If a Woman Is Afraid of You, Is She Consenting To Sex?

Anonymous writes:

It turns out that many females give in to sex with males out of sheer fear. I do not think it is acceptable to terrorize any female into having sex with you.

The great question is, what if you do not know she is afraid of you? Trying to see it from the perspective of the Indian men, she willingly entered their house, willingly got into the bed, willingly took off clothes, without any force or threat from them. It sure as hell looks consensual to them.

As a very big guy (almost 6’4″, 250), I’ve been in situations where — I learned later — people, particularly women, were actually afraid of me and I didn’t know it til much later. In most cases, I hadn’t given them any real reason to be afraid, but for some reason they were. In one or two cases I had hard words to say but due to my size and intimidating appearance,

Thank God none of those were sexual situations (I’m a religious monogamist). But based on this story, I can easily see how a man could end up having sex, honestly believing it to be consensual, while the woman — who consented only out of fear — could “feel” and “believe” she was raped… and go to the police, or campus security, to report it as such…. destroying the man’s life. .

And the man would, of course, be shocked and outraged when the accusation is made, because he really, truly had no idea she was giving in out of fear. After all, he was nice to her, he didn’t threaten her or use force, she willingly went to bed, willingly disrobed, willingly went along… (maybe she even had an orgasm)…. and NOW she cries rape??

Men.,…just don’t have sex outside marriage. Presumably a woman won’t marry you if she’s got an irrational fear of you.

Women…speak up already. Sheesh.

You don’t pester a woman all night long, jumping on top of her endlessly trying to stick your dick in her, trying to stick your dick in her from the front while your buddy tries to stick his dick in her from behind, you don’t manhandle her tits so bad they hurt for 3-4 days afterwards. She was fighting them off and saying, “No, stop, don’t, get off me,” all fucking night long.

She only took off some of her clothes after endless cajoling by those guys. That’s crap right there. They basically bullied some of her clothes off of her.

Further, she only spent the night at their invitation after they assured her that there would be no sexual behavior. They lied!

There is nothing consensual about anything that happened that night really.

That is RAPEY ass bullshit. That’s all it is. You make some moves on a chick, and if she bats you away and says, “No stop don’t leave me alone, please,” you just leave her the Hell alone.

Pestering a woman like that is RAPEY behavior. You will probably never go down on it, but it is still profoundly dishonorable and creepy behavior.

I will gladly share my bed with any attractive woman whether she wants to have sex with me or not. I have shared a bed with a woman all night long and I did not try to even fuck her. If she doesn’t want to do it, she can sleep in my bed and I certainly will not pester her all night long.

In response to anon’s question though, if you are just a naturally scary guy for whatever reason, of course you are entitled to have as much sex as you want to with as many women as you want to. It’s obviously not rapey to have sex with a woman who is afraid of you, but it is rapey to terrorize or assault women until they give in to you, as these Indian jerk-offs did.

Letter from Rapey, Rapey India

A friend of mine was in India recently. I received email from her when she was there. She told me that the men were very aggressive, creepy and almost rapey. It was difficult to go outside because the men would all stare you down in an excessive, creepy, almost rapey way. In addition, the men were very aggressive sexually, always coming up to her, talking to her and basically obviously trying to pick up on her. The whole scene was so creepy and rapey that she actually dreaded going out. She is a 28 year old Asian-American, so it’s obvious that she is a foreigner.

At one point, I got an email from her telling me that she had almost gotten raped. She had met a couple of Indian men who were very nice and friendly. They invited her back to their place for dinner. She went along with them. They had a very pleasant meal and as it got later, she said she was tired.

They said, “Well, you are too tired to go home, so why don’t you stay here?” There was a huge bed, and they assured her that nothing sexual was going to happen. They would just leave her alone to sleep unmolested. She went along with it. Later that night, the two guys climbed into bed too. I am not sure if they were clothed or not. It was a huge bed, and there was plenty of room for three people. She was wearing a top and pants. They started bothering her. After a lot of cajoling, they convinced her to take her pants off so she was down to her panties. They also got her top off and she was down to her bra.

Then the men kept getting on top of her and trying to penetrate her sexually (not sure exactly how they were trying to do this). One would get on one side and try to penetrate her from the front while another would try to penetrate her from the back. They grabbed at her tits so hard that her breasts hurt for 3-4 days afterwards. They spent much of the night pestering her and trying to get her to have sex with them, but she refused.

I asked why she went along with them. Why had she removed her top and pants? Why hadn’t she left during the night as it was obvious what an uncomfortable scene was unfolding? She told me that she was scared of the guys. She said Indian men are very aggressive and dominant, and these guys were no exception. She had taken off her top and jeans due to fear. She had not left in the night due to fear. There were two of them and one of her, and it seemed safer to stay there than to leave. She told me that she was so scared of them that the just wanted to do everything they said except have sex with them.

I figure this is just Indian guys acting normally in India. It’s also possible that in Indian society, if a woman consents to share a bed with a man, she has consented to sex with them. It also seems as if Indian men regard Western women as “whores” and a prime target for sex, as many Indian women are not available for sex before marriage.

Further, many Indian men have little experience with women and hence behave very aggressively with them. I have noticed this online. Many women complained about the extreme aggressiveness of Indian men online and they told me that they hated all Indian men online.

I run a group for victims of Internet scams, and we used to have group chats. This Indian guy age 25 somehow weaseled his way in there, and he would get on his mike and start describing how he was jacking off now in a really creepy sexual voice. He also told everyone that he was virgin. All of the women absolutely hated this guy and said he was creepy as Hell, but his behavior is rather typical of clueless extreme horndog Indian guys on the Net.

It turns out that many females give in to sex with males out of sheer fear. I do not think it is acceptable to terrorize any female into having sex with you. You shouldn’t be getting sex with women because you have made yourself deliberately so scary that they are afraid to say no to you. I’ve never terrorized any female into having sex with me, and I’ve had tons of sex.

The behavior of these Indian guys was not ok at all. It’s frankly sexual assault. In the US, you don’t get to attack a woman all night long just because you want sex with her. It doesn’t even matter if she is in your bed. It is extremely rapey behavior, and it’s basically criminal, sorry.

You have a right to attack women, that is, grab them, kiss them, or whatever. If she responds positively, then the game is on. If she responds negatively or tells you to back off, at some point the game is off, and you need to give it up. I haven’t engaged in the sort of behavior these guys did ever in my life, and I’ve been around the block quite a bit. I always figured that if you have to pester her or continuously assault her until she gives in, it’s not even going to be worth it.

That said, no DA will press charges on this sort of thing in the US. It’s a date rapey thing, and date rape stuff hardly gets prosecuted. Further, no actual rape occurred, just a lot of assaulty sort of stuff. The cops would say, “Why did you stay with them? Why didn’t you leave?” Anyway, it is a He said, she said sort of thing and those cases almost never see the light of day.

In India, prosecuting a case like this would be hopeless. The cops would not come even if you called them. If they did, they would probably take the woman into custody and rape her themselves. India is probably one of the rapiest countries on Earth, maybe close to South Africa in the running.

The Difficulty of Female to Male HIV Transmission in the US

Dan F. writes:

Hi Bob,

You wrote: “The men all got it from sharing needles or from getting ass fucked by a guy.”

And then when I mentioned Darren James, who was filmed having vaginal sex when infected, you agreed that your statement was incorrect:

“NO! Darren James is the only male porn star who got HIV from a woman. There has not yet been one, one, one, one, one other case yet”

At least, given your acknowledgement, you should change your statement from “all” to the “vast majority.” How can you be so certain that every single male porn star who got HIV didn’t get get it from vaginal sex? Except for the one guy whose moment of infection happens to be documented on video, you really believe no one else has ever been infected this way?

That this has only happened once in history, to Darren James of all people during the scene that is widely available? You are perpetuating a myth! Yes, it is much more likely that a man will give it to a women as you state, but vaginal fluids can enter the urethra. There are plenty of anonymous stories on Avert of men who claim to have been infected through vaginal sex.

Darren James got it from fucking a Brazilian porn star in the ass while down in Brazil. From insertive anal sex. His moment of infection is not a documented instance of vaginal sex on video. The apparently documented infection is a case of anal sex, not vaginal sex.

There have been only a few other HIV infections in the porn industry. John Holmes acquired HIV, but he was also a heavy drug user and he made some gay porn films at the end of his career. Another man got it, found out by a test and faked a test result to keep on working. Whereupon he infected at least one woman. Another man was recently found to be infected. He was a bit coy about how he might have gotten it, but inquiries to people who knew him said that in recent days he had been engaging in gay male prostitution on the side for extra money. So it appears that he acquired HIV homosexually.

29 American women have acquired HIV in the porn industry. Many of them kept on working for a while while they were infected because they did not know they were infected. They had quite a bit of sex with quite a few porn stars. Not one of these males ever got HIV from a woman in the porn industry. My understanding is that not one of these HIV infected female porn stars has given the disease to any of their male partners after they left the industry.

I had an HIV infected Black woman come on here and say that the disease only goes male to female. She has been having sex with her husband for several years after infection, and he is not yet infected. In addition, she said that none of the females she knows who are infected with HIV have ever given it to their husbands or boyfriends.

Insertive heterosexual anal sex is quite a bit more risky than insertive vaginal sex. In a study done in the 1980′s with discordant couples over a 4-5 year period, only 20% of the males had acquired HIV from their wives. After 4-500 instances of vaginal sex, only 20% of the men were infected. So if you have sex with an HIV positive woman 500 times, you have an 80% chance of not getting infected! Those are pretty long odds.

Around 1990, we heard stories out of New York Public Health investigators about how hard it was for this disease to go woman to man. They had had quite a few guys who claimed that they got it from a woman, but the more the investigators questioned them and the people who knew them, almost 100% of these guys eventually broke down and admitted that they got it through other means, either needles or typically through gay sex.

It has been shown that there are high levels of HIV in Black women. The men who gave it to them often insist that they got it from a woman. However, upon investigation, a large number of these male cases were actually acquired by gay sex on the down low. It has now been proven that the vast majority of Black women being infected in the US are getting it from Black men on the down low.

You are much more likely to get it from a woman if you are not circumcised. Uncircumcised men are much more at risk.

The type of HIV found in the US is very hard to transmit woman to man. That is because it mutated into a strictly blood-borne virus for some reason, possibly due to ease of transmission through needles and the high amount of homosexual sex we have in the West. In other parts of the world, the virus is not only blood borne -titers are also high in other fluids.

However, the subtype in the US has very low titers in vaginal fluids. They are so low that one wonders if they can even transmit infection – that is how low they are. And if by chance you do get infected vaginally by a woman, your dose is so low that you often only get a “mild” case of HIV, if such a thing is possible. For instance, Magic Johnson got HIV from a woman 23 years ago, and his symptoms have been so mild that he has not yet even started HIV drugs yet.

One can definitely get HIV from a woman in the US via heterosexual sex. Cases have obviously been documented. However, history shows that it is quite hard for a male to get the disease this way. But via my loose, intuitive and Gestalt approach to the data, it does seem that females are transmitting HIV a bit easier to males these days in the US than they did 20-30 years ago. I have no idea why heterosexual sex is a bit more risky for males in the US than it used to be, but I can tell you that the risk is quite low, and with a condom it is effectively zero.

Golden Bomber – JPop

Whereas the previous KPop boy band that I posted, Shinee, was seriously fagged out, this Japanese Jpop band, Golden Bomber, is not nearly so much. Instead, these are androgynes along the Iggy Pop, Jim Morrison, David Bowie, New York Dolls, Steve Tyler, Mott the Hoople, Mick Jagger lines. Sort of 1970′s glam/rock and roll stuff.

For some reason, I also felt that these guys were heterosexual. They just come off as pretty masculine, much more masculine in fact that the Shinee characters. Incidentally, I looked up Shinee and there is not much evidence that they are gay. One dated a famous Korean movie actress. Others talk about women all the time. A lot of them are young and not dating much as they are too busy all the time. There is only one who may be gay, but no one is sure even about him.

I also looked up Golden Bomber, and all these guys are apparently vigorously heterosexual, as I suspected, but then I am pretty good at figuring this stuff out. The more masculine the man acts, the more likely he is to be more straight, and the Golden Bomber guys have a strong masculine core about their psyches. On the other hand, the more feminine a man is, the more likely he is to be gay. But there are all sorts of exceptions to this rule.

This is even true among gay and bisexual man. The more masculine the gay man acts, the more bisexual is, and the more likely he is to have sex with women or even to be married or have a marriage in his background. The more queeny he is, the more likely he is to be quite gay or purely gay.

This is also true to some extent with straight men. The most vigorously masculine straight men are the most homophobic and the least likely to have any homosexual experience or attraction. As straight males become increasing less macho, more androgynous, feminine or even effeminate, tolerance for homosexuality rises and so does homosexual experimentation or even frank bisexuality. Nevertheless, there are millions of guys on the faggoty spectrum who are 100% heterosexual in thinking and behavior. How do I know this? Because I have met them, and I can tell if a man is completely straight or not. It’s actually quite simple.

Male androgynes are notoriously hard to figure out and are very confusing. They can be anywhere from completely straight to somewhere on the bisexual spectrum to basically gay. In general, they are gigantic sexual question marks.

Rape Paranoia Article of the Day

Here.

A very, very, very stupid article by a silly, ditzy feminist. This idiotic article is now being reposted all over the Blogosphere by silly, moronic feminists. It’s dumb. I don’t even have to start going into the ways it is dumb because it’s just dumb. First of all, rape paranoia is dumb. Violence paranoia is dumb.

We males have way more to fear from other males in the way of violence than females do (though we don’t have to fear rape so much, it is true). Males are simply dangerous. As a male, I have been on the alert for dangerous males and signs of danger and violence even in males I know well for a long time, most of my life in fact. I am frankly quite a bit scared of males myself. I think everyone, not just females, should be scared of males. I see no reason why females should be more afraid of males than we males are. They should probably be less afraid of us males. After all, we males bear the brunt of male violence against other humans.

There’s really no way to get away from the charge that one is a dangerous man. I’ve been dealing with the “dangerous” charge most of my life, but there’s not a lot of evidence to back it up. I’ve only spent 6 hours in jail. I’ve never been to prison. I’ve never even been charged with a violent crime. I’d say that I’ve never even committed one either, but you wouldn’t believe that.

I’ve committed very little violence against women in my life. I have committed some, but those women all assaulted me or tried to assault me first. They threw water in my face. They slapped my face. They chased me around an airport waiting area swinging on me and kicking at me. So, yeah, they all got hit. You women don’t want to me to hit you? Hey, no problem! Just don’t assault me first baby!

I am quite proud to say that I have never raped a woman or a girl. Of course I have been accused of that too, but it was a lie. She was drunk. I was drunk. We were both drunk. It was as consensual as things get between two drunks. Then again, my definition of rape is different from the feminist daffynition of rape.

The feminist daffynitions of rape are in bold below:

Ever had sex with a woman who said no? Yep, once. You see, there’s yessy no’s and there’s nooey no’s. This was a real yessy no. Yessy no’s mean yes, not no. Only nooey no’s mean no. She was saying, “Noooooooooo,” like she was having an orgasm. I listened, and I decided that was a yessy no, not a nooey no, so I proceeded accordingly. All was well and good after that!

Even had sex with a female who had been drinking or using drugs? LOL, I am trying to think of how many times I did it with a female who was not high or drunk. According to feminuts, if you have sex with a woman who was high or drunk, it’s rape. In that case, I am proud to say I must be one of the biggest rapists out there.

Ever had sex with a female who did not explicitly give you permission to have sex with her? LOL, I am not sure any female has ever in my life said, “Ok, I agree to have sex with you, Bob.” They have said similar things, like asking me flat out, “Bob, let’s have sex.” But mostly I just attack them. That means assault them. That means grope them. That means grab them. That means attack them. Then we just proceed from there and move on to the sex.

Ever groped, grabbed, attacked or assaulted a female? Yep. By attack or assault, I just mean that I got physical with them without asking their permission. I just jump on them. Push them up against a wall and start kissing them. Grab them and start kissing them and feeling them up. According to feminist idiots, that’s called “assaulting” and “attacking.” They also say it’s illegal; they claim it is something called “sexual assault,” and they say you can go to jail or prison for it. That’s funny because I have grabbing females my whole life and I haven’t been arrested yet. To be honest, few of them even complained.

Ever had sex with a woman because she was afraid of you? Who knows? Maybe. Women have been telling me that they are afraid of me for most of my life. But then they go ahead and do it with me anyway. According to feminuts, if you’re a scary guy, it’s always rape. In a nutshell, you never legally get laid. If a woman is afraid of you because you’re scary, and she has sex with you because she’s afraid to say no to you because you’re a scary dude, well, that’s rape. And that’s about the most BS-ey notion of rape yet!

Social Distortion, “Under My Thumb”

Orange County punk rock from the early 1980′s! Fantastic! I saw these guys at some ballroom (?) in Anaheim (?) around October 1982. I forget who went with me. A lot of hot little punker chicks, or punker bitches, or whatever you want to call them. Some were bitches, some were just chicks. They played this song. It was out of this world!

Really weird thing about the hardcore punk scene at the time was that most of the punker chicks were bisexual, but most of the punk guys were straight and really hated male homosexuality. Those few males were were homosexually oriented were typically bisexual (see Darby Crash and Pat Smear of the Germs). There weren’t that many flat out lesbian punker chicks.

It worked out this way because of the highly aggro nature of the scene. When males are highly masculinized, they become fiercely heterosexual and hate male homosexuality. When females get pretty aggressive (frankly masculinized) there is a movement towards lesbianism or female bisexuality.

Why there was not a lot of overt lesbianism in the scene, I am not sure, but those aggro punker chicks really liked hard, tough, rough, badass hypermasculine punker guys. The whole scene just worshiped this kind of masculine and aggressive behavior. Lesbians hate nothing so much as aggressive or masculine males, which is odd since they act so masculine themselves. So much about homosexuality doesn’t seem to make much sense.

The lead singer’s name is Mike Ness. I think he was on heroin at some point, but I could be wrong.

Advice to a 26-Year-Old Man

Repost from the old site.

At age 26, you can get tons and tons of sex if you want to, and you don’t even need any money. Hook up with a woman about 28-34 yrs old with a college education. If you are a student, she will think that you have tremendous potential. If you are out of school and working but not making enough, at least you will be working.

You can actually make some money in your 20′s, especially your late 20′s, even though the whole world is united against you in making money since you are too young. It is here that you understand the war of the Old Men on the Young Men, and how it keeps young men poor.

A woman around 28-34 is at the peak of her sex drive, just about, especially the 34 yr old. Well, if you want to, you can have sex for hours a day or three or four times throughout the day. This is known as acquiring a Sex Maniac Girlfriend.

This age for a man is fantastic, because at age 26, some women are actually letting men bang them all the time who are not their husbands, and they do not even charge for the sex either, which makes no sense in Female Logic, as sex is usually a commodity to be traded to the male for money.

In many cases resulting in a female scam called “all her money is for her and all your money is for her.”

And all this while you are not even married.

These women will hate you in a way for your lack of money and sex mania, but a man that age can easily have sex three or four times a day and even have sex for maybe hours a day, though try not to damage your dick if you do it. It might only last a couple of months, but it will be the best couple of months you ever had in your whole life. And you don’t even have to get married either! Haha!

She will have other guys either dumped on the side or else actively going, and may temp you with stuff like, “This weekend I am going off with one of my other boyfriends. The BLACK boyfriend!”

She will accuse you of being an animal in bed, which will be a truthful assertion.

She will say all that you ever want to do is have sex, which will also be true, and that the only reason you are around all the time is to fuck her, and that is all you even care about. This may be true but requires endless deep contemplation and meditation.

She will suggest that you hate women and that you have been hating them your whole life, even though you have been trying to screw everything that moves and has a skirt for years. This may set off endless worrying, but not necessarily.

Perhaps you do hate women, and if so what of it? It’s actually a love hate thing, and as long as you don’t hit them or insult them too much, it’s pretty fun, and it’s probably not even true anyway.

She will say you are the biggest sex maniac she has ever known, and this is probably true. You may now wear the Sex Maniac button proudly.

You will try to go buy a new Sex Maniac Girlfriend, but they are sort of hard to find, and most of them are getting into the age where they are charging bigtime for the pleasures of banging them. But you will always have memories.

Get a Woman To Get Women

This is another in a series of articles where I try my hand at Game Theory, which is basically showing guys how to get women. This is a collaborative exercise. In other words, I am not Joe Stud teaching losers who can’t get women how to get one. This is a collaborative effort whereby males share their knowledge and experience as far as what works to get women.

One thing that I would like to say is very painful. It’s this:

You need to get a woman to get women. Or, you need to have a woman to get women. You get one woman, now you get more. See? The problem with this is, What about the guy who has no women, or, worse, who has never had any at all? I don’t want to say he is up the creek, but his prospects do not look too good.

If you had success with females in the past, then typically you can parlay that into more success in the future. So in that case, you don’t need to have a woman to get a woman. If you had a woman, you can get a woman. Or if you had women (better yet) you can get new ones.

The one common requirement here is experience and success. As with so much else in life, what to say to those poor souls who lack either or both? I do not know what to say to such a person.

However, there was a time in my teens when I had little or no success with females. At 16, I had hardly even been kissed. I overheard my father talking to my Mom in bed one night. “I am really worried about him,” my Dad said. “He doesn’t have any girlfriends!” My Mom said, “Don’t worry, he is still young.”

This sent a shiver of terror running down my spine. My own father was worried I was a faggot! This was back in the day when we thought homosexuality was contagious. Basically, all males started out straight but through some distortion of their self-image and sexuality, some straight males simply “turned gay.” A lot of us seemed to be worried about the prospect of “turning gay,” from conversations with my friends. And I read a Playboy statistic back in the 1970′s that said that 62% of all males have worried at some point or another in their lives whether they were gay or not. Probably for most of them it was but a passing worry.

Anyway, after hearing that, I resolved that I better to get myself some chicks right quick lest I turn into a homo! I grew my hair long, started smoking dope and listening to rock and roll. Wild fights with my father, sometimes fistfights, ensued. He as much as called me a faggot. He would sit there glaring at me at the dinner table, finally pounding his fist on the table. “Goddamn it!” he would scream. “You look like Veronica Lake!” Some old days movie star with fine curls. Which I had. Fine curls that is.

Anyway, all it took was the long hair, the dope and the rock and roll and pretty soon the chicks started rolling right on in. My Dad was furious that I was no longer a nerd. I dumped all my idiot, pussy, often somewhat fagged-out nerd friends who had no females in sight. I quit going to Chess Club meetings. Looking back on it, maybe I should not have dumped these nerds. One is now a brain surgeon, and the other owns a factory. Neither of these guys ever got any pussy, but I figure they must have got some by now. They lacked charm being nerds, but money has its own subtle allure you know.

Anyway, at one point in my life, I had zero experience, and pretty soon, I had quite a bit. I am not sure how I did it. It helped that at my age (16) most guys were complete failures as far as girls went. People were kind to me when I joined the hipster club.

At any rate, confidence helps. Even if you have dated 75-100 females, you can reach a point in your life when your confidence is zero. It won’t be appealing.

If you’re not having any success, I would urge you to shut up about it. I learned that awful quick. Back in the 1970′s, you were allowed about 3 weeks with no chick. After that, you were Loser City. Any females found out you had not girl in your life, they would start laughing and humiliating you right to your face. A few times, I offered that I had no chick in my life, and I might want one. I generally just got laughed at by both sexes. “Haha! Loser! Don’t expect me to help you!” That was from the guys. From the females it was crueler if anything.

I learned real quick to shut up about my sex life, and I also learned to lie a lot. My stock answer to every question was, “I don’t talk about my love life.” And I didn’t. That way you keep everyone guessing.

The painful realization that I got out of all of this was that at least at a young age, say early 20′s, pretty much nobody, I mean nobody, I mean nobody, is going to help you get laid. And the longer the incel spree goes on, the worse things get. Your confidence, formerly as high as the clouds, is now down in the mud. After dating 75 females at age 23-24, people were asking me if I was a virgin! They were asking me if I had ever had a date! If I had ever had a girlfriend! I assume they were reacting to what appeared to be possibly the lack of confidence that I was generating.

So now we finally roll around to the subject of the post. After much mucking about, the Whale is finally in sight, waiting to be stuck.

I have noticed in recent years that when there is not much going on female-wise in my life, I turn women off everywhere I go. Especially with young women, the attitude is basically, “Get the Hell away from me!”

As my love life picks up and things get moving along nicely, the women suddenly become way, way friendlier. Even previously inaccessible young women. All of a sudden, there are friendly and sexy females everywhere I go.

You wear your life in your sleeve. It takes a woman to get a woman!

More on How To Tell If a Man Is Gay or Not

Doug writes:

Wow, could you be any more hypocritical in this article? First off, I am a homosexual. I have never had sex with a woman, nor do I want to. So the first line of your article says “Sexual orientation is determined by thoughts and attraction and not by behavior.” This is true. There are plenty of guys who are married to women who tell people they’re straight but in fact they fantasize about sex with men. Things go downhill in your article after that.

Later in the article you say “[I can tell whether someone is gay or not because] gay and bisexual men act like they are attracted to me!” WHAT? Ok, first, you’re pretty average looking. If I met you, I would NOT act like I was attracted to you. So thus, how would you know if I were gay or not? I guess you couldn’t tell.

In one of your responses to a comment, you say “You mean guy guys just hit on any guy that they think is hot? That makes a lot of sense to me! I always wondered how gay and bi men figure out who to hit on.” This is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. How does a straight man figure out who to hit on? What if he hits on a lesbian?

And no, not every gay men hits on everyone he thinks is hot. I’m not a moron, I do realize that most guys I see are not gay. Jesus. As a gay man, I can tell you that there are definitely some very effeminate gay men out there, as well as some very masculine ones. There may be a very few effeminate straight men, but believe me, most of those guys are just closet cases. If you think someone “seems” gay, he probably IS gay.

No, no, no, no, no! You cannot tell who is gay or not based on behavior. This is the biggest lie of them all. There is a vast number of straight men whose behavior ranges from effeminate to androgynous to soft, quiet and sensitive and “not macho.” The number of straight men who I have met who got falsely pegged as gay or bi based on behavior is very high! And many, many straight men are quite effeminate. It’s rather common actually.

If a gay/bi man is friendly towards me, traditionally he gives off vibes like he is attracted to me on some level, at the very least. It’s not commonly the case that a gay/bi man acts friendly and not attracted to me. On the other hand, many gay men are unfriendly or hostile. Even some of those act like they are turned on by me, but many are simply hostile. If they are hostile, they often don’t act turned on.

Gaydar is the biggest lie of the century. There is no such thing as gaydar! And even if it does exist, it doesn’t even work! And even if it did work, gay/bi men wouldn’t even use it anyway, since many of them spend a good part of their time trying to screw straight guys. I am convinced that gay/bi men simply like hot guys. They don’t even bother to figure out if the guy is straight or gay or whatever. It’s simply, “Get the hot guy.” That’s all it is. The commenter says he actually tries to figure out if a guy is gay or not before he goes after him. I figure that is pretty unusual for gay/bi men.

Figuring out if a guy is gay is fairly straightforward.

Things that may mean something:

1. Acts quite effeminate. This actually doesn’t prove anything at all, but with a lot of these guys, I give them a “question mark,” meaning “possibly gay.” I like to believe everyone is straight because I think being gay or bi sucks. It’s an insult to think a guy is gay/bi. So in order to be kind to him, I simply assume everyone is straight until I have some pretty good evidence otherwise. It’s extremely cruel to assume that a man who is not gay/bi is gay/bi. That’s a terrible thing to think about someone. To me, you have just accused him of one of the most horrible things on Earth. Innocent until proven guilty!

2. Guy acts like he is turned on by you as a man. Generally speaking, he is also somewhere on the effeminate spectrum of effeminate/androgynous/soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho to boot.

It is not common at all for a straight man to give off vibes like he is attracted to you. Sometimes it happens, but it has a very different feel to it. Sometimes they act like they are very uncomfortable with the feelings. Other times, they act like, “I am having these feelings, but I don’t want to act on them.”

Sexuality “leaks.” Young men in particular are highly sexual. Their extreme sex drive is “leaking out” all over the place. So if there is a very good-looking guy around, some of that excess sex drive might “leak” over in his direction.

Usually I can sort it out regarding a guy who is truly gay/bi or a straight man having passing feelings. For one thing, the gay/bi guys have a very serious aspect to their attraction, like it is something they really want to act on.

3. Has zero interest in females. I worked with a gay man once. The good looking secretary types were always coming up to my desk for some reason. After a while, I figured out he was oblivious to them. They were like part of the carpet, the furniture, the walls. They may as well have not even been there, like they were ghosts.

Admittedly this is hard to figure out.

Sometimes you see a “question mark” effeminate guy who is working somewhere. He is extremely popular with the females he works with, and he is always hanging around with them. However, they treat him like he is “one of the girls,” and he acts like “one of the girls.” A straight man in a situation like that would be giving off some pretty strong sexual energy towards the women he was horsing around with. You will notice that the gay man who is being “one of the gals” is not giving off any sexual energy at all towards those women, and they are not giving off any towards him. This is not an easy thing to pick up on, but if you are good at observing humans, you can sort of figure it out after a while.

Things that indicate nothing:

1. Behavior. Degree of effeminacy or masculinity is not indicative of anything at all. The range of normal behaviors among straight men is vast. Many straight men are on the effeminate/androgynous/soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho spectrum. So are most if not all gay men. Many gay men are not even effeminate at all. Instead, they are more the soft, sensitive, quiet/not macho types. As such, they overlap with a vast population of straight men, and it is quite hard to sort it all out.

So many people double down on behavior when really it’s the biggest red herring of all, and at the end of the day, it literally means nothing. I have known huge numbers of straight men who have been accused of being gay or bi their whole lives, apparently based solely on outward behavior.

2. Married or not. Means nothing in particular, though most married guys are not all that gay. A lot of single guys are gay, but huge numbers of them are not. Quite a few long term, never married bachelors are actually straight.

3. Dating history. Means nothing in the sense that a guy with no women around is not necessarily gay. The number of straight men with no females in their lives for whatever reason is very high. Many long-term incel guys who have never had anything sexual going on with women their whole lives are actually straight. Anyway, homosexuality is not determined by the absence of sex with women but by the presence of sex with men.

Looks, Game or Status, Which Gets More Women?

Tulio writes:

Hey Robert, another question for you. You have said numerous times that you went through a lot of pussy in your 20s. What do you think was responsible for it? I know you said that when you were that age you were a very good looking guy and even had gay guys constantly trying to fuck you.

I figure that a man’s access to pussy comes down to 3 factors:

1) Looks
2) Game
3) Status

I didn’t list those in any particular order of importance but I’m curious as to how you would rank them in terms of importance from your experience.

That is what I used to look like.

1. Looks yeah it helps all right. But looks with zero game is worth bukwas. I have known great looking guys have not yet had sex in years. I know one who is 50 yrs old and he has never had sex in his life. He’s a very good looking guy!

Also when you are young, really good looks is not that great because it attracts whole armies of horrific, monstrous and diabolical faggots. Queers are extremely attracted to good looking guys, and if you look good, you need to fend these morons off constantly. So looks is really a double edged sword because of all the nightmarish queers it attracts.

2. I don’t even know what Game is! What is it? But anyway, it is really more Game than anything else I can think of. You just have to give off a certain vibe like you are a Sex God, or the King of Love or the Hottest Stud of All Time. Personally, I think I am King of the World, and I always have. It’s completely ridiculous as honestly I am a total loser, but I believe it anyway. It was my looks combined with sheer egotism that got me chicks. The looks without the egotism was nearly worthless.

3. Get women by getting women. You get a reputation as a player, and the new ones will keep coming up to you buying tickets for the next ride on your train. Females want a guy who gets women. If you don’t get women, you can’t get women. If you don’t have a woman, you can hardly get one. Once you start getting women, you get this aura thing about you. You get one chick, and it grows so big. You get two, now it doubles in size. You get three, now it’s tripled. And as your aura grows and grows, more and more females are attracted to you. Your aura doubles, now twice as many women are into you. It triples, and now it’s three times as many. Pretty soon you are attracting females everywhere you go, even to the store or the gas station. And pretty soon you have so many females in your life that it’s actually a great big gigantic hassle full of Hellish and insane chaos and drama.

Let me put it this way. There are times in my life these days when I am incel. I won’t say for how long. When I am incel, a lot especially young women act like I am poison. They are like, “Get away from me, dirty old man!” Total disrespect.

Then I get a woman in my life or more than one. Now all of a sudden something has changed about me. The women who were earlier treating me like crap notice that something has changed, and now their attitude changes a lot. It’s hard to describe the change, but it’s like an attitude of respect to say the least.

4. Giving off a sexual aura or projecting a sexual state. I have been doing this for a very long time, and I have gotten it down. It’s probably one of the things that attracts the queers, the bi queers, the bi queerious and the “straight but flexibles.” If you give off a really strong state like that, you will give off sexual vibes to any environment. Even guys will pick up on it and start making plays for you, and of course females will too. I can’t think of anything more important than giving off that sexual state. Problem is if you are incel for a while and still giving off that state, a lot of women just think it is creepy. You get a woman, and now it is ok all of a sudden.

5. Genuinely like or love women. The world is full of misogynists of varying degrees. Women act terrible, so it’s understandable how a lot of men hate women. On the other hand, a lot of men act terrible too, so it’s understandable how a lot of women hate men. I would say that misogyny just does not work, though I understand that a lot of players are misogynists. How do they make it work? I would say to not go the misogynist route. Instead just simply decide to really really really really love women! Despite all their faults and all of that.

For the longest time, I have liked females more than males. For long periods, many to most of my friends were females. I preferred to spend time around females versus spending time around guys because guys act like such idiots. Anyway, once you start hanging around females all the time, a lot of “brand new male friends” will suddenly show up and want to be your best buddy just to get in on the action, so you will end up with male friends anyway. A total reverence and worshipful attitude towards women by a man who truly loves women will get you further than the other things on this list.

6. I put status last because I’ve never had any status in my life! I guess I have some now as a writer. As a real young guy, you get status by getting chicks and being a cool guy. I also got status by selling weed. Around age 24, it all turns into money, and that’s where the real problems begin. I spent a lot of my 20′s fighting with bitchy girlfriends who were mad at me for not making enough money because they made more than I did. I also lived off older women who made decent money when I had no income, but that doesn’t last. Sure, status gets women, but as I have never had any, I can’t say how it ranks!