 week mark. And then if it is negative, again at 26. So, I have 10 weeks to wait. I have a small rash on my left hand, and that has kinda added to my anxiety, but that is the only “symptom” – no sore throat, no fever, no swollen glands, nothing… the rash could be from anything I touched and had a bad reaction to – new soap at work, I stack firewood frequently and the bark is known to grow poison ivy, whatever. I hear that an early HIV rash rarely appears on the hand, and does not itch. Also I would think that it would be accompanied by other flu like symptoms, no?

  132. Sean

    No, I have not. Should I see my doctor, or go to a free clinic of some sort? Also some word on my “symptom” would be reassuring. Thanks in advance.

  133. John Foley

    Hi Robert I’m back for an update. I have great news, I went to the clinic today for the HIV test and it was negative. What a relief!
    Thank you for helping put my mind at some ease at least, that might’ve been the only thing that kept me sane through this. Despite your reassurance I was very scared today, what an amazing feeling it was to be confirmed healthy.
    Thanks again.

  134. Sean

    Awesome news John, glad to hear it. Robert, are you certain I would need to test only after 6 weeks? I’m sorry, should have read previous posts. The way I see it, I should wait 3 months to be absolutely sure. But I have not researched this nearly as much as you. And in the meantime, I’m worried. A longer wait is going to mean more anxiety. The rash on my hand but absence of any other “flu” like symptoms is a good thing, correct? I sure as fuck hope so. I swear, if I make it through this clean and clear, I’m never not wearing a condom again, unless it is with a damned fiancée, AFTER she has been tested as well. Not worth the risk, not worth scaring myself half to death….

  135. Sean

    I should add this last one was only the second woman I have ever had unprotected sex with in my entire life. And the first was well over 5 years ago… she has gone on to start a family and I am 99% sure she is perfectly healthy. Okay, I’ll shut up now.

  136. Sean

    6 weeks it is, then. Thank you so much for your advice. It has helped calm me down tremendously. Today I was pretty much anxiety free.

  137. Joseph

    After a long day of drinking and doing drugs I had sex with a hooker wearing a cobdom. She was on top and I did not cum and started to get soft so stopped. When she got off me the condom was not on me. She reached down and removed it from her vagina without having to dig.

    I am terrified that I have HIV
    now especially after the guy who posted here claiming he was infected after a one time exposure. I felt very sick the next day but that was probably from withdrawal and lack of sleep.

  138. Joseph

    What about the gentlemen who posted here stating that he was infected from one exposure? Or even this guy

    http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Q199154.html?ic=2003

  139. Joseph

    I am just very terrified to get tested. The condom didn’t break but it came off when she got off of me. I think it was on up until she got off me but I can’t be sure but she didn’t have to dig it out. She just reached out and removed from her vagina. She says she’s sure she doesn’t have HIV but she’s a hooker they lie. I had been tested before this event and was negative.

    • When did this event occur?

      • Joseph

        3 years ago and I’ve remained abstinent since then out of fear that I have HIV but I’m afraid to get tested. I didn’t ejaculate and the condom was intact she was riding me for like 10 minutes and when she got off I didn’t hold onto the condom bottom so it slipped off and was still in her vagina but must have been hanging out of her vagina because I said oh my god where’s the condom and she was standing up and reached down and pulled it right out

        • 3 years!? Look man, you simply do not have it. Just bite the bullet and go get tested. Also you might want to look into therapy for this anxiety you have. It is simply not normal to have this level of anxiety.

        • Joseph

          Rob I contacted the escort as a potential client and asked if she knew her status and she responded saying she had been in jail for 6 months until recently and had tested negative while encarcerated. Do you think an escort would make up a story like that?

        • Probably a real story. Anyway, most US escorts do not have it.

      • Joseph

        I have on and off terrible anxiety for years about this one time event in fear that I have HIV now. I’ve seen ads and the hooker is still in the business

        • Joseph

          I agree that it is not healthy and something needs to be done about it

          Are you saying that I should get tested only to convince myself but not because the event I’ve described warrants a test?

          I was in her vagina for 10 minutes with a condom at least for some of that time if not the entire time until she got up from on top of me. She was not at all worried when this happened and insisted the condom was at her vaginas lips.

        • You did not catch HIV from this incident. However, you need to be tested for your own peace of mind.

        • Joseph

          Your responses and knowledge of this topic are a major help to those of us who are in fear that we’ve been infected.

          I have been freaking out about this for the last 3 weeks. I still think I have it but I am afraid to test.

          It really was only a one time event and the condom likely came off at the end when she got off me because I didn’t have time to hold on to the base. I was not that soft so I can’t really imagine how the condom could have come off other then at the end because she was on top of me riding me. The movement was like up and down in and out that would pull the condom off like when she got up. She also didn’t have to dig for the condom in her vagina she just pulled it right out and thought nothing of it. She was standing up when she did it too so it couldn’t have been pushed up in there.

          Fuck man I am scared.

  140. Jonny

    Robert,

    I finally got the courage to post on your blog after reading it for a few days.
    Up until now I was just scouring the internet for situations similar to mine and apply them to myself. The hard part is that most sites I visit just ended scaring me even more. However, this blog seems to put me at ease.

    Anyhow, here is my story: About 4 and a half months ago I visited a prostitute/escort for a “massage”. During the encounter however she had me go inside of her. I wasn’t expecting more than the usual rub and tug and was surprised but stupidly enough I went for it (unprotected). Had intercourse for about 2 minutes before I pulled out. Got to the bathroom and scrubbed my area with water and hand soap.

    The woman was in her late 30′s, black, and I am 100% sure she smokes pot. In the western US. After freaking out for a few weeks I took a test at 10 weeks and came back negative.

    Here is the kicker, I do not know how I rationalized this, but I went back to the same girl a few days ago. This time though I stopped a lot sooner after I began to think about what I went through last time. Only about the top 20% of my penis was inside for about 10 seconds (unprotected). Afterwards I immediately showered and tried to get my area clean.

    What do you think my chances are on being infected this time? I am trying not to panic as much as I did last time. I do not know why I got myself into this situation again.

    Thank you for creating this blog and any help you might have for me.

  141. Sean

    Robert, got blood taken for testing 2 days ago, at the official 6 week mark. Should have results in a few days. Man, this wait is freakin’ killing me. though. On the plus side, the girl I had sex with has told me that because of her pregnancy, she gets routine blood work all the time. She claims she has come back HIV negative in January, February, March AND now in April. I’ve known her for a decade, and she is not the type to make up stories. I trust her. And I just don’t see her doctor’s letting HIV go unnoticed in a pregnancy. Still, I’m an anxious person. In a situation like this, my mind plays tricks on me – why the rash on my hands? Is that redness on my neck another rash, or just razor burn from using a week old blade? Am I experiencing aches and pains from everyday life, or is something else going on? You get the picture. I suppose my only question is – providing my results come back negative, should I stop worrying and get on with my life, or test out again at 12 weeks? Thanks in advance, thanks for all your help.

  142. niroj

    dear sir, i had sex with sex worker but condom is break i ask her she said she is fine but i dont believe ,doctor prescribe me PEP ,i m so nerves plz help me from nepal

  143. niroj

    that was happen in 15 april

    • You may have gotten HIV but I sort of doubt it. Wait three weeks and get an HIV test or wait 6 weeks and get a better one.

      • Joseph

        Rob are you saying he “may” have gotten it as opposed your usual “no” red pose because the event took place in Nepal and not the U.S? Just curious.

      • niroj

        sir, what are the odd ? in single encounter

        • I have no idea in that part of the world, probably pretty low.

        • Joseph

          Maybe an increase in unprotected heterosexual anal sex?

        • No there is another HIV subtype over there that goes heterosexually more easily and there may be some other stuff going on too.

        • Joseph

          Interesting. Why isn’t that subtype found in places like the United States?

          In any case, that guy’s chances of having been infected from a single encounter even if his partner had HIV is probably no hire than 1 in 500

        • Joseph

          Rob, some “other stuff” like what? Just curious what factors influence some of the statistics.

        • I am not sure, but in Thailand at least, the men were not using condoms. Condom use brought it down to near zero. Also the women were having sex with so many guys as prostitutes that they were bleeding when they had sex as they did not lubricate anymore. With the women bleeding during sex like that, the virus was transmitting easier.

          Other forms of VD may be more prevalent over such as ulcerating forms which can indeed spread the virus more easily.

          Look Joseph, do you have a recent HIV test or not? Obviously you are very anxious about this.

        • Joseph

          No, I’m not the one who had an event on that side of the world. I was just curious about the facts.

  144. akbar

    had sex with sex worker (vaginal sex only) in india but condom was split and unfortunately i ejacuted in her vagina i dont know her status. Doctor advice me to take Pep.and i m sure that i don’t have any open sore in my penis and no blood on her vagina , after one week we meet again and we go together for test ,her hiv test was negative , now what are my chance to get HIV even she is in window period

  145. akbar

    14 april 2014

  146. Hi there, I do not think you have it, but I suppose anything is possible. Likelihood is quite low.

  147. akbar

    is there any odd (probability) if she is in window period then ?

  148. akbar

    she took test 10 days after i had sex with her

  149. John

    Hello Robert. I have some concerns I’d like you to address. I’m a heterosexual American male and I have had sex with about 6 prostitutes in Laos (Lao People’s Democratic Republic) During 2 of those encounters I did not wear condoms. The first encounter was with a prostitute from Vietnam, at first I was wearing a condom but I removed it after she performed oral sex on me and there were no more condoms, so I continued and finished up with her. My second encounter was with a Lao woman who said she gets tested regularly and that she doesn’t have any diseases.

    It’s been almost 3 weeks since I had sex with the Vietnamese hooker and I feel fine except my penis and testes are a bit warmer/hotter than usual. I had sex with the Lao woman last night exactly.

    Do you know any HIV statistics about Vietnamese women and HIV in Asia? Are the strains very different?

    Please do us all a favor and expand your research to Asia and not just the USA.

    I’m feeling a bit stressed.

    • Hi there, I know nothing about strains in Laos and Vietnam, but let me tell you flat out that the HIV scene in Thailand is just awful. There is a very nasty strain there that goes pretty easily female to male. Some guys say they have gotten it after only fucking a hooker one time without a condom, and I believe them. Now that the hookers are requiring condoms, the rate has gone down very very low. Condoms seem to be working great against female to male HIV spread in Thailand.

      Seeing how easy the Thai strain is transmitting female to male, I must say that you must stop having sex with these Lao and Viet whores without a condom! It must be seen as quite risky!

      The Lao woman does not have it but the Viet chick theoretically might.

      Have you ever been tested for HIV? Now that it has been 3 weeks after the encounter, why don’t you go get an HIV test?

      • John

        Nope, I’ve never been tested, but I will get tested as soon as I get back to the United States. Right now I feel completely fine healthwise, not experiencing any flu-like symptoms or any sort of abnormalities at the moment.

        I think after hearing this I might just quit having sex with whores. I must say I’m a bit frightened after hearing about this “nasty strain.”

        I live in CA, are there many free places to get tested if I don’t want to go to the doctor’s office?

        The Vietnamese woman was possibly an illegal immigrant to Laos as there are many Vietnamese here, although she looked rather young (about 22) and healthy. (although I know looks can deceive)

        • All free clinics will give you an HIV test for free.

          I recently got an HIV test along with a Hepatitis A and B test. I was negative for A and B, so I got the vaccines for A and B too. You might want to get those also.

          Yeah that Thai strain is NOT cool at all, that’s for sure.

      • Joe

        Hey, Just want to tell you guys that a some nasty strain being particular in a certain country is a myth. Also, Thailand was one of the worst due to it s sex trafficking but nowadays it is actually pretty safe. The government had set up this new program for safe sex, sex with condom, reducing the number of infections significantly. Condom protected sex is safe sex. According to medhelp (Dr. H’s), who are highly respected, if the condom was used properly then there is no risk of HIV. there is 1 in 2000 chance of getting infected from UNprotected sex with an HIV POSITIVE.
        – everything here are infos from medhelp-

  150. Wait until May 5, and then get tested.

  151. Roberto

    Hello There all,

    About 2 years ago, I believe I had protected sex with a stripper in NYC (she was of Domican descent, but her english was very good so it seems like she was American born or moved when she was very young). I was under the impression I would be only getting a covered blow job, but then she like physically hopped on me (it was dark), but it didn’t feel like vaginal penetration. I believe she just grinded on me with her vagina lips, this was about a 5 minute encounter.

    A year ago, I went to a AMP in NYC. I got a very brief uncovered blowjob (approx 2 minutes), and proceeded to have about 7 minutes of protected vaginal intercourse.

    About 2 months post the AMP visit. I started to get itching/burning in my urethra. I figured I must have caught herpes or something, I took an STD test which showed positive for HSV-1, but no test tells you if you have it genitally or oral. Also in the past year, I started to get folliculitis near pubic area. They start under a hair and would grow into little pus balls, that I would pop and go away quickly, didn’t hurt and I wouldn’t get scheduled to a doctor quick enough to swab them to see if it’s herpes or whatnot. I only started getting these after my AMP visit.

    I am recently getting over a cold where it accompanied a canker sore. I suffered from canker sores when I was very little but reading online says that canker sores are signs of HIV progression.

    I have made an appointment this week to do some rapid testing, but I also don’t want to spend $40 for oraquick to get tested quicker because I am pretty sure I am “low-risk” anyways. With those descriptions, it would be pretty unlikely (hell, even close to super improbable) I have it, but man does anxiety kill!

    • Jason

      I don’t think you should worry too much, it’s estimated that upwards of 50% (most likely higher) of sexually active people have HSV-1 (common cold sores). HSV-2 causes the genital STD. flare ups are caused by different triggers in different people and stress is one of them…

    • Roberto

      I got my Rapid Test Results back. Negative as expected. The 15 minute wait period though ticked ever so slowly. They brought me to the side and whispered the result to me. I felt my heart sink when I could sense it was gonna be privately whispered. I bet they get their cheap thrills like t hat!

      A huge wave of relief came over me, and I told myself I will engage in nice healthy monogamous sex (for now, let’s see how long it lasts)

  152. RJ

    Hi,
    I visited a massage parlour last June in UK. I had just gone for a massage.But the sex worker put a condom on me and was suddenly on top of me…But i didnt want to have sex, so i told her to stop…she was on top of me for hardly few seconds, hardly few strokes…The condom was on.I know that chance of hiv is very low, but still i feel scared sometimes. Do you think there is any chance of infection? Thanks

  153. John

    Hello Robert, it’s been almost 4 weeks after the Vietnamese whore (status unknown) and about a week since I smashed the Lao whore (told me she gets tested every month and has no diseases) and I have not experienced any symptoms or unpleasantness and I feel completely fine.

    What do you think my chances are? Do most people who get the Thai strain/HIV E strain experience unpleasant symptoms by this period? Did I get out of this one lucky?

    • Wait to more weeks and do not fuck any more of those whores without a condom – though the one who gets tested every month sounds like a good bet if you want to bareback.

      I haven’t the faintest idea about early symptoms with that strain. Most of that was spreading via Thai prostitutes who were fucking so many guys all day long that they were not getting wet anymore and were starting to bleed. The bleeding in the vagina is what was helping to spread it to guys. After all, this is a blood-borne illness.

  154. John

    So is the Thai strain prevalent in Vietnamese and Lao women? That’s one thing I was wondering about. I’m guessing no but I’m not sure. Is that a Thai specific strain or is it present in other places? I did some research and found that it was called the HIV E strain. Oh, and when I fucked that Vietnamese girl she was quite wet, and she seemed to enjoy it. Her pussy was not dry at all, so I don’t think she bled on me.

    About waiting two more weeks, you mean I could just feel fine up until this point but start to feel horrible and sick after 2 weeks? Man, I should have done my homework before barebacking a whore. Feels bad.

    • About waiting two more weeks, you mean I could just feel fine up until this point but start to feel horrible and sick after 2 weeks?

      It is not about that, more that although a 3 week test is great, a 6 week test is fantastic. So I am recommending that you get a 6 week test.

  155. John

    So I mean, if the vag is very wet and naturally lubricated does that lower the risk of HIV transmission? Just wondering to I can put my worries aside.

    • Well yeah of course!

      See in Thailand it was only going through whores and the whores were fucking so much they didn’t get turned on anymore and they were bleeding from getting fucked dry. Regular Thai women were hardly giving it to men at all. Guys were getting it from the whores and giving it to their wives. After the whores started going to condoms-only sex, transmission fell to a very low level.

      And in the famous Nancy Padian study where they followed HIV discordant couples five years through regular sex maybe 700-800X over 5 years, only 20% of the men got it from the women, and even among those that did, there was an association with incidents of vaginal and penile bleeding.

      One thing people need to remember about HIV. It is a blood-borne illness!

  156. John

    Hi again Robert. It’s been quite a while since I had these adventures and still no symptoms, no fever, no flu, no vomiting, no nothing.

    What do you think my chances are? I will get tested in 2 weeks anyways just to make sure though.

    • No, do not wait 2 weeks. Go and get tested now. Have you ever had an HIV test before? And read up on HIV transmission in Laos and Vietnam. I would say your chances of being positive are quite low.

  157. John

    Sorry, right now I am in Thailand and I am going to return to the USA on the 18th, so I don’t think I have time to get tested here in Thailand. I’ll get tested when I get back home. I was thinking of going on some sex adventures in Bangkok (I will definitely use a condom every time) because they are better at their job than Lao girls. Lao girls are horrible at sex (they usually just lay on their backs and don’t do anything), though Vietnamese girls are very good (maybe not as good as Thai girls in Bangkok)

    No I have never had an HIV test. Actually I’m only 21 years old and I’m not very sexually active so I never bothered.

  158. John

    Actually another question Robert, I want to fuck some Thai girls in the ass in Bangkok, do you think this will be a problem for me? Any extra precautions I should take?

    • Are you out of your mind?

      OTOH, if you are going to do something so crazy as fuck Thai whores in the ass in Bangkok, you absolutely need to use a condom every single time. If you use a condom, I think you will be ok, but without a condom, it can be risky. You are more likely to get HIV from fucking a woman in the ass than from fucking her in the pussy.

      • John

        Oh I didn’t mean I wasn’t going to use a condom, of course I’m gonna use one. I was just asking about other precautions, such as special types of condoms, or lube, or the sort. Anything I should be aware of..?

        I chuckled a bit at your comment. Is fucking Thai whores in the ass in Bangkok crazy? I’ve been looking at images and clips of westerners doing it since I was 13 years old but I haven’t done it yet, Now I’m 21 and after all these years of masturbating to pics of it on the internet I finally want to try it out myself. Can you really blame me?

        • How are you surviving running around SE Asia? Where are you staying? How do you get money? How do you move around? Are you alone or do you have a friend or friends with you?

  159. John

    I’m alone, staying in hotels and guesthouses. I travel by bus, train, taxi, motorbike, boat, and anything that is available to me. About money, I just use my debit/atm card with some cash I have saved up. I just have one bag with some clothes and a toothbrush and I avoid expensive hotels and settle for the crappy ones.

  160. Bob

    Robert,

    I have a question. I’ve been seeing a white girl from the US who lived in Thailand for 2 years teaching. We’ve been together for 4 months. She has an IUD and told me she slept with 15 people. A few men in Thailand.

    We’ve had unprotected vaginal sex about 80 times. Anal sex 2 times.

    What are my chances of getting HIV if she is +. To my knowledge she is not right now but I don’t know.

    You mention HIV in US is harder to get from women, but what if woman caught HIV in another country?

    Thanks.

    • Even if she has been HIV+ this whole time, there is still only a 2% chance that you got it. She really needs to get tested, and I would say that you do too. Have you ever had an HIV test?

  161. John

    Robert, sorry for asking so many questions, but here’s another one. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, and I am going to ask her to give me an HIV test, maybe also check for other diseases.

    I read up on HIV transmission in several countries and on certain cites it says transmission is mainly heterosexual. How is this possible? By this do they mean that it’s mostly men giving it to women? I also read on several websites that the highest concentration of HIV viral cells is in semen, followed by blood, and then vaginal fluids right?
    Can you get HIV from just exposure to vaginal fluids?

    What are the chances (in fractions/ratios/percentages) of getting HIV from one incident of vaginal sex with a woman of unknown status when there are no visible cuts/abrasions, no blood present, and her vagina is naturally wet? The CDC says the risk for insertive vaginal sex is about 2 in 10,000. I suppose this is reduced greatly since I have had no symptoms of sickness, there were no cuts or abrasions present, and the vagina was wet, also I’m circumcised and I took a piss shortly after the sex and I washed my dick right after in the shower. (I read that non-circumsised men are at greater risk because the virus can get caught under the foreskin and stay there)

    How can one even get HIV from vaginal sex with no cuts or abrasions? It would have to travel very far up the urethra in order to get into the bloodstream. Or are the cuts so small (microtears) that they are invisible to the naked eye?

    Anyways, taking my test tomorrow (I didn’t specify to the doctor that I was taking a test for STIs I just made an appointment with plans to tell them there, as there is no specific option for STI test when scheduling online)

    What is your verdict Robert?

    • Where does it say the disease is mainly going heterosexually?

      Answered the rest of your question in a new post.

      • John

        If you look at the transmission statistics for several Asian countries, it will say “heterosexual” is the main form of transmission. Laos, Thailand and Vietnam included. Which post by the way? I’m having trouble finding the post you’re talking about.

        Anyways, several of my friends from Southeast Asia say they barebacked prostitutes several years ago (10+ years ago) and nothing happened to them, and now they have families (a wife and kids) and they are showing no health problems. Not that I advocate barebacking whores because it seems risky (even if you don’t get HIV you can still get some other nasty disease or infection), but they were lucky.

        • John

          OK never mind, I think you meant the next post after this one. I read that one already.

        • Hi John, I want to answer these questions to you by email, ok, and the email you gave here is not working. Would you please email me (email on Contact page) and then I will answer your questions in private?

    • kevintotallydepressed

      rob,its me again..about 2 weeks ago…i banged this chick i meet just once, we were both drunk…unprotected, oral, vaginal…no anal…2 weeks after i felt sick, sneezing and a light sore throat…and today she was having a fever, sore throat and flu also…i don’t know her HIV status…what do you think are the odds? thanks again, rob. be waiting for your answer

  162. John

    OK, I sent you an e-mail

    • James

      Hi rob. I recently had unprotected sex for 3 minutes with an English girl who had been in Australia for 2 years. I live in Australia. After the sex my penis smelt kind of like fish and I devolved thrush over the next day. If she gave me thrush does this mean my chances of getting hiv increase. Also this girl I know has slept around a bit, but she seems healthy.

      • You got a Candida infection? I do not know if a yeast infection increases the risk of HIV. She probably doesn’t have HIV. Have you ever had an HIV test?

        • James

          Hey rob yeh I have had an hiv test before which was
          Negative 2 months ago. This is very first time I have had unprotected sex in my life. So you don’t know if yeast infection is an increase risk or not?

  163. espowyn

    So I have had unprotected sex with about three prostitutes here in Manila recently. I have but shown any symptoms a month asset each encounter and I am super healthy.

    My real question is: Have you read up on the strain of HIV going around in the Philippines? According to reports I’ve read, there’s an increase in HIV cases in the Philippines. I tend to attribute this though to the rise of BPO call centers and the thriving gay community in this line of work.

    Whats the word on Philippine prostitutes as well? I read in a comment you said Philippine prostitutes have a very low incidence if HIV.

    Any knowledge and sources on this would be appreciated, to help me ease my mind.

    Thanks

  164. Mike

    Robert. I had an HIV test and was negative. A month later I saw a hooker in Florida and fucked her with a condom for a few minutes. She was riding me and when we went to switch positions she got up and the condom wasn’t on me. I sort of freaked out and didn’t see the condom on the ground and she was standing there and she reached down and got the condom from her vagina. She didn’t have to dig for it, it was a quick removal. The sex ended there. Do you think it came off during sex or did it come off when she got off me because I didn’t hold it? I don’t really want to go get tested since I did right before this event. What are your thoughts on the risk?

      • Mike

        Thank you for responding. You were not there obviously (thankfully haha), but what are your thoughts on the condom slipping off? If the woman is on top riding, and it comes off, is it likely that it came off as she got off me if she was able to quickly remove it from her vagina? I’ve read some other posts that suggest that when a condom comes off during sex it isn’t very easy to remove from the vagina as opposed to when it comes off during withdraw (still safe sex) it’s hanging out a bit. Thoughts?

      • Mike

        Understood. So this event doesn’t warrant another HIV test?

  165. Nope, but you can always donate to the site if you wish. Donations are the only thing that keep it running.

    https://robertlindsay.wordpress.com/contribute/

  166. Joseph

    Finally bit the bullet and tested negative

  167. John

    Dear Robert,

    Do you know what the subtype is in South Korea?

  168. Dil

    Rob,
    Six days after 10 mins of unprotected sex with a girl only one of my lymph nodes has swollen up. We’re both white British though she has had sex with a black guy once before. I got tested for everything today but she said the results will be inconclusive until I test again after 6 weeks. She said the chances i have it are less than 1% but I am freaking out and would appreciate your thoughts.

  169. Nonelaz

    Hey Robert
    Great blog. Thanks for takin the time and breaking this down for us.
    About 7 months ago I had a unprotected one night stand with a white 22 year old female. No anal. Just vaginal. I got tested for chlamidya and gonarhea both came back neg. this is the only exposer I had since my last hiv test.
    Do you think I need to go get test for hiv or it’s not worth it for only this single exposure? Some people tell me there’s more chances of the test giving a false positive then me being positive. What do you think?
    I’m located in Canada and white also. This girl was a bar pick and also sorta panicked that we didn’t use protection.

    • You didn’t get HIV. Why get tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia? You get strong symptoms with both of those. With chlamydia, you get a clear discharge and a lot of burning on urination. With gonorrhea, you get a copious yellowish discharge and burning urination.

      No reason to get another HIV test unless you are dating women who demand one. You might want to get one a year or so. I have noticed lately that women want to see a recent HIV test before they have sex with me.

      • Nonelaz

        Thanks for the quick reply. I got the test for chlamidya and gon because I read online it’s what you should do after having unprotected sex with a stranger. Thanks for the advise.

        • No need to get those tests, that advice really makes no sense. If you have unprotected sex, you can always just look for signs of venereal disease:

          Gonorrhea and chlamydia symptoms listed above.

          Herpes: You will know when you have it. You can a rash with red bumps and sometimes pus filled heads that itches like Hell. The symptoms are painful and unmistakeable.

          Syphilis: You probably will not get it, but the symptom is a chancre or large painless sore.

          That is all you have to be concerned about.

          but one thing you need to do right now is run out and get that HPV vaccine! I mean it. In a couple of years, you will be too old for it, and believe me, you do need that vaccine.

          Also if you find the site helpful, feel free to make a donation. 🙂

          “https://robertlindsay.wordpress.com/contribute/

  170. Thirdeye

    I would add any anal unprotected sex, hetero or gay. Vaginas have built-in vascular protection and secrete cleansing, protective fluids. Anuses do not. Bloodstream contact is common with anal sex and the environment is inherently infectious. High HIV rates in Africa are driven by traditions of using anal sex as a form of birth control. It’s also a much higher risk practice for transmitting other STDs, especially hepatitis B.

    Ken Kesey once compared anal sex to putting crankcase oil in the power steering unit. You don’t refrain from it because it’s immoral, you refrain from it because it blows the seals. But then, blowing the seals could be seen as immoral……

  171. Gary King

    Hey Robert

    I have a huge fear of HIV that it makes me terrified sometimes after having sex because i think ” what if i have HIV and have gave her it ” etc.. its really making my life hell. I have a girlfriend who i have sex with regularly who i know does not have it, but when i was in Magaluf, Spain for a guys holiday last month i had sex with a black prostitute for about 5 seconds with a condom on, then she gave me a blowjob also with a condom on, what are my chances of having it from this experience?

  172. Hey Robert:

    I have been diagnosed with HSV-2. Had vaginal sex with a hooker in Vegas recently and the condom broke. I think I was only in her with it broken for a matter of seconds because I felt it break, at most a few minutes. I have had HSV-2 for a few years and take suppressants and rarely have outbreaks, none for several months. She did not seem to care it broke, put on another condom and finished. I know HSV-2 can increase HIV risk somewhat, don’t know her status. Should I be concerned? Thanks for your input.

    • I don’t think you got it. Even if she was HIV positive, the risk that you got it in this one encounter is very low.

      HSV-2 is extremely common. 16-20% of US adults already have it. You are correct that HSV-2 indeed increases the risk of HIV for a male in PIV sex with a female. However, you have to have a current outbreak. If you are not breaking out, there is no increased risk.

      In addition, I am sure this prostitute gets tested all the time for HIV. Maybe once a month. I do not believe there have been any HIV transmissions involving these prostitutes.

      I figure you don’t have it. Do you know your HIV status? When did this event occur?

      • Thanks for the reply. This was just two nights ago. I have been tested in the past and always negative but not since the incident. I have read it can double the risk at least but then I would be something like 1:1000 if she has HIV. Was going to just go to my GP to get tested for everything and could include HIV though it is too soon? Would PEP ever be a consideration? Seems like a lot to go thru if risk is low. Thanks.

        • Nope it would be 1:5,000 if she had it, and she doesn’t. Also you weren’t breaking out, so the figure does not apply.

          IMHO, you didn’t get HIV from this incident. But if you want to get tested anyway, wait 3-6 weeks.

  173. No outbreaks since started Acyclovir and they were always on right hip area and didn’t even know what it was for years. Thanks for recommendation on testing. I have read the risk goes up even without outbreaks but I guess 1:5000 isn’t much different than 1:10000 really. Thanks again.

  174. Andy

    I have always used condom for any vaginal sex but received 4 BJ’s last year without condom. Should i be worried about my protected encounters and 4 BJ’s without condom? Please advise.

  175. Andy

    Twice, First time around 10 yrs ago and second time around 3 yrs ago for hiv and all STD. But incidents (Protected encounters + 4 bare BJ’s) took place in last 3 years. My worry is even though i had protected encounters i am still worried and secondly having unprotected BJ’s is killing me.

  176. Al

    Okay so here’s my story, I saw multiple escorts throughout 2013 and part of 2014. I’m 19, heterosexual, NON drug user, and hate anal sex, never even tried it. I did sleep with about 18 women, but I always wore a condom no exceptions and always checked right after for any defects, luckily, nothing. Never saw her blood on my tip either. Around 3 weeks ago I vowed never to see those girls again. I’ve NEVER had a single symptom, but for some reason I developed an extremely strong paranoia thinking I caught HIV, I got tested yesterday Monday and now await the results. How high or low do you think my risk is?

      • John

        How easy is it to get herpes from making out with a prostitute?

        • John

          I thought it was easy to get oral herpes from kissing?

        • ROBERT Herpes and genital warts are EXTREMELY easy to get from a woman because I contracted genital warts when I was young with a woman simply because my unprotected junk rubbed up against the crack in her ass as I was putting the condom on.

          From experience I will tell you that if the HEAD of your PENIS COMES INTO CONTACT WITH THE PERINEUM OF A WOMAN YOU WILL GET IT.

          I had it burned off in a dermatologist clinic with dry ice AND BELIEVE ME THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL THING MOST DUDES WILL EXPERIENCE AND IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO ACTUALLY GET RID OF GENITAL WARTS.

          I TOLD THE DERM DOCTOR I USED A TOWEL IN A PUBLIC GYM AND OF COURSE HE HEARS THESE LIES FROM EVERY DUDE WHO CATCHES SOMETHING.

          An infected male has to penetrate a female to give these to her but if the female has them the warts and herpes run from her clitoris up to the back of her anus.

          Trust me, the MEREST CONTACT with an unprotected penis and the area between the pubic bone and anus of an infected woman for 3 SECONDS will guarantee WARTS or HERPES.

        • Jason Y

          I got that disease where it’s painful to pee in the Phillippines. 😆

      • Al

        Why is it that I’m so paranoid? It was risky seeing prostitutes but always used protection. I really need help, keep thinking I contracted the worst thing which is HIV

        • If you used condoms like you said, you didn’t get HIV. Relax.

          You’ll soon get the results. No point worrying now. Do something to distract yourself, watch a movie.

        • and maybe if it makes you worry this much, knock it on the head. Quit it.

        • Al

          Well thank you for the reassurance, and as I mentioned above, I have since stopped. Hopefully I get my results tomorrow and am hoping for the very best

        • pots

          If you used condoms then expect a negative results.

        • AL

          During an encounter with a female prostitute in my early twenties my junk briefly rubbed up against the area between her anus and her vagina…instantly I caught a case of Genital Warts.

          Having it burned off by a Dermatologist WITH DRY ICE was painful and of course you tell the doctor you used a towel in a public gym and he laughs at your excuse.

          Herpes is contracted the same way and is far worse.

          I should add that with the average woman it is difficult to see a tiny blister in the pubic hair from her anus to the opening of her vagina but once you catch the disease you have a visible oozing sore on your penis that is painful when you walk around.

  177. Pingback: Traffic Report on Robert Lindsay | Beyond Highbrow - Robert Lindsay

  178. Joseph

    Hey rob, I recently had oral and unprotected sex (vaginal) , with a sex worker, what are my chances of transmission for hiv. I never came inside of her..

  179. fred

    Hey robert, I had sex the firts time 3 months ago, but it was with a latin sex worker. The type of sex was oral and vaginal, but a condom was used. I have been scared for months and I have a sore throat now, what are the chances of me getting infected.

  180. ronan

    hello robert i never had sex outside my marriage…but this event that has shattered me happened few months back…i met a CSW and gave her lift in my car. I kissed her once and touched her privates. then i masturbated using my same hands with which i touched her privates, Last few months have been very diffuclt for me. Feel like iam gonna die of HIV. Have been put on anti-anxiety drugs. There was no sex (oral, vaginal or anal). Can my hands transmit something to my penis?….worried. I am a straight man in a monogamous relationship with my wife only

  181. ronan

    there is one more thing sir…u have written here about the strains…i am from india..also i have heard that the virus does not live outside the body..it dies immediatly. So infection has to take place inside the body..is it right?

  182. Pau

    Hi Rob, I’ve found this blog really interesting and reassuring. I’m really having a hard time dealing with this hiv anxiety. I feel embarassed for my stupid actions: here’s the thing, I’m a 30 y.o woman from Argentina, I had a few (4 aprox) unprotected (vaginal) encounters (NO ejaculation) with a man I met at work a couple of months ago. He is definitely not an IV drug user, he’ s never had sex with men (or so he says), he seems pretty normal/average 41 year old man. What are my odds? I’m going to get tested but I’m afraid Im gonna have to wait for at least two months and anxiety is killing me! Thanks in advance!

  183. fred

    Hey Robert, I knew you told me that I didn’t get this virus from a protected encounter with csw, but I took a test anyway to ease my mind, and I am happy to report that it came back NEGATIVE.

  184. Walt

    Robert,

    I have a question. Recently I had a night where I had a little too much to drink and engaged in intercourse with a sex worker in Seoul, South Korea. Since then, not only do I feel awful about what I did because I feel it’s dirty and wrong, but I am very very anxious about any possible STDs or HIV. She put a condom on for both oral and vaginal sex, and by all accounts it didn’t seem to break or antthing. However, we did switch condoms once because I had to urinate, and I touched the first condom myself. It didn’t last all that long. She also mentioned that many of her customers tended to be from the nearby military base (not sure if that has to do with anything). Anyway, I’m wondering if you could shed your expertise on this situation. Do I need to be tested? I had a health check 2 days after and everything came back clean but I know that’s probably too soon. Thanks.

    • No need to get checked for anything.

      • Walt

        You can say that with absolute certainty? I noticed one or two red dots and had what appeared to be like blue stretch marks down in that area that I’d never noticed before and hadn’t gained weight or anything.

        • Yep you cannot possibly catch anything via what you described.

        • Walt

          I know that you said not to worry when I contacted you a week ago. However, since the encounter, I felt something like a dull but lasting pain in my testicle area/around my butt. I cannot tell if it’s some kind of indigestion or stomach thing or something more serious. Also today I noticed that some of my public hair on one side seemed to be orangish and felt different and am FREAKING OUT. I’ve never seen anything like it before. What could possibly cause this, and could I caught something? Could this newfound discovery had an increased affect on my ability to catch anything else?

          Thanks

        • The only disease you could have caught from that encounter is Herpes.

        • Walt

          So do you make anything of this orange-ish rough pubic hair? Should I see a doctor?

  185. Sure go ahead. The symptom makes no sense to me.

  186. xb0

    Hi Robert,

    I had a momentary lapse of judgement. I saw an escort in florida, she was on her back and I slid into her vagina for no more then 1 minute before I came to my senses. She was an older woman and her vagina was not very wet at all. I went to my car where I found a condom, went back inside and finished with a condom. I do not know her status but being an escort I would assume high risk. What do you think my chances of getting hiv are from this one time very short enounter? It has been 8 months since the incident and I just now am starting to get heavy anxiety about it. Please elaborate on not just my chances but other things I would’ve most likely experienced after this amount of time. I’m scared to get a test because my life will be over mentally.

    • xb0

      Robert, I’m very curious as to why you have completely neglected my question? I see others wrote after me and received some sort of response. Really would like your insight

      • Sorry forgot to answer your question. You did not get HIV from this encounter is how I see it. Nevertheless, have you ever been tested for HIV?

        • xb0

          No I have never been tested. I know that I have to, but I’m just so scared of the what the results will say. I know the female to male transmission rate is very low but risk is risk and im freaking out.

  187. John

    Robert can you provide some links on where to download or view academic journals or other material about this topic? Since you said you read a lot about it I would also like to read.

      • john rambo

        Rob

        Need your advice i started dating this woman a month ago. Kind of love at first sight. After a week we started having unprotected sex and during one of our encounters she had her period. Normally i wouldnt even be on this thread but she advised me a week ago she used to be a stripper up until 2 months ago. Now i dont see any evidence of her using intrav drug use so im quite confident in saying she is a sober person. Heres the part that concerns me a couple of days ago she got extremely sick and dr said its pneumonia but he tested for tb as well. Tb test came back negative. I know my status is negative cause i get tested after i broke up w my ex several months ago. But between her past the unprotected sex and the pneumonia/tb im kind of freaking out

        • Why don’t you tell her to go get an HIV test. It is very hard for a woman to give this virus to a man, but if she is going to give it to a man, it will be in the course of a long-term relationship via hundreds of sex acts.

        • john rambo

          Hi rob

          Its been 80 days since the possible above exposure took the oraquick home test which is the swabing of the gums and results were negative. Do you think i am in the clear being i was short of the 90 day mark by 10 days. Or should i continue to worry? Fyi im relieved but would still like your opinion ive read on other sites that anything after 50 days is really conclusive but because cdc recommends 90 the doctors have to say 90

        • Yes I do not think you have it. Just take the 80 day test and give it a rest.

          If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site. Donations are the only thing that keep the site operating.

  188. Hi Robert! Wonderful blog. Not terribly paranoid, but just wanted to bounce a story off of you. In late 2001, I had sex with two prostitutes within about a month of each other. The first one was a white female. I received unprotected oral, but had protected vaginal. Came inside. To the best of my knowledge, the rubber was intact when removed. Second incident was with another white female.(Both prostitutes were American) Received protected oral and had protected vaginal…once again, came inside and the condom appeared to be intact when I removed it. Also, I never got any flu-like symptoms afterwords with either encounter….13 years ago. I have seen a lot of hype about how HIV can be in the asymptomatic stage for up to 20 years and not all HIV+ people exhibit flu like symptoms in the initial stage. Is that all a crock? And do you roughly know how many non-progressors can actually go 13+ years without any classic symptoms without HIV/AIDS supressents? I don’t feel like I’m at great risk, but I haven’t seen any posts on this thread about very long term situations like the one I’ve experienced. Since those two incidents, I’ve had sex with only one partner. Never anal with anyone. Just not my thing. I know you are going to tell me to get tested, so I’m cool with that…but only if you think that I’m at any significant risk. Thanks for listening and looking forward to your insight.

    • Well of course you do not have HIV and of course you would have had significant symptoms by now but why don’t you go and get an HIV test anyway?

      • A little nervous about it, but I think I shall. Thank you for your prompt reply. I haven’t been losin’ any sleep over it….but you you know how it is…the things you do in the past creep up on you and start playing games with your head. Aside from HIV, you know what else has a long latency time? Regret. This is the first site I found that provides so much insight to the myths. My only physical ailment at the moment is a strained rhomboid muscle from bad posture and one too many roller coaster rides! LOL….take care and keep on keepin’ on. You sound like an extremely intelligent fellow.

        • Thank you very much! Yes I am really getting tired of all of these myths, or lies, about HIV. All of it is flat out political, and it is all coming out of the Gay Lobby.

          If you think this website was valuable to you, consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site. Donations are the only thing that keep the site operating.

        • Took Test: Negative. Incident was so long ago that I am satisfied with results. No need to retest. Scariest f’n thing I’ve ever done. But thanks to you, I manned up after 13 years. Now I think I’ll go sit somewhere quietly and die of a heart-attack. Hell, it beats Kaposi Sarcoma. Peace!

  189. I’m not sure where the propaganda started…Gay Lobby, Liberals, Conservatives….don’t care. Only interested in facts. Even the CDC (who I trust about as much as a greyhound with a live rabbit) gives me a 1/2500 chance of contracting HIV from a positive partner…so even if there was a tear in the condom, I’m not terribly concerned. Plus, I’m circumcised since birth. Don’t know how much validity there is to the claim that it lessens the chance of transmission, but the idea appears to be sound.

    These days, the only side I’m on is my side. Either way, once again I thank you. I dropped off a little something in the donation box. Wish it could be more, but money is tight at the moment.

    All the best!

  190. Bill

    Robert I had vaginal sex with a hispanic girl in Vegas about 3 weeks ago. My condom came off sometime during sex but I could not have been without the condom for more than 30 secs. She was a married women with 3 kids. Very clean and very attractive. About a week after the event I had oral thrush. I had also been on 1200Mg of Clndamycin and the 13 day cycle ended the day before oral thrush showed up on my tongue. I also had a small pimple like break out on my back with a small rash. A little nausea but I think a lot of this is anxiety from worried about HIV. I’m thinking these symptoms are all from the antibiotic but the symptoms from the antibiotic are identical to HIV Symptom. I am heterosexual male no drugs and only one partner outside of this event in 14 years. I’m waiting on RNA test results to come back. I did an Oraquick test at 13 days and it was negative. Like most everyone that post here the anxiety is klling me. I wanted to post my story to help with others. Once I have my results I will post them. I am from Oklahoma the girl was from Texas. What are your thoughts. I need a vote of confindence of a dose of reality.

  191. Bill

    Not since military days 15 years ago. I did the Oraquick test at about 13 or 13 days and it was negative.

    • Bill

      Are the acute/seroconversion symptoms mild or are they severe? I forgot I had very bad direaha x 1 day. Last post from me and I will making a donation. Thanks for the quick response.

      • They are often pretty severe. If you got it, you should be coming down with “the worst flu you ever had,” right about now, and after that, there are some other rather nasty symptoms.

        Thank you very much for your support, Bill!

  192. Chandrick Rodgers

    Dear Robert,
    On August 11,2014 I had unprotected sex with a 19 yrd old black girl, it didnt last long maybe 10 to 20 min, about three weeks later I was talking with some friends of mines and her name popped up said she hiv every since then ive been worring about getting tested been having no symptoms just diarrhea off and on welts that comes and go please help me out.

    • Have you ever been tested before? Has it been confirmed that she has HIV? It would be quite hard for you to get HIV from her from one sex act, but I guess it’s possible. I do find the diarrhea and welts a bit worrying. Do you have Herpes? Was there bleeding on the part of you or her during sex?

      • Bill

        Just got my results back 10 minutes ago from an RNA test. Negative for HIV! Thank God!

        I wanted to pass along my symptoms because I was somewhat convinced that I had contracted HIV.

        Off and on Headaches
        Rash on back
        Rash on forehead
        Slight soreness in lymph node in neck.
        Nasuea
        Inconsistent stools (hard then diarrhea)
        Tired, very tired by afternoon
        Sore throat
        Oral Thrush in mouth
        Cold sore on lip
        I think most of my issues was from a cycle of Clindmaycin 300MG for 14 days every 6 hours. But these symptoms happen to start 2 weeks after heterosexual sex with 41 yr old Hispanic women. What scared me more I found out she was from A Texas border town with Mexico and STD and HIV are higher in her community. Anyway I want to share my results and my story.

  193. Tyler

    Hi Robert, I have had unprotected sex with a lot of women but all under the age of 21 and from a small town in Michigan. Only one encounter scares me which happened about a year or two ago with a girl on her period, I never ejaculate inside girls as well. I don’t recall being overly sick, just normal sickness in the winter months. I never worried about it till a few weeks ago, I randomly started thinking about stds and the risks. I have been driving myself crazy but I’m just really scared to get tested.

    • Great.

      Well you have been screwing all these chicks in one small White town in Michigan, you didn’t even get one of the quite common lesser STD’s, and now you are worried about HIV? Makes no sense. Obviously you have been getting away with what you are doing.

      Have you had an HIV test?

      • Tyler

        No I haven’t, and I see your point. I just get obessed with an idea and can’t help but thinking the worst. Going to see a doctor soon. Thanks for the response

      • Tyler

        I forgot to mention that I recently have been getting red spots in my pubic area that come and go within days. They itch at times but never really bother me that much. Curious on what you think

      • Tyler

        I just got done at the doctor and he told me it doesn’t look like I have herpes. He urine tested me and told me everything should come out fine. He lastly mentioned that if I wanted to get blood tested that I should go someplace that will do it for less money. I feel pretty relieved but will more than likely get blood tested soon.

  194. Johnathon

    Hey Robert, I had drunken sex with a stranger in Vancouver over a year ago now and I haven’t worried about it since until I started becoming very anxious. I am 23 and I picked her up at a bar. I remember she was older than me and we didn’t use protection. She didn’t look like a drug user but you never really know. She was white and said she had kids. we had vaginal sex for maybe 5-10 minutes but I was so drunk I didn’t ejaculate. I am absolutely freaking out at the moment and I am going to get tested tomorrow which has me even more worried. I have never been tested before but that has been the only time I have unprotected. I have had no real symptoms except for ones that could be for any sickness. What risk am I under? and should I be this worried? Thanks for your help in advance. This website has helped me a lot over the past few weeks.

  195. Johnathon

    Thanks for your quick reply. I have hundreds of millions of questions but there is no point in bothering you with them. I just have to get tested and that is that. Thanks for the relieving words

  196. Johnathon

    Update. As of two hours ago, I received my results back from the doc. It was an all clear and I am very relieved. I will not be as stupid again. He told me to cut back on my drinking but as an Irish person, I think we all have that health problem. Thanks for the help Robert and chin up to everybody else. I had diagnosed myself for weeks but it was my own stupid decision and I was prepared to face the consequences and just because I got the all clear doesn’t make me feel any less guilty for what happened but I will move on with my life. Good luck.

  197. Lucas

    Hi Robert,

    First I would like to congratulate the initiative, it helped me relax, thank you for information. I would like to apologize to for giving so much information.
    I am fully heterosexual, 24 years old and live in Brazil, the state I live is one where the rates of HIV are low for my country (44 cases per 100.000 people)
    only God knows the anxiety and torture I have been passing since last sunday when a friend of mine told me that he knows a guy who passed like ten years without HIV/AIDS Symptons when he discover he got it from his mother (by birth).
    It got me cracking up my head, because I started to think about some mistakes I did in the past and it was because I did not know how HIV works (thought that the signs of it was pretty visible), when I had about 3 relationships (all vaginal intercouse) without condom, the most during one was the first (4 months of relation- 3 years ago- fatty girl aparently fine and 26 year old), the second one was with a woman of good economic class who was married the last 15 years and has two healthy children (1 month of relation- 2 years ago- fatty girl also and 32 years old and had anal sex with her two times), the third one was a girl with a doubt past and have two healthy children(2 months of relation- 1,5 years ago- kind of muscle girl, 26 years old and we had sex like 5 times and she bj untill i cum guess in three of these five). Other mistakes I did was like three times happened to me to insert the pennis without condom in the vagina of three unknown girls, did not finalize it, got a condom right way and let’s suppost that the most during one was 5 minutes… And it has been like 2,5 years….
    I engaged a relationship with a Girl eight months ago and we started doing sex with no condoms one month later she even asked me to do some blood tests before relation with no condom, but I did not do it for fear of needles. Not me or Her had sex with other person from the start untill now. My actual girlfriend had 3 boyfriends before, and I believe shes was no HIV.
    The problem is that since started reading about the efects of HIV, I can’t stop touch my body and search for signs of it and I could not focus in nothing more this week. Found some signs which I prefer to think are caused by other things:
    -Got a white layer on my tongue, not much visible, could be fail on bucal clean;
    -I like to sleep, I have a full day everyday could be weakness of it;
    -Got a smallest finger nail fungus on my left hand since 3 years ago and only now I am treating it;
    -I always had these lumps (not too much) on my back or face and when I squeeze, it gets a little bigger and gets out of it a transparent liguid or a blank mass an goes away in few days.
    -I have daily sneezes, but I am pretty alergic to a lot of things, even some Traditional foods.
    Also I do not remember last time since I had a fever, guess it was middle last year.
    When I read the more about it, more i get scared, and it is not for my part but also because if I have that HIV shit, the devastation it would be for my girl, me and family.
    If you could please tell me what do you think about it, I would appreciate so much.

  198. Rich

    Dear Robert,

    Very interesting read and I was hoping to get you opinion.

    On Dec 19th I had sex with a prostitute in a massage parlour in Tokyo, Japan. I am unsure of her status.

    We had sex for about twenty minutes but about two minutes before I ejaculated I believe the condom broke. When I withdrew I found the condom had torn and was at the base of my penis.

    The woman did not seem too concerned. She cleaned me off with tissue first and five minutes later took me to the shower and washed me thoroughly, including cleaning my penis. Except for the two minutes or so the condom was on for everything.

    I am not sure how often women are tested in Japan and I forgot in my infinite wisdom to ask her. Next week I will go to get checked for studs and the following weekI will get tested at the four week mark.

    What do you think the chances are that I have gotten HIV?

    I would really appreciate your input as it has been weighing on my mind.

  199. Rich

    Thanks for your swift reply Robert.

    Yes I was tested about 6 months ago and was negative. I have been actively practicing safe sex.

    Do you think 4 weeks will be enough to get a basic idea as to whether I am negative or not? I will retest at 12 just to be sure anyway.

  200. Lisa

    The hierarchy of main risks is:

    IV drug usage with shared needles – applies to everyone.
    Unprotected anal sex recipient -applies to everyone.
    Unprotected vaginal sex recipient – applies to women.
    Unprotected anal sex giver – applies to males.
    Unprotected vaginal sex giver -applies to males.

    Low to extremely low risks with vagina/penis oral sex.

    The reason why HIV spread so fast and so widely within the gay community in the west was, rather obviously, anal sex, but also a significant sub-section of them were also recreational to regular IV drug users too sharing needles. So, for them it was a double whammy.

    The later high rates of HIV infection in females in certain parts of Africa were also caused by a combination of factors. One was high rates of anal sex (the easiest form of contraception), the other, in some societies, was the use by females of methods to ‘dry out’ their vaginas, which increased abrasions and also disturbed the normal vaginal methods of infection killing. Adding in multiple use of needles for drugs, immunizations, etc was just icing on the cake.

    The case study comparing Edinburgh and (from memory) Liverpool was instructive. In Edinburgh the police had a hard policy on needles. If you were caught with one then you were charged with drug usage, hence people shared needles. Liverpool had a medically guided approach of needle exchanges, etc (learned from Australia which is the world leader in AIDs prevention). Edinburgh had a 10 times (or more) higher HIV infection rate as a result (mostly straight people too).

    Australia is the ‘gold standard’ at dealing with AIDs. The medical and gay communities worked (and still do) very closely together. Needle exchanges were brought in all over the place (even in little country towns and prisons). Condoms were made readily available all over the place. Education programs put in place, including people directly going out to gay clubs and places to talk to and educate people. Very quickly we got our infection rate down to the lowest in the world. Over time other countries followed our example.

    • Gays do not get genital warts or herpes simplex as often as men and women do. I’ve no idea why the transmission of these disease is more common with straight people.

      These are no fun either.

  201. adam

    Please reply i had unprotected sex with a prostitute mayb for 8 min she said she was clean because she had been to the hospital for diabetes but who the fuck knows you know ? But we had sex for mayb 8 minutes then i pulled out and busted im worried sick about hiv .. this was a one time thing and will never happen again should i be worried im goin to get tested in two months

    • Hello where did this occur? When did it happen? I do not think you got HIV. Have you ever had an HIV test?

      • Sailor

        Hi Rob,
        Something is worrying me sick…
        Recently I was in Dubai and picked a east European girl…she said she is from Tazakisthan later she said her kids r in Moscow….
        Anyway when in bed she asked me do I have a condom? I said no, so she was like lets do it without it.
        I panicked and said no, asked her to keep the money…she got upset n refused the money and asked for cab fare only…later she started crying and all…
        So I decided to just have oral sex with her…I was drunk…i tried going down on her but she covered her part with her hand(was she hiding something?) However I just rubbed my penis on her vagina trying to make sure to not to enter…I was holding it by hand…but may be penis head n a little part above hand( I m not circumsised) might have slipped inside, also b4 rubbing I was feeling her pussy with hand n it seemed pretty dry…I came on top of her pussy or with head inside I dont remember but my cum was all outside…and it was a short time may be a minute or two…yeah I came early n she laughed about it.
        Later she kissed me good luck n went…I got worried later considering the fact tat as an escort she decided to had unprotected sex with me, she was not carrying condom. Is she trying to infect others on purpose? cos when i enquired about her rate she just said whatever u want to give.
        .and she was more thn willing to have inter course without condom and refused money without the act.
        Its almost a month now….i am tetribly worried….getting loose motion from last night(but that I had b4 this enounter also)
        Right now sailing so cant get tested, planning to do it soon as I go back.
        What do you think Rob, is it something to get really worry about?

  202. Sandra

    Robert I am a women that have two one night stand without protection one with a white American heterosexual men (do not know this guy- he is about 22 years old, university educated he told me he had a girlfriend for 5 years and slept with about 5 other girls) we do it like for 10 minutes total maybe less I do not remember and he came the first time outside and the second I think outside but do not remember. The other guy is a latin heterosexual men (educated too, I think he have an surgery about 2 years ago, married for about 2.5 years) we do it like 5 minutes and he came inside me.
    I am so freak out about it and do not know the risk I have to get infected of hiv.
    I am going to get tested but will appreciated your opinion

    • I honestly do not think you got HIV from either of these men. Have you ever had an HIV test? If you are woman, the only guys you might have sex with who might have HIV are guys who have been having sex with other men (usually receptive anal sex) or have been sharing needles with other drug users. If you are having sex with men who are not junkies and who not get fucked in the ass by other men, you have an extremely low chance of getting HIV.

      Have you ever had an HIV test?

  203. Sandra

    I forgot to add that this occur one on abril 2014 and the other on july 2014

  204. Sandra

    Thanks Robert!! I am going to have an HIV test, never have.

  205. Sandra

    Hi Robert is me again, I already have the test but the result will be until tomorrow. I’m freaking out, I do would like to know what are the possibilities for a women to get hiv for a one time 5 minute fuck.
    Thanks and sorry for all this questions is just I really nervous.

    • I think perhaps 1/50,000 out of any random male in society, but a huge number of the men with HIV are gay, so they won’t be having sex with women anyway.

      If really is heterosexual and does not shoot dope, the odds are unbelievably low that he has HIV.

  206. Sandra

    Just get my results is negative!! 🙂 thanks for the peace of mind I will of course contribute with your website I think is really positive to have a realistic point of things.

    • Yay Sandra! You ought to get tested once a year or so if you had sex in the last year and are not in a monogamous relationship. Also keep that test to show to any men you might meet that you are clean. Personally I would like any woman I sleep with to have a clean HIV test in the last year.

  207. Joe

    Hey Rob..I’m another one of those who are semi worried about a partner I had. The first time her and I slept together she started to bleed mid way through. When I saw it we immediately stopped and both cleaned ourselves. She is divorced with two kids,also had a tubal ligation after her second child(she is 26). It’s been 4 months since then,I’ve had no symptoms at all,I’ve also gained about 20lbs in weight from the gym since then..should I be worried at all? I have not had any flu like symptoms in 2 years. Also,her and I only had sexual relations twice, the second time there was no incident.

  208. pascal

    Hi Robert, I saw a high-end escort girl here in Australia 7 days ago, and during our encounter I went three times inside her vagina (very quickly in-out penetration without ejaculation/orgasm and without staying inside for long – just 2 secs each time I believe), and one time in her arse (2 secs also as condom had broken, and I immediately pulled out). Do you think I could get it? She says that she is being checked every 3 months for STD and HIV, and that her latest results were clean (negative). I know I was a big fool. I will obviously get myself tested in three months from now, just to be on the safe side. Should I be worried for catching HIV? Thanks

    • A 6 week test should be just fine. Have you ever had an HIV test before?

      As far as I am concerned, you did not get HIV in this encounter.

      • pascal

        Yes I was tested for HIV and STD in January this year, and all was negative. I will cross fingers. Thanks.

        • pascal

          I will definitely keep you posted. For the record, I NEVER ejaculated or had an orgasm with that particular escort girl WITHOUT a condom, whether in the case of a vaginal or anal penetration. I only had an orgasm ALWAYS WITH a fully functioning condom on. The 3 times I went inside her without one, was always very short once I realized it – just 1-2 secs each time (and there was never an ejaculation). But I know I should never have done this in the first place. It is foolish of me, and now of course I am a bit frightened. It is the first time that such a thing happens to me, but I was so excited as well as tired that I made the mistake. Hopefully all will turn out ok. Thank you for listening to me.

  209. For the umpteenth time,unless you get ass fucked raw (no condom) anal not vaginal, you will never come down with HIV. Also stay away from needles, IV drug abuse. Even if you fuck raw as the top, chances of getting infected are nil. Bottoms are primarily affected. Male or female. The latter comes from sleeping with down low men having receptive anal.

    HIV in Africa is a farce. Those people are dying from diseases of poverty, not sex. Tell a lie big enough. Everyone believes..

  210. Joe Cap

    Hi Robert. Im 35 year old heterosexual male living in Massachusetts. About three weeks ago i had unprotected sex with a girl i met on a dating site that i just met. She was on her period and I suspected she was an iv drug user, which she vehemently denies.. Since then ive been having so many symptoms that look like hiv acute phase reactions..i know i should get tested but what do you think? Do i have reason to panic here?

    • Was she bleeding during the sex? What made you think she was an IV drug user?

      • Joe

        Yes she was bleeding. I was really drunk and i remembered the next day some scars on her wrist. I asked her about them at the time and she said they were cat scratches. But about a week later i contacted her and questioned her some more about my suspicion of her drug use based on these marks, the way I was feeling, and the fact that she was on her period! She did fess up to using cocaine and also said these were marks from cutting and at attempted suicide! WTF,, I met this giirl on a dating app and this is what I find lol. But she denied ever using needles. Many weeks later and Im still freaking out. I have diagnosed myself with everything from mono, to strep, chronic fatigue, tonsillitis, just a lingering cold. Everything! My health insurance doesn’t kick in until April so I’m doing some tests at a CVC minute clinic today. Ugh. Some of my symptoms include feeling tired, off and on sore throat, swollen glands, got some tiny dots all over torso that came and went, and a yellow patch on my tonsil. I know.. I prob need a test.

        • Ok it has been 4.5 weeks right?

          Well wait another week and a half to get a really good test.

          I am not going to comment on your symptoms because I do not want to freak you out. Let us put it this way. Men come to me all the time having risky sex with a woman. It is then followed by all of the symptoms you describe and then some. It is tempting to warn these men that they might be infected. However, to date not even one of these guys have turned up positive. In fact, since this post went up it has been deluged with men worried about risky sex incidents with women. They all waited to get tested. Not one of these men has tested positive yet.

        • Joe Cap

          Well that is an interesting statistic..as well as reassuring. Thanks for the quick reply. It is interesting how our minds can tie every little symptom back to a questionable, risky sex act trying to connect the dots..its just that the symptoms are so vague and common that of course we think its HIV!

  211. andrew

    Hi Robert I have been reading about the low risks of HIV in heterosexual sex on this forum. I had vaginal sex twice with the same girl.She is of unknown status but she is from a rough area of the city i am in and maybe she could have been a drug user.Anyway what’s been bothering me is that I experience pain on my helmet when the foreskin is back. Do you know if this increases my risk? I would like to hear from any other guys who are too sensitive on the underside of their foreskin. It sort of ruins sex for me (i prefer masturbation). I get sick with worry about HIV I guess the scare campaigns in the 80’s had an effect on my young mind. Cheers.

  212. andrew

    Hi Robert, no this isn’t a symptom because i’ve always had it. What I meant to ask was am I more at risk because of this? My thinking is that because of the pain then maybe the action of sex is more abrasive to my helmet when it is uncovered by the foreskin. No Robert im not circumcised. I’m here in Scotland ,UK. Its really uncommon for men to be circumcised here. I would have though circumcision would be more risky because then the head of the penis is more exposed to abrasive action and is not protected by the foreskin. The girl was quite wet at the time so the sex was not that rough. Is the foreskin supposed to be withdrawn during sex and do circumcised men not feel pain during sex or in general since there is no skin and the helmet exposed?

  213. andrew

    ok thanks Robert. I doubt I will be getting circumcised though as it would be painful without a foreskin, means I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate. I’ve had two HIV tests before and obviously both were negative.

  214. andrew

    Hi Robert. I’m just curious because a few times you mentioned about circumcision. No one here in the UK or Europe is circumcised unless they are Jewish and there is a low rate of HIV here. Is circumcision common for non jewish men in the US? What reason would they be circumcised if it weren’t for religious reasons?

  215. kiki

    Hey Robert
    I am 29 years old i had unprotected sex with a girl when i was drunk, then 2 days later i asked her to go for a HIV test with me. she tested Positive and i tested neg. i have been always negative BTW, her CD4 was above 500. i started PeP 4 days later and i have to test in 2 weeks am so afraid and i can not sleep. am circumcised. please tell me what are my chances to have HIV or not?

    • You didn’t get it. That’s the bottom line. Theoretically, sure, you could have gotten it, but I doubt it. Supposedly your risks are 1/10,000 for a one time encounter, but realistically, to get it from a woman via normal sex you probably need multiple encounters because you might need multiple dosing. If you had sex with this woman 40 times, you would have a 1% risk of getting HIV? See where I am coming from?

      Why are you on PeP? I would not even bother if it were me.

      • kiki

        I see what you mean Bob, surprisingly she has a BF who she went with for HIV test after e cause she could not believe where she got it from, the guy tested Negative and she conferred to me that they have been having sex many times without protection. and she also admitted that she may have got t from a guy who she slept with. Our sex did not last more than ten minutes. I am on PeP just to reduce my risk of contracting the virus, but still i feel so afraid, but will keep you posted on the result in two weeks time.
        Thank you a lot

  216. kiki

    Hey Robert,
    i just tested NEGATIVE, this is the 33th day after i got exposed to the virus via unprotected sex and the 4th week i started my PeP.
    Can i assume the test as conclusive? have you ever met people who slept with HIV woman and not been infected?
    Thanks a lot

    • See, I told you. Well the 6 week and especially the 3 month tests are gold to tell you the truth, but this is a good result. Really you want a 6 week test. I am glad for the good news!

      If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site. Donations are the only thing that keep the site operating.

  217. kiki

    OK Bob i will make sure to make a donation

  218. lee

    Hi Rob,

    Your website has been a great comfort. I had sex 8 years ago with a prostitute from Barcelona, possibly of African descent, I wore a condom and haven’t had any symptoms since. My girlfriend of 7 years has recently developed swollen lymph nodes and has had them for 6 weeks. Whilst doing research I noticed that that could be a symptom of HIV. I’ve had countless liver function tests and a coup