Here we discuss some differences between schizophrenia and OCD. A commenter asks if I have schizophrenia.
Isn’t blunted emotions and weird, chaotic or intrusive thoughts more on the schizophrenia side of things?
I don’t have schizophrenia. A lot of OCD’ers complain that their emotions seem dead. Anyway, I don’t have the dead emotions of a schizophrenic. I have “constricted affect.”
What you see in a schizophrenic is totally different. Also, in schizophrenia, there is a lot more going on than weird, chaotic and intrusive thoughts, and anyway, in schiz, the thoughts are willed and wanted and not intrusive in general. For instance, schiz don’t try to stop their thoughts (typical of intrusive thoughts). They just accept them all of their normal thoughts.
I actually had a type of OCD called Schiz OCD for a bit. I was convinced that I had schizophrenia. One guy I saw thought I might have it. I argued with him, and he said, “All I know is you are way too electric right now.”
I called up a bunch of therapists on the phone when I was going seriously nuts and told them exactly what was happening. They all said, “It’s not schizophrenia. It looks like OCD, but it’s gotten way, way worse.” One guy said, “Look! If you were going psychotic, you wouldn’t be calling me up right now.”
I finally went to a doc and he got together with a psychiatrist and they discussed whether or not I was psychotic. They said, “No way! Forget it! They only delusion you have is that you’re psychotic!”
Unfortunately, when OCD gets really bad, they look psychotic. I run into OCD’ers all the time who have a psychotic dx and who have even been hospitalized as a danger to themselves or others with a psychotic dx on dismissal. I argued with all of them that they are not psychotic. The problem is in figuring out the difference between the delusions of psychosis and the obsessions of OCD, which unfortunately look similar sometimes. I can always tell, but clinicians can’t.
Anyway, we had big long arguments with me and this therapists, me saying I was schizophrenic and he saying I was not.
When I got really bad, things got really really weird. I sensed a presence in the world, and evil presence, like the Devil or something, and it seemed like it wanted me to do bad things. I didn’t do any bad things.
The people in the TV seemed really real and it seemed like they could walk out of the TV into the room. The newscasters especially seemed like they were talking right to me. I knew they weren’t, but it was pretty weird.
My thoughts were coming in loudspeakers and often they came in colors too. Typically the colors were faded like faded red or faded light green. Often the thoughts repeated over and over like strobe lights. Colors in the environment got a lot brighter (I still get this one sometimes.)
All of this stuff went right away with an SSRI, which proves it wasn’t psychosis. In psychosis, you need an antipsychotic.
It’s been 21 years since that madness went on, and it hasn’t come back, but I am always afraid it will.
I don’t have schizophrenia. The therapists have already beaten that one to death.