More False Accusations Against This Site

All of this BS is coming from Bigfooters. Who else? They are quote mining the site and deliberately taking things out of context in order to present me in the worst way possible, and in addition, they are making things up altogether. They know completely what they are doing, and they are just making stuff up to make me look bad. It’s character assassination.

Unfortunately, most of it centers around charges of “pedophilia.” We are currently in the midst of a sexual mass hysteria surrounding “pedophilia.” The vast majority of what is called pedophilia now is not any such thing, and the vast majority of people called pedophiles now are anything but, but don’t let that get in the way of a mass hysteria.

Briefly, pedophilia, in its most broad form, means sex with children either 12-under or under the age 12 (definitions differ). Sex between adults and persons 13-17 may be a lot of things (mostly it is illegal) but it’s not pedophilia! In fact, it’s not even abnormal!

There was a major effort in the latest DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) of Mental Disorders to expand the definition of pedophilia to include persons around the age of puberty (12-14). They called it either ephebephilia or hebephilia, I forget. They tried to turn ephebephilia into a new mental disorder (probably to get more guys locked up forever in sex offender charges as mentally ill so they can never let them out of prison), but it failed completely. The definition read that the person has fantasies about sex with a 12-14 year old and is either bothered by them or has acted upon them.

The psychiatrists agreed that:

1. Ephebephilia is not a mental disorder or mental illness.

2. Ephebephilia isn’t even abnormal!

I know the last one might shock you, but that’s what they said. In other words, it’s perfectly normal to fantasize about having sex with 12-14 year olds, according to the association of US psychiatrists. They didn’t even want to say it was abnormal to have sex with them, which is sure to shock a lot of folks.

What is going on here is a conflation of sex with teenagers 13-17 with sex with children 12-under. In truth, they are completely different things. Sex with young children is known as child molestation or sexual abuse or a lot of other things. Sex with teenagers is not child molesting or sexual abuse or pedophilia or any such thing. Mostly, it’s just illegal. They used to call it statutory rape, which is probably the best way to look at it. Whatever it is, it’s not a mental illness.

And certainly it is 100% normal for adult males of any age to be attracted to teenage girls aged 13-17. Many lab studies have proven just this. I would say that 95% of all men react sexually to a fully developed teenage girl. The 5% who do not are obviously gay. So apparently 95% of all men are pedophiles!

I have repeatedly stated my position on statutory rape on this site. The law says it’s illegal. Society doesn’t like it, and we are currently in the midst of a seriously insane mass hysteria about the subject whereby statutory rape is ludicrously conflated by pedophilia. I would advocate all that all males aged 20 and over obey the laws and lay off the jailbait teenage girls. Guys age 18-19, I have no position on this. Are they getting arrested for this too now?

If you mess around with jailbait, you may well get caught. And if you get caught, you will probably be convicted. After you are convicted, you will probably go to prison, not jail. Even prison populations are insane now, and guys going down on having sex with 15 yr old girls are getting beat up in there as “child molesters.” Worse, the papers will insanely write up your case as a “child molestation case.” They will call you “child molester” or “pedophile.” For what? For screwing a teenage girl.

After you get out, you will have to register on the Sex Offender list for the rest of your life, that’s assuming they don’t try to give you a DSM diagnosis so they can put you in a mental hospital after you serve your sentence, a hospital that they will never release you from. This was the reason for sneaking ephebephilia into the DSM, so they could give guys messing with 13-14 year old girls DSM mentally disordered sex offender (MDSO) diagnoses so they could lock them up forever. Thank God they shot it down.

One of the charges is that I admitted to having sex with a 13 yr old girl on my site but then deleted the reference. Nope, never happened. Never been with a 13 year old girl. Maybe next lifetime! If it would have happened, it would have been when I was around ages 16-18, but the opportunity never availed, and after that, the very idea seemed weirder and weirder. I actually had some opportunities as a schoolteacher, with girls propositioning me right in class in front of everyone, but I turned them down.

I was 27 years old and teaching school in LA in the South Bay. The class was 8th grade. The kids started yelling out, “Hey, see that girl there? She wants to have sex with you!” I was thinking, “Huh LOL? No. No way. No way is this happening to me.” But they kept it up. Finally I put down my book and walked over to the girl. She was 13, and she was incredibly beautiful.

At age 27, 13 year old girls looked way better to me than they do now. The difference is like night and day. I really think these jailbaits look way better to younger guys than to us older guys. As a man gets older, those teen hotties just look less and less enticing.

The kids were saying, “She wants to have sex with you! She wants you to meet her in the park after school so she can have sex with you!” They were laughing and shouting and carrying on.

So I sauntered over to her table. She was beautiful and blonde and had a good body. “So…” I asked. “Is it true? You want to have sex with me? You want to meet me in the park after school so you can have sex with me?” She looked straight ahead and nodded her head shyly but with frantic enthusiasm, like she was a little embarrassed. I started laughing really hard, shook my head and walked away, and that was that. Needless to say, I never took her up on her offer.

The other charge is that I bought and did drugs and then had a relationship with a 15 year old girl. Yep, it’s all true! But I was 20 years old at the time! Haven’t done any such thing since I was 21. My conscience is clear. If a 20 yr old guy screwing a 15 yr old girl makes me a “pedophile,” hey, no problem – I guess I’m a pedophile then!

Another charge is that there are pedophiles in the comments sections. Every now and then pedos do show up in the comments section for whatever reason, along with guys who are not pedos but are interested in such things or on the verge molesting kids. Usually posters who are anti-pedo or anti-child molesting take them on pretty quick and start pounding them really good and hard, and then the pedo-molester types typically take off.

I certainly don’t ban pedophiles or even child molesters from my site. Anyone can post here, even serial killers. None have showed up yet, but I won’t ban them if they do.

Wait, I do ban Republicans. But then I like pedophiles way better than I like Republicans. 1 Republican is worse than 100 pedophiles.

Some False Charges Against This Site

From a post on Bigfoot Forums:

RL seems to play both sides, for instance he wants the Ketchum paper to come out yet does all he can to ridicule her.

He says he is not racist, yet writes obsessively about race in a very divisive, provocative way. He also can be counted on to have several creepy posts about woman and about pedophilia.

I would like to clear up some misconceptions about me and my site. First of all, there is no creepy pedophile material on my site. I am interested in the subject, but I am as much a pedophile as most of you are (I assume 0%). I am just interested in all sorts of perverse and weird things. I write about all sorts of weird stuff on my site, serial killers, mental illnesses, paraphilias, sexual perversions and all manner of strange things. I work as a therapist, and I deal with people who are not pedophiles but worry they are. So I had to research the subject.

My position is quite clear that I am against all adult child sex with kids 12-under. With teenagers, it’s a bit different, but here in the US, it is mostly illegal (for sure illegal for adults and teens), and I just urge people to obey the law. True, I had a lot of sex with teenage girls back when I was 16-21, and I write about that on my site. I also write about my sex life, other men’s and women’s sex lives and all aspects of that. The site is sexually explicit. I haven’t had sex with a teenage girl since age 21 because I am afraid of going to jail, and at my age, they are not so attractive anymore anyway!

Anyway, I support males who have a true pedophilic orientation as I know that they can’t help it. But I don’t think they should have sex with kids for a variety of reasons. I don’t know what to do with them. Maybe put them on an island where everyone is over 18 as punishment!

There are no creepy posts about women on my site, but I talk about sex and my sex life a lot, and the site is basically X-rated.  I also talk about how to get women, Game theory, PUA theory and all of that. It is sort of a self help site for single men.

I am very sympathetic to females, in fact, I prefer to associate with women, and I spend most of my time around them as I much prefer them to males.

Bottom line is I reject charges of creepiness about women and especially about pedophilia on my site since I oppose sex between adults and 12-under kids for sure! And even adult-teen sex I urge men to not to do it because the laws here are so insane. Why go to prison?

These charges against my site are just wrong.

Also I reject the charge that my site is racist. I am just not PC! My co blogger is a ferociously antiracist Black woman, and she definitely keeps me on my toes. I write everything with her in mind, and I really try hard not to be racially offensive, but I do tackle a lot of racially un-PC stuff. There are folks of all races in the comments threads, and they go at it all the time.

Lastly, I am a Leftist, so I am not supposed to be racist or misogynist if you know what I mean! We are not supposed to be that way.

What Are the Chans?

Rachelle writes:

Robert, baby, what is 4chan? Is it some creepy pedophile thing?

Possibly 4chan and definitely some of the other chans are known to sometimes have legal jailbait posts and even illegal child porn posts some of the time.

A friend of mine linked me to one of the particularly notorious chans once, and there were a bunch of pics of girls all the way to Lolitas to teenagers there. A lot of the girls are in very suggestive poses like with their legs spread very wide; however, they always had just enough clothing on. I mean a 10-12 year old girl wearing short shorts and doing a total split with her legs spread wide. There’s no actual nudity, but it’s very suggestive. I guess this sort of thing is legal, but it was definitely straddling the line. It was more weird, strange and funky than erotic. I was mostly thinking, “This is a bunch of bull!” and “Why would anyone want to look at that?”

The posts were split between channers who were posting this silliness and others who were opposed to it and were disturbed by the pics. Some of those disturbed by it were attacking the guys posting the stuff, calling them creepers, pedos and Chesters. A lot of the guys posting the stuff admitted that they had some sort of pedophilic or Lolita interest. Some of the girls were older and that looked ok, but a lot of them were Lolitas or even a bit younger and that was just freaky and disturbing. I read a few pages of it, and then I said screw this and left.

Supposedly people post real child porn on the chans sometimes. Some of my friends are big chan readers, and they say now and then someone posts illegal stuff. They usually get reported right away, and the stuff tends to get removed. Thing is, if you hang out on the chans, you are probably going to see some disturbing legal quasi-pedo stuff all the way to real illegal child porn. That’s a good reason to stay away from some of the more notorious chans right there. Who wants to see that stuff?

There are other chans that as far as I can tell never post anything like that. I get linked there sometimes, so I go to the sites. Even these chans are wild, wide open places full of all kinds of mostly young male and crazy posters. The whole idea is to post totally provocative things to rouse people up. A lot of it is very funny, but some is just disturbing.

For instance, you will be reading along and all of a sudden there is gay hardcore pornography of some guy sucking off another guy. Who wants to see that? Did I ask to see that? Or there might be some gore pic of something really horrible like someone getting his head blown off. And often racist posts, especially against Black people, will spring up out of nowhere. This results in a whole bunch of other really ugly anti-Black posts and some people jumping in to defend the Blacks. Some of the anti-Black stuff is funny, but most of it is just crude, rude and vicious. It’s not uncommon to see nasty anti-Semitism either.

On the more legit chans, you will never see any quasi-legal quasi-pedo stuff and of course there will not be any illegal child porn. Instead there will be quite a few pics of hot young chicks and some legal straight pornography. Even that is a bit weird as you will be reading along, and all of a sudden you get hit by hardcore porn out of nowhere.

Personally, I find the whole chan experience even on the legit chans to be quite disturbing. A lot of the posters are very mean and cruel to each other, and it’s a pretty adolescent atmosphere to say the least.

The whole idea of the chans is “anything goes.”

Is There a “Typical Pedophile?” Not Really

Brengunn writes:

Any hint of empathy, or non-violent sentiment concerning paedophiles is enough to condemn you in many people’s eyes. It’s part of the tabloid hysteria. That, combined with you being a bit of an introvert nerdy guy in his 40′s, that’s a stereotypical image of a paedo, even though law enforcement says it’s not an accurate image.

Pedophilia comes on as an orientation around puberty or so. By late adolescence, many are comfortable with their orientation.

So by age 18 or so onwards, all pedophiles have a pedo orientation, and some are trying to get with kids in various ways or obtain child porn and whatnot.

So the whole idea that a “pedo” is a guy in his 40′s makes about as much sense as saying that the typical straight or gay man is a man in his 40′s. Obviously, pedophiles span the normal age spectrum as you would expect with any sexual orientation.

I spent a lot of time on a site called Wikisposure that is set up by anti-pedos to go after online pedophiles. They are pretty vicious. They found these guy’s photos, phone numbers, addresses etc and posted all of them. They also found a lot of their online communication that was pedo oriented. I researched there a lot because not being one and working with a lot of folks who were worried about this stuff as a therapist, I wanted to learn about pedophilia since I knew little about it.

I ran through about 300 profiles, and then I started to get a picture of what a pedophile was. A pedophile is just a regular guy. Some were sort of weird, but many were wild extroverts, good looking men, often with very good jobs. The happiest of them were very extroverted, well liked by other adults, appeared completely normal, etc. Some of these types had managed to arrange their lives so that they had kids around them much of the time. That they were so normal looking allowed them to be so successful.

Quite a few were pretty open about their pedophilia – “out” pedophiles. Some of the ones with very good jobs apparently had good relations with their employers. Their employers knew they were pedophiles and didn’t care.

A number of the gay pedophiles were in relationships with other gay men, often living together. One got the impression in a lot of cases that these were two gay pedophiles living together. There was a high rate of “boy-lovers,” way more than you would expect if they were just 4-5% of the population as male gays are. So gay men have a higher rate of pedophilia than straight men, but I would still think that gay pedophiles are probably not that common.

It was very rare to run across nonpreferential pedophiles. There was one married man on there, happily married with 3-4 kids, who described himself as a pedophile. He also said he was strongly attracted to adult females. That sort of person was rarely found on the site. Almost all had a strong preference for kids and little or no preference for mature persons.

There were no real female pedophiles on the site, and I doubt if they even exist. I get women coming to me a lot worried about this stuff, but I just tell them that there is no such thing as a female pedophile. There were some women who hung out on the pedo forums, but these tended to be young women who were more accurately described as “perverts.” These were women who were simply into everything and anything sexually. They had no preference for kids.

A lot of the pedophiles did seem to move around a lot, I noticed that.

The pedophiles were all or nearly all very happy about their pedophilia. A number of them said that even if there was a cure, they would not even take it as they loved being a pedophile so much.

It’s important to note that 90-95% of child molesters are not pedophiles at all. They are most attracted to mature persons of whatever sex and they are no more attracted to kids than to a sheep or a hole in the wall or a greased palm or a hole in a watermelon. These folks are simply criminals. They take advantage of kids sexually as an easy target and as a way of exploiting or using the kid sexually for their own selfish demands.

A true pedophile though has an actual preference for children. It’s not very common, it’s present by puberty, and as far as I can tell, it never goes away.

Disturbing Video About Pedophiles in California

Here.

Narrated for the BBC by Louis Theroux, one of my favorite broadcast interviewers. One thing I love about Louis is how he tries to relate amicably to anyone and everyone he interviews, no matter who they are or what they have done. I don’t know how he does it, but he does it very well. This is one thing that journalists need to learn how to do. If you don’t find some space to connect with the person you are interviewing, they simply will not cooperate.

In addition, anthropologists and linguists have to do the same thing.

When I was studying how to do anthropological fieldwork, I read a book called Globetrotting in Sandals, Culture Research Field Materials Guide. One thing they emphasized was how the anthropologist had to connect completely with those he was studying. You did this by simply totally and utterly accepting their way of living, no matter how awful, stupid or repulsive you might find it. Otherwise you aren’t going to be able to work with them well.

In this show, Louis goes to Coalinga State Hospital in California where the state has chosen to frankly warehouse sex offenders even after they have done their time in prison. The way this trick is done is to find them “mentally ill and in need of treatment.” Then they are socked away preventively as a danger to society in a mental hospital for the rest of their lives.

The problem is that this feint is not logical. The vast majority of sex offenders are not mentally ill in any real way. They get around this by diagnosing them with disorders like Pedophilia and “Coercive Paraphilia” (this is supposedly the mental illness that rapists suffer from). The latter is not even a diagnosis that actually has been proven to exist by psychological science. This confirms what anyone knows – that rapists aren’t nuts – they are simply criminals.

Pedophilia exists, but the vast majority of child molesters are not pedophiles. A true pedophile is primarily and only attracted to prepubescent children as their source of sexual attraction. They have been this way from an early age. They have little or no attraction to mature individuals. In general, they are incurable, and their attraction to kids will never go away.

The vast majority of those who molest children are not pedophiles. They are no more attracted to kids than they are to mature males or females, goats or inanimate objects. They have no particular desire or interest in having sex with children, and it’s not apart of their sexual fantasies. Instead, they are simply criminals. They take advantage of children sexually for a variety of reasons, possibly because they are an easy target.

DSM-5 has tried to open up a huge can of worms by creating a new diagnosis called Hebephilia which supposedly means someone who is preferentially or otherwise attracted to early adolescents. Since all normal males have some degree of attraction to girls that age (though lesser than the maximal response for females 16+) the very diagnostic category itself is dubious. Indeed, psychological science questions whether Hebephilia actually exists as a disorder.

A recent study have found that out of 28 rapists sentenced as mentally ill sex offenders (Paraphilia NOS was the grab bag dx in these cases) under these laws, 26 of them were simply criminals and only 2 had a Paraphilia NOS. So these laws are being seriously abused in an unconstitutional way.

I really doubt if most of the men in this prison are true pedophiles, but I can’t be sure.

Some other things bothered me about the show. The emphasis in therapy seemed to be on curing the men of their interest in children. However, if they are true pedophiles, their interest in children is incurable and will never wane. So why try to do the impossible? They are also subjected to regular penisthograph tests to gauge their attraction to children, once again under the assumption that such attraction is amenable to change in the first place.

In another part of the video, a man was confronted over refusing to take a polygraph. He said he didn’t want to take it because they were going to ask him about all the kids he molested. He didn’t want to talk about that because he had only been sentenced for a few molestations. Apparently there were many others that he had never been arrested for.

He was afraid that if he confessed to the other cases, new charges would be filed against him and he would have to go back to prison. It seemed a legitimate worry to me.

70% of the men in the hospital were not taking part in the therapy program, so they will never get out as long as they are recalcitrant like this. Even those in the therapy program rarely get out.

I have serious issues with not releasing and re-imprisoning folks after they have done their time on the basis of “dangerousness.” Down that road likes a slippery slope indeed.

Pedophilia Versus POCD Redux

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve had pure O my whole life. As a child it was both religion and contamination related. As I got older it turned into health and contamination related. (I became an atheist and stopped caring about intrusive anti-religious thoughts.)

But here’s where it gets a little tricky. When I was 10 years old and just discovering my sexuality, I noticed that I especially had a fondness for girls who were 5-7 years old. I knew this was much different than others my age, and felt quite guilty about it. I was also attracted to 10 year olds, however.

As I got older, every time I saw a cute little girl, I would avert my eyes and repeat to myself in my mind “I’m not a pedophile, I’m NOT a pedophile.” It felt very much like the intrusive thoughts from my OCD and happened constantly. This continued until around 16 years old.

At this point, I became interested in anime and the primary school aged characters in these shows. I talked to others who were interested in animated little girl characters also. At this point, I was still having intrusive thoughts, but being interested in the fictional characters didn’t bother me at all.

And then, in the same places where I was discussing these fictional characters, people would also often post pictures of elementary school girl models and actresses. I began masturbating to these photographs, but every time I would feel immensely guilty and hate myself for it.

Awhile later, I met a 6 year old girl. She began visiting us often. I just fell in love. In no other time in my life had I felt this way before. She was a joy to be around and extremely beautiful. We became very close, and I cared for her more than anything. After meeting her, all intrusive thoughts stopped and I accepted my attraction as normal for me.

I’m now in the my early 20s, and have very little interest in women. The pedophilic intrusive thoughts are no longer there, only the ones based on health worries and contamination remain.

I do have sexual thoughts about young girls, but I see them as normal for me now. Although when I see a cute girl that I’m interested in, it’s closer to crushing than lust. “Oh wow, she’s so beautiful.” The girls that I tend to like are between the ages of 5 and 11. They are just so cute.

Now, based on this information, do you think I have a pedophilic orientation? Or do you think it’s possible that I had POCD and just gave up fighting it?

A few things to consider: I would never touch a girl, I know it’s wrong.

It also has nothing to do with being dominant. I actually find the idea of dominating a young girl extremely disgusting.

It also is not only physical, I am extremely attracted to the personalities of very young girls, and just hanging out and playing games with them have been the best experiences I’ve ever had in my life.

This is a fascinating post. It shows that someone can have both OCD and pedophilia, so the notion that OCD’ers are too good or too moral to develop pedophilia is not correct.

Pedophilia in my opinion is simply a sexual orientation like homosexuality, bisexuality or heterosexuality. It can’t be much changed like any of those. There are countless gay and bisexual OCD’ers. I know because I have talked to many of them. Surely there must be some OCD’ers with a pedophilic orientation.

It’s probably better for a pedophile to have OCD than to not have it. The OCD pedophile will be a lot less likely to act on his urges due to his extreme morality, guilt and conscientiousness. The OCD will act as an inhibitor towards acting on the pedophilia.

I am absolutely certain that he has pedophilia. There’s no way that he could possibly have POCD and just gave up fighting it. Though it shows that there are some similarities between POCD and true pedophilia, and this shows how differential dx is so difficult with these cases.

I am actually sorry to hear that he has no attraction to adult females, but perhaps this is his normal orientation. I wish he had an adult attraction so he could live and love happily and legally in our society. As is, his sex life may well be barren or solitary and his love life may be thwarted.

However, many pedophiles are absolutely happy with their orientation and love being this way. He seems like he is too. I am very glad to see that he is happy with his orientation and his sexual and love desires. I love to see people who are happy. I agree that him that he should not act on this orientation as it’s illegal.

If he ever wants to have a real sex life with a female or really fall legally in love with a female, he will need to expand his love map to include adults, though most pedophiles have no interest in doing this. In fact, many to most pedophiles say that even if there was a cure for pedophilia, they would not take the cure.

I also love females of all ages. I love females period. Little girls are wonderful in a special way as a special kind of female, though I see them as seeds of women rather than fully formed entities and I see women as the fully town product rather than girls that moved on.

But there’s a girl inside every woman, and a budding woman inside every girl. If you love females, you learn to love the sprouted seed of girl in the woman and the sprouting woman in the girl. In a way, they are one and the same – females at different stages.

I actually like teenage girls a lot more than little girls. Little girls seem ridiculous to me, and there’s little sexual attraction there. I had a world full of good and great times with teenage girls, often sexual, when I was young, and I think about those wonderful days all the time. When I see teenage girls, I reminisce. About the teenage girls that I knew and loved, who will live forever in my heart.

Though when I do meet a teenage girl nowadays, they seem silly to me, and I can’t see getting involved with them. I would not do it even if it was legal. But the teenage girl is definitely a special type of female – not a girl and not a woman. Not better than a woman or a girl but only different.

I probably like adult females 18+ best of all, since they are legal. I like teenage girls who are fully developed, around age 16-17 because to me that’s just a woman. But their immaturity is a massive turnoff. Even young women of college age often turn me off now because they seem to immature and silly.

A fully formed and mature woman is not only maximally attractive to me (all females age 16+ are maximally attractive to me) but her mind is also fully matured, and that is a massive turn-on to me as I get older. Sex and love is more than just a hot body you know. And the fully formed and fully matured woman has a joyous wonder and glory about her that is equal to if not superior to that the teenage girl and the girl. All the female maturational types are wonderful in their own special ways.

A Complicated Case of POCD

POCD is simply obsessional OCD with the pedophile theme. That is, the person worries that they are a pedophile, that they are aroused by children and that they want to have sex with children. This is only one of many themes that pure obessional OCD takes. It seems to be increasing in recent times due to the mass hysteria surrounding pedophilia and child molesting in general.

Since writing articles on theme, I have received many requests for help from people who fear that they may be suffering from this condition. In working with someone with the pedophile theme, it is essential first of all to figure out whether there is any actual pedophilia going on. I have dealt with a large number of persons with this worry so far, and I haven’t met a pedophile yet. I assume that pedophiles are simply not going to come to me for help.

However, in a number of cases, the line between pedophilia and POCD is quite difficult to discern. The following case will illustrate some of the difficulties involved.

A young man, age 28, came seeking help with a possible case of pedophile theme OCD. He laid out a very confusing and complicated case that was hard to figure out.

He said he was seeing a therapist. I asked for the diagnosis given by the therapist, who was an expert in OCD. The therapist said it was POCD and not pedophilia. I asked what the basis for the diagnosis was.

The man said that the therapist said the thoughts, etc. were ego-dystonic, therefore they were OCD. I agreed with this in principle. Ego-dystonic, ego-alien, etc. thoughts will generally tend to be OCD and not something else. A true pedophilic orientation is probably not truly ego-dystonic in nature.

I asked the man whether or not he resisted the thoughts. He said he tried to, but was not always successful due to the thoughts fighting back. He then said that he had “wars in his mind” going on pretty much 24-7 over this issue. This seemed to clinch that we were dealing with OCD here and not something else. OCD thoughts are resisted but not always successfully since the thoughts fight back. As they fight back, one ends up with a war in one’s mind.

An attempt was made to discern the man’s true sexual orientation. It is my opinion that true, fixated preferential pedophilia (the only kind I am concerned with) comes on at a very young age, at the latest 13-14 and often much younger.

The man had engaged in some child sex play involving other boys. Child sex play is often found in the background of people with POCD and serves to the feed the pedophile fears. The sex play involved swatting each other on the rear end or something to that effect. The man admitted that it had been arousing.

However, as his sex drive came on, he had only a strong orientation towards females of his own age and up. He had no attraction towards males or children.

He had a good, strong, healthy sex drive along these lines until guilt triggered the child sex play memories, and he started worrying about whether or not he was a pedophile. This occurred at around age 16. The thoughts had continued and only increased in the ensuing 12 years.

Curiously, though he was clearly heterosexual, the POCD took the form of thoughts about boys, which didn’t make much sense to me. As he worked deeper and deeper into this guilt and POCD worry syndrome, he began to feel his normal attraction to females diminishing.

At the same time, he was awkward in school and frequently bullied. Girls were mean to him, and he was rejected countless times. This led to plunging self-esteem and increased POCD symptoms.

He then went to college and majored in History, but the symptoms only got worse. He ended up having relationships with women, including a sexual one recently. However, either the POCD or the anxiety in general took out his sex drive such that he simply had little to no drive anymore. He could barely sustain an erection. The relationship with the woman failed due to chronic impotence, tragically at the young age of his mid-20′s.

Later his sex drive came back to some extent, but even then, although he was able to ejaculate, he could only get partial erections.

This long, drawn out and sad history had taken a heavy toll on his self-esteem. Self-esteem issues were obvious on first talking to him over the phone, when he displayed a meek and self-apologetic demeanor. He also had heavy defenses up in that he didn’t want to deal with some of the self-effacing behaviors or the self-esteem issue.

He also had a somewhat wooden and heavily intellectualized voice which lacked emotional depth and sounded like “Spock” on Star Trek. He was told that the wooden and intellectualized demeanor would result in problems in dealing with others, particularly females, who would see it as lack of emotionality.

I informed him that the self-esteem issues were primary here and were feeding into the POCD and vice versa. I feel that self-esteem is very hard to build up from a base of nothing. Generally, good high self-esteem is based on success in life, which builds confidence at least and egotism at most. If one is not having any successes, it’s hard to build up self-esteem where successes seem to be a requirement. I feel that building self-esteem may be one of the toughest therapeutic issues out there.

When asked how the pedophilic thoughts felt, he admitted that he found them somewhat arousing, though he also felt terrified, horrified, sick and nauseous. The dominant emotions associated with the pedophilic thoughts seemed to be fear and sheer terror. This seemed more in line with POCD than with pedophilia.

I told him I agreed with the diagnosis the therapist had made, that this was POCD and not pedophilia.

Cases where the POCD comes on early in life such as the teen years in males are bound to cause much confusion. I do not believe that people develop pedophilia after puberty, and certainly not after puberty and against their will. Feelings of sickness, nausea, fear, terror and the like, whether or not accompanied by sexual arousal, seem to point towards POCD.

A good strong normative sex drive towards age appropriate or older and mature peers is a good guess that there is no pedophilia going on. Where a strong and healthy age-normal sex drive radically diminishes or vanishes over time to be replaced by a terror-stricken pedophilic “attraction,” this will look like POCD.

People do not develop strong, healthy age-appropriate drives only to see them vanish in front of their eyes to be replaced by a frightening pedophilic orientation. Any case of radical diminishment of a healthy and normative drive and its replacement by a frightening new drive, all occurring against the person’s will, after ages 13-15, is typically indicative of some sort of sexual OCD.

This case also shows, sadly, the dramatic effects of sexual OCD or possibly just anxiety on the strong sex drive of a young man. The sexually diminishing effects of anxiety or sexual OCD are in need of further investigation.

The following schemata illustrates the case above well:

Problem: POCD

True attraction: Mature females

Fake attraction: Male children

Do Female Pedophiles Exist?

Probably not in the sense that we are talking about.

I spent a long time on Wikisposure (an anti-pedophile site) reading the profiles of the pedophiles in an attempt to learn about the condition. There were a few women on there with a sexual interest in children, but they did not seem to be the sort of fixated and preferential pedophiles with a dominant interest in kids that you see in males.

I don’t believe that merely having some or any sexual interest in children makes you a pedophile. Science seems to back me up on that matter.

The term pedophilia refers to those, nearly or always males, who have a dominant, preferential interest in children as a sexual orientation. They typically have little to no interest in adults. In some cases, they have an interest in adults, but it is less, often much less, than their interest in children. They are best described as fixated. It comes on early in life , and can’t possibly come on past age 14 or so.

Why make the distinction between fixated and preferential pedophiles and ordinary folks who have some degree of attraction to children? From a policy standpoint, the fixated and preferential pedophile unfortunately is much more likely to molest a child.

After all, this is their orientation. It’s the only thing that gets them off. If they want to have sex and get off, they need to do it with a kid. Sure, many can control themselves, but many others cannot, and asking humans to be celibate and not act on their sexual orientation is a tall order.

Studies following true pedophiles for 25 years found that 50% of them had offended. Typically they were not caught.

Adults with some interest in children that is not strong, dominant, preferential or fixated could probably just blow it off or take it or leave it. In most cases, they would probably choose to leave it cue to moral, self-control or legal issues.

If they want to get off sexually, they could masturbate to adult imagery or have sex with an adult. Both would be maximally satisfying. People without preferential or fixated attitudes towards kinks or perversions typically have a “take it or leave it” attitude towards them.

I’ve never seen a single female pedophile according to the definition above on the pedo forums profiled on Wikisposure. There were a very few women on there who had a sexual interest in children, but they also had strong interests in adults too along a million other things. They were best described as female perverts or trysexuals. They were not fixated, preferential pedophiles where kids were their dominant interest.

Pedophilia is all or almost all male, and it comes on no later than age 13 or 14 and often much before. They all prefer or have a dominant interest in kids. They are all fixated and incurable. Some have an interest in adults too that is rarely as strong as the interest in children.

I just don’t believe that female sexuality gets fixated or stuck in the same way that male sexuality does. Even if a female gets into kids, she could probably just work her way out of it on her own. Any females who are into kids probably are choosing to be that way.

More on Pedophiles: Typology and Age of Onset

A woman comes to the site and disputes some of the things I wrote about pedophiles.

‘A true pedophile is attracted only to children of a certain age and not to adults and has been this way since adolescence.’

This is not true – some pedophiles are attracted to adults and adolescents as well but their predominant attraction will be children. Also some come to this attraction later in life than adolescence.

‘The wild popularity of pedophilia themes on erotic story sites, often written by housewives and mothers of young kids, among others, suggests that not only pedophiles are reading and writing this stuff.’

How do you know the authors of these stories – are they verified?

We have done quite a bit of research here on pedophilia. I’ve done a lot myself, and a lot of the POCD sufferers that I work with also did a lot of research while they were worrying that they were pedophiles. A number of my sufferers went to paraphilia forums to talk to actual pedophiles. Usually the pedophiles told them to “Get out – you’re not a pedophile.”

On these sites, the pedophiles all said that their pedophilia had come on at a very early age, basically during childhood. In all of them it had come on by age 13, or at the very latest, 14. This included both preferential and nonpreferential types, although my research on the hardcore pedophile on the Net (those that frequent the pedophile forums) has shown that nonpreferentials are quite uncommon.

Working through the hundreds of pedophiles profiled on the Wikisposure site, I found only one male who was also strongly attracted to adults, in his case, females. In the vast majority of cases, they had no interest in adults at all, or very little interest.

About the age of onset, it seems about right. Male sexual orientation is fixed at age 15 and possibly even earlier and cannot be adjusted after that date. I strongly feel that paraphilias in the male are the same. Those who are deep into sadism, masochism, pedophilia, fetishes, etc. all probably have an age of onset no later than age 14 in the male. After age 14, a male simply cannot up and become a hardcore masochist, sadist, pedophile or fetishist.

In the male, all sexuality probably has deep roots in childhood. John Money felt that your sexual map was complete by age 8. Others feel that personality is deeply developed by age 7 or so. IQ is pretty stable after age 7. Probably much of what we call “ourselves” has very deep childhood roots.

Some people can develop passing interests in various sexual things at a later age. Indeed, it is quite common. In the course of my work with POCD types, I have talked to a number of males who called themselves “trysexuals” who had explored virtually every kink known to mankind, even pedophilia. In some cases, initial exploration happened as late as their 40′s.

In all cases, the males said they had a “take it or leave it” attitude towards these kinks. They were strongly turned on by adult males or females or both, and the kinks were just like hours d’oevres on the plate.

One man had masturbated to child porn stories involving young girls starting at age 43. He also had strong interest in mature females and no prior pedophilic interest. He said he just explored it because it was “sick, kinky, perverted, evil and wrong.” There was a taboo attraction to it.

He got into the stories for a while and found them arousing, but then he felt guilty and dropped them because he found it disturbing to be exploring such a sexual area. This was the term he used – “exploring.” He also said in regard to these kinks that he could “pick them up and drop them at any time.”

This implies that these were not strong sexual fixations with deep roots in childhood and adolescence but instead that they are just nonfixated kinks that one could dabble around with or not as they chose.

He said there were a thousand other kinks out there that he could explore too, and anyway, his main interest was mature females, so why mess around with this stuff, especially with the societal hysteria? He insists he’s not a pedophile, and I absolutely agree with him. Further, he has no particular interest in young girls – no more than the average man.

As far as who is writing these stories, in his interview with me, Sexmaniacman said he had gone around to various Internet sites where people catalog sex stories. Unfortunately, “pedo” was a very popular theme. Often in the bio section, the author would say she was a female, often an older married woman in her 20′s to 40′s with kids or grown kids.

He said he found the bios very convincing, and the pedo stories were so popular on those sites that he strongly doubted it was only pedophiles reading and writing this stuff.

I feel that there are probably a lot of folks out there, even females, who are not fixated pedophiles, but who do find this sort of thing potentially arousing at least at times. They are probably exploring it due to the extreme taboo nature of the subject.

Questions About Paraphilias, Especially Pedophilia

Atheist Indian writes:

If someone can get off to fantasies of paedophilic imagery, then they probably have a paedophilic orientation, even if a slight one. Of course, they shouldn’t feed it as any fantasy that is fed regularly grows, so to speak, which is where your advice to stick to more mature stuff comes in.

Now what I am curious is, if non-exclusive paedophilia is indeed an instinct in some people, is it possible to completely ignore about it till it disappears? From what I understand of human psychology, the more one tries to suppress an instinct, the more obsessive and perverted it grows.

I do not agree with the first paragraph at all. People, especially males, can literally get off on anything and I do mean anything.

For instance, as a pervert, I could probably get into just about any kink out there, and I have in my fantasy life with a lot of them anyway. None of them were strong or primary orientations acquired in puberty, so I was just exploring the sexual smorgasbord so to speak. With some of these kinks, I decided that it was too perverted to fantasize, etc. about that stuff, so I just decided to trash it and move on on the grounds that I don’t want to explore that sexual area.

Anyway, perfectly normal stuff like hot mature babes turns me on like wild, so why spelunk around the sexual grottoes with a bunch of weird stuff?

I managed to make it out of puberty and adolescence without any paraphilias that I’m aware of, but not everyone treads that path for whatever reason.

28% of all males are aroused by pedophilic imagery in the lab. Are they all pedophiles? Nonsense. There are communities out there where 100% of the kids are getting molested, boys and girls. It’s all happening in the family. Are the people doing it pedophiles? In most cases, I would say no. They are just normal, horny, fuck anything that moves males. One could argue that we males ought to suppress our fuck anything desires, and I for one have been able to do that in my life. But I can’t deny that there’s a part of most males, and even me, that wants to “stick it in anything.”

Following that line, I don’t agree that any male capable of getting aroused to pedophilic stimuli is a pedophile. I only use a dx of pedophilia for someone who has a very strong interest in this sort of thing. That leaves out the perverts and trysexuals and all the rest.

I don’t regard pedophilia, exclusive or nonexclusive, as an instinct, though the jury is still out on that. Some guys just get wired up that way somehow. No one quite knows how it happens, just like male sexual orientation in general.

For a long time a distinction was made between non-pedophilic child molesters and pedophiles.

The former (non-pedophilic child molesters) do indeed molest a lot of kids, mostly in the family, but they are not particularly turned on by kids. They are just horny males who are honing in on a target of opportunity, often a young girl.

Pedophiles, on the other hand, have a very strong, if not primary then something close to that, orientation towards children.

I regard these paraphilic orientations as fixed, at least in the male. In the female, things are much more up in the air. Sex offenders have a saying, “What turns you on, turns you on.” I think they’re right. A lot of these hard orientations and paraphilias are simply fixed early on in the male anyway.

Most of the paraphilias in their strong forms seem to be fixed for life. There is ongoing research to “expand the lovemap” of those with paraphilias so they can have more normal sex, but in most cases, getting rid of them is just not possible. There is no research indicating that pedophilia, once acquired in its strong form, is ever going to go away.