Do People Without OCD Ever Try to Stop Their Thoughts?

I do not think that most normal go around trying to stop thoughts all the time. Most people just think about whatever they want to, and aren’t resisting unwanted thoughts all the time. I asked a friend of mine if she had ever tried to stop a thought, and she said she had never tried to stop one thought in her entire life. She acknowledged that she worried about things sometimes, but these thoughts were not resisted as unwanted or alien intrusions.

I asked another friend whether she resisted or tried to stop her thoughts, and she told me that she never did. She said sometimes she gets unwanted memories or thinks about stuff she doesn’t really want to think about, but she doesn’t try to stop the thoughts.

Before I had OCD real bad, did I try to stop thoughts? Not much, but I did have obsessions from time to time.

The first one that I remember was when I was 12 years old. I was in Sunday school and they told us that God can hear every single one of your thoughts. Well, that set my mind off. Mind started saying, “Fuck God! Fuck you, God!” over and over. This went on for 10-15 minutes while I panicked and tried to stop the thoughts. They didn’t return that I am aware of.

The next one that I am aware of was about the garbage grinder. Not sure when it started, but I would get very strong urges to stick my hand down in the garbage grinder when it was going. That would be a catastrophe if I did that, so of course I never did it. For a while, I even stuck my hand in my back pocket while the grinder was going to keep from doing it.

I also had some gay thoughts, but those were obsessions and not real feelings.

They started around 1979. I would be sitting there talking to some guy, just him and me together, and all of sudden I would think, “I want to suck your cock!” That thought would just repeat over and over for 30 minutes to an hour. I would try to stop it, but I couldn’t. I seemed to able to carry on the conversations anyway, though it was annoying. I’ve always been heterosexual, so the thoughts didn’t make any kind of sense. They were not accompanied by any erotic feelings or anything like that.

One time I was interviewing a very famous rock star in a record company office in Hollywood when the gay thoughts started up. They went through the whole interview, but he was nice enough anyway. I still got good notes. He just died the other day.

One time when I heard about Hinckley, the guy who shot Reagan, and that he was in love with Jody Foster, my mind said, “I’m in love with Jody Foster!” I thought, “Whoa! Weird thought, man,” and I just dismissed it. I later mentioned this to my father and pointed out that just thinking something like that doesn’t mean you’re insane, but he just glowered at me and shook his head contemptuously. I guess he thought I was nuts.

Another time I was reading about the Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris case, a truly horrific case of serial murders that rocked Los Angeles in 1979 and 1980. They tortured one woman to death by stabbing her in the ear with an icepick. When I read that, I got an image of the stabbing with the icepick going into her ear repeatedly while she screamed. Every time the pick went in, my mind said, “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”

It was extremely disturbing to have those thoughts, but they only lasted a short time, maybe less than a minute. I was panicking out and furiously trying to stop them the whole time. They didn’t come back, but for a long time afterwards, I was really worried about myself even for thinking that way for 30 seconds one time.

All of the above are more or less OCD symptoms, or obsessions. Science has proven that ~80% of humans have obsessions at one time or another, so in a sense they are normal. But I don’t think it’s normal to fight them for an hour or so at a time.  On the other hand, if OCD symptoms are mild, only going on for maybe 3 hours or less out of a whole year, there’s not a whole lot to worry about.

There were other times when I just felt uncomfortable, but that didn’t feel like OCD. It just felt like a crappy feeling that I wanted to get away from.

For a while there, I was hanging around with people made me uncomfortable because they were ignorant and not that smart. At the time, I was in college. It was annoying to hang around with these people, who struck me as idiots, so I would get uncomfortable a lot of time when we were hanging out. They would come over to my place and put the latest retard Hollywood blockbuster on the VCR and sit there and laugh and cheer while I put my head in my hands.

Another time I was on a date with this 16 year old girl who was wildly in love with me. I was 20 at the time, but I used to screw all kinds of underage girls back in those days. I stopped when I was 21.

The first date was ok, but she was so stupid and idiotic teenage girl girlie that I was almost cringing. We had sex anyway, and it was lots of fun. She was horny as all get out. We planned a date for the next weekend, and that week, I was a wreck.

My friend was over visiting me at my place, and he asked me what was going on, and I said I had a date with girl, and I didn’t even like her. He was outraged. “You’re going out with a chick and you don’t even like her! You’re an asshole!” He shrieked. I felt horrible, like the worst person on Earth, crushed with guilt.

Well, the hottie was even hornier before the second date, so I figured, “Why not, let’s get laid. What the Hell man?” I went out with her, and I felt so uncomfortable, I was almost squirming the whole time.

We tried to have sex, but I had an impotence problem, which made me feel really awful. I relaxed more and an hour or so later, we tried it again, and this time it worked and we had wild sex. But I was still really uncomfortable with her. I am not sure if I was trying to get outside that feeling or what, but I was just stuck with it, and it didn’t feel good. I wanted to fake it with this chick, but my body was just saying,  “No way, dude.”

I dropped her off at her place, and she said her parents were going out of town in a couple of weeks, and she wanted me to come over every time so we could fuck constantly. I was like, “Oh my God. No way can I do this.”

I saw her later, and I dumped her just like that. Her face melted right in front of me, and she burst into a vale of tears like a little girl, then she ran inside her house really fast, like a little girl once again. I stood there feeling like the worst scum on the face of the Earth, just devastated with guilt.

Later she told all her friends about me, and some of her teenage friends saw me one time. They came up to me and said, “We heard about what you did. You fucked her and dumped her! You’re an asshole!” I felt like a sack of worms once again.

Later I was with a friend at some park fair, and she was at a booth. I gingerly walked up to the booth, greeted her apologetically, and maybe bought something. She was pleasant enough. I walked away, and her two teenage girl friends were all over my ex girlfriend, swarming their lips in her ears the way girls do. She was apparently telling them, “Hey, I fucked that guy!” Her friends looked at me like I was a Fillet Mignon.

Another time we were on a bus going to Colorado. We had a keg on the bus and we were getting wasted. Most of us were totaled, and some of us were stoned on weed from a bong. The driver was laughing about the keg, but he was mad about the bong.

This girl was in the lap of this total idiot, and he was doing much about it. I looked at her and worked my magic. Her eyes saw me and went to Heaven. I reached my hand out and she reached out hers, and I pulled her away from the idiot. She was happy to be rescued, a damsel in distress.

We had a hot and wild messing around session for while, and we even had some weird kind of sex, or as much sex as you can have on a bus seat in a bus full of people. My friend came by and saw us messing around. He leaned over, the chick left me, and then he and her made out for a while, him leaning over her while she was in my lap. Weird and almost group sex but not quite.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover, and I looked at her and I thought, “Damn! She sure looked better last night when I was totaled!” She looked like Hell. I went back to a couple of seats where a couple other chicks, friends of mine, were sitting, squeezed in between them and smoked some weed.

Then I went back and felt more and more uncomfortable. I could not wait to get away from this chick. We stopped for breakfast, and she went off with her giggling friends in a whispering gaggle as her friends pointed at me. Some idiot “friend” of mine said accusatorily, “You blew it! You got involved too early in the trip!” I felt crushed. A couple I was friends with came up to me and basically said, “Good score!”

We went back on the bus, and I got more and more uncomfortable. I did not want to be with this chick! Finally, she read the writing and moved to another seat, and it was all over.

So sometimes we struggle with our feelings for this or that reason, but that isn’t the same thing as resisting an unwanted thought, feeling or urge that you get in OCD.

Qualitatively, it’s completely different. I can’t put it into words, but it’s like the two experiences are from different planets.

Bottom line is I just do not believe that normal folks go around struggling with unwanted thoughts, feelings and urges all the time. It’s just ridiculous.

Bigfoot News June 14, 2012

The Dr. Melba Ketchum Project – what do we know and how do we know it? People keep asking me to “put up or shut up” about my claims that some Bigfoot samples have been DNA proven Ketchum’s DNA project. What exactly are the rumors, and what are my sources for those rumors? At the moment, all we have are rumors, because there is no published paper. There will be nothing but rumors until there is a published paper.

At first Ketchum was only testing the MtDNA, and it kept coming back human, so she thought there was nothing there. Then Richard Stubstad ran a few of the MtDNA sequences in GenBank and got an interesting result that spurred her on because it was so unusual. Stubstad showed her it was unusual and encouraged her to explore things further because she was ready to quit at that point. At this point she had some very strange MtDNA that was, to be honest, modern human, but just barely.

This was when she was theorizing Bigfoots were a tribe of “feral humans.”

Then at some point she ran the Nuclear DNA, but this was a very long process because the human primers did not work, so they had to keep making their own primers, and they had to keep making them over and over because they only worked for a while and then they had to make new ones. It was a great big mess. Finally they got some primers that worked well, and that is what they are using now, but it was a long involved mess of a journey to get there.

Apparently at some point she finished a lot of the NuDNA, and she got a result that it was outside the human range, anywhere from 10-37% of the way from a human to a chimp. She kept running NuDNA, and they all started coming back the same.

She figured this was “presumptive for Bigfoot” because it was coming back no known animal, unknown primate, and basically an unknown hominid somewhere between a human and a chimp. Out of 200 submissions, she now has almost 100 of these sequences, and she thinks she can prove the Bigfoots exist by DNA. The other 100+ submissions were apparently all known animals.

In addition, in November 2011 she got permission to sequence the entire nuclear genome of the Bigfoot steak. It took about three weeks to do that. After that, she sequenced two other entire genomes, for a total of three so far. Other than the steak, I don’t know which other samples had their genomes sequenced.

So that’s what she means by DNA proven – more like DNA proven “presumptive for Bigfoot” because there is no type specimen.

But she has to prove it all in her paper, and before that, she has to get the paper published in the first place, a huge hurdle.

A lot the information above comes from Richard Stubstad, and he had access to more information than just the early days of the project. The rest of it comes from submitters or people who talked to submitters, who I cannot name, but it includes some big names who you would recognize. They were all quoting Ketchum herself. The nuclear genome sequencing information comes from Bigfoot Forums, especially “Jodie.”

As far as genetic markers, all I know about is the MC1R gene. They ran four copies of that gene. Two came back exactly the same, and two others came back different. Each one was off by one polymorphism out of ~400-500.

So these Bigfoots are off from humans by say four polymorphisms or so, according to the preliminary data from the MC1R gene. None of those polymorphisms was within the human range (not found in humans). This means that the Bigfoot MC1R gene is essentially outside the human range.

The source for MC1R gene information is Richard Stubstad. But he won’t give out the exact coding for the gene.

Ketchum sent the samples out to various different labs, including some of the top private and university labs in the country. For instance, the Bigfoot steak from the Sierra Kills was sent out to eight different labs because they wanted to make sure what it was. The samples were all sent out blindly.  It kept coming back “no known animal, unknown primate.” And the primate was close to hominid if you looked closely.

A lot of the labs were intrigued by the results, and their attitude was, “What the heck!? What the heck is this anyway!?” They thought the results were very strange.

Some of the labs supposedly somehow figured out what they might be looking at. How they figured this out and if it effects results, I am not sure. But they just did their job, took the money and handed the results back in.

So far out of 200 submissions, Ketchum has almost 100 presumptive for Bigfoot, and out of those, she has 20-28 discreet individuals. There are photos of many of the successful samples on Shawn’s Bigfoot Evidence site.

Sources for information are people who know submitters, submitters and people on Bigfoot Forums, especially Jodie.

Rundown of samples in the Ketchum study.

Bigfoot samples submitted: Over 200
Presumptive for Bigfoot: Almost 100
# of Bigfoot individuals represented: 20-28

Details of successful Bigfoot samples:

5 hair samples from Golden Ears Provincial Park in British Colombia, representing 3 separate creatures, a male, a female and a juvenile from a family unit, gathered by Randy Brisson of the Erickson Project.

1 toenail from Larry Jenkins in the Grand Canyon area of Arizona.

1 blood sample from JC Johnson in the Four Corners area of New Mexico (skunk in a drainpipe sample).

1 blood sample from Crittenden, Kentucky, gathered by the Dennis Pfohl and Lelia Hadj-Chikh of the Erickson Project. Sample was obtained by gluing glass shards on a feeding plate.

1 hair sample from David Paulides’ NABS known as the Ulibarri sample from Hoopa Valley, California.

1 hair sample from Larry Surface in Southern Ohio. Surface shot the controversial nighttime Bigfoot video that was pulled from the web recently.

1 hair sample from Joe Black in the Great Smoky Mountains, Eastern Tennessee.

1 tissue sample in the form of a slice of Bigfoot flesh from Mount Haskell, California from the adult male Bigfoot shot dead by Justin Smeja in the Sierra Kills incident.

1 large sample of saliva from the Olympic Project obtained via a Bigfoot licking a camera.

1 hair sample from SE Oklahoma collected by TEXLA Cryptozoological Research.

1 blood, tissue and hair sample from a nailboard trap at Snelgrove Lake, Ontario, Canada (presumably successful).

1 Yeti sample from Josh Gates in Bhutan*

That is only 15 of nearly 100 successful Bigfoot samples. I have no idea about the rest.

Best Bigfoot samples: Smeja’s Bigfoot steak and JC Johnson’s skunk in a drainpipe Bigfoot sample.

*The Yeti sample was tested only on a quick and dirty male-female peaks test, and the result was suggestive of a non-human hominid similar to Bigfoot. She used up the whole sample in the testing, and this sample will not be included in the paper.

The Crypto Crew thinks that the Idaho video we showed the other day is of a mother bear and two cubs. However, later those who shot the video later released video footprint evidence that indicates it was a Bigfoot. Decide for yourself.

Facebook Find Bigfoot releases photo of possible Bigfoot from an Ontario video. The photo is from a video of a guy investigating stick structures in Ontario. As he was investigating, a Bigfoot was apparently watching him from the top of a rocky outcropping. Looks pretty real in my opinion, but you never know. That is definitely what these things look like. Especially the deep set eyes looks like the Pennsylvania White Bigfoot.

Click to enlarge. Photo of a possible Bigfoot peeking over a ridge in Ontario. Looks pretty real to me.

How I Deal With Commenters

In the comments section, a commenter named Jake is trying to get me to ban an Indian nationalist named Jaipal. I told him that I go to great lengths not to ban Jaipal because I want to keep him on here. One of the ways I do that is by simply not engaging with Jaipal or not fighting with him.

Well then I’m curious then, why don’t you want to “fight” him? There were many other threads where you just banned Black commentators without them even attacking you or personally disagreeing with you one bit. Are there too many Indian nationalists that you have to handle on a daily basis that it gets tiring?

Wrong Jake! Are you Black? I have not banned any Black commenters who did not attack or personally disagree with me! I generally will never do that.

There are not so many Indian nationalists that I can’t deal with them all. Anyway, almost all of them get banned almost immediately. Jaipal has played his cards very well, and I compliment him for that. He’s a good contrary voice, and I am happy to keep him around.

Almost all commenters get banned for attacking me personally in a hostile manner. A few others get banned for things like hostile tone. Others get banned for constantly disagreeing with everything I say and being contrary, but that’s not common, and I give them a lot of slack. I let a lot of them ride on this ice for a while because at the end of the day, I want to ban as few people as possible.

Some commenters take a persistent contrary tone because that’s their agenda, but I don’t mind that so much. We had some Black nationalists on here, and we have Indian nationalists now. As I don’t want to ban them, I often just don’t engage them that much because I don’t want to set them off and get them banned.

A lot of other commenters I personally like a lot, and I deliberately don’t engage them when they disagree because I don’t want to get into a big tiff with them. I just sit back and let others take them on or just let it die.

There’s a real downside to banning too many commenters, and that’s that it makes people afraid to comment. It’s also shameful in that it makes me look bad if I ban too many people. And it’s also a bit painful to be banning people all the time because it’s such a hostile thing to do on my part. I don’t really feel very good about it, and it can make the site look bad.