I asked this question of Ferdinand Bardamu, the fine blogger at In Mala Fide. I work as a therapist/counselor for mentally ill people, but I mostly only deal with anxiety disorders and in particular OCD which I am something of an expert on.
Anyway, I got to thinking where OCD behavior is on the Alpha -Beta – Omega spectrum. On thing is for sure, it can definitely turn women off. I know guys with this illness who have not had sex in 20 years. Depending on the nature of the obsessions, it can really be a woman repellent and lead to a lot of avoidance. I’ve also noticed that a lot of these guys seem to have issues with occasional and sometimes longer-lasing impotence. That seems to go along with the anxiety stuff.
I also noticed that some of these guys have girlfriends. Some of them are getting a lot of sex too. Some are deeply depressed, even suicidal. Others complain to their girlfriends all the time that they are worried that they are child molesters, even though they are not. Incredibly, their women put up with this, love them dearly, stick by them through thick and thin, and even give them lots of sex. Some of the women are pretty good looking too.
I’m no stranger to the type of behavior these guys are engaging in, though I’m over much of it as I age. My experience was that depression and anxiety were serious killers for relationships with women. My anxiety and depression aroused nothing but contempt and raging hatred. It’s true that some of them felt sorry for me too, and there were a lot of good times in there, but I came away with a bad taste in my mouth.
My questions to Ferdinand were whether this was Beta or Omega behavior on the part of the guys, and how it was possible that these guys had hot, horny, loving women who put up with this shit.
The easiest way to think of the Alpha-Beta-Omega spectrum is like this:
Alpha – inherently attractive to women
Beta - neither attractive nor repulsive to women
Omega – inherently repulsive to women
Betas are like your average guy – a few issues maybe, but they can function on a day to day basis and are more or less normal. I’d say 60-80 percent of men are beta. Omegas are like homeless bums or ultra-dorky World of Warcraft shut-ins with hygiene issues – people on the margins of society and are pretty much loathed by everyone.
I’d say having extreme, crippling anxiety when women are around (as opposed to the normal anxiety that most guys have) is Omega. Basically any trait that would impede not only getting with women but just being a functioning, social human being is Omega. For more info, you might want to read this blog.
The guy who writes it describes himself as an Omega and has more first-hand knowledge of social dysfunction then I do.
As for how some of ‘em have girlfriends, it may be because they have other redeeming attributes that balance out their issues. There’s a class of girls who would be attracted to a guy like that because they view him as a “project” and think they can fix him with their love or something. Of course, they have to be attracted to him to begin with.
And there are some chicks who like wimpy guys. Outliers, but they exist. I was in college when the whole emo fad was starting to get big. One of my roommates was a whiny little bitch who was emo to a tee – lispy voice, effeminate manner and dress, complained all the time. Only thing he didn’t do was slit his wrists. He basically had a rotating harem of three or four girls for the months that I knew him. Some girls just find that shit cute. Don’t know why.
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