Get a Woman To Get Women

This is another in a series of articles where I try my hand at Game Theory, which is basically showing guys how to get women. This is a collaborative exercise. In other words, I am not Joe Stud teaching losers who can’t get women how to get one. This is a collaborative effort whereby males share their knowledge and experience as far as what works to get women.

One thing that I would like to say is very painful. It’s this:

You need to get a woman to get women. Or, you need to have a woman to get women. You get one woman, now you get more. See? The problem with this is, What about the guy who has no women, or, worse, who has never had any at all? I don’t want to say he is up the creek, but his prospects do not look too good.

If you had success with females in the past, then typically you can parlay that into more success in the future. So in that case, you don’t need to have a woman to get a woman. If you had a woman, you can get a woman. Or if you had women (better yet) you can get new ones.

The one common requirement here is experience and success. As with so much else in life, what to say to those poor souls who lack either or both? I do not know what to say to such a person.

However, there was a time in my teens when I had little or no success with females. At 16, I had hardly even been kissed. I overheard my father talking to my Mom in bed one night. “I am really worried about him,” my Dad said. “He doesn’t have any girlfriends!” My Mom said, “Don’t worry, he is still young.”

This sent a shiver of terror running down my spine. My own father was worried I was a faggot! This was back in the day when we thought homosexuality was contagious. Basically, all males started out straight but through some distortion of their self-image and sexuality, some straight males simply “turned gay.” A lot of us seemed to be worried about the prospect of “turning gay,” from conversations with my friends. And I read a Playboy statistic back in the 1970′s that said that 62% of all males have worried at some point or another in their lives whether they were gay or not. Probably for most of them it was but a passing worry.

Anyway, after hearing that, I resolved that I better to get myself some chicks right quick lest I turn into a homo! I grew my hair long, started smoking dope and listening to rock and roll. Wild fights with my father, sometimes fistfights, ensued. He as much as called me a faggot. He would sit there glaring at me at the dinner table, finally pounding his fist on the table. “Goddamn it!” he would scream. “You look like Veronica Lake!” Some old days movie star with fine curls. Which I had. Fine curls that is.

Anyway, all it took was the long hair, the dope and the rock and roll and pretty soon the chicks started rolling right on in. My Dad was furious that I was no longer a nerd. I dumped all my idiot, pussy, often somewhat fagged-out nerd friends who had no females in sight. I quit going to Chess Club meetings. Looking back on it, maybe I should not have dumped these nerds. One is now a brain surgeon, and the other owns a factory. Neither of these guys ever got any pussy, but I figure they must have got some by now. They lacked charm being nerds, but money has its own subtle allure you know.

Anyway, at one point in my life, I had zero experience, and pretty soon, I had quite a bit. I am not sure how I did it. It helped that at my age (16) most guys were complete failures as far as girls went. People were kind to me when I joined the hipster club.

At any rate, confidence helps. Even if you have dated 75-100 females, you can reach a point in your life when your confidence is zero. It won’t be appealing.

If you’re not having any success, I would urge you to shut up about it. I learned that awful quick. Back in the 1970′s, you were allowed about 3 weeks with no chick. After that, you were Loser City. Any females found out you had not girl in your life, they would start laughing and humiliating you right to your face. A few times, I offered that I had no chick in my life, and I might want one. I generally just got laughed at by both sexes. “Haha! Loser! Don’t expect me to help you!” That was from the guys. From the females it was crueler if anything.

I learned real quick to shut up about my sex life, and I also learned to lie a lot. My stock answer to every question was, “I don’t talk about my love life.” And I didn’t. That way you keep everyone guessing.

The painful realization that I got out of all of this was that at least at a young age, say early 20′s, pretty much nobody, I mean nobody, I mean nobody, is going to help you get laid. And the longer the incel spree goes on, the worse things get. Your confidence, formerly as high as the clouds, is now down in the mud. After dating 75 females at age 23-24, people were asking me if I was a virgin! They were asking me if I had ever had a date! If I had ever had a girlfriend! I assume they were reacting to what appeared to be possibly the lack of confidence that I was generating.

So now we finally roll around to the subject of the post. After much mucking about, the Whale is finally in sight, waiting to be stuck.

I have noticed in recent years that when there is not much going on female-wise in my life, I turn women off everywhere I go. Especially with young women, the attitude is basically, “Get the Hell away from me!”

As my love life picks up and things get moving along nicely, the women suddenly become way, way friendlier. Even previously inaccessible young women. All of a sudden, there are friendly and sexy females everywhere I go.

You wear your life in your sleeve. It takes a woman to get a woman!

More on How To Tell If a Man Is Gay or Not

Doug writes:

Wow, could you be any more hypocritical in this article? First off, I am a homosexual. I have never had sex with a woman, nor do I want to. So the first line of your article says “Sexual orientation is determined by thoughts and attraction and not by behavior.” This is true. There are plenty of guys who are married to women who tell people they’re straight but in fact they fantasize about sex with men. Things go downhill in your article after that.

Later in the article you say “[I can tell whether someone is gay or not because] gay and bisexual men act like they are attracted to me!” WHAT? Ok, first, you’re pretty average looking. If I met you, I would NOT act like I was attracted to you. So thus, how would you know if I were gay or not? I guess you couldn’t tell.

In one of your responses to a comment, you say “You mean guy guys just hit on any guy that they think is hot? That makes a lot of sense to me! I always wondered how gay and bi men figure out who to hit on.” This is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. How does a straight man figure out who to hit on? What if he hits on a lesbian?

And no, not every gay men hits on everyone he thinks is hot. I’m not a moron, I do realize that most guys I see are not gay. Jesus. As a gay man, I can tell you that there are definitely some very effeminate gay men out there, as well as some very masculine ones. There may be a very few effeminate straight men, but believe me, most of those guys are just closet cases. If you think someone “seems” gay, he probably IS gay.

No, no, no, no, no! You cannot tell who is gay or not based on behavior. This is the biggest lie of them all. There is a vast number of straight men whose behavior ranges from effeminate to androgynous to soft, quiet and sensitive and “not macho.” The number of straight men who I have met who got falsely pegged as gay or bi based on behavior is very high! And many, many straight men are quite effeminate. It’s rather common actually.

If a gay/bi man is friendly towards me, traditionally he gives off vibes like he is attracted to me on some level, at the very least. It’s not commonly the case that a gay/bi man acts friendly and not attracted to me. On the other hand, many gay men are unfriendly or hostile. Even some of those act like they are turned on by me, but many are simply hostile. If they are hostile, they often don’t act turned on.

Gaydar is the biggest lie of the century. There is no such thing as gaydar! And even if it does exist, it doesn’t even work! And even if it did work, gay/bi men wouldn’t even use it anyway, since many of them spend a good part of their time trying to screw straight guys. I am convinced that gay/bi men simply like hot guys. They don’t even bother to figure out if the guy is straight or gay or whatever. It’s simply, “Get the hot guy.” That’s all it is. The commenter says he actually tries to figure out if a guy is gay or not before he goes after him. I figure that is pretty unusual for gay/bi men.

Figuring out if a guy is gay is fairly straightforward.

Things that may mean something:

1. Acts quite effeminate. This actually doesn’t prove anything at all, but with a lot of these guys, I give them a “question mark,” meaning “possibly gay.” I like to believe everyone is straight because I think being gay or bi sucks. It’s an insult to think a guy is gay/bi. So in order to be kind to him, I simply assume everyone is straight until I have some pretty good evidence otherwise. It’s extremely cruel to assume that a man who is not gay/bi is gay/bi. That’s a terrible thing to think about someone. To me, you have just accused him of one of the most horrible things on Earth. Innocent until proven guilty!

2. Guy acts like he is turned on by you as a man. Generally speaking, he is also somewhere on the effeminate spectrum of effeminate/androgynous/soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho to boot.

It is not common at all for a straight man to give off vibes like he is attracted to you. Sometimes it happens, but it has a very different feel to it. Sometimes they act like they are very uncomfortable with the feelings. Other times, they act like, “I am having these feelings, but I don’t want to act on them.”

Sexuality “leaks.” Young men in particular are highly sexual. Their extreme sex drive is “leaking out” all over the place. So if there is a very good-looking guy around, some of that excess sex drive might “leak” over in his direction.

Usually I can sort it out regarding a guy who is truly gay/bi or a straight man having passing feelings. For one thing, the gay/bi guys have a very serious aspect to their attraction, like it is something they really want to act on.

3. Has zero interest in females. I worked with a gay man once. The good looking secretary types were always coming up to my desk for some reason. After a while, I figured out he was oblivious to them. They were like part of the carpet, the furniture, the walls. They may as well have not even been there, like they were ghosts.

Admittedly this is hard to figure out.

Sometimes you see a “question mark” effeminate guy who is working somewhere. He is extremely popular with the females he works with, and he is always hanging around with them. However, they treat him like he is “one of the girls,” and he acts like “one of the girls.” A straight man in a situation like that would be giving off some pretty strong sexual energy towards the women he was horsing around with. You will notice that the gay man who is being “one of the gals” is not giving off any sexual energy at all towards those women, and they are not giving off any towards him. This is not an easy thing to pick up on, but if you are good at observing humans, you can sort of figure it out after a while.

Things that indicate nothing:

1. Behavior. Degree of effeminacy or masculinity is not indicative of anything at all. The range of normal behaviors among straight men is vast. Many straight men are on the effeminate/androgynous/soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho spectrum. So are most if not all gay men. Many gay men are not even effeminate at all. Instead, they are more the soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho types. As such, they overlap with a vast population of straight men, and it is quite hard to sort it all out.

So many people double down on behavior when really it’s the biggest red herring of all, and at the end of the day, it literally means nothing. I have known huge numbers of straight men who have been accused of being gay or bi their whole lives, apparently based solely on outward behavior.

2. Married or not. Means nothing in particular, though most married guys are not all that gay. A lot of single guys are gay, but huge numbers of them are not. Quite a few long term, never married bachelors are actually straight.

3. Dating history. Means nothing in the sense that a guy with no women around is not necessarily gay. The number of straight men with no females in their lives for whatever reason is very high. Many long-term incel guys who have never had anything sexual going on with women their whole lives are actually straight. Anyway, homosexuality is not determined by the absence of sex with women but by the presence of sex with men.

Thinking About Gay Rights

Repost from the old site.

Homosexuality – it’s a subject, that, as a straight man, I’m not wild about writing about, because as soon as you do, our insane society usually starts wondering WHY you are writing about such a thing. But you may be wondering what this blog’s position is on gay rights. In case you are wondering, this blog supports gay rights fully, including non-discrimination laws, adoption and foster parent rights and full gay marriage.

However, I feel that at times gay-rights activists go over the line, for instance, the latest case regarding Microsoft’s neutral stance on a gay rights bill in the Washington Legislature. The gay-rights jihadis are going ballistic all over the Internet about this, because Microsoft has taken a “neutral” stance on a gay-rights bill. Is that over the line or what?

My feelings on gay rights are based on my view that homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual attraction levels are 100% fixed in the human male by age 15, or possibly younger. That’s attraction levels, not behavior. Behavior is malleable in the human male – attraction levels are not.

Therefore, after age 15, there is no need to worry about any male “catching” homosexuality or bisexuality, at least in terms of what they are attracted to. I spent a long time studying this subject and the latest scientific evidence indicates that male attraction levels are indeed fixed by at least age 15.

Allow me to elaborate. This means levels of attraction. In other words, your average straight male shows maximal attraction to females and minimal attraction to males. Your average male homosexual has maximal attraction to males and minimal attraction to females. There is also a suggestion that most straight males have minimal gay attraction, and most gay males have minimal straight attraction.

There are males who are bisexually oriented, who may have, say, 70% attraction to females and 30% to males, or 50% to females and 50% to males, or 70% to males and 30% to females, all up and down the decimal scale. We can actually measure these attraction levels in the lab. This has nothing to do, however, with intensity of attraction.

In other words, a heterosexual male with a very low sex drive may not have much sexual interest in women. A bisexual male who is evenly attracted to males and females may have a very high sex drive (in fact, they often do) and may have tremendous sexual interest in females.

However, male homosexual behavior, or males having sex with males (MSM) is quite possibly contagious; it certainly is in many cases, and I have seen this with my own eyes.

Those straights who worry themselves sick about males “catching” homosexuality may wish to obsess about the fact that MSM behavior can be contagious, and its prevalence may rise or dip depending on the degree to which it is accepted, promoted, condemned or discouraged in society.

But they shouldn’t worry about males “catching” homosexual attraction. It’s either there to some degree or it’s not, and it doesn’t move around.

However, neither should anyone feel pressured into such behavior. I feel a bit strange when male homosexual behavior is completely normalized to the point where straight men are considered “quaint”, as I learned in my many years in gay-overrun Hollywood. Personally, I am quite happy to live in a quiet mountain town where the homo- and bisexuals are quite discreet about it, and few in number.

The feeling of going to the coffee shop and having 20 gay men slavering at me while I order coffee, or of seeing hundreds of gay men rubbernecking me every day as they drive alone, cruising, down the roads, or having gay men flirt with me or ogle me wherever I go in town, or in any store I go into, is something I can do without.

Not to mention the continuous suspicion from others that I might be gay myself, which is quite common in gay-overrun zones. The reason is because in these zones there is so much homosexuality around that lots of folks (mostly the straights) are always going around “wondering” if this or that single male is gay or bi.

If people see you out with a male friend at a restaurant or a nightclub, they suspect the guy must be your lover. At least that’s the way it was for me. So many people have homosexuality “on the brain” in these crazy zones that they are always jumping to conclusions about who is gay.

Furthermore, in gay-overrun zones, homosexual behavior becomes so normalized that many men end up engaging in varying degrees of bisexual behavior, including men who are married or engaged. When I worked in Beverly Hills, I figured out that about 1/3 of the men were gay or bi, including apparently my married boss.

In these gay zones, there’s also a lot of pressure on single males to engage in MSM behaviors, a lot of on the job sexual harassment of males, including of straight males (I was fired once by a gay boss for not having sex with him) and a lot of hatred for celibate or dateless males, even if you are only temporarily doing without.

Sex is also deeply commodified in these areas and in urban US society in general. Allow me some examples of behaviors that are extremely common and totally accepted in these zones:

It is seen as completely normal to demand sex in return for this or that favor or to blackmail a newly-jobless roommate (male or female) for sex in lieu of the rent they can’t pay.

You see many cases of gay men offering jobs and roommate situations to straight, single men with “no strings”, then a few weeks into the new living/working situation, demanding sex on penalty of losing your job or your place to live. This has happened to friends.

In urban US society in general, sex is all tied in with money, and rather than seeing this commodification of sex as a sleazification of human existence (my opinion) this commodification is cynically regarded as completely normal, “the way it is”, and those who object are regarded as evil, puritanical, sick, disturbed morality police.

These zones are what we might call “hypersexualized zones”, where we almost have a Sexual Dictatorship. Everyone has to be “doing it” all the time, well, at least the single males anyway. Single males have to have a date every weekend, and preferably during the week too. Males who are seen as not active, even temporarily, are ridiculed or regarded as deeply sick and disturbed, or even evil and immoral.

In short, these zones have transformed themselves into the very depraved, degenerated, sick societies that so many pious Muslims and Christians rail about. And these pious folks have a point. There is no reason sexual behavior should be mandated in order to become a normal citizen.

If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. If you want to be celibate for any length of time, go for it. If you want to be straight, be straight. If you’re gay, be that way. If you want to act on your bisexual urges, be my guest. Feel free to have as few, or as many partners as you wish. I really don’t care, and I can’t see how any of the above has anything to do with morality or normalcy.

I can’t see how any type or degree of sexual behavior is immoral in any way. That includes everything from sex orgies, promiscuity, prostitution, porn stars, pornography, all the way to those who are monogamous for life, or celibate for any length of time, including a lifetime.

It’s sign of the sickness of all of the major religions, including Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism and Hinduism, that these religions even bother to comment at all on sexual behaviors. Sex is simply outside the moral sphere of religion. No type of sexual behavior of any type, degree, or number of partners has any bearing whatsoever on the normal purview of religion – how to be a good person.

Here in the mountains, gays are essentially invisible and may as well be nonexistent, hardly anyone thinks I’m gay and I don’t have to deal with gay/bi men ogling me, flirting with me, rubbernecking me or coming on to me scores of times every single day. In other words, it’s a normal town, and it feels a lot better.

Perhaps you are also wondering why I am so defensive about celibacy. Well, my life has been interesting. Without going into too many details, I shall explain.

I have gone through periods in my life of being deluged by attractive females, such that my life would have been the envy of many males. On the other hand, I have also had periods of celibacy and datelessness lasting weeks, months and even years! On top of all that, I have also been monogamous for varying lengths of time.

And I can’t see how my behavior in any of the above periods made me a better or worse person to the slightest degree.

Women Can Get Sex Anytime They Want, Men Can’t

A female friend of mine is surprised that there are young, intelligent, single guys who aren’t getting any. But this is the typical line of women. They always assume that guys can get laid anytime they want to, and they are amazed that there are any guys who aren’t getting any, or who haven’t gotten any in some time.

This is because a single, attractive woman has guys after her all the time. She can get laid anytime she wants to. I have been told that even homely and heavy women can more or less get laid anytime they want to, if they want to lower their standards enough. This is because guys always want to fuck, and a lot of guys will just fuck anything. My neighborhood is full of heavy and homely women, some very homely and very heavy, sometimes both. They’ve more or less all got men, and the ones that don’t seem to be doing without by choice.

Lots of guys can’t get women, or can hardly get a woman. Of all ages. It’s more or less normal for single guys in general. This whole idea that any single guy can get laid any time he wants to is just insane if you ask me.

I know a lot of guys who have gone years without so much as having a date. Good looking, intelligent guys with good jobs of all ages ranging from 23-50. And a lot of single guys go on long dry spells. I know a 52 year old virgin. In my old town, it was well known that there were some guys, not gay, who had never been seen with a woman.

Now some of these guys are kind of weird, some are angry, some are shy, but some of are none of the above.

I’m not surprised that some commenters on this site are having a hard time getting women. That’s just normal to me.

Women don’t give it up that easily, and they usually want something in return. The ~15% alphas get ~85% of best women, and a lot of the rest of guys are left holding the bag.

Even in this poor town, I don’t have many women after me these days. I’m not young anymore, but a few women have said I look great for my age, better than most guys my age. I’m not pathologically shy, and I can have a pretty slick personality. I dated hundreds of women, I know women very well, I know how to act around them and how to play the game.

Nevertheless, I go around town, and honestly, most women don’t even give me a second look most of the time. Young women almost universally ignore me, apparently due to age. I can barely even look at them or even try to talk to them, even if they are at the counter while I’m buying something.

They typically assume that I’m trying to pick up on them, but I’m usually just trying to talk . They tend to shut down the conversations really quickly. When I talk to them again, I say almost nothing, because conversation is closed off.

I even have a reputation in a few places as being an aging lecher, and I never even asked any of them out. All I made the mistake of doing was looking at them and trying to engage them in conversation. There are a few I still talk to, but I am totally paranoid the whole time I am talking to them to make sure I’m cool and don’t say anything weird or especially anything that is remotely sexual in any way.

The weird thing is I think now I have a reputation for trying to pick up on young chicks, or younger women period. It’s nonsense. The only reputation I deserve is trying to have a conversation. If  I’m trying to pick up on you, you’re going to know. At the very least, I am going to be flirting with you very heavily and openly, and if I’m serious, I’m going to ask you for your phone number. If I’m not asking for your number, I’m not trying to pick you up, real simple. How women think you’re trying to fuck them when you ask about the weather is beyond me.

Honestly, I don’t think even women my age look at me all that much. Most of them aren’t much to look at anymore anyway, and most of them  seem like they aren’t horny anymore either. A lot of them are pretty unhappy too. They look bad; they feel bad. Great. I look at them and think, “Yuck.”

I think I am at the age where I’m not seen as attractive by women in general. I’m grandpa to the young uns, and the older ones are burned out and out of the game.

I have good social skills, probably still have good looks, am funny, very smart, have lot of experience with women and know how to talk and act around them. If I have this many problems, I could imagine what other guys are going through, especially those without much experience or don’t know very well how to talk or act around women.What about guys who are shy, nervous, weird, lack social skills? I can’t see it.

The fact that guys just can’t get it any old time in general like women can is why guys just say fuck it and get married. Men claim they marry for love, but really they marry for sex. Steady, reliable, no hassle, regular sex. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. It’s right there in your bed every night, and all you have to do is ask.

Incel Support Site

I found that this site, for the support of the involuntarily celibate, to be fascinating. We recently had a commenter on the site state that he was 40 and has never had luck with women. Another said that he was 30 and was still a virgin (whatever that means). I would to give complete support to both of these guys and any others in that boat. Most single guys go through periods, often long ones, when they are not having any sex. I certainly have. So most single guys are involuntarily celibate for some time or other.

In reality, the site is really is not about incels which is what most single guys are at one point or another, but is more about male virgins. Worse than merely being virginal, it appears that many of them have had no sexual or romantic experience at all in any way whatsoever.

We get to the quandary of what exactly is a virgin. A guy who runs through his teen years making out with dozens of girls but never sticks his dick in one is hardly what we are talking about here. Any genital sex at all, oral, manual, anal or intercourse, ought to qualify as loss of virginity. The intercourse cult has got to go.

There are also women on the board. Many single women go through periods, often long ones, of celibacy, but for most of them, it seems more voluntary than it is with the guys. Women seem to be able to do celibacy better than most guys anyway.

There are quite a few fascinating threads on the site, and I can’t stop reading it.

Lots of people are assumed to be virgins or sexually inexperienced. I was asked that as a young man, when I had had lots of sex under my belt. But if I was going through an incel period or they had never seen me with a women, the assumption was automatically that I was some kind of a virgin. I was always a rather shy and quiet introverted type too, so that just adds fuel to the fire. People always assume introverts never get laid.

I even get asked that at this late date. Some moron friend of mine asked me a few years ago if I was a virgin, if I’d ever had a date or if I’d ever had a girlfriend. Weird, with my experience. But lately I’m usually not seen with a woman, so all of my wild past evaporates into thin air. People only know what they see anyway.

Who Doesn’t Like to Have Sex? Lots of People

In response to the Black People Like to Fuck post, tulio notes:

Who the hell doesn’t like to fuck. Isn’t mating nature’s strongest instinct? If we didn’t all get horny and like fucking we’d be extinct eons ago.

First of all the observation of disgusted European explorers was not that Blacks liked to fuck, but they were just too into it and obsessed with it. From Shakespeare’s time on at least, there is a long European intellectual tradition acknowledging that White people do indeed like to fuck.

Actually, lots of people don’t like to fuck. Especially after they get older. It’s a notorious problem in females. ~40% of all females complain of low sex drive. These ladies need some pills! Break out the female Viagra, docs. Do it for the country!

Around age 35, especially after they have had a few kids, a lot of women become sexophobes and start hating sex. The overt sexophobes are most prominent between ages of 35-45. I have met a few of them myself. They openly told me that they did not like sex. All of them were married and had had a few kids. At least one was good looking. Why their husbands put up with this is a mystery.

I had a girlfriend recently who was 50 years old. She told me that all or nearly all of her old friends from high school had recently confessed to her that they never liked sex. They had put up with it with their husbands long enough to have some kids, then they had basically stopped doing it. The only reason they did it was to keep him happy and make some babies. When the kids grew, they more or less quit doing it and felt a lot better. My girlfriend was a sex-lover (At age 50, she even masturbated regularly, which seems odd for that age), and she was mystified and stunned by her friends’ revelations.

It is very common for men to complain of lack of sex, especially after about 7 years of marriage. This is the so called 7 year itch problem dealt with in movies.

Some guys are making women sign pre-nups agreeing to sex 3 times a week or so. At the point the woman is not living up to her duties, he has a right to leave her no problem. The women sign the agreement on the dotted line like good girls. More pre-nups like this!

There are indeed men who do not like sex. A woman I dated had a husband like that. The guy only wanted sex about once a month or so, if that. For the first 6 months of their marriage, it had been non-stop sex, then it all ended. As a result of that and her very high sex drive (confirmed by me in a number controlled experiments), she had been having a series of affairs since the first year of her marriage. The guy had been “molested” by his sister repeatedly as a boy and was seriously fucked in the head as a result, apparently permanently. She still loved the guy, so she would not leave him.

Poonicaid – The Right to Sex Under Socialism

Ferdinand Bardamu has the details. I agree completley.

This would be the anthem of my socialist state (apologies to Bob Dylan):

Well, they’ll ball ya when you’re trying to be so good
They’ll lay ya just a-like they said they would
They’ll screw ya when you’re tryin’ to go home
Then they’ll fuck ya when you’re there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get boned

Well, they’ll beat ya when you’re walkin’ ’long the street
They’ll jerk ya when you’re tryin’ to keep your seat
They’ll bone ya when you’re walkin’ on the floor
They’ll ball ya when you’re walkin’ to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get boned

They’ll fellate ya when you’re at the breakfast table
They’ll masturbate ya when you are young and able
They’ll fuck ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck
They’ll suck ya and then they’ll say, “good luck”
Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get boned

Well, they’ll hump you and say that it’s the end
Then they’ll jack you and then they’ll come back again
They’ll lick you when you’re riding in your car
They’ll bang you when you’re playing your guitar
Yes, but I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get boned

Well, they’ll bone you when you walk all alone
They’ll bone you when you are walking home
They’ll finger you and then say you are brave
They’ll ride you when you are set down in your grave
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get boned

Where Do Anxiety Disorders Fit in on the Alpha – Beta – Omega Continuum?

I asked this question of Ferdinand Bardamu, the fine blogger at In Mala Fide. I deal with a lot anxiety-disordered folks online, often doing some kind of online therapy with them. Mostly, I prefer to deal with OCD sufferers, since I have that too. I’m told that I’m quite good at it, but to me, it’s just common sense, which is all any good therapy is really.

Anyway, I got to thinking where this OCD behavior is on the Alpha -Beta – Omega spectrum. On thing is for sure, it can definitely turn women off. I know guys with this illness who have not had sex in 20 years. Depending on the nature of the obsessions, it can really turn women off and lead to a lot of avoidance. I’ve also noticed that a lot of these guys seem to have issues with occasional impotence, and sometimes longer-lasing impotence. That seems to go along with the anxiety stuff.

I also noticed that some of these guys have girlfriends. Some of them are getting a lot of sex too. Some are deeply depressed, even suicidal. Others complain to their girlfriends all the time that they are worried that they are child molesters, even though they are not. Incredibly, their women put up with this, love them dearly, stick by them through thick and thin, and even give them lots of sex. Some of the women are pretty good looking too.

I’m no stranger to the type of bullshit behavior these guys are engaging in, though I’m over much of it as I age. My experience was that depression and anxiety were serious killers for relationships with women. They aroused contempt and raging hatred. It’s true that some of them felt sorry for me too, and there were a lot of good times in there, but I came away with a nasty taste in my mouth.

My questions to Ferdinand were whether this was Beta or Omega behavior on the part of the guys, and how it was possible that these guys had hot, horny, loving women who put up with this shit.

Ferdinand:

The easiest way to think of the alpha-beta-omega spectrum is like this:

alpha – inherently attractive to women
beta - neither attractive nor repulsive to women
omega – inherently repulsive to women

Betas are like your average guy – a few issues maybe, but they can function on a day to day basis and are more or less normal. I’d say 60-80 percent of men are beta. Omegas are like homeless bums or ultra-dorky World of Warcraft shut-ins with hygiene issues – people on the margins of society and are pretty much loathed by everyone.

I’d say having extreme, crippling anxiety when women are around (as opposed to the normal anxiety that most guys have) is omega. Basically any trait that would impede not only getting with women but just being a functioning, social human being is omega. For more info, you might want to read this blog.

he guy who writes it describes himself as an omega and has more first-hand knowledge of social dysfunction then I do.

As for how some of ‘em have girlfriends, it may be because they have other redeeming attributes that balance out their issues. There’s a class of girls who would be attracted to a guy like that because they view him as a “project” and think they can fix him with their love or something. Of course, they have to be attracted to him to begin with.

And there are some chicks who like wimpy guys. Outliers, but they exist. I was in college when the whole emo fad was starting to get big. One of my roommates was a whiny little bitch who was emo to a tee – lispy voice, effeminate manner and dress, complained all the time. Only thing he didn’t do was slit his wrists. He basically had a rotating harem of three or four girls for the months that I knew him. Some girls just find that shit cute. Don’t know why.

The Sexual Marketplace for a 50 Year Old Man

I’m 52. At my age, almost everyone is fat. Further, I can’t really get hot chicks anymore like I used to be able to. Maybe the hot ones my age, (Yes! There are some very hot women over 50, and even over 55!) but they are very hard to get, and you’re fighting all the other guys for them anyway so it’s almost not worth it. Plus all the hotties my age all want money bigtime, I mean bigtime. I dated one a while back, and she kindly let me go telling me I didn’t make enough money.

There’s not an incredible amount of competition. Keep in mind at my age 22% of all men are impotent. I guess that means can’t get it up without Viagra.

A lot of married couples my age, at least the White ones, have simply given up on sex. The typical line is that the White women put up with sex for years until she had her kids, then she pretty much gave it up after 35 or so, and the guys didn’t really complain, just got fat, drank beer, competed in the workplace instead, or watched football, all the while bragging to us single guys how great the married life was and when am I going to take the plunge like they did? How bout never , tools!

The young women who do like me are often at best average, or fat. If you can get an average young woman at my age, you are doing great. Forget all the hotties you got when you were young. That’s over forever. The only guys who have a chance with them are guys who have money and or fame or power. Even then, it might be a bit of a tough sell.

So if you’re going to be picky like you were when you were younger at my age, you are simply getting no sex at all, period.

The Epidemic of Situational Male Homosexuality in the US

First of all, I’m straight. I’m only attracted to females. I’m maximally attracted to females and minimally attracted to males, if at all. Also, I don’t do it with guys. Refuse to. And have to desire to either. In fact, I’m repelled by the notion.

From about 1979-1986, I witnessed an incredible amount of situational homosexuality among mostly young White men in Southern California. The men were generally in their 20′s, about 22-30 or so, though there were some all the way to middle age.

In terms of the situational homosexuality, I think most of them were either straight or mostly straight.

I also had to deal with endless gay and bisexual men after me, but that was another matter altogether.

I followed up on a number of these situational guys, and they later married, settled down, moved to the suburbs, got high paying jobs, had a couple of kids, and I assume gave up the gay shit altogether.

Some of these guys were truly bisexual, but truly bi guys who have strong attraction to females can always give it up. The ones I knew had very strong attractions to females. I know because they were my best friends for a long time. They also had some strong attractions to men, and I could sometimes see that they were struggling with that.

A friend of mine is stunned about the levels of this stuff that I am reporting. But it’s true, and I know it is. Why did they want me? I’m not sure. As a young man, I was very good looking in a pretty boy, male model – actor kind of way. I had offers from Hollywood and modeling studios. Of course, during this period, I had females of all ages after me all the time too, so I wasn’t all that worried. If it was only guys, I would have started worrying.

Thing is, if these guys were going to hit on anyone, they would hit on me. Why? Not sure. Maybe strong good looks, maybe that lots of people back then were certain that I was gay or bi so they thought they could get away with it without getting their asses kicked. All I know is that I lived a nightmare like this for a number of years.

You have absolutely no idea how many guys are into this stuff; I don’t know what the numbers are, but they must be incredibly high. For young men, figures ranging from 13-25% would not surprise me one bit. But as they age, a lot of them drop out and knock it off. It must diminish a lot by the 30′s.

But I also had middle aged guys, macho guys, cops – even officers like sergeants, married men with little kids, on and on. A lot of them, you wouldn’t really think they were gay or bi at all. Because although gay men are almost always effeminate, bisexual guys or situationally gay guys can act any way you can imagine. They can act like the most macho guys on Earth.

I remember once I made friends with this guy was said he was bi, but I think he was mostly gay. We were over at his place, and he hit on me. I turned him down, then he confessed. He whipped out this set of about 50 photos. Young White guys, 18-25, all construction workers on local sites. Really tough, hardass working class guys. He’d sucked all their cocks. I guess you just lie back, close your eyes and pretend it’s a woman.

The only thing you can be sure of with a really macho guy is he’s not completely or even mostly gay. However, femininity and effeminacy are related to male homosexual behavior. Quite a few wimpy, girly or faggy guys are into gay stuff, and the more sissy they are, the more likely that they are into it. So femininity is a marker for male homosexual behavior to a strong degree. But there are completely straight men who act queer as the Ace of Spades.

There were other guys, well, they had some feelings that way, you could tell, but it was obvious that they did not want to act on it. Those guys aren’t gay or bi or situational or anything. I’m simply convinced that a lot of young men have a low level of attraction to other guys that they don’t wish to act on at all.

I was very good looking as a young man, and a lot of guys, not really gay at all, are attracted to very goodlooking men. That’s why guys hate pretty boys so much. They get turned on by pretty boys, and they have a gay attraction in their makeup, however minor, and it drives them furious that they feel this way. So they see a pretty boy, think, “Look at that fag!” and feel like beating him up.

At the time, in Southern California, there was nothing wrong with this situational gay stuff. I spoke out against this fagging off bullshit and was condemned as “evil” for doing that.

There was a while when I wasn’t having sex with anyone, and I wasn’t even dating that much, and I was told I was “evil” for doing that too. Truth is, I was desperate for sex, but there just wasn’t much going on for whatever reason, not my choice. I just wasn’t getting any for various reasons, mostly shyness.

At that time though, everyone had to be fucking someone 100% of the time. If you had no luck with women, then you had to go fuck some guy. Anything but the evil of celibacy. This was late 70′s through mid 80′s at the peak of the Sexual Revolution.

A friend of mine asked me if guys are desperate these days. I don’t think so.

In my Dad’s generation, there was little to no sex before marriage. Guys hardly fagged off at all. I don’t know what they did instead, maybe jack it.

In many countries, that’s still pretty much the case. If a young man wants sex, he needs to get married. Otherwise, no sex. Young guys have a tradition of buying whores in these places to lose their virginity and become men.

So young men 30 years ago in Southern California were not desperate at all historically and on a world scale. I would say that on a world scale in time, single men in Southern California 30 years ago were getting record amounts of sex from women.

But during that era, you were always supposed to be having sex. Young single guys are probably not going to be getting constant sex. If you want that, you get married. Even back then, it was common or even typical to find young guys who, while not virgins or never had a date types, had no particular woman at the time. Dry spells.

Then again, a lot of guys who came after me were married, had steady women, lived with women, etc. I assume they were getting plenty of sex, or they could have if they wanted to.

I conclude that situational homosexuality or bisexuality is a pretty significant part of a lot of young men’s lives, and in most cases it probably fades with age. It needn’t be that way. In a proper society, situational homosexuality would be minimal.

Believe me, I have utmost respect for men who are truly gay or deeply bisexual. I know they can’t help it. If guys turned me on as much as women do, I would have a hard time turning it down. I’d probably be out screwing guys like crazy, HIV be damned. If guys turned me on as much as women do, and women not at all, I hope I would have the guts to be gay.

But situational homosexuality is just that. It’s totally elective behavior, and they can knock it off anytime they want to.

The surveys are all wrong.

New surveys are done with complete anonymity. They take you into a room with a computer, and you fill out the questionnaire. No one knows who you are, and a computer program reads it.

They are getting very high scores of male homosexual behavior, male crime, even violent crime, and male drug use, even hard drugs. I saw a recent survey done on computers with total anonymity that had 13% of young Canadian guys engaging in regular gay sex. I would guess that of that number, only 30% are truly gay. The rest are something else.

This is the thing. You really need to have strong societal prohibitions against situational male homosexuality. Either that or mandate early marriage, cheap or free prostitution or force young women, possibly at gunpoint, to have sex with young men. None of those last three are really possible.

Hence stigma is the only thing that keeps men from doing this. If you take the prohibition off of male homosexual behavior, as modern gay rights wants to, guys will engage in tons of situational homosexuality.

The only thing stopping them is stigma.